Ace of Spades HQ

July 30, 2013

This Here is Some Pretty Funny Ish
— Ace

Meghan McCain said something foolish. Okay, that's not the funny part.

I'm the funny part.

Worth a read. It's funny.

Posted by: Ace at 08:53 AM | Comments (200)
Post contains 34 words, total size 1 kb.

Meghan McCain said something foolish. Okay, that's not the funny part.

I'm the funny part.

Such modesty, ace!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at July 30, 2013 08:56 AM (4df7R)

2 Ace slices like a f'n hammer.

Posted by: EC at July 30, 2013 08:57 AM (GQ8sn)

3 Good thing the Ewok has that ego in check. But yeah, pretty damn funny.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at July 30, 2013 08:57 AM (da5Wo)

4 'Three Tries at GED Leads to Cancer Cure'

Posted by: zsasz at July 30, 2013 08:58 AM (MMC8r)

5 I'll be impressed with Meggie Mac when she finds a cure for stupidity.

Funny stuff, ace.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 30, 2013 08:58 AM (lVPtV)

6 "McCain Cures Cancer, Now Hopes To Spell It"

Posted by: zsasz at July 30, 2013 08:58 AM (MMC8r)

7 And Happy Birfday, Paul Anka!

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 30, 2013 08:59 AM (lVPtV)

8 This IS funny.

Posted by: HeideRadieschen at July 30, 2013 08:59 AM (/kI1Q)

9 How fat can someone get and still be able make a living under their father's shadow. Uh, asking for a friend.

Posted by: Defiantly not Meghan McCain at July 30, 2013 08:59 AM (rCS6C)

10 Heh heh. comment from "Richo": OK the first two or three were chuckle-worthy, 30 tweets though just look like a desperate cry for attention. Either that or someone has a crush on Meghan Mccain

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at July 30, 2013 08:59 AM (7ObY1)

'I'm the funny part.'

I'll take 'Idioms of Ancient Peruvia' for $400, Alex.

Posted by: garrett at July 30, 2013 08:59 AM (A8+/S)

12 That's just mean, Ace. Real mean.

Posted by: Kirstie Alley at July 30, 2013 08:59 AM (8ZskC)

13
PAT.: What if I quit smoking?

DR: You don't smoke.

PAT.: I could start. Okay, let me ask this: Would my friends have to know?Â—

DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 30, 2013

Oh sweet Jesus, *wheezing!*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at July 30, 2013 08:59 AM (4df7R)

14 Her Mom owns a beer distribution business and has her own race car team. I think Meghan just might be my idea of the perfect chick.

Posted by: MTF at July 30, 2013 09:00 AM (p/Sn/)

15 PATIENT: So it's a moped cure, then. Can I keep it on the D.L.?

Posted by: AmishDude at July 30, 2013 09:00 AM (T0NGe)

16 thank you for your indulgence.

Posted by: ace at July 30, 2013 09:00 AM (/IWYB)

17 If I cured cancer, the headline would be: "Commenter on rightwing blog cures cancer; press agog at boob jiggle as she ascends steps to accept Nobel"

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at July 30, 2013 09:01 AM (4df7R)

18 Still funny as hell, though, and on behalf of my future wife I think she thinks its funny too.

Posted by: MTF at July 30, 2013 09:01 AM (p/Sn/)

19 Yeah. Some people have glandular problems, not to mention babies n' stuff. So fuck off, Ace.

Posted by: Jessica Simpson at July 30, 2013 09:01 AM (8ZskC)

20 "Cancer Cured By Person Who Thought 'Sharknado' Was 'Too Intellectual'"

Posted by: zsasz at July 30, 2013 09:01 AM (MMC8r)

21 Boob jiggle? We need to discuss this further.

Posted by: MTF at July 30, 2013 09:01 AM (p/Sn/)

22
PAT: Tell me this: Can the cure get away with a bikini?

DR: No it can't. It's *liquid.* It comes in a beaker.

PAT: Like thin beaker, or..?Â—

DR: What?!

PAT: Like you know, does the beaker "keep it tight," or you knowÂ… (puffs out jowls) Like kinda squat?Â—

DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 30, 2013

I think I just peed myself a little.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at July 30, 2013 09:02 AM (4df7R)

23 If I cured cancer, the headline would be: "Commenter on rightwing blog cures cancer; press agog at boob jiggle as she ascends steps to accept Nobel" Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at July 30, 2013 01:01 PM (4df7R) "Look, she's making the tassels go in opposite directions!" *wild applause*

Posted by: EC at July 30, 2013 09:02 AM (GQ8sn)

24 ace, I'm concerned about how little you value and appreciate the humor you put into the world. Hey, what happened to that attention whoring professor who put out on twitter the equivalent of no fat chicks get into the PhD program? I must say, that was a lovely way to get all kinds of data for a publish or perish article without having to do any, hmm, what's that word? Oh. Yes. Research.

Posted by: alexthechick - Here SMOD SMOD SMOD at July 30, 2013 09:02 AM (VtjlW)

25 PATIENT: So tell me, doc. . .does the cure have, like, a hotter, younger sister?

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at July 30, 2013 09:02 AM (zF6Iw)

26 18 At some point do you think John McCain wants to leak to the media that Meggie is adopted. Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at July 30, 2013 01:00 PM (OWjjx) Frighteningly enough, MeggieMac is the smarter of the two.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at July 30, 2013 09:02 AM (da5Wo)

27 If I cured cancer, the first thing that would happen is a lawsuit. F-in' lawyers, you guys.

Posted by: AmishDude at July 30, 2013 09:02 AM (T0NGe)

28 Yep, that there was some funny shit, Ace. Got a good chuckle.

Posted by: The Third Horseman Of The Apocalypse at July 30, 2013 09:02 AM (uLzrM)

29 Beaker Goggles, Ace, that's what you need.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at July 30, 2013 09:02 AM (0HooB)

30 Nicly done Ace!

Posted by: Freedomlost at July 30, 2013 09:03 AM (qZ464)

31 some folk think you have a mad on for Moogan...

