Ace of Spades HQ

March 24, 2014

Firenado: The Backstory
— Dave in Texas

So, it turns out one of our morons is a paramedic and firefighter and as it happens was the guy who shot the video of a dust devil dragging hundreds of tumbleweeds into a controlled burn in Colorado (I linked it in the headlines over the weekend).

It also turns out he can kill you with fire tornadoes.

Anyway he wrote "Ask the Blog" and sent along this about how it all went down. Apparently there's a lot of embellishments and claims of "out of control mayhem" and whatnot.

Video and his write up (kinda long but chock full of factual facty things) below the fold. He calls himself "Thomas" but I call him "Prometheus, Bringer of Fire and Also Dude Who Can Kill You With Fire Tornadoes".

You got to respect that right there.

IÂ’m honored to be writing here at AoS, and would have never imagined I would have the opportunity to do so. Thanks, Dave!! (Does this make me an official Moron, or am I still an amateur?)

As for the video of the Firenado, it was a sensational catch on a planned prescribed fire. It took place March 14, 2014 at the Rocky Mountain Arsenal National Wildlife Refuge just outside of Denver, Colorado. The prescribed fire was planned and supervised by the US Fish and Wildlife Service, with other agencies participating, such as the US Forest Service, and several local municipal fire departments that cooperate with the Feds on wild land fire.

Prescribed fire in Colorado is a very sensitive subject. In 2012, the Lower North Fork fire began as a prescribed burn. It was part of a much larger reclamation project for Denver Water with Colorado State Forest Service planning the burns. On March 22nd, a 50 acre unit was burned and a 200 foot perimeter was secured around the burned area. On March 26th, a weather system moved in bringing in hot, dry and windy conditions with gusts over 50 miles per hour. The 4 day smoldering fire was blown over the control lines and the fire became uncontained. The end result was 23 destroyed homes, and three lives were tragically lost.

After this tragedy, a moratorium was placed on all prescribed fire in Colorado while an investigation could determine exactly what happened and how it could be prevented in the future. New rules were drafted in the state regarding prescribed fire and the fire in the video was the first prescribed fire in the state since the new rules went into effect.

There is a tremendous amount of work that goes into creating a prescribed fire burn plan. In essence, A Burn Boss writes a prescription for the conditions needed to safely carry out a fire. Just some of the parameters are temperature, humidity, wind, fuel type, fuel loading within an area, fuel moistures, expected fire behavior, what resources are needed to carry out the burn, etcÂ… There are also parameters as far as distance to any communities, predicted smoke dispersal forecasts, and community notification requirements. Then there are the contingency plans, and contingencies for those. Several of our Â“simpleÂ” prescribed fire plans run over 30 or 40 pages. Only when ALL of the criteria are met, can the prescribed fire proceed.

The fire on the 14th was a 150 acre plan to burn a reclamation area in the refuge. This area had been overgrown for many years, and the plan to burn it had been in place for over 2 years. The unit was mainly grass with a few areas of cottonwood tree stands, animal habitat, several wetlands, a structure, and recreational amenities. The plan was to burn only the grass /weeds, and leave the trees in place for wildlife habitat.

We could not begin laying down fire until after noon, as the smoke dispersal parameters would not be met until then. We donÂ’t want the smoke laying down or drifting low into occupied areas. The entire operation was done very slow and methodical, taking special care when we were putting fire around the structure, the rod and gun blind, and the wildlife habitat. It took between 5 and 6 hours to completely burn the unit.

We were very lucky with our wind throughout the burn. The forecast was for light winds out of the south-southeast pretty much all day. What really happened was a light, steady East wind at 5 to 7 miles per hour with occasional gusts to 10. This was actually better because it allowed us a larger margin of safety around the critical areas, and allowed the fire to carry with the wind exactly where we needed it to go.

The prescribed fire was almost complete when the FIRENADO (!!!!eleventy!!!) video was taken. As we were bringing fire along our control line, a dust devil formed ahead of us. We first saw one, then two, then several tumbleweeds begin to lift. As the dust devil grew, it began to influence our fire. It essentially drew our fire into it and began taking it across our control line. At his point we got out of the way and let it do its thing, as we really canÂ’t engage it. The fire is helping feed the dust devil with energy. The dust devil then took the fire across a small ditch and into an adjacent field of grass. The grass was much shorter and more sparse. Since the fire has less fuel, it has less energy to give the dust devil. This caused the whole thing to dissipate after 4 or 5 minutes.

Once the whole thing ended, we were left with a fire over our control line, which we call a Â“slop overÂ”. The personnel on the prescribed burn immediately engaged and stopped the slop over at about one acre. The whole Â“scaryÂ” event was completely done and over in about 20 minutes. No one was injured and nothing was threatened by the event. We had plans in place for a slop over and they worked perfectly.

The only remarkable thing about this whole event was that I captured it on video. Dust devils are a very common thing on the plains and on wildland fires. I guess a more interesting thing was the amount of tumbleweeds caught in the dust devil and how close we were to it. As the fire came toward us, we were able to go about 60 or 75 feet from where the video started to a safe area and watch it. There never was any panic, just awe at what we got to witness up close.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at 04:15 PM | Comments (179)
Post contains 1099 words, total size 6 kb.

