Ace of Spades HQ

January 13, 2014

Guy Claims to Be Conan O'Brien's Illegitimate Son
— Ace

He claims here -- and I don't think this is on the level; I think it's a jokey stunt -- that his mom worked at 30 Rock in 1993 but was fired after she became pregnant, working just three floors under Conan O'Brien's offices and studios.

Again, I don't think this is real. I don't think you'd go about this in this way.

That said, the guy's resemblance to Conan O'Brien is... well, judge for yourself.

But then again, it might be that all gingers, possessing no souls, resemble each other, ghostly, eerie, and evil.

Posted by: Ace at 11:53 AM | Comments (294)
Post contains 111 words, total size 1 kb.

1 BOOM!

Posted by: loneduck at January 13, 2014 11:55 AM (n+hGq)

2 He looks like a clean-shaven BCochran.

Posted by: EC at January 13, 2014 11:55 AM (GQ8sn)

3 I am Conan O'Brien's father.

Posted by: Darth Vader at January 13, 2014 11:55 AM (8ZskC)

4 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at January 13, 2014 11:55 AM (PYAXX)

5 That reminds me I've never had sex with a ginger. *Adds item to Bucket List*

Posted by: Bill Clinton at January 13, 2014 11:55 AM (RJMhd)

6 Dad?

Posted by: junior college transfer at January 13, 2014 11:55 AM (hqVUe)

7 Somebody should call Maury.

Posted by: loneduck at January 13, 2014 11:56 AM (n+hGq)

8 I think it's a jokey stunt -- that his mom worked at 30 Rock in 1993 but was fired after she became pregnant, working just three floors under Conan O'Brien's offices and studios.

Even Conan's semen wouldn't penetrate through three floors.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 13, 2014 11:56 AM (8ZskC)

9 This is what happens to red-headed surprises when you do away with the Post Office. Be forewarned.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at January 13, 2014 11:58 AM (xq1UY)

I wonder if holy water would be effective?

Posted by: Mikey NTH - We Have the HRC Designer Vindictivenous Line Exclusively! at January 13, 2014 11:58 AM (hLRSq)

11 In all honesty, he does bear a strong resemblance to Conan. And he's pretty funny.

Could it be????

Posted by: EC at January 13, 2014 11:58 AM (GQ8sn)

12 5- My "first love" was a soulless ginger. I wish I could tell you it's not worth it... but it is.

Posted by: BurtTC at January 13, 2014 11:59 AM (rFjSX)

13 Even Conan's semen wouldn't penetrate through three floors. ...the semen then paused - in mid-air, mind you - and struck the victim on the inner thigh.

Posted by: The Mgic Nut at January 13, 2014 11:59 AM (QYq5z)

14 But then again, it might be that all gingers, possessing no souls, resemble each other, ghostly, eerie, and evil. Siiiiiiiigh. How many times do we have to go through this. Gingers have souls! I mean, what do you think we keep in those bell jars? Sheesh.

Posted by: alexthechick - Come to us, oh mighty SMOD at January 13, 2014 11:59 AM (VtjlW)

15 Mini-me, you complete me.

Posted by: Conan O'Brien at January 13, 2014 11:59 AM (8ZskC)

16 But then again, it might be that all gingers, possessing no souls, resemble each other, ghostly, eerie, and evil.

Yeah, that's probably it.

Posted by: HR, or AtC, or MWR, or... at January 13, 2014 12:00 PM (ZKzrr)

17 Its pretty clearly a joke, though the resemblance is enough to make you wonder. . .if only a little bit.

Posted by: looking closely at January 13, 2014 12:00 PM (TZsWx)

18 Can't wait to tell my wife she has no soul.

Posted by: Caliban at January 13, 2014 12:00 PM (DrC22)

19 soul : Ginger :: hamburger : everyone else.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at January 13, 2014 12:00 PM (PYAXX)

20 Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to plead ignorance on this thing, because if I had known that sort of thing was frowned upon...

Posted by: Conan at January 13, 2014 12:01 PM (QupBk)

21 Is this TMZ enquirer day? Did I miss something?

Posted by: oc joe at January 13, 2014 12:01 PM (hqVUe)

22 Can we get some video of someone pretending to be Angie Everhart's illegitimate daughter?

Posted by: Waterhouse at January 13, 2014 12:01 PM (FEHds)

23 I don't see the jokey parts. Seemed legit.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at January 13, 2014 12:01 PM (ZPrif)

24 blah blah blah Angie Everhart

Sorry, I didn't get much further than this.

