February 25, 2014

Only In New York
— Ace

I can't really summarize this into a headline.

A real-estate honcho and amateur painter — furious that this ex-girlfriend was dating someone else — allegedly slipped into her Tribeca apartment and drew penises on his own artwork, sources said Monday.

...

“I became unhappy when I found out she was having an affair,” Ludwick, 41, told The Post before his appearance Monday in Manhattan Criminal Court. “I augmented my work to reflect my emotions at that moment.”

Ludwick used his own key to enter Trevisan’s apartment at around 11:30 p.m. and painted yellow images “in the shape of penises” on his artwork, a Criminal Court complaint says.

Trevisan, corporate director of food and beverage at the Gansevoort Hotel Group, came home to find her apartment trashed.

“It’s all my artwork,” Ludwick said. “I’m an amateur artist, and they’re displayed in my place. I just wanted to update the pieces.”

Ludwick had previously ditched his wife and two kids to shack up with this Trevisan woman, with whom he was having an affair. When he learned that she was seeing another man (I don't know if this was "cheating" or if Trevisan had terminated the relationship), he resorted to various harassments, such as sending lewd emails to her bosses and colleagues informing them she had affairs with married men, and also noting that she is, in his estimation, a "harlot."

He was arrested last Wednesday and is charged with computer trespassing, aggravated harassment, criminal mischief, stalking, impersonation (?), and being a Bad Breaker-Upper.

By the way, the article has a picture of the woman dressed in a Sexy Santa's Helper Outfit, because, I guess, part of the state's burden in proving these crimes is answering the question "Would You Hit That?"

I think they can answer this satisfactorily, but it's not as easy a call as I might like.

Santa had no comment and referred inquiries to his lawyer.

In related news, people are just monsters, generally.

A second wave of retired New York firefighters and police was arrested on Tuesday on disability fraud charges tied to a September 11 pension fraud, said a source involved in the investigation.

A massive ongoing investigation by Manhattan District Attorney Cyrus Vance's office had, in January, led to disability fraud charges against 106 suspects - 80 of them retired New York cops and firefighters - with some accused of falsely claiming to have been traumatized by the September 11, 2001 attacks on the city.

On Tuesday, authorities rounded up 28 suspects, including 16 more retired police officers, four former firefighters, and a retired New York City Department of Corrections employee, the source told Reuters.

Vance said the total amount stolen from taxpayers could reach $400 million.

Using 9/11 as cover for a huge swindle of taxpayer generosity -- Of course.

Of course.

But before y'all Country People get to fixin' to say them city types are queer folk, I guess I should mention this, too: farmer calls cops on two men filming "Cow Porn" video with his sexiest bessies.

Open Thread.

Posted by: Ace at 03:00 PM | Comments (500)
Post contains 525 words, total size 4 kb.

1 We were hacked!!!

Posted by: the Ludwick paintings at February 25, 2014 03:04 PM (UIxS+)

2
"I can't really summarize this into a headline."




Nixed Hick Dicks Pics

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at February 25, 2014 03:04 PM (kdS6q)

3 She's no Kate Upton.  Not Helen Thomas for that matter.

Posted by: pep at February 25, 2014 03:04 PM (6TB1Z)

4 We are perpetual children

Posted by: Zakn at February 25, 2014 03:05 PM (zyaZ1)

5 Come on, it was the cows that drew the penises on that guy's art. I've seen too many of those commercials to believe otherwise.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit[/i][/u][/b][/s] at February 25, 2014 03:05 PM (0HooB)

6 Stop the world, I want to get off.

Posted by: toby928© at February 25, 2014 03:06 PM (QupBk)

7 Humanity is on a downslide.

Posted by: DangerGirl at February 25, 2014 03:06 PM (GrtrJ)

8 And things were so promising until that last link . . .

Posted by: RS at February 25, 2014 03:06 PM (YAGV/)

9

Using 9/11 as cover for a huge swindle of taxpayer generosity -- Of course.

Of course.

The promise of government money turns people into monsters.  Government money really is a zero-sum game, so naturally people will resort to all kinds of evil to get it. 

"Mommy, when I grow up, I want to be a VICTIM!  It's the best career ever!"

Posted by: Null at February 25, 2014 03:07 PM (xjpRj)

10 farmer calls cops on two men filming "Cow Porn" video with his sexiest bessies.

You know what we need?  A booth at CPAC, that's what.

Posted by: Cow Porn videographers at February 25, 2014 03:07 PM (6TB1Z)

11 I'd hit it. With one of those really big candy canes, you know, the two-footers.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit[/i][/u][/b][/s] at February 25, 2014 03:08 PM (0HooB)

12 >>>Nixed Hick Dicks Pics that is great but he's not a hick... what else you got?

Posted by: ace at February 25, 2014 03:08 PM (/FnUH)

13 The farmer says he grew suspicious when his cows stopped producing as much milk and “seemed anxious.” So he set up a hidden camera to see what was going on in the barn when he wasn’t there. There is all kinds of love, who are you to judge? H8r. Moove along, nothing to see here.

Posted by: AmishDude at February 25, 2014 03:08 PM (T0NGe)

14 Vexed Ex?

Posted by: ace at February 25, 2014 03:09 PM (/FnUH)

15 The adulterer was outraged by his mistress' unwillingness to be faithful to him. Oh, the irony. The delicious irony.

Posted by: Trivial Pursuer at February 25, 2014 03:09 PM (llU/N)

16 Moove along, nothing to see here. Posted by: AmishDude

I wondered how long it would take.  Udderly predictable.

Posted by: pep at February 25, 2014 03:09 PM (6TB1Z)

17 "Fuk mor chikins"

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit[/i][/u][/b][/s] at February 25, 2014 03:10 PM (0HooB)

18 the first story is confusing -- it kinda seems like its a feud between a couple of lesbos

Posted by: Soothsayer at February 25, 2014 03:11 PM (GAlP7)

19 Those cow porn guys?  Teat men.

Posted by: huerfano at February 25, 2014 03:11 PM (bAGA/)

20 Listen - A country in decline may be bad, but it is also historical.  Sure we have no credibility in world affairs anymore, and sure there is no way in hell that we will ever be able to pay back all we owe, but this is HISTORY.  

We need to leverage this.  With the right PR campaign, this could be a mini boon!  We could charge admission!  Come to America and witness HISTORY.  Forget Rome.  Come and witness the decline and fall of a great country.  Tickets are going fast, so don't miss out.  Don't forget to ask about our senior discounts. 


*Illegal immigrants admitted free.


Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at February 25, 2014 03:11 PM (BZAd3)

21 guys fucking cows doesn't cost me any money might even tenderize em so what do I freaking care nice attempt at equivalence tho

Posted by: Black Orchid at February 25, 2014 03:12 PM (pS66t)

22 Spurned Paramour Dabbles Dongs

Posted by: panzernashorn at February 25, 2014 03:12 PM (MhA4j)

23 Forget Rome. Come and witness the decline and fall of a great country.

Yeah, turns out there is a downside.

Posted by: Stanley Baldwin and Neville Chamberlain at February 25, 2014 03:14 PM (6TB1Z)

24 The devolution of man



Posted by: Devo at February 25, 2014 03:14 PM (Q6pxP)

25 >>>guys fucking cows doesn't cost me any money might even tenderize em so what do I freaking care nice attempt at equivalence tho ... oh my god are you serious? Some of you need to disburden your shoulders of the GIGANTIC FUCKING CHIP that weighs you down. It was a fucking JOKE. Lighten up, Francis.

Posted by: ace at February 25, 2014 03:14 PM (/FnUH)

26 Who says times are tough? If high-paying positions such "corporate director for food and beverage" exist...

Posted by: Soothsayer at February 25, 2014 03:14 PM (GAlP7)

27 I can't take it. Good night.

Posted by: ace at February 25, 2014 03:14 PM (/FnUH)

28 Growing so terribly tired of the humans on this planet...

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit[/i][/u][/b][/s] at February 25, 2014 03:14 PM (0HooB)

29 things are not worse!...JJJustified !

Posted by: concrete girl at February 25, 2014 03:15 PM (Hnt/r)

30 I call it the Ludweeno Treatment.

Posted by: s. Ludwick[/i] [/b] at February 25, 2014 03:15 PM (xrX4n)

31 you're so sensitive, I was wondering! but no you're right of course, that story is hilarious. what was I thinking?!?! so so funny they do a lot of meth out there! hahaha that's cray cray

Posted by: Black Orchid Points and Laughs at Hicks at February 25, 2014 03:15 PM (pS66t)

32

[Ace:] ..."In related news, people are just monsters, generally."

 

Well, some people are, Ace...some people, not all people.

 

These are all NY stories, aren't they?

 

When you have a shitload of people in a small geographic area, you're going to have more monsters because it's a larger population.

Law of averages, I guess.

 

 

Posted by: wheatie at February 25, 2014 03:16 PM (DEUoo)

33 OK udder Morons, I must surrender our only working laptop to B'Gal. Y'all have fun and try not to trash the place, 'k?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit[/i][/u][/b][/s] at February 25, 2014 03:16 PM (0HooB)

34 Bewbs on Santa's helper?

'taint the real McCoys.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at February 25, 2014 03:17 PM (4Mv1T)

35 I don't have cattle, but I do have sheep and chickens. Anyone getting a woody around my livestock earns a chest full of 00 buck and a midnight visit to my neighbors hog farmÂ…. they eat everything, including the bones.

Posted by: Angel with a sword at February 25, 2014 03:17 PM (hpgw1)

36 Using 9/11 1/20/2009 as cover for a huge swindle of taxpayer generosity.

Posted by: YIKES! at February 25, 2014 03:17 PM (mETGQ)

37 The cow thing I understand but drawing penises on artwork? That's Hitler-like.

Posted by: Dr Spank at February 25, 2014 03:18 PM (hn70M)

38

Sick dick sticks pricks in chick's pix.

Hey, what do I win?

Posted by: dr kill at February 25, 2014 03:18 PM (uJbZ6)

39 they do a lot of meth out there! hahaha that's cray cray Posted by: Black Orchid Points and Laughs at Hicks at February 25, 2014 07:15 PM (pS66t) You're not speaking for likeÂ…personal experience or anythingÂ…are you?

Posted by: Sean Bannion [/i][/s][/u][/b] at February 25, 2014 03:18 PM (yz6yg)

40 First they came for the guy who drew penises on his ex-girlfriend's art work and I said nothing, because I only posted penises on Twitter.

Posted by: Anthony Wiener at February 25, 2014 03:18 PM (8ZskC)

41 I just want to keep posting the fees of the school obama sends his kids to while he tells everyone else to make sacrifices especially the Military: Tuition for 2013-2014 Lower School $34,288 (includes hot lunch and textbooks) Middle and Upper Schools $35,288 (includes hot lunch) Additional annual fees are: Parents Association Fee $80 Middle School Textbooks and Laptop Fee (Grades 5 through $365 Upper School Textbooks $500 - $700 Bus Transportation (Optional) Daily trips between Washington, DC and Bethesda, MD campuses $800 one way $1,150 round trip Lower School Aftercare (Optional) 1 to 5 days per week $1,500 to $5,750 Middle School Aftercare (Optional) $925 per trimester

Posted by: Nevergiveup at February 25, 2014 03:19 PM (t3UFN)

42 My bet is that he was just pissed because he probably paid for those boobs.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at February 25, 2014 03:19 PM (BZAd3)

43 Those who spend most of their time and brainpower searching for new ways to be offended will be successful at finding offense, and very little else.

Posted by: ace at February 25, 2014 03:19 PM (/FnUH)

44 OT, but whatever.  I can't figure out what got into Richard Cohen in the sidebar.  He is a King Lefty of long standing.  Is he transmuting into some kind of warrior king now? 

Posted by: pep at February 25, 2014 03:19 PM (6TB1Z)

45 that's udderly disgusting

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl 2 days until spring training at February 25, 2014 03:19 PM (u8GsB)

46 Looks like she has a big ass also

Posted by: Nevergiveup at February 25, 2014 03:19 PM (t3UFN)

47 I am not clicking on that cow porn link but let me put this image in your head... a friend said he lived next to a cop who got a call about a guy doing it with a dog on the side of the road but they could not arrest the guy because technically, the dog was having sex with him and that is not against the law.

Posted by: AndrewsDad at February 25, 2014 03:20 PM (C2//T)

48 Sick dick sticks pricks in chick's pix.
Hey, what do I win?

The Grand Prix.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at February 25, 2014 03:20 PM (8ZskC)

49 My bet is that he was just pissed because he probably paid for those boobs. Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at February 25, 2014 07:19 PM (BZAd3) By the inch or pound and by pound I mean....