I don't concur...

Posted by: sven10077 at July 30, 2013 09:03 AM (LRFds)

32 "waiting for the Kate Upton cure". . . . You're killing it, Ace! Actual homicide being performed on that stream of consciousness.

Posted by: dwagyak at July 30, 2013 09:03 AM (GXFea)

33 I laughed, too.

Posted by: Beaker Filner at July 30, 2013 09:03 AM (uLzrM)

34 ace, I'm concerned about how little you value and appreciate the humor you put into the world.

I'd pay $2.99 for a compilation e-book.

Posted by: HeideRadieschen at July 30, 2013 09:03 AM (/kI1Q)

35 i actually don't even enjoy making fun of her (feels un-gallant) but the whole premise of "curing cancer but all the press wants to talk about is your body type" was so funny and so full of jokes.

Maybe she's some kind of double secret stealth comic genius.

Posted by: ace at July 30, 2013 09:03 AM (/IWYB)

36 When the Nobel's for the highest achievements of Twitter are announced this year, I think we'll know who should top the list. Keep up the good work, Ace!

Posted by: .87c at July 30, 2013 09:03 AM (niWH4)

37 "Cure Found In Freak Application of Botox and Ho-Hos"

Posted by: zsasz at July 30, 2013 09:03 AM (MMC8r)

38 Hey, I'm a big gal too. If I say something dumb will you Twitter-bomb me? Here goes: Why do I, Sydney Leathers, make more money than a drug dealer? Because I can wash my crack and sell it again. Toodles!

Posted by: Sydney Leathers at July 30, 2013 09:04 AM (7ObY1)

39 If I cured cancer, the first thing that would happen is a lawsuit.

F-in' lawyers, you guys.

I'm thinking about building a helipad entirely out of transvaginal mesh.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 30, 2013 09:04 AM (8ZskC)

40 Does the cure come with a 0.5% kickback on a 30 year fixed rate mortgage? 'Cause that's the kind of cure that'll put MoTown on the road to recovery!

Posted by: Detroit Association Of Ethical Realtors at July 30, 2013 09:04 AM (HjPtV)

41 press agog at boob jiggle Go on. . . .

Posted by: alexthechick - Here SMOD SMOD SMOD at July 30, 2013 09:04 AM (VtjlW)

If I cured cancer, the first thing that would happen is a lawsuit.

F-in' lawyers, you guys.

Posted by: AmishDude at July 30, 2013 01:02 PM (T0NGe)

PERFECTION.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at July 30, 2013 09:04 AM (4df7R)

43 "Look, she's making the tassels go in opposite directions!" *wild applause* Woot woot! Hummana hummana hummana!

Posted by: rickb223 at July 30, 2013 09:04 AM (bpzkI)

Yes yes, funny, but my question is, does Meagan McCain ever read these? Is she as likely as not to have forgotten she ever said anything about it?

I mean, we're entertained, but I need to know that there is some way to get through her thick hide, and I suspect that is not happening.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 30, 2013 09:04 AM (TOk1P)

45 Her Mom owns a beer distribution business and has her own race car team. I think Meghan just might be my idea of the perfect chick.

Posted by: MTF at July 30, 2013 01:00 PM (p/Sn/)

Not until she's a mute, blind, deaf nympho.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at July 30, 2013 09:04 AM (zF6Iw)

46 Is she using the obvious story of her big butt as an EXCUSE for not curing cancer?

Posted by: zsasz at July 30, 2013 09:05 AM (MMC8r)

47 Allahpundit hardest hit?

Posted by: Worker at July 30, 2013 09:05 AM (Q8Wa9)

48 If Danica McKeller cures cancer I would take that medicine. IYKWIMAITYD

Posted by: eleven at July 30, 2013 09:05 AM (KXm42)

49 38 i actually don't even enjoy making fun of her (feels un-gallant) but the whole premise of "curing cancer but all the press wants to talk about is your body type" was so funny and so full of jokes. Maybe she's some kind of double secret stealth comic genius. Posted by: ace at July 30, 2013 01:03 PM (/IWYB) You should enjoy it. I do. Being stupid and vapid isn't worthy of mockery, being stupid, vapid and acting like an intellectual superior most certainly is worthy.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at July 30, 2013 09:05 AM (da5Wo)

Well shee-itt, what Pappy Bloomers gon do now?

http://tinyurl.com/n2az2vz

Posted by: maddogg at July 30, 2013 09:05 AM (OlN4e)

51 I wonder if ace is blocked on her twitter feed?

Posted by: EC at July 30, 2013 09:05 AM (GQ8sn)

52 Yes yes, funny, but my question is, does Meagan McCain ever read these? Is she as likely as not to have forgotten she ever said anything about it? I mean, we're entertained, but I need to know that there is some way to get through her thick hide, and I suspect that is not happening. Posted by: BurtTC at July 30, 2013 01:04 PM (TOk1P) I'm sure she googles her name or checks twitchy for it every 20 - 30 mins.....when she's not eating.

Posted by: Tami[/i][/b][/u][/s] at July 30, 2013 09:05 AM (X6akg)

53 >>>I wonder if ace is blocked on her twitter feed?

i don't really tweet to her name. I don't even know for sure what her handle is. I don't know if she'd have had a chance to block me.