Posted by: grognard at January 13, 2014 12:03 PM (/29Nl)

25 I'd believe that Conan O'Brien himself made that video when he was younger, and sat on it for 20-25 years, just to get this joke now.

Posted by: Vortex Lovera at January 13, 2014 12:03 PM (wtvvX)

26 18 - She already knows.

Posted by: BurtTC at January 13, 2014 12:03 PM (rFjSX)

27 It's really remarkable how similar his mannerism are, even the dancing. Clearly genetic.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at January 13, 2014 12:03 PM (ZPrif)

28 >>> In all honesty, he does bear a strong resemblance to Conan. And he's pretty funny. Could it be???? ... I was thinking this: Maybe his mom is Conan's COUSIN. Not saying they had sex. Just saying that Conan got his cousin a job at NBC or something. So the story is superficially true about the "Mom worked at 30 Rock" part. So he'd have the family resemblance for family reasons, but not because Conan's his dad, but rather, his uncle. Something like that. or it could just be a coincidence. people do sometimes have near-doubles.

Posted by: ace at January 13, 2014 12:03 PM (/FnUH)

29 My son does not get the whole "gingers have no souls" joke. I tried explaining to him that it's one long running big joke around the world (?) that people like to make fun of red-haired people because they are different. There's no real malice against redheads ofcourse, and I've tried to track down the origin of the whole meme. He still says I'm a bigot and mean for telling the joke.

Posted by: EC at January 13, 2014 12:03 PM (GQ8sn)

30 ..the semen then paused -- in mid-air, mind you -- and struck the victim on the inner thigh. Posted by: The Magic Nut
There HAD to have been a second shooter!!!1!!1

Posted by: tinfoil j. moron at January 13, 2014 12:03 PM (Rax2C)

31 Probably a joke by Conan himself.

Posted by: t-bird at January 13, 2014 12:03 PM (FcR7P)

32 Gingers, being without souls, cannot reproduce sexually like normal humans. They simply "appear" as foundlings, like the immortals of Highlander lore. Except instead, immortality and badass attributes, ginger spawn are weak, pale, and full of mucus.

Posted by: wooga at January 13, 2014 12:03 PM (h68p/)

33 "But then again, it might be that all gingers, possessing no souls, resemble each other, ghostly, eerie, and evil." Hey, now......

Posted by: Scott M at January 13, 2014 12:03 PM (AdBfq)

34 If you've never seen Conan O'Brien's commencement speech at Dartmouth in 2011, you should watch it. It's a classic.

http://tinyurl.com/4yolevv

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 13, 2014 12:03 PM (8ZskC)

35 LOL! That was actually kind of funny. Plus, he is a dead ringer for Conan. Heh!

Posted by: runningrn at January 13, 2014 12:04 PM (o6g4X)

36 There HAD to have been a second shooter!!!1!!1 Yes, the one on the hairy mound...

Posted by: runningrn at January 13, 2014 12:04 PM (o6g4X)

37 Is this TMZ enquirer day? Did I miss something? If you want to know what kind of mood Ace is in, this right here is how it's done.

Posted by: garrett at January 13, 2014 12:04 PM (QYq5z)

38 Truly, an ignorant bastard if his claims are disproved.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at January 13, 2014 12:05 PM (Rax2C)

39 I think I am J Paul Getty's illegitimate son, except I got 2 good ears

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 13, 2014 12:05 PM (t3UFN)

>>>Can't wait to tell my wife she has no soul.

No rhythm either, yo

Posted by: Bigby's Oven Mitts at January 13, 2014 12:05 PM (3ZtZW)

41 Probably a joke by Conan himself. Years ago I was asked to watch a new show and rate it for the Network... It was a pilot for Conan O'Brien. I watched it and said it stunk.... Needless to say they didn't take my review and went ahead... Still think he sucks...

