Ace of Spades HQ

July 01, 2013

This Bear Is a Hell of an Entertainer
— Ace

I had this bear in a previous video, but I'm 95% sure this video is new. I think the last one featured him dancing or something.

There was some speculation that it was fake (including by me), but I don't think it was, because why fake something you can probably get a bear to actually do? They train bears to ride little tricycles in circuses, after all.

Well, this new bear footage is going to spark even more controversy and conspiracy theories, because now he's playing a trumpet.

Actually there is some controversy about it, as animal-rights people are angry about the bear being in captivity and being forced to learn tricks. The trainer says he only uses treats to teach the bear, but.... Well, let's say I think it's mostly treats. I don't believe an animal tamer will spare the whip. They're not sentimental about these things.

Posted by: Ace at 12:58 PM | Comments (148)
Post contains 161 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I wish the people crying about the maltreatment would go ahead and get their Treadwell on...

I love bears, I love them from about 300 yards minimum.

Posted by: Esteban10077@sven10077 at July 01, 2013 01:00 PM (LRFds)

2 Slow news day.

Posted by: © Sponge at July 01, 2013 01:01 PM (xmcEQ)

3 I love bears, I love them from about 300 yards minimum. Posted by: Esteban10077@sven10077 at July 01, 2013 05:00 PM (LRFds) Through a scope......

Posted by: © Sponge at July 01, 2013 01:01 PM (xmcEQ)

4 These bear videos are a distraction from the Amnesty bill.

Posted by: Serious Cat at July 01, 2013 01:02 PM (UypUQ)

5 Meh, I got a cat that farts when you touch him, and they are weapons grade nasty.

Posted by: Penfold at July 01, 2013 01:03 PM (Fbt5B)

6 I was going to post "in before the bitching about ace's choice of topics" but I guess I'm not fast enough.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at July 01, 2013 01:03 PM (/kI1Q)

7 There was some speculation that it was fake (including by me), but I don't think it was, because why fake something you can probably get a bear to actually do? I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that faking it is better than the bear eating you. Which that bear is going to do. A lot.

Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now. at July 01, 2013 01:03 PM (VtjlW)

8 Ursine are baffled by the piccolo though. And never give a monkey a hammer dulcimer.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at July 01, 2013 01:03 PM (codCi)

9 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at July 01, 2013 01:04 PM (/PCJa)

10 The bear expects a treat after every trick. If the trainer doesn't pay up, he will be the treat.

Posted by: fluffy at July 01, 2013 01:04 PM (z9HTb)

11 Alright, I'm out. Lauren, shoot me that synopsis email, and I'll try to get a post up tonight. Catch y'all tomorrow.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at July 01, 2013 01:05 PM (/PCJa)

12 I keep waiting for the bear to lose it and eat the German Sheppard.

Posted by: © Sponge at July 01, 2013 01:05 PM (xmcEQ)

13 Meh, I get the whole feminism thing, but Lena Dunham could really use a razor.

Posted by: Coleman at July 01, 2013 01:05 PM (AhJYy)

14 Call me when that loser teaches the bear to shit on the side of a cop car.....

Posted by: Occupy Fucktard at July 01, 2013 01:06 PM (xmcEQ)

15 I would kill and skin this bear while laughing about your ghey POTUS! Happy Fourth of July Obama worshippers! Your end has begun...

Posted by: PUTIN! at July 01, 2013 01:06 PM (WolTZ)

16 I keep waiting for the bear to lose it and eat the German Sheppard.

Soon.

Posted by: teh bear at July 01, 2013 01:06 PM (z9HTb)

17 Fake!

Posted by: waldo at July 01, 2013 01:07 PM (hc19V)

18 If that is a digital animation they need to hire whoever did it in Hollywood. That sure looks like hand held camera work to me.

To my mind the really incredible thing is hand feeding that bear. How exactly do you do that the first time? Maybe you start with a little cub?

Posted by: [/i] [/b] [/u] [/s] An Observation at July 01, 2013 01:07 PM (ylhEn)

19 I suspect that it is safer to train the bear with kindness rather then severity. particularly since the European Bear is the same species as our grizzly, well known for its cuddliness and tendency to rid off peoples' faces, but mostly the latter.

Posted by: Grey Fox at July 01, 2013 01:08 PM (CdQRQ)

20 Ace has this thing about bears.

Posted by: waldo at July 01, 2013 01:08 PM (hc19V)

21 Bears are people, too!

Posted by: Zombie Tim Treadwell at July 01, 2013 01:09 PM (qv+9a)

22 He ain't no Miles Davis.

Posted by: WalrusRex at July 01, 2013 01:09 PM (XUKZU)

23 Pretty damned impressive training. I'd have a Marlin Guide Gun slung over my shoulder the whole time. Maybe someone on the other side of the camera has a .375 H&H magnum trained on the bear.