Posted by: ace at July 30, 2013 09:06 AM (/IWYB)

54 Any updates on the Manning verdict?

Posted by: EC at July 30, 2013 09:06 AM (GQ8sn)

55 Bradley Manning found not guilty of aiding the enemy. Found guilty of some other stuff.

Posted by: Tami[/i][/b][/u][/s] at July 30, 2013 09:06 AM (X6akg)

56 But as weÂ’ve learned, IÂ’ve sent some pretty funny tweets before ...

Posted by: Barack of Spades at July 30, 2013 09:06 AM (rcl6T)

57 Bradley Manning found not guilty of aiding the enemy.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 30, 2013 09:06 AM (lVPtV)

58 Not until she's a mute, blind, deaf nympho. With a flat top haircut...

Posted by: rickb223 at July 30, 2013 09:06 AM (bpzkI)

59 If a right winger cured cancer, the MFM meme would be: Evil, racist teabagger invents way to further overpopulate the Earth, rape more of Gaia's resources, will lead to economic and climate disasters.

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at July 30, 2013 09:06 AM (7ObY1)

60 "press agog at boob jiggle as she ascends steps to accept Nobel" Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at July 30, 2013 01:01 PM"

You say that like it's a bad thing....

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at July 30, 2013 09:06 AM (knoK7)

61 i don't really tweet to her name. I don't even know for sure what her handle is. I don't know if she'd have had a chance to block me. She will once she reads these! Hahahaha!!!

Posted by: EC at July 30, 2013 09:07 AM (GQ8sn)

62 Maybe she's some kind of double secret stealth comic genius. She's CarrotTop stuffed in Margaret Cho inside a fat blond Gallagher, like a comic turducken.

Posted by: zsasz at July 30, 2013 09:07 AM (MMC8r)

63 Sometimes, Ace insists upon himself. But maybe not today......

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes more nonsense ...... at July 30, 2013 09:07 AM (RFeQD)

64 I know when I'm running CPR on a patient, the family always comes back and asks for the fat nurse to leave the room. *rolls eyes*

Posted by: Conservative Crank at July 30, 2013 09:07 AM (sQ0LB)

65 MSNBC: "George Bush Cures Cancer, But Only If You're White"

Posted by: zsasz at July 30, 2013 09:07 AM (MMC8r)

66 Her Mom owns a beer distribution business and has her own race car team. I think Meghan just might be my idea of the perfect chick.

Posted by: MTF at July 30, 2013 01:00 PM (p/Sn/)

Or two.

Posted by: hindmost at July 30, 2013 09:08 AM (t6Jvs)

67 like a comic turducken.

What kinda gravy goes on that?

Posted by: HeideRadieschen at July 30, 2013 09:08 AM (/kI1Q)

Shorter ace, "I overslept and got nothing so here's what I was doing last night to hold you over."

Posted by: buzzion at July 30, 2013 09:08 AM (LI48c)

69 Does Drudge even try all that hard anymore? I've lost count of the number of times that big breaking news has been going on and nothing from him. He's still got the "Awaits his fate" headline up.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at July 30, 2013 09:08 AM (da5Wo)

70 Should we tell Ace that Meggie McCheeseburger will soon have her own show?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at July 30, 2013 09:08 AM (0HooB)

71 Not guilty of most serious charge but 15 of 16 of the next most serious charge. Probably 15- 20 years I am guessing

Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 30, 2013 09:08 AM (9Xc5j)

72 Manning found guilty of 15 or 16 other charges.

Posted by: Tami[/i][/b][/u][/s] at July 30, 2013 09:08 AM (X6akg)

73 MSDNC: Obama doesn't find cure for cancer, but he's still the most awesome president ever.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 30, 2013 09:09 AM (lVPtV)

74 Bradley Manning found not guilty of aiding the enemy. Found guilty of some other stuff. Posted by: Tami Are they going to give him his clothes back so he can start his career at Leavenworth making small rocks from big rocks? Or does he just get off with time served and severe reprimand?

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes more nonsense ...... at July 30, 2013 09:09 AM (RFeQD)

75 Hey, he must be reading here. Headline changed.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at July 30, 2013 09:09 AM (da5Wo)

76 i actually don't even enjoy making fun of her (feels un-gallant) but the whole premise of "curing cancer but all the press wants to talk about is your body type" was so funny and so full of jokes.

Maybe she's some kind of double secret stealth comic genius.

Posted by: ace at July 30, 2013 01:03 PM (/IWYB)

I just love that her tweet was so self-absorbed in the first place!

I think I could cure cancer and the headline would be: "Meghan McCain, voluptuous, really curvy, not skinny, maybe fat woman cures cancer".Â—

Meghan McCain (@MeghanMcCain) July 29, 2013

Meggie. Honey. Just say, "Meghan McCain, chick with bigger boobs than brain, cures cancer." Seriously. I hear "voluptuous" or "curvy," I envision someone with breasts, hips, and at the very least a spark of intelligence in their eyes.

I hear "Meghan McCain" and I envision a rabbit. Some type of snow hare.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at July 30, 2013 09:09 AM (4df7R)

77 How the fuck he is not guilty of aiding the enemy is beyond me. Fuckin fag, with all due respect any homosexuals out there

Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 30, 2013 09:09 AM (9Xc5j)

78 Your right Ace. Meggy is stoopid, and you were funny as you took her apart like a bucher dismembering a pig.

Posted by: maddogg at July 30, 2013 09:09 AM (OlN4e)

79 "Mitt Romney finds cure for cancer. Still keeping women in binders."

Posted by: Farmer Joe at July 30, 2013 09:10 AM (GLCZn)

80 like a comic turducken. What kinda gravy goes on that? Baby gravy.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 30, 2013 09:10 AM (bpzkI)

81 "I stumbled upon the cure while making one of my famous Twinkies Smoothies!".

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 30, 2013 09:10 AM (ZshNr)

82 48 Not until she's a mute, blind, deaf nympho. Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing ---------------------------------- One of those things is not like the others

Posted by: MTF at July 30, 2013 09:10 AM (C26bh)

83 Is Chris Hayes married? Because if he's not, he and Meggie Mac would make an interesting couple.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 30, 2013 09:10 AM (lVPtV)

What kinda gravy goes on that?