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at January 13, 2014 12:05 PM (9+ccr)

42 Enquirer > Hot Air.

Posted by: toby928© at January 13, 2014 12:05 PM (QupBk)

43 did you see Diane Keaton at the Golden Calf awards last night? she looked the skeleton from Tales From The Crypt

Posted by: soothsayer in The Room at January 13, 2014 12:06 PM (ixub4)

44 That reminds me I've never had sex with a ginger. *Adds item to Bucket List* Move it to the front of the line.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 13, 2014 12:06 PM (CRyse)

45 Probably a joke by Conan himself. Prolly.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b] at January 13, 2014 12:06 PM (0HooB)

46 I'm pretty sure that dance is how gingers steal our souls.

Posted by: Lauren at January 13, 2014 12:07 PM (hFL/3)

47 My "first love" was a soulless ginger. I wish I could tell you it's not worth it... but it is.

Posted by: BurtTC at January 13, 2014 03:59 PM (rFjSX)

---------------------------------------------

When I was in HS a ginger wanted my love. But then I saw the "ritual" remnants in her backyard..........

Posted by: Soona at January 13, 2014 12:07 PM (lG8Uj)

48 ...after she became pregnant, working just three floors under Conan O'Brien's offices and studios. ***** What's that dripping from the ceiling?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at January 13, 2014 12:07 PM (g4TxM)

49 It's also possible he's a clone. GE owned NBC at the time and had a lot of military R&D contracts. The highest probability explanation is that this was a just DARPA cloning project gone wrong. Dolly the Sheep happened about the same time. Clearly not a coincidence. Occam's Razor.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at January 13, 2014 12:07 PM (ZPrif)

50 *puts hex on ace*

Posted by: Y-not, ginger at January 13, 2014 12:07 PM (zDsvJ)

51 There's no real malice against redheads ofcourse.....

-----

Sez you!

Posted by: Red-Headed Stepchild at January 13, 2014 12:07 PM (YmPwQ)

52 >>>If you want to know what kind of mood Ace is in, this right here is how it's done. hahaha Garrett, you totally "get" me.

Posted by: ace at January 13, 2014 12:07 PM (/FnUH)

53 I am Slim Pickens' illegitimate son

( Major Kong in 'Dr. Strangelove' )

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAWWWWWWWWWWWW !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Hedwig Bleibtreu at January 13, 2014 12:07 PM (omBWL)

54 It's fake. Check the guy's eyebrows. He's doing an act, like any other celebrity impersonator would.

Posted by: BurtTC at January 13, 2014 12:07 PM (rFjSX)

55 who could possibly give a shit about this?

or anything having to do with Conan, for that matter...

someone tell his unfunny east coast hipster ass that his 15 miliseconds of fame are up and no one cares any more.

Posted by: redc1c4 at January 13, 2014 12:07 PM (q+fqH)

56 There's no real malice against redheads ofcourse, and I've tried to track down the origin of the whole meme. He still says I'm a bigot and mean for telling the joke. You failed to raise a son with a sense of humor? A member of the easily aggrieved??? gasp He's not your son.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 13, 2014 12:07 PM (QTPvC)

57 Even Conan's semen wouldn't penetrate through three floors. Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 13, 2014 03:56 PM (8ZskC) The semen of gingers is like the blood of the xenomorphs from Alien(s). Though at least the xenomorphs let you keep your soulÂ…

Posted by: The Political Hat at January 13, 2014 12:08 PM (XvHmy)

58 it might be that all gingers, possessing no souls, resemble each other ----------- That's bullshit!

Posted by: Ron Howard/Jay Carney Fan Club at January 13, 2014 12:08 PM (aDwsi)

59 no but seriously I guess I just have to understand that the sentiment of "I'm not interested in this therefore NOBODY could or should have interest in this" is pretty strong on the conservative side of the aisle.

Posted by: ace at January 13, 2014 12:08 PM (/FnUH)

60 sometimes I oversimplify things, and Jump to Conclusions

Posted by: Occam's Razor at January 13, 2014 12:09 PM (omBWL)

61 Tales From The Crypt

Angie Everhart was in Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood.

Everything comes full-circle.

Posted by: grognard at January 13, 2014 12:09 PM (/29Nl)

62 did he give the same commencement at Harvard a few years earlier?

Posted by: soothsayer in The Room at January 13, 2014 12:09 PM (ixub4)

Looks like him. Paternity test would prove it.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at January 13, 2014 12:09 PM (32Ze2)

64 You failed to raise a son with a sense of humor?

A member of the easily aggrieved???

gasp

He's not your son.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 13, 2014 04:07 PM (QTPvC)

I blame public school.

