September 22, 2013

When stupid people attack - a case study
— Purple Avenger

OK, Ace posted a largely academic piece on stupid people with math'n shit, or at least a math symbol 's'. Theory is nice and all, but most people relate to practical real life examples better.

Today I dealt with a very real world stupid person attack that cost me about $230 out of pocket and several hours of nasty labor to get things put back to normal.

The first clue I was "under attack" - a $200+ water bill, when the bill is normally ~$30. I check everything inside the house - no leaks, same with the outside hoses. All tight as a drum.

Now working back towards the water meter...AHHH, soft wet earth, water bubbling up out of the meter's protective enclosure...

...It seems my known stupid person neighbor has been driving over the protective enclosure pushing it further and further into the ground until it put so much pressure on the PVC fitting coming out of the meter it cracked. Worn down grass and tire tracks on the sidewalk make for pretty conclusive evidence of his "slow motion" stupid attack.

See, this area isn't even his actual driveway, that's on the other side of his lot. He just plunked a few pavers down to park on without any consideration of the municipal infrastructure that may lay below unseen. Miss the pavers by a few inches pulling in drunk and you've driven over the meter enclosure. The good news -- its a dual meter enclosure that has his meter in it too...and HIS water pipe goes right under where he's been parking, so he'll wind up with a similar failure eventually too...which he's too stupid to be able to repair himself. A plumber would be wanting at least $500 for this kinda nasty job.

Two trips to Home Depot, the first for a curb key to turn the municipal source off. The second for parts hours later after digging up a huge sodden root choked mess to expose the busted fitting and enough pipe so a repair could be executed.

All in all, it was a lousy freaking Sunday. This filthy nasty, digging and root chopping repair was NOT what I had planned AT ALL...but when I opened up that water bill last night, the attack of a stupid person had decided how my Sunday would be spent.

The pipe repair itself was trivial, 10 minutes tops start to finish. Stupid person neighbor came out as I was finishing up to see what was going on. I explained the failure mechanism to him, got a shrug, and he walked away. No offer to cover some of my huge water bill, no "gee I'm sorry I didn't know I should not drive over easily broken shallowly buried infrastructure".

This same stupid person has managed to cut my phone line twice while digging in his yard...even though the phone company will come out and flag cable locations for free. Its axiomatic - stupid people NEVER avail themselves of free stupidity mitigating services. Ever.

I smartened up with that 2nd phone line cut and decided to "stupid proof" for the future. The AT&T repair tech agreed it might be prudent to sleeve the bulk of the cable above ground in PVC conduit strapped to my house where digging by stupid people wouldn't cut it again. Just to be sure, I used heavy Schedule 80 conduit which is pretty damn tough stuff. Even stupid people are gonna have to work hard to bust through Schedule 80 conduit.

I think AT&T sent the stupid person a bill for $300 for the repairs, since the last cut was flagrant, and the stupid person even tried to hide it by burying concrete blocks on top of the cut. I helped the AT&T tech dig that up and he was kinda pissed someone would try to hide the damage they caused like that...and it was the 2nd time. If the stupid person hadn't tried to hide it with the buried blocks, the AT&T guy would have let it slide.

Its not paranoia when they
really are out to get you

Posted by: Purple Avenger at 03:42 PM | Comments (226)
Post contains 699 words, total size 4 kb.

1 Stupid

Posted by: Mike Hammer at September 22, 2013 03:43 PM (aDwsi)

2 Even stupid people are gonna have to work hard to bust through Schedule 80 conduit. ---------------------------- Not if they are using a trenching machine.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at September 22, 2013 03:44 PM (aDwsi)

3 Purp- We had polybutylene water pipe. Bubbled up in the front yard next to the meter the day my first born was due to be born. No small amount of panic (and screaming at the land lord) set in.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at September 22, 2013 03:45 PM (4Mv1T)

4 they are the 99%

Posted by: joe mack at September 22, 2013 03:48 PM (ZGKN0)

5 How do you prevent stupid neighbor from repeating this particular bit of destruction?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 22, 2013 03:49 PM (DmNpO)

6 stupid people NEVER avail themselves of free stupidity mitigating services. Ever. ------------------------------ If I never kill my own offspring over this fact, it will be a blessing to said offspring, and my eternal soul.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at September 22, 2013 03:49 PM (4Mv1T)

7 similar to Genesis, dumb people beget dumb people..

Posted by: soothsayer at September 22, 2013 03:50 PM (dVC4M)

8 bad day?

Posted by: common sense at September 22, 2013 03:51 PM (azmhu)

9 Can we invade and make this a de facto football thread? It's not as if the NFL is lacking for Stupid.

Posted by: logprof at September 22, 2013 03:52 PM (fOFYL)

10 False start penalties at home #stupidattack

Posted by: steevy at September 22, 2013 03:52 PM (9XBK2)

11 The Book Of Dumb. In the beginning, Moron begat Imbecile. Imbecile begat Dummy. Dummy begat Stupid. Stupid begat Lunkhead...

Posted by: soothsayer at September 22, 2013 03:52 PM (dVC4M)

12 I've had that sort of problem at least once: two family house, incompetent relative downstairs doesn't notice the toilet running nonstop. No joke, water bill was about maybe twenty times what it should have been.

Posted by: mallfly at September 22, 2013 03:53 PM (jDjlM)

13 >> Its axiomatic - stupid people NEVER avail themselves of free stupidity mitigating services. Ever. If they did, they wouldn't be stupid. Yup, axiomatic.

Posted by: Andy at September 22, 2013 03:53 PM (0ZQCB)

14 Can we invade and make this a de facto football thread? It's not as if the NFL is lacking for Stupid. *** And since it's a 'stupid' thread, let's add the Emmys as well.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 22, 2013 03:53 PM (DmNpO)

15 The Book Of Dumb.

In duh beginning,

There, I fixed it

Posted by: boulder texan hobo at September 22, 2013 03:54 PM (d7tB2)

16 Plumbing is the worst. I hate plumbing. Stupid plumbing.

Posted by: Freak Out! at September 22, 2013 03:55 PM (U7FDe)

17 Let's make it a HISPANIC!!!! football thread!

Posted by: Bruce at September 22, 2013 03:56 PM (94FsK)

18 And since it's a 'stupid' thread, let's add the Emmys as well. Have I mentioned I have a new TV show?

Posted by: Meghan McCain at September 22, 2013 03:56 PM (IDypm)

19 I work with Teh Stewwwpid. I knew I had a problem when I start prefacing my gripe sessions with "So, my furry coworker..." That's right. I work with a fucking furry.

Posted by: Munenori at September 22, 2013 03:58 PM (e0JwT)

20 I'm not stupid. I'm smarter than you.

Posted by: Joe Biden at September 22, 2013 03:58 PM (VSIZA)

21 If you have an honest face, and hold your hat in your hand, you just might be able to negotiate that water fee down a little, or at least get it parceled out into interest-free payments. I have known such things to happen. Or, sue the neighbor.

This is why it's hard to work up a lot of enthusiasm for disaster-resistant buried electrical service for the entire country. Though, they do knock the poles down too.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at September 22, 2013 03:58 PM (JNUY4)

22 Plumbing is easy, just a hacksaw and a can of glue. Now when a bear attacks your fence by the gatepost you're gonna need something stronger than glue to fix it up. Something like baling wire and coat hangers. And some plastic bags to hang on the fence to scare the bugger off.

Posted by: JimK at September 22, 2013 03:58 PM (+R7VH)

23 >>>How do you prevent stupid neighbor from repeating this particular bit of destruction? Couple Jerry cans of gas and a book of matches seems like a good place to start.

Posted by: DC in Towson at September 22, 2013 03:59 PM (eQJwb)

24

and one day, since this seems to be something others can identify with, I notice a puddle on the basement floor. Is one of the washing machine hoses leaking? I look up and see the crappy ceiling is wet...

So I go upstairs and see a large puddle on the relative's bathroom floor (leaking value in the bathroom sink.) I almost holler "didn't you see the puddle on your floor???" and said relative replies... "Well, I thought something might be wrong..." or words to that effect.

 

Democrat...

Posted by: mallfly at September 22, 2013 03:59 PM (jDjlM)

25 I had a situation like that a few years ago. Well, my neighbor did. The leak occurred next to a hose bib a couple feet from her driveway. She ran her car right next to it often enough to crack the underground pvc pipe, and it started leaking....bad. I found out about this only after her water bill went from 100 bucks, to eight hundred bucks, (she knew about the leak the whole time, btw...but didn't think it was a big deal). After she complained to my wife, and my wife notified me, another neighbor and I dug it up, cut the hose bib out completely, and capped the line. She continued running her car over the same spot, which was off her paved driveway, until the capped pipe cracked, and started leaking again. After she ignored the new leak for a while, the bill came in, and she tried to blame me, and the other neighbor that helped fix her first leak, with the subsequent leak. I refused to do anything more for her other than standing on my driveway, one hand in my pocket, the other wrapped around a nice cold beer, as she mucked around the mud she'd created. Other neighbor was of the same mind. Eventually she paid someone to dig it up, cut the line before the break, cap it, and shovel dirt over it. She continued driving over the same damn spot.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at September 22, 2013 04:00 PM (sCynV)

26 How do you prevent stupid neighbor from repeating this particular bit of destruction?

I lifted the enclosure up a bit before backfilling and came out of the (metal) water meter with a brass nipple long enough to extend past the enclosure before transitioning to PVC.   The brass nipple should be able to take more abuse than a PVC male adapter the original plumbers used.