Posted by: Nevergiveup at February 25, 2014 03:20 PM (t3UFN)

50 Looks like she has a big ass also Posted by: Nevergiveup at February 25, 2014 07:19 PM (t3UFN) Hey. Big girls need love too. Jus' sayin'

Posted by: Sean Bannion [/i][/s][/u][/b] at February 25, 2014 03:21 PM (yz6yg)

51 Those who spend most of their time and brainpower searching for new ways to be offended will be successful at finding offense, and very little else. Posted by: ace

I think you're overreacting here, Ace.  Just saying. 

Posted by: pep at February 25, 2014 03:21 PM (6TB1Z)

52 udderly disgusting I'd Tip That

Posted by: Cow Fucker at February 25, 2014 03:21 PM (Ggxte)

53 So he leaves his wife and children for this chick.....and then is upset she's a cheater. LOL!

Posted by: TAO at February 25, 2014 03:21 PM (HGQES)

54 It turned out they'd mistaken the cows for toasters.

Posted by: Ian S. at February 25, 2014 03:21 PM (102Hx)

55 Don't worry; Ace will take a coupla quaaludes and love us again.

Posted by: Soothsayer at February 25, 2014 03:21 PM (GAlP7)

56 "Sexy Santa", huh? Pass (woof!)

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] at February 25, 2014 03:21 PM (HsTG8)

57 Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl 2 days until spring training at February 25, 2014 07:19 PM (u8GsB) ========= Cubs play D-backs on Thursday in Mesa. You going?

Posted by: grammie winger at February 25, 2014 03:21 PM (oMKp3)

58 noting that she is, in his estimation, a "harlot."

I am going to believe this allegation is true, until proven otherwise. Just FYI.

Posted by: Phinn at February 25, 2014 03:21 PM (KOGmz)

59 Just dicks, or did he put the balls in there, too?

Posted by: garrett at February 25, 2014 03:22 PM (Ggxte)

60 >>>I think you're overreacting here, Ace. Just saying. yes I'm overreacting, not the people who will chuckle at this joke about feminists-- How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!! ...but then go on to pester everyone by noting all the ways in which they feel, perpetually, disrespected.

Posted by: ace at February 25, 2014 03:22 PM (/FnUH)

61 Nixed Prick Dicks Pix

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] at February 25, 2014 03:23 PM (HsTG8)

62 Who uses harlot anymore? Quakers?

Posted by: Dr Spank at February 25, 2014 03:23 PM (hn70M)

63 "The farmer says he grew suspicious when his cows stopped producing as much milk and “seemed anxious."


Reminds me of that scene from Beetlejuice where he's thinking about sex.

"I'm feeling a little . . anxious if you know what I mean."

Were they looking around with big eyes and got twitchier when someone walked behind them?

"cow porn"?

I'm an old country boy and cows are okay but . . . COW PORN?

That's just sick. (and if you know anything about cows you'll know that it's NOT CLEAN. Cows are . . . messy)

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That (Microaggressive SoCon) at February 25, 2014 03:23 PM (LSDdO)

64 My kinda art.

Posted by: Carlos Danger at February 25, 2014 03:23 PM (dvRYt)

65 grammie no.....i'm a giants fan....so my first game of the season will be a giants game....probably next week sometime....the cubs stadium looks beautiful from the freeway ...i'll try to get there in the next 30 days

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl 2 days until spring training at February 25, 2014 03:23 PM (u8GsB)

66 3 She's no Kate Upton. Not Helen Thomas for that matter. Posted by: pep at February 25, 2014 07:04 PM (6TB1Z) The cow? Udders don't do it for you?

Posted by: nerdygirl at February 25, 2014 03:23 PM (mck3/)

67 okay we're close: Nixed ____ Dicks Chick's Pics is pretty good but we need to fill that blank.

Posted by: ace at February 25, 2014 03:24 PM (/FnUH)

68 Harlot is out?

Posted by: garrett at February 25, 2014 03:24 PM (Ggxte)

69 Can I get that chick's number? I've got some pics I'd like to send her.

Posted by: Carlos Danger at February 25, 2014 03:24 PM (Aif/5)

70 35-year old Michael Jones is accused of running the camera while 31-year old Reid Fontaine performed sex acts with the cows.

Come on Mike.  Let me run the camera this time.

Posted by: Reid Fontaine at February 25, 2014 03:24 PM (8ZskC)

71 "Sexy Santa", huh?
Pass (woof!)
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™
-------------------------------------------

But she gives good Horde.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at February 25, 2014 03:24 PM (4Mv1T)

72 I'm also astonished that there has been no discussion of Jane Fonda and her fear of onrushing mortality.  I mean, from the laughing and pointing point of view.

Posted by: pep at February 25, 2014 03:24 PM (6TB1Z)

73 There's also the d-bag who wrote the article giving parting "advice" to the 21 year old woman who he left his wife and children for. It contained such gems as: 3. Continue to make your bed. I know you did it for me, but it truly made your day better. But remember too, that it doesnÂ’t matter if you leave your bed unmade and your clothes all over the floor. YouÂ’re fantastic the way you are and those who love you donÂ’t really care. http://tinyurl.com/mkdje3h

Posted by: Lauren at February 25, 2014 03:24 PM (hFL/3)

74 nixed prick

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl 2 days until spring training at February 25, 2014 03:24 PM (u8GsB)

75 That's udderly disgusting ---- The farmer was unmooved by the cow-rapers' arguments

Posted by: Jenny Hates Her Phone at February 25, 2014 03:25 PM (YFUoc)

76 These queer folk always augment their work.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at February 25, 2014 03:25 PM (kVfSG)

77 Remember when Burn The Witch made the grave error of conducting an impromptu cost-analysis on one of Ace's 'jokes?' That was epic.

Posted by: Soothsayer at February 25, 2014 03:25 PM (GAlP7)

78 I guess them boys was in the moood for love.

Posted by: Lucky Pierre at February 25, 2014 03:25 PM (5fSr7)

79 Posted by: Nevergiveup at February 25, 2014 07:19 PM (t3UFN) You forgot the most important thing, no Common Core curriculum at Sidwell Friends.

Posted by: Madamex at February 25, 2014 03:25 PM (PtjfI)

80 .the cubs stadium looks beautiful from the freeway ...i'll try to get there in the next 30 days ========= I am beyond jealous.

Posted by: grammie winger at February 25, 2014 03:25 PM (oMKp3)

81 She looks more like a strumpet than a harlot.

Posted by: Dr Spank at February 25, 2014 03:25 PM (hn70M)

82 I don't think a guy painting penises on the art in his ex-girlfriend's apartment is worst thing in the world.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlinSeattle at February 25, 2014 03:25 PM (RZ8pf)

83 i'm trying to avoid "prick" or "dick"

Posted by: ace at February 25, 2014 03:25 PM (/FnUH)

84 I'm also astonished that there has been no discussion of Jane Fonda and her fear of onrushing mortality. I mean, from the laughing and pointing point of view. Posted by: pep at February 25, 2014 07:24 PM (6TB1Z) Hey, just because I don't post doesn't mean I'm not watching.

Posted by: St. Peter [/i][/s][/u][/b] at February 25, 2014 03:26 PM (yz6yg)

85
   Gotta wonder what conclusions some one in the far future would draw, reading a compendium of this stuff?

Posted by: irongrampa at February 25, 2014 03:26 PM (SAMxH)

86 I wonder if he rubbed any of his "precious Bodily Fluids" on the pictures

Posted by: Gen Ripper at February 25, 2014 03:26 PM (t3UFN)

87 did you all see the 365days of penises on the kpud website? guy's wife buys a white board..he says he's going to draw a penis on it everyday....she challenges him to do it for a yr...& he does.....

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl 2 days until spring training at February 25, 2014 03:26 PM (u8GsB)

88 horrible people being horrible, gotcha. If I can rant a moment in open thread...Mitt Romney is not as horrible as those ppl, but I'm ticked at him. put it upon himself to wade into Utah politics and endorse the awful count my vote initiative the establishment GOP is trying to foist on us. I don't care if he has a cabin here, he needs to butt out of our state. if count my vote passes it would benefit his sons, rumor is they might want to run for office here, maybe against Mike Lee when he is up for reelection. NO. GO AWAY. and there is supposedly juicy James o'keefe style audio video of count my vote petitioners lying their butts off to get signatures. got to hear some of it, it is golden. just throw the whole initiative out and be done with it, is massive fraud from top to bottom.

Posted by: LizLem at February 25, 2014 03:26 PM (r01t0)

89 Who uses harlot anymore? Quakers?

I do.  Harlots.  Strumpets.  Slatterns. 

Try calling a woman a "floozie" these days.  You'll get a reaction. 

But back to the main issue here -- I actually decided she was, in fact, a harlot, BEFORE I saw the red-bra-and-panties photo, which, I have to say, only hardened my feelings on the subject.

Posted by: Phinn at February 25, 2014 03:26 PM (KOGmz)

90 Trollop?

Posted by: garrett at February 25, 2014 03:26 PM (Ggxte)

91 Trick. That basically what he was apparently.

Posted by: Dr Spank at February 25, 2014 03:26 PM (hn70M)

92 90 Trollop?

Posted by: garrett


That's old school.

Posted by: Dr Spank at February 25, 2014 03:27 PM (hn70M)

93 I'm also astonished that there has been no discussion of Jane Fonda and her fear of onrushing mortality. I mean, from the laughing and pointing point of view. Posted by: pep at February 25, 2014 07:24 PM (6TB1Z) We touched on that in a previous thread and pretty much hoped she would just drop dead

Posted by: Gen Ripper at February 25, 2014 03:27 PM (t3UFN)

94 The cow? Udders don't do it for you? Posted by: nerdygirl at February 25, 2014 07:23 PM (mck3/) To think that the Horde is that cheap isÂ….well it's udderly ridiculous.

Posted by: Sean Bannion [/i][/s][/u][/b] at February 25, 2014 03:27 PM (yz6yg)

95 i'm trying to avoid "prick" or "dick" Finding it hard?

Posted by: garrett at February 25, 2014 03:27 PM (Ggxte)

96 Nixed Trick Dicks Chick's Pics

Posted by: Dr Spank at February 25, 2014 03:28 PM (hn70M)

97 Bimbo!

Posted by: Soothsayer at February 25, 2014 03:28 PM (GAlP7)

98 I call this one, Composition in Blue and Schlong.

Posted by: Sean Ludwick at February 25, 2014 03:28 PM (8ZskC)

99 I always thought Slattern was the C*unt of the Whorish Synonyms.

Posted by: garrett at February 25, 2014 03:28 PM (Ggxte)

100 CPAC could probably use a Paint a Dick On a Cow booth

Posted by: Chris_Balsz at February 25, 2014 03:28 PM (5xmd7)

101 Wow, that asterisk didn't really work out too well for me. Sorry, Ace.

Posted by: garrett at February 25, 2014 03:29 PM (Ggxte)

102 Doesn't "everything is worse" kinda describe obama's second term and his life

Posted by: Nevergiveup at February 25, 2014 03:29 PM (t3UFN)

103 Nixed Trick Dicks Chick's Pics

You're an artist, and your talents are being wasted.

Posted by: Phinn at February 25, 2014 03:29 PM (KOGmz)

104 As an aficionado of the "Yellow Cock" school of portraiture, I can say unequivocally that that the man is a genius.

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 03:29 PM (ZshNr)

105 Cops and firefighter abuse disability all the time,in all parts of the country.They aren't alone of course.

Posted by: steevy at February 25, 2014 03:29 PM (zqvg6)

106 I don't think a guy painting penises on the art in his ex-girlfriend's apartment is worst thing in the world. Posted by: ParanoidGirlinSeattle


Heh.  How you doin'?

Posted by: Bob Filner, Graduate, Sensitivity Training Centers of Cleveland at February 25, 2014 03:29 PM (8ZskC)

107 Not harlot... trollop

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] at February 25, 2014 03:29 PM (HsTG8)

108 CPAC could probably use a Paint a Dick On a Cow booth Posted by: Chris_Balsz

Well that's just wrong is what that is.

Posted by: Teats on a Bull at February 25, 2014 03:29 PM (6TB1Z)

109 Harlots. Strumpet. Slatterns. Trollop. Fluzzy.

Posted by: Dr Spank at February 25, 2014 03:29 PM (hn70M)

110 Philanderer Foists Phallic Phenomenon on Fickle Filly's Frames

Posted by: DangerGirl at February 25, 2014 03:30 PM (GrtrJ)

111 As an aficionado of the "Yellow Cock" school of portraiture, I can say unequivocally that that the man is a genius.

Giant cock graffiti is under-appreciated, in my view.