Posted by: EC at January 13, 2014 12:09 PM (GQ8sn)

65 59 no but seriously I guess I just have to understand that the sentiment of "I'm not interested in this therefore NOBODY could or should have interest in this" is pretty strong on the conservative side of the aisle. Yeah, we need more important stuff like Bridegate....

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at January 13, 2014 12:09 PM (9+ccr)

66 My "first love" was a soulless ginger. I wish I could tell you it's not worth it... but it is. My "first STD" was a soulless ginger. I wish I could tell you it was worth it, but it wasn't.

Posted by: Guy Who Doesn't Give a Shit at January 13, 2014 12:09 PM (7ObY1)

67 .the semen then paused -- in mid-air, mind you -- and struck the victim on the inner thigh. Posted by: The Magic Nut There HAD to have been a second shooter!!!1!!1 From behind....

Posted by: rickb223 at January 13, 2014 12:10 PM (CRyse)

68 Still think he sucks... His brand of humor, like most "comedians" these days, is lost on me.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b] at January 13, 2014 12:10 PM (0HooB)

69 @29:

Actually, the reason to point fingers at gingers and laugh is that gingers are throwbacks to the neanderthal.

Saw it on TV, so it has to be true.

Posted by: Grimmy at January 13, 2014 12:10 PM (uUsh9)

70 He's really O'Brien's stunt double.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at January 13, 2014 12:10 PM (eGmvn)

71 it might be that all gingers, possessing no souls, resemble each other
-----------

That's bullshit!

Posted by: Ron Howard/Jay Carney Fan Club at January 13, 2014 04:08 PM (aDwsi)

Jay Carney is a ginger???

It would explain some things....

Posted by: EC at January 13, 2014 12:10 PM (GQ8sn)

72 Yes, the one on the hairy mound...
Beside the Dallas Semen Depository!!11!

Posted by: tinfoil j. moron at January 13, 2014 12:10 PM (Rax2C)

73 I am the reincarnation of James K. Polk!

Posted by: Vortex Lovera at January 13, 2014 12:10 PM (wtvvX)

74 Posted by: EC at January 13, 2014 04:09 PM (GQ8sn) Tell him some Blonde jokes. That should get him to lighten up.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at January 13, 2014 12:10 PM (PYAXX)

75 Clearly a gag

Posted by: Thunderb at January 13, 2014 12:10 PM (zOTsN)

76 Any of you who is a parent of a female child and has been victimized by the insidious SCAMerican Girl Dolls phenomenon, needs to watch the video of Conan at the AG doll store. It is too funny! Like I tell all my friends, the doll is the cheapest part of the entire thing!

Posted by: runningrn at January 13, 2014 12:11 PM (o6g4X)

77 30 ..the semen then paused -- in mid-air, mind you -- and struck the victim on the inner thigh. Posted by: The Magic Nut There HAD to have been a second shooter!!!1!!1 Posted by: tinfoil j. moron at January 13, 2014 04:03 PM (Rax2C) ********* LOL! Working in the grassy knoll would have been overkill.

Posted by: Hawaii at January 13, 2014 12:11 PM (RJMhd)

78 59 no but seriously I guess I just have to understand that the sentiment of "I'm not interested in this therefore NOBODY could or should have interest in this" is pretty strong on the conservative side of the aisle. Have you been to Kos lately??

Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 13, 2014 12:11 PM (QTPvC)

79 5 That reminds me I've never had sex with a ginger. *Adds item to Bucket List* Posted by: Bill Clinton at January 13, 2014 03:55 PM (RJMhd) I guaran-damn-tee you that isn't the real Bill Clinton posting. IYKWIMAITYD

Posted by: duke at January 13, 2014 12:11 PM (d3clc)

80
I think Ace is his dad.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 13, 2014 12:11 PM (n0DEs)

81 "That reminds me I've never had sex with a ginger.

*Adds item to Bucket List*"

Posted by: Bill Clinton at January 13, 2014 03:55 PM

That poor ginger's pissed-off dial is going to go to 7 when it figures out that The Bent One has no soul to steal.

Posted by: Jaws at January 13, 2014 12:12 PM (4I3Uo)

82 Yes, the one on the hairy mound...
Beside the Dallas Semen Depository!!11!

And she insisted on coming to work pantsless that day, despite all the warnings.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 13, 2014 12:12 PM (8ZskC)

83 Tell him some Blonde jokes. That should get him to lighten up.

Oh, he loves those!