Ideally, in new construction you'd put a large'ish concrete pad underneath the whole mess and have the enclosure rest on that pad.  The enclosure is only a box without a bottom, so it only rests on the edges. 

In northers states this isn't as much of a problem as stuff is buried below the frost line.  Here in south FL, they bury it shallow cuz no deep freezes.

Posted by: Purp PhD/MD/Esq/Nobel Laureate[/i][/b][/u][/s] at September 22, 2013 04:00 PM (9MLX+)

27 Speaking of stupid... Most of you probably know I teach high school. Once at a parent/teacher conference, I had a parent ask me what her lazy ass son could do to get a D. She wasn't interested in getting extra help or missing homework, no sir, she just wanted to know what Jr. could do to get a D. Un-freaking-believable.

Posted by: Jmel at September 22, 2013 04:00 PM (cfFqn)

28 Just the mention of stupid brings out Joe Biden. Hey Biden! Bite me!

Posted by: Freak Out! at September 22, 2013 04:01 PM (U7FDe)

29 My stupid neighbor's dog barks all day and night. We complained to him, and he said, "He's always got a good reason to bark. And he's just talking. You're the only one it bothers."

Not true, because someone threw about five boxes' worth of Sees' chocolates over the fence into the yard. Chocolate will kill dogs. My stupid neighbor had taken the dog to the vet that day, so when he came home, he found the chocolates before they killed his dog. Then he sent his son over to confront me.

I opened my door to a kid who's six-three, four feet across, and three hundred pounds, tattooed from head to toe.

"You tried to kill my dog," he whispered.

I realized that if he charged me, there was nothing I could do. I'd need an elephant gun to stop him. Somehow I convinced him that it wasn't us. Because it wasn't. He's stupid, so despite his size, he's afraid of smart people.

But I was sweating bullets. Stupid, gigantic, and ready to kill is really about as bad as bad can get.

Posted by: Tacky Adhesive at September 22, 2013 04:01 PM (TJw7K)

30 You don't even KNOW what stupid is! It's about to get all stupid in here!!!

Posted by: Michael Scott at September 22, 2013 04:01 PM (fOFYL)

31 "5 How do you prevent stupid neighbor from repeating this particular bit of destruction?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 22, 2013 07:49 PM (DmNpO)"



Depends on how much work you want to do and how concerned you are about appearance and the good will of your stupid neighbor.



Probably the easiest is to get a section of re-bar and pound it into the ground near the water meter and at the edge of the property.  If you want to pretend, put a plastic reflector on it.  If not, just let it fuck up his car when he runs into it.  Even if it is painted Dayglo yellow and covered with reflectors, he will still blame you when he runs into it (and he will) but A) it is on your property B) you get the satisfaction of seeing him fuck up his car.



If you want to keep the deterrent attractive, you put in a raised garden with a rock retaining wall but that is a lot of work and money.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-hole at September 22, 2013 04:01 PM (31Nrp)

32

Any chance of getting the City to bill dipstick for the water? 

Or write it off to one of their accounts? 

 

Barring that, do you want to start a peeing match with a small claims court?

Posted by: rd at September 22, 2013 04:01 PM (D+lxs)

33 Let's make it a HISPANIC!!!! football thread!

Holy shit, that made me so mad I turned football off completely.  If I wanted the spanish broadcast, I would have put on one of the spanish language channels. 

Posted by: no good deed at September 22, 2013 04:02 PM (k55Fc)

34 Oh, and I had a similar water problem. A three hundred dollar electric bill for the pump that normally runs 10 bucks a month. It was after a hurricane a few years ago when a neighbors pine tree fell into a small artificial pond on the back of my property. The tree broke the fill pipe and was hidden by the tree limbs. I didn't figure it out until the bill came.

Posted by: JimK at September 22, 2013 04:02 PM (+R7VH)

35 Stupid people who run over your water meter are a nuisance and expensive.  I had drunk people run over my gas meter twice.  In the winter, in sub-freezing weather while the fire department, police department and gas company guy made everything safe for hours.  Didn't cost me anything, but the drunks spent time in jail and got to pay for the damage.

Posted by: huerfano at September 22, 2013 04:02 PM (bAGA/)

36 That's right. I work with a fucking furry. Posted by: Munenori at September 22, 2013 07:58 PM (e0JwT) You have been reported for insensitivity to Furry Kind. btw your hash says "Tw Joe" backwards, whatever that means.

Posted by: HoboJerky, Hash Hunter at September 22, 2013 04:02 PM (CgVEi)

37 Someone once told me that stupid people are stupid because their mental hard drive won't spin up to full speed.
And they suggested that a judicious tap along side the noggin with a baseball bat will sometimes jog it loose, and let it come up to speed.

Give it a try...can't hurt.


Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at September 22, 2013 04:03 PM (XJzm5)

38 Somewhere there is a guy laying on a slab in a morgue who wasn't paranoid enough.

Posted by: Buzzion at September 22, 2013 04:03 PM (myRkn)

39 Yay! A bitch about the neighbors post! My new neighbor is a nightmare in the making. Good neighbors, why so hard to come by?

Posted by: Derak at September 22, 2013 04:04 PM (G37IF)

40 Purp, call the water company and explain (briefly, succinctly).  They will usually cut you a credit for shit like this.  Sorry for your day of suckitude, buddy.

Posted by: Peaches at September 22, 2013 04:04 PM (8lmkt)

41 Many people apparently think Fredo was a character to emulate.

Posted by: HoboJerky, Hash Hunter at September 22, 2013 04:05 PM (CgVEi)

42

"Sonsabitches Bumpases!!"

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at September 22, 2013 04:05 PM (kdS6q)

43 Be sure to plant a bollard or two to protect the meter, or dumbass will drive over it again.

Be sure to drag him through small claims court as well.

Posted by: Kristophr at September 22, 2013 04:05 PM (c6N69)

44 If I wanted the spanish broadcast, I would have put on one of the spanish language channels.
Posted by: no good deed

It used to be if you turned on the SAP for the football games, there was no announcer at all. Just the crowd noise and the stadium announcer. I would do this for the games that I was half watching/reading. No GD announcer telling me 20 times about the 2 yard pass play.

Posted by: Bruce at September 22, 2013 04:05 PM (94FsK)

45 She wasn't interested in getting extra help or missing homework, no sir, she just wanted to know what Jr. could do to get a D. Un-freaking-believable.

Was the stupid offspring an athlete?  That's the difference between playing a season and sitting out.  I'm not disparaging student athletes.  I wuz won. 

Posted by: no good deed at September 22, 2013 04:06 PM (k55Fc)

46 f I wanted the spanish broadcast, I would have put on one of the spanish language channels.


Posted by: no good deed

sometimes I want to watch the espanol-y channels, but I don't think they have reverse-SAP.  seems a little racist to me, eh?

Posted by: Peaches at September 22, 2013 04:07 PM (8lmkt)

47 At my previous home I lived next an older lady who was well, lazy and stupid, and liked using my front yard as her driveway. No, not an empty lot. Not an open alley. My front gawd dammed yard. To the point that she had tracks worn into the grass. Never asked, cared, gave a shit. Lazy and stupid was she. I hinted at her a couple of times about "hey, how about you don't drive through my front dammed yard anymore" but the message never got through. So, even though this was a rental house I liked to keep it nice so I went and got some landscaping timbers and put them about three feet deep across the property line like a vehicle barrier. Dumb lazy stupid bitch quit driving through my yard but she did actually back into of the poles later on. Didn't break it, just pushed it around but she didn't come complaining about it either.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at September 22, 2013 04:08 PM (xUfLb)

48 Yay! A bitch about the neighbors post! The neighbor that helped me fix stupid neighbor's busted water pipe had a thing for bamboo. So he planted it everywhere. Pretty soon, his bamboo was my bamboo, whether I liked it or not. Had the climate been more conducive, I would have planted pampas grass in spite.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at September 22, 2013 04:09 PM (sCynV)

49 call the water company and explain

I'll give that a try tomorrow.  Got nothing to lose by trying.

Posted by: Purp PhD/MD/Esq/Nobel Laureate[/i][/b][/u][/s] at September 22, 2013 04:09 PM (9MLX+)

50

Wow purp,

That's bad. Is there anything you can do to punish the stupid? Small claims court maybe for time and cost? Even if he doesn't learn, maybe you'll at least recoup losses.

 

Benefit to the Midwest I guess, my water lines are like 12 feet down (and they run to just next to the front door, so it's really not a driving area anyway.

Posted by: tsrblke (Tablet) at September 22, 2013 04:10 PM (GaqMa)

51 One nightmare I've had since middle age, getting into a war with my neighbor.

Posted by: Generic Research Assistant at September 22, 2013 04:10 PM (vWRUd)

52 Looks like the "Stupid" thread is a hit, Purp.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at September 22, 2013 04:10 PM (4Mv1T)

53 Idiot neighbors are better then idiot relatives. I mean idiot neighbors might move away but idiot relatives are forever.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 22, 2013 04:11 PM (UbDLm)

54 There are 7 varying degrees of Stupid;

1. Dim
2. Stupid
3. The Romney Campaign
4. Idiotic
5. Retarded
6. Brain-Dead
7. Meghan McCain

Posted by: kbdabear at September 22, 2013 04:11 PM (/9IC1)

55 >>>>sometimes I want to watch the espanol-y channels, but I don't think they have reverse-SAP. seems a little racist to me, eh?>>>>

On the Mexican channels in LA, they love hermaphrodites. Or people of indeterminate gender. They have these marathon talk shows that go on all day, and the guest always include elderly psychics who are neither-both male-female.