Posted by: Rufus T. Firefly at July 01, 2013 01:09 PM (PwV7G)

Ace has this thing about bears.

Now you are scaring me.

Posted by: garrett at July 01, 2013 01:09 PM (qv+9a)

25 Noooo!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Timothy Treadwell at July 01, 2013 01:09 PM (z9HTb)

You've got to watch posting stories of people training bears.

The left will take that as an endorsement, then conflate it to "training" women, then to the Domestic Discipline people, and before long, we're in a full blown battle in the war on women.

It's just the way those twisted fucks work.

Posted by: jwest at July 01, 2013 01:10 PM (u2a4R)

I don't think you'd get very far trying to train a wild animal by whipping him.

Posted by: Liberty Lover at July 01, 2013 01:10 PM (2DgBs)

28 There is a brit commercial of people up in the artic where a very realistic polar bear comes along, removes his bear suit (he's a bear underneath) puts it into a washing machine (that just happens to be out in the artic. Looked real but was digital.

Posted by: waldo at July 01, 2013 01:11 PM (hc19V)

29 This bear takes orders in Spanish, so I guess that's one more ahead of me in the modern American economy.

Posted by: somebody else, not me at July 01, 2013 01:11 PM (29vnO)

30 PROMOTE URSINE RIGHTS AND SMASH THE BEAR-OPPRESSING IMPERIALIST ANDRARCHY!!!!!

Posted by: The Ursine Alliance at July 01, 2013 01:11 PM (8ZskC)

31 >>Ace has this thing about bears. So does Andi Sullivan. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 01, 2013 01:11 PM (g1DWB)

He's got nothing on the masterbating bear.

Posted by: Minnfidel at July 01, 2013 01:11 PM (PihNI)

33 That's nothing. Get back to me when you have a rhino playing a glass harmonica.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Lois Lerner lies at July 01, 2013 01:11 PM (LyF0H)

34 The dancing bear with the trumpet brings joy to my heart.

Posted by: Jollyroger at July 01, 2013 01:11 PM (t06LC)

Our "bears" will have a grand Fourth! Get used to it breeders!

Posted by: West Hollywood at July 01, 2013 01:11 PM (WolTZ)

36 Great googly moogly

Andrew Branca, LOSD ‏@LawSelfDefense 2m Zimmerman Trial: MOM: "Was there ANYTHING Zim said that was contradicted by evidence you had?" Serino: "No, sir." http://is.gd/MiCo0J

Posted by: toby928© for TB at July 01, 2013 01:12 PM (codCi)

37
Not to sound like a histrionic lib-tard.....

...but stuff like this is why dumb fuck city folk think its OK to pet the buffalo or pick up bear cubs while they vacation in Yellowstone.

On the other hand.... Darwin's rules.

Posted by: fixerupper at July 01, 2013 01:12 PM (nELVU)

38 This bear takes orders in Spanish, so I guess that's one more ahead of me in the modern American economy. Posted by: somebody else, not me at July 01, 2013 05:11 PM (29vnO) Thread winner.

Posted by: © Sponge at July 01, 2013 01:13 PM (xmcEQ)

39 Andrew Branca, LOSD ‏@LawSelfDefense 3m Zimmerman Trial: MOM: "Not physical envidence, witnesses, officers, not one fact anywhere?" Serino: "No, sir, not that I found."

Posted by: toby928© for TB at July 01, 2013 01:13 PM (codCi)

40 I'll say one thing, that bear has more skills than Preezy Choom.

And I'll bet he could shoot hoops and golf better, too.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 01, 2013 01:13 PM (lVPtV)

41 See the ursine Sinatra break Kim Novak's heart and woo Rita Hayworth in the classic gin joint musical: P A L S M O K E Y

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Lois Lerner lies at July 01, 2013 01:13 PM (LyF0H)

42 It isn't how well the bear sings, it's the fact that it sings at all. I used to love a Circus. And then I was in Russia and went to a Russian circus. The treatment of the animals was brutal. I have hated animal acts and circus ever since. Cruel fucking bastards.

Posted by: Jack at July 01, 2013 01:13 PM (gWHwW)

43 Question: what type of bear is best?

Posted by: Fake Dwight Schrute at July 01, 2013 01:13 PM (trhwS)

44 Fuck that.

Posted by: Adam says at July 01, 2013 01:13 PM (Aif/5)

I think you mean that Ace likes The Bare Naked Ladies.