1 First!

Posted by: EC at March 24, 2014 04:16 PM (doBIb)

2 Cool.

Posted by: NCKate at March 24, 2014 04:16 PM (y7PFk)

3 Question: can a Firenado melt steel?

Posted by: EC at March 24, 2014 04:17 PM (doBIb)

4 That is awesome. Scary but awesome.

Posted by: DangerGirl at March 24, 2014 04:18 PM (GrtrJ)

5 And yes, Prometheus! This definitely makes you a Moron with full use of ampersand privileges.

Posted by: EC at March 24, 2014 04:18 PM (doBIb)

6 If only we could harness the power of Firenado and use it for our own purposes. I'm thinking about unleashing it on Washington, D.C. for starters.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at March 24, 2014 04:19 PM (oFCZn)

7 It also turns out he can kill you with fire tornadoes.

I want a firenado. I would use it for good.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD, you taunty bitch. at March 24, 2014 04:20 PM (Gk3SS)

8 How do the enviro weenies feel about controlled burns? Anguished, I hope.

Posted by: EC at March 24, 2014 04:20 PM (doBIb)

9 Whew, that other thread is full of mutants and clowns and shit. Now if we can just get this "firenado" and the clowns together...

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at March 24, 2014 04:20 PM (pgQxn)

10 9 Whew, that other thread is full of mutants and clowns and shit. Now if we can just get this "firenado" and the clowns together... Fireclownado? Shhhh, don't tell AtC!!!

Posted by: EC at March 24, 2014 04:21 PM (doBIb)

11 6 I'm thinking about unleashing it on Washington, D.C. for starters.

I'm all for that, but I'm thinking Beta the thing in S.F. first.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at March 24, 2014 04:22 PM (pgQxn)

12 I need firenado when walkers on the greenway call the fire department on my fire pit.

Posted by: NCKate at March 24, 2014 04:23 PM (y7PFk)

13 Yeah Clutch that other thread turned to shit fast. Wife is watching DWTS I can't take mindless drivel on my tv.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at March 24, 2014 04:23 PM (Q8vlx)

14 Instituting a gas tax would prevent Firenados.

Posted by: Thom-ass Friedman at March 24, 2014 04:23 PM (08jH8)

15 Very cool, interesting read. Thanks for the post.

Posted by: RS at March 24, 2014 04:24 PM (YAGV/)

16 10 Fireclownado? Shhhh, don't tell AtC!!!

They'd find me dead on the sofa with a bunch of empties and the DVR set on repeat,

seriously.

SyFy could just give up on anything else and call it good.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at March 24, 2014 04:24 PM (pgQxn)

17 Fireclownado?

Shhhh, don't tell AtC!!! Posted by: EC at March 24, 2014 08:21 PM (doBIb)

Hmmm. Are the clowns on fire? Does the fireclownado spit out flaming clowns at people?

So. Many. Questions.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD, you taunty bitch. at March 24, 2014 04:24 PM (Gk3SS)

18 Fracking causes firenados everybody knows that. They have studys and shit.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at March 24, 2014 04:25 PM (Q8vlx)

19 Skeletons of Society would have been a good choice for the soundtrack.

Posted by: garrett at March 24, 2014 04:25 PM (mLd1l)

20 Someone get this guy a shirt.

Posted by: JavaJoe at March 24, 2014 04:25 PM (bbk1i)

21 Although here it would be flaming sweet gum balls hurled at passersby.

Posted by: NCKate at March 24, 2014 04:26 PM (y7PFk)

22 Hmmm. Are the clowns on fire? Does the fireclownado spit out flaming clowns at people? Fireclownado would be just that: a tornado of flaming clowns coming at you like the finger of God.

Posted by: EC at March 24, 2014 04:26 PM (doBIb)

23 En Fuego!!!!

Posted by: Ollllddddd meme... at March 24, 2014 04:27 PM (84gbM)

24 FlamingGiantFaceSpidernado. Set on the Capitol during the State of the Union address.

Posted by: DangerGirl at March 24, 2014 04:27 PM (GrtrJ)

25 Which one of the crazy fire dudes was ripping the guitar while the tumbleweeds moshed and raged?

Brah, you were on fire!

Posted by: Fritz at March 24, 2014 04:28 PM (UzPAd)

26 10 9 Whew, that other thread is full of mutants and clowns and shit. Now if we can just get this "firenado" and the clowns together... Fireclownado? Shhhh, don't tell AtC!!! Posted by: EC at March 24, 2014 08:21 PM (doBIb) Does it have a pet Spider?

Posted by: Friday Adams at March 24, 2014 04:28 PM (84gbM)

27 That was very cool and bit scary. Tumbleweeds burn hot and fast. Well I call it hot, we used to burn them as part of spring outdoor cleaning.

Posted by: PaleRider at March 24, 2014 04:29 PM (dUS+X)

28 Morons, as a group, are pretty fucking cool. I would love to find out what all the morons do for a living. It would be threadworthy.

Posted by: Truck Monkey, Gruntled New Business Owner at March 24, 2014 04:30 PM (jucos)

29 That is such an amazingly, awesomely cool video. I can only imagine how incredible it was in person.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 24, 2014 04:31 PM (DmNpO)

30 Do all the firefighters wear stompy boots in Fireclownado? Also, any way to work in a trampoline?

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at March 24, 2014 04:31 PM (oFCZn)

31 28 Like a virtual cocktail party or a meet and greet.

Posted by: NCKate at March 24, 2014 04:31 PM (y7PFk)

32 *staring at firenado*

You can light me on fire, but first you will blow me!

Posted by: Mel Gibson at March 24, 2014 04:31 PM (08jH8)

33 I just hope the inevitable Firenado doesn't encroach on any Fitness Camps. Last thing we need is a bunch of fatties exploding like greasy broiled flesh pinatas all over the place.

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 24, 2014 04:32 PM (ZshNr)

34 I want a firenado. I would use it for good. *** I don't buy it. The next thing you know she'll be lassoing and riding them.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 24, 2014 04:32 PM (DmNpO)

35 I want a firenado. I would use it for good.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD, you taunty bitch. at March 24, 2014 08:20 PM (Gk3SS)

For certain narrowly-defined meanings of "good" of course...