The Netherlands imports Mexican tranny prostitutes. Never saw the attraction myself. It's a guy with silicone bags in his chest. How could that possibly arouse you under any circumstances? Talk about the willing suspension of disbelief...

Posted by: Tacky Adhesive at September 22, 2013 04:12 PM (TJw7K)

56 Most of my neighbors would be better off as roadkill.  I'm sure they think the same about me, but I'm right and they're assholes.

Posted by: Peaches at September 22, 2013 04:12 PM (8lmkt)

57 The problem is mostly malice, egocentrism, and simianism. Later, all. God bless. :-)

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 22, 2013 04:13 PM (j+cSS)

58 But I was sweating bullets. Stupid, gigantic, and ready to kill is really about as bad as bad can get. Posted by: Tacky Adhesive ---------------------------- Clearly we have a similar neighbor. Mine is an OB. Out day and night delivering babies. He says his loud barking dog is to provide protection and comfort for his scared wife. We live in the 6th safest city in the US for crying out loud.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at September 22, 2013 04:13 PM (4Mv1T)

59 I lifted the enclosure up a bit before backfilling and came out of the (metal) water meter with a brass nipple long enough to extend past the enclosure before transitioning to PVC. How about planting pointed metal spikes into the ground around it with a sign that says, "WARNING: SEVERE TIRE DAMAGE. DO NOT DRIVE OVER"

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at September 22, 2013 04:14 PM (ItfcE)

60

Posted by: Purp PhD/MD/Esq/Nobel Laureate at September 22, 2013 08:09 PM (9MLX+

'round these parts, that damage is actually covered by some sort of insurance worked into our bill.

Stupid insurance I guess, (we also have mandatory sewer lateral insurance, but since the laterals are all 50 year old clay, I'm gonna pay one way or another.)

Posted by: tsrblke (Tablet) at September 22, 2013 04:15 PM (GaqMa)

61 I'm sure they think the same about me, but I'm right and they're assholes. Posted by: Peaches ------------------------------ It's lonely at the top.... and you have to be right, to be at the top.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at September 22, 2013 04:15 PM (4Mv1T)

62 "This same stupid person has managed to cut my phone line twice while digging in his yard...even though the phone company will come out and flag cable locations for free. " I don't know if this is true all over, but in my area there is a phone number for Miss Dig, which you call whenever you dig in your yard. They flag all utility wires that go to your house. 1 phone call for everything, couldn't be easier. Your neighbor made the same mistake on the phone lines twice? I think he goes way past stupid into full 'tard territory.

Posted by: nerdygirl at September 22, 2013 04:15 PM (mHUKK)

63 Remember, they aren't "stupid," they are just "special little snowflakes"Â…

Posted by: Ice-9 at September 22, 2013 04:16 PM (Vk2pI)

64 Mass Stupidity embedded into 1 video

Premiere episode;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpY8vPiGHF0



Posted by: kbdabear at September 22, 2013 04:16 PM (/9IC1)

65 I'm smarter than you.

Posted by: Joe Biden at September 22, 2013 07:58 PM (VSIZA)
 
That's because you always pick up turds by the clean end.
 
Hey Joe, your trip to visit the Mexican president musta went pretty well; he hasn't ordered an airstrike on DC yet.
 
But there is always hope.

Posted by: GnuBreed at September 22, 2013 04:16 PM (wNF3N)

66 How about planting pointed metal spikes into the ground around it with a sign that says, "WARNING: SEVERE TIRE DAMAGE. DO NOT DRIVE OVER"

You might get sued for that.

Bollards are the correct response. use a post hole digger to make a hole, and cement a 4" by 6 foot pipe there, half out of the ground. Cap it and paint it yellow.

Posted by: Kristophr at September 22, 2013 04:17 PM (c6N69)

67

... idiot neighbors might move away but idiot relatives are forever.

 

^

This a thousand times over.

Posted by: PMRich at September 22, 2013 04:17 PM (KDUNf)

68

Posted by: nerdygirl at September 22, 2013 08:15 PM (mHUKK)

I can even do it online, no calls required.

Easiest part of the yard work process.

Posted by: tsrblke (Tablet) at September 22, 2013 04:17 PM (GaqMa)

69 5 How do you prevent stupid neighbor from repeating this particular bit of destruction? Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse I suppose setting tire deflating spikes in the ground would be a bad thing?

Posted by: nerdygirl at September 22, 2013 04:18 PM (mHUKK)

70

The problem is, on a bad day, at one time or another, usually due to unfamiliarity or hubris, we are all the stupid person.  That's why the number is always higher than the estimate. 

Posted by: Beagle at September 22, 2013 04:18 PM (sOtz/)

71 Speaking of idiots. I hear obama is coming to town (NYC) tomorrow.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 22, 2013 04:20 PM (UbDLm)

72 50 call the water company and explain I'll give that a try tomorrow. Got nothing to lose by trying. Posted by: Purp PhD/MD/Esq/Nobel Laureate at September 22, 2013 08:09 PM (9MLX+) You mean besides them possibly being assholes and fining you for doing the repair yourself of course.

Posted by: Buzzion at September 22, 2013 04:20 PM (myRkn)

73 Face it people we are dumb all over. And a little ugly on the side.

Posted by: Zombie Frank Zappa at September 22, 2013 04:21 PM (U7FDe)

74 As predicted, the UCSF employee that tweeted obamacare deniers should be refused medical care claims now that it was all just a joke. Haha! Anyone of you buying this?

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at September 22, 2013 04:21 PM (sCynV)

75 "You tried to kill my dog," he whispered. I'd have asked the guy: Did it ever occur to you that there might be other neighbors that are even more annoyed than I am that might try that? Well it seems there are, because I'm not the one that did it."

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at September 22, 2013 04:21 PM (ItfcE)

76 The Book Of Dumb.

In the beginning,

Moron begat Imbecile. Imbecile begat Dummy. Dummy begat Stupid. Stupid begat Lunkhead...

Posted by: soothsayer at September 22, 2013 07:52 PM (dVC4M)




And at one time or another every one of them was elected to something!

Posted by: Old Dog at September 22, 2013 04:23 PM (tQYJH)

77 I think he goes way past stupid into full 'tard territory.

Oh yea.  This dude is a real piece of work.   He never considers the ramifications of anything he wants to do, he just does it. BAM!

He digs all over without getting anything flagged, his swimming pool has been uncovered/unfenced since the 2005 hurricanes tore the screen enclosure away...I guess he just pocketed the insurance. 

Its empty now, and he just lets rain water collect and stew until it become a fetid stinking mosquito farm.

Posted by: Purp PhD/MD/Esq/Nobel Laureate[/i][/b][/u][/s] at September 22, 2013 04:23 PM (9MLX+)

78 And since it's a 'stupid' thread, let's add the Emmys as well. Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse I never watch award shows. I have better things to do than to watch a bunch of people, who make a living pretending to do shit, gushing all over each other, much less telling the rest of us how to think. I could tolerate them if they did what God intended, and would shut up and just look good.

Posted by: nerdygirl at September 22, 2013 04:23 PM (mHUKK)

79 Left out of the Stupid People Attacks discussions so far are an even more common phenomenon, which I call Pseudo-Stupid Nickel-and-Dime Not-Worth-Bothering Micro Attrition Attacks. In a PSNADNWBMAA, a person or company will "accidentally" do something really stupid which causes you a minor expense or inconvenience -- carefully calculated to be just minor enough to be not worth your time to fix, but cumulatively just annoying or expensive enough to place in a permanent state of slow-boil anger. A good example is a medical office connected to my doctor. They consistently do this: Some test is ordered -- a test which is explicitly covered by my insurance plan. The medical office does the test, and then "mistakenly" bills for the results -- not the full amount, but some weird diddling amount, usually between $17 and $36, which in fact I should not be charged. The first few times, I was able to make a whole bunch of annoyed phone calls to the bureaucracy and wait several weeks for the "error" to be corrected. Then I calculated that with all the "on hold" phone call time for 11 phone calls, and all the other endless hassles, I was being paid about $1.73/hour to get the mistake reversed. I realized I was wasting my life away trying to save a few pennies. So I stopped trying to fix the errors, because the barriers they throw up to fix them are (intentionally) burdensome. So much easier, and so much more efficient, to just write them a check (takes three minutes) and be done with it. Which of course is the plan. Now, each time it happens (generally only once per year with these guys, luckily), the amount falsely charged to me goes up little by little. They're trying to Nickel and Dime Me To Death. And succeeding at it. And they'e not the only ones. Little errors creep in here and there throughout life and business which are consciously designed to fall just under the "not worth the hassle" threshold. Multiply that times tens or hundreds or thousands of customers, and these mountebanks are raking in a fortune of defrauded cash. And they're using the "Stupid" excuse as cover. Clever bastards!