A Peruvian delicacy: cottage cheese gravy with apricot marmalade.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at July 30, 2013 09:10 AM (0HooB)

85 Drudge is saying "Acquitted"?

Posted by: EC at July 30, 2013 09:10 AM (GQ8sn)

86 Bradley Manning found not guilty of aiding the enemy.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 30, 2013 01:06 PM (lVPtV)

Fuck Bradley Manning with Meggie Mac's used dildo.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at July 30, 2013 09:10 AM (4df7R)

'So, if you were dying'.

By far the best one.

Posted by: garrett at July 30, 2013 09:11 AM (A8+/S)

88 47
Yes yes, funny, but my question is, does Meagan McCain ever read these? Is she as likely as not to have forgotten she ever said anything about it?

I mean, we're entertained, but I need to know that there is some way to get through her thick hide, and I suspect that is not happening.

Posted by: BurtTC at July 30, 2013 01:04 PM (TOk1P)

I think she has whined about mockery of her before. And I think she shut up for a while after iowahawks epic smackdown of her.

Posted by: buzzion at July 30, 2013 09:11 AM (LI48c)

89 How could he be found not guilty of aiding the enemy? Some of the stuff he released was found in OBL's lair.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 30, 2013 09:11 AM (lVPtV)

90 Meggie. Honey. Just say, "Meghan McCain, chick with bigger boobs than brain, cures cancer." Seriously. I hear "voluptuous" or "curvy," Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit So....you're saying that big boobs can cure cancer? Is there anything they CAN'T do?

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes more nonsense ...... at July 30, 2013 09:11 AM (RFeQD)

91 >CANCER CURED

SAVIOR OF MILLIONS LACKS SIX-PACK ABS<

I cried.

Maybe jiggled a bit.

Posted by: Marcus at July 30, 2013 09:11 AM (GGCsk)

92 Is Chris Hayes married? Because if he's not, he and Meggie Mac would make an interesting couple.

She does love gay men.

Posted by: HeideRadieschen at July 30, 2013 09:11 AM (/kI1Q)

93 Is Chris Hayes married? Because if he's not, he and Meggie Mac would make an interesting couple.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 30, 2013 01:10 PM (lVPtV)

They would have lovely but fucking STUPID children.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at July 30, 2013 09:11 AM (4df7R)

94 Acquitted of aiding the enemy, convicted of Espionage Act violations. So he dodged the big one, got the little ones. Sentencing TBD.

Posted by: joncelli at July 30, 2013 09:12 AM (RD7QR)

95 Grr, I was going to laugh at Big Mac, but nooooooooo stupid Manning had to get off.

Posted by: Lauren at July 30, 2013 09:12 AM (ELdpj)

96 OT: Bradley Manning found NOT GUILTY of most serious charges.

Posted by: WalrusRex at July 30, 2013 09:12 AM (Hx5uv)

and 'ungallant'?

Not the Ace I know.

Posted by: garrett at July 30, 2013 09:12 AM (A8+/S)

98 Drudge is saying "Acquitted"? Posted by: EC at July 30, 2013 01:10 PM (GQ8sn) Only of the most serious cahrge

Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 30, 2013 09:12 AM (9Xc5j)

99 74 Should we tell Ace that Meggie McCheeseburger will soon have her own show?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at July 30, 2013 01:08 PM (0HooB)

He knows. When the show was announced it spawned the whole "Young people can't have news" idiocy from her.

Posted by: buzzion at July 30, 2013 09:13 AM (LI48c)

100 If this were WW2 he would be lined up against a wall and shot already

Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 30, 2013 09:13 AM (9Xc5j)

101 Grr, I was going to laugh at Big Mac, but nooooooooo stupid Manning had to get off.

Posted by: Lauren at July 30, 2013 01:12 PM (ELdpj)

...

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at July 30, 2013 09:13 AM (4df7R)

102 How could he be found not guilty of aiding the enemy? Some of the stuff he released was found in OBL's lair. Posted by: Jane D'oh Because Dear Jane, that's a hangin' offense, and that would mean we'd hang that sucker. To quote Corporal Hudson... "Game over, man!" This way he gets to go to prison for a while and the Leftist A-holes get to make him a prison -political prisoner celebrity.

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes more nonsense ...... at July 30, 2013 09:13 AM (RFeQD)

103 Not to suck up to the boss here, but that's not even the funniest thing he did on Twitter last night. The marketing campaign for 69-proof liquor was hilarious.

Posted by: Andy at July 30, 2013 09:13 AM (cMb05)

104 BIG BOOBED, DUMBO THAT SOMEHOW ATTENDED AN IVY LEAGUE COLLEGE (THANKS DAD) CURES CANCER BY CRIBBING LEADING BLOGGERS EFFORTS

Posted by: Marcus at July 30, 2013 09:13 AM (GGCsk)

105 Madame Curie was quite svelte - especially after absorbing millions of X rays.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at July 30, 2013 09:13 AM (wzlt7)

106 Meghan McCain said something foolish. Okay, that's not the funny part. I'm the funny part.
----------

Such modesty, ace!
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at July 30, 2013 12:56 PM (4df7R)

It's so true! Am highly amused.

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at July 30, 2013 09:14 AM (v3pYe)

107 Yes, I know. Knew the second I hit post. Probably accurate though.

Posted by: Lauren at July 30, 2013 09:14 AM (ELdpj)

108 The only thing that tops this blog is sex.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at July 30, 2013 09:14 AM (IXrOn)

109 Fuck, Manning got off on aiding the enemy? Well, let's hope the other charges add up to a shitload of time. And if I'm not mistaken, FED/MIL prisoners generally serve the vast majority of their stated sentences.