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at March 24, 2014 04:32 PM (V22Sh)

36 Wait. You fight fire with fire?

Posted by: Soothsayer, Lesbian Outreach Coordinator at March 24, 2014 04:33 PM (Hqm6c)

37 Fire whirl

Fire whirls, also known as fire devils, fire tornadoes or firenadoes, are whirlwinds of flame that may occur when intense heat and turbulent wind conditions combine to form whirling eddies of air. These eddies can tighten into a tornado-like structure that sucks in burning debris and combustible gases.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fire_whirl

Posted by: Hepcat at March 24, 2014 04:33 PM (Q4mug)

38 Fire Whirl would be good name for a band. Imagine the pyrotechnics.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at March 24, 2014 04:36 PM (Q8vlx)

39 34 I want a firenado. I would use it for good. *** I don't buy it. The next thing you know she'll be lassoing and riding them. Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 24, 2014 08:32 PM (DmNpO) And forever after she was known as.... Hot Pants...

Posted by: Romeo13 at March 24, 2014 04:36 PM (84gbM)

I watched part of the episode on local news. They just showed the tumble weeds getting sucked into the dust devil, didn't elaborate or mention the "slop over". I was thinking while watching the news clip, "this could get out of hand".

Posted by: Ronster at March 24, 2014 04:36 PM (puNd6)

41 Republicans fight fire by dousing themselves with gasoline.

Posted by: Soothsayer, Lesbian Outreach Coordinator at March 24, 2014 04:37 PM (Hqm6c)

42 6 I'm thinking about unleashing it on Washington, D.C. for starters. First we take DC, next we take Manhattan, and then we take Berlin.

Posted by: angel with a sword at March 24, 2014 04:41 PM (hpgw1)

43 We have a very good crop of tumble weeds this year. In some areas not far from my house, they blow into the county roads between the fences and have to be moved with snow plows so that travel is possible.

Posted by: Ronster at March 24, 2014 04:41 PM (puNd6)

44 Tumblenado!

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 24, 2014 04:44 PM (ZshNr)

45 I want a firenado. I would use it for good. Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD, you taunty bitch. at March 24, 2014 08:20 PM (Gk3SS) *raised eyebrow*

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 24, 2014 04:46 PM (GEICT)

46 Firenado is much like the story of Obama

Posted by: phreshone at March 24, 2014 04:48 PM (kFxpe)

47 On TLC at 9:00: Extreme Cougar Wives 20-something men dating 60-70 year old women. So disturbing.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 24, 2014 04:48 PM (DmNpO)

48 I think the most productive use of a firenado would be to burn the socons out of the GOP.

And babies.

Posted by: jsouthbyeastwest at March 24, 2014 04:49 PM (yRkPK)

49 47 On TLC at 9:00: Extreme Cougar Wives

20-something men dating 60-70 year old women.

So disturbing. Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 24, 2014 08:48 PM (DmNpO)

Ewwwwwwww.

Posted by: DangerGirl at March 24, 2014 04:49 PM (GrtrJ)

50 NDH no just no. Just as disgusting as geezers dating 20&30 year olds.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at March 24, 2014 04:49 PM (Q8vlx)

51 >>>On TLC at 9:00: Extreme Cougar Wives

20-something men dating 60-70 year old women.<<<

Those aren't cougars. Thems be sabretooths.

Posted by: a paleontologist at March 24, 2014 04:50 PM (08jH8)

52 They'd find me dead on the sofa with a bunch of empties and the DVR set on repeat, Outta my way corpsey! *kicks body* A man's got needs!

Posted by: Couchfucker at March 24, 2014 04:50 PM (Oa0CG)

53 Yeah, I'm not buying the whole AtC 'using it for good' argument -- II mean you make one or fifty lawyer jokes, and the next thing you know there's a velociraptor package on its way to your house.

Also, does this firenado make my ass look fat?

Posted by: GnuBreed at March 24, 2014 04:51 PM (wNF3N)

54 So disturbing.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse

That does sound a little disturbing. I guess we could call those boys gold diggers.

Posted by: Ronster at March 24, 2014 04:51 PM (puNd6)

55 I CANNOT stop giggling! I'm soooo tempted to watch it.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 24, 2014 04:51 PM (DmNpO)

56 On TLC at 9:00: Extreme Cougar Wives 20-something men dating 60-70 year old women. So disturbing. Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 24, 2014 08:48 PM (DmNpO) According to my listings, the episode at 10:00 has two women. The first is a 54-year-old dating a 25-year-old. As for the second, I'll quote the blurb: "Jeraldine is 90 years old and enjoys life with her Latin lover."

Posted by: Vendette at March 24, 2014 04:51 PM (8pqpP)

57 Hugo Hackenbush ‏@MangyLover 5m @mflynny The dustier the muffin, the more fun's the stuffin'.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 24, 2014 04:52 PM (DmNpO)

58 Fire whirls, also known as fire devils, fire tornadoes or firenadoes, are whirlwinds of flame that may occur when intense heat and turbulent wind conditions combine to form whirling eddies of air. These eddies can tighten into a tornado-like structure that sucks in burning debris and combustible gases http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fire_whirl Hey! That's my line! You may continue.

Posted by: Soledad O'Brien's Earapiece at March 24, 2014 04:52 PM (Oa0CG)

59 This is what happens when you legalize pot!

Posted by: disgusting oratory at March 24, 2014 04:53 PM (kp5cA)

60 So, it turns out one of our morons is a paramedic and firefighter and as it happens was the guy who shot the video of a dust devil dragging hundreds of tumbleweeds into a controlled burn in Colorado (I linked it in the headlines over the weekend). Small world, eh? I nominate Prometheus for an honorary Platinum membership with one Get Out of Barrel Free card.