Posted by: Phinn at February 25, 2014 03:30 PM (KOGmz)

112 Bimbo is not Old Testament enough.

Posted by: Dr Spank at February 25, 2014 03:31 PM (hn70M)

113 A woman in Michigan was arrested for getting Hurricane Katrina money. Michigan!

Posted by: nerdygirl at February 25, 2014 03:31 PM (mck3/)

114 KUPD *not for the easily offended not safe for work* http://98kupd.com/holmbergs-morning-sickness/blog/wife-challenges-husband

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl 2 days until spring training at February 25, 2014 03:31 PM (u8GsB)

115 Harlots. Strumpet. Slatterns. Trollop. Fluzzy. Slattern is a good word that doesn't get enough use these days. Along with Rake.

Posted by: toby928© at February 25, 2014 03:31 PM (QupBk)

116 Giant cock graffiti is under-appreciated, in my view. Posted by: Phinn at February 25, 2014 07:30 PM (KOGmz) Cut. Jib. Newsletter?

Posted by: Barney Frank [/i][/s][/u][/b] at February 25, 2014 03:31 PM (yz6yg)

117 110 Philanderer Foists Phallic Phenomenon on Fickle Filly's Frames Posted by: DangerGirl


Hah! I think I just pissed myself.

Posted by: Dr Spank at February 25, 2014 03:31 PM (hn70M)

118 I'd hit that, but then I don't do the kind of art where one could paint penises on the stuff if it didn't work out. My welder might set the place on fire, which I suppose could be appropriate in its own way.

Posted by: JEM at February 25, 2014 03:32 PM (o+SC1)

119 But she was ruined just the same.

Posted by: Just the Punchline at February 25, 2014 03:32 PM (QupBk)

120 Bimbo is not Old Testament enough.


Jezebel then?

Posted by: King Ahab at February 25, 2014 03:32 PM (8ZskC)

121 Does anyone know if Trevisan is seeing anyone now?

Posted by: bob filner at February 25, 2014 03:32 PM (WCnJW)

122 I love when a cheater gets cheated on.

Posted by: steevy at February 25, 2014 03:32 PM (zqvg6)

123

Man who fuck cow have penis smelling like hamburger

Posted by: Confucious at February 25, 2014 03:32 PM (uJbZ6)

124 Nixed Trick Dicks Chick's Pics

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] at February 25, 2014 03:32 PM (HsTG8)

125 Giant Cock Graffiti was the original name for Prince's backup band.

Posted by: garrett at February 25, 2014 03:33 PM (Ggxte)

126 A real-estate honcho and amateur painter — furious that this ex-girlfriend was dating someone else — allegedly slipped into her Tribeca apartment and drew penises on his own artwork, sources said Monday. Picasso. And the last bit-- Mr. Moo Moo ...

Posted by: tasker at February 25, 2014 03:33 PM (RJMhd)

127 Harlot. Strumpet. Slattern. Trollop. Fluzzy. Jezebel. Hussy. Vamp.

Posted by: Dr Spank at February 25, 2014 03:34 PM (hn70M)

128 But what can we tell about these two? Well, he's in charge of beverages...and he paints. She is, well, into guys who paint, and she is obviously so irrational she'll destroy a man's paintings by drawing penises on them. So what do we know about them? We know they're both a couple of assholes who deserve each other.

Posted by: Soothsayer at February 25, 2014 03:34 PM (GAlP7)

129 I was particularly moved by "Sunset in Central Park, With Yellow Cock", as well as "Mother at Rest, With Yellow Cock". Brilliant technique in both.

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 03:35 PM (ZshNr)

130 asshole acts appallingly adding anal impaler to art

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl 2 days until spring training at February 25, 2014 03:35 PM (u8GsB)

131 Well, my quasi-random reding of the comments done done me in... Appy-polly-loggies to Dr. Spank.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] at February 25, 2014 03:35 PM (HsTG8)

132 "Giant Yellow Cock Descending Staircase" is a powerful piece.

Posted by: garrett at February 25, 2014 03:36 PM (Ggxte)

133 he resorted to various harassments, such as sending lewd emails to her bosses and colleagues informing them she had affairs with married men, and also noting that she is, in his estimation, a "harlot." Yeah, she was a harlot, but once upon a time she was *my* harlot!

Posted by: Dick Ludwick at February 25, 2014 03:36 PM (X3GkB)

134 I think the problem with the firefighters was claiming they were stressed from the events on Sept 11, 2011.

Posted by: Roy at February 25, 2014 03:36 PM (tiOTz)

135 Yeehaw!

Posted by: Y-not at February 25, 2014 03:37 PM (zDsvJ)

136 I was always partial to Portrait of a Young Boy with Huge Schlong

Posted by: Hairy Reed at February 25, 2014 03:37 PM (8ZskC)

137 He should have told the cops it was unfinished work.

Posted by: Dr Spank at February 25, 2014 03:38 PM (hn70M)

138 His book, "The Amber Wang and You" is a must-read for all real-estate artists.

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 03:38 PM (ZshNr)

139 I don't think everything is awful. In my better moments I'm with Brother Lawrence who lived in the 1660s in France, was in a religious order and wrote "The Practice Of The Presence of God" "When he was told of any great wickedness in the world he was not a bit surprised, but, he would say, he marveled not to hear of more when he considered the baseness into which sins a person leads a person. For his part, he went immediately to the Throne of Grace and interceded and prayed for the sinner Having done so, he continued in his peace. for he knew that God could remedy any mischief, although he sometimes permitted evil for reasons very true in the order of His Providence" Someday I hope to have such a completely serene faith.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at February 25, 2014 03:38 PM (XyM/Y)

140 oh wait, it was he who drew the penises on his own paintings? This guy is even more of a loser than I first thought.

Posted by: Soothsayer at February 25, 2014 03:38 PM (GAlP7)

141 Take that ya bovine bastards!

Posted by: The Chicken at February 25, 2014 03:39 PM (/o+xv)

142 I wish I had my copy of the classic Far Side collection, "Wiener Dog Art," right now.

Posted by: logprof at February 25, 2014 03:39 PM (X3GkB)

143 I've always been a fan of "woman of ill repute".

Posted by: Lauren at February 25, 2014 03:39 PM (hFL/3)

144 And also "Olive Oil of ill repute".

Posted by: Lauren at February 25, 2014 03:39 PM (hFL/3)

145 "Water Lilies with Jaundiced Joint"

Posted by: garrett at February 25, 2014 03:39 PM (Ggxte)

146 More of a goat/pig man myself, but I think the cow guys have 1st amendment rights just like everybody else.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at February 25, 2014 03:40 PM (+lsX1)

147 I'm partial to his Dong Period.

Posted by: ace at February 25, 2014 03:40 PM (/FnUH)

148 When you think about it two men violating a cow and an artist drawing dick pics on art is essentially the story of Obama.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at February 25, 2014 03:40 PM (dvRYt)

149 Was she dating an Asian guy? Am I the only one who has asked this?

Posted by: garrett at February 25, 2014 03:40 PM (Ggxte)

150 Dumped chump, not getting humped paints taints on chicks pics

Posted by: The Jackhole at February 25, 2014 03:40 PM (nTgAI)

151 Jane Fonda At room temperature Marinating in micturated fluids

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] at February 25, 2014 03:40 PM (HsTG8)

152 He's proven very popular in Asia.

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 03:41 PM (ZshNr)

153 "UNTITLED PLUS A GIANT YELLOW COCK" is really his best work. 

Posted by: Phinn at February 25, 2014 03:41 PM (KOGmz)

154 Rammer jammer Yellow member!!

Posted by: Tide 'Tard at February 25, 2014 03:41 PM (X3GkB)

155 67 okay we're close:

Nixed ____ Dicks Chick's Pics

is pretty good but we need to fill that blank.

Posted by: ace at February 25, 2014 07:24 PM (/FnUH)


Ace, we're all in the minors compared to The Sun's recent headline about the Cricket bowler (pitcher) and his girlfriend, the lingerie designer:


Over The Shoulder Bowler Bowls Over Over The Shoulder Boulder Holder Moulder

Posted by: Kevin in ABQ at February 25, 2014 03:41 PM (BvTwT)

156 The question on everyone's mind. Are they cut?

Posted by: Intactivist at February 25, 2014 03:41 PM (hFL/3)

157 Nothing more karmic than a guy ditching his wife and kids for a woman who is not faithful. But yeah, in alternate universe land, I'd hit it.

Posted by: Beagle at February 25, 2014 03:41 PM (sOtz/)

158 The Takeaway: If you're going to put penises in your artwork, do it before they're hanging on an ex-girlfriend's wall.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at February 25, 2014 03:42 PM (8ZskC)

159 The "artist" was hard up.

Posted by: tasker at February 25, 2014 03:42 PM (RJMhd)

160 >>>Over The Shoulder Bowler Bowls Over Over The Shoulder Boulder Holder Moulder right but man they were set up for that! It writes itself!!!

Posted by: ace at February 25, 2014 03:42 PM (/FnUH)

161 The adulterer was outraged by his mistress' unwillingness to be faithful to him. Who has not seen this in their lives? I remember a new neighbor who was on his second marriage, to his secretary. They moved out a couple years later, when first secretary, new wife, discovered that brand new second secretary was banging her husband. I suppose she was shocked by the revelation.

Posted by: SE Pa Moron [/i] at February 25, 2014 03:42 PM (CnA98)

162 Don't know why but I am laughing to myself picturing the guy from PBS with the beard and pipe painting big yellow cocks.

Posted by: Minnfidel at February 25, 2014 03:42 PM (/o+xv)

163 Him drawing penises on his paintings says A Lot more about him than does about her cheating.

Posted by: Soothsayer at February 25, 2014 03:42 PM (GAlP7)

164 Do you guys watch Lillyhammer? (Netflix) There's one ep where a distraught farmer finds out his goat was assaulted.

Posted by: votermom at February 25, 2014 03:42 PM (GSIDW)

165 Still Life With My Dick

Posted by: ace at February 25, 2014 03:42 PM (/FnUH)

166 I consider "Selfie" a piece of 'Found Art'.

Posted by: Barbara Walters at February 25, 2014 03:42 PM (Ggxte)

167 If you're going to put penises in your artwork, do sculptures. With holes.

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 03:42 PM (ZshNr)

168 Busty Harlot trollops another married man.

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 03:43 PM (nqBYe)

169 Oh and his slutty ex. Not bad but definitely plastic boobehs.

Posted by: Minnfidel at February 25, 2014 03:43 PM (/o+xv)

170 Why is everyone referring to yellow--- (off to check the link.)

Posted by: tasker at February 25, 2014 03:43 PM (RJMhd)

171 This is why alcohol is my "special friend."

Posted by: Seems legit at February 25, 2014 03:43 PM (A98Xu)

172 Call me Prickasso!

Posted by: Ludwick at February 25, 2014 03:43 PM (UIxS+)

173 This is why we can't have nice things. Oh, and some of you must be real heavy hitters on the dating & "i'd hit it" front. She's no Giada, but c'mon...

Posted by: shredded chi at February 25, 2014 03:43 PM (cLLuC)

174 148 When you think about it two men violating a cow and an artist drawing dick pics on art is essentially the story of Obama. Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at February 25, 2014 07:40 PM (dvRYt) Much like the floods that accompanied the ending of the last ice age, we are on the verge of being swept away by a tsunami of creativity with the long awaited ending of job lock for the most creative among us.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] at February 25, 2014 03:43 PM (HsTG8)

175
Old and busted:  cow tipping

New and Hot: cow bopping

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at February 25, 2014 03:43 PM (n0DEs)

176 >>> Don't know why but I am laughing to myself picturing the guy from PBS with the beard and pipe painting big yellow cocks. we're going to draw in some happy, happy wangs here, just brush on the paint, make the penis happy and hard, smoosh in a little black paint for the bush, look at this happy schlong, now I paint in the come

Posted by: Jeff Ross, Dick Painter at February 25, 2014 03:44 PM (/FnUH)

177 Cowa-bang-a!

Posted by: Semi-engaged scroller at February 25, 2014 03:44 PM (/cUUk)

178 Oh cripes it's right in the block quote--along with his name-- Ludwick. I can hardly wait for his Blue Period.

Posted by: tasker at February 25, 2014 03:44 PM (RJMhd)

179 Call me Prickasso!

Whole careers have been built on things that are less funny than this.