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 30, 2013 09:14 AM (ZshNr)

110 Is Chris Hayes married? Yes. To a woman. An actual woman, I mean, not a tranny or gender-questioning woman. Kate Shaw, she's a law school professor.

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at July 30, 2013 09:14 AM (7ObY1)

111 I laughed until I stopped

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at July 30, 2013 09:14 AM (g3N/L)

112 There is nothing wrong with a good beaker.

Posted by: Scientist type guy at July 30, 2013 09:14 AM (rf6Jz)

113 "Commenter on rightwing blog cures cancer, displays awesome boob jiggle, tells assembled media representatives to "Get fucked by a rusty chainsaw, douchebuckets!" and leaves."

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at July 30, 2013 09:15 AM (4df7R)

114 "Dick Cheney finds cure for cancer. Shoots fellow researcher in the face."

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at July 30, 2013 09:15 AM (zF6Iw)

115 wonderful Brianna Manning acquitted....now watch them give Hasan a pass.

Posted by: sven10077 at July 30, 2013 09:15 AM (LRFds)

116 "If I cured cancer..."

...it would involve salt and a smokehouse. And by cancer, Meghan means "ham".

Posted by: Lizzy at July 30, 2013 09:15 AM (xvolr)

117 Breaking: Bradley Manning Found Not Guilty Of Aiding Enemy, But Guilty Of Multiple Espionage Counts

Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 30, 2013 09:15 AM (9Xc5j)

118 115 Is Chris Hayes married?

Yes. To a woman. An actual woman, I mean, not a tranny or gender-questioning woman. Kate Shaw, she's a law school professor.

Ah, a perfesser.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 30, 2013 09:15 AM (lVPtV)

119 "Twitchy," Ace?

I hear there are medications that can cure that.

Posted by: MrScribbler at July 30, 2013 09:15 AM (/RIVS)

120 Meggy could be the cure for birth control.... None needed...

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at July 30, 2013 09:15 AM (9+ccr)

121 If they give Hasan a pass. Well let's just say a lot of Texans wouldn't take kindly to that.

Posted by: Lauren at July 30, 2013 09:16 AM (ELdpj)

122 wonderful Brianna Manning acquitted....now watch them give Hasan a pass. Posted by: sven10077 at July 30, 2013 01:15 PM (LRFds) Only of the most serious charge. he will still spend the next 20 years of his fucked up life in prison and hopefully die a painfull death

Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 30, 2013 09:16 AM (9Xc5j)

123 OK, Meghan, you want the world to stop all that judginess go ahead and stop posting pictures of yourself. Also, wear a burka on TV.
Don't think you want to be judged on your brain.

Posted by: Lizzy at July 30, 2013 09:16 AM (xvolr)

124

Losing 10 lbs is probably easier than curing cancer. She should probably start there. Keeping it off is probably harder than keeping cancer cured.

Posted by: Dirks Strewn at July 30, 2013 09:16 AM (VLifP)

125 120 wonderful Brianna Manning acquitted....now watch them give Hasan a pass.

Presidential pardon.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 30, 2013 09:16 AM (lVPtV)

126 Ah, a perfesser.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 30, 2013 01:15 PM (lVPtV)

In law school. It's, like, a twofer of awesome. And by awesome I mean assfaced stupid.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at July 30, 2013 09:17 AM (4df7R)

127 117 There is nothing wrong with a good beaker.

Posted by: Scientist type guy at July 30, 2013 01:14 PM (rf6Jz)

Ace was hoping for a test tube.

Posted by: buzzion at July 30, 2013 09:17 AM (LI48c)

128 119 "Dick Cheney finds cure for cancer. Shoots fellow researcher in the face." Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at July 30, 2013 01:15 PM (zF6Iw) I think it was Lewis Black who did a bit about that. "Just think about this...he shot another man, in the face, and the guy that got shot goes on national tv and apologizes. How fucking scary do you have to be to swing that???" *I'm paraphrasing from memory of course*

Posted by: BCochran1981 at July 30, 2013 09:17 AM (da5Wo)

129 Is Chris Hayes married?

Yes. To a woman. An actual woman, I mean, not a tranny or gender-questioning woman. Kate Shaw, she's a law school professor. Posted by: BlueStateRebel at July 30, 2013 01:14 PM

It's not his fault. He can't do anything about his sexual orientation, although, he's probably tried and tried and tried.

Posted by: huerfano at July 30, 2013 09:17 AM (bAGA/)

130 To a woman. An actual woman, I mean, not a tranny or gender-questioning woman. Kate Shaw, she's a law school professor.

Double beard?

Seems odd. You'd think being a lesbian would be a bonus to get you hired as a law school professor.

Posted by: HeideRadieschen at July 30, 2013 09:17 AM (/kI1Q)

131 Madame Curie was quite svelte - especially after absorbing millions of X rays. Posted by: Vashta Nerada She lived to be nearly 90, died of cancer, and at the end her jawbone was just about hanging out from the deterioration of her flesh (while she was still alive). Humping all the pitchblende to separate out radium did that, I think. Harder to do than most diets.

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes more nonsense ...... at July 30, 2013 09:17 AM (RFeQD)

132 If this were WW2 he would be lined up against a wall and shot already

Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 30, 2013 01:13 PM (9Xc5j)

If this were WWII, most of DC would be lined up against a wall and shot already.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at July 30, 2013 09:17 AM (zF6Iw)

133 Who is this Ace person? He's kinda funny. Maybe he needs to start a blog.

Posted by: Soona at July 30, 2013 09:17 AM (fnMtM)

134 First: I think "Hagan-Daaz stuffed pork chop" was unfairly banned and should be redeployed.

Second: Does this post insist on itself?