Which he does...

That's how you know he's gay.

Posted by: garrett at July 01, 2013 01:14 PM (qv+9a)

46 30 >>Ace has this thing about bears. So does Andi Sullivan. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Posted by: JackStraw at July 01, 2013 05:11 PM (g1DWB) Is Ace's heinie safe? Does he need protection?

Posted by: waldo at July 01, 2013 01:14 PM (hc19V)

47 Spare the rod, spoil the orangutan.

Posted by: Bobby Berosini at July 01, 2013 01:14 PM (8ZskC)

48 "I don't think you'd get very far trying to train a wild animal by whipping him." ---------------------------------- But an e-collar could do wonders. Bears are supposedly a lot smarter than dogs and many dogs figure out who's making it work. That could be a big problem with a bear.

Posted by: Rufus T. Firefly at July 01, 2013 01:15 PM (PwV7G)

49 Making wild animals do what they were never, ever meant to do is a sadness. Stupid, sick fucks. The same applies to dogs and cats.

Posted by: Jack at July 01, 2013 01:15 PM (gWHwW)

50 Well, this bear is more useful than anyone in the White House.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Lois Lerner lies at July 01, 2013 01:16 PM (LyF0H)

51 You don't get far being rough with horses, that's for sure. Unless you want them to run like crazy motherfuckers on speed, in which case flog away. Far easier to just have an apple or a carrot in your hand and make them follow you around like little puppies.

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 01, 2013 01:16 PM (ZshNr)

52 Bear speaks spanish Rachel Genetalia speaks spanish. It's a match!

Posted by: waldo at July 01, 2013 01:16 PM (hc19V)

53 " . . . why fake something that you can get a bear to actually do." My point exactly.

Posted by: Dr. Ruth at July 01, 2013 01:16 PM (qwK3S)

54 C'mon fellas. It's obvious that is Brian Dennehy... he's so good he doesn't even need makeup to play a bear.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Lois Lerner lies at July 01, 2013 01:17 PM (LyF0H)

55 *wheeze* wtf is that thing?

Posted by: Rachel Jenteal at July 01, 2013 01:17 PM (V1ZIU)

56 So has Alex Baldwin ever asked a bear what does it have in its cave?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at July 01, 2013 01:17 PM (aB+tO)

57 IMO, the trumpet-playing sucks.

Posted by: Maynard Ferguson at July 01, 2013 01:17 PM (8ZskC)

58 Making wild animals do what they were never, ever meant to do is a sadness. Stupid, sick fucks. The same applies to dogs and cats. Posted by: Jack at July 01, 2013 05:15 PM (gWHwW) Well, lets all just go back to living in caves n shit......

Posted by: © Sponge at July 01, 2013 01:17 PM (xmcEQ)

59 Bear speaks spanish
Rachel Genetalia speaks spanish.

It's a match!

***

Yeah but bear likes crackers. Rachel doesn't like crackas. It's a problem.

Posted by: WalrusRex at July 01, 2013 01:17 PM (XUKZU)

60 There's a better chance this bear can read that letter than Rachel Jeantel.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Lois Lerner lies at July 01, 2013 01:18 PM (LyF0H)

61 Yeah, my cats would be much better off " in the wild".....

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 01, 2013 01:18 PM (ZshNr)

62 A wise man once said : 'Never trust a bear or a fart.'

Posted by: garrett at July 01, 2013 01:18 PM (BClN3)

63 #47 Actually, that is our stock in trade.

Posted by: The Democratic Party at July 01, 2013 01:18 PM (gWHwW)

Just watched Hansel and Gretal witchhunters, Identity Theft and Jack the Giant Slayer over the weekend. Didn't take as long as you would think since I only watch about 30 minutes of Identity Theft before I turned it off.

Both H&G and Jack the Giant Slayer were better than average with good effects. Identity Theft sucked worse than really having your identity stolen.

Posted by: polynikes at July 01, 2013 01:18 PM (m2CN7)

65 No one videos me.

Posted by: The Chicken at July 01, 2013 01:19 PM (qwK3S)

O/T 30 round magazines are swapped at CO capitol to protest new law that took effect today.

http://tinyurl.com/my5pals

Posted by: Ronster at July 01, 2013 01:19 PM (51V49)

67 Or Identity Thief whatever that piece of crap was called.

Posted by: polynikes at July 01, 2013 01:19 PM (m2CN7)

68 yeah, well whipping a bear is all fun and games until the bear has had enough.

Posted by: yankeefifth at July 01, 2013 01:19 PM (Z9EHQ)

69 Well, this new bear footage is going to spark even more controversy and conspiracy theories, because now he's playing a trumpet.