But then I get the evil eye from Mrs. EC.

Posted by: EC at January 13, 2014 12:12 PM (GQ8sn)

84 Axelrod helpfully explaining that the difference between bridge ghazi and other political chicanery is that this one hurt "citizens" I guess conservatives aren't "citizens"

Posted by: Thunderb at January 13, 2014 12:12 PM (zOTsN)

85 76 Any of you who is a parent of a female child and has been victimized by the insidious SCAMerican Girl Dolls phenomenon, needs to watch the video of Conan at the AG doll store. It is too funny! Like I tell all my friends, the doll is the cheapest part of the entire thing! Tell me about it.... My Grand daughter is hooked on the stuff.... The clothes for the dolls cost more than mine.....

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at January 13, 2014 12:12 PM (9+ccr)

86 Ace, you should post what's interesting to you. If people want to opine, that's good.... if'n they don't, that's good too. Your offbeat stuff is the best. It's what keeps me coming here.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at January 13, 2014 12:12 PM (32Ze2)

87 72 Yes, the one on the hairy mound... Beside the Dallas Semen Depository!!11! Posted by: tinfoil j. moron at January 13, 2014 04:10 PM (Rax2C) ********* LOL! You worked it.

Posted by: Hawaii at January 13, 2014 12:12 PM (RJMhd)

88 >My "first love" was a soulless ginger. I wish I could tell you it's not worth it... but it is. <

Preach it brother.

Posted by: Muad'dib at January 13, 2014 12:12 PM (KjlbF)

89 I guess conservatives aren't "citizens"

I guess ghey Ambassadors aren't "citizens."

Posted by: HR at January 13, 2014 12:12 PM (ZKzrr)

90 Who's 15 seconds are fame are up? The guy who's had a nationally televised late night show for 20 years?

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at January 13, 2014 12:13 PM (ZPrif)

91 Posted by: ace at January 13, 2014 04:08 PM It is also easy to mimic. ...making it a standard trope.

Posted by: garrett at January 13, 2014 12:13 PM (QYq5z)

92 the semen then paused -- in mid-air, mind you -- and struck the victim on the inner thigh. That, gentlemen, was one magic load.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 13, 2014 12:13 PM (QTPvC)

no but seriously I guess I just have to understand that the sentiment of "I'm not interested in this therefore NOBODY could or should have interest in this" is pretty strong on the conservative side of the aisle.

I find it scintillating. I am flattered that total strangers who are made out of pixels will take the time to inform me that they are not amused by what amuses me. Takes effort, yo!

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at January 13, 2014 12:13 PM (A0sHn)

94 Axelrod saying IRS was a low level management issue, so, shut up

Posted by: Thunderb at January 13, 2014 12:13 PM (zOTsN)

95 Posted by: EC at January 13, 2014 04:12 PM (GQ8sn) Wait... The "Soulless Ginger" meme is "cruel" but Blonde jokes are okay? You should blame Public School, that's the only place such a lack of logic could fester so long.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at January 13, 2014 12:13 PM (PYAXX)

96 Conan is objectively not funny. As proof I give his 30 year career as a highly paid comedy writer, comedian, and late night host.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at January 13, 2014 12:14 PM (ZPrif)

97 They are giddy at MSNBC

Posted by: Thunderb at January 13, 2014 12:14 PM (zOTsN)

98 59 I think its just the Jr. Crotchety Old Cripple brigade going on about newfangled flappitygibbet and telling whatever that is to get off their lawns. Don't take it to heart, IOW.

Posted by: Bigby's Oven Mitts at January 13, 2014 12:14 PM (3ZtZW)

99 Tell me about it.... My Grand daughter is hooked on the stuff.... The clothes for the dolls cost more than mine..... It doesn't end with the clothes eiher! You can get matching clothes for your kids, the hot air balloon, the convertible car, the horses, the stable, the furniture, etc., etc. It's the scam that keeps on scamming! (A lot of parents get sucked in because it comes with a book and they think "My daughter is going to read and learn about a historical period...") Suckers!!