Posted by: RoyalOil at July 30, 2013 09:17 AM (VjL9S)

135 All those cancer hospitals closing, all those hard-working employees losing their jobs. Not to mention all the lost jobs at the pharmaceutical companies. Pure economic catastrophe all because some smarty-smart teabagger just had to go and cure cancer. Ed Schultz alone could get a month's worth of shows out of it.

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at July 30, 2013 09:17 AM (7ObY1)

136 94 How could he be found not guilty of aiding the enemy? Some of the stuff he released was found in OBL's lair.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 30, 2013 01:11 PM (lVPtV)

Well, OBL *is* dead, so how much did it really help him?

But yeah, agreed that it's ridiculous - are we supposed to believe that America's enemies don't have freakin' Internet access? That they won't propagandize anything remotely damaging?

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at July 30, 2013 09:18 AM (sGtp+)

137 but the whole premise of "curing cancer but all the press wants to talk about is your body type" was so funny and so full of jokes. One funny part is that there are people for whom discovering the cure would mean the media would have to find some way to downplay it. I once did a joke headline Bush snubs AIDS sufferers: Bush Â“cancer cureÂ” amounts to AIDS death sentence, say medical activists and watchdog groups.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at July 30, 2013 09:18 AM (QF8uk)

138 If I found a cure for cancer, Obama would say "you didn't find that"

Posted by: Mallfly at July 30, 2013 09:18 AM (bJm7W)

139 The 69 stuff was pretty funny too--but I do think the fat cancer cure was better.

Posted by: Conservative Crank at July 30, 2013 09:18 AM (sQ0LB)

140 Madame Curie was quite svelte - especially after absorbing millions of X rays. X rays never get more than halfway through Meggie.

Posted by: zsasz at July 30, 2013 09:18 AM (MMC8r)

141 And now.... Meghan McCain jumping on a trampoline! THUD!!!

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes more nonsense ...... at July 30, 2013 09:18 AM (RFeQD)

142 "Dick Cheney finds cure for cancer. Shoots fellow researcher in the face." Dieing from lead poisoning is NOT dieing from cancer.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 30, 2013 09:19 AM (bpzkI)

143 That fucking traitor released the names of Afghans who were helping our troops. How many people died because of the stupid twit?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 30, 2013 09:19 AM (lVPtV)

144 if Meghan McCain found a cure for cancer, it would prove that there's another Meghan McCain who isn't a blockhead.

Posted by: Mallfly at July 30, 2013 09:19 AM (bJm7W)

145 Double beard? Seems odd. You'd think being a lesbian would be a bonus to get you hired as a law school professor. Maybe Chris catches and Kate straps one on and pitches?

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at July 30, 2013 09:19 AM (7ObY1)

146 If I found a cure for cancer, Obama would say "you didn't find that" If you found a cure for cancer TFG would say "You're welcome".

Posted by: eleven at July 30, 2013 09:20 AM (KXm42)

147 Why drudge puts up acquitted is beyond me

Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 30, 2013 09:20 AM (9Xc5j)

148 what I'd like to see is Meghan McCain find a cure for her father.

Posted by: Mallfly at July 30, 2013 09:20 AM (bJm7W)

149 George Zimmerman Cures Cancer. Publicity Stunt?

Posted by: MSNBC at July 30, 2013 09:20 AM (WCe8r)

150

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 30, 2013 01:19 PM (lVPtV)

They did find him guilty of espionage, so I 'm wondering if "aiding the enemy" is one of those highly legal terms in the UCMJ.

Posted by: tsrblke at July 30, 2013 09:20 AM (GaqMa)

151 Whoa! Somebody has changed their tune: "Lindsay Lohan 'wants to extend her stay in rehab by a few more days' as she considers transition period in sober living facility."

Posted by: Hands Off My Weiner! at July 30, 2013 09:20 AM (tCBZk)

152 >>I once did a joke headline Bush snubs AIDS sufferers: Bush Â“cancer cureÂ” amounts to AIDS death sentence, say medical activists and watchdog groups.

I recall an NPR story a few years into the Iraq war where they were a bit pissy about how modern battlefield medicine had resulted in fewer troops dying. The tone was along the lines of "is it such a good thing that there are so many more troops alive having to deal with major injuries?"

Posted by: Lizzy at July 30, 2013 09:21 AM (xvolr)

153 Ace's tweets were great. Zsasz's posts are pretty damned funny, too.

Posted by: kathysaysso at July 30, 2013 09:21 AM (6H6o8)

154 what I'd like to see is Meghan McCain find a cure for her father. Easier to find cure for cancer.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 30, 2013 09:21 AM (bpzkI)

155 They did find him guilty of espionage, so I 'm wondering if "aiding the enemy" is one of those highly legal terms in the UCMJ. Posted by: tsrblke at July 30, 2013 01:20 PM (GaqMa) Probably but if I were that Judge!!!!!!!

Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 30, 2013 09:21 AM (9Xc5j)

156 146 And now.... Meghan McCain jumping on a trampoline!

THUD!!!

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes more nonsense ...... at July 30, 2013 01:18 PM (RFeQD)

Now you know why The Man Show was cancelled....

Posted by: Adam Carolla at July 30, 2013 09:21 AM (ggRof)

157 Kate Shaw, she's a law school professor. Ah, a perfesser. Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 30, 2013 01:15 PM (lVPtV) No, a law school "professor". Imagine a real professor but without reason or accountability.

Posted by: AmishDude at July 30, 2013 09:21 AM (T0NGe)

158 That was funny, Ace. Thanks That WOULD be an AOS member reaction: at the Nobel Prize Cmtee: CHAIR: What about her? She cured cancer. MEMBER (looking at pic): ehnn... she really doesn't... "Do It" for me? 10:59 PM - 29 Jul 2013

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 30, 2013 09:22 AM (iQit/)

159 152 Why drudge puts up acquitted is beyond me

Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 30, 2013 01:20 PM (9Xc5j)

Gets more hits than "Acquitted of Most Serious Charge But Still Will Become Private Bubba's Rent Boy in the Joint".