Posted by: Phinn at February 25, 2014 03:44 PM (KOGmz)

180 Busty herlot rascal, slides into disreputable relations with 4th married man.

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 03:45 PM (nqBYe)

181 Bob Ross the penises must've made you think of Jeff B.

Posted by: Soothsayer at February 25, 2014 03:45 PM (GAlP7)

182 Ladies On The Lake, With Dong.

Posted by: Dr Spank at February 25, 2014 03:45 PM (hn70M)

183 I AIN'T NOTHING BUT A GORE HOUND http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeH7aPurCXw

Posted by: THE CRAMPS at February 25, 2014 03:45 PM (Ggxte)

184 Fake Tit Wench Gets Dick Pics

Posted by: Intactivist at February 25, 2014 03:46 PM (hFL/3)

185 144 And also "Olive Oil of ill repute".

Posted by: Lauren at February 25, 2014 07:39 PM (hFL/3)

You leave my goyl out of this!

/Popeye/

Posted by: The inexplicable Dr. Julius Strangepork at February 25, 2014 03:46 PM (sy7n+)

186 Oh and how could I forget, also an ep on Lillyhammer where an expensive piece of art is what looks like a doodle of a girilla getting a beej. So basically, life imitates Lillyhammer.

Posted by: votermom at February 25, 2014 03:46 PM (GSIDW)

187 soothsayer, and like that, like magic, it's fixed

Posted by: ace at February 25, 2014 03:46 PM (/FnUH)

188 179 Call me Prickasso!

Whole careers have been built on things that are less funny than this.
Posted by: Phinn

Why, what have you heard?

Posted by: Dane Cook at February 25, 2014 03:46 PM (6TB1Z)

189 Just looked at the gal in her Santa's helper getup. Can't really tell from that picture if I'd hit it or not. Probably have to see her hooked up to a milking machine to be sure.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at February 25, 2014 03:47 PM (+lsX1)

190
Nixed Chicks Ex Dicks Chicks Pics

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at February 25, 2014 03:47 PM (n0DEs)

191 Spurned "Vincent VanChoad" Sullies Sexpot's Vignettes

Posted by: DangerGirl at February 25, 2014 03:47 PM (GrtrJ)

192 Alright, I don't expect serious answers but who, who in their f'ing right mind or any mind, thinks sex with animals in any form, any way, any how, is a possibility? A lark? Funny? Is there a huge farm porn market that I, as a rube, don't get?

Posted by: Seems legit at February 25, 2014 03:47 PM (A98Xu)

193 I've seen better dick art on men's room walls. And sometimes there's even poetry to go with it.

Posted by: Semi-engaged scroller at February 25, 2014 03:47 PM (/cUUk)

194 You disgrace my memory!

Posted by: Bob Ross at February 25, 2014 03:47 PM (GAlP7)

195 Study of Young Man With Uncut Trouser Snake

Posted by: Rembrandt at February 25, 2014 03:47 PM (8ZskC)

196 I was happy to just have a night off.

Posted by: The Chicken at February 25, 2014 03:47 PM (JdEZJ)

197 Starry Night, With Wang.

Posted by: Dr Spank at February 25, 2014 03:47 PM (hn70M)

198 Artist Retools His Work.

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 03:47 PM (ZshNr)

199 Thirty years from now these works will emerge at The Getty and there will be deep discussions about the meaning and the choice of the color-- yellow.

Posted by: tasker at February 25, 2014 03:47 PM (RJMhd)

200 Stump broke.

Posted by: George Tirebiter at February 25, 2014 03:48 PM (lryY4)

201 hey they might be valuable in the future

Posted by: Nevergiveup at February 25, 2014 03:48 PM (t3UFN)

202 In honor of the late Harold Ramis. From Stripes. "Lee Harvey, you are a madman! When you stole that cow and your friend tried to make it with the cow. I want to party with you cowboy. The two of us together, forget it."

Posted by: Minnfidel at February 25, 2014 03:48 PM (/o+xv)

203 who in their f'ing right mind or any mind, thinks sex with animals in any form, any way, any how, is a possibility?

I have my raisins.

Posted by: Muhammed, a goat's best friend at February 25, 2014 03:48 PM (6TB1Z)

204 Cows low in disgust at Human conditions.

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 03:49 PM (nqBYe)

205 Artist Retools His Work. This, right here, is why I come to the HQ.

Posted by: garrett at February 25, 2014 03:49 PM (Ggxte)

206 >>>Just looked at the gal in her Santa's helper getup. Can't really tell from that picture if I'd hit it or not. Probably have to see her hooked up to a milking machine to be sure. I'd pork her.

Posted by: Babe the Randy Pig at February 25, 2014 03:49 PM (/FnUH)

207 American Gothic. With cock.

Posted by: Minnfidel at February 25, 2014 03:49 PM (/o+xv)

208 Spurned Lover Doodles Dicks On Ex's Pics

Posted by: steevy at February 25, 2014 03:50 PM (zqvg6)

209 Was it consexual with the cow?
(That's lawyer talk.)

Posted by: danny crowe at February 25, 2014 03:50 PM (Eiwo7)

210 “I augmented my work to reflect my emotions at that moment.” ******* augmented...HA!!

Posted by: tasker at February 25, 2014 03:50 PM (RJMhd)

211 I'd hate to get into the news nowadays. The Daily Mail has a classy pic of her, then another shot of her in a Wonder Woman costume.

Posted by: Waterhouse at February 25, 2014 03:50 PM (NA/JV)

212 "Blue Balls" (Gainesborough) "Las Penisas" (Velasquez) "The Persistence of Cock" (Dali) "American Phallic" (Wood [huh huh huh huh])

Posted by: logprof at February 25, 2014 03:51 PM (X3GkB)

213 a midnight visit to my neighbors hog farmÂ…. they eat everything, including the bones.
Cowfuckah! Cowfuckah!

Posted by: mister wu at February 25, 2014 03:51 PM (Eiwo7)

214 Ce n'est pas un pipe. It's my Hog.

Posted by: Rene MaDick at February 25, 2014 03:51 PM (/FnUH)

215 The chick should paint a warning label on the art-- "things in these pics appear larger than they are."

Posted by: tasker at February 25, 2014 03:51 PM (RJMhd)

216 Wrathful wang warps wondrous Warhol's while wilted whore waits.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at February 25, 2014 03:51 PM (dvRYt)

217
I guess a new punch line to a farmer's daughter joke would be "No thanks, we'll just sleep in the barn".

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at February 25, 2014 03:52 PM (n0DEs)

218 Ecce Homo Erectus

Posted by: Cecilia Giménez at February 25, 2014 03:52 PM (8ZskC)

219 214 Ce n'est pas un pipe. It's my Hog. Posted by: Rene MaDick at February 25, 2014 07:51 PM ******* LOL!

Posted by: tasker at February 25, 2014 03:53 PM (RJMhd)

220 Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at February 25, 2014 07:51 PM (dvRYt) Slow clap.

Posted by: Intactivist at February 25, 2014 03:53 PM (hFL/3)

221 technically, the dog was having sex with him and that is not against the law.
Now you tell me!

Posted by: toby the beagle at February 25, 2014 03:53 PM (Eiwo7)

222 This guy wishes he had half the stones of the guy who made Levitated Mass.

Posted by: CAC at February 25, 2014 03:53 PM (6kusz)

223 208 Spurned Lover Doodles Dicks On Ex's Pics Posted by: steevy at February 25, 2014 07:50 PM (zqvg6) ********* Doodles Noodle

Posted by: tasker at February 25, 2014 03:54 PM (RJMhd)

224 Hmmm. Just checked the topic for tonight's Frontline. It's 'Secrets of the Vatican'. Within the description is this re Benedict: ...and the efforts of his successor, Pope Francis, to tame the forces that helped destroy Benedict's papacy and set the Catholic Church on a new path. Destroyed? New path?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at February 25, 2014 03:54 PM (DmNpO)

225 Sean Von Lewdick can't quit dicking around.

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 03:55 PM (nqBYe)

226 I'd hate to get into the news nowadays. The Daily Mail has a classy pic of her, then another shot of her in a Wonder Woman costume. Posted by: Waterhouse at February 25, 2014 07:50 PM ..O.K. Made me look. Meh. no thanks. And he looks like a major league douchenozzle. Karma is a bitch.

Posted by: Minnfidel at February 25, 2014 03:55 PM (/o+xv)

227 164 Do you guys watch Lillyhammer? (Netflix) There's one ep where a distraught farmer finds out his goat was assaulted. Posted by: votermom at February 25, 2014 07:42 PM (GSIDW) Hah, I think blocked that from my mind. But the art stuff reminds me of the Lilyhammer ep where they are buying modern art because it is an "investment", and the dumb but well meaning sidekick guy buys the painting of the monkey lion thing getting sexual acts of congress performed upon him. Wacky hijinks ensue. I know it is harassment, but one would think that an artist modifying his art, even out of revenge, would make it more valuable. But what do I know.

Posted by: LizLem at February 25, 2014 03:55 PM (YNf+H)

228 #210 If your augmentation lasts longer than 4 hours, contact your doctor.

Posted by: Semi-engaged scroller at February 25, 2014 03:55 PM (/cUUk)

229 47 I am not clicking on that cow porn link but let me put this image in your head...

Don't ask, don't tell.

Posted by: The Little Grey Men at February 25, 2014 03:56 PM (XO6WW)

230 Philanderer Foists Phallic Phenomenon on Fickle Filly's Frames Posted by: DangerGirl ok, this was Excellent.

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 03:56 PM (nqBYe)

231 After the Gulf War I, a disproportionate number of reservists tried to claim disability. Far far more than the active duty force. For the tax free pay

Posted by: thunderb at February 25, 2014 03:57 PM (kPCtX)

232 Doodles Noodle...on ex's poodle.

Posted by: Lauren at February 25, 2014 03:57 PM (hFL/3)

233 BTW Santa's little helper? Um. No. No.

Posted by: thunderb at February 25, 2014 03:59 PM (kPCtX)

234 Maybe the Left knows something about Pope Francis that we don't. Who knows, Francis might turn out to be like John Roberts.

Posted by: Soothsayer at February 25, 2014 03:59 PM (GAlP7)

235 The two cow pokers look like city boys to me. The farmer called the police.

Posted by: Beagle at February 25, 2014 03:59 PM (sOtz/)

236 Speaking of artists and their dicks, the whores of Montmartre called Toulouse Lautrec "the teapot" because his legs were stunted but his cock was of normal size.

Posted by: Semi-engaged scroller at February 25, 2014 03:59 PM (/cUUk)

237 Soured Sodomite Scribbles Shvantzes

Posted by: steevy at February 25, 2014 04:00 PM (zqvg6)

238 ok, this was Excellent. Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 07:56 PM (nqBYe) Thank you, willow. Wine?

Posted by: DangerGirl at February 25, 2014 04:00 PM (GrtrJ)

239 >>> 139 I don't think everything is awful Everything is awesome!

Posted by: Lego Movie at February 25, 2014 04:00 PM (nhQqc)

240 The Scream!! With Rod.

Posted by: Dr Spank at February 25, 2014 04:00 PM (hn70M)

241 Beef. It's not just for dinner anymore. Brought to you by:

Posted by: The Ad Council at February 25, 2014 04:00 PM (JdEZJ)

242 Starry Night, With Wang. ♪ And when no hope was left in sight On that starry, starry night, You painted your penis, as lovers often do. But I could have told you, Sean, This world was never meant for one As beautiful as you. ♪

Posted by: Don McLean [/i] at February 25, 2014 04:01 PM (CnA98)

243 DangerGirl, i would love some, thy. But add a toast to your quick wit.

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 04:01 PM (nqBYe)

244 I am curious though to see if all this subtle and gentle prodding and nudging by the Left to steer the Pope and the Church in a certain direction will be successful.

Posted by: Soothsayer at February 25, 2014 04:01 PM (GAlP7)

245 For the left the " new path" for the Catholic church is to get rid of all that icky religion stuff already.

Posted by: steevy at February 25, 2014 04:02 PM (zqvg6)

246 Wouldn't that make him a tripod

Posted by: thunderb at February 25, 2014 04:02 PM (kPCtX)

247 Sometimes I hate reading this site. After the Cow porn debacle, I guess I have to lock my chickens up now!

Posted by: Judge Roy Bean at February 25, 2014 04:02 PM (cCxiu)

248 Pork the other white meat.

Posted by: The Chicken Ad Council at February 25, 2014 04:02 PM (/cUUk)

249 "Welcome to the Fuck this caucus" Ace. The GOP lacks the energy to be reformers and probably the morals as well so this only gets worse IMHO. Get out of the way and show me paradise Donkey are all I have left.