Posted by: rickl at March 24, 2014 04:53 PM (sdi6R)

61 Jeraldine won't enjoy life for long methinks.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at March 24, 2014 04:53 PM (Q8vlx)

62 This reminds me of something like this that my brothers tried that got my father an unhappy appearance before his commanding officer.

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at March 24, 2014 04:53 PM (e8kgV)

63 According to my listings, the episode at 10:00 has two women. The first is a 54-year-old dating a 25-year-old. As for the second, I'll quote the blurb: "Jeraldine is 90 years old and enjoys life with her Latin lover." Posted by: Vendette at March 24, 2014 08:51 PM (8pqpP) I guess I could wrap my head around the 54 yr old and the 25 yr old, but 90??? No. Hell no. Just, All of the No.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 24, 2014 04:53 PM (GEICT)

64 Those black smoldering balls circling the Firenado are called carbon credits.

Posted by: Roy at March 24, 2014 04:54 PM (tiOTz)

65

Really People! All I ask for is a shark with a frickin firenado on its head. Is that too much to ask?

Posted by: Dr. Evil at March 24, 2014 04:54 PM (0Kobm)

66 Its goddamn pandemonium out there

Posted by: disgusting oratory at March 24, 2014 04:55 PM (kp5cA)

67 I can guaran-damn-tee that every redneck worth his salt would want to try to outrun one of those with a pickup truck.

Posted by: Roy at March 24, 2014 04:55 PM (tiOTz)

68 I guess if the 60 y.o. looked like Judge Jeanine I could understand. Otherwise no.

Posted by: Ronster at March 24, 2014 04:56 PM (puNd6)

69 Very cool. I have two nephews that do this kind of work during fire season out west. They love it.

Posted by: grammie winger at March 24, 2014 04:56 PM (oMKp3)

70 I can guaran-damn-tee that every redneck worth his salt would want to try to outrun one of those with a pickup truck. *** Hold my beer and watch this.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 24, 2014 04:56 PM (DmNpO)

71 Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at March 24, 2014 08:53 PM (e8kgV) Military surplus Weather balloons bought at a Surplus story... Teenagers... Rolls and rolls of aluminum foil... Strategic Air Command Base... Some assembly required.

Posted by: Romeo13 at March 24, 2014 04:56 PM (84gbM)

72 Roy they would drive right through it. No fear.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at March 24, 2014 04:56 PM (Q8vlx)

73 I guess if the 60 y.o. looked like Judge Jeanine I could understand. Otherwise no. *** What are the odds?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 24, 2014 04:56 PM (DmNpO)

74 "I want a firenado. I would use it for good." May your wish be granted. BTW, I would like to lease it from time to time for a fee of course, after all we are not communists.

Posted by: angel with a sword at March 24, 2014 04:57 PM (hpgw1)

75 47 On TLC at 9:00: Extreme Cougar Wives

20-something men dating 60-70 year old women.

So disturbing.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 24, 2014 08:48 PM (DmNpO)

Age ain'ts nothings but numbers!! I have to go sets DVR.

Posted by: Skwisgaar at March 24, 2014 04:57 PM (M5T54)

76 74 "I want a firenado. I would use it for good." May your wish be granted. BTW, I would like to lease it from time to time for a fee of course, after all we are not communists. Posted by: angel with a sword at March 24, 2014 08:57 PM (hpgw1) /hands them bills for the carbon credits...

Posted by: EPA at March 24, 2014 04:59 PM (84gbM)

77 I guess I could wrap my head around the 54 yr old and the 25 yr old, but 90??? No. Hell no. Just, All of the No. Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 24, 2014 08:53 PM (GEICT)

Posted by: Thrawn at March 24, 2014 04:59 PM (WlWt+)

78 Tom Nichols ‏@TheWarRoom_Tom Current state of pro -#Snowden arguments: 1. He did a great thing 2. He had to go to Russia 3. All else is coincidence 4. Also, shut up

Posted by: Marco Antonio Regil at March 24, 2014 05:00 PM (ZPrif)

79 I guess I could wrap my head around the 54 yr old and the 25 yr old, but 90??? No. Hell no. Just, All of the No. Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 24, 2014 08:53 PM (GEICT) I was about to say that it didn't work so well for Anna Nicole Smith.

Posted by: Thrawn at March 24, 2014 05:00 PM (WlWt+)

80 I thought TLC stood for the learning channel. Wow all those networks really dredge the depths now.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at March 24, 2014 05:01 PM (Q8vlx)

81 First up: 53 and 21. (I'm giving up hockey to watch a bit of this because I'm a giver.)

Posted by: Vendette at March 24, 2014 05:01 PM (8pqpP)

82 Carbon credits? I don't need no stinking carbon credits if I can unleash the power of FIRENADO! And, I promise not to burn babies, but there is no daily bag limit on angry fat justice lesbians.

Posted by: angel with a sword at March 24, 2014 05:02 PM (hpgw1)

83 7 It also turns out he can kill you with fire tornadoes.

I want a firenado. I would use it for good.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD, you taunty bitch. at March 24, 2014 08:20 PM (Gk3SS)

Sorry ATC but 'heh'.