Posted by: joncelli at July 30, 2013 09:22 AM (RD7QR)

160 If they give Hasan a pass. Well let's just say a lot of Texans wouldn't take kindly to that. Posted by: Lauren at July 30, 2013 01:16 PM

Since the zit-faced little fuck is going to get a wrist-slap compared to what he should have received, can't help wondering if some pressure might have been exerted by the CinC.

Leaking info to the enemy hasn't really been a crime since Bubba was in the White House, you know. I'm convinced that Choom Boy has passed along a lot more secrets.

Hoping Hasan gets a Lead Injection or, better, a rope for what he did. But I'm also sure President Historic FirstÂ© wants to invite him to the next Eid dinner.

Posted by: MrScribbler at July 30, 2013 09:22 AM (/RIVS)

161

If I found a cure for cancer, Obama would say "you didn't find that"

If you found a cure for cancer TFG would say "You're welcome".

If you found a cure for cancer TFG would say "You'd think you'd be thanking me!"

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at July 30, 2013 09:22 AM (zF6Iw)

162 BREAKING NEWS 1:10 p.m. EDT: Bradley Manning found not guilty of aiding the enemy as court-martial judge reads verdict. This story will update soon.

Posted by: RWC at July 30, 2013 09:23 AM (fWAjv)

163 Gets more hits than "Acquitted of Most Serious Charge But Still Will Become Private Bubba's Rent Boy in the Joint".

Posted by: joncelli at July 30, 2013 01:22 PM (RD7QR)

He'll probably enjoy it. Blond Pube is going to be quite popular.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at July 30, 2013 09:23 AM (4df7R)

164 Lindsay Lohan 'wants to extend her stay in rehab by a few more days' as she considers transition period in sober living facility." Something tells me LiLo has a l'il thang goin' on with her cellmate, Bertha McButch.

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at July 30, 2013 09:23 AM (7ObY1)

165 Whoa! Somebody has changed their tune: "Lindsay Lohan 'wants to extend her stay in rehab by a few more days' as she considers transition period in sober living facility." IOW, her homemade hootch isn't ready yet.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 30, 2013 09:23 AM (bpzkI)

166 Look at the upside, Private Manning, you've already taken it up the ass, you're way ahead of most of these guys.

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 30, 2013 09:24 AM (ZshNr)

167 Not so BREAKING I guess.

Posted by: RWC at July 30, 2013 09:24 AM (fWAjv)

168 If you found a cure for cancer TFG would say Obamacare doesn't cover it, so the FDA will not approve it.

Posted by: Lizzy at July 30, 2013 09:24 AM (xvolr)

169 Has Ace asked Meggie Mac out on a date? I'm just asking. Asking for a friend. Yeah, yeah, that's it, a friend...

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie ® at July 30, 2013 09:24 AM (1hM1d)

170 I think Mount Meghan prefers bisexual biker guys with dick tattoos, so Ace would need to buy a motorcycle.

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 30, 2013 09:26 AM (ZshNr)

171 Meghan only cured cancer in sharks apparently. But we got that going for us. Fatter sharks in the next "Sharknado".

Posted by: dfbaskwill at July 30, 2013 09:28 AM (71LDo)

172 "Meghan McCain Cancer Cure Entails Smothering It In Fat"

Posted by: zsasz at July 30, 2013 09:29 AM (MMC8r)

173 You KILLED it, Ace. Best twitter movie, EVER.

Posted by: Steve0521 at July 30, 2013 09:30 AM (kyAWi)

174

I recall an NPR story a few years into the Iraq war where they were a bit pissy about how modern battlefield medicine had resulted in fewer troops dying. The tone was along the lines of "is it such a good thing that there are so many more troops alive having to deal with major injuries?"
-------------

Was it about better helmets for the troops leading to more concussions (because the helmets were keeping the troops from being outright killed)? I remember the LA Times had a headline on that several years ago.

Posted by: junior at July 30, 2013 09:30 AM (UWFpX)

175 re 173: agreed, years of testing followed by weeks of cures followed by endless lawsuits.

but anyway, if Meghan McCain found a cure for cancer, it would also show that God could create a rock so big that He couldn't move it. He could call the rock... well, who was that guy the spent the whole day in bed eating while crying that he has a disease, he can't stop eating? God could name the rock after him.

Posted by: Mallfly at July 30, 2013 09:30 AM (bJm7W)

176 I liked the self deprecating one a lot too: 1 Cancer Cured 2 Apparently by Magic 3 By Guy Who Could Stand a Go on the Treadmill 10:41 PM - 29 Jul 2013

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 30, 2013 09:30 AM (iQit/)

177 Very funny! Thank God for Twitchy. I was wondering if I would have to screencap for teh husband (who's not on twitter). (He became a Moron during the epic Rep Weiner 2010 dick pics 1.0)

Posted by: AmericanGypsea at July 30, 2013 09:31 AM (PY5T+)

178 In fact, the mostly all sound like AOS member reactions.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 30, 2013 09:32 AM (iQit/)

179 can we get a re cap of the 69 tweets? Can't get twitter here.

Posted by: Murphy Bush at July 30, 2013 09:33 AM (ceoOP)

180 Lohan was ordered to go into this rehab for 90 days which she did. She was not ordered to go into a sober living facility afterwards which she is doing on her own.

Posted by: Hands Off My Weiner! at July 30, 2013 09:35 AM (tCBZk)

181 I recall an NPR story a few years into the Iraq war If you remember the URL, IÂ’d love to see this. For values of love equivalent to disgust. Jerry

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at July 30, 2013 09:37 AM (QF8uk)

182 Lohan was ordered to go into this rehab for 90 days which she did. She was not ordered to go into a sober living facility afterwards which she is doing on her own. Posted by: Hands Off My Weiner! at July 30, 2013 01:35 PM (tCBZk) Good for her. Hopefully it lasts.