Hahaha! That's an excellent sentence.

I'll believe that's a real bear when we see video of him knocking the trainer to the ground, disemboweling him and eating the guy's head off.

That's what real bears do. They don't play the fucking trumpet.

Posted by: Rosetta at July 01, 2013 01:20 PM (IKW4R)

70 Anybody ever smell a bear's farts? Their breath stinks so their farts must be killers.

Posted by: waldo at July 01, 2013 01:20 PM (hc19V)

71 ace, EVERY animal video on YouTube and elsewhere has commenter that accuse the videographer of animal abuse. Especially if the animal is doing things that require training. You'll always have some special snowflake claiming they looked at some aspect of the animal's behavior and found "symptoms of abuse."

They're like the lefties that saw DeLay's booking photo and saw the "real hurt behind his eyes", despite the dazzling smile.

I particularly remember a video that has a guy gently tossing a cat onto his bed. The cat keeps running back to the guy, as if to ask for more. When the cat gets tired of it, he goes away.

People in the comments are freaking out! Abuse! The cat is being forced to do this, despite the fact that the cat wanders away when it's tired of the game. Nutters everywhere.

Posted by: bonhomme at July 01, 2013 01:20 PM (IoTdl)

72 I hear they want to cast the bear as the next Matt Helm.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Lois Lerner lies at July 01, 2013 01:20 PM (LyF0H)

73 Hey, Jack, a dog trained well is a good co-worker. Dogs didn't become seeing eye dogs, bomb-sniffers, herders and guards in the wild. They do it because they love the interaction with humans, and they like to do a job, particularly working dogs.

My English shepherd is a herder and a watchdog. She and I work well together, and she truly is my best friend.

If I hadn't trained her she would have become nothing but a bossy, loud, jump on everyone type dog, which most people do not like.

And let's talk about house-training, which is NOT a natural thing for an animal. You want dog crap all over your house?

Posted by: Miss Marple at July 01, 2013 01:20 PM (GoIUi)

Doing the job Americans won't do?

I don't care what it means, I think it's cool. I would gladly donate $5 to this guy's eventual medical bills after he is mauled.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 01, 2013 01:20 PM (TOk1P)

75 This always reminds me of the old Sergio AragonÃ©s cartoon where the kid grows up with teddy bears around him his entire life, then when he sees a real bear, he walks up to give it a big hug.........

Posted by: © Sponge at July 01, 2013 01:20 PM (xmcEQ)

76 Yeah, my cats would be much better off " in the wild".....

Yes, definitely.

Posted by: the grey fox roaming fluffy's neighborhood at July 01, 2013 01:20 PM (z9HTb)

77 Meanwhile, Putin and bear pic: http://s1364.photobucket.com/user/MickySpillaine/media/Putinbear_zps3017ea33.jpg.html

Posted by: Mike Hammer at July 01, 2013 01:20 PM (aDwsi)

78 #57 Sponge My goodness! That is the same straw-man argument that Obama used: If we won't train animals in sick and humiliating ways we will have to return to feudalism. But he's got you trained. Fuck you. You irrational shit head.

Posted by: Jack at July 01, 2013 01:21 PM (gWHwW)

79 seeing eye dogs got screwed. what a shitty career.

Posted by: yankeefifth at July 01, 2013 01:21 PM (Z9EHQ)

80 Y5 remember in Elizabethan England there was this thing called 'bear baiting' If the progressive-socialists had been exposed to that as children, perhaps they would not be shocked at all the rage being directed at them for acting like a certain Southern drama queen who said 'I will never go hungry again!'

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at July 01, 2013 01:22 PM (aB+tO)

81 In my dreams I can still see bears dancing like that..... right before they ate me.

Posted by: Timothy Treadwell at July 01, 2013 01:22 PM (32Ze2)

82 Fake. Obviously, the dog's a ventriloquist. D'unh!

Posted by: speedster1 at July 01, 2013 01:22 PM (yeM7r)

83 Don't feed the bears...but keep the EBT cards a-coming!

Posted by: Lizzy at July 01, 2013 01:22 PM (2mSdf)

84 Jeantel is a lazy useless fuck who is illiterate and refuses to work or go to school and only wants to drink and get high. We are now being bombarded with articles about how hurtful it is to black youths to criticize their bullshit.

Posted by: waldo at July 01, 2013 01:22 PM (hc19V)

85 It's the same video. Still fun.

Posted by: NSA at July 01, 2013 01:23 PM (5YUSx)

86 77 Jack,

Justice for Tinkleberry!