Posted by: Guido at March 24, 2014 05:02 PM (15qFH)

84 No. Hell no. Just, All of the No. *** tee hee hee

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 24, 2014 05:02 PM (DmNpO)

85 Next, 65 and 28.

Posted by: Vendette at March 24, 2014 05:03 PM (8pqpP)

86 It's Dave Navarro!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 24, 2014 05:03 PM (DmNpO)

87 watching Dancing With The Stars the girl with metal legs

Posted by: Soothsayer, Lesbian Outreach Coordinator at March 24, 2014 05:04 PM (Hqm6c)

88 I would rather ride the lightning than a firenado. It seems faster.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at March 24, 2014 05:04 PM (Q8vlx)

89 86 It's Dave Navarro! Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 24, 2014 09:03 PM (DmNpO) I'm assuming some Barbie stripper chick?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 24, 2014 05:05 PM (GEICT)

90 Sooth: You mean Lt. Dan?

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at March 24, 2014 05:05 PM (Q8vlx)

91 Finally, the 76 year old on the prowl.

Posted by: Vendette at March 24, 2014 05:06 PM (8pqpP)

92 I'm assuming some Barbie stripper chick? *** No way dude. She's middle age and fat, like me.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 24, 2014 05:06 PM (DmNpO)

93 Instead of using Metal for the soundtrack, I would have used a Polka. But that's just me.

Posted by: lowandslow at March 24, 2014 05:07 PM (IV4od)

94 WTF?!!!! I can't even get a date!!!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 24, 2014 05:07 PM (DmNpO)

95 There's a Firenado in my pants.

Posted by: Toni Weiner at March 24, 2014 05:08 PM (Dwehj)

96 All my 85 year old mil is "staying" with a 90 something year old dude. Do they like flip a coin to see who dials911?

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at March 24, 2014 05:08 PM (Q8vlx)

97 96 All my 85 year old mil is "staying" with a 90 something year old dude. Do they like flip a coin to see who dials911? Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at March 24, 2014 09:08 PM (Q8vlx) Hopefully they have LifeAlert.

Posted by: Insomniac at March 24, 2014 05:09 PM (mx5oN)

98 WTF?!!!! I can't even get a date!!!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 24, 2014 09:07 PM (DmNpO)

I hear ya. Of course, I DO live with my kids...

but there will be 3 less of them come May.

No cougars though. A little older is OK, a little younger is OK, but no more than 7 years either way...which puts the range at 40-55 or so.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at March 24, 2014 05:10 PM (V22Sh)

99 WTF?!!!! I can't even get a date!!! Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 24, 2014 09:07 PM (DmNpO) I can only get through this with the mute button in heavy use. Apparently the 65 year old's hubby died while they were having sex so she decided to only date younger men.

Posted by: Vendette at March 24, 2014 05:10 PM (8pqpP)

100 All my 85 year old mil is "staying" with a 90 something year old dude. Do they like flip a coin to see who dials911? *** I think that's sweet. My great-grandfather met a woman in his nursing home and remarried at, IIRC, 91. She was in her late 80's.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 24, 2014 05:10 PM (DmNpO)

101 Following last week's prediction that Fox planned to release the sequel to Ridley Scott's Prometheus on March 4th, 2016 comes confirmation via The Wrap who claims insiders have assured them that the release date for Prometheus 2 is in fact true.

Posted by: Lee Harvey Oswald at March 24, 2014 05:10 PM (e8kgV)

102 Alex the Chick harnessing the power of a Firenado and use it for good? Reminds me of the old Benny Hill skit, in which he played Fred Scuttle tourist planner. His ad said vacations at popular prices, when asked how much a vacation would cost, he gave a pricey quote. The interviewer then said, "I would hardly call those popular prices" to which Scuttle would reply, "well, I like 'em".

Posted by: Darth Randall at March 24, 2014 05:10 PM (6n332)

103 Insomniac I never thought of that. Our new technology frightens these people.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at March 24, 2014 05:10 PM (Q8vlx)

104 WTF?!!!! I can't even get a date!!! Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse Hmmm...well it's not really my style, but I guess that's around the same size. And motionless.... Call me!

Posted by: Couchfucker at March 24, 2014 05:10 PM (Oa0CG)

105 I'm actually watching Dave Navarro...on Ink Master. He's such a prick.

Posted by: DangerGirl at March 24, 2014 05:10 PM (GrtrJ)

106 Apparently the 65 year old's hubby died while they were having sex so she decided to only date younger men.

Posted by: Vendette at March 24, 2014 09:10 PM (8pqpP)

I heard a joke like that once...

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at March 24, 2014 05:11 PM (V22Sh)

107

Hopefully they have LifeAlert.

Every older person I've known that has LifeAlert does not use it when needed.

Of course the EMT's will show up to find that they are accidentally sitting on the thing

Posted by: PMRich at March 24, 2014 05:13 PM (KDUNf)

108 NDH it is I guess my wife kind of struggles with it. But, it's none of my business. Everybody should have a chance to be happy as far as I'm concerned.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at March 24, 2014 05:13 PM (Q8vlx)

109 Just saw an ad for the new Johnny Depp movie Transcendence. Is he supposed to be Brainiac?

Posted by: Soothsayer, Lesbian Outreach Coordinator at March 24, 2014 05:14 PM (Hqm6c)

110 WTF?!!!! I can't even get a date!!!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 24, 2014 09:07 PM (DmNpO)

Apropos of nothing, I suppose, I'm in town. What say we get some of the roonz/roonettez together for lunch? BCochran mentioned something about it this morning.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at March 24, 2014 05:14 PM (V22Sh)

111 Apropos of nothing, I suppose, I'm in town. What say we get some of the roonz/roonettez together for lunch? BCochran mentioned something about it this morning. *** I'm up for it.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 24, 2014 05:15 PM (DmNpO)

112 "Just saw an ad for the new Johnny Depp movie Transcendence."

Is he wearing make up? Cause that would be something new for him.

Posted by: lowandslow at March 24, 2014 05:16 PM (IV4od)

113 OK, so you're 21, you're living with your parents, and you have to send your girlfriend, who is older than your mother, in and out through the window?

Posted by: Vendette at March 24, 2014 05:16 PM (8pqpP)

114 >>>On TLC at 9:00: Extreme Cougar Wives You rang?