Posted by: runningrn at January 13, 2014 12:14 PM (o6g4X)

100 Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at January 13, 2014 04:13 PM (A0sHn) ^5

Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 13, 2014 12:14 PM (QTPvC)

101 In the backseat of a Ford Theatre!!1!!1

Posted by: tinfoil j. moron at January 13, 2014 12:15 PM (Rax2C)

102 Get the jam. GET THE JAM!!!

Posted by: March Hare at January 13, 2014 12:15 PM (YmPwQ)

103 who could possibly give a shit about this?

or anything having to do with Conan, for that matter....

So wait. You read the HQ and you never even smirked at the Masturbating Bear?

Posted by: Ian S. at January 13, 2014 12:15 PM (B/VB5)

104 Can't wait to tell my wife she has no soul.

Oh, she has one.

Yours.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at January 13, 2014 12:15 PM (wSrLR)

105 Like I tell all my friends, the doll is the cheapest part of the entire thing!

Posted by: runningrn at January 13, 2014 04:11 PM (o6g4X)

Like Barbie? Or any of the Disney princess stuff?

Posted by: Mikey NTH - We Have the HRC Designer Vindictivenous Line Exclusively! at January 13, 2014 12:15 PM (hLRSq)

106 about one out of seven people in Ireland have red hair

ponder that

Posted by: Fingers Filner, feeling fine at January 13, 2014 12:15 PM (omBWL)

107 Gingers have been known to have a special "sensitivity" to the Earth's magnetic field lines, which is why almost all cultures shun them.

Posted by: Fritz at January 13, 2014 12:16 PM (UzPAd)

108

>>>Tell me about it.... My Grand daughter is hooked on the stuff.... The clothes for the dolls cost more than mine.....

WTF go to Build a Bear and tell her to make up her own damned story

Posted by: Bigby's Oven Mitts at January 13, 2014 12:16 PM (3ZtZW)

109 76 Any of you who is a parent of a female child and has been victimized by the insidious SCAMerican Girl Dolls phenomenon, needs to watch the video of Conan at the AG doll store. It is too funny! Like I tell all my friends, the doll is the cheapest part of the entire thing!

I have several daughters, but suffered only moderate monetary damage from this phenomenon back in the day.

I assume they have a "Laura, 80's-era Lesbian Activist" doll now?

Posted by: Vortex Lovera at January 13, 2014 12:16 PM (wtvvX)

110 I read this yesterday on yahoo. People who look like twins but are not. http://tinyurl.com/meav5jf

Posted by: no good deed at January 13, 2014 12:16 PM (HsJeN)

111 Wait...

The "Soulless Ginger" meme is "cruel" but Blonde jokes are okay?

You should blame Public School, that's the only place such a lack of logic could fester so long.

It's weird. He also thinks "Yo momma's so....." jokes are the shit. Most of them he's heard from his older brothers who don't censor themselves around him at all. I got my wife some jewelry for Christmas, and the oldest one cracked a "Your momma's so old" joke saying she was actually there when the gemstones were first created.

Posted by: EC at January 13, 2014 12:16 PM (GQ8sn)

112 >107 Gingers have been known to have a special "sensitivity" to the Earth's magnetic field lines, which is why almost all cultures shun them.

Posted by: Fritz at January 13, 2014 04:16 PM (UzPAd)<

Do they align with the field lines when they poop?

Posted by: Muad'dib at January 13, 2014 12:17 PM (KjlbF)

113 (A lot of parents get sucked in because it comes with a book and they think "My daughter is going to read and learn about a historical period...") Suckers!! --------------------------- * ponders a reprint of 'Johnny Tremain' that comes with warpaint and tomahawks *

Posted by: Mike Hammer at January 13, 2014 12:17 PM (aDwsi)

114 Gingers have been known to have a special "sensitivity" to the Earth's magnetic field lines, which is why almost all cultures shun them.

In the days before toilets, they all crapped in the same direction too.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 13, 2014 12:17 PM (8ZskC)

115 Like Barbie? Or any of the Disney princess stuff? Mikey, it's worse! The stuff is more exensive than Barbie stuff or Disney Princess stuff. The doll clothes cost what I would spend on something for a kid, and the clothes they make for kids so they can match their doll are equivalent to adult clothing prices. Plus there are so many more accessories and accoutrements that cost beaucoup bucks!

Posted by: runningrn at January 13, 2014 12:17 PM (o6g4X)

116 Is he seven feet tall?

Posted by: baldilocks--Team SMOD at January 13