Posted by: zombie at September 22, 2013 04:23 PM (+cx5n)

80 >>>>Clearly we have a similar neighbor. Mine is an OB. Out day and night delivering babies. He says his loud barking dog is to provide protection and comfort for his scared wife. We live in the 6th safest city in the US for crying out loud.>>>>

We had a cat, a feral who adopted us. When the tiff began with the neighbor over the dog, we ate crow, apologized, and shook the neighbor's hand to mollify him so that he wouldn't hurt our cat. We couldn't keep the cat inside, since being indoors drove him nuts.

The kitty has since died of feline leukemia, but in order to give him the best possible life, we made up with a hog in human form and pretended that all was well. Now we can all be friends!

He exited our hand-shaking ceremony smirking, but it was worth it to give our kitty an extra year of happiness.

Posted by: Tacky Adhesive at September 22, 2013 04:23 PM (TJw7K)

81 My stupid neighbor, who only has teenagers, had a kiddy pool sitting at the side of his house that was full of nasty water at just about the time that mosquitoes start to breed.  I suggested punching holes in the bottom, but we ended up just turning it over and leaning it up against the sapling trees that are growing out from under his foundation.

Posted by: huerfano at September 22, 2013 04:23 PM (bAGA/)

82 I suppose setting tire deflating spikes in the ground would be a bad thing? Pfft. Go to the hardware store, and buy a couple yellow jacket traps. At night, very carefully snip open the plastic bait vials, and empty them into a squirt gun. Add water. While still dark, hose his car down. Wash yourself thoroughly afterwards, burn the squirt gun, and try to act innocent the next day.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at September 22, 2013 04:24 PM (sCynV)

83 Oh, and if you ever see pictures of them without make-up and their hair done, they don't even look very good.

Posted by: nerdygirl at September 22, 2013 04:24 PM (mHUKK)

84 You mean besides them possibly being assholes and fining you for doing the repair yourself of course.

The break was on the owner rather than utility side of the meter, so it was actually my responsibility to fix.

Posted by: Purp PhD/MD/Esq/Nobel Laureate[/i][/b][/u][/s] at September 22, 2013 04:24 PM (9MLX+)

85 I have an idiot behind me. A 60ish jewish iranianÂ…. Always comes screaming at me that "My kids" are messing with his car. His garage is so full of shit he can't park in itÂ…..The last time he accused my 16 year old son of draining his brake fluidÂ….. I said "Sir when did this happen?" He said: 2 weeks ago. I said: Well you see my son is off to a boarding school. He said: Oh it was 3 weeks ago. I said: Hmmm my son has been gone for 7 weeks. There is no way he could have done it.. He said: Then you other son did it! I said: There is no way he could have done it. Not mechanical at all and I know where he has been 24/7. He said: Then you must have done it! I said: Have a nice day. I should have said: Bitch get out of my face before I fuck you upÂ…...

Posted by: redguy at September 22, 2013 04:24 PM (oqvI4)

86 Well had a rather unusual day in the Navy today. I had one of my Nurses come back from Afghanistan a mess to day. In tears and looking worn down something terrible. And had another one of Docs almost have a melt down. Thank G-D, and I mean this, we have a psychiatrist in our Unit. Actually we have 2, probably the only Reserve Unit in the Navy with 2. And we do take care of our own.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 22, 2013 04:25 PM (UbDLm)

87 Carrie Underwood isn't as hawt as Faith Hill, but I'm not complaining that she's doing the Sunday Night Football song

She's performing at the Emmys too. At least you know there won't be twerking from Carrie

Posted by: kbdabear at September 22, 2013 04:26 PM (/9IC1)

88 "Nah, big guy. You and I can discuss who else may or may not have tried to kill your dog, but if I had tried to kill your dog, your dog would be dead. Because I'm humane that way. I can't stand to see an animal lay there and suffer."

I don't know about you, but I keep a carbine in a broom-clamp behind the door.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at September 22, 2013 04:26 PM (JNUY4)

89 Have I mentioned I have a new TV show? Posted by: Meghan McCain Only way that show will have any viewers is if you slip a nip. Even then, they'll change channels as soon as you get your boobehs back in the holster.

Posted by: nerdygirl at September 22, 2013 04:26 PM (mHUKK)

90

Posted by: Purp PhD/MD/Esq/Nobel Laureate at September 22, 2013 08:23 PM (9MLX+)

 

Yeah, this guy is a danger to everyone.

You need to find a way to hammer him.

Posted by: tsrblke (Tablet) at September 22, 2013 04:26 PM (GaqMa)

91 Carrie Underwood isn't as hawt as Faith Hill, but I'm not complaining that she's doing the Sunday Night Football song She's performing at the Emmys too. At least you know there won't be twerking from Carrie Posted by: kbdabear at September 22, 2013 08:26 PM (/9IC1) Yeah I would go with Faith Hill also. And I think it is kind of tacky she is performing the same song

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 22, 2013 04:27 PM (UbDLm)

92 He said: Then you must have done it! I said: Have a nice day. I should have said: Bitch get out of my face before I fuck you upÂ…... Posted by: redguy ---------------------- My advice. Hire a realtor. Now. For you or your neighbor.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at September 22, 2013 04:27 PM (4Mv1T)

93 As someone who's rooting for the Steelers tonight, could someone have navycopyjoe sedated during the game?

Posted by: kbdabear at September 22, 2013 04:27 PM (/9IC1)

94 ignorance is bliss, and we are surrounded by happy people.

Posted by: redc1c4 at September 22, 2013 04:27 PM (q+fqH)

95 You might get sued for that. Really? Someone ignores a large sign warning of tire damage and they're going to sue someone? Any judge that doesn't throw out the resulting lawsuit should be horsewhipped.

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at September 22, 2013 04:27 PM (ItfcE)

96 So much easier, and so much more efficient, to just write them a check (takes three minutes) and be done with it. Which of course is the plan. Now, each time it happens (generally only once per year with these guys, luckily), the amount falsely charged to me goes up little by little. They're trying to Nickel and Dime Me To Death. And succeeding at it. And they're using the "Stupid" excuse as cover. Clever bastards! Posted by: zombie at September 22, 2013 08:23 PM (+cx5n) --When you pay them back, underpay by a few cents, say 40 or so, to make it irritating to send another bill due to paper and posting costs. Tit for tat.

Posted by: logprof at September 22, 2013 04:28 PM (fOFYL)

97 National Hispanic Heritage Month and Hispanic Soldiers? Shit how much do these liberal scum want to divide us?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 22, 2013 04:28 PM (UbDLm)

98 >>>>"You tried to kill my dog," he whispered.

I'd have asked the guy: Did it ever occur to you that there might be other neighbors that are even more annoyed than I am that might try that? Well it seems there are, because I'm not the one that did it.">>>>

That's how we got him to believe us. The chocolate was on the side of the yard away from our house. I also said, "Look, WE complained to you about the dog. If your dog was poisoned right after that, who would you blame? We're not stupid. Besides, we've given up. You won. Your dog barks all the time now, and we just wear earplugs."

Imagine having to wear earplugs in your own house. Thanks, Animal Control!

Posted by: Tacky Adhesive at September 22, 2013 04:28 PM (TJw7K)

99 That's right. I work with a fucking furry. Posted by: Munenori Are those the people who put on animal costumes and have sex? EEEK! Keep that perv away from me.

Posted by: The Chicken at September 22, 2013 04:29 PM (mHUKK)

100

94  could someone have navycopyjoe sedated during the game?

 

nope

 

BEAR DOWN!!

Posted by: navycopjoe at September 22, 2013 04:29 PM (ht6M+)

101 Only way that show will have any viewers is if you slip a nip. Even then, they'll change channels as soon as you get your boobehs back in the holster. Posted by: nerdygirl at September 22, 2013 08:26 PM

John Ekdahl @johnekdahl  live tweeted the first two episodes

We're asking Ace to give him hazard pay for it

You can see his and other snark at the hash #RaisingMcCain

Posted by: kbdabear at September 22, 2013 04:29 PM (/9IC1)

102 Carrie underwood has some nice legs and she doesn't mind showing them off.

Posted by: Buzzion at September 22, 2013 04:29 PM (myRkn)

103 Hebron Jews can move into a building next to the spot where a Palestinian sniper killed an Israeli soldier on Sunday evening, Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu said just hours after the attack in a statement that spoke of the need to fight terror and support West Bank settlements. His decision expands the Jewish areas of the West Bank city, and allows an Israeli civilian presence in a Palestinian neighborhood next to the Cave of the Patriarchs. The move comes just one week before Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu is set to meet with US President Barack Obama at the White House in Washington, their first face to face conversation since Israeli Palestinian negotiations were resumed in July. This is how you say "fuck you" to the Arabs in Hebrew

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 22, 2013 04:30 PM (UbDLm)

104 Stupidity -- Evolution's way of saying "You lose." But it's a damnedly slow process.

Posted by: GnuBreed at September 22, 2013 04:30 PM (wNF3N)

105 I nearly lost it when we were out in Japan and Base Housing (contractors, of course) started harassing us about our lawn. Nevermind that I had filled out a "I'm leaving for awhile" form before I left, Maintenance had come in and put an easily-visible heat lamp in our window, and I had made it clear we would be gone for a few months. Oh no, all that somehow wasn't good enough. Pooky's first shirt was called, and he told them repeatedly that the unit was taking care of it BECAUSE WE WERE IN JAPAN. The threat of a fine got dropped, finally, when I came home and called Maintenance to collect their heat lamp. Magically, the right hand got the message what the left was doing after that...