Posted by: sven10077 at February 25, 2014 04:02 PM (TE35l)

250 toast goes something like this; DangerGirl wins!

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 04:02 PM (nqBYe)

251 *passes Sauvignon Blanc and raises glass*

Posted by: DangerGirl at February 25, 2014 04:02 PM (GrtrJ)

252 Where's the beef?

Posted by: Anthony Weiner at February 25, 2014 04:02 PM (Q6pxP)

253 Mustardy Manhoods Marring Mistresses Manse!

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 04:03 PM (ZshNr)

254 part of the state's burden in proving these crimes is answering the question "Would You Hit That?" Yes. Yes, I would. Suspicious Farmer Busts Alleged Cow Porn Ring That instantly vaults into contention for the Greatest Headline Ever.

Posted by: rickl at February 25, 2014 04:03 PM (sdi6R)

255 steevy, You can't expect them to have any religion but their own. progress ism

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 04:03 PM (nqBYe)

256 You really want some despair? Work in the criminal justice system for a while. My retirement portfolio consists almost entirely of canned goods and .223 rounds.

Posted by: PabloD at February 25, 2014 04:04 PM (vMFcV)

257 oops, clink.. ty ty

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 04:04 PM (nqBYe)

258 PabloD sympathies.

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 04:05 PM (nqBYe)

259 256 You really want some despair? Work in the criminal justice system for a while. My retirement portfolio consists almost entirely of canned goods and .223 rounds. Posted by: PabloD at February 25, 2014 08:04 PM (vMFcV) Or the children services type system. I worked in a facility for unwanted/abused/neglected kids. The stories I heard there made me want to give up on humanity.

Posted by: DangerGirl at February 25, 2014 04:07 PM (GrtrJ)

260 Is there a huge farm porn market that I, as a rube, don't get? Turn Safe Search off in Bing and you'll soon find out.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at February 25, 2014 04:08 PM (X9Mnx)

261 Ludwick had previously ditched his wife and two kids to shack up with this Trevisan woman, with whom he was having an affair. When he learned that she was seeing another man (I don't know if this was "cheating" - Two timing, four timing, six timing, a dollar, All for adultery stand up and holler!

Posted by: WalrusRex at February 25, 2014 04:08 PM (E+uky)

262 Back in the day, a MAN be paintin' wif his fist and she be likin' it.

Posted by: Ike Turner at February 25, 2014 04:08 PM (k4hO9)

263 "He was arrested last Wednesday and is charged with computer trespassing, aggravated harassment, criminal mischief, stalking, impersonation (?), and being a Bad Breaker-Upper." When the State unleashes a firehose of charges on a guy who basically did one or two stupid things and probably harmed no one, I side with the guy. The guy is a dick. The State is a monster.

Posted by: whoever at February 25, 2014 04:08 PM (kGSN0)

264 You all are just beastialphobic.

Posted by: Salon and the Atlantic at February 25, 2014 04:08 PM (/cUUk)

265 "Saturn Showing His Cock" (Goya) "The Garden of Earthly Dongs" (Bosch) "Dick Arrangement in Yellow" (Whistler)

Posted by: logprof at February 25, 2014 04:08 PM (X3GkB)

266 You guys want clever headlines? Beat this: http://bit.ly/1c6aibp

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at February 25, 2014 04:08 PM (DmNpO)

267 Wait just a damn minute here: You can break into farms, rape cows, upload the video to YouPorn, make a goddamn fortune, and it's just a misdemeanor? Why did nobody tell me this in sex ed?

Posted by: someguy at February 25, 2014 04:08 PM (8XRrT)

268 Losing Access To Twat, Yellow Peter-Painting Real Estate Boss Defaces Own Artworks After Unlawfully Entering Ex-Mistress' Tribeca Loft.

Posted by: ChrisN at February 25, 2014 04:09 PM (0XtFj)

269 It's really kind of romantic. Paint a yellow penis on the old can-vas....if you still want me, if you still want me...

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 04:09 PM (ZshNr)

270 I'd rate That Trevisan chick as a 6.4 six beers and 4 shots. Then I would hit it....

Posted by: blog force one at February 25, 2014 04:10 PM (l9JnF)

271 127

Harlot. Strumpet. Slattern. Trollop. Fluzzy. Jezebel. Hussy. Vamp.

Posted by: Dr Spank at February 25, 2014 07:34 PM (hn70M)


Mommy.

Posted by: Mr. Pickering at February 25, 2014 04:10 PM (M5T54)

272 Forget diamonds. The way to a woman's heart is yellow cock paintings.

Posted by: Minnfidel at February 25, 2014 04:11 PM (/o+xv)

273

175
 

Old and busted: cow tipping

 

 

New and Hot: cow bopping

 

------------

 

Or...cow tupping.

In ancient days, bopping was called 'tupping'.

 

As in "I tup'd her and then slipped away".

 

Posted by: wheatie at February 25, 2014 04:11 PM (DEUoo)

274 Some happy news in my sock. Piers Morgan staff says he was an asshole to work for.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at February 25, 2014 04:12 PM (Eiwo7)

275 Is he Irish? That'd do it

Posted by: .87c at February 25, 2014 04:12 PM (qZPXs)

276 Elsie was askin' fer it.

Posted by: The Beastie Boys at February 25, 2014 04:12 PM (/cUUk)

277 272 Forget diamonds. The way to a woman's heart is yellow cock paintings. Posted by: Minnfidel at February 25, 2014 08:11 PM (/o+xv) Limp allegations

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at February 25, 2014 04:12 PM (HVff2)

278 Piers Morgan staff says he was an asshole to work for. Posted by: andycanuck at February 25, 2014 08:12 PM .........In related news. Water is wet.

Posted by: Minnfidel at February 25, 2014 04:12 PM (/o+xv)

279 Andy Warhol's Campbell's Soup Can With Yellow Penis

Posted by: WalrusRex at February 25, 2014 04:13 PM (E+uky)

280 Nothing shocks me anymore. Cow lovers will be all over the place before you know it. It won't be long before the first openly cow lover person is playing quarterback in the Super Fabulous Bowl.

Posted by: freaked at February 25, 2014 04:15 PM (JdEZJ)

281 Did Ludwick give every dick pic a name?

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 04:15 PM (nqBYe)

282 Santa's helper has big tits and some mighty long legs. Bet that would be a trip in bed. Looks dumb as a rock. Catering manager at a hotel?

Posted by: Nip Sip at February 25, 2014 04:15 PM (0FSuD)

283 278 Piers Morgan staff says he was an asshole to work for. Some people just don't know how to treat the little people.

Posted by: Olberlisp, expert in all things cow at February 25, 2014 04:16 PM (dvRYt)

284 Vincent VanGogh "Sunflowers. And Yellow Trouser Snake"

Posted by: DangerGirl at February 25, 2014 04:16 PM (GrtrJ)

285 "The Birth of Penis" (Botticelli) "My Penis's World" (Wyatt)

Posted by: logprof at February 25, 2014 04:17 PM (X3GkB)

286 "Washerwomen with Citrine Schlong " - Gaugin 1888 "Girl Under a Japanese Penis" = Kirchner 1909

Posted by: garrett at February 25, 2014 04:17 PM (Ggxte)

287 Fuck, I meant Wyeth not Wyatt.

Posted by: logprof at February 25, 2014 04:17 PM (X3GkB)

288 Piers Morgan's staff. Wait. He's got one? I figured it would be a little noodle.

Posted by: freaked at February 25, 2014 04:17 PM (JdEZJ)

289 Is there a huge farm porn market that I, as a rube, don't get?
Don't Bing search "bossy lesbians" then.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at February 25, 2014 04:18 PM (Eiwo7)

290 The Scream(ing yellow penis).

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 04:18 PM (ZshNr)

291 227 The art episode was hilarious.

Posted by: Votermom at February 25, 2014 04:18 PM (GSIDW)

292 perhaps they were just all signed Priapus to dickflect attention.

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 04:19 PM (nqBYe)

293 "Yellow Penis on White on White" - Malevich 1918

Posted by: garrett at February 25, 2014 04:19 PM (Ggxte)

294 #271 Doxie, tart, floozie, drab, jade, leman.

Posted by: semi-engaged scroller at February 25, 2014 04:19 PM (/cUUk)

295 It's a well known fact that cow fucking led to the discovery of the smallpox vaccine.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at February 25, 2014 04:19 PM (X9Mnx)

296 Yeah, freaked. Wrong agreement on my part but no edit function here so I had to let it hang.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at February 25, 2014 04:21 PM (Eiwo7)

297 The painting of the penis is clearly unclean and will be forbidden in the time of the Sharia Law. Strong Islamic King Barack Obama will move to bring the Sharia soon, Inshallah.

Posted by: Boko Haram at February 25, 2014 04:21 PM (up/so)

298 Wench

Posted by: thunderb at February 25, 2014 04:21 PM (kPCtX)

299 Geez you'd think they woulda cured cancer by now.

Posted by: The Chicken at February 25, 2014 04:22 PM (JdEZJ)

300 A little critique for Mr. Ludwick...

I would have added a Monet Shot, but to each their own.

Posted by: Zombie Claude Monet at February 25, 2014 04:22 PM (UIxS+)

301 True Fact : There's a Yellow Penis in every one of my paintings.

Posted by: Zombie Pollock at February 25, 2014 04:23 PM (Ggxte)

302 Small cox? They are all small to a cow

Posted by: thunderb at February 25, 2014 04:23 PM (kPCtX)

303 Cows? Now that's just weird.

Posted by: The lonely shepherd at February 25, 2014 04:23 PM (/cUUk)

304 You know what's worse than anything Ace writes about in this post? The roughly three minutes on Jeopardy when Alex Trebek talks to the contestants, and gets them to divulge some lame-tastic anecdote about themselves, and then dismisses them with a haughty, condescending chuckle.

Posted by: Brass Bancroft at February 25, 2014 04:23 PM (niuxr)

305 Santa's elf looks like a naughty, naughty girl who needs chastisement.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Winter of Discontent will End! The Flowers of Fury will be here for Spring Planting at February 25, 2014 04:25 PM (gmoEG)

306 Well, it clear these people are obviously serious art collectors. Poor girl probably lost the $30 she spent on the frame for his panting.

Posted by: Nip Sip at February 25, 2014 04:25 PM (0FSuD)

307 The sad part of the cow story is they were upset and quit producing milk. That was cow rape-rape.

Posted by: Beagle at February 25, 2014 04:25 PM (sOtz/)

308 Posted by: Brass Bancroft at February 25, 2014 08:23 PM (niuxr) That's the best part of the Show!

Posted by: Sean Connery at February 25, 2014 04:25 PM (Ggxte)

309 Tonight's theme: Cows and Penises

Posted by: The poster who announces tonight's theme at February 25, 2014 04:25 PM (/cUUk)

310 How now Brown Cow? Damn it, the ho shit on me.

Posted by: Cow fucker at February 25, 2014 04:26 PM (0FSuD)

311 "Woman With a Pearl Necklace" (Vermeer)

Posted by: logprof (I am not making this up) at February 25, 2014 04:27 PM (X3GkB)

312 Say what you will, cow pron and lame art made lamer with added dicks still have more intrinsic civilizational value than anything on MSNBC.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at February 25, 2014 04:27 PM (dvRYt)

313 Talk about milking it. (I know, that was udderly uncalled for.)

Posted by: Elsie the Borden's Cow logo (for those too young to remember her) at February 25, 2014 04:28 PM (/cUUk)

314 Girl With a Pearl Necklace

Posted by: Hobbitopoly at February 25, 2014 04:28 PM (080XV)

315 Call me intolerant but what kind of person joins a cow porn ring? There are better hobbies to take up. I try to understand, but just can't. Does that make me bad?

Posted by: freaked at February 25, 2014 04:28 PM (JdEZJ)

316 Sometimes, 'Moo' means 'Yes'.

Posted by: Elsie at February 25, 2014 04:28 PM (Ggxte)

317 Shoot, logprof, you beat me to it!

Posted by: Hobbitopoly at February 25, 2014 04:28 PM (080XV)

318 Mark Levin just a moment ago: "Only in America can a Dingell rise so far."

Posted by: rickl at February 25, 2014 04:29 PM (sdi6R)

319 304 You know what's worse than anything Ace writes about in this post? The roughly three minutes on Jeopardy when Alex Trebek talks to the contestants, and gets them to divulge some lame-tastic anecdote about themselves, and then dismisses them with a haughty, condescending chuckle. Posted by: Brass Bancroft at February 25, 2014 08:23 PM (niuxr) Gussy it up however ya want, Trebek, what matters is, does it work, will it really mighty my penis man?