Posted by: Esteban10077@sven10077 at July 01, 2013 01:23 PM (LRFds)

The bear was making an obscene gesture.

Did that guy train him to do that?

Or was it just a natural bear type movement.

I've never seen a bear sit up and make a gesture like that.

It was like an "up yours" gesture.

But maybe that's a normal gesture for Russian bears.

It's at 02:06 on the video.

Posted by: wheatie at July 01, 2013 01:24 PM (Jw4kG)

88 "47 Making wild animals do what they were never, ever meant to do is a sadness. Stupid, sick fucks. The same applies to dogs and cats." ------------------------------------------------------ I once had a pig that i trained to walk on his front legs (it was a small pig). He was extremely entertaining right up to when I killed him and ate him. Very tasty little fella.

Posted by: Rufus T. Firefly at July 01, 2013 01:24 PM (PwV7G)

89 80 Timothy Treadwell,

Tim, it was nothing personal...I was just worried at the way you were looking at my grandson.

//Bear 141

Posted by: Esteban10077@sven10077 at July 01, 2013 01:24 PM (LRFds)

90 Interesting side note, the bear shook sinatra's hand

Posted by: yankeefifth at July 01, 2013 01:24 PM (Z9EHQ)

91 If PETA objects to the bear video, they should send out those girls dressed in lettuce. See what happens.

Posted by: MTF at July 01, 2013 01:25 PM (B5y+v)

92 Sponge My goodness! That is the same straw-man argument that Obama used: If we won't train animals in sick and humiliating ways we will have to return to feudalism. But he's got you trained. Fuck you. You irrational shit head. Posted by: Jack at July 01, 2013 05:21 PM (gWHwW) Guess I needed a sarc tag, huh..... You're quite hostile. Have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up. Owebama has me trained. You, sir, are the shit head.

Posted by: © Sponge at July 01, 2013 01:25 PM (xmcEQ)

93 Gentlemen, if there's one thing we must agree on, it's that Russia's Got Talent.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at July 01, 2013 01:25 PM (bYRF2)

94 Yeah, my cats would be much better off " in the wild"....

Heartworm, rabies, coyotes...oh yeah. How dare you abuse your cats by not subjecting them to the horrors of nature!

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at July 01, 2013 01:25 PM (/kI1Q)

95 I vote real. I've seen chimps campaign for office.

Posted by: Thunderb at July 01, 2013 01:25 PM (zOTsN)

96 I once had a pig that i trained to walk on his front legs (it was a small pig). He was extremely entertaining right up to when I killed him and ate him. Very tasty little fella.
Posted by: Rufus T. Firefly at July 01, 2013 05:24 PM (PwV7G)

Adorable little bacon.
http://preview.tinyurl.com/l2uf5qd

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at July 01, 2013 01:26 PM (oY6Yp)

97 yeah, well whipping a bear is all fun and games until the bear has had enough. Posted by: yankeefifth
--------------------------

Â“Oh, yeah. Oooh, ahhh, thatÂ’s how it always starts. Then later thereÂ’s running and screaming.Â”

Posted by: Jeff Goldblum at July 01, 2013 01:26 PM (aDwsi)

98 91 Sponge,

"uh there er ah...uh I can't think ah"

heh off prompter gems

Posted by: Esteban10077@sven10077 at July 01, 2013 01:26 PM (LRFds)

99 #72 OK. Point. I have a dog as well. Incontinence is not allowed, and additionally a death sentence. I'll put a vicious animal down. Or a hurt one. Or one that is incontinent. But here is the thing: An animal is not able to participate in its own medical treatment. And you have no idea, nor any appreciation as to the processes used to train that bear. It was not just positive reward that was used.

Posted by: Jack at July 01, 2013 01:26 PM (gWHwW)

100

87 -

Amen. My grill has chickens, pigs and cows doing all sorts of things they were never meant to do in nature. Tasty, tasty and unnatural things.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 01, 2013 01:26 PM (TOk1P)

101 Technically I don't think it's a trumpet. Seems more like a kazoo. But he is playing it. The dexterity with the chair is actually a little tougher. I'd love to have the bear over for parties.

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at July 01, 2013 01:26 PM (n8LUb)

102 Making wild animals do what they were never, ever meant to do is a sadness. Stupid, sick fucks.

The same applies to dogs and cats."