Posted by: pookysgirl at September 22, 2013 04:31 PM (kMnHs)

106 What is up will all the beaner celebrating on NBC football?

Posted by: Big Ben at September 22, 2013 04:31 PM (I5Htn)

107 Stupidity -- Evolution's way of saying "You lose." But it's a damnedly slow process. Posted by: GnuBreed -------------------------------------------- It has become like trying to fire a government employee in our "civilized" society.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at September 22, 2013 04:33 PM (4Mv1T)

108 How could that possibly arouse you under any circumstances? Talk about the willing suspension of disbelief...
Do they have brass nipples???

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at September 22, 2013 04:33 PM (K5R1m)

109
Bad neighbors from my barrio days:

The family of illegal aliens -- whoops! -- undocumented immigrant entrepreneurs -- that used to boil corn on the cob for their pushcart in a vat between our units.

And when they moved out there was the prostitute who set up shop, and her inebriated and heavily cologned patrons used to knock on our door in the middle of the night by mistake while looking for love.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at September 22, 2013 04:34 PM (kdS6q)

110 101
94 could someone have navycopyjoe sedated during the game?

nope

BEAR DOWN!! Posted by: navycopjoe at September 22, 2013 08:29 PM

Elbows and boobehs, elbows and boobehs... you are getting sleepy ... sleepy

Posted by: kbdabear at September 22, 2013 04:34 PM (/9IC1)

111

speaking of stupid people, the first episode of Brooklyn 99 was pretty good. Especially the guy who drops his muffin, leans over to pick it up and bonks his head on the counter and then steps on his muffin.

 

 

 

 

And no, muffin isn't a code word, morons.

 

 

 

Sorry for your hassle today Purp. That sucks large. Especially since you must continue to live next to this black hole of stupid.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at September 22, 2013 04:34 PM (RZ8pf)

112 107
Posted by: Big Ben at September 22, 2013 08:31 PM

That's a bit over the line

Posted by: kbdabear at September 22, 2013 04:36 PM (/9IC1)

113 What is up will all the beaner celebrating on NBC football? Something to do with racism or something, I think.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at September 22, 2013 04:36 PM (sCynV)

114 Its empty now, and he just lets rain water collect and stew until it become a fetid stinking mosquito farm.

Posted by: Purp PhD/MD/Esq/Nobel Laureate at September 22, 2013 08:23 PM (9MLX+)


Does the town or county have an ordinance forbidding nuisance bodies of standing water, being as they are mosquito breeding grounds? Pretty sure my county does, and even the old truck tires standing behind my shop are legitimate targets. But my county also doesn't run around looking for BS little violations to prosecute, either. But in your case, maybe an anonymous phone call to the county board of health might be advised.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 22, 2013 04:37 PM (8Fl6F)

115 Pseudo-Stupid Nickel-and-Dime Not-Worth-Bothering Micro Attrition Attacks.

In a PSNADNWBMAA, a person or company will "accidentally" do something really stupid which causes you a minor expense or inconvenience -- carefully calculated to be just minor enough to be not worth your time to fix, but cumulatively just annoying or expensive enough to place in a permanent state of slow-boil anger.

A good example is a medical office connected to my doctor. They consistently do this:

Some test is ordered -- a test which is explicitly covered by my insurance plan. The medical office does the test, and then "mistakenly" bills for the results -- not the full amount, but some weird diddling amount, usually between $17 and $36, which in fact I should not be charged.

The first few times, I was able to make a whole bunch of annoyed phone calls to the bureaucracy and wait several weeks for the "error" to be corrected.

Then I calculated that with all the "on hold" phone call time for 11 phone calls, and all the other endless hassles, I was being paid about $1.73/hour to get the mistake reversed. I realized I was wasting my life away trying to save a few pennies. So I stopped trying to fix the errors, because the barriers they throw up to fix them are (intentionally) burdensome.

So much easier, and so much more efficient, to just write them a check (takes three minutes) and be done with it.

Which of course is the plan.

Now, each time it happens (generally only once per year with these guys, luckily), the amount falsely charged to me goes up little by little.

They're trying to Nickel and Dime Me To Death. And succeeding at it.

And they'e not the only ones. Little errors creep in here and there throughout life and business which are consciously designed to fall just under the "not worth the hassle" threshold. Multiply that times tens or hundreds or thousands of customers, and these mountebanks are raking in a fortune of defrauded cash.

And they're using the "Stupid" excuse as cover. Clever bastards!

Posted by: zombie at September 22, 2013 08:23 PM (+cx5n)

You are correct.  These little outrages are part of a carefully-considered business strategy, trying to figure out how much they can erroneously charge you (using "Oops, our bad!" as an excuse when you call them) and get away with it.

They do it on the flip side, too.  Offer you discounts and then fail to deliver.

Double billing.  Forgetting to issue a refund. Billing you and forgetting to record a warranty.  The list goes on and on.

I believe their term for this type of malfeasance is known as "breakage".

Posted by: HTL at September 22, 2013 04:37 PM (xOOs/)

116 Sticky Wicket, see post at end of CAC's thread for a link re: astrophotography.

Posted by: Anthony L. at September 22, 2013 04:37 PM (FKaH3)

117 114 What is up will all the beaner celebrating on NBC football? Something to do with racism or something, I think. Posted by: Sticky Wicket at September 22, 2013 08:36 PM (sCynV) --Some good beaners played in the NFL. Next month we'll hear about all the great NFL players who struggled with breast cancer.

Posted by: logprof at September 22, 2013 04:38 PM (fOFYL)

118 his swimming pool has been uncovered/unfenced since the 2005 hurricanes tore the screen enclosure away
Its empty now, and he just lets rain water collect and stew until it become a fetid stinking mosquito farm.


That would be a code violation in certain areas.

Posted by: Pantera Rosa at September 22, 2013 04:38 PM (9AtAV)

119 Imagine having to wear earplugs in your own house. Thanks, Animal Control! I feel bad for you. If there's one thing I really, really hate it's dogs that bark way too much, and worse, owners that won't do a damned thing about it.

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at September 22, 2013 04:38 PM (ItfcE)

120 Sticky Wicket, see post at end of CAC's thread for a link re: astrophotography. Checking now, thanks for the heads up!

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at September 22, 2013 04:39 PM (sCynV)

121 That's a bit over the line Just a tad. I think a cleanup on aisle 107 is in order.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at September 22, 2013 04:40 PM (sCynV)

122 You are correct. These little outrages are part of a carefully-considered business strategy, trying to figure out how much they can erroneously charge you (using "Oops, our bad!" as an excuse when you call them) and get away with it. They do it on the flip side, too. Offer you discounts and then fail to deliver. Double billing. Forgetting to issue a refund. Billing you and forgetting to record a warranty. The list goes on and on. I believe their term for this type of malfeasance is known as "breakage". Posted by: HTL at September 22, 2013 08:37 PM (xOOs/) --That's why I make sure a charge is legit before I let my wife send out payment. Make them coming to get it from, rather than paying up right away and begging for an adjustment over lousy "customer service" lines.

Posted by: logprof at September 22, 2013 04:40 PM (fOFYL)

123 Whenever a neighbor of mine F***s with any of my stuff I handle everything through a lawyer.  Sure it costs a lot, but most of them end up having to get legal counsel, and they can less afford it than me.  They end up being very careful about anything else they do because I have generated a third party paper trail by which the authorities can verify any statements I make about their past behavior.

Posted by: teapartydoc at September 22, 2013 04:40 PM (4U98b)

124 Neither the Bears nor Steelers have cheerleaders

So here's a hawt Stiller fan;

http://tinyurl.com/kgdktca


Posted by: kbdabear at September 22, 2013 04:41 PM (/9IC1)

125 This is what happens when you live in a frost free area. My New England house water supply is buried 48" down and a concrete truck carrying about 8 yards ran over it. No problem so far after 15 years. OTOH, my Fla house sounds more like Purp's. Had I known how easy it was to fix, I'da done myself. Dig down 12" after shutting off the H2O at the street and the plumbing can be handled by anyone who put a model airplane together. Just a joke. And just as flimsy as a model airplane.

Posted by: chuckr at September 22, 2013 04:41 PM (UGxsK)

126 Posted by: Kristophr at September 22, 2013 08:17 PM (c6N69)

If it was on my property, I would dig in a 6"x6" pressure-treated post at least 2' deep with a posted No Trespassing sign on it!  Hit that mother just once and you will remember it's location.

Posted by: Hrothgar at September 22, 2013 04:41 PM (XdnQT)

127

Posted by: zombie at September 22, 2013 08:23 PM (+cx5n)

 

My wife needed some PT, and the office kept trying to bill me before the insurance even got the bill, claiming "deductible."

I told them to suck it until I got EOBs. Still got hassled.

So I called the insurer and said "this smell like double billing fraud."

That stopped it

Posted by: tsrblke (Tablet) at September 22, 2013 04:41 PM (GaqMa)

128 I feel bad for you. If there's one thing I really, really hate it's dogs that bark way too much, and worse, owners that won't do a damned thing about it. Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at September 22, 2013 08:38 PM (ItfcE) --Dogs I treat the same way as babies on planes: they're just following instinct. It's on the caretakers/parents to respond and fix the annoyance.