Posted by: Sean Connery at February 25, 2014 04:29 PM (nhQqc)

320 It wasn't beastiality beastiality.

Posted by: Whoopi the Cowgirl at February 25, 2014 04:29 PM (/cUUk)

321 1) "Would You Hit That" - DUH! Even twice on The Lord's Day. 2) NY is completely run by unions. Repub or Dem, it doesn't matter - either you grab your ankles when the unions show up or you don't hold office...PERIOD! I lived there - I KNOW. It's not called "Crookhaven" fer nuthin! There's a reason why Nassau County is among the wealthiest in the Nations AND BROKE! 3) "Cow Porn" - I'm not going there sorry. But I'm betting there are plenty of Progressives that would label me a "HATER!!" for even thinking it's bizarre.

Posted by: Pelosi Schmelosi at February 25, 2014 04:29 PM (jHf6U)

322 305 Santa's elf looks like a naughty, naughty girl who needs chastisement. Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Winter of Discontent will End! The Flowers of Fury will be here for Spring Planting at February 25, 2014 08:25 PM (gmoEG) Whatever

Posted by: Krystal Ball at February 25, 2014 04:29 PM (X3GkB)

323 we waz jus reading the articles in that cow magazine. really.

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 04:30 PM (nqBYe)

324 She looks like a sack treat but a real life nightmare.

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 04:31 PM (ZshNr)

325 Speaking of prices:Obama to OFA: “The work you’re doing is god’s work”

Posted by: WalrusRex at February 25, 2014 04:31 PM (E+uky)

326 Call me intolerant but what kind of person joins a cow porn ring? The kind who lost his membership in the horse porn club.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at February 25, 2014 04:32 PM (X9Mnx)

327 Santa's elf looks like the kind that gets Santa to put penecillin in your Christmas stocking.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at February 25, 2014 04:32 PM (dvRYt)

328 Herefordophileophobes!

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 04:33 PM (ZshNr)

329 325 When TFG says God he means himself.

Posted by: freaked at February 25, 2014 04:33 PM (JdEZJ)

330 ok puns aside, please don't feed, or screw the animals! new zoo sign. as we see hair driers need instructions, drugs need instruction, TOASTERS and couches need instruction manuals obviously animals do to , no Justice- no piece!

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 04:33 PM (nqBYe)

331 Damn! I'm frustrated with this Victorian spell checker!

Posted by: WalrusRex at February 25, 2014 04:34 PM (E+uky)

332 270 I'd rate That Trevisan chick as a 6.4 six beers and 4 shots. Then I would hit it.... Posted by: blog force one at February 25, 2014 08:10 PM (l9JnF) She needs to stand up so I can make a better appraisal.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at February 25, 2014 04:34 PM (oFCZn)

333
What's the story about the cow sitting on the fence post?

Posted by: Joe Biden at February 25, 2014 04:35 PM (nQjHM)

334 so i guess people out there just say to themselves, Just Do It. like a nike ad.

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 04:35 PM (nqBYe)

335 That's the story of Obama.

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 04:35 PM (ZshNr)

336 HmmmÂ….harlot appears to have a nice set of cans. That'll get you far in life.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at February 25, 2014 04:36 PM (GEICT)

337 so.

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 04:37 PM (nqBYe)

338
Great news!  Lena Dunham selected as Miss Udder centerfold for Cow Milker's Monthly!

Posted by: Doctor Fish at February 25, 2014 04:37 PM (nQjHM)

339 BCochran a set of cans and sets of dicks .

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 04:37 PM (nqBYe)

340
This entire thread is udderly ridiculous!

Posted by: Doctor Fish at February 25, 2014 04:38 PM (nQjHM)

341 There is no possible way to deal with situations like this without moar government. ..and taxes. On cigarettes. Definitely.

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Rounding Error Extraordinaire at February 25, 2014 04:38 PM (dx64j)

342 Yea well it's all very funny until it happens to you!

Posted by: The Cow at February 25, 2014 04:39 PM (JdEZJ)

343 Girth of Venus, Botticelli

Posted by: lauraw at February 25, 2014 04:40 PM (yGblt)

344
Thank God for the cows!

Posted by: The Chicken at February 25, 2014 04:40 PM (nQjHM)

345 Santa's Helper is quite stacked.

Posted by: EC at February 25, 2014 04:40 PM (doBIb)

346 Venus de Dildo

Posted by: Lurky at February 25, 2014 04:40 PM (ZglKH)

347 342 Yea well it's all very funny until it happens to you! Posted by: The Cow at February 25, 2014 08:39 PM (JdEZJ) tell me about it.....

Posted by: the chicken at February 25, 2014 04:40 PM (u8GsB)

348 "I know it is harassment, but one would think that an artist modifying his art, even out of revenge, would make it more valuable. But what do I know." George Lucas

Posted by: whoever at February 25, 2014 04:41 PM (kGSN0)

349 Storm on the Sea of Galilee With Yellow Cock, Rembrandt (whereabouts unknown).

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 04:41 PM (ZshNr)

350 The Last Schtupper (with yellow penis), Da Vinci

Posted by: lauraw at February 25, 2014 04:41 PM (yGblt)

351 Doctor Fish and udderly despicable .

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 04:41 PM (nqBYe)

352 Yeah. Cow porn.

What a great reason to have your picture plastered all over the Internets.

Not.

Enjoy the fame, clowns.

Posted by: dissent555 at February 25, 2014 04:42 PM (yR6A1)

353 Uh, out here in Shitcanistan we've been dealing with ungulate-love for centuries. Deal with it.

Posted by: The Goat at February 25, 2014 04:42 PM (X3GkB)

354 Elf Girl looks like she has some serious junk in the trunk...

Posted by: Romeo13 at February 25, 2014 04:42 PM (84gbM)

355 If God wanted Man to fuck cows, he wouldn't have given us sheep.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at February 25, 2014 04:42 PM (X9Mnx)

356 355 If God wanted Man to fuck cows, he wouldn't have given us sheep. Posted by: Hollowpoint at February 25, 2014 08:42 PM (X9Mnx) *snort*

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl at February 25, 2014 04:43 PM (u8GsB)

357 ok off to do dishes. good luck on not tossing cookies at reading thread.

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 04:44 PM (nqBYe)

358 Were any of the penises sneezing into a muff hankie?

Posted by: Buzzion at February 25, 2014 04:44 PM (FGUi1)

359 So. No word from Moo Moo while these creeps are in the pokey. Coincidence? Maybe...

Posted by: freaked at February 25, 2014 04:44 PM (JdEZJ)

360 Persistence of Mini-me, Salvador Dali

Posted by: lauraw at February 25, 2014 04:45 PM (yGblt)

361
Doctor Fish and udderly despicable .

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 08:41 PM (nqBYe)

Thank you, but don't tell my mother!


Posted by: Doctor Fish at February 25, 2014 04:45 PM (nQjHM)

362 3) "Cow Porn" - I'm not going there sorry. But I'm betting there are plenty of Progressives that would label me a "HATER!!" for even thinking it's bizarre. Posted by: Pelosi Schmelosi at February 25, 2014 08:29 PM (jHf6U) Indeed. I'm guessing that after The Vagina Monologues, The Goat, or Who Is Sylvia? is Mary Cloggenstein's favorite play.

Posted by: LizLem at February 25, 2014 04:45 PM (nhQqc)

363 Eh, I prefer goats.

Posted by: Mohammad at February 25, 2014 04:45 PM (Aif/5)

364 So were they filming Fluke the Cows???

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 25, 2014 04:47 PM (iVmdV)

365
Hey wingnuts, cows have feeling too!

Posted by: Rosei O'Donnell at February 25, 2014 04:47 PM (nQjHM)

366 Who says you can't have your steak and eat it too?

Posted by: The Cow at February 25, 2014 04:48 PM (JdEZJ)

367 I'd like to apologize for an intemperate remark I made earlier in the day.  The Meanie family is under some stress and the people I work with were in idiot mode today, which when combined with the daily outrages causes juvenile outbursts on my part. 

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at February 25, 2014 04:48 PM (ZwFP/)

368 4 We are perpetual children Posted by: Zakn at February 25, 2014 07:05 PM (zyaZ1) The honest, heartfelt and, without any possible doubt earned, desire of the WWII generation to not want to put their children through what they had to and try to ensure that it would never happen again, created this. Very sad. The most noble of intentions and deepest carings were perverted and exploited by shit leftists just waiting to pounce on half-formed minds.

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Rounding Error Extraordinaire at February 25, 2014 04:49 PM (dx64j)

369 Apologia, With Yellow Cock.

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 04:49 PM (ZshNr)

370 Harlot Encounter Table (d100)

01-10 Slovenly trull
11-25 Brazen strumpet
26-35 Cheap trollop
36-50 Typical streetwalker
51-65 Saucy tart
66-75 Wanton wench
76-85 Expensive doxy
86-90 Haughty courtesan
91-92 Aged madam
93-94 Wealthy procuress
95-98 Sly pimp
99-00 Rich panderer

Posted by: grognard at February 25, 2014 04:49 PM (hjKMO)

371 359 So. No word from Moo Moo while these creeps are in the pokey. Coincidence? Maybe... Posted by: freaked at February 25, 2014 08:44 PM (JdEZJ) Thread winner!

Posted by: Romeo13 at February 25, 2014 04:49 PM (84gbM)

372 Santa's Helper is quite stacked. Posted by: EC
-------------------------------

Bought AND paid for.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at February 25, 2014 04:49 PM (4Mv1T)

373 Elf Girl's dirty little secret is that she likes painted penises. Â…..but if you can't control yourself til they're dry ya need a pressure washer standing by, Â…..which of course is a whole n'other chapter of creative kink.

Posted by: ontherocks at February 25, 2014 04:50 PM (bMQZj)

374 Just watched last night's episode of Blacklist. Low and behold; the next hideous criminal on the blacklist that Red reveals to the FBI is seen hanging out with Allen West and Ted Cruz. Could they be more obvious? Love the show. This was the first time they injected disgusting leftist propaganda in it. This is how they do it. Make a hit, then inject the shit once you are hooked.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at February 25, 2014 04:52 PM (IXrOn)

375 Yeah that could be a whole new NEA grant area - Smiley Face Cock Pics.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 25, 2014 04:53 PM (iVmdV)

376 Is this the OT thread? I keed I keed. Comment lifted from the hotair article on Hagel's announcement of plans to downsize our military: "Makes perfect sense. IÂ’m sure this country today would have no problem mobilizing for war in the same manner as we did in the 40s. IÂ’m sure that the millions of pajama boys would put down their cocoa, throw on their dress jammie pants and flip-flops, rally to enlist and would prove to be fine soldiers. reaganaut on February 25, 2014 at 2:24 AM" LMAO

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at February 25, 2014 04:53 PM (9eDbm)

377 Sploosh!

Posted by: Pam Poovey at February 25, 2014 04:54 PM (ZshNr)

378 That's a Sarcastaball TD right there.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at February 25, 2014 04:54 PM (9eDbm)

379 I probably should have posted this in the cpac thread but since I'm here: last year several of our self anointed betters went on the twitter war path to anyone who objected to goproud setting up a booth. They called anyone who objected or even had reservations h8ters, homophobes, bigots, etc. And they did this repeatedly -- thousands of times. So, I just want to give a big fuck you to Kincannon and Schlicter and their ass kissers whose names I've thankfully forgotten.

Posted by: Judge Pug at February 25, 2014 04:54 PM (6Nj7A)

380 @376 -- that's why DARPA is breeding an orcbian Army.  Half lesbian, half orc. 

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at February 25, 2014 04:55 PM (ZwFP/)

381 174
148 When you think about it two men violating a cow and an artist drawing dick pics on art is essentially the story of Obama.
Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at February 25, 2014 07:40 PM (dvRYt)

"Much like the floods that accompanied the ending of the last ice age, we are on the verge of being swept away by a tsunami of creativity with the long awaited ending of job lock for the most creative among us."

Ditto!

Posted by: Taggart at February 25, 2014 04:55 PM (bjND7)

382 So which one of those fine specimens is the cowpoke(r)?

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX (@Teresa_Koch) at February 25, 2014 04:55 PM (PZ6/M)

383 The farmer says he grew suspicious when his cows stopped producing as much milk and “seemed anxious.” This seriously sucks.