Posted by: DC in Towson at March 24, 2014 05:16 PM (6NGyP)

115 I'm up for it.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 24, 2014 09:15 PM (DmNpO)

Cool. We should see if we can assemble the Horde on the ONT then.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at March 24, 2014 05:16 PM (V22Sh)

116 OK, so you're 21, you're living with your parents, and you have to send your girlfriend, who is older than your mother, in and out through the window?

Posted by: Vendette at March 24, 2014 09:16 PM (8pqpP)

I would hope she'd have her own place...

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at March 24, 2014 05:17 PM (V22Sh)

117 Weiner!

Posted by: Toni Weiner at March 24, 2014 05:18 PM (Dwehj)

118 I would hope she'd have her own place... Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at March 24, 2014 09:17 PM (V22Sh) Where's the made-for-reality-TV controversy in that? Meanwhile, the 76 year old is on a date with a 29 year old. Key quote from him, "She was not what I expected."

Posted by: Vendette at March 24, 2014 05:18 PM (8pqpP)

119 I would hope she'd have her own place...

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter

Only one problem. It's a nursing home.

Posted by: Ronster at March 24, 2014 05:18 PM (puNd6)

120 Hey Horde! Can any of you super wonderful sincerely smart people answer a question for me? It does not involve boobs, booze, or guns. Papamayhem worked at a golf course, mixed chemicals using a very cool glass bottle as a measuring device. When he retired he kept the cool bottle. I found it, I stole it, now I want to use it. Is it possible to use this bottle for a soap or lotion dispenser without causing a Toxic Avenger situation? Or would harmful and nasty chemical gak have permeated the glass and leach out into my lotion?

Posted by: madamemayhem (still on a hate binge) at March 24, 2014 05:19 PM (WPm3x)

121 Ronster really I don't get out enough I guess. I can't wrap my head around that.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at March 24, 2014 05:20 PM (Q8vlx)

122 My wife is 8/9 years my senior. Met her when I was 26 and she was 34. I'm 41 now. It's been awesome ever since. Cougars FTW!!!

Posted by: EC at March 24, 2014 05:21 PM (doBIb)

123 Can any of you super wonderful sincerely smart people answer a question for me? It does not involve boobs, booze, or guns. *turns and walks away*

Posted by: EC at March 24, 2014 05:22 PM (doBIb)

124 106 Apparently the 65 year old's hubby died while they were having sex so she decided to only date younger men. Posted by: Vendette at March 24, 2014 09:10 PM (8pq Yeah, that's been my plan.

Posted by: Happy Rockerfeller at March 24, 2014 05:22 PM (0FSuD)

125

I can't wrap my head around that.

I don't know what you are referring to. If it was my last comment, that was supposed to be a joke.

Posted by: Ronster at March 24, 2014 05:22 PM (puNd6)

126 EC Nothin wrong with that. Live well my friend.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at March 24, 2014 05:22 PM (Q8vlx)

127 When I was a kid, we had a big field next door that got tall grass in the summers. One summer the people that owned it mowed the field and it was stacked with hay, unharvested. I went out there and piled hay into stacks and created a cool hay fort, just to build something I suppose.
Then the field got windy, strangely so, and I looked around to see a miniature tornado coming toward me: a dust devil. It swept across me, through my fort, and picked it all up. The wind was fierce, like sticking your head out of the window while on the highway, and it went out down the field then fell apart over the road, strewing my hay fort over about 100 feet.
I just stood there a long time in amazement at the power of the wind and what had just happen, all alone in the world with nobody to see. It was just astonishing, not frightening, but truly amazing.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at March 24, 2014 05:23 PM (zfY+H)

128 Meanwhile, the 76 year old is on a date with a 29 year old. What the what?

Posted by: Insomniac at March 24, 2014 05:23 PM (mx5oN)

129 As I write, the website of ServiceNow, a large Santa ClaraÂ–based I.T. services company, features the following advisory in large letters atop its Â“careersÂ” page: Â“We Want People Who Have Their Best Work Ahead of Them, Not Behind Them.Â”

And thatÂ’s just what gets said in public. An engineer in his forties recently told me about meeting a tech CEO who was trying to acquire his company. Â“You must be the token graybeard,Â” said the CEO, who was in his late twenties or early thirties. Â“I looked at him and said, Â‘No, IÂ’m the token grown-up.Â’ Â”

Posted by: Steve Jobs at March 24, 2014 05:23 PM (e8kgV)

130 Ronster the nursing home thing.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at March 24, 2014 05:23 PM (Q8vlx)

131 >>>Apparently the 65 year old's hubby died while they were having sex so she decided to only date younger men.

Posted by: Vendette at March 24, 2014 09:10 PM (8pqpP)<<<

WTH? I'm available. And unkillable.

Posted by: Abe Vigoda at March 24, 2014 05:23 PM (08jH8)

132 >>>Or would harmful and nasty chemical gak have permeated the glass and leach out into my lotion? Glass is used in those applications because it doesn't absorb anything, unlike plastic. Clean it three times with a high quality cleaner. Then clean it again. And one more time for good measure.

Posted by: DC in Towson at March 24, 2014 05:23 PM (6NGyP)

133 Just as disgusting as geezers dating 20&30 year olds.

Somebody sounds a little 'bossy'

Posted by: SpongeBobSaget at March 24, 2014 05:24 PM (kxSZr)

134 Cathy Alterman ‏@CuriousLemming 3m Phone used to speak to pilot of Malaysian #MH370 bought with false identity http://t.co/NGS8SaTY5S "In a separate development, The Mail on Sunday has learned that investigators are now poised to question Captain ShahÂ’s estranged wife in detail. They have waited two weeks out of respect, but will now begin formally interviewing Faizah Khan following pressure from FBI agents assisting the inquiry." Respect?! With 200+ people missing?!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 24, 2014 05:24 PM (DmNpO)

135 123 Can any of you super wonderful sincerely smart people answer a question for me? It does not involve boobs, booze, or guns. *turns and walks away* Posted by: EC at March 24, 2014 09:22 PM (doBIb) *walks back* Run it through the dishwasher a couple of times before you use it. That should clean it out.