Posted by: logprof at September 22, 2013 04:42 PM (fOFYL)

129 Wow, this post and the comments are amazing. They are marvelous illustrations of the Stupid post from yesterday.

Posted by: rickl at September 22, 2013 04:42 PM (sdi6R)

130 I'm going to do a quasi-operatic history of the last thirty years. I shall call it, DUMBASS! The Musical. I expect to lack for nothing in material.

Posted by: Brother Cavil and his Flying Toaster Circus at September 22, 2013 04:44 PM (m9V0o)

131 Just a favor, could we cut the slur that's offensive to Mexicans?

Some fine morons of Mexican descent read here

Posted by: kbdabear at September 22, 2013 04:44 PM (/9IC1)

132 Dogs I treat the same way as babies on planes: they're just following instinct. It's on the caretakers/parents to respond and fix the annoyance. Posted by: logprof --------------------------------- My doctor neighbors with the eternally paniced barking German Shepherd told some friends that we don't like their dog. They are sadly mistaken. It is the doctor and spouse that we do not like.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at September 22, 2013 04:44 PM (4Mv1T)

133 Also, I expect quality time in the barrel.

Posted by: Brother Cavil and his Flying Toaster Circus at September 22, 2013 04:44 PM (m9V0o)

134 >>>>Yeah I would go with Faith Hill also. And I think it is kind of tacky she is performing the same song That's likely up to nbc. Since it's the exact same song they had pink singing before faith hill.

Posted by: Buzzion at September 22, 2013 04:45 PM (bFhZP)

135 No spillover? Escaped, have I! /happy dance

Posted by: Brother Cavil and his Flying Toaster Circus at September 22, 2013 04:45 PM (m9V0o)

136 My new neighbor is a nightmare in the making. Good neighbors, why so hard to come by? Posted by: Derak You think you have problems? You should see the two free-loaders next to me. They get disability, food stamps, the whole nine yards. Then there's the alcohol and drug abuse. I'd call them Obama voters but I'm pretty sure they're too lazy to get off their asses and go to the polling place. After I had spend almost $3000 putting in a chain link fence around the backyard so that my dog can run free, the stupid female came home drunk one night and parked her car so that it pushed against the mesh of the fence. Didn't do any damage but I took photos in case there were further problems.

Posted by: nerdygirl at September 22, 2013 04:45 PM (mHUKK)

137 132 Just a favor, could we cut the slur that's offensive to Mexicans? Some fine morons of Mexican descent read here Posted by: kbdabear at September 22, 2013 08:44 PM (/9IC1) --I'm part Mexican, and "beaner" does not offend me at all. I love beans of many types. Plus, the NFL "outreach" this month is not limited to Mexicans.

Posted by: logprof at September 22, 2013 04:46 PM (fOFYL)

138 nice hands rapist

Posted by: navycopjoe at September 22, 2013 04:47 PM (ht6M+)

139 >>>Neither the Bears nor Steelers have cheerleaders

Let's just say it's better that way with our current QB.

Posted by: Steeler Management at September 22, 2013 04:49 PM (2pfUU)

140 That would be a code violation in certain areas.

In Palm Beach county and uncovered or unfenced pool IS a code violation cuz neighborhood kids tend to fall into them and drown.

He was written up on that once already, but he just stretched an ordinary tarp over it long enough for the inspector to see "something" and close the incident.

First time it rained, the tarp filled up with water and all the grommets tore out and it collapsed.  If he'd just stuck a 2x4 up in the center and tented the thing so water would roll off, even that half-ass fix would have held. 

Stupid people don't understand how water flows though.

Posted by: Purp PhD/MD/Esq/Nobel Laureate[/i][/b][/u][/s] at September 22, 2013 04:49 PM (9MLX+)

141 The break was on the owner rather than utility side of the meter, so it was actually my responsibility to fix. Posted by: Purp PhD/MD/Esq/Nobel Laureate at September 22, 2013 08:24 PM (9MLX+) Years ago the line from the meter to a building I was managing started leaking real bad. County called right after the meter reading to tell me that the monthly usage had gone up about 8 times. I went out and checked, and yep, line had burst. Got the line fixed, called the lady at the water dept, and she adjusted our bill back to the normal amount. So you may want to try that.

Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper, aka MrCaniac at the grocery store at September 22, 2013 04:49 PM (BXLPR)

142 Regarding the barking dog problem, how about recording it, and playing it back on a loud amp, once the dog's humans are home? Like about 2:00 A.M.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 22, 2013 04:49 PM (8Fl6F)

143 Remember Joe Kapp, whose TDs in a single game record (shared with other greats) Peyton Manning tied Week 1? Beaner. Also, of course, famous for this epic Old Man Fight before the Grey Cup a couple years ago: http://youtu.be/JrkEROiQsa8

Posted by: logprof at September 22, 2013 04:49 PM (fOFYL)

144 Man those peace lovin muslims are on a roll today. At least 78 Christians in Pakistan church bombing.

Posted by: Zombie Frank Zappa at September 22, 2013 04:50 PM (U7FDe)

145 TOUCHDOWN!!!!!!!

Posted by: navycopjoe at September 22, 2013 04:50 PM (ht6M+)

146 We have been remarkably lucky with neighbors, but we move so often we will probably hit the idiot neighbor lottery sooner or later.  My cousin, on the other hand, scraped the entire passenger side of my mother's SUV with a boat and trailer.  He didn't even notice the trailer was hooked up to his truck until he stopped at his destination. 

Posted by: no good deed at September 22, 2013 04:50 PM (k55Fc)

147 So what over 60 people killed in Kenya and 300 injured? Mostly black people I assume? So any comment from the BCB, Sharpton, Jackson, the one who's kids look like the victims? And the shooters were Americans of a religious order?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 22, 2013 04:50 PM (UbDLm)

148 Here, you call 811 and every utility company will come out and clear the area where you want to dig.  Most of the time, they will come the same day.  You just mark the area, and they give you an OK.

Posted by: Zombie John Gotti at September 22, 2013 04:51 PM (1hekh)

149 Yeah, I have a lot of Mexicans in my neighborhood. They were born in the same hospital I was, but their parents were born in Texas. So, you know, "Mexican." Pretty damn good neighbors. We've got a Flip, too -- hell of a guy, a Cuban or two, and at least one Puerto Rican. They're all OK people.

It's "Hispanics" I don't like. Hope none of them come around here.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at September 22, 2013 04:51 PM (JNUY4)

150 Purp, deploy the concrete anti-vehicle lawn gnomes around your meter.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 22, 2013 04:52 PM (nqb9X)

151 And the shooters were Americans of a religious order?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 22, 2013 08:50 PM (UbDLm)

It was only a matter of time before the Hasidim became violent.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at September 22, 2013 04:52 PM (gqgiP)

152 Munenori, what kind of furry?  If the Yiffing kind in a fur suit.  Hunting season is open.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 22, 2013 04:54 PM (nqb9X)

153 I mentioned the other day that if it weren't for people being stupid, I wouldn't have a job.

Sadly, it's true.  

Posted by: alexthechick - Team No Seriously Fuck All Of This Shit So Hard at September 22, 2013 04:54 PM (Gk3SS)

154 Remember Joe Kapp, whose TDs in a single game record (shared with other greats) Peyton Manning tied Week 1? Beaner. I remember him for the alleged zipper incident.

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at September 22, 2013 04:54 PM (ItfcE)

155 Posted by: Zombie Frank Zappa at September 22, 2013 08:50 PM (U7FDe)

Yes, the world would be a really scary place if the muz didn't universally adhere to the precepts of a religion of peace!

Posted by: Hrothgar at September 22, 2013 04:55 PM (XdnQT)

156 ) 154 I mentioned the other day that if it weren't for people being stupid, I wouldn't have a job.  Sadly, it's true. 

Posted by: alexthechick - Team No Seriously Fuck All Of This Shit So Hard at September 22, 2013 08:54 PM (Gk3SS)


Wise choice.  Steady employment for the rest of your life.  

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at September 22, 2013 04:55 PM (0wHyk)

157 speaking of stupid....Whats up with NFL games in London?  and Jaguars vs 49'ers?  LOL

Posted by: Red Shirt at September 22, 2013 04:55 PM (FIDMq)

158 Stupid people don't understand how water flows though.

Posted by: Purp PhD/MD/Esq/Nobel Laureate at September 22, 2013 08:49 PM (9MLX+)

Stupid person neighbor contested our request for zoning variance.

Stupid person complained that addition to our home would cause drainage problems on his property.

Village engineer had to explain to stupid person that water almost always flows down hill, and that his up hill house was in very little danger.

Zoning board was not amused, and granted variance.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at September 22, 2013 04:56 PM (gqgiP)

159 Wise choice. Steady employment for the rest of your life.
Posted by: ConservativeMonster at September 22, 2013 08:55 PM (0wHyk)


I'm kind of regretting not becoming a mortician.

Posted by: alexthechick - Team No Seriously Fuck All Of This Shit So Hard at September 22, 2013 04:57 PM (Gk3SS)

160 Hey who would have thought that after 3 games the "Hot" QB in NY would be Geno Smith

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 22, 2013 04:57 PM (UbDLm)

161 Your stupid neighbor needs to start paying out substantial green stuff.  You do that in our state and you will be paying for the repair.