Posted by: Judge Pug at February 25, 2014 04:56 PM (6Nj7A)

384 230 Philanderer Foists Phallic Phenomenon on Fickle Filly's Frames

Posted by: DangerGirl

Not nit picking here. Just wanting help with the English language. Isn't the plural of Phenomonon, "phenonomana"?

Help a guy out please.


Posted by: GMB who remembers back when..... at February 25, 2014 04:56 PM (nkPV9)

385 Teresa the one with the lumpy head.

Posted by: The Cow at February 25, 2014 04:57 PM (JdEZJ)

386 *rolls two D10s*

37

Can I re-roll?  Or maybe not.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 25, 2014 04:58 PM (iVmdV)

387 Unbelievable story about the fireman/cop fraud. Makes me think of when lib would wet their panties if Boooosh would even dare mention the date, 9/11...would whine about his using 9/11 for political purposes. Doubt we'll hear a peep about one of their favored public sector unionized groups using the sacred date as well. Sad that these criminals taint the good name of most firemen and cops.

Posted by: Ezra's Equal at February 25, 2014 04:59 PM (dxZgK)

388 Isn't the plural of Phenomonon, "phenonomana"? I believe so.

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Rounding Error Extraordinaire at February 25, 2014 04:59 PM (dx64j)

389 IÂ’m sure this country today would have no problem mobilizing for war in the same manner as we did in the 40s. - Not to mention that'll we will have many months before they can hit us to prepare and we'll just fire up all those steal mills and such and we'll be ready!

Posted by: WalrusRex at February 25, 2014 04:59 PM (E+uky)

390 Harlot Encounter Table (d100) 36-50 Typical streetwalker 51-65 Saucy tart Both the "typical streetwalker" and a "saucy tart" have the same % chance of appearing? Doesn't that make the saucy tart the typical streetwalker? Are the other typical streetwalkers of the non-saucy variety? 66-75 Wanton wench 76-85 Expensive doxy In what way is a wanton wench different than a cheap trollop? Are expensive doxies really just as rare as wanton wenches or cheap trollops? 86-90 Haughty courtesan I assume she's haughty because she's classy. I don't know how to distinguish this type from the Expensive Doxy, though. 91-92 Aged madam Are "aged madams" really so rare? 93-94 Wealthy procuress This is another sort of madam, I guess. Are there no aged madams who are wealthy? 95-98 Sly pimp Are pimps this rare? Or only the sly ones? What's the % chance for a dull witted pimp? 99-00 Rich panderer Okay so this is a rich pimp. A rich pimp is just as rare as an Aged Madam, per the DMG.

Posted by: Rene MaDick at February 25, 2014 04:59 PM (/FnUH)

391 Everyone missed the money quote from the penis painting article: "It's hard to believe he was arrested for a felony based on these limp allegations,” said defense lawyer Daniel Ollen. I couldn't have written that better myself!

Posted by: Mark Twain at February 25, 2014 05:00 PM (8D/Ai)

392 No doubt the NEA is looking into giving the dick artist a grant. For that matter, I could see the NEA giving the cowboys a grant if they called their act "performance art."

Posted by: the semi-engaged scroller at February 25, 2014 05:04 PM (/cUUk)

393 There are a lot of missing entries. Like "Crude Flesh-Peddler." Like Cheech in From Dusk Till Dawn. The Chart should assume about 60% of the cheap varieties of prostitute, 10-20% of demimondes (occasional prostitutes), 10% of the expensive ones, and 10% of pimps and procurers, but embracing more types. Not that I've thought about this or anything.

Posted by: ace at February 25, 2014 05:06 PM (/FnUH)

394 Terrible thing facts.  About mobilization.

For example - USS Essex ( CV-9 )
Ordered - 3 July 1940
Laid down - 28 April 1941
Commissioned - 31 December 1942
Reported to PACFLT - May 1943.

Just think if the US Navy had not planned the Essex class before war broke out. 

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 25, 2014 05:06 PM (iVmdV)

395 Hey, it's his creation. He retains control.

Howard Roard laughed.
As he spray-painted yellow dicks onto the Cortlandt Homes.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at February 25, 2014 05:09 PM (xq1UY)

396 I'll paint ANY Penis for $199!

Posted by: Earl Scheib at February 25, 2014 05:10 PM (eTqJC)

397 I find good dick art a source of joy and inspiration.

Posted by: Sandra Flook at February 25, 2014 05:11 PM (Dwehj)

398 Anna, it's really difficult to not judge them by their actions. lets see, gay! abortions! Rich's share! serious about our national defense.. their actual job? not so much

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 05:11 PM (nqBYe)

399 “It hard to believe he was arrested for a felony based on these limp allegations,” said defense lawyer Daniel Ollen. I'm going to go back up to read the comments and find out this was actually from the Onion, right?

Posted by: Synova at February 25, 2014 05:12 PM (7/PU+)

400 so srsly what is Obama spending the new standard of 1 TRILLION on? Let me add with help with those reachers across the aisle?

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 05:13 PM (nqBYe)

401 Chokwe Lumumba is dead!

Posted by: Baldy at February 25, 2014 05:13 PM (2bql3)

402 Earl can you paint NASA on the side of mine?

Posted by: The Cow at February 25, 2014 05:13 PM (JdEZJ)

403 Willow, it really cheeses me off what they are doing.  How can one not think of Kipling as these jackasses in their taxpayer funded chateaus eviscerate the military, endanger lives, and ignore reality. 

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 25, 2014 05:14 PM (iVmdV)

404 The Potato Eaters Penis (1885)

Posted by: Van Gogh at February 25, 2014 05:14 PM (eTqJC)

405 Off you bovine sock!

Posted by: freaked at February 25, 2014 05:14 PM (JdEZJ)

406 'What you in for, Mr. Reid Fontaine?'
'Sex with cows, Bubba.'
'Oh, really?'

Posted by: Erowmero at February 25, 2014 05:16 PM (OONaw)

407 Anna, we have become a basket case. and i blame most of our leadership for allowing it, with a accessory to it the fkn media and of course our betters doe

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 05:16 PM (nqBYe)

408 Chokwe Lumumba is dead!

I saw him open for Chumbawamba back in '97.

Posted by: Sandra Flook at February 25, 2014 05:17 PM (Dwehj)

409 372 Santa's Helper is quite stacked. Posted by: EC ------------------------------- Bought AND paid for. Posted by: Tobacco Road at February 25, 2014 08:49 PM (4Mv1T) High maintenance I would suspect.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at February 25, 2014 05:17 PM (HVff2)

410 So Edwin Taliaferro of Detroit, new mayor of Jackson, MS, has suddenly died.  And WAPT lists as his sole accomplishment the 1% sales tax increase.

http://tinyurl.com/my5fk3a

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 25, 2014 05:17 PM (iVmdV)

411 Cows? That's disgusting.

Posted by: the chicken at February 25, 2014 05:18 PM (l3vZN)

412

Thanks, ace - this is running thru my head now, and it won't stop

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raJWuz7qQVc

I'm a cow humper
I'm a cow humper
Watchin' cows go by
My, my, my

I'm a cow humper
I'm a cow humper
Here comes one now
Mmmm, mmm, mmm

I was just a boy
When I threw away my toys
I found a new pastime
To dwell on

Whenever I detect
Females of the bovine sex
I play the game I do so well, oh

I'm a cow humper
I'm a cow humper
Watchin' cows go by
My, my, my

I'm a cow humper
I'm a cow humper
Here comes one now

Hello there, Bessie
My, my, but you do look swell
Could you please walk
A little slower

I wonder if you know
That you're putting on a show
Could you please walk
A little closer

I'm a cow humper
I'm a cow humper
Watchin' cows go by
My, my, my

I'm a cow humper
I'm a cow humper
Here comes one now
Mmm, mmm, mmm

Posted by: Jazz at February 25, 2014 05:19 PM (roO4n)

413 And now the Barrel will have jazz in it....

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 25, 2014 05:20 PM (iVmdV)

414 Like "Crude Flesh-Peddler." Like Cheech in From Dusk Till Dawn.


*pencils in entry in spare copy of DMG*


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BjKVq9YsU0

NSFW

Posted by: grognard at February 25, 2014 05:20 PM (hjKMO)

415 Jazz, to the Barrel.

Posted by: Van Gogh at February 25, 2014 05:20 PM (eTqJC)

416 jizz into the barrel

Posted by: Sandra Flook at February 25, 2014 05:20 PM (Dwehj)

417 You know ... I object to yellow painted dicks. Just on general principles really. Have not really thought the topic all the way through. So, in the interest of fairness and such ... I should probably paint yellow dicks all through the house. Certainly in the kids rooms. Just to make sure my stance is justified.

Posted by: ScoggDog at February 25, 2014 05:20 PM (snSuQ)

418 Oh my my my

Posted by: freaked at February 25, 2014 05:21 PM (JdEZJ)

419 I love Jazz

Posted by: The Barrel at February 25, 2014 05:21 PM (NHZpR)

420 Hey Jazz, Say hellows to the Barrel

Posted by: L' elle at February 25, 2014 05:21 PM (0xqKe)

421 Well, hello there, Jazz.

Welcome to your shame and degradation at the... "hands" of the horde!

Posted by: The Barrel at February 25, 2014 05:22 PM (0AKks)

422 ooops...tee hee...I meant "jazz"! tee hee

Posted by: Sandra Flook at February 25, 2014 05:22 PM (Dwehj)

423 Who jazzed on the blog?

Posted by: Tobacco Road at February 25, 2014 05:23 PM (4Mv1T)

424 The one common theme of those three stories: New York.

Posted by: Darth Randall at February 25, 2014 05:23 PM (KlVdw)

425 Jazz isn't dead it just smells funny

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at February 25, 2014 05:23 PM (HVff2)

426 BTW, Gary Gygax was constantly asked about that table.  I'm convinced he put it in there just to mess with the squares.  Keep in mind that this was a couple of years after the Monster Manual with naked boobies.

I'm certain he would encourage everyone to create the table that best fits their style of play.

Posted by: grognard at February 25, 2014 05:24 PM (hjKMO)

427 fgs was Mr. Sowell on Hannity and i missed it? anyone catch it?

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 05:24 PM (nqBYe)

428 Hey TR! What's going on?

Posted by: EC at February 25, 2014 05:24 PM (doBIb)

429 I don't think the phrase ""Milking the cow" means the same thing to those fellars.

Posted by: The Cow at February 25, 2014 05:25 PM (JdEZJ)

430 New Russell Crow movie about bovines and their important role in expanding the Roman Empire.

"BLOVIATOR"

Posted by: Tobacco Road at February 25, 2014 05:25 PM (4Mv1T)

431 Who can help me find the old podcasts? I was going to take the doggie for a walk & listen to the Nick Searcy one that I missed. Thanks in advance.

Posted by: shredded chi at February 25, 2014 05:26 PM (cLLuC)

432 He this Jazz really blows.

Posted by: The Hickster at February 25, 2014 05:26 PM (TI3xG)

433 I see my NC and WI homeys are here.

-sup EC.

HELLO WISCONSIN!


Posted by: Tobacco Road at February 25, 2014 05:27 PM (4Mv1T)

434 cows are people too! heiferanormitive response is normal .

Posted by: someone out there at February 25, 2014 05:27 PM (nqBYe)

435 TR that's my pet name for Mr. Moo.

Posted by: The Cow at February 25, 2014 05:27 PM (JdEZJ)

436 So which is worse...
Dorking a cow,
Or saying "Film this while I dork the cow"?


Or being the camera dude.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at February 25, 2014 05:28 PM (NHZpR)

437 Hey TR!

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at February 25, 2014 05:28 PM (HVff2)

438 VIA, or being caught on audio as a farmer yells, "You cow flukers!"

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 25, 2014 05:28 PM (iVmdV)

439 So....just how did Mr Moo Moo get his nic?

Posted by: EC at February 25, 2014 05:28 PM (doBIb)

440 The Bovine Bloviator

Posted by: The Cow at February 25, 2014 05:29 PM (JdEZJ)

441 What? Mr. Moo Moo had sex with a bovine? The hell you say

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at February 25, 2014 05:29 PM (HVff2)

442 432 Hey not He

Posted by: The Hickster at February 25, 2014 05:29 PM (TI3xG)

443 Shredded chi, All the old pod cast are on iTunes. Just do a search of AOSHQ and they should pop up. I think....

Posted by: lindafell at February 25, 2014 05:29 PM (PGO8C)

444 You know how the commies used to decry our "degenerate western culture"? We sure proved them wrong, huh!

Posted by: yellow-painted PIC at February 25, 2014 05:30 PM (GSIDW)

445 I understand he's quite well educated.

Posted by: The Cow at February 25, 2014 05:30 PM (JdEZJ)

446 Chicken, "I need a plasma rifle that can cook a cow in five minutes flat."

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 25, 2014 05:30 PM (iVmdV)

447 Posted by: Jazz at February 25, 2014 09:19 PM (roO4n)

now that's Barrelicious!