Except for monkeys that wear hats and smoke. They're fucking hilarious.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 01, 2013 01:26 PM (8ZskC)

103 My father in law has 2 outside cats......... Correction: ONE outside cat......

Posted by: © Sponge at July 01, 2013 01:26 PM (xmcEQ)

104 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPZNjtODzFI my favorite bear video of all time

Posted by: yankeefifth at July 01, 2013 01:27 PM (Z9EHQ)

105 It's funny watching the media doyennes pretending that they don't know just how shit-brained Miss Genteal is. I wonder if it work another way, with a suburban yoot who grew up influenced more by South Park than school."Well, Mr. District Attorney, you're gonna have to suck my balls on that one, sir. I don't want to be...nope, just suck my balls. Your honor, can you make him suck my balls?"

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 01, 2013 01:27 PM (ZshNr)

106 And you have no idea, nor any appreciation as to the processes used to train that bear. It was not just positive reward that was used.

Please show us the documentation of the bear's training.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at July 01, 2013 01:27 PM (4WhSY)

107 I went to a circus in Guangzhou a year or two ago and they had two bears doing figure 8's on motorcycles around each other.

Bears are just like people--incredibly strong, ill-tempered people who would just as soon hold you on the ground and eat your intestines while you screamed as they would look at you--but still, just like people.

Posted by: Kasper Hauser in Love at July 01, 2013 01:27 PM (HqpV0)

108 98 Jack,

Yeah I'm pretty sure the trainer probably used campus speech codes, and tax laws to cow the bear into shedding its identity, pride, and will to live...

on the bright side Obama fucked up the Ursine Health Industry as well...

Posted by: Esteban10077@sven10077 at July 01, 2013 01:28 PM (LRFds)

109 Amen. My grill has chickens, pigs and cows doing all sorts of things they were never meant to do in nature. Tasty, tasty and unnatural things. Posted by: BurtTC at July 01, 2013 05:26 PM (TOk1P) Meat is murder. Tasty, tasty murder.

Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now. at July 01, 2013 01:28 PM (VtjlW)

110

93 -

Yep, my cats will live decades, having the sorrow of never knowing what it's like to sleep a night on something harder than a plush easychair/sofa.

Such cruel beasts, we are.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 01, 2013 01:28 PM (TOk1P)

111 >>But here is the thing: An animal is not able to participate in its own medical treatment. My dog can lick his balls. I'm not sure if they are actually hurting him but he smiles and smokes a cigarette afterward so he seems please with the treatment.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 01, 2013 01:29 PM (g1DWB)

112
Awesome video, but it's gonna annoy the hell out of me once that precious little twat Shemp Smith plays it a thousand times.

Posted by: Wodeshed at July 01, 2013 01:29 PM (a9L+B)

113 ill-tempered people who would just as soon hold you on the ground and eat your intestines while you screamed as they would look at you--

----

So.... you're saying that bears are leftards??

Posted by: fixerupper at July 01, 2013 01:29 PM (nELVU)

114 It a little known fact that a bear is a type of Ewok.

Posted by: Thunderb at July 01, 2013 01:29 PM (zOTsN)

115 Making wild animals do what they were never, ever meant to do is a sadness. Stupid, sick fucks.

The same applies to dogs and cats.

Posted by: Jack at July 01, 2013 05:15 PM (gWHwW)

I agree. I would rather watch a pride of lions devour a zebra while its still alive. I also like watching a pack of hyenas pick apart a baby elephant. If you can, catch the video of crocs lying in wait for wildebeasts and then attacking. All wimpy bears do is eat a dozen or so pregnant salmon a day. Nature is a lot of hugs and kisses if you just know where to look.

Posted by: polynikes at July 01, 2013 01:29 PM (m2CN7)

116 fire post

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 01, 2013 01:29 PM (8ZskC)

117 it is really unlikely that it was only positive motivation for training the bear. even whatshisname the dogwhisperer employs shock collars in his training.

Posted by: yankeefifth at July 01, 2013 01:29 PM (Z9EHQ)

118 Who was that hippy that went off to Alaska to live with the bears? They killed him and ate him. Pretty sure there were Far Side cartoons that would have predicted that..

Posted by: Mike Hammer at July 01, 2013 01:29 PM (aDwsi)

119 Killing dogs for shitting someplace that YOU put them makes you feel proud, eh?

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 01, 2013 01:29 PM (ZshNr)

120 Both HG and Jack the Giant Slayer were better than average with good effects. Was that the H&G with the full auto crossbow? Full auto crossbow FTW!

Posted by: rickb223 at July 01, 2013 01:30 PM (7qw1E)

121 The best advertisement for Senator Ted Cruz ever is his father.

Walked in to the interview on the radio, the Glen Beck program, with some chick hosting. It's worth listening to later. What a great man. What an impressive man. Same sentiments as those expressed by my ancestors who came decades and decades before.