My township has a disagreeable and stupid cuss that mows the ditches.  About five years ago in the late summer he literally mowed over the metal phone box as if it weren't there.  He saw it, but didn't want to mow around it.  This is not the first time either.

So I called the phone company on my cellphone and told them exactly what happened and who did it.

It didn't hear about it until a couple years later, but the phone company made the township pay the box replacement and the technician's time to reinstall it and fix our phone line.  Let's say it was approaching 4 digits.

The township still has the same cuss doing the mowing - drinking buddies with the township supervisor.  But the next time their equipment is damaged, the price of repair will be MUCH higher.

Posted by: FrankReality at September 22, 2013 04:57 PM (Bn9It)

162 Omg I was channeling FZ again. Off stinkfoot sock!

Posted by: Freak Out! at September 22, 2013 04:57 PM (U7FDe)

163 AlextheChick mortician at large.  You need a stiff spruced up, call Alex!

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 22, 2013 04:58 PM (nqb9X)

164 Bollards are the correct response Bollards that shoot out of the ground on contact.

Posted by: t-bird at September 22, 2013 04:58 PM (FcR7P)

165 Yup, no good deed, he played football. Also dumb as a stump, smoked pot and yelled out racist jokes in class, despite my many warnings to him to shut up. I am sure he is a guest of the Tennessee Dept. Of Corrections now.

Posted by: Jmel at September 22, 2013 04:59 PM (cfFqn)

166 Ben Rathlisberger is really stinking the place up.

Posted by: toby928© at September 22, 2013 05:00 PM (QupBk)

167

damn so close

Posted by: navycopjoe at September 22, 2013 05:00 PM (ht6M+)

168 Gee Mean Joe Greene must be dying watching this

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 22, 2013 05:00 PM (UbDLm)

169 Years ago when I was young and less ruthless, I noticed that a lot of strange things were happening. People would do things that just didn't make sense, After some consideration and a few simple thought experiments, I figured out the problem: stupidity. I devised a little theory to explain it, which I called MPAS, (Most People Are Stupid). When I saw something that didn't make sense, I would merely murmur "MPAS" (pronounced em-pass) to myself and the explanation was always plain to see.

One must always remember that half of all people are of below average intelligence (yes, that's math, sorry), and many of the rest lack what is known as "common sense," something that in fact is extremely uncommon, so the MPAS theory works in nearly all cases of otherwise unexplainable behavior and thought patterns. Interestingly enough, MPAS applies across the board to liberals, Moose-limbs and other semi-sentient beings.

Of course, as a long-time lurker and rare commenter on AOSHQ I must add that present company are excepted. That's why I continue to lurk.

Posted by: Ruthless at September 22, 2013 05:00 PM (LJaTq)

170 and navycop joe going crazy about right now

Posted by: lou's a girl at September 22, 2013 05:00 PM (vgd4f)

171 Deniers coming forth: Sarah Palin ‏@SarahPalinUSA 57s Mitch McConnell's Campaign Manager: We Had Nothing to Do with Ted Cruz Oppo Shopping http://t.co/util2lcPiU

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 22, 2013 05:01 PM (DmNpO)

172 Help me Mr. Wizard.

Posted by: SuaveJav at September 22, 2013 05:01 PM (qQk+U)

173 Time for Breaking Bad: http://goo.gl/vYJ1w Live stream.

Posted by: Jesse Pinkman, PhD Bitches! at September 22, 2013 05:03 PM (T0Pku)

174 I devised a little theory to explain it, which I called MPAS, (Most People Are Stupid). When I saw something that didn't make sense, I would merely murmur "MPAS" (pronounced em-pass) to myself and the explanation was always plain to see.


*yoink*

Posted by: alexthechick - Team No Seriously Fuck All Of This Shit So Hard at September 22, 2013 05:03 PM (Gk3SS)

175 In case no one else said it,  place a couple of large rocks on either side of the area he was driving over.  I mean large boulder style rocks.  I've seen my neighbors do that so people won't drive over their sprinkler heads near the alley.  He'll avoid those because they'll scratch his ride.  Funny how people get little bit smarter when they have some skin in the game.

Posted by: Dang at September 22, 2013 05:05 PM (Hx2XA)

176 NFL in London..... Where no one really understands the game and the cheer wildly for field goals.  The Obama Regime must have played a part in the planning.

Posted by: Truck Monkey, Gruntled New Business Owner at September 22, 2013 05:05 PM (jucos)

177 Stupid is not challenging that first TD.



(bthough we might be getting a bail out)

Posted by: Bear's coaching staff at September 22, 2013 05:05 PM (2pfUU)

178 >>>>sometimes I want to watch the espanol-y channels, but I don't think they have reverse-SAP. seems a little racist to me, eh?>>>> On the Mexican channels in LA, they love hermaphrodites. Or people of indeterminate gender. They have these marathon talk shows that go on all day, and the guest always include elderly psychics who are neither-both male-female. The Netherlands imports Mexican tranny prostitutes. Never saw the attraction myself. It's a guy with silicone bags in his chest. How could that possibly arouse you under any circumstances? Talk about the willing suspension of disbelief... Posted by: Tacky Adhesive at September 22, 2013 08:12 PM (TJw7K) There's a local dive bar here called "Las Conchas" that caters to the Mexican population, and it's notorious for most of the "females" in the bar being transvestites or he-she's. "Las Conchas" is Mexican slang for "C*nts". I'm sure that the local leftist city government has NO IDEA what the name really means.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 22, 2013 05:06 PM (MBqvE)

179 I am not drunk enough for the time machine to be active.

*taps foot*

Posted by: alexthechick - Team No Seriously Fuck All Of This Shit So Hard at September 22, 2013 05:06 PM (Gk3SS)

180 Sarah Palin ‏@SarahPalinUSA
Mitch McConnell's Campaign Manager: We Had Nothing to Do with Ted Cruz Oppo Shopping

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse

Lawyerspeak translation:
They're telling the truth.

They had *everything* to do with it.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at September 22, 2013 05:06 PM (ligos)

181 Help me Mr. Wizard. Trizzle, trazzle, trozzel, trome, time for zis one to come home...

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at September 22, 2013 05:07 PM (ItfcE)

182 MPAS is what I also figured out years ago but never put a name on it. Most people are indeed stupid, some by choice. I don't think the average stupid person would stick around here long though. They would be insulted at being called a moron.

Posted by: Freak Out! at September 22, 2013 05:07 PM (U7FDe)

183 Little-known footage of NCJ: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sct9igr7wMA

Posted by: Stringer Davis at September 22, 2013 05:07 PM (JNUY4)

184 One must always remember that half of all people are of below average intelligence

And we're damned proud of it!

Posted by: Low Information Voters at September 22, 2013 05:07 PM (Dwehj)

185 TOUCHDOWN!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: navycopjoe at September 22, 2013 05:08 PM (ht6M+)

186 Fuck this weak shit. More passes to Brandon Marshall, please!

Posted by: logprof at September 22, 2013 05:09 PM (fOFYL)

187 184  I really don't want to click that do I?

Posted by: navycopjoe at September 22, 2013 05:09 PM (ht6M+)

188 One must always remember that half of all people are of below average median intelligence

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 22, 2013 05:09 PM (DmNpO)

189 football thread up

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 22, 2013 05:09 PM (DmNpO)

190 Told you!!

Posted by: lou's a girl at September 22, 2013 05:10 PM (vgd4f)

191 I see stupid day in and day out, on the highway. Bad thing, stupid on the road has a way of getting you dead... In case anyone wonders cutting off an eighteen wheeler loaded to 80,000 pounds is an epically stupid thing to do. Yes I have all those breaks, still takes a while to stop..

Posted by: Snail racing champion, on the go at September 22, 2013 05:11 PM (+kW7A)

192 He'll avoid those because they'll scratch his ride.

Unfortunately, its a 20yo mini-van that looks and sounds like it spent those 20 years in Beirut.  He'd never notice new scratches.

Posted by: Purp PhD/MD/Esq/Nobel Laureate[/i][/b][/u][/s] at September 22, 2013 05:11 PM (9MLX+)

193 @188 Not only do you want to click it, you'll want your own copy.
I might even call it Safe for Work, but I heard what you do for a living.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at September 22, 2013 05:11 PM (JNUY4)

194 NCJ is already sedated since he saw that the 2014 Super Bowl Champion Miami Dolphins are 3-0, on their way to ANOTHER unprecedented undefeated season

Posted by: DAve at September 22, 2013 05:12 PM (b7yum)

195 Bollards are the correct response. Tire deflation "stuff" These things are potentially borderline gray-area. Get into gardening ... raised-bed style. Get a bunch of cinderblocks, and some real heavy ones for the corners (so they don't move easily), and build a bed 18" wide by 10 feet long (or however long you need them) in the place(s) needed. Note: the top of the cinderblocks needs to be 8-10 inches above ground. This will either bend the suspension or beach the vehicle. Line the bed with some plastic (no leaks or erosion), then fill with good-quality dirt, so the garden will yield well. What to plant: if you fear local animals taking a dump, or have city/neighborhood restrictions, then flowers are the answer. Pyracantha is excellent, but it takes years, and is best planted well away from the property line. Viola. You are essentially "car-proof", and your property values will go up, at least the value of these improvements. Lawsuits? For biffing some drunk's suspension planting flowers? Bah ... this is Art.

