Ace of Spades HQ

December 12, 2013

The Secret War of Cats on Dogs, Part II: Stealing the Dog-Bed
— Ace

The first post, about cats refusing to let dogs pass on stairs or in hallways, only scratched the surface.

Feline aggression against dogs extends right to the heart of dog existence: To their fluffy dog-beds.

This aggression must not stand.

Thanks to @ninjim.

Posted by: Ace at 09:23 AM | Comments (146)
Post contains 67 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Cats are far smarter.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 12, 2013 09:24 AM (JdUCt)

2 Doggeh needs a Drone

Posted by: kbdabear at December 12, 2013 09:25 AM (aTXUx)

3 I'm a pussy fan

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at December 12, 2013 09:26 AM (GjPnA)

4 Kittehs are bed hogging creatures

If there's one sure thing in this world; if you're really tired and want to lie down, a kitteh will be stretched out to his or her full length across the exact center of your bed

Posted by: kbdabear at December 12, 2013 09:28 AM (aTXUx)

5 My shitty cat's been known to piss in the dog bed, just so nobody else can enjoy it.

Posted by: Clownf*cker at December 12, 2013 09:29 AM (V40IZ)

6 We just got a kitty climbing apparatus for Christmas. Very nice one, gift from Mom. Every day is a series of battles of King of the Mountain interspersed with spontaneous naps. It's great to hear the cats scratching and jumping all over stuff and not have to jump up to stop hem. I've had cats for years and never bothered with the climber things, now I'd highly recommend it for people with indoor cats. Plenty of exercise, no mess.

Posted by: Lincolntf at December 12, 2013 09:30 AM (ZshNr)

7 Poor doggies. Brainwashed by a judgmental society that has unjustly indoctrinated dogs to deny them their natural instincts to kick the living shit out of any cat that gets in their way.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 12, 2013 09:31 AM (SY2Kh)

8 Kittehs are bed hogging creatures

An 8-lb kitteh can occupy an entire queen-sized bed.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at December 12, 2013 09:32 AM (ZKzrr)

9 The poor beagle trying to lay in the cats bed.

Posted by: buzzion at December 12, 2013 09:32 AM (LI48c)

10 I heard Black Fletch knows how to translate dog barks.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 12, 2013 09:33 AM (ZPrif)

11 Cat bullying is the defining problem of our time.

Posted by: President Squirrel at December 12, 2013 09:33 AM (1Rgee)

12 Cats are FSA There I said it!

Posted by: Thunderb at December 12, 2013 09:33 AM (zOTsN)

>>>An 8-lb kitteh can occupy an entire queen-sized bed.

My 16-lb kitteh would rather stretch out across the entire love seat.

Posted by: LibertarianJim at December 12, 2013 09:34 AM (XMDuf)

14 When I was a kid we had a Scotty and a cat. Around Christmas time, we were in the kitchen and we kept hearing a thud and then a crackling . Finally got up to investigate and found the cat on the table swatting the Christmas tree ornaments down onto the tree skirt and the Scotty sitting on the ornaments until they broke. Evil team effort.

Posted by: polynikes at December 12, 2013 09:34 AM (m2CN7)

15 This is how you handle it: http://goo.gl/gpIFsG

Posted by: Dr. Jesse Pinkman at December 12, 2013 09:35 AM (h4eud)

16 Ace, this is advocacy journalism. Sure, cats steal dogs beds. But there is a truth you're NOT showing. What we don't see here is 5,000 years of dogs biting, killing, disemboweling and eating cats. AoSHQ is the Pravda of dog-cat dynamics!

Posted by: zombie at December 12, 2013 09:35 AM (+cx5n)

17 Dogs with drones? Pulease here is cat in a tank!

http://youtu.be/mSBKZPNsK74

Language warning

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 12, 2013 09:35 AM (JdUCt)

18 Yes, cats are natural sleepers once they get out of the rip and tear stage. Doggies don't get into the permanent sleeping mode until they are old.

But I have a BIL that has both a kitteh and a doggee and the doggee took care of the kitteh when she was a kitten and still looks out after her. Most of the time they sleep curled up on each other.

Posted by: Vic[/i] at December 12, 2013 09:35 AM (T2V/1)

19 Cats are the OWS squatters of domestic pets

Posted by: Thunderb at December 12, 2013 09:36 AM (zOTsN)

20 10 I heard Black Fletch knows how to translate dog barks. Oh, that's easy: "Hey! Hey! Hey, hey hey! Hey! Heyyyy!

Posted by: Bat Chain Puller at December 12, 2013 09:36 AM (SCcgT)

There was a distinct lack of corgi in the video.

Corgi compliance video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yD3yVwC0fjg

Posted by: buzzion at December 12, 2013 09:36 AM (LI48c)

22 RE the sidebar link to bfwebster, I put a link in my sock for text of The Cold Equations. Should be required reading in high school, in my opinion.

Posted by: Paid for by Citizens for Clyde the Orangutan at December 12, 2013 09:36 AM (QF8uk)

23 If there's one sure thing in this world; if you're really tired and want to lie down, a kitteh will be stretched out to his or her full length across the exact center of your bed ----------------- Two sure things. Because what happens next is that fucker is vacating the premises. Thanks for warming it up. Now get your own.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at December 12, 2013 09:37 AM (Ojzqg)

24 1 Cats are far smarter. Posted by: Anna Puma The science is settled on this issue: Cats have brains; dogs have souls. But not vice-versa.

Posted by: zombie at December 12, 2013 09:37 AM (+cx5n)

25 I hate cats. Ok, I lie. If cooked right they're pretty tasty.

Posted by: mugiwara at December 12, 2013 09:38 AM (iX7Xe)

26 These photos of unlikely pets always make me nervous. You've seen them -- a dog with a lion, for example. I can't believe a lot of those "friends" don't get eaten.

Posted by: Dr. Jesse Pinkman at December 12, 2013 09:38 AM (h4eud)

27
those dogs are racists.

Posted by: msnbc at December 12, 2013 09:38 AM (MaP11)

28 First dog is just like mine.

Gets his ass handed to him by the behemoth kitteh all the time.

Posted by: EC at December 12, 2013 09:38 AM (GQ8sn)

29 What we don't see here is 5,000 years of dogs biting, killing, disemboweling and eating cats. You say that like it's a bad thing. Dogs being dogs.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 12, 2013 09:38 AM (FNtJ6)

30 Our little 8 lb cat wanders amongst our three dogs, the smallest of which is 55 lbs, without a care. The only dog who really challenges her is the 105 lb male. The smallest dog had her butt absolutely kicked by the cat. Of course, the cat was born feral, so, might have something to do with it. We heard this insane yowling from the backyard one day and when my wife went and looked, the dog was being chased around the yard by the cat. I thought my wife was going to die of a stroke, she was laughing so hard.

Posted by: Blake at December 12, 2013 09:40 AM (HBuxY)

31 My (maybe) 5 pound cat intimidated and physically abused my 80 pound dog for the 8 years they shared the house with me, but the dog was sad when the cat died and moped for months.

Posted by: huerfano at December 12, 2013 09:40 AM (bAGA/)

32 Cats are FSA Dogs are taxpayers

Posted by: Thunderb at December 12, 2013 09:41 AM (zOTsN)

33 What this doesn't show is the atrocities committed by dogs. I'm talking dog deciding that it needs to be not just on my bed but snuggled up with ass next to my face. Waking up to dog ass in the face is a crime against humanity.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 12, 2013 09:41 AM (g1DWB)

34 Ace, I'm glad you are cataloguing these despicable felinies! You should continue to doggedly hound the scoundrels until justice is done.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 12, 2013 09:42 AM (lHb9q)

35 All soft places are the domain of cats. Period. Dogs and humans should realize this and stop being speciesist. If a soft place exists, it belongs to catdom. And if you create a soft place in the future, cats already have dibs on it before it's even completed. If you don't know this already, then that's your problem. Trying to create a soft place and then somehow insist that it is not the exclusive domain of cats is a crime against the natural order of the universe, and should be a punishable offense.

Posted by: zombie at December 12, 2013 09:42 AM (+cx5n)

Not all dogs are cowed. A relation of mine grew up on a farm in Neb. They had outdoor dogs and lots of semi-wild cats (for vermin). The dogs killed the cats all the time. One of the dogs apparently liked to break a cat's back, leaving the poor kitteh to a slow crawling death.

It would be the same with hunting dogs. Its just indoor/urban dogs that suffer this way.

Posted by: Brian at December 12, 2013 09:42 AM (Hd5n8)

37 Rescue doggie now likes to lay across my lap and snooze. Hubby thinks she acts like a cat

Posted by: Thunderb at December 12, 2013 09:42 AM (zOTsN)

38 If I were not allergic to cats I would hate them 10% less. If so many single chicks didn't have cats I would hate them 20% less. If cats didn't force me to choose between a 3rd date bj and breathing I probably wouldn't hate them at all. This is awesome. This is awesome. This is ... wheeze .. wheeze ... do you have a cat?

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 12, 2013 09:42 AM (ZPrif)

39 A Department of Labor search shows that liberal MSNBC host Ed Schultz received at least $177,000 from labor unions in 2012. This year alone the DOL shows Schultz has been paid $75,000 by the AFL-CIO The MFM. We report what we're PAID to report.

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at December 12, 2013 09:42 AM (7ObY1)

40 Cats are FSA

Human-Americans charge $60/hr to snuggle me on a couch. Feline-Americans will do it for kibble.

Cats, doin' the jobs people won't do.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at December 12, 2013 09:43 AM (ZKzrr)

41 With one 8 lb. Aby cat and two Shelties, the squaw and I fight over the remaining 20% of our king-sized bed every night.

Posted by: Countrysquire at December 12, 2013 09:43 AM (LSJmV)

42 A lot of those dogs needed larger beds.

Posted by: Dr. Jesse Pinkman at December 12, 2013 09:43 AM (h4eud)

43 The Mean Kitty Song with Lil Sparta
http://youtu.be/Qit3ALTelOo

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 12, 2013 09:43 AM (JdUCt)

44 I don't think the aggression is in standing, so to speak.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Death Capades - ObamaCare on Ice! Sponsored by the Outrage Outlet at December 12, 2013 09:43 AM (hLRSq)

45 Okay, we're at the point now where this is simple canine wimpiness. These are all Neville Chamberlain hounds, giving their fluffy Sudetenlands to the feline Nazis.

Posted by: joncelli at December 12, 2013 09:44 AM (RD7QR)

46 37 Not all dogs are cowed. A relation of mine grew up on a farm in Neb. They had outdoor dogs and lots of semi-wild cats (for vermin). The dogs killed the cats all the time. One ofthe dogsapparently liked to breaka cat's back, leaving the poor kitteh toa slow crawling death. It would be the same with hunting dogs. Its just indoor/urban dogs that suffer this way. Posted by: Brian Finally, some truth on this thread!

Posted by: zombie at December 12, 2013 09:44 AM (+cx5n)

47 O/T: Sidebar about Yellowstone, excerpt: It is an underground cavern measuring some 55 miles by 20 miles and containing between 125 and 185 billion cubic miles of molten rock.
Now, I am just a layman, but those figures o_O don't add up in my head... 185 billion cubic miles in 55x20 xhowever deep cavern?

Posted by: Kinley Ardal at December 12, 2013 09:44 AM (kM76g)

48 Rescue doggie sleeping in my lap now. She is devoted to me. Love her

Posted by: Thunderb at December 12, 2013 09:45 AM (zOTsN)

49 38 Rescue doggie now likes to lay across my lap and snooze. Hubby thinks she acts like a cat

Posted by: Thunderb at December 12, 2013 01:42 PM (zOTsN)

Every dog think they're a lap dog.

Posted by: buzzion at December 12, 2013 09:46 AM (LI48c)

50 I have a wolf hybrid that would already be chewing kitty's cranium into pea size bites

Posted by: Beto at December 12, 2013 09:46 AM (MhA4j)

51 185 billion cubic miles in 55x20 xhowever deep cavern?

Maybe there's a Tardis down there.

Posted by: Waterhouse at December 12, 2013 09:46 AM (8b2sh)

52 Any dog but the smallest toys can kill a cat if they have the will and can catch it.

Posted by: steevy at December 12, 2013 09:46 AM (zqvg6)

53 21 10 I heard Black Fletch knows how to translate dog barks. Oh, that's easy: "Hey! Hey! Hey, hey hey! Hey! Heyyyy! --- You forgot "SQUIRREL!"

Posted by: Dug at December 12, 2013 09:47 AM (/Crba)

54 Other doggie thinks he is fierce and violent and will not willing go in a lap. He likes to lay by your feet

Posted by: Thunderb at December 12, 2013 09:47 AM (zOTsN)

55 50 38 Rescue doggie now likes to lay across my lap and snooze. Hubby thinks she acts like a cat Posted by: Thunderb at December 12, 2013 01:42 PM (zOTsN) Every dog think they're a lap dog. --- It can be cute when it is a small or medium sized dog. My in-laws' boxer, however? Not so much.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at December 12, 2013 09:47 AM (/Crba)

56 You can see the cats and dogs in the video are on good terms though,not withstanding the bed stealing.

Posted by: steevy at December 12, 2013 09:48 AM (zqvg6)

185 billion cubic miles?

There's a Chris Christie joke in there somewhere.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 12, 2013 09:48 AM (lHb9q)

58 Edge of Tomorrow with Tom Cruise.
http://youtu.be/vw61gCe2oqI

Is it me or does this movie seem like Groundhog Day meets the anime Starship Troopers?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 12, 2013 09:48 AM (JdUCt)

59 58 185 billion cubic miles? There's a Chris Christie joke in there somewhere. --- That the size of his lower intestines?

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at December 12, 2013 09:48 AM (/Crba)

60 When I was a kid our family terrier killed my sister gerbils and proudly presented them to my mother like a gift

Posted by: Thunderb at December 12, 2013 09:48 AM (zOTsN)

61 "AoSHQ is the Pravda of dog-cat dynamics!

Posted by: zombie at December 12, 2013 01:35 PM (+cx5n) "

I suspect Ace's antipathy toward pussy has it's roots in his love life.

Posted by: maddogg at December 12, 2013 09:48 AM (xWW96)

Maybe those cats would mellow out a little if they had something soothing like a tonic.

A cat-a-tonic.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 12, 2013 09:49 AM (lHb9q)

63 I suspect Ace's antipathy toward pussy has it's roots in his love life. --- Has he had pussy since pussy had him?

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at December 12, 2013 09:49 AM (/Crba)

64 I used to have a badass cat. His name was Black Bart because I'm rayciss. (actually, because he was entirely black. Paw pads, whiskers, claws, even the inside of his mouth was black!) That cat was so damn smart I could do stupid pet tricks with him and amuse my friends. He had a pretty impressive vocabulary for a cat. He was an Asian shorthair, they are very vocal, like Siamese. And in his eighteen year life, he took care of any and every vermin. Never had a mouse, or even a housefly in the house. Once time, an out of control party guest made a move to swing on me, and Black Bart sprang out of nowhere and bit the drunkard hard on the knee. He watched out for me like a guard dog. And he got along great with the actual doggies in the house. They all loved each other. He passed away on the 4th of July, 4 years ago. I sat up with him all night long while he died. I haven't got another cat since. Not even a big cat fan, normally But Black Bart was one of a kind.

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at December 12, 2013 09:49 AM (7ObY1)

65 Because what happens next is that fucker is vacating the premises. "Thanks for warming it up."

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at December 12, 2013 01:37 PM (Ojzqg)

How EOJ, Hotel Hellion, handles the male guests who check in with supermodel wives.

Posted by: kathysaysso at December 12, 2013 09:50 AM (6H6o8)

66 48 O/T: Sidebar about Yellowstone, excerpt: It is an underground cavern measuring some 55 miles by 20 miles and containing between 125 and 185 billion cubic miles of molten rock. Now, I am just a layman, but those figures o_O don't add up in my head... 185 billion cubic miles in 55x20 xhowever deep cavern? Posted by: Kinley Ardal Finally -- FINALLY -- a use for 8th-grade math ("pre-algebra" it was called): 55 * 20 * X = 185,000,000,000 --> 1100 * X = 185,000,000,000 --> The hole must be 16,818 million miles deep. Not likely. Pre-algebra FTW!

Posted by: zombie at December 12, 2013 09:50 AM (+cx5n)

67 Black Bart I salute you. You were a hell of a cat

Posted by: Thunderb at December 12, 2013 09:51 AM (zOTsN)

68 Maybe those cats would mellow out a little if they had something soothing like a tonic. A cat-a-tonic. The dogs would be much happier if they just had a pault. A cat-a-pault.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 12, 2013 09:51 AM (FNtJ6)

69 I mean come on,the biggest house cat is in the 20-25 lb range(not counting fatso kittehs),they are optimised to kill small prey,dogs can bring down the biggest animals on the continent if they are in a pack(nott counting toys).

Posted by: steevy at December 12, 2013 09:51 AM (zqvg6)

70 Those cats are puss-ilanimous!

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 12, 2013 09:52 AM (lHb9q)

71 The soulless demon a/k/a cat: It will steal your bed after stealing your soul.

Posted by: RoyalOil at December 12, 2013 09:52 AM (VjL9S)

72 Ace is an experienced and active lover. He just knows that if he talks about us, we'll cut his balls off.

Posted by: Society of Ace's Ex & Current GFs at December 12, 2013 09:52 AM (h4eud)

73 That is not a tasty looking canine

Posted by: Barry Soetoro at December 12, 2013 09:52 AM (Pr6hk)

74 48 And according to Al Gore it's hotter than the Sun.

Posted by: Beto at December 12, 2013 09:52 AM (MhA4j)

75 Not a big cat fan. I just don't like live animals on my tables and countertops. Also, muddy cat tracks on my car and cat fur on my convertible top.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 12, 2013 09:52 AM (yh0zB)

76 I saw the Secret War of Cats on Dogs open for Foreigner in '02 at a local bar. I was excited about the show until I realized that SWoCoD was an anti-Semitic Guess Who cover band. "No Time left for Jews" was in particularly bad taste.

Posted by: Countrysquire at December 12, 2013 09:52 AM (LSJmV)

77 So did SWoCoD open for Pussy Riot at any time?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 12, 2013 09:53 AM (JdUCt)

Black Bart!!

Welp, say goodby to the wife and tater tots!

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at December 12, 2013 09:54 AM (lHb9q)

79 Welp, say goodby to the wife and tater tots! Someone call the police!

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b] at December 12, 2013 09:55 AM (P7Wsr)

80 78 So did SWoCoD open for Pussy Riot at any time? Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) +++++++++++++++++++++++++ Now you're just being silly.

Posted by: Countrysquire at December 12, 2013 09:55 AM (LSJmV)

There was a distinct lack of corgi in the video.

As well as a lack of American Eskimo.

Compliance video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UIJvu5_ONk

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 12, 2013 09:56 AM (zF6Iw)

82 Anna Puma, look like a little Source Code thrown in for good measure.

Posted by: no good deed at December 12, 2013 09:56 AM (HsJeN)

83 Three dog night Cause there is no three cat night

Posted by: Thunderb at December 12, 2013 09:56 AM (zOTsN)

84 All beds are cat beds. But some of those beds are "occupied" by human and dogs squatters when the cats are away attending to other beds in their bed-harems. So the cats sometimes return to lay claim to their beds and now you people/canines have the gall to act like those beds are yours??? Begone, interlopers!

Posted by: zombie at December 12, 2013 09:56 AM (+cx5n)

I think my bulldogs would enjoy a cat.

Tug-o-war is their favorite.

Posted by: Roland THTG at December 12, 2013 09:56 AM (QM5S2)

A cat and dog walk into a bar and each order a beer.

The bartender delivers the beer and tells the dog his beer is $3.00 and the cat's beer is $1.50. "

The dog says " how come my beer costs twice as much as the cat's?"

The bartender says , " Its ladies night, and pussy drinks for 1/2 price.

Posted by: polynikes at December 12, 2013 09:57 AM (m2CN7)

87 What we don't see here is 5,000 years of dogs biting, killing, disemboweling and eating cats.
========
Just the way God wanted it.

Forcing dogs to subjugate their natural instinct is commie liberal propaganda.

It's been left to the Free Coyote Army to keep the faith. Infiltrating the coddled suburbs to restore the natural order.

Posted by: RoyalOil at December 12, 2013 09:57 AM (VjL9S)

88 Dogs have masters.

Cats have staff.

Posted by: Buck Farack, Gentleman Adventurer at December 12, 2013 09:57 AM (Nk6GS)

89 Not a big cat fan. I just don't like live animals on my tables and countertops. Also, muddy cat tracks on my car and cat fur on my convertible top.

Also, having to keep an open container of poop in your house.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 12, 2013 09:58 AM (SY2Kh)

Waking up to dog ass in the face is a crime against humanity.

Tell me about it, brah!

Posted by: Barky O'Bumbles at December 12, 2013 09:58 AM (zF6Iw)

91 84 Three dog night Cause there is no three cat night Posted by: Thunderb Now there can be -- thanks to Viagra.

Posted by: zombie at December 12, 2013 09:59 AM (+cx5n)

92 Cats have brains; dogs have souls. But not vice-versa. Posted by: zombie at December 12, 2013 01:37 PM (+cx5n) -- Cats have staff and dogs have masters

Posted by: Velvet Ambition at December 12, 2013 09:59 AM (R8hU8)

I do like cats. I had a cat when I was in college. His (still had his nuts) name was Mong, short for, well, you know.

One day I spent the whole afternoon washing and waxing my car. When almost done, here comes Mong, walking through the mud, hops up on the hood and tracks from the nose of the car across the top and down to the back end. Nice. So I dropped my buffing cloth, grabbed old Mong, flipped him on his side and proceeded to use him to buff the cat tracks out of my wax job. I was careful to flip him regularly. when done, Mong had so much wax and static electricity in his fur he looked twice his normal size. Pretty funny. He buffed even better than a soft cloth buff. He never did that again btw.

Posted by: maddogg at December 12, 2013 09:59 AM (xWW96)

94 My poor doggeh deserves a better owner. I'm always leaving him at home while I go off to do fun stuff, like work. It makes him sad. Sad puppeh.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 12, 2013 09:59 AM (yh0zB)

95 NO Justice...NO Fleas!!

And shit.

Posted by: dananjcon at December 12, 2013 10:00 AM (wmU4G)

96 Is it me or does this movie seem like Groundhog Day meets the anime Starship Troopers?

Posted by: Anna Puma

Looks ok. If they used the same team from Oblivion it may be a decent flick.

RE: Groundhog's Day, recursive storyline; It's an old sci-fi trope so I don't see that as a big negative.

Starship Troopers is one franchise in desperate need of a reboot, one not played for laughs.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at December 12, 2013 10:00 AM (B0gqn)

97 Dogs are mans best friend Cats?

Posted by: Thunderb at December 12, 2013 10:00 AM (zOTsN)

98 How bout if you change mi^3 to ft^3 ?

Posted by: eleven at December 12, 2013 10:00 AM (KXm42)

99 Finally -- FINALLY -- a use for 8th-grade math ("pre-algebra" it was called): 55 * 20 * X = 185,000,000,000 --> 1100 * X = 185,000,000,000 --> The hole must be 16,818 million miles deep. Not likely. Pre-algebra FTW! Posted by: zombie at December 12, 2013 01:50 PM (+cx5n)
That is a really, really deep hole.
Also, damn it if that Cruise flick Edge of Tomorrow doesn't look awesome. Damn... I don't want to throw money at anything with Cruise in it, but... >_>

Posted by: Kinley Ardal at December 12, 2013 10:00 AM (kM76g)

100 Once was accused of owning a cat in my first "house", which was in a trailer park. Having a cat was against the rules, which suited me fine until I was accused of owning one because it was seen near my trailer. So, got a live trap, caught the thing, and it was pure feral. Took it to the far side of the next town over and let it go. Next day, a crying neighbor comes asking me if I saw her cat. I said no. She says, she was nursing kittens and now she's gone. Hmm, well, I hope you find her. Thanks.

Posted by: UWP at December 12, 2013 10:01 AM (2hQRj)

101 Duck the Halls: A Robertson Family Christmas sold more copies this week than both Britney SpearsÂ’ latest album Britney Jean and the sinking fast disk from Lady Gaga, ARTPOP.

Posted by: Reggie Love at December 12, 2013 10:01 AM (e8kgV)

102 What about the Siberain Traps? I bet they would ooze out more shit than Yellowstone.

Posted by: Society of Ace's Ex & Current GFs at December 12, 2013 10:02 AM (h4eud)

103 Can a cat be trained to fetch beer from the fridge?

No?

Case closed.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 12, 2013 10:02 AM (SY2Kh)

104 Trolling for cat and dog lovers. OK traffic is traffic. Ace did you see the story on Ed Schultz getting $177K from unions. MSNBC now with paid propagandist. Wouldn't you think SOMEONE at NBC has some ethics? O'R should have fun with this.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 12, 2013 10:02 AM (0FSuD)

105 67 They are talking out their ass because there is no unit of measure that comes up with volumes anywhere close to those numbers. They're either way under or way over.

Posted by: Beto at December 12, 2013 10:02 AM (MhA4j)

106 Also, having to keep an open container of poop in your house.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 12, 2013 01:58 PM (SY2Kh)

How could I forget that. Big bonus, having your house smell like an animals lair. My house smelled like fresh paint and new carpet when I moved in, then Daughter moved in with us and brought a cat (and other daughter gave doggeh to wife for Christmas), and that was the beginning of the end for the new house smell.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 12, 2013 10:02 AM (yh0zB)

107

I'm betting the new Keanu Reeves kung fu movie will be a hit. Make fun all you want about his acting but the boy knows how to pick a script.

The only movie of his I did not enjoy was The Day The Earth Stood Still.

Posted by: polynikes at December 12, 2013 10:03 AM (m2CN7)

108 Just the way God wanted it. Forcing dogs to subjugate their natural instinct is commie liberal propaganda. It's been left to the Free Coyote Army to keep the faith. Infiltrating the coddled suburbs to restore the natural order. Posted by: RoyalOil at December 12, 2013 01:57 PM (VjL9S)
I would put forth that the current state of nature where creatures rip each other apart at every given opportunity is very far from what God intended.

Posted by: Kinley Ardal at December 12, 2013 10:03 AM (kM76g)

109 The hole must be 16,818 million miles deep should have been The hole must be 16.818 million miles deep I spent too much time paying attention in math class and not enough time paying attention in English class -- too many typos!

Posted by: zombie at December 12, 2013 10:03 AM (+cx5n)

110 They're either way under or way over.

I'm thinking unit fail.

Posted by: eleven at December 12, 2013 10:03 AM (KXm42)

111 My dog laughs at the kitty who thinks she way tougher than she actually is. The dog is like a honey badger; she doesn't give a shit. If I ever catch it on video, I'll submit one of their confrontation for the sidebar.

Posted by: flailing at December 12, 2013 10:03 AM (inQJB)

112 99 It's hundreds of trillions 259,049,802,714,982

Posted by: Beto at December 12, 2013 10:04 AM (MhA4j)

113 My poor doggeh deserves a better owner. I'm always leaving him at home while I go off to do fun stuff, like work. It makes him sad. Sad puppeh.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 12, 2013 01:59 PM (yh0zB)

Puppeh would be even sadder if he was left in a shelter all day every day.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 12, 2013 10:04 AM (zF6Iw)

114 Dogs provide security, sniff bombs, sniff drugs, are seeing eyes, can sense seizures, and provide therapy. Dogs are mans partner. Cats are his pet

Posted by: Thunderb at December 12, 2013 10:04 AM (zOTsN)

115 Duck the Halls: A Robertson Family Christmas sold more copies this week than both Britney SpearsÂ’ latest album Britney Jean and the sinking fast disk from Lady Gaga, ARTPOP.

Posted by: Reggie Love at December 12, 2013 02:01 PM (e8kgV)

The best marketing product from Duck Dynasty , because it made the product displayable because of the humor, is the chia pet.

growing bearded duck dynasty guys is the nuts.

Posted by: polynikes at December 12, 2013 10:05 AM (m2CN7)

116 He buffed even better than a soft cloth buff. He never did that again btw.

Posted by: maddogg at December 12, 2013 01:59 PM (xWW96)

I will say this, the fat bastard (Daughter's cat was banned from the house when I caught his fat ass pissing on my pillow, the only reason he's not fertilizer now is Daughter) knows better than to pull that shit while I'm close enough to grab him.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 12, 2013 10:06 AM (yh0zB)

117 Some of you are really shitty human beings.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at December 12, 2013 10:06 AM (ZKzrr)

118 My poor doggeh deserves a better owner. I'm always leaving him at home while I go off to do fun stuff, like work. It makes him sad. Sad puppeh. Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 12, 2013 01:59 PM (yh0zB) Why not invest in a canine friend for him?

Posted by: Society of Ace's Ex & Current GFs at December 12, 2013 10:06 AM (h4eud)

119 I'm kidding about cats. I like cats. But I love dogs

Posted by: Thunderb at December 12, 2013 10:07 AM (zOTsN)

120 I went to our new Bass Pro Shop last night. There were about a half dozen guys on the duck dept continuously blowing duck and goose calls. I don't believe there is a sound in the world that will drive a woman to violence faster than that.

Posted by: maddogg at December 12, 2013 10:07 AM (xWW96)

121 118 Some of you are really shitty human beings.

Yeah it's one thing to joke around but some of these comments are serious.

::shakehead::

Posted by: eleven at December 12, 2013 10:08 AM (KXm42)

122 My son picked out our dog. I told him to get there early, but he slept in and by the time he arrived all the smart dogs were taken. So we ended up with our Alaskan Malamute. If Timmy falls down the well, he's going to be shit out of luck.

Posted by: jwest at December 12, 2013 10:08 AM (u2a4R)

123 No more trash talk of cats. And dogs killing cats sucks, too. Big time.

Posted by: Dr. Jesse Pinkman at December 12, 2013 10:08 AM (h4eud)

124 121 I went to our new Bass Pro Shop last night. There were about a half dozen guys on the duck dept continuously blowing duck and goose calls. I don't believe there is a sound in the world that will drive a woman to violence faster than that. --- Catcalls from fat construction workers?

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at December 12, 2013 10:08 AM (/Crba)

125 If Timmy falls down the well, he's going to be shit out of luck.

hah..

Posted by: eleven at December 12, 2013 10:10 AM (KXm42)

126 They are talking out their ass because there is no unit of measure that comes up with volumes anywhere close to those numbers. They're either way under or way over.

If you convert to cubic feet the math works if you assume a depth of about 6 feet.

(55mi X 5280ft/mi) X (20mi X 5280ft/mi) X 6ft = 183997440000 cubic feet

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 12, 2013 10:11 AM (SY2Kh)

127 He buffed even better than a soft cloth buff. He never did that again btw.

Posted by: maddogg at December 12, 2013 01:59 PM (xWW96)

This poor dog is pathetic. He was wifes doggeh (see post 107) and he still misses her terribly after almost 4 years, whenever we go for a walk in the morning he goes to the end of the driveway and looks down the road to see if he can see her car coming in. The kids tell me whenever I leave he lays on the couch and mopes. But he's always glad to see me when I get home.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 12, 2013 10:11 AM (yh0zB)

128 128 = paste fail, should have been in response to 114.

Why not invest in a canine friend for him?

Posted by: Society of Ace's Ex & Current GFs at December 12, 2013 02:06 PM (h4eud)

Mostly because I don't have enough time to spend on one doggeh, much less two. I leave him at home because I can't take him in when I go places, and I'm always going places.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 12, 2013 10:15 AM (yh0zB)

129 At least if a dog pisses in the house it feels guilty and can learn not to. A cat doing it on things just needs to GTFO. Not saying kill it, just part ways.

Posted by: UWP at December 12, 2013 10:15 AM (2hQRj)

130 No more trash talk of cats. And dogs killing cats sucks, too. Big time.

Posted by: Dr. Jesse Pinkman at December 12, 2013 02:08 PM (h4eud)

I don't want anything bad to happen to the fat bastard (mostly because it would make daughter sad), I just want him to stay off of my car. I'd turn the water hose on him whenever I see him up there, but I have hard water and it leaves spots.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 12, 2013 10:16 AM (yh0zB)

131

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 12, 2013 02:16 PM (yh0zB)

Get a Super Soaker, and fill it with distilled water.

Posted by: maddogg at December 12, 2013 10:18 AM (xWW96)

132 Keanu Reeves can go succor on rotten eggs. His movie is more akin to the anime Samurai 7 than the actual story of the 47 Ronin.

Edge of Tomorrow is an eh for me. Lots of frentic action and CGI and not much else.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 12, 2013 10:20 AM (JdUCt)

133 Get a Super Soaker, and fill it with distilled water.

Posted by: maddogg at December 12, 2013 02:18 PM (xWW96)

The last time I had this conversation the cat people met every suggestion with NOOOOO!!!!! You will (cause some sort of unspecified damage) if you do that!!!

Their answer seemed to be let the cat do what he wants...which kind of ran counter to the whole reason for the conversation in the first place.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 12, 2013 10:21 AM (yh0zB)

134 Well folks, I have lots to do today so I'm off to make puppeh sad again. Later roonz and roonettez, fear no evil.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 12, 2013 10:23 AM (yh0zB)

135 If you convert to cubic feet the math works if you assume a depth of about 6 feet. Posted by: Hollowpoint Cubic feet, cubic miles -- what's the difference? They're both cubic! Stop complaining!

Posted by: zombie at December 12, 2013 10:24 AM (+cx5n)

136 Some of you are really shitty human beings. Posted by: HeatherRadishÂ™ needs a beer at December 12, 2013 02:06 PM (ZKzrr) Hide posts from (ZKzrr) I look upon these threads as an opportinity to expand my Ignore List. Also to spend time doing other things than reading blogs.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at December 12, 2013 10:29 AM (qyfb5)

137 My mom's now deceased dog would have run those cats - all of them - and any that didn't run fast enough would have been mauled. That dog hated cats.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie © at December 12, 2013 10:36 AM (1hM1d)

138 "I would put forth that the current state of nature where creatures rip each other apart at every given opportunity is very far from what God intended."

Posted by: Kinley Ardal at December 12, 2013 02:03 PM (kM76g)

First: So, the Earth is to God as obamacare is to Obama?

Second: Actually, yes, that's exactly what God intended.

As to Obama, interpretations may vary.

Posted by: West at December 12, 2013 10:41 AM (1Rgee)

139 My parrot, a smallish African grey, should be in the first video, You shall not pass. She corners and abuses our 80 lb mutt who just wants to be friends with her. The two of them both hang out in the kitchen together when I cook and try to keep their bodies between me and the range so we're all stepping all over each other. I've had the damn bird for over 25 years and stepped on her countless times, and the other dog in the house bit her once. I think the only thing that'd take her out for sure would be a small nuke.

Posted by: MSLSD primetime pundits at December 12, 2013 11:44 AM (9PXzx)

140 Cats are doing this of their own initiative, if dogs are incapable of self help why should they be bailed out. It's a dog eat dog world out there and if dogs are afraid of cats they should just suck it up.

Posted by: Roy at December 12, 2013 11:44 AM (75fUy)

141 off sock

Posted by: stace at December 12, 2013 11:45 AM (9PXzx)

142 Yea, good idea, chase the cat off the car, you do realize that they extend their claws when you scare the shit out of them right?

Posted by: Jaimo at December 12, 2013 12:02 PM (9U1OG)

143 Yea, good idea, chase the cat off the car, you do realize that they extend their claws when you scare the shit out of them right?

Posted by: Jaimo at December 12, 2013 04:02 PM (9U1OG)

So your answer is let the cat do what he wants? That's very helpful, thank you.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 12, 2013 12:07 PM (yh0zB)

144 No more trash talk of cats. And dogs killing cats sucks, too. Big time.

Thank you for that. I had to have my much-loved 15-year-old tabby put to sleep last weekend (heart failure). She never bullied, scratched, bit, or threw up on anyone-- humans, other kittehs, or dogs. I miss her terribly, and trash talk about cats sure doesn't help with the grief.

Posted by: Basement Cat at December 12, 2013 12:29 PM (53cD3)

145 This is what happens when dogs are emasculated and forced to live with cats. I've got a Husky that used to KILL cats, but now has had to live with 3 different ones and is now a bigger pussy than the cats were.

Posted by: © Sponge at December 12, 2013 12:56 PM (xmcEQ)

146 Embrace the suck, doggehs

- signed Teh Cat

Posted by: NCwoof at December 12, 2013 01:14 PM (aUQgu)

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