Posted by: RWC at July 30, 2013 09:37 AM (fWAjv)

183 The Made Up Album (or Song) Thread
http://tinyurl.com/lu7lsdg

Wonder if, by the end of the day, this will have over 2000 comments?

Posted by: caustic at July 30, 2013 09:44 AM (/b8+5)

184 "Voluptuous, really curvy, not skinny, maybe fat......." Yeah, I've passed by thousands of these broads over at Snatch.com

Posted by: Haymaker Harry at July 30, 2013 09:44 AM (r9IFY)

185 11 How fat can someone get and still be able make a living under their father's shadow. Uh, asking for a friend. Posted by: Defiantly not Meghan McCain at July 30, 2013 12:59 PM (rCS6C) ROFLMAO!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars[/i][/b][/s] at July 30, 2013 09:52 AM (p12qs)

186 i don't really tweet to her name. I don't even know for sure what her handle is. I don't know if she'd have had a chance to block me.

Ace, That's even funnier to me than the actual tweets. Not caring about the proper Tweet etiquette is Teh Funnie!

Posted by: dfbaskwill at July 30, 2013 09:53 AM (71LDo)

187 Meggie Mac doesn't know what hardship is. I actually did cure cancer once, and the press was all like, "Offensive commenter at right wing hate blog violates court order against possession of chemistry paraphernalia, live test subjects." Forest and trees, people.

Posted by: Phinn at July 30, 2013 10:00 AM (nYfID)

188 i'll redo the 69 thing later, I think.

The one problem with doing that is... it's actually not all that funny. Part of what makes it funny is that it was spontaneous. When I re-do it here, it won't be spontaneous. So the level of scrutiny increases, and I don't know if it can stand up to that scrutiny.

it's the difference between your friend saying something funny over drinks and seeing the same line in a movie. Spontaneous, it's funny. But if you see it a movie you're like, 'You had years to write this, this is the best you could come up with?"

I do some jokes on Twitter for that reason, that they don't seem capable of surviving the scrutiny of a Published Post. Like, same thing with comments, I think. It's funnier when you know someone just thought of it and wrote it in three seconds.

Posted by: ace at July 30, 2013 10:03 AM (/IWYB)

189 instead of doing it in a post I'll just slip it into the comments.

Posted by: ace at July 30, 2013 10:04 AM (/IWYB)

190 You horrible, sexist, awful person, Mr. O'Spades! A little fat man in an Ewok costume who spends all day involved with Internet porn and sexually molesting homeless people has no right to say anything unkind to a brave female intellectual like Meghan McCain. Her courageous bipartisanship inspires young women everywhere. You on the other hand are nothing but a provider of online hangout space for terrible right-wing racists and sexist idiots. And there IS no cure for that except government regulations to shut you and your kind down forever!

Posted by: Mary Cloggenstein from Brattleboro, Vermont at July 30, 2013 10:18 AM (jCQ+I)

191 I wonder if people would pay money to see Meghan and Mary Clog scissor?

Posted by: Hands Off My Weiner! at July 30, 2013 10:32 AM (tCBZk)

192 I wasn't expecting beaker jokes.

Posted by: Sarahw at July 30, 2013 10:33 AM (LYwCh)

193 I cured impotence

Posted by: Ms. Tig Ol Bitties at July 30, 2013 10:33 AM (vYB+W)

194 The way it is around here, her tweet was actually correct. Not a post goes by without reference to her weight.

Posted by: Alex #11 at July 30, 2013 10:43 AM (zOAK+)

195 Meghaton:
"Does this Nobel Prize make me look fat?"
*Chomp*
"Oooh, never mind - chocolate inside!"

Posted by: LiveFromRussianHill at July 30, 2013 11:17 AM (nbrug)

196 195. You're snark is almost as funny as ace's. Reading your comments remind me of the original SNL cast member's line: (...chirp...) "Never mind." [Radner as Emily Litella]

Posted by: I.I. at July 30, 2013 11:21 AM (MhA4j)

197 Bah, meggy mccain I just had a cancerous tumor cut out of my thyroid last week, and you're no cancer doc. The lady doc who cut it out of me, actually has a brain and is quite talented with a scapel. Also doesn't focus on her Dr. title which of course means I always call her doctor since she's earned it. Oh, she's married to another doctor with like 4-5 kids. Not some spoiled fat attention whore like you mccain. I'd pay real money if that dungaree hating fossil george will would bitch slap boobs mccain on "this week". Oxycodone feels goood. The cut in my neck not so much.

Posted by: JS at July 30, 2013 12:10 PM (sx7nf)

198 I think I could mount Meghan McCain and the headline would be: "Meghan McCain, voluminous, really skeevy, not skinny, maybe fat woman chimp-fucked by Skip Tracer."

Posted by: Skip Tracer at July 30, 2013 04:22 PM (2+bRt)

199 Heeeeeee-larious!!

Posted by: OutspokenRed at July 30, 2013 04:40 PM (mlOTS)

200

Oddly, I'm willing to offer Meghan a little goodwill simply for having a sense of humor about herself.

Sadly, she appears to think that she has significant skills beyond her patrimony and bust. She's generally pleasant and reasonable, but not a source of intellectual depth for serious issues.

Best Regards,

Posted by: CAPT Mike at July 30, 2013 10:02 PM (DiQnH)

Hide Comments | Add Comment | Refresh | Top

Comments are disabled. Post is locked.

156kb generated in CPU 0.2448, elapsed 0.4966 seconds.
64 queries taking 0.4591 seconds, 328 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.