Posted by: Arbalest at September 22, 2013 05:14 PM (FlRtG)

196 Help me Mr. Wizard. Posted by: SuaveJav at September 22, 2013 09:01 PM (qQk+U) Mr. Wizard's dead. I killed him.

Posted by: Bill Nye, the Climate Lying Guy at September 22, 2013 05:14 PM (Vk2pI)

197 How are you folks getting working hyperlinks into the comments?

Posted by: Gran at September 22, 2013 05:16 PM (nPMjI)

198 You mean to tell me Purp you have a franchise of Crazy Achmed's Used Mini-Vans and VBIEDs?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 22, 2013 05:17 PM (nqb9X)

199 RoundUp, a portable sprayer and the dead of night works wonders for dealing with shit-head neighbors. It doesn't actually solve the problem, but it feels really good.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 22, 2013 05:17 PM (MBqvE)

200 177 NFL in London..... Where no one really understands the game and the cheer wildly for field goals. The Obama Regime must have played a part in the planning. Posted by: Truck Monkey, Gruntled New Business Owner at September 22, 2013 09:05 PM (jucos) Wait til the NFL goes to a 17 game regular season, then one game each year will be at a neutral site like London. Hell, they have even been rumors that every team will play in London as their "neutral" games each season. That way, no team will be based in London, but there will be 8 or 16 games a season there. It's all about getting a TV deal for Europe.

Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper, aka MrCaniac at the grocery store at September 22, 2013 05:17 PM (BXLPR)

201 H. Beam Piper has a classic sf short story called Day of the Moron.  In it, the supervisor of a team of nuclear technicians is retrofitting a reactor.  He is afraid of the damage that morons can do so he hires a psychologist to test for the moron factor.  Don't want to say more in order so I do not spoil the ending. 

Posted by: wg at September 22, 2013 05:19 PM (+L0kh)

202 >>> 143 Regarding the barking dog problem, how about recording it, and playing it back on a loud amp, once the dog's humans are home? Like about 2:00 A.M. You could get a dog whistle and blow on it at 2AM I've considered that for the blue waffle that lives across the street from me.

Posted by: fluffy at September 22, 2013 05:20 PM (z9HTb)

203 Why we win: http://tinyurl.com/kboh7a7

Posted by: DAve at September 22, 2013 05:21 PM (b7yum)

204 Sarah Palin ‏@SarahPalinUSA 57s Mitch McConnell's Campaign Manager: We Had Nothing to Do with Ted Cruz Oppo Shopping http://t.co/util2lcPiU Now why don't I believe him?

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at September 22, 2013 05:21 PM (sCynV)

205 If stupid neighbor does stupid stuff costing you time and money make stupid neighbor pay or threaten him with court. if that doesn't work make sure stupid neighbor have accident costing him roughly what his stupid cost you.
Stupid people should have skin in the game, be made to pay else they stay stupid and never learn.
Its the only compassionate way to treat stupid, make em pay.
Compassionate Conservative!
If this doesn't work beat their ass if they set foot on your property. Stupid gets what stupid gives.

Posted by: ConcealedKerry or SubMitt at September 22, 2013 05:24 PM (uUXp6)

206 Oops- my browser is making the URL's functional links. Never mind.

Posted by: Gran at September 22, 2013 05:24 PM (nPMjI)

207 204 I originally thought that was a reference to Mercury Morris

Posted by: DAve at September 22, 2013 05:26 PM (b7yum)

208 How are you folks getting working hyperlinks into the comments?
You can't hot link in the comments box but you can link anything (almost) that you want in the URL: that hot links your sock puppet name.

You have to type the http:// manually in the URL: box and then paste in the link's url.

There are a few link types that are blocked in the URL: box like YouTube, various graphics like JPGs, and I think Wikipedia links now too but you'll know if it's been blocked because your comment won't post and you'll get the warning about links that are too long.

If you can't hot link in your sock puppet name, then go to tinyurl and take the long URL link; get the shortened version; and cut and paste it into the comment box. It won't be a hot link but anyone interested in it can check it out for themselves manually.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at September 22, 2013 05:26 PM (K5R1m)

209 207 Oops- my browser is making the URL's functional links. Never mind. Posted by: Gran at September 22, 2013 09:24 PM (nPMjI) It is?! What browser are you using? Or are you talking about the links in people's nic?

Posted by: Tami[/i][/b][/u][/s] at September 22, 2013 05:29 PM (bCEmE)

210 Stop bothering me and let me finish my blue waffle!!!

Posted by: president o'bumbles at September 22, 2013 05:29 PM (K5R1m)

211 TOUCHDOWN!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: navycopjoe at September 22, 2013 05:29 PM (ht6M+)

212 Stupid people should have skin in the game, be made to pay else they stay stupid and never learn.

That's the thing -- the genuinely stupid never do learn, even when it cost them money, even repeatedly, even a LOT of money.  They float around in their own little bubbles completely oblivious to the trail of wreckage they leave in their wake.

Ordinary ignorance of something - simply not knowing, is an entirely different matter.  A non-stupid person will learn from their fuckups that were due to ignorance, and not make the same mistakes repeatedly

Posted by: Purp PhD/MD/Esq/Nobel Laureate[/i][/b][/u][/s] at September 22, 2013 05:31 PM (9MLX+)

213 Assad this would be a good time to remind everyone that you are an asshole. He may be a pansy but he's our pansy.

Posted by: Freak Out! at September 22, 2013 05:32 PM (U7FDe)

214 *yoink*

Posted by: alexthechick - Team No Seriously Fuck All Of This Shit So Hard at September 22, 2013 09:03 PM (Gk3SS)

What the hell does that mean? Should I be insulted or what?


Posted by: Ruthless at September 22, 2013 05:32 PM (ETCgz)

215 That's a compliment, Ruthless. Alexthechick is going to steal that acronym and start using it herself it is so good.

And LOL, fluffy. I thought "blue waffle" was a dog breed before Bing set me straight.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at September 22, 2013 05:36 PM (K5R1m)

216 ONT up

Posted by: DAve at September 22, 2013 05:37 PM (b7yum)

217 That's the thing -- the genuinely stupid never do learn, even when it cost them money

Hmmm... not sure I know anyone that stupid. Most everyone I know, learns not to fuck with me if I let them know that fucking with me is gonna be bad for them!

Posted by: ConcealedKerry or SubMitt at September 22, 2013 05:37 PM (uUXp6)

218 216 That's a compliment, Ruthless

Oh, OK. I hereby grant permission for all Morons to use MPAS. You will find it to be quite useful.

Posted by: Ruthless at September 22, 2013 05:40 PM (ETCgz)

219 That's an NFL thread, DAve, not the ONT.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at September 22, 2013 05:41 PM (K5R1m)

220 learns not to fuck with me

There's the rub -- a genuinely stupid person is so oblivious they don't even realize they're fucking up your shit by doing something stupid. 

They don't plan ahead, don't consider consequences, ignore all safety protocols, etc. 

Malicious pricks who fuck with you intentionally are an entirely different species.

Posted by: Purp PhD/MD/Esq/Nobel Laureate[/i][/b][/u][/s] at September 22, 2013 05:43 PM (9MLX+)

221 Why you need water anyway, aint you got no Brawndo?

Posted by: President Comacho at September 22, 2013 08:08 PM (i9tfZ)

222 Reply to numerous tongue in cheek comments - do not booby trap things on your property then adorn them in an attempt to conceal the trap - it will bite you on the ass.

A guy I know  (who happens to set scaffolding for a living) was tired of teens playing whack a mole with his mailbox so he welded up an armored steel mailbox and welded that to a steel bollard-post filled with concrete. He dressed the bollard with rough sawn boards and finished it with some exterior wood preservative. Looked nice.

The kids drove past and whacked the mole, but this time, the mailbox didn't budge, the kid shattered a crapload of bones in his arm and hand. I guess the bat ricocheted between the mailbox and the side of the car.

I forget the dollar amounts involved in the settlement of the lawsuit that followed.

Don't do it!

Posted by: 13times at September 22, 2013 08:13 PM (fGPLK)

223 True story, worked for a machine manufacturer, built machines that perform manufacturing operations in an assembly line, such as putting together seatbelts or cellphones etc.

     Had to put guarding around the moving parts to protect the people from having their fingers where they shouldn't.  This is a complete polycarbonate box with sensors to detect when the door was closed/open.

   But then we had to put two foot pedals and two thumb sensors so that we knew  where all extremeties were before the machine would begin movement.

    We joked that the smartest engineer in the world couldnt outsmart stupid.

Posted by: Mace of Raids at September 22, 2013 08:19 PM (i9tfZ)

224 The first time would come with a warning, the second time would have come with a Louisville slugger to beat some smart into his ass.

Posted by: SFC MAC at September 23, 2013 04:38 AM (GnxAp)

225 Oh give the guy a break, he is sure that once ObamaCare kicks in he will have lots of money to use on the pool and stuff...

Posted by: walknot at September 23, 2013 08:21 AM (86zol)

226 [8]

Posted by: Red Shirt at September 25, 2013 11:13 AM (FIDMq)

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