Posted by: EC at March 24, 2014 05:25 PM (doBIb)

136 Or would harmful and nasty chemical gak have permeated the glass and leach out into my lotion?

Posted by: madamemayhem (still on a hate binge) at March 24, 2014 09:19 PM

If it is glass, just wah it up and you will be fine. The only chemical that I can think of off the top of my head that will permeate glass is Hydrofluoric Acid. It would have a noticable effect.

Posted by: Ronster at March 24, 2014 05:26 PM (puNd6)

137 Is it possible to use this bottle for a soap or lotion dispenser without causing a Toxic Avenger situation? Or would harmful and nasty chemical gak have permeated the glass and leach out into my lotion?

Posted by: madamemayhem (still on a hate binge) at March 24, 2014 09:19 PM (WPm3x)

I would think so, just wash it and then boil it for 15 minutes or so like you would do to sterilize baby bottles.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at March 24, 2014 05:26 PM (V22Sh)

138 120 >> Is it possible to use this bottle for a soap or lotion dispenser without causing a Toxic Avenger situation? Or would harmful and nasty chemical gak have permeated the glass and leach out into my lotion?

Wash it out with hot soapy water and a bottle brush 4 or 5 times, rinse well, let dry, and examine it for any residues. If there are none, you're good to go.

Chemists reuse beakers and such all the time after a good hot cleaning.

Posted by: GnuBreed at March 24, 2014 05:27 PM (wNF3N)

139 >>>122 My wife is 8/9 years my senior. Met her when I was 26 and she was 34. I'm 41 now. It's been awesome ever since. Cougars FTW!!! Cougar is 12.5 older than I am. Met her when I was 24, she was 36. Seven years and one beautiful daughter later, I'm as happy as I've ever been. Plus, she wears a size 2, and is in better shape now than when I met her. So yeah....Cougars FTW!

Posted by: DC in Towson at March 24, 2014 05:28 PM (6NGyP)

140 126 EC Nothin wrong with that. Live well my friend. Thanks Chavez! I hit the lottery on my first go. My friends thought I was crazy. Her father said to me at the church a half hour before the ceremony: "you know, there's still time to run!" Hee hee!

Posted by: EC at March 24, 2014 05:28 PM (doBIb)

141

Chavez the Hugo

That was meant as a joke.

Posted by: Ronster at March 24, 2014 05:28 PM (puNd6)

142 So yeah....Cougars FTW! *high fives DC* You know it!

Posted by: EC at March 24, 2014 05:29 PM (doBIb)

143 So you can just add -nado to any word? In that case I once had an ingrown toe-nado. It was awesome.

Posted by: Seamus M at March 24, 2014 05:32 PM (g4TxM)

144 Were those Nazi tumble weeds?

Posted by: Mike Hammer at March 24, 2014 05:32 PM (aDwsi)

145 Key quote from him, "She was not what I expected."

Posted by: Vendette at March 24, 2014 09:18 PM (8pqpP)

I wonder what he expected...

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at March 24, 2014 05:33 PM (V22Sh)

146 Thanks folks! I would never ever use that bottle for drinking purposes since it probably had chlordane in it at one time or another, but I figured a good soak in bleach water might make it user friendly. Thanks for the 411! Oh and ALL HAIL INDIANA!!! We are officially the first state to renounce that Common Core garbage. YAY!!

Posted by: madamemayhem at March 24, 2014 05:33 PM (WPm3x)

147 Rational explanation aside, that video looks like a sure sign of the arriving Apocalypse.

Posted by: Lauren at March 24, 2014 05:33 PM (hFL/3)

148 He made her a "special breakfast" It's a hotdog and eggs!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 24, 2014 05:33 PM (DmNpO)

149 Chemists reuse beakers and such all the time after a good hot cleaning. Posted by: GnuBreed ----------------- ... by an intern, or an undergraduate.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at March 24, 2014 05:34 PM (aDwsi)

150 Oh and ALL HAIL INDIANA!!! We are officially the first state to renounce that Common Core garbage. YAY!!

Posted by: madamemayhem at March 24, 2014 09:33 PM (WPm3x)

hmmm...well, when I move I'm not going to have school-age children so I guess that's not such a big thing for me.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at March 24, 2014 05:34 PM (V22Sh)

151 Rational explanation aside, that video looks like a sure sign of the arriving Apocalypse. Posted by: Lauren at March 24, 2014 09:33 PM (hFL/3) No, the sure sign of the arriving Apocalypse was the video of Obama taking the oath of office on January 20, 2009,

Posted by: Sean Bannion [/i][/s][/u][/b] at March 24, 2014 05:34 PM (yz6yg)

152 148 He made her a "special breakfast" It's a hotdog and eggs! No bacon? Dump his ass.

Posted by: EC at March 24, 2014 05:35 PM (doBIb)

153 He made her a "special breakfast"

It's a hotdog and eggs!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 24, 2014 09:33 PM (DmNpO)

o.O

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at March 24, 2014 05:35 PM (V22Sh)

154 127 I just stood there a long time in amazement at the power of the wind and what had just happen, all alone in the world with nobody to see. It was just astonishing, not frightening, but truly amazing. Posted by: Christopher Taylor at March 24, 2014 09:23 PM (zfY+H) I remember a "leaf devil" when I was a kid. It was in the fall when leaves were laying on the ground. A small vortex formed, picked up some leaves, and whirled them around right in front of me. It wasn't powerful at all, just tiny and gentle. But I had read about tornadoes and seen pictures, and thought it was cool that I was so close to a little teeny one.