Posted by: bill-o at February 25, 2014 05:30 PM (bjND7)

448 436 I assure you, being me is the worst

Posted by: The Cow at February 25, 2014 05:30 PM (GSIDW)

449 Is there anyone with the keys to the blog who can fix the homepage sidebar?
It has about eleven doubleposts about Chester Nimitz's war diaries.

I know we are somewhat famous for the  double post thing.
But this is excessive.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at February 25, 2014 05:31 PM (NHZpR)

450 It's not an easy call? With Jugs like that???

Posted by: Tom Servo at February 25, 2014 05:31 PM (hTDbY)

451 I actually have been quite stunned at a few responses i have see in my personal life re voting Obama because Romney would make you have kids, would starve your kids, and didn't care about people like MY kids! while progressives pushed abortion of the kids for the BIG children of course. i dunno sometimes it makes me shudder, trying to understand or relate to some.

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 05:31 PM (nqBYe)

452 I guess I'm not much of an artist, none of my paintings have yellow penises

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at February 25, 2014 05:31 PM (HVff2)

453 So....just how did Mr Moo Moo get his nic?

Posted by: EC
-------------------

Dare we ax him?

I dare not. I'll start screaming and drolling. And I don't mean like the chicks watching the Beatles on Ed Sullivan.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at February 25, 2014 05:31 PM (4Mv1T)

454
Ooo, sidebar barrel. Jazz 'gonna have company......


Posted by: IllTemperedCur at February 25, 2014 05:31 PM (aYjRw)

455 And hung like a bull.

Posted by: The Cow at February 25, 2014 05:31 PM (JdEZJ)

456 I imagine it's been said, but that guy sounds like a real dick.

Posted by: Peaches at February 25, 2014 05:32 PM (8lmkt)

457 Shut yer fucking face, heifer fucker
You're the one that fucked the heifer, heifer fucker
You're a heifer fucker, yes it's true
Nobody fucks heifer's quite like you

Posted by: Terence and Philip at February 25, 2014 05:32 PM (hjKMO)

458 "I assure you, being me is the worst"

Told all of you that I was hung like a horse.

Posted by: Village Cow Fucker at February 25, 2014 05:33 PM (NHZpR)

459 Posted by: Tobacco Road at February 25, 2014 09:31 PM (4Mv1T) Careful on your syntax there TR, I got in trouble for using that in a sock

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at February 25, 2014 05:34 PM (HVff2)

460 Ooo, sidebar barrel. Jazz 'gonna have company......

I only have the one bung hole.  They'll be pushing each other around constantly trying to get away from it.

Well, what's being pushed through it, at least.

Posted by: The Barrel at February 25, 2014 05:34 PM (0AKks)

461 so. whats going on in Venezuela and (the) Ukraine?

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 05:34 PM (nqBYe)

462 Willow, Try wrapping your head around POST-birth abortion. Yeah, it's really being seriously talked about and not in satire, sadly. I can't get my head around it, don't really want to myself......

Posted by: lindafell at February 25, 2014 05:34 PM (PGO8C)

463 Via they take turns filming. Usually I just stand there, but sometimes I chew some cud.

Posted by: The Cow at February 25, 2014 05:35 PM (JdEZJ)

464 Ace Justified thread up

Posted by: L, elle at February 25, 2014 05:35 PM (0xqKe)

465 I remember what Mrs. Nimitz said about Chester never writing his biography (paraphrasing from memory), "He had to fire some people and if he wrote his biography he would have to write the truth and hurt people.  Chester never wanted to hurt people."

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 25, 2014 05:35 PM (iVmdV)

466 Careful on your syntax there TR, I got in trouble for using that in a sock Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian
-------------------------------------

Ebonics is verboten?  Good to know.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at February 25, 2014 05:35 PM (4Mv1T)

467 I put up a Justified/Person of Interest thread, as both return in 25 minutes.

Posted by: ace at February 25, 2014 05:36 PM (/FnUH)

468 Hey Jazz, check on Seamus Muldoon while you're in there, I think he has about twenty days to go for repasteing an entire thread.

Posted by: lowandslow at February 25, 2014 05:36 PM (IV4od)

469 lindafell, i know, i really cannot understand why they are the way they are. did someone dope them in utero?

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 05:36 PM (nqBYe)

470 Yup, Maet gave me a warning so I thought I would pass along

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at February 25, 2014 05:36 PM (HVff2)

471 Thanks Lindafell. wasn't sure if I could get iTunes I n my android, but I found it with a quick search (duh!) - I should've thought of that.

Posted by: shredded chi at February 25, 2014 05:37 PM (cLLuC)

472 Yup, Maet gave me a warning so I thought I would pass along Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian
------------------------------

Huh. Oh well. Thanks for the heads up.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at February 25, 2014 05:38 PM (4Mv1T)

473 lindafell and willow, it is amazing the constructs made from bones they create just because they have issues.  Usually with some authority like Judeo-Christian, so anything to oppose that power structure is quite dandy for them.  No matter how many Escher drawings they need create to justify that particular point.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 25, 2014 05:38 PM (iVmdV)

474 No problem shredded chi, glad someone actually reads my post sometimes. He read it!!! He really, really read it!!!

Posted by: lindafell at February 25, 2014 05:39 PM (PGO8C)

475 It was a dark and stormy night. The night Mama met Bubba.

Posted by: The Cow Baby Chronicles at February 25, 2014 05:40 PM (JdEZJ)

476 Try wrapping your head around POST-birth abortion....

....threatened every parent who ever lived. 

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at February 25, 2014 05:41 PM (ZwFP/)

477 I was born a poor back Angus.

Posted by: The Cow Baby Chronicles at February 25, 2014 05:41 PM (JdEZJ)

478 So if a black guy talks like a white guy. It is "a okay". But if I white guy talks like a black guy...

I'll never quite get "celebrating diversity".

All sounds a little one-sided to me.

Oh well. Onward and upward. 

Later haters. Maybe back for the ONT

Posted by: Tobacco Road at February 25, 2014 05:41 PM (4Mv1T)

479 Daddy didn't stick around long. He moved on to rhinos and elephants and such.

Posted by: The Cow Baby Chronicles at February 25, 2014 05:42 PM (JdEZJ)

480

So this guy drew dicks on his artwork because he was pissed at a woman.

 

What a pussy.

Posted by: Vinnie "One Ear" Van Gogh at February 25, 2014 05:43 PM (R3gO3)

481 One day we heard he broke hs neck when he fell off a ladder trying to give a bj to a giraffe.

Posted by: The Cow Baby Chronicles at February 25, 2014 05:44 PM (JdEZJ)

482 After that all he could do was crawl around and lick snakes.

Posted by: The Cow Baby Chronicles at February 25, 2014 05:45 PM (JdEZJ)

483 192 Alright, I don't expect serious answers but who, who in their f'ing right mind or any mind, thinks sex with animals in any form, any way, any how, is a possibility? A lark? Funny? Is there a huge farm porn market that I, as a rube, don't get? Posted by: Seems legit at February 25, 2014 07:47 PM (A98Xu) Yer soundin' like that Phil Robertson feller.

Posted by: Mindy at February 25, 2014 05:46 PM (mQwL2)

484 Anna and Willow, I can not even relate to these "people" at any level. The other day, some UT Austin, Biomedical professor, who lives near me and his kids go to my kids school, was going off on income inequality. I just looked at him, and looked around at the hood we live in, and was dumbstruck. After that I just tuned him out, I don't care if he's a "PH.D.", he's pretty dumb. There is just NO, NONE, ZERO, ZILCH, self-awareness.

Posted by: lindafell at February 25, 2014 05:47 PM (PGO8C)

485 But I grew up and got into a fancy school under some special government program and became fabulously wealthy and smart.

Posted by: The Cow Baby Chronicles at February 25, 2014 05:47 PM (JdEZJ)

486 who in their f'ing right mind or any mind, thinks sex with animals in any form, any way, any how, is a possibility?

Helped get me thru Ag School. 

Posted by: Keith Olbermann at February 25, 2014 05:47 PM (ZwFP/)

487 I was born a poor back Angus.

Posted by: The Cow Baby Chronicles at February 25, 2014 09:41 PM (JdEZJ)


Well, that sure smells like a threadwinner to me.  Falling all about laughing here!

Posted by: Peaches at February 25, 2014 05:47 PM (8lmkt)

488 I never forgot my humble beginnings though. That's why I call myself Moo.

Posted by: The Cow Baby Chronicles at February 25, 2014 05:48 PM (JdEZJ)

489 "Is there a huge farm porn market that I, as a rube, don't get?"

As far as I know, not so much. but, let me cut and paste an excerpt from a recent news article.

" There are 17 states and territories in which beastiality is totally legal: Alabama, Arkansas, Washington, D.C., Guam, Hawaii, Kentucky, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, Ohio, Texas, Vermont, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wyoming."

Posted by: Village Cow Fucker at February 25, 2014 05:54 PM (NHZpR)

490 Legal bestiality in Washington DC?  So that explains why all the RINOs are walking funny....

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 25, 2014 05:57 PM (iVmdV)

491 Though to this day if anyone says "Steak Sauce" I curl up into a little ball.

Posted by: The Cow Baby Chronicles at February 25, 2014 05:57 PM (JdEZJ)

492 I'd go upstairs and visit, but I don't watch TV anymore, so I got nothing to contribute up there. And apparently not down here, either.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at February 25, 2014 05:58 PM (4Mv1T)

493

One of the pigs told me that that young strapping fella Ferdinand was bonking my sweet Elsie and I went charging across the fields and into the field, madder than my cousin in Mexico City gets when some fairy in a sparkly outfit waves a red cape at him.

 

But when I got to the barn and saw the little teeny peter of this human going in and out of Elsie....Crap, Elsie standing there chewing her cud, daydreaming about jumping over the moon, and she didn't even know anybody was back there. It's a good thing bulls can't laugh cause I woulda bust a gut at the sight.

 

Jealous? Hell no! I was damn relieved it wasn't Ferdinand. In the old days, bulls used to tear into their rivals with their horns and have nasty fights, but we're evolved 21st bulls now. Now we just dip our hooves in our shit and paint dicks on the cheating no-good cows stalls. And since we don't have opposable thumbs, it takes a while. I kinda miss the old days.

Posted by: Elmer's Testimony at February 25, 2014 06:07 PM (R3gO3)

494 TR you could read Nimitz's war diaries.

Vol 1 December 7, 1941 to 31 August 1942
pg 13.
7. Psychological Factors. Japan probably started the war with a will to win based on desperation. Her initial successes at Pearl Harbor, off Malaya, etc., will undoubtedly make her morale high.

8. Conversely, our losses, occasioned through not being the aggressor, will put a strain on morale, particularly as we probably will not be able to strike back effectively for a long time. We are on the defensive; Japan has the strategic initiative; - that is hard for us to take. However, our personnel and population can take it when the occasion demands, and they probably will now.

9. The Japanese have proved themselves daring (we underestimated how daring); they have been training hard for years; and they have much experience at war, including many amphibious operations in recent years. They are probably not as good operators of material as we, but they proved themselves to be careful and skillful planners.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at February 25, 2014 06:09 PM (iVmdV)

495 When I was little the other kids used to taunt me. Stuff like "Hey! Who put the pork in the steak" and "Cowabunghole! And things like that. It scarred me for life.

Posted by: The Cow Baby Chronicles at February 25, 2014 06:18 PM (JdEZJ)

496 So are we going to see any cow-human hybrids walking around in the near future?

Posted by: Socrateae at February 25, 2014 08:11 PM (1jViy)

497 "Computer trespassing"?


Posted by: bobby b at February 25, 2014 08:28 PM (raEg6)

498

Those sick freak fags drove to the farm from NYC.  How do I know?  Because there aint no cows in the city limits.  That is all.

Posted by: Todd Bridges, first to go bad, last to go down at February 26, 2014 06:30 AM (zULK3)

499 Forget it, Jake. It's TriBeCa.

Posted by: Auntie M at February 26, 2014 07:28 AM (AIC5Z)

500 Girl in the Santa hat looks good to me.

In fact, she reminds me of one of my ex-wife's best friends, a girl I always wanted to get, ah, close to.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at February 26, 2014 10:14 AM (BDU/a)

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