Posted by: caustic at July 01, 2013 01:30 PM (/b8+5)

122 Those EBT cards are keeping my straight-A daughters alive, FYI. Two interviews last week, and I'm damn close to stalking to get a third this week. The left's failure is to comprehend that people will always suffer, but fewer suffer, and for less time, when they can find a damn JOB. The right's is that poverty necessarily means a lack of effort.

Posted by: Easy Ol Hoss at July 01, 2013 01:30 PM (Q8Wa9)

123 I know I've been Disneyfied over the course of my life. In 1988 I took my friend and her two daughters to Sea World in Florida. The baby whale, trying to follow its mother, smacked its head hard into the side of the pool. The audience laughed and laughed. I cried: For the baby whale? Not so much. Mostly for the fucking imbeciles surrounding me.

Posted by: kathysaysso at July 01, 2013 01:30 PM (6H6o8)

124 >>But here is the thing: An animal is not able to participate in its own medical treatment. I find your advocacy in training animals to become doctors and nurses unnatural and cruel. A marmot would never, EVER, do a prostate check in the wild.

Posted by: Coleman at July 01, 2013 01:31 PM (AhJYy)

125

I've seen Italian type guys make that hand gesture...the gesture that the bear did.

And Euro people.

I've never known for sure, though, exactly what is meant by it.

I'm guessing it's not friendly.

Probably even nasty.

Am I the only one who noticed the Bear making the gesture at 02:06?

Posted by: wheatie at July 01, 2013 01:31 PM (Jw4kG)

126 Or Identity Thief whatever that piece of crap was called. That would be the Florida DA.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 01, 2013 01:31 PM (7qw1E)

127 117 Mike Hammer,

Timothy Treadwell...

Mike because *I* care...

http://youtu.be/CIiwhB38M1A

You don't have to thank me

Posted by: Esteban10077@sven10077 at July 01, 2013 01:31 PM (LRFds)

128 #72 Well, I am not discussing the bear at all. Just dogs and cats, which are DOMESTICATED animals and should be trained.

I spent $500 to get my dog properly trained and I am glad I did it. Dogs do not learn not to be vicious or aggressive without training (depending on the breed). I don't think you should do "luck of the draw" and if the dog doesn't behave, euthanize him.

And feral cats live the most miserable of lives. They need to be in a home which loves them and cares for them, and which has a damn CAT BOX!

Posted by: Miss Marple at July 01, 2013 01:33 PM (GoIUi)

129 yeah, incontinence is not an reason for putting your dog down. some sadsack at newsweek or usnews wrote a piece a few years ago about how sad she was about having to put her king charles v something or other down because it was pissing all over the apartment and it was too much work to carry it outside all the time. apparently instead of helping her in some cathartic way it had something of the opposite effect when everyone wrote in to tell her how vile a human she was. dogs deserve loyalty. suck it up and buy a diaper.

Posted by: yankeefifth at July 01, 2013 01:33 PM (Z9EHQ)

130 118 Killing dogs for shitting someplace that YOU put them makes you feel proud, eh? A pet that is no longer continent due to old age. It cannot control itself. Medical treatment will not help. Yes it gets put down. Sorry. That's the way it is. And I hold the dog while the injection is administered. And say goodbye and cry afterwards. Liberals just deliver the pet to the vet's office and leave. Or put the animal through a hell of pain.

Posted by: Jack at July 01, 2013 01:34 PM (gWHwW)

131 ... and yet after 5 years Obama still can't learn how to be a good President. Has anyone tried giving him treats?

Posted by: A Conservative Teacher at July 01, 2013 01:34 PM (idosS)

132 Smoking monkey, Big Bang Theory.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Yuo8JEYeqZE

Posted by: Mike Hammer at July 01, 2013 01:35 PM (aDwsi)

133 Give that bear an alto sax and he's a regular Rosco P. Coltrane.

Posted by: Fritz at July 01, 2013 01:35 PM (UzPAd)

134 Yeah, I make my dog ride in a car, shot gun with the window down. I also force him to go to the DQ and eat ice cream with me. I also force him to go to the dog park to smell butts. cars icecream dog parks nothing that nature meant for dogs to do...

Posted by: waldo at July 01, 2013 01:36 PM (hc19V)

135 He is auditioning for the Country Bears Jamboree.

Posted by: polynikes at July 01, 2013 01:36 PM (m2CN7)

136 Do you not think that dogs have pain? Or dignity? Or pride? Or feel embarrassment? Or despair? Do you not understand that a dog only understands action and accomplishment? Do you honestly think a dog enjoys getting rewards for no reason? I'm guessing that you do, as so many Democratic voters like receiving rewards for no reason either. Dogs are libertarian and conservative. Sheep and cows, that is progressive and liberal.