Posted by: rickl at March 24, 2014 05:35 PM (sdi6R)

155 Can we send this man to DC during SOTU?

Posted by: Richard McEnroe at March 24, 2014 05:35 PM (XO6WW)

156 Just as disgusting as geezers dating 2030 year olds. ------------------ Not disgusting if you are a 2035 year-old geezer.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at March 24, 2014 05:36 PM (aDwsi)

157 Next: Fire Tsunami

Posted by: Dr. Varno at March 24, 2014 05:37 PM (V4CBV)

158 156 Just as disgusting as geezers dating 2030 year olds. ------------------ Not disgusting if you are a 2035 year-old geezer. Posted by: Mike Hammer at March 24, 2014 09:36 PM (aDwsi) Damn, now that's old!

Posted by: Methuselah at March 24, 2014 05:37 PM (mx5oN)

159 156 Just as disgusting as geezers dating 2030 year olds. ------------------ Not disgusting if you are a 2035 year-old geezer. Posted by: Mike Hammer at March 24, 2014 09:36 PM (aDwsi) Are we talking about Vic?

Posted by: EC at March 24, 2014 05:38 PM (doBIb)

160 So who's getting the ONT tonight? Anyone know, or is it a surprise?

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at March 24, 2014 05:38 PM (V22Sh)

161 156 Just as disgusting as geezers dating 2030 year olds. ------------------ Not disgusting if you are a 2035 year-old geezer. Posted by: Mike Hammer at March 24, 2014 09:36 PM (aDwsi) Word...

Posted by: Lazurus at March 24, 2014 05:39 PM (84gbM)

162 Are we talking about Vic? Posted by: EC ------------- Vic?..., uh, oh..., yeah.. that's it. We're talking about Vic.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at March 24, 2014 05:39 PM (aDwsi)

163 Check out this dust devil that erupted in the middle of some Japanese kids' soccer game: http://tinyurl.com/mc2poof

Posted by: Dr. Varno at March 24, 2014 05:40 PM (V4CBV)

164 ... by an intern, or an undergraduate.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at March 24, 2014 09:34 PM (aDwsi)

Not if you just have a chemistry BS degree; no flunkies for me. Like a cook, you have to wash the damn dishes afterwards.

Posted by: GnuBreed at March 24, 2014 05:41 PM (wNF3N)

165 If I were going to date a 2030 year old I would want her hyphen intact.

Posted by: Shameless M at March 24, 2014 05:41 PM (g4TxM)

166 Check out this dust devil that erupted in the middle of some Japanese kids' soccer game: http://tinyurl.com/mc2poof ------------- Big deal.

Posted by: Dorothy at March 24, 2014 05:42 PM (aDwsi)

167 Yeah I missed a hymen in there. Fuckin ipad.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at March 24, 2014 05:42 PM (Q8vlx)

168 Not if you just have a chemistry BS degree; no flunkies for me. Like a cook, you have to wash the damn dishes afterwards. Posted by: GnuBreed ----------------- Press for non-paid intern. Play on social/civic duty, and benefits to the lab: "I can get more done.."

Posted by: Mike Hammer at March 24, 2014 05:44 PM (aDwsi)

169 Oh. En. Tee.

Posted by: DC in Towson at March 24, 2014 05:45 PM (6NGyP)

170 Token graybeard. Huh Huh he said beard. Beavis

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at March 24, 2014 05:45 PM (Q8vlx)

171 Intact hyphen: -

Posted by: Mike Hammer at March 24, 2014 05:45 PM (aDwsi)

172 Nood, for any lingerers.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at March 24, 2014 05:55 PM (aDwsi)

173

Great video, and thanks for the write-up, Thomas/Prometheus.

Very Cool.

I watched it yesterday, from the link in the Sidebar.

Those firenado things have sprouted up here in OK too, during the wildfires.

Posted by: wheatie at March 24, 2014 06:15 PM (De5Op)

174 We had a controlled burn last week in the upstate of South Carolina. Not sure how many acres were burned, but worried me a bit because it's on my daily drive through the Sumter National Forest. I got a picture from the highway, but I only know how to post it from my phone to twitter.

Our burn was different than the burn you shot in your video because of the number of trees and the sometimes quite heavy under growth. The forestry guy I talked to said it was a wildlife burn.

The forestry service had numerous assets ready in case it got out of control.

Thanks for sharing that.

Posted by: ObamaCare Hurts My Ass at March 24, 2014 07:02 PM (R5lpX)

175 Can you put out a firenado with a larger sharknado? I think so, just like the matter-antimatter on Star Trek. Next up: Firenado from Space.

Posted by: alphabaker at March 24, 2014 08:50 PM (Wfp8t)

176

My fiance used to live out in Maricopa here in AZ and some of the dust devils I witnessed were incredible.

There were also times where about a dozen were going at once.
Pretty cool. Never thought about a fire devil tho.

Posted by: Tilikum the Killer Assault Whale at March 24, 2014 09:10 PM (hLS6Q)

177 Back in highschool a teacher told us a hurricane had the energy equivalent to a hydrogen bomb. One of my not-right-in-the-head classmatrs asked why we didn't just detonate an h-bomb in the eye to dissipate it. He was quite serious.

Posted by: Tilikum the Killer Assault Whale at March 24, 2014 09:12 PM (hLS6Q)

178

Posted by: Vic[/i] at March 25, 2014 02:44 AM (T2V/1)

179 sock

Posted by: lowandslow at March 27, 2014 01:35 PM (IV4od)

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