December 10, 2013

They've Rebooted Godzilla for Some Strange Reason
— Ace

Yeah, I was actually about to just do my typical "What are these assholes doing?" sort of post but then I watched the trailer.

I like science-fiction and fantasy and adventure thrillers. Or I like these genres, anyway. But I usually do not like movies made in these genres.

They usually are missing something. They're usually missing the main thing I'm paying money for: A sense of wonder. A sense of mystery, and not just mystery, but grand mystery.

So often they are just put together in this format:

Action Teaser
Talking Bullshit (Hero and Heroine don't like each other)
Action Sequence (Minor character is killed under uncertain conditions)
Talking Bullshit (Heroine learns that the Hero is broody and has "depth")
Action Sequence (Fistfight)
Talking Bullshit (Hero and Heroine flirt)
Action Sequence (Chase)
Talking Bullshit (Villian yaps at the Hero and Heroine and tells them his plan)
Action Sequence (Major Firefight with Jets and Bombs and Shit That Glows!!!)
Kissing Bullshit

I'm always wondering to myself: Where, when they were writing the script, did they expect a 10 year old boy (or the 10 year old boy in all of us, including in women) to go, "Wowww...!!!"

The only Wow factor they're offering CGI Cartoon shit happening faster and bigger.

This reminds me of why Metallica stopped playing speed metal. They realized that the competition in speed metal had simply become unidimensional -- it was simply to play things faster, and then faster, and then faster still, and then, when that got boring, to try playing things even faster.

What is the endpoint of that, they wondered? Is that a competition worth winning?

CGI hasn't had the effect of liberating filmmakers' imaginations -- it has had quite the opposite effect. CGI promises, they think, a guaranteed payoff: We'll just make our cartoons bigger, louder, and faster than they were last time, with more pixels and more texture-shading, and there you go. Art has been made.

But Bigger, Louder, Faster is a creative ditch just like speed metal's Faster Faster Faster.

There's a moment in Temple of Doom I love. It's such a throwaway line. It means nothing at all. But it's great.

Indy and Short Round and Willie are traveling by elephant through the jungle on their way to the Pankot Palace. First of all, that's neat right there. It's a very short "Adventure Trek" montage, but who doesn't love the idea of riding an elephant through the jungle?

And then the sky is darkened by a swarm of flying animals, and Willie says, "Look at those big birds...!"

And Indy says, "Those aren't birds, sweetheart. Those are giant vampire bats."

Well, there's no such thing as a giant vampire bat. Vampire bats are tiny. The bats being filmed were actually fruitbats, which are large, but, as their name implies, not vampiric, except with regard to fruit.

But that simple little line, tossed in there, with absolute no plot consequences whatsoever -- "Those are giant vampire bats" -- gave me a little thrill, a little sense of wonder. Maybe there were giant vampire bats and I just hadn't heard of them -- hey, Indy said so, and Indy's a genius.

This little line -- a nothing little line -- and a very cheap-to-film shot of common fruitbats paid off big, at least for me.

That line wasn't made by special effects. The shot cost a thousand dollars; the cost of the writer writing it was about seventy-five cents. It was just a writer wondering, "Hey, what can I put in here that would be surprising and kind of neat?"

I've mentioned before the half-buried skeleton of the immensely large, unidentified alien animal seen in the beginning of the Tatooine Trek of Star Wars. Again, not terribly expensive. And yet just seeing that huge skeleton provoked me, as a kid, to wonder what the hell the complete creature looked like.

There just doesn't seem much room in movies any more for the viewer's imagination. Your imagination isn't wanted, needed, or even usable -- everything is an obvious as a shotgun to the face, and everything is Louder and Faster and Also Louder, because, God forbid that a movie might have the confidence to play a scene quietly and let you think about what you're seeing.

Anyway, I'm sure Godzilla is awful, like every other piece of crap that Hollywood makes. But that trailer gives me some hope-- I was expecting that HALO dive to be the typical Been There Done That crap, but instead there's this incredible cloud-scape and red signal-smoke dripping down like blood and ominous music (which reminded me of the music that announced the Monolith in 2001) and just little openings which allowed my imagination in and allowed me to ask, "What's this about? What's going on here?"

They seem to be presenting Godzilla as a mystery, as a frightening primal force provoking dread and wonder, rather than as an opportunity for One-Liners and Toyshop Tie-Ins, as they did in the last film.

I don't know if that will work. There are some ideas too silly to give the Sense of Awe treatment to, and a giant mutant radiation-breathing T-Rex on the loose in NY San Francisco seems to be one of them. (I think it's San Francisco -- there's a triangular building in the skyline, and I think the metro sign says "BART.")

And I don't care about Godzilla at all. I'm not a child. I don't care about giant monsters knocking about cities. I've seen this before.

In the last ten years, I've seen this kind of thing about 35 times now.

But what I am interested in -- and I'm slightly hopeful for this movie, based upon the trailer -- is that at least one more movie might possibly make me say "Gee whiz" or even "Wow" one more time in my life.

At least someone is thinking. That's a good thing.



Posted by: Ace at 01:47 PM | Comments (282)
Post contains 1001 words, total size 6 kb.

1 I thought Fox had passed on my bio-pic

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at December 10, 2013 01:50 PM (Pr6hk)

2 So. Wait for it on Netflix?

Posted by: rickb223 at December 10, 2013 01:50 PM (lUXJH)

3 Oh no They say he's got to go Go go Godzilla Oh no There goes Tokyo Go go Godzilla

Posted by: Blue Oyster Cult at December 10, 2013 01:51 PM (/Crba)

4 Haven't they rebooted Godzilla a couple of times?

Posted by: toby928 of the banned at December 10, 2013 01:53 PM (evdj2)

5 Just so long as it's actually Godzilla. Been down this road once too often lately, and not just with Gojira-sama...

Posted by: Brother Cavil at December 10, 2013 01:53 PM (naUcP)

6 Yes, I was surprised that I watched it twice. And Brian Cranston and Juliette Binoche are in it and apparently they are a couple in this and they look like they are taking the'r roles seriously (!) And wow, dropping through the clouds like that...

Posted by: Eton Cox at December 10, 2013 01:53 PM (q177U)

7 Godzilla steps on a bar. 

Posted by: polynikes at December 10, 2013 01:54 PM (m2CN7)

8 "Giant Robot, Shoot that MFckng Lizard" - Little japanese boy with radio watch

Posted by: The Jackhole at December 10, 2013 01:54 PM (nTgAI)

9 I've gotta say, Brian Dennehy was very convincing as the C-141.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 10, 2013 01:55 PM (8ZskC)

10 I'll see it since Brian Denehy is playing Godzilla

Posted by: WalrusRex at December 10, 2013 01:55 PM (XUKZU)

11 Anyway, I'm sure Godzilla is awful, like every other piece of crap that Hollywood makes. But that trailer gives me some hope-- I was expecting that HALO dive to be the typical Been There Done That crap, but instead there's this incredible cloud-scape and red signal-smoke dripping down like blood and ominous music (which reminded me of the music that announced the Monolith in 2001) and just little openings which allowed my imagination in and allowed me to ask, "What's this about? What's going on here?" They seem to be presenting Godzilla as a mystery, as a frightening primal force provoking dread and wonder, rather than as an opportunity for One-Liners and Toyshop Tie-Ins, as they did in the last film. Yeah, I've already lost my mind over this so I think my position is firmly established. Not only is it a HALO drop, which is something I watch with jaw dropping wonder in the first place because holy shit human being actually do that, the visual with the flares is fantastic. And it sure as hell appears that they are HALO dropping directly onto Godzilla himself. Duuuuuuuuuuuude. Taking seriously what would happen if Godzilla attacks may work and may not but, hey, it's worth a try. Look, I thought the conceit of Cloverfield was interesting particularly when you watched a group of specific people react to a specific death in the middle of the stompy. That and Marlena's flat "It was eating people" was chilling. Then, of course, it all went to hell. But still. Taking stompy stompy death seriously is at least worth a shot. Plus I like that they're teasing Godzilla. Sure, you can't see much but you can see something and for the first trailer, that's a Big Deal. *puts it on repeat*

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra taunting. at December 10, 2013 01:55 PM (VtjlW)

12 Godzirra ?

Posted by: The Jackhole at December 10, 2013 01:55 PM (nTgAI)

13 A good movie is one that is eye popping, heart breaking, and mind blowing.

Posted by: WalrusRex at December 10, 2013 01:56 PM (XUKZU)

14 Why don't they remake Mothra? Big flapping wings, huge coccoons, sexy little clam shell girls that wear sarongs, dance and sing. It would be a hit!

Posted by: Dr. Jesse Pinkman at December 10, 2013 01:56 PM (h4eud)

15 I'll see it. But I watch all the sci-fi crap. Cause I like sci-fi, even when it's crap. Good trailer. Yeah, the VFX industry finally figured out how to make giant monsters look believable a couple years ago ... so now we're getting lots of giant monsters. It's like when the VFX industry figured out how to make black smoke look real. Every movie started to have lots of think black smoke.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 10, 2013 01:56 PM (ZPrif)

16 What size reboots does Godzilla wear? 94EEEEEEE?

Posted by: zombie at December 10, 2013 01:56 PM (+cx5n)

17 I hope they reboot Batman or King Kong. Or maybe Titanic. What's it been... like five years since the last ones?

Meh. Hollywood. I'd rather rearrange sock drawers.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at December 10, 2013 01:57 PM (eHIJJ)

18 If you crawled onto Godzilla's back, would you be safe? He's got those short arms.

Posted by: toby928 of the banned at December 10, 2013 01:57 PM (evdj2)

19 Godzilla always makes this big ass honking noise. But do any reptiles make noises?

Posted by: Dr. Jesse Pinkman at December 10, 2013 01:57 PM (h4eud)

20 No giant Mothra?

Posted by: dantesed at December 10, 2013 01:58 PM (PWf1E)

21 13 Godzirra ? Posted by: The Jackhole Actually, it's "Gojira" in the original Japanese. "Godzilla is a made-up anglicization that is unused and unknown in Japan (except as an example of American kitsch).

Posted by: zombie at December 10, 2013 01:58 PM (+cx5n)

22 Still waiting for the dark and gritty reboot of Apache Chief.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 10, 2013 01:58 PM (ZPrif)

23 How about a series about a parrot and his life in a bar? Seems there's a lot of raw content out there just waiting to be tapped.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at December 10, 2013 01:59 PM (eHIJJ)

24 Didn't they make a remake of The Incredible Mister Limpet recently?

Posted by: toby928 of the banned at December 10, 2013 01:59 PM (evdj2)

25 BOC Go Go Godzilla

Posted by: Killerdog at December 10, 2013 02:00 PM (rc6Yw)

26 Paul Ryan bringing the pain.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 10, 2013 02:00 PM (ZPrif)

27 Yea the flares looked great but they're airshow stuff.  I immediately WTF would you do that for on a combat drop, and WTF would a couple of parachutists add to a kaiju fight.

They seem to be presenting Godzilla as a mystery, as a frightening primal force provoking dread

Godzilla is an unnatural disaster he only looks like a giant iguana.

Posted by: DaveA[/i][/b][/s] at December 10, 2013 02:00 PM (DL2i+)

28 I forgot how good Son of Godzilla was. http://goo.gl/Wv9ulM I remember it as a real tearjerker.

Posted by: Dr. Jesse Pinkman at December 10, 2013 02:00 PM (h4eud)

29 They seem to be presenting Godzilla as a mystery, as a frightening primal force provoking dread and wonder, rather than as an opportunity for One-Liners and Toyshop Tie-Ins, as they did in the last film. Considering that the original Gojira was supposedly an anti-nuclear statement (radiation will create monsters), I have little doubt this will turn into yet another eco-fantast, just as the new "Noah" supposedly is.

Posted by: zombie at December 10, 2013 02:00 PM (+cx5n)

30 Some of that sound sounded totally stolen from 2001, no?

Posted by: @ParisParamus at December 10, 2013 02:01 PM (Gcm3A)

31  Godzirra ?
Posted by: The Jackhole

Actually, it's "Gojira" in the original Japanese. "Godzilla is a made-up anglicization that is unused and unknown in Japan (except as an example of American kitsch).

Posted by: zombie at December 10, 2013 05:58 PM (+cx5n)

 

Thanks that makes sense. Japanese people can't say Godzilla

Posted by: The Jackhole at December 10, 2013 02:01 PM (nTgAI)

32 Great trailer. Does the JAWS thing of showing the damage and the terror but keeping the monster illusive almost to the point of invisibility. Get those ids shooting off in all direction.

Posted by: Lincolntf at December 10, 2013 02:01 PM (ZshNr)

33 I'll see it. But I watch all the sci-fi crap. Cause I like sci-fi, even when it's crap. Good trailer. Yeah, the VFX industry finally figured out how to make giant monsters look believable a couple years ago ... so now we're getting lots of giant monsters. It's like when the VFX industry figured out how to make black smoke look real. Every movie started to have lots of think black smoke. Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 10, 2013 05:56 PM (ZPrif) *fistbump* Remember, the director of the current Godzilla got the job because he made Monsters for, what, $1.99? I have tons of issues with Monsters but the effects are not one of them. Hell, look at the horrible hot mess that is Skyline. You could teach an entire semester in film school on the problems of that movie but the effects are not one of them. Ten million dollar budget. FX done in a living room. Shit, now I want to watch F/X.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra taunting. at December 10, 2013 02:01 PM (VtjlW)

34 And I don't care about Godzilla at all. I'm not a child. I don't care about giant monsters knocking about cities. I've seen this before.


What about smart monkeys from the future? Do you like them?

Posted by: Pierre Boulle at December 10, 2013 02:01 PM (8ZskC)

35 Must not . . make joke . . . about appropriate role  . . . for First Lady.

Posted by: WalrusRex at December 10, 2013 02:01 PM (XUKZU)

36 In this version, which will the existence of Godzilla be the result of:

1.  An experiment by the Military Industrial Complex gone wrong.

2.  Pollution by the Big Evil Corporation.

3.  Global Warming.

4.  All of the above.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 10, 2013 02:01 PM (SY2Kh)

37 Bipartisan Anal Raping Act of 2013 set to begin.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 10, 2013 02:01 PM (ZPrif)

38 I guess ace loved Cloverfield.

Posted by: Dr Spank at December 10, 2013 02:02 PM (xlX1p)

39 Looks  like a fairly accurate representation of Mooshilla after the boy king's antics today.

Posted by: Havedash at December 10, 2013 02:02 PM (ToMJU)

40 Flatbush Joe: "Paul Ryan bringing the pain."

Unexpectedly.

Good to see the smart, economically literate branch of the GOP just start sawing away at its platform with such reckless abandon.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at December 10, 2013 02:02 PM (eHIJJ)

41
That line wasn't made by special effects. The shot cost a thousand dollars; the cost of the writer writing it was about seventy-five cents. It was just a writer wondering, "Hey, what can I put in here that would be surprising and kind of neat?"









I suspect the shot cost Spielberg and Lucas less than that. As I recall, it's a bit of stock footage from Bridge on the River Kwai.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 10, 2013 02:02 PM (TIIx5)

42  Didn't they make a remake of The Incredible Mister Limpet recently?

Posted by: toby928 of the banned at December 10, 2013 05:59 PM (evdj2)

 

No, but I am sure the Apple Dumpling gang starring Will Farrel is on the way.

Posted by: The Jackhole at December 10, 2013 02:02 PM (nTgAI)

43 But do any reptiles make noises? My Bearded Dragon made a quick breathy "hhe" sound sometimes. I've heard Iguanas make a hiss sound.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b] at December 10, 2013 02:02 PM (sByIH)

44 Didn't they make a remake of The Incredible Mister Limpet recently?


That's crying out for a pr0n adaptation.  That's where you find out what was so incredible.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 10, 2013 02:03 PM (8ZskC)

45 Where is Gamera? He is a friend to children

Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at December 10, 2013 02:03 PM (WdbF7)

46 Oh, I didn't know it was the Monsters guy. Yeah, that was impressive. Makes sense to hire him.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 10, 2013 02:03 PM (ZPrif)

47 Godzilla ain't got shit on us.

(we've got a deal, folks)

Posted by: Paul Ryan and Patti Murray at December 10, 2013 02:03 PM (uakI+)

48 This re-boot of Godzilla is directed by Gareth Edwards, the writer and director of Monsters (currently on Netflix streaming).

Monsters is pretty much everything Ace mentioned he wanted in sci-fi. Tension, a sense of wonder, not using CGI in place of story. It's really good, and gives a good idea of what he's going to do with Godzilla.

Posted by: DarkFlounder at December 10, 2013 02:04 PM (b6TD9)

49 *searches for ace's address*

Posted by: Godzilla at December 10, 2013 02:04 PM (1Y+hH)

50 >>Where is Gamera? He is a friend to children hahaha. I hated Gamera for that reason. When I first saw him, I sorta dug him. But I hated stuff "for kids" even when I was a kid. And Gamera was so CUTE and crap. Did not like Gamera. Always thought it was a gyp when I put on a giant rubber suit monster movie and then I'd see that stupid flying turtle shell.

Posted by: ace at December 10, 2013 02:04 PM (/FnUH)

51 The opening music is the same as in 2001: A Space Odyssey.  Ligetti.  Lets hope they got permission unlike Kubrick who adapted the music and got sued.

Nice visual contrast the red smoke strapped to each of their legs against all the grays.  And the POV through goggles to see the spines.  Nice.  Though with Godzilla hunched over like that, my fears of the tuna eating lizard from the Broderick are not allayed.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 10, 2013 02:04 PM (27gH7)

52 Your imagination isn’t wanted, needed, or even usable—everything is an obvious as a shotgun to the face, and everything is Louder and Faster and Also Louder, because, God forbid that a movie might have the confidence to play a scene quietly and let you think about what you’re seeing. Yep. I remember listening to the audio commentary on UHF, and when they got to the alien reveal at the end they told us that they’d originally planned for it to happen in the background, but it was so amazing that they had to do a close-up on it. And I remember thinking, you doofus, having it just be there in the background would have been so cool!

Posted by: Paid for by Citizens for Clyde the Orangutan at December 10, 2013 02:04 PM (QF8uk)

53 From the official synopsis: "Sci-Fi Action Adventure. An epic rebirth to TohoÂ’s iconic Godzilla, this spectacular adventure pits the worldÂ’s most famous monster against malevolent creatures who, bolstered by humanityÂ’s scientific arrogance, threaten our very existence." So yeah, Godzilla is going to be fucking fighting mother fucking monsters and shit!

Posted by: Eton Cox at December 10, 2013 02:05 PM (q177U)

54 Gee Whiz and Wow are indicators of emotions from our inner child, and the arc of moviemaking has been moving away from that for a long time.

I would say that LOTR was the last movie that made me forget that I was an adult, and allowed me to immerse myself in an imaginary world, if only for a moment or two.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 10, 2013 02:05 PM (oJ5Fd)

55 Turtles definitely hiss and do a coughing kind of bark.

Posted by: Lincolntf at December 10, 2013 02:05 PM (ZshNr)

56 I was always a big fan of, what was his name? "Gidhira" King Gidhira? The three-headed dragon monster. Liked him. He had Star Power, baby.

Posted by: ace at December 10, 2013 02:05 PM (/FnUH)

57 Impressive for the Monsters director to go from a single indie flick to giant blockbuster for his 2nd movie.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 10, 2013 02:05 PM (ZPrif)

58 I'm waiting for the dark and gritty reboot of Godzookie!

Posted by: Franch Dressing at December 10, 2013 02:06 PM (ZPrif)

59 They really ought to remake every single movie Arnold ever made. But this time use an actor to play his part. Commando. Predator. Running Man. All the good stories wasted on that idiot Arnold..

Posted by: soothsayer at December 10, 2013 02:06 PM (mZGNr)

60 Though with Godzilla hunched over like that, my fears of the tuna eating lizard from the Broderick are not allayed. What about where the military could track that Godzilla when it was convenient to the plot, then suddenly he jumps in the river and *bzzt*, no more tracking.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b] at December 10, 2013 02:06 PM (sByIH)

61 Best part: leveling fucking San Francisco. We can all imagine that Pelosi's hosting a big meeting of Dem donors and journalists when Big G decides he wants some fugu.

Posted by: Trimegistus at December 10, 2013 02:07 PM (5nb1M)

62 Damn it, left out again.

Posted by: Mothra at December 10, 2013 02:07 PM (1Y+hH)

63 We've got to produce the movie before we know what's in it.

Posted by: Director Pelosi at December 10, 2013 02:07 PM (rn0EN)

64 Godzilla's a problem from the screenwriting position. In the first one, he's the antagonist who must be defeated by the protag humans.

The next iterations tried to make him an indifferent protagonist who doesn't really give a shit about the humans and only eventually solves the problem after destroying the area. and being attacked.

It's just not a recipe for this thing we in the West call a 'plot.'

Pacific Rim tried to square things by using Robo-godzillas to scale the humans up to the size of the threatening monsters and still failed miserably to be interesting. It was a boring hack job of a live action cartoon.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at December 10, 2013 02:07 PM (B0gqn)

65 They already did Total Recall and it sucked.

Posted by: Franch Dressing at December 10, 2013 02:07 PM (ZPrif)

66 Total Recall and Conan are already done, I know.

Posted by: soothsayer at December 10, 2013 02:07 PM (mZGNr)

67 Someone said the Dems have wrecked more cities than Godzilla.

Posted by: redenzo at December 10, 2013 02:08 PM (SV01K)

68 62 Best part: leveling fucking San Francisco. We can all imagine that Pelosi's hosting a big meeting of Dem donors and journalists when Big G decides he wants some fugu. --- De-fugu-licious!

Posted by: Homer J Gojira at December 10, 2013 02:08 PM (/Crba)

69 >>>he opening music is the same as in 2001: A Space Odyssey. Ligetti. Lets hope they got permission unlike Kubrick who adapted the music and got sued. yeah they do. It's common practice to license pre-existing scores from older movies in new trailers. Music for the new movies has not been written or produced at the time of the trailer. if you remember -- maybe you're too young -- but after that metronome-ticking soundtrack to Oliver Stone's JFK made an impression on audiences, it was used as the Trailer music for a dozen thriller/conspiracy movies in the ensuing three years. Basically the trailer makers are capitalizing on an audience's already built-in reaction to a piece of music. So they've already got me to think Mystical Monolith for the 2001 music, now they just free-ride on those already-existing associations for the Godzilla trailer.

Posted by: ace at December 10, 2013 02:08 PM (/FnUH)

70 everything is Louder and Faster and Also Louder, because, God forbid that a movie might have the confidence to play a scene quietly and let you think about what you're seeing. I bought a sound bar, with sub-woofer recently. Through Amazon/AoS link (you're welcome, the least I can do for my favorite writer). I can't really adjust the intensity of the sub, but it gives me (because of it's predominance) an inclination of the effect the producers want. And I want to tear the thing off the floor and toss it through the window when I hear the same accelerated heart beat sound, over and over again during scenes.

Posted by: resident of pennsylvania at December 10, 2013 02:08 PM (HFPlm)

71 []Considering that the original Gojira was supposedly an anti-nuclear statement (radiation will create monsters) I thought it originated as a grandfather's explanation of why the cities of Japan were in ruins circa 1948 or so. Gojira is the USAAF, which is why in later versions he is the protector of Japan.

Posted by: Grey Fox at December 10, 2013 02:08 PM (WDyLe)

72 Then Godzilla says, you guys didn't come down here for the hunting, did you?

Posted by: Disembodied Punchlines at December 10, 2013 02:08 PM (8ZskC)

73 Your imagination isn’t wanted, needed, or even usable—everything is an obvious as a shotgun to the face, and everything is Louder and Faster and Also Louder, because, God forbid that a movie might have the confidence to play a scene quietly and let you think about what you’re seeing.
-
This sounds a lot like Vic complaining that television took all the mystery out of radio dramas.

Posted by: WalrusRex at December 10, 2013 02:09 PM (XUKZU)

74
Hell, look at the horrible hot mess that is Skyline. You could teach an entire semester in film school on the problems of that movie but the effects are not one of them. Ten million dollar budget. FX done in a living room.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra taunting. at December 10, 2013 06:01 PM (VtjlW)










Effects dollars go a LONG ways when your company is also doing effects for Battle: Los Angeles and you charge costs for your little independent film to the big film's account.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 10, 2013 02:09 PM (TIIx5)

75 scientific arrogance Defined as "the amount of science I know about and accept today isn't arrogant, but any more and we're playing God". Kind of like how the Amish accept the modern 1840s, but any more than that is TOO MUCH! I notice they don't want to go back to the lovely 700s.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b] at December 10, 2013 02:09 PM (sByIH)

76 Perfect opportunity for Hollywood, they could have had Godzilla sleeping under the sea near Japan, dosed with radiation from Fukushima, and coming out with mutations and shit, really kicking some ass! Fooking unimaginative Hollywooders.

Posted by: Meremortal, writing scripts at December 10, 2013 02:09 PM (1Y+hH)

77 If you crawled onto Godzilla's back, would you be safe? He's got those short arms. You donÂ’t want to find out how Godzillas have sex.

Posted by: Paid for by Citizens for Clyde the Orangutan at December 10, 2013 02:09 PM (QF8uk)

78

Oh noes Godzilla, don't destroy San Francisco!  Anything but that!

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at December 10, 2013 02:09 PM (kdS6q)

79 Ace just wrote a review on a 2.5 minute trailer didn't he. there were more words in that than in the trailer .

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) No Really! at December 10, 2013 02:09 PM (GaqMa)

80 I like the idea of Godzilla rumbling with the other mobsters.He's not doing it to save humanity( well,he was in some of the kiddier 70's ones) ,he just is kicking ass because he is the biggest baddest monster.If he happens to help out humanity somehow so be it.

Posted by: steevy at December 10, 2013 02:10 PM (zqvg6)

81 Ghidorrah or King Ghidorrah.  Allegory for the PRC.

Even he has been rebooted from the original version in the movie with Nick Adams where he was an outer space import.  Then there was the time travel Gojira movie where these rebels from the future tried to prevent the creation of Gojira and the rise of a powerful Japan.  To do this they traveled back to WWII and kidnapped a proto-Gojira, a T. Rex who had just eaten some US soldiers.  Instead left these three artificial cute flying critters called Drats that after the atomic bomb fuse to become you guess it - King Ghiddorah.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 10, 2013 02:10 PM (27gH7)

82 Last Days on Mars trailer : http://tinyurl.com/l2drvrr

Posted by: Dr Spank at December 10, 2013 02:10 PM (xlX1p)

83 ". They realized that the competition in speed metal had simply become unidimensional -- it was simply to play things faster, and then faster, and then faster still, and then, when that got boring, to try playing things even faster." Fuck you. Vote Santorum.

Posted by: Dave Mustaine at December 10, 2013 02:10 PM (hFL/3)

84 Someone said the Dems have wrecked more cities than Godzilla. They levelled Detroit, that's for sure!

Posted by: rickb223 at December 10, 2013 02:10 PM (lUXJH)

85 Shorter Ace: I have seen the future and it sucks.

Posted by: WalrusRex at December 10, 2013 02:10 PM (XUKZU)

86

I remember when my big brother and I saw the first Godzilla movie. It was on the late Friday night Sammy Terry show (with Sammy Terry being the local weatherman who put on ghoul makeup and doubled as the horror movie host) on one of the most brokedown One Moment Please TV stations in the Midwest. To make the movie marketable for Americans, the producers spliced in scenes with Raymond Burr so that the hero would be identifiable for western audiences. Why anyone thought we would identify with Raymond Burr as the hero is anybody's guess.

 

Anyway, Raymond Burr wasn't the hero. Godzilla was the hero. My brother and I were enthralled. The way he rampaged through downtown Tokyo was epic. And his foghorn-like roar? Awesomeness personified.

 

Needless to say, the reboot several years ago stomped all over my childhood memories. I mean, come on: Matthew Broderick? Give me Raymond Burr any day. At least Raymond Burr didn't marry a woman who looks like a horse.

Posted by: troyriser at December 10, 2013 02:10 PM (V9ol4)

87 if i filmed my junk you would probably say gee whiz or wow, if only at its sheer lack of girth

Posted by: dillhole12 at December 10, 2013 02:10 PM (uURnG)

88 The music during the jump scene is by György Ligeti, Requiem for Soprano, Mezzo-Soprano, 2 Mixed Choirs and Orchestra. It also appeared in 2001: A Space Odyssey. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6z2mf0kjEP8

Posted by: Lickmuffin at December 10, 2013 02:11 PM (oMNfV)

89 Using Atmospheres after Kubrick (if that is what it is) or ripping it off is not a good sign. I will reserve judgement due to Cranston, and it looks like that Olsen chick is in it. Also, I did not see Spielberg or Bay on the screen, but maybe I wasn't paying attention.

Posted by: Underground Vulgarian at December 10, 2013 02:11 PM (KNsty)

90 >>> It's just not a recipe for this thing we in the West call a 'plot.' I'm not sure if it's about the plot, per se. I think the problem is that the most interesting character in the script, and the one who is best able to resolve the plot, should be the main character and point of view character. Obviously that can't happen in a Godzilla movie. (I hope-- because I'd really hate to hear Godzilla saying he's just three weeks from retirement, or pining moodily about his dead wife.) So the human characters carry the Point of View duty, but they're not really in a position to affect much of anything. It's like doing an action movie where your point of view movie is a child who is just witnessing the action. >>>Pacific Rim tried to square things by using Robo-godzillas to scale the humans up to the size of the threatening monsters and still failed miserably to be interesting. It was a boring hack job of a live action cartoon. yeah it sucked. I did like how colorful the cities were though.

Posted by: ace at December 10, 2013 02:11 PM (/FnUH)

91 They should reinvent Godzilla, this time as human-size.

Posted by: soothsayer at December 10, 2013 02:11 PM (mZGNr)

92 82 Yeah,I love the conceit of that one,Japan becomes the most powerful country in the world,round eyes must stop them!That was before the lost decade put paid to that talk.

Posted by: steevy at December 10, 2013 02:11 PM (zqvg6)

93 Talking about the sensawunda, and how people have forgotten in film a lot of what they knew in their bones. Remember in 1978, Star Wars expectations and fandom weren't about Luke. Speculations weren't about Jedi shit - going into the reveals of TESB, people weren't thinking, "Oh, jedi jedi jedi Luke Luke..." They were thinking, "What's up with Han Solo? Where do hardbitten smugglers go after blowing up the Death Star?" They didn't give a rats ass if Luke Skywalker was going to be a main character - hell, at the time, I remember lots of speculation about how they'd kill the little wussy off to clear the decks for Han. When Luke got his face torn off in the snow, the roar of approval was deafening in the theatre. Star Wars wasn't about some doofus with a laser sword, his dad, his sister/girlfriend, or some dead dork from the sticks. It was about where Han Solo was headed to take the heat off. It was about a galaxy of a hundred thousand star systems all with stories and hidey-holes, gunfights and adventures. But all we got was Jedi jedi jedi so all we see are lens flares, fast cuts, and bullshit camera angles. Here's hoping someone remembers that Han was the hero of Star Wars.

Posted by: Inspector Cussword at December 10, 2013 02:11 PM (bB1P0)

94 That trailer has certainly piqued my sense of wonder. I am wondering if the beast is a result of global warmenization, Evil Corp. inc., Bush, or some combination of the three.

Posted by: HafkokJack at December 10, 2013 02:11 PM (OAJng)

95 I saw this earlier and was more thrilled than you, Ace. There seemed to be an indication in the trailer that this harks back to the original "Godzilla" (the Japanese version - not the Raymond Burr one). That Godzilla was one grim muthafuarker. And the quick cut of the Japanese(?) scientist(?) in the radiation suit gave me hope that we might see the heroic sacrifice from the first movie that has a guy that has everything to live for to kill Godzilla and save his country. That long slow scene of Godzilla dissolving, the scientist dying, his fiancé crying, and the slow, majestic funeral music version of the Godzilla theme - what a great scene. As a boy, I cried at that scene while watching it on TV struck by a sense of grand tragedy that I'd never experienced before. The hero's ultimate sacrifice, destroyed by his own weapon in order to destroy the beast. And Godzilla, the beast, so magnificent yet he had to die. But dissolved as he slept? Such a terrible end. It is one of my strongest movie memories. I know...I know....I'm not a kid anymore but i hope this movie brings real emotion and a sense of the tragic world and not just another jokefest, where the only stakes are who will get off the snappiest one liner.

Posted by: naturalfake at December 10, 2013 02:12 PM (0cMkb)

96 Which will the hero be?

1.  The outcast scientist / professor who tried to warn us, but we just wouldn't listen.

2.  The young reporter who bucks her editor because she just knows there's a story there and manages to uncover The Truth.

3.  The persecuted whistleblower.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 10, 2013 02:12 PM (SY2Kh)

97


They tried it with Cloverfield, which I actually liked, it was a very dread-inducing movie.

And all the web stuff before the movie came out was pretty cool too, the Lost tie-ins and all that.


Posted by: Rev Dr E Buzz Bunnies at December 10, 2013 02:12 PM (xggaJ)

98 Ace.

Stanley Kubrick took Ligetti's musical composition.  He did not merely use it.  He altered Ligetti's work for the movie without permission.  So he got sued.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 10, 2013 02:12 PM (27gH7)

99 That summary sounds like Godzilla is a good guy here. Like the humans think he's bad at first but realize he's actually there to save the humans from Mothra or something. So the humans learn to partner with Godzilla somehow.

Posted by: Franch Dressing at December 10, 2013 02:12 PM (ZPrif)

100 86 Shorter Ace: I have seen the future and it sucks. --- Give me back the Berlin Wall Give me Stalin and St. Paul Give me Christ Or give me Hiroshima

Posted by: Leonard Cohen at December 10, 2013 02:13 PM (/Crba)

101 You took a very long time to explain why I don't bother going to the movies anymore.  Thanks.

Posted by: dfbaskwill at December 10, 2013 02:13 PM (ndlFj)

102 84 Yeah,the speed metal bit bothered me.(Slayer fan).SLAYER!!!

Posted by: steevy at December 10, 2013 02:13 PM (zqvg6)

103 But do any reptiles make noises?
-
Hairy Reid makes a noise that sounds like, 'Hey, little boy, want some candy?"

Posted by: WalrusRex at December 10, 2013 02:13 PM (XUKZU)

104 Hmm... so they finally got with the program and made a proper looking Gojira.

Better than that over-grown lizard in the previous film flop.

That being said, this looks like it could be half-way decent. And yeah, I've seen ALL the films from the franchise... even the cheesy ones when Toho was just milking the genre (and it was obvious that they were running out of creative steam).

Go go Godzilla!


Posted by: CPT. Charles at December 10, 2013 02:13 PM (lJaja)

105 Better to locate it in D.C.

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/s] at December 10, 2013 02:13 PM (UVadJ)

106 97 Which will the hero be? 1. The outcast scientist / professor who tried to warn us, but we just wouldn't listen. 2. The young reporter who bucks her editor because she just knows there's a story there and manages to uncover The Truth. 3. The persecuted whistleblower. --- The woman who is The World's Smartest Hacker because she wears glasses!

Posted by: Michael Bay at December 10, 2013 02:13 PM (/Crba)

107 Just an FYI- Ryan and Murray are releasing a budget right now.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 10, 2013 02:13 PM (g1DWB)

108 These few words pretty much sum up my thoughts about giant-monster movies: We have the technology to blast the motherckufer off the face of the planet so, how long is the pretense that a giant ckufing lizard or monkey will destroy us all supposed to last?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 10, 2013 02:14 PM (DmNpO)

109 Here is some more teaser footage of the new Godzilla film. http://www.metacafe.com/embed/11070179/ It seems like they are actually trying to take it back to it's Gojira roots. The teaser has the real audio of Oppenheimer describing the Trinity nuclear test playing over it. Badass.

Posted by: Amichel at December 10, 2013 02:14 PM (dlG5h)

110 If you crawled onto Godzilla's back, would you be safe?

That blue glow preceeding the atomic breath-o-death would is know to cause cancer in the state of California.

Posted by: DaveA[/i][/b][/s] at December 10, 2013 02:14 PM (DL2i+)

111 >>>Stanley Kubrick took Ligetti's musical composition. He did not merely use it. He altered Ligetti's work for the movie without permission. So he got sued. hm! I did not know that. I don't know the original.

Posted by: ace at December 10, 2013 02:14 PM (/FnUH)

112 Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big ol' storm right square in the eye and he says, "Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it."

Posted by: Jack Burton at December 10, 2013 02:14 PM (JRmiD)

113 Paul Ryan is dead to me.  Another sucker rolled be the retarded dummycraps.

Posted by: Truck Monkey, Gruntled New Business Owner at December 10, 2013 02:14 PM (jucos)

114 "...the producers spliced in scenes with Raymond Burr..." I remember thinking after a while, "Why do all of Burr's scenes have him talking seriously while looking out an office window?

Posted by: Meremortal, movie historian at December 10, 2013 02:14 PM (1Y+hH)

115 i mean really.  almost like a piece of spaghetti.

Posted by: dillhole12 at December 10, 2013 02:14 PM (uURnG)

116 Whoa: Paul Ryan just grabbed Patty Murray's tits live on TV.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 10, 2013 02:14 PM (ZPrif)

117 The first half of Signs, The Mist, and Jeepers Creepers, for example, were great.

The second half?

Crap.

Because they fell onto plot crutches.

The first half of The Possession made me shut it off--I was rooting for the demon. The little girls were spoiled bitches, the dad and mom were awful humans--I had no reason to care if they lived, better they die and the world be made a nicer place.

Or take most M. Night Shamaramadingdong movies: Same thing, can build a background but then "why am I watching this again?"

Posted by: RoyalOil at December 10, 2013 02:15 PM (VjL9S)

118 >>>We have the technology to blast the motherckufer off the face of the planet so, how long is the pretense that a giant ckufing lizard or monkey will destroy us all supposed to last? they show them loading up what is clearly a nuclear bomb. I'm sure there's some bullshit Convenient Plot Reason why this doesn't work. ("It only seems to... *grow stronger* from radiation!!!!")

Posted by: ace at December 10, 2013 02:15 PM (/FnUH)

119 The woman who is The World's Smartest Hacker because she wears glasses! **** Almost as funny as Denise Richards: Nuclear Physicist

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 10, 2013 02:15 PM (DmNpO)

120 I want Godzirra, Mothra, Ghidorrah, and the UN Security Council (15 members) to play 18-handed Fizzbin using 36 decks of standard cards in an auto shoe with Sevens wild and Jacks a punch in the throat...

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at December 10, 2013 02:15 PM (vHRtU)

121 Or take most M. Night Shamaramadingdong movies: Same thing, can build a background but then "why am I watching this again?" --- WHAT A TWEEEEST~!

Posted by: M. Night Shamalamadingdong at December 10, 2013 02:15 PM (/Crba)

122 And I'll bet that budget reduces the deficit by a half trillion $$... over 40 years!

Posted by: soothsayer at December 10, 2013 02:15 PM (mZGNr)

123 Which will the hero be? The sassy hairstylist trying to save her Salon. Her catchphrase will be, "I'mma beat that bitch white!"

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b] at December 10, 2013 02:15 PM (sByIH)

124 "SLAYER!!!" Agreed. Now if we want to talk about the evolution of Thrash metal to gargling screaming..well then he may have a point.

Posted by: Lauren at December 10, 2013 02:15 PM (hFL/3)

125 Ryan and Murray are releasing a budget right now.

I just released an epic fart -- I doubt their release will compare.

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/s] at December 10, 2013 02:16 PM (UVadJ)

126 Almost as funny as Denise Richards: Nuclear Physicist --- That one was just offensively bad. And I was a HUGE Denise Richards drooler at that time.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at December 10, 2013 02:16 PM (/Crba)

127 What movie is "UHF"?

Posted by: Serious Cat at December 10, 2013 02:16 PM (1YJrc)

128 I kinda liked Cloverfield for not telling us where the monster came from.

Posted by: Dr Spank at December 10, 2013 02:16 PM (xlX1p)

129 Go Go Gophers

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 10, 2013 02:16 PM (S+wJC)

130 I'm sure there's some bullshit Convenient Plot Reason why this doesn't work. ("It only seems to... *grow stronger* from radiation!!!!")


Maybe there's a refrigerator that's big enough for Godzilla to hide in.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 10, 2013 02:17 PM (8ZskC)

131 Paul Ryan is dead to me. Another sucker rolled be the retarded dummycraps. Posted by: Truck Monkey, Gruntled New Business Owner at December 10, 2013 06:14 PM (jucos) Stop watching for 30 seconds and he goes from whacko-bird to Dem-lite.

Posted by: Meremortal, watching again at December 10, 2013 02:17 PM (1Y+hH)

132 Basically the trailer makers are capitalizing on an audience's already built-in reaction to a piece of music. So they've already got me to think Mystical Monolith for the 2001 music, now they just free-ride on those already-existing associations for the Godzilla trailer. Posted by: ace at December 10, 2013 06:08 PM (/FnUH) Don't know how many younguns know about 2001, and it just makes me think they are challenging a bar that can't be met.

Posted by: Underground Vulgarian at December 10, 2013 02:17 PM (KNsty)

133 Anyway, Raymond Burr wasn't the hero.
-
Did he say Godzilla was incompetent, irrelevant, and immaterial?

Posted by: WalrusRex at December 10, 2013 02:17 PM (XUKZU)

134 What movie is "UHF"? Al Yankovic, 1989. Seriously strange movie.

Posted by: Paid for by Citizens for Clyde the Orangutan at December 10, 2013 02:17 PM (QF8uk)

135 Sequestration goes boom.

Posted by: Franch Dressing at December 10, 2013 02:17 PM (ZPrif)

136 Paul Ryan just grabbed Patty Murray's tits live on TV. Please to be explaining.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b] at December 10, 2013 02:18 PM (sByIH)

137 Or Cloverfield?

All I could think of is the movie would have been better if the soundtrack included a Weird Al remix titled: "Livin' in a Hipster Douchbag Paradise."

Shitty characters that I'd rather see dead. "Go monster, kill them whiny bitches! Please, I can't take their whiny douchiness anymore!"

Posted by: RoyalOil at December 10, 2013 02:18 PM (VjL9S)

138 And by 'reduce' I mean increase, and by 'forty years', I mean 4 years. Ryan and Rubio are the Two Biggest Jerkoffs in DC.

Posted by: soothsayer at December 10, 2013 02:18 PM (mZGNr)

139 I'm sure there's some bullshit Convenient Plot Reason why this doesn't work. ("It only seems to... *grow stronger* from radiation!!!!") *** Or the environmentalists and biologists come forward to scream about the damage to mother-Earth/the killing of a one-in-a-lifetime specimen.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 10, 2013 02:18 PM (DmNpO)

140 not vampiric, except with regard to fruit.

Nice.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at December 10, 2013 02:18 PM (ZKzrr)

141 The woman who is The World's Smartest Hacker because she wears glasses! Posted by: Michael Bay at December 10, 2013 06:13 PM (/Crba) And her fat sidekick of African descent!

Posted by: Underground Vulgarian at December 10, 2013 02:18 PM (KNsty)

142 Perhaps the first "Wow!" movie I ever saw was entitled, I think, Robinson Crusoe on Mars.  Yeah, It was just as good as it sounds.

Posted by: WalrusRex at December 10, 2013 02:18 PM (XUKZU)

143 As to why they don't just blast Godzilla,they can't.In the 90's movies at least he had basically a Wolverine like healing factor.Any part that was damaged regenerated rapidly.

Posted by: steevy at December 10, 2013 02:18 PM (zqvg6)

144 If it takes a nuke to kill him but Mrs. Godzilla has laid eggs all over the globe, exactly how many nukes are you going to need? And aren't there inherent problems with exploding nukes all over the world? Then, there probably is a shortage of nukes because of all the namby pampy anti proliferation freaks.

Posted by: Dr. Jesse Pinkman at December 10, 2013 02:19 PM (h4eud)

145 Patty Murray wearing a golden necklace and broach. Nicely matches her golden hair. And teeth.

Posted by: Franch Dressing at December 10, 2013 02:19 PM (ZPrif)

146 143 Underrated classic.

Posted by: steevy at December 10, 2013 02:19 PM (zqvg6)

147 Gojira is never good.  Gojira just is.  A force of nature that must be endured until he beats up the other monsters and stomps away.  Or as in Gojira tai Destroyah where he is going into a critical meltdown that will blow up Tokyo, again.  Or even when he battled Chukkkle Johnson's space bicycle seat, the humans were just spectators as Gojira rumbled through Tokyo.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 10, 2013 02:19 PM (27gH7)

148 Almost as funny as Denise Richards: Nuclear Physicist That open-mouthed stare just screams top 1% IQ.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b] at December 10, 2013 02:19 PM (sByIH)

149 Maybe there's a refrigerator that's big enough for Godzilla to hide in. *** LOL! Was that scene an early dead giveaway as to what was to come or what?!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 10, 2013 02:19 PM (DmNpO)

150 Al Yankovic, 1989. Seriously strange kickass movie.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at December 10, 2013 02:19 PM (ZKzrr)

151 >>That trailer has certainly piqued my sense of wonder. I am wondering if the beast is a result of global warmenization, Evil Corp. inc., Bush, or some combination of the three.

A big corporation that has illegally dumped a ton of global-warming inducing  toxic waste whose CEO got away with it because he's a buddy of Bush.

Posted by: Lizzy at December 10, 2013 02:19 PM (JRmiD)

152 Did he say Godzilla was incompetent, irrelevant, and immaterial?
Posted by: WalrusRex at December 10, 2013 06:17 PM (XUKZU)
I object!

Posted by: Ham Burger w/ fries at December 10, 2013 02:19 PM (S+wJC)

153 And what is it about LA/NYC. Just once I wanna see aliens/ Godzilla attack a forest or farm or desert or mountain where there are no people. Or an ocean. The globe is a big place. PS Hollywood blows chunks.

Posted by: Tonic Dog at December 10, 2013 02:19 PM (Mx7PI)

154 so basically they are kicking the can down the road again

Posted by: Nevergiveup at December 10, 2013 02:19 PM (t3UFN)

155 Paul Ryan is dead to me. Another sucker rolled be the retarded dummycraps. Posted by: Truck Monkey, Gruntled New Business Owner at December 10, 2013 06:14 PM (jucos) Makes me wonder what the opposition research in 2012 turned up...

Posted by: Underground Vulgarian at December 10, 2013 02:20 PM (KNsty)

156 >>I just released an epic fart -- I doubt their release will compare. From what I've heard so far, they compare quite favorably.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 10, 2013 02:20 PM (g1DWB)

157

Thing of it is, when I see a movie trailer/teaser like that anymore, I have to think that...

 

The really good, cool part is: Looks like they've got some pretty good stuff going on in this-here-now new movie -

 

While -

 

The really bad, uncool part is: What if I've just seen every bit of the pretty good stuff going on in this-here-now new movie -

 

Ah, well, y'never know - each time I saw the promos for each Ironman flick, I went through that, and each time - I was quite satisfied with the results. There were lots more of those really good, cool parts in each one. Not as many in the last as in the first, but still...I'd go see another one, anytime Tony gets the flying suits of armor goin' again.

Not too many moom pitchurs out there like that these days, though...  

Posted by: J.S.Bridges at December 10, 2013 02:20 PM (o00SF)

158 So we are kicking the can down the road.  That is our plan.  Good isn't it?

Posted by: Truck Monkey, Gruntled New Business Owner at December 10, 2013 02:20 PM (jucos)

159

Needs more Raymond Burr swanning about and flirting with all the cute soldiers.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at December 10, 2013 02:20 PM (kdS6q)

160

I do not recommend taking the train to Tokyo Disneyland with your Wife and young Son and standing up just as the train goes over "that" bridge from the Godzilla movies and exclaiming out loud "I don't see Godzilla." 

 


You will no longer be welcome on that train trust me.  Been there and did that .

Posted by: Registered voter at December 10, 2013 02:20 PM (kYfFr)

161 Is Godzilla mad because of fracking? Global warming is played out, so it's got to be fracking.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at December 10, 2013 02:20 PM (+lsX1)

162 Forbidden Planet freaked me out when I was a kid. Nothing worse than an invisible ID running loose killing people.

Posted by: Dr. Jesse Pinkman at December 10, 2013 02:20 PM (h4eud)

163 I hated Cloverfield, yes they didn't reveal the origin of the monster that was fine, but the whiny characters ugh. I also hate the concept, "it looks so real because it shot so poorly"

Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at December 10, 2013 02:20 PM (WdbF7)

164 new (thin) post on the Ryan/Murray budget deal.

Posted by: ace at December 10, 2013 02:21 PM (/FnUH)

165 They also need to remake ZAPPED!

Posted by: soothsayer at December 10, 2013 02:21 PM (mZGNr)

166 Name of the charater Raymond Burr played in the 1954 version: Steve Martin Also the orginal Japanese version is way better.

Posted by: YIKES! at December 10, 2013 02:21 PM (mETGQ)

167 160 Needs more Raymond Burr swanning about and flirting with all the cute soldiers. Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at December 10, 2013 06:20 PM (kdS6q) Ray was into golden showers.

Posted by: Dr. Jesse Pinkman at December 10, 2013 02:22 PM (h4eud)

168 Godzilla vs Paul Ryan

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 10, 2013 02:22 PM (S+wJC)

169
I always that an Aqua Budda movie would be good. It could be any genre you want.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at December 10, 2013 02:22 PM (MaP11)

170 Bold choice of Ryan and Murray to start the press conference by making out. Nice side boob shot of Murray. Ryan keeps flexing his P90X abs. Ryan keeps licking her wattle.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 10, 2013 02:22 PM (ZPrif)

171 Butler: Who should I tell Tokyo is calling?

'Zilla. Godzilla.

Posted by: WalrusRex at December 10, 2013 02:22 PM (XUKZU)

172 "Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it." Posted by: Jack Burton at December 10, 2013 06:14 PM (JRmiD) I'm still searching for a six demon bag...

Posted by: Underground Vulgarian at December 10, 2013 02:22 PM (KNsty)

173 Al Yankovic, 1989. Seriously strange kickass movie. Agreed.

Posted by: Paid for by Citizens for Clyde the Orangutan at December 10, 2013 02:22 PM (QF8uk)

174 I'm sure there's some bullshit Convenient Plot Reason why this doesn't work. ("It only seems to... *grow stronger* from radiation!!!!") How about the reverse-Chemotherapy result? Godzilla's dying because of the nuke, but we're dying faster. And now we have a walking radiation hazard!

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b] at December 10, 2013 02:22 PM (sByIH)

175
Have you ever read Lord of the Rings? 

Tom Bombadil is a character like you describe.  Just start googling that name and you will see pages and pages written trying to get to the bottom of who Tom Bombadil really is.

Posted by: dan-O at December 10, 2013 02:22 PM (D0bIN)

176 "Just once I wanna see aliens/ Godzilla attack a forest or farm or desert or mountain where there are no people." I flew over a bridge and collapsed it with the wind beneath my wings. There were some cars on it though.

Posted by: Rodan at December 10, 2013 02:22 PM (1Y+hH)

177 I truly hope they don't bother with some reason for Godzilla to be rampaging,or an origin.

Posted by: steevy at December 10, 2013 02:22 PM (zqvg6)

178
Best part: leveling fucking San Francisco. We can all imagine that Pelosi's hosting a big meeting of Dem donors and journalists when Big G decides he wants some fugu.

Posted by: Trimegistus at December 10, 2013 06:07 PM (5nb1M)










Normally, H'wood chooses to level NYC in apocalyptic/monster films. But with two giant monster films leveling Frisco back to back, I'm wondering if they're trying to appeal to a different lefty audience.


Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 10, 2013 02:22 PM (TIIx5)

179 As long as Godzilla is gay, that's all they need.

Posted by: --- at December 10, 2013 02:23 PM (MMC8r)

180 >>The woman who is The World's Smartest Hacker because she wears glasses!
Posted by: Michael Bay at December 10, 2013 06:13 PM (/Crba)
And her fat sidekick of African descent!

***
So you saw the 1st Transformers movie, eh?

Posted by: Lizzy at December 10, 2013 02:23 PM (JRmiD)

181 I don't know the original.

Posted by: ace at December 10, 2013 06:14 PM (/FnUH)

Fun fact: They don't use the song "Daisy" in the French version. They use "Au Claire De La Lune."

And it's fucking weird.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 10, 2013 02:23 PM (oJ5Fd)

182 In Tokyo there are two statues to Gojira.  One is right outside Toho Studios.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 10, 2013 02:23 PM (27gH7)

183 Randomly dropped off Pint of moonshine down to half an inch in the jar. There are definitely some advantages to living in the South.

Posted by: Lincolntf at December 10, 2013 02:23 PM (ZshNr)

184 What movie is "UHF"? A little bit of one of those souls in those jars over there just died upon reading that. I want to see The Last Days on Mars but I have a weird affection for Liev Schreiber. That being said wow have I been disappointed by Ray Donovan.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra taunting. at December 10, 2013 02:23 PM (VtjlW)

185 It is not Godzilla unless he is stepping on Tokyo and most of the actors are Japanese. I have no problems with a few American actors in it, and the U.S. military would be involved...U.S.S. George Washington vs. Godzilla would be acceptable....but come on, must Hollywood always dumb things up for us. I am a good old American white boy and conservative to boot...I know, I accept....Godzilla should have lots of Japanese in it.

Posted by: William Eaton at December 10, 2013 02:24 PM (rLRIj)

186 The original "Godzilla", I recollect, was the first movie I ever saw that quite literally raised the hair on the back of my scalp and neck - that scene when the soldiers are searching for the wounded monster, and some of them are keeling over from being exposed to the spilled blood (it being, y'know, highly radioactive, and all...) - spooky stuff for a little kid, right? Complete with tension-raising impending-doom-kinda music on the soundtrack, IIRC...

Posted by: J.S.Bridges at December 10, 2013 02:24 PM (o00SF)

187 They had the Smog Monster vs. Godzilla so maybe it's time for a AGW Monster vs. Godzilla? Not sure why they never did a Dying Raintree Forest Monster vs. Godzilla. It had potential...

Posted by: Dr. Jesse Pinkman at December 10, 2013 02:25 PM (h4eud)

188 We have the technology to blast the motherckufer off the face of the planet so, how long is the pretense that a giant ckufing lizard or monkey will destroy us all supposed to last?

They're not giant animals and are unaffected by our weapons due to "Japanese Monster Movie Science" which usually makes only slightly less sense than global warming.  It may lose something in the translation though.

http://tinyurl.com/pjtobx8

Posted by: DaveA[/i][/b][/s] at December 10, 2013 02:25 PM (DL2i+)

189 Whatever happened to the Godzilla from Wasilla? And her baby?

Posted by: Andi Sullyvan at December 10, 2013 02:25 PM (1Y+hH)

190 It's not a big "wow" but the recent movie "Moon" is very good. It's more like an 'OMG, so *that's* what's going on' about halfway through.

Posted by: Lizzy at December 10, 2013 02:26 PM (JRmiD)

191 AlextheChick, I saw the trailer for The Last Days on Mars and all I could think about was...  wasn't this an episode of Doctor Who called The Waters of Mars with Bowie Base?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 10, 2013 02:26 PM (27gH7)

192 165 new (thin) post on the Ryan/Murray budget deal.

Posted by: ace


Sounds like a horror movie.

Posted by: Dr Spank at December 10, 2013 02:27 PM (xlX1p)

193 143 -- Purp -- Yesssss.... that was a seriously good flick!

Posted by: CPT. Charles at December 10, 2013 02:27 PM (lJaja)

194 Just once I wanna see aliens/ Godzilla attack a forest or farm or desert or mountain where there are no people.

What would be the point?

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at December 10, 2013 02:27 PM (ZKzrr)

195

@60
They really ought to remake every single movie Arnold ever made. But this time use an actor to play his part.

Commando.
Predator.
Running Man.

All the good stories wasted on that idiot Arnold..

---------------

 

Saw something the other day about a new Terminator TV series.  It's apparently going to be tied into a new Terminator movie reboot.  That will feature Ahnald in the title role.

 

...

 

Ooooookaaaaay...

 

Posted by: junior at December 10, 2013 02:27 PM (UWFpX)

196 They reboot Godzilla with practically every film. There is very little continuity from movie to movie, throughout most of the series.

Posted by: --- at December 10, 2013 02:27 PM (MMC8r)

197 I'm sure there's some bullshit Convenient Plot Reason

It's Godzilla, he's waded ashore, tore open a containment vessel and sucked all the rads right out of a hot core before.  Hell he's melted down and been rebooted into his son before.

Posted by: DaveA[/i][/b][/s] at December 10, 2013 02:28 PM (DL2i+)

198 I hated Cloverfield, yes they didn't reveal the origin of the monster that was fine, but the whiny characters ugh. I also hate the concept, "it looks so real because it shot so poorly" Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at December 10, 2013 06:20 PM (WdbF7) Oh Cloverfield sucks out loud and I hate shaky cam stuff. What I did like was the idea of taking big huge disaster movie and focusing on a single group of people who were not being stupid and who were actually trying to get the fuck out of Dodge and what happens to them. Then Abrams happened to it.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra taunting. at December 10, 2013 02:28 PM (VtjlW)

199 Or Super 8?

Dammit, ruined again because the writers couldn't think of a good story for the monster so fell back on tired old cliches.

If you're going to reveal the monster, have a reason beyond "welp, we've showed flashes and blurry shots now what?"

Posted by: RoyalOil at December 10, 2013 02:28 PM (VjL9S)

200

@62 Best part: leveling fucking San Francisco. We can all imagine that Pelosi's hosting a big meeting of Dem donors and journalists when Big G decides he wants some fugu.

-----------

 

Pacific Rim leveled San Francisco too.  It was the first city that got attacked by the Kaiju (during the long prologue).  Unfortunately, the only part of the attack that you actually see is the destruction of the Golden Gate Bridge.

 

Posted by: junior at December 10, 2013 02:29 PM (UWFpX)

201 For once, I'd love to Godzilla with a raging red boner as he destroys shit.

Posted by: Dr Spank at December 10, 2013 02:29 PM (xlX1p)

202 "What would be the point?" If I can get enough propane canisters in there, who needs a fucking point?

Posted by: Hollywood Producer, at December 10, 2013 02:29 PM (1Y+hH)

203 For example: Where are the Japanese females? I expect to see lots of screaming Japanese babes and I see none in this trailer!

Posted by: William Eaton at December 10, 2013 02:31 PM (rLRIj)

204 106 -- Purp -- a noteworthy concept. I'd settle for Beijing.

But alas, one holds Hollywood's heart, the other has Hollywood by their balls purse-strings.

Posted by: CPT. Charles at December 10, 2013 02:32 PM (lJaja)

205 They're not giant animals and are unaffected by our weapons due to "Japanese Monster Movie Science" which usually makes only slightly less sense than global warming. It may lose something in the translation though. http://tinyurl.com/pjtobx8 *** I started LMAO from the moment that trailer began.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 10, 2013 02:32 PM (DmNpO)

206 Some of Godzilla's greatest hits, in Gif form. http://brian.carnell.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/godzilla-fuck-this.gif

Posted by: Amichel at December 10, 2013 02:32 PM (dlG5h)

207 Always thought it was a gyp when I put on a giant rubber suit monster movie and then I'd see that stupid flying turtle shell.
Posted by: ace at December 10, 2013 06:04 PM
--------------------------
I'm at work. I'm scan/reading. I read it as:

"Always thought it was a gyp when I put on a giant rubber suit and then see that stupid flying turtle shell."

and instead of thinking it odd I just thought "huh, I thought it was a furry suit", and moved right along.

I love this place.

Posted by: I've Seen the Shell Too !!!1!!11!!!! at December 10, 2013 02:33 PM (ay6+/)

208 If it's better than Sharknado, I'm gonna love it. Yup, setting the bar really high there. Thanks Obama!

Posted by: MrX at December 10, 2013 02:33 PM (q8eh5)

209 All of you haters h8ting on Gamara need to see the 90's Gamara trilogy. That Gamara just flat out hated people and at best tolerated them. The final movie has a cliffhanger ending that is just epic and promises even more epicness to follow... But, alas....it was not to be... They stopped that iteration of Gamara and the next movie- Gamara the Brave, he was back to being the friend of children and cute.

Posted by: naturalfake at December 10, 2013 02:33 PM (0cMkb)

210 Wish Godzilla attacked DC instead.Ugh.

Posted by: Lizzy at December 10, 2013 02:34 PM (JRmiD)

211 He's so badass they thought it was a good idea to build a black hole gun, put it in orbit and shoot DOWN towards Earth at him.  And that didn't work either.

Posted by: DaveA[/i][/b][/s] at December 10, 2013 02:35 PM (DL2i+)

212 Roaaaarggghhh..... I spend many years frozen in ice, trapped under the sea, no fucking Netflix, nothing! Finally get to New York, sample the sushi, try to catch up on the Arts, and what do I get? Missiles in the face! Always wth the missiles in the face! They don't even hurt, by the way. So, from now on, fuck you, leave me alone to enjoy the Theater or get vaporized by my mega-laser-breath, the choice is yours, Tootsie.

Posted by: Godzilla at December 10, 2013 02:35 PM (ZshNr)

213 Gamera is really neat! He is full of turtle meat! We believe in GA-MER-A!

Posted by: Obnoxious Japanese Kids at December 10, 2013 02:35 PM (MMC8r)

214 At least no one is mentioning the Mothra reboots.

http://youtu.be/Z3Z6QdeoA24

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 10, 2013 02:36 PM (27gH7)

215 I didn't read any of this...but I think I saw someone blaspheming Slayer, up there.

Posted by: garrett at December 10, 2013 02:36 PM (JJBXq)

216 "...ominous music (which reminded me of the music that announced the Monolith in 2001)"


That's because it was.

Posted by: Ray Van Dune at December 10, 2013 02:36 PM (uPq7d)

217 216 Well,basically it was ace himself.

Posted by: steevy at December 10, 2013 02:36 PM (zqvg6)

218 Godzilla is played by a giant, mutated Brian Dennehy.

Posted by: --- at December 10, 2013 02:36 PM (MMC8r)

219 183 -- Anna -- have you seen the pics of the 1:1 scale Patlabor yet?

http://tinyurl.com/ntuue5h

Posted by: CPT. Charles at December 10, 2013 02:37 PM (lJaja)

220 I saw the original Godzilla in my neighborhood theater when I was nine years old, in 1956. (yeah, yeah, now get off my lawn) Always had a special place in my heart for that version. Godzilla was actually the co-feature. Anything Goes with Bing Crosby was the main attraction!! Had to sit through Anything Goes before seeing Godzilla! July, 1956.

Posted by: thatcrazyjerseyguy at December 10, 2013 02:37 PM (TPimP)

221 First time I had seen those pictures of Noa's labor.  So I guess there is also a 1/1 scale Griffon also?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 10, 2013 02:39 PM (27gH7)

222
One thing that Cloverfield seemed to to right is when the B2's are attacking. They're dropping bombs, great big gravity bombs with lots of explosives. Every other alien/monster movie seems to default to fighter jets launching missiles.

Worst in that regard is Independence Day. A spaceship the size of Bakersfield and you're shooting little piddly AMRAAMs with 40 pound warheads?????? Drop some fucking 2000lb iron bombs, dickweeds. It's not as if it's gonna be difficult to hit the damned alien ship.


Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 10, 2013 02:41 PM (TIIx5)

223 222 -- Anna -- Donno... I haven't seen a plot summary yet, but a Griffon would be pretty sweet!

Posted by: CPT. Charles at December 10, 2013 02:41 PM (lJaja)

224 Hey another legit Metallica reference. \m/ Although you forgot to mention what happened after they gave up "speed metal" (by which I think you mean "thrash," but we'll let it pass). They sucked. Then Death Magnetic happened and all was forgiven.

Posted by: Maloderous at December 10, 2013 02:43 PM (nI9VX)

225 I've mentioned before the half-buried skeleton of the immensely large, unidentified alien animal seen in the beginning of the Tatooine Trek of Star Wars. Again, not terribly expensive. And yet just seeing that huge skeleton provoked me, as a kid, to wonder what the hell the complete creature looked like.

This. That skeleton both scared me and awed me when i was a kid and it's just about the only thing left in Star Wars that still seems mysterious to me after about 237,946 viewings.

Posted by: booger at December 10, 2013 02:44 PM (xRDdL)

226 They better have a Griffon or some other mech opponent or its a bit pointless to have the Ingram.  It would be like Leona chasing the Buaku gang on a motorcycle.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 10, 2013 02:45 PM (27gH7)

227 it was ace himself. This will hurt his Christmas Gift.

Posted by: garrett at December 10, 2013 02:46 PM (JJBXq)

228 Hollywood scripts are modular now, some get a dystopian overlay, another gets the sci-fi spaceship treatment, but the script is just an action script.

Avatar was a Lawrence of Arabia reboot, the only difference between the two being "Lawrence of Blue Planet" went fully native, while Lawrence in David Lean's film lamented the fact that he could never be an Arab, despite his triumphs and desires. (key scene where Lawrence pinches his pasty white English skin)

Another Earth was a pretty good film that used the sci-fi "skin" as backdrop.

Posted by: 13times at December 10, 2013 02:47 PM (fGPLK)

229 I know you're all a bunch of M. Night Haters here but I love Shayamalan's earlier stuff because I think he was good at the whole creative mystery thing. Until Lady In the Water. Then he just got weird.

Posted by: katya, the designated driver at December 10, 2013 02:49 PM (DoZD+)

230 Metallica are thrash metal, not speed metal. And anyway, metal overall has progressed a great deal since the 80s. Particular movements might hit a wall but it all quickly evolves. Thrash combined with speed plus grunting vox gets you death than add in keyboards gets you black then get really high and...progressive death metal! And so it goes. Anyway, much as I love them, Metallica didn't see the writing on the wall so much as the dollar signs. They were pushing boundaries with ...And Justice For All but then turned around and did arena rock/metal anthems with their self-titled "Black Album."

Posted by: Some Guy What Used To Come Here A Lot at December 10, 2013 02:50 PM (LUnTP)

231 wasnt there a godzilla version where he went back in time and defeated the US in WW2?  I swear I remember that but cant seem to find it on IMDB.

Posted by: havildar major at December 10, 2013 02:51 PM (kduZC)

232
Some of Godzilla's greatest hits, in Gif form.

http://brian.carnell.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/godzilla-fuck-this.gif

Posted by: Amichel at December 10, 2013 06:32 PM (dlG5h)









If AoS ever gets a commenting system that allows avatars, I'm SO stealing that.

#twoweeks

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 10, 2013 02:52 PM (TIIx5)

233 231 Yep.

Posted by: steevy at December 10, 2013 02:52 PM (zqvg6)

234 Captain America : The Winter Soldier
http://tinyurl.com/q67rs8e

Posted by: Dr Spank at December 10, 2013 02:52 PM (xlX1p)

235 I know you're all a bunch of M. Night Haters here but I love Shayamalan's earlier stuff because I think he was good at the whole creative mystery thing. Until Lady In the Water. Then he just got weird. Posted by: katya, the designated driver at December 10, 2013 06:49 PM (DoZD+) Sixth Sense is excellent. Unbreakable is excellent. Signs is excellent. Lady In The Water was so-so plus one moment of pure narcissism that turns Shyamalan into a joke. After that he used up the last of the good will he earned from those first three films.

Posted by: Some Guy What Used To Come Here A Lot at December 10, 2013 02:53 PM (LUnTP)

236 2014 is the 60 th anniversary of the original.

Posted by: steevy at December 10, 2013 02:54 PM (zqvg6)

237

Worst in that regard is Independence Day. A spaceship the size of Bakersfield and you're shooting little piddly AMRAAMs with 40 pound warheads?????? Drop some fucking 2000lb iron bombs, dickweeds. It's not as if it's gonna be difficult to hit the damned alien ship.

Yeah.  No artillery either ever seems to get used either.  I don't remember any arty in Invasion LA (or what ever it was called).  I kept thinking why arent they hitting those aliens with 155's or even marine mortar companies...

Posted by: havildar major at December 10, 2013 02:55 PM (kduZC)

238 232 Well,he repelled an attack on one island,before he was mutated.

Posted by: steevy at December 10, 2013 02:56 PM (zqvg6)

239 238 M109's were engaging the monster in Cloverfield,apparently with direct fire.

Posted by: steevy at December 10, 2013 02:57 PM (zqvg6)

240 I liked Unbreakably but I thought Signs was retarded.

Posted by: steevy at December 10, 2013 02:58 PM (zqvg6)

241 steevy and I already discussed that one.  Time traveling rebels kidnap the T. Rex after it eats American soldiers, thus saving some Japanese soldiers.  But instead they release artificial lifeforms called Drats that, after the atomic explosion, become Ghiddorah.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 10, 2013 02:58 PM (27gH7)

242

I dunno. I still think the musical theme from 'Godzilla vs the Smog Monster' should be the anthem for the environmental movement. If memory serves, the title of the theme song was 'Save The Earth', and so were the lyrics: 'Save The Earth' sang over and over. And over. The theme song was also possibly sang by the same voice talents who dubbed the dialogue in the movie, which I suspect was one guy doing all of the voices, male, female, adult, child, since all of the female and child voices in the movie had that weird falsetto thing going on.

 

Imagine Al Gore and all of his true believers, hands over their hearts, singing the theme song from Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster. It gives me chills.

Posted by: troyriser at December 10, 2013 02:58 PM (V9ol4)

243
Unbreakable is excellent.

Posted by: Some Guy What Used To Come Here A Lot at December 10, 2013 06:53 PM (LUnTP)








Yep. Seriously creepy, especially the "twist" ending. Which they fucking RUINED with the on-screen text explaining the later legal charges, like a cheap-assed episode of The FBI with Efrem Zimbalest Jr.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 10, 2013 02:59 PM (TIIx5)

244 The Toho trailer for Gojira tai Hedorah.

http://youtu.be/LVOR-463obk

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 10, 2013 03:01 PM (27gH7)

245 I admit to feeling a chill at the end of the trailer when Godzilla lets out his trademark roar.( and it is trademarked by Toho)

Posted by: steevy at December 10, 2013 03:02 PM (zqvg6)

246 I liked the ending of Unbreakable but hated the pacing of the movie, much like most M Night Shlalabma's movies.

Posted by: Dr Spank at December 10, 2013 03:04 PM (xlX1p)

247 227 -- Anna -- true... but a guest appearance by the Puma sisters could buy a fair amount of forgiveness on my part )

Posted by: CPT. Charles at December 10, 2013 03:04 PM (lJaja)

248
Yeah. No artilleryeither ever seems to get used either. I don't remember any arty in Invasion LA (or what ever it was called). I kept thinking why arent they hitting those aliens with 155's or even marine mortar companies...

Posted by: havildar major at December 10, 2013 06:55 PM (kduZC)










Battle: Los Angeles does show Marines launching mortar rounds from the airport early in the film. It's a single quick shot that's kind of lost in the chaos.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 10, 2013 03:04 PM (TIIx5)

249 This had better have an unobtrusive clip of a bunch of people holding "Godzilla hates fags" signs getting stepped on or it's losing points.

Posted by: Ranba Ral at December 10, 2013 03:06 PM (G99e4)

250

@238 Yeah. No artilleryeither ever seems to get used either.

-----------

 

The aliens had been roaming around long enough blowing everything up that there might not have been any in the region.  The F-18s should have had better anti-blow stuff up weapons, though, given that they were built with both air to air and air to ground in mind.

 

Haven't seen Battle LA, so I can't comment on that one.

 

Posted by: junior at December 10, 2013 03:06 PM (UWFpX)

251 Battle Los Angeles was horrible, a real piece of shit.

Posted by: Dr Spank at December 10, 2013 03:07 PM (xlX1p)

252

@248 227 -- Anna -- true... but a guest appearance by the Puma sisters could buy a fair amount of forgiveness on my part )

-------------

 

They'll be dressed in full-length chadors.

 

Posted by: junior at December 10, 2013 03:08 PM (UWFpX)

253 *looks at junior*  So you the one in the gang who holds that plushy bunny.

Noa vs the Puma sisters, amusing.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 10, 2013 03:09 PM (27gH7)

254 236, exactly. Except I loved The Village. I realize my family and I are the only living humans who liked that one. When the trailer came out for The Happening, I had a glimmer of hope that his earlier genius had returned. In the theater I realized it was not to be but in spite of Mark Wahlberg's and Zooey Dasherwatsername's bizarre acting it was still creepy and passably good. Then the punch line was "it's the plants" I was filled with rage that was equal only to Crystal Skull when I realized it was aliens..

Posted by: katya, the designated driver at December 10, 2013 03:10 PM (DoZD+)

255 Battle Los Angeles was horrible, a real piece of shit.

Posted by: Dr Spank at December 10, 2013 07:07 PM (xlX1p)

 

I liked it, although the platoon sergeant's angst and tragic backstory seemed contrived by a very lazy scriptwriter. There's simply no time when fighting desperately for one's life to dwell on personal baggage but everyone in that flick seemed to find it.

Posted by: troyriser at December 10, 2013 03:10 PM (V9ol4)

256 I kinda liked Devil, at least the pacing didn't put me to sleep.

Posted by: Dr Spank at December 10, 2013 03:12 PM (xlX1p)

257

@254 *looks at junior* So you the one in the gang who holds that plushy bunny.

Noa vs the Puma sisters, amusing.

------------

 

I'll tell you what *I* want to see...

The modern version of the Tank Police (i.e. includes both Leona and the Puna Sisters) teaches a team of high school girls the ancient and venerable sport of Sensha-do ("The Way of the Tank)!

 

^_^

 

Posted by: junior at December 10, 2013 03:13 PM (UWFpX)

258

I confess I like about the first 1/2 of Battle LA. 

 

I was hoping for an authentic ass whipping by the aliens and then...

 

man... it sucked.  why would the aliens have only one lousy "main depot" (or what evet it was....

 

Not sure why the aliens always have to ground invade first.  Bombard from space soften up D.C., SF., LA etc and then send in the PBI.!

Posted by: havildar major at December 10, 2013 03:15 PM (kduZC)

259 253 -- junior -- BLASPHEMY!

Skin-tight Mylar or nothin'...

Posted by: CPT. Charles at December 10, 2013 03:17 PM (lJaja)

260 ...and everything is Louder and Faster and Also Louder... As George Lucas always told his actors, "faster," and "more intense." Explains why Empire is still the best in the entire lineup... Irvin Kershner had "confidence to play a scene quietly and let you think about what you're seeing."

Posted by: Jamfish at December 10, 2013 03:19 PM (m4+Rq)

261 Re: the '2001' rip-off... Taking music from other movies may be done 'all the time', but there are times when it is patently wrong. Kubrick's use of Elkind's rendition of the Ligetti piece was innovative, unique, and, as such, ICONIC. It became a fingerprint of the movie and 44 years ago, changed a bit of my brain. I can't hear it without invoking 2001. Using it here is a weak attempt at trying to borrow the gravitas of the corresponding moment in '2001', without the responsibility of earning said gravitas. Imagine a movie about a wimpy junior-high schoolkid who confonts a bully with: "You talkin' to me?". This could only play as a joke. If delivered straight, I would change the channel or walk out of the theater. A unique, original, innovative, iconic presentation of a cinematic, musical meme like this is a rare and beautiful thing. But it cannot be stepped-on lightly. I admit to being a bit over-sensitive to this sort of thing. For example, any gangster movie that tries to lay out a montage to 'Layla' immediately loses me -- Scorsese did it first and best and cast it in stone. This is one of those things. You cannot use that music. If you do, you better be doing a better job than Kubrick did. I doubt this moment in this film beats the '2001' context. Cheap theft (even if it was paid for). --Oldowan

Posted by: oldowan at December 10, 2013 03:24 PM (jLvP9)

262

@260 253 -- junior -- BLASPHEMY!

Skin-tight Mylar or nothin'...

---------------

 

And you'd prefer the latter of the two options, I'm sure...

 

 

Fine, fine...  Their chadors will have sleeves that leave the hands exposed most of the time...

 

Posted by: junior at December 10, 2013 03:24 PM (UWFpX)

263 258 -- junior -- Ah yes, the good olde days of anime.

http://tinyurl.com/nckf3ud

That's one I wouldn't mind a reboot for...

Posted by: CPT. Charles at December 10, 2013 03:29 PM (lJaja)

264 *gambols off happily*  The Puma sisters still rule!

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 10, 2013 03:29 PM (27gH7)

265 263 -- junior -- evidently you haven't Shirow-sensei's art lately... there would be NO difference.

Posted by: CPT. Charles at December 10, 2013 03:31 PM (lJaja)

266 Shirow-sensei went right off the precipice when it comes to computer wet art lately.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 10, 2013 03:35 PM (27gH7)

267 Wow, a real bunch of sourpusses in this thread.

IT'S GODZILLA, PEOPLE.

Bask.  Bask.

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge at December 10, 2013 03:41 PM (Ed+yP)

268 A ten thousand word movie review from Ace based solely on a teaser trailer for a remake of a remake of an awesome lizard monster character that had a sell by date of about 1973, with a Metallica reference and also one to a vampire creature that ISN'T a stupid teenage girl who has a crush on a fucking werewolf? By any rational definition, we have reached Nirvana (the place, not the shitty band).

Posted by: Sharkman at December 10, 2013 03:42 PM (BDB07)

269

@266 263 -- junior -- evidently you haven't Shirow-sensei's art lately... there would be NO difference.

----------------

Yeah, but he doesn't do the animation. 

I have Intron Depot 2: Ballistics (I think?) sitting around somewhere.  Oddly, my favorite picture in it is a simple one near the front of the book showing a girl wearing a (nicely fitting) raincoat.

 

I also own the original Japanese complete GitS 2 manga (in color), was the only person I know of who noticed that there was a tentacle sex scene in the background of one panel, and have seen the alternate method that the assassins used to spike the endorphin levels of their hacker (the volume shows drugs, the alternate shows her having sex instead while she's hacking; oddly enough, she still has her top in the alternate version).

Posted by: junior at December 10, 2013 03:45 PM (UWFpX)

270

Think they'll ever branch out to "Queen Kong" ?

 

Got someone in mind who'll be available in a few years.

Posted by: seamrog at December 10, 2013 03:47 PM (TSwl3)

271 Okay, that was fun (Yeah, I've got ID 1 & 2), but it's time for a little Shingeki no Kyojin (actually, a LOT).

I'll pop in and out during the night.

Posted by: CPT. Charles at December 10, 2013 03:52 PM (lJaja)

272 If any Godzilla movie doesn't use BOC's "Godzilla" (there are some really crunchy live versions), it's a fraud.

Posted by: SFGoth at December 10, 2013 04:01 PM (JuoVO)

273 Killer Brain from Outer Space, all the Outer Limits', all the One Step Beyonds, anything written and produced by Rod Serling, any cheesy b film, all glorious days of yesteryear. Giant Crabs ! awesome-sauce! They just don't make movies like they used to, or any television shows for that matter

Posted by: No Brains remaining at December 10, 2013 04:55 PM (Zz48T)

274 Up from the depths. 30 stories high. Breathing fire! He's there in the sky! Godzilla! Godzilla! ...and Godzuuuuuki..... Godzilla would stomp the shit out of the Tarasque. If you haven't spent time thinking about that match-up, you can't call yourself a true geek.

Posted by: JohnW at December 10, 2013 05:35 PM (aM/gc)

275 The guy who made Monsters is making this Godzilla, and if he applies himself in the same manner, it should be pretty good. He's giving interviews talking about how it's kinda back to the roots of the original, and focuses less on Godzilla and more on the people and ambiance, much like Monsters. He said he didn't want to humanize Godzilla or make it a token of sympathy or understanding. He's just a monster.

Posted by: William Teach at December 10, 2013 05:55 PM (vRNdo)

276 Damn....I love that Godzilla scream!!

Posted by: Pam at December 10, 2013 06:12 PM (cgrL5)

277 It's muzzlum porn.

Every action movie now includes smashing up some America city so tickets will sell in the anti-american world.

Posted by: Storm Saxon's Gall Bladder at December 10, 2013 06:19 PM (6iOjB)

278 Yep. Seriously creepy, especially the "twist" ending. Which they fucking RUINED with the on-screen text explaining the later legal charges, like a cheap-assed episode of The FBI with Efrem Zimbalest Jr.

 

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 10, 2013 06:59 PM

 

Yeah, that final shot demolishes what otherwise was a rather well crafted film. Shyamalan is (or was) a good director who chose excellent photographers to work with. He could certainly create atmosphere and give the film a fantastic visual. What Shyamalan was weak at was storytelling/writing in the film medium. Unfortunately, nobody early enough told him that he was a weak writer and that he should direct other people's work. Mind you, even if he did, he'd probably fuck it up, because he lacks the strength in putting it together as a visual story. The ending to Unbreakable is a prime example. Others are in The Village.

 

The Village failed from the outset, when he signalled loudly that the villagers were the monsters. This was done at the picnic dinner thing when the alarms went off and Adrien Brody giggles like an idiot. The worst example is the big reveal later about it being set in current time, not a past century. Shyamalan has what's her face, the blind chick, going for medicine. He then shows a character opening a trove of articles about setting up the village in the current era.

 

It's today, not the past... twist! But, then it cuts to blind chick hopping a fence and landing on a modern paved road with a car approaching. What the hell was Shyamalan thinking? He fumbled his own twist. If he grasped visual storytelling, he would have showed blind chick coming across a car... first. Boom!... THEN show the articles explaining the situation. Shyamalan does this regularly in his movies.

 

 

 

Posted by: otho at December 10, 2013 06:29 PM (9gNQd)

279 I think we, as conservatives, need to sit out the next election. The GOP believes two things: 1) conservatives will always vote for them regardless of what they do; and 2) even if 1 isn’t correct, they can win without conservatives. Both of those notions need to be disabused before the GOP will move right. And, if the GOP doesn’t move right – then the GOP needs to be terminated. I urge everyone who considers themselves a conservative to sit out the next election. Yes, I know, we “have a good chance to win the Senate”. So what? What, exactly, do you believe that will get us?

Posted by: monkeytoe at December 11, 2013 04:21 AM (sOx93)

280 More CGI bullshit. 

Posted by: Tim Fountain at December 11, 2013 05:07 AM (s10dB)

281 Who doesn't relish the idea of a neo-con reptile demolishing Barking Moon Bat Central, aka San Francisco?

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie © at December 11, 2013 06:05 AM (1hM1d)

282 First of all, Godzilla?  Again?

Producer:  "We wanted to find a great story. So we found one that's been done 400 times. We drove right by this strange place called the Library and went right for the Overdone Script Archive."

But, yes, I get what you're saying, Ace.  A movie for me is good when there is a minimum of 'vault door slamming with echo effect' scenes and the CGI is so subtle you wouldn't know it was CGI. Maybe Hollywood can take a page out of the YouTube fake video book. 

But the most important thing is the story. The plot and execution. And just about every movie I see is damn predictable from minute one. Those that aren't have so many implausible scenes and plot holes that they make me laugh and turn off the damn thing (see: "Inception").

I think the story is what made early seasons of "24" so good. The unpredictability and non-sticking-to-TV-boilerplates.  The first season of 24 had my full attention. On the last episode, when the bad girl had Jack's wife, the TV boilerplate would have him rescuing her and nabbing the bad girl and a happy ending, beers all around. What happened?  The bad bitch gut stabs the wife and gets away and Jack's wife dies in his arms. End of season.

Hollywood needs new blood and maybe a new business model. When I think about how "The Passion of the Christ" made billions and Hollywood still doesn't get it, I laugh.

Posted by: Sphynx at December 11, 2013 06:19 AM (OZmbA)

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