Posted by: Jack at July 01, 2013 01:40 PM (gWHwW)

137 Man learned the gesture from the bears. It's science.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at July 01, 2013 01:40 PM (bYRF2)

138 Gary Larson, The Far Side. On bears and humans.

http://annapuna.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-far-side.html

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at July 01, 2013 01:41 PM (aB+tO)

139 "And you have no idea, nor any appreciation as to the processes used to train that bear. It was not just positive reward that was used." ----------------------------------------- I've trained quite a few dogs and not every aspect of that training was totally fun and enjoyable for the dog (or me, for that matter), but they get over the unpleasant parts if done correctly. Firm correction, fairly administered, is not abuse. Bears, like dogs, tend to be glutonous opportunists so they probably can be trained within an acceptable level of corporal punishment. Beyond that, I have zero interest in training bears so I can't really say.

Posted by: Rufus T. Firefly at July 01, 2013 01:41 PM (PwV7G)

140 Yep, my cats will live decades, having the sorrow of never knowing what it's like to sleep a night on something harder than a plush easychair/sofa.

Mine don't have that problem, they're originally from the streets.

"My dinner is two hours late! You're the worst human being in the world!"
"No, the worst human being in the world dumped you Outside, where you had to sleep in the rain and those kids threw bottles at you. I'm awesome."

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at July 01, 2013 01:46 PM (/kI1Q)

141

136 Man learned the gesture from the bears. It's science.

Heh.

At last! Someone else who actually watched the whole video.

Posted by: wheatie at July 01, 2013 01:50 PM (Jw4kG)

142 It's depressing. A stupid bear can hula-hoop and I can't.

Posted by: irright at July 01, 2013 02:01 PM (DtNNC)

143 Summary of lead investigator so far and right before court recessed for the day - GZ story remained materially consistent, everything pointed to GZ telling the truth, when investigator bluffed about likely having video of event GZ said "Thank god, I was hoping someone had gotten video of it".

Posted by: ThisBeingMilt at July 01, 2013 02:02 PM (7mQyC)

144 I use my Chihuahua to wipe my butt. Is that abusive?

Posted by: Michael the Hobbitt, but you can call me Michael at July 01, 2013 02:06 PM (vVMIQ)

145 As they say: The amazing thing about a dancing bear is not how well it dances, but that it dances at all.

Posted by: Gov Weenie at July 01, 2013 05:14 PM (B/weO)

146

Putain de Christ! C'est quoi ce bordel avez-vous crÃ©Ã© pour ouvrir vos bouteilles de vin? Il est le plus difficile DIEU DAMNED MUTHER PUTAIN SPACE mÃ©tal vieilli connu de l'homme. Une fois que j'ai souffler-incendiÃ©es Ã travers elle, j'ai coupÃ© mon putain de lÃ¨vre indiscrets les maudite putain restes mithril de la putain putain putain putain de merde putain putain une AUCUN DIEU CORK DAMNED d'une piÃ¨ce FRANÃ‡AIS putain DU VIN DE MERDE.

Putain Christ.I ne se soucient mÃªme pas whatg Putain Ã§a a le goÃ»t - je l'ai eu pour 5 $ USD parce que le magasin a fermÃ© it out.

Putain de Christ. Si jamais j'ai un autre vin franÃ§ais, il sera trop tÃ´t.

Baiser.

My Original:

Jesus Fucking Christ! What the fuck did you create for opening your wine bottles? It is the toughest GOD DAMNED MUTHER FUCKING SPACE AGED METAL KNOWN TO MAN. Once I blow-torched through it, I cut my mother fucking lip prying the god-damned fucking mithril remnants from the fucking fuck fuck fuck of a fucking shit fucking NO GOD DAMNED CORK of a fucking FRENCH PIECE OF SHIT WINE.

Jesus Fucking Christ.I don't even care whatg the fuck it tastes like--I got it for $5 USD because the store closed it out.

Jesus Fucking Christ. If I ever have another French wine it will be too soon.

Fuck.

Never drink this god-damned muther fucking wine:

http://www.mine-wine.com/pro/

Posted by: Peter S. Dee at July 01, 2013 05:38 PM (O/lVw)

147

145: Oh, @peeteysdee.

peace out.

Posted by: Peter S. Dee at July 01, 2013 05:40 PM (O/lVw)

148 1 I wish the people crying about the maltreatment would go ahead and get their Treadwell on... - And not get anyone else killed while they are doing it.

Posted by: Chromoly Man at July 01, 2013 09:43 PM (/+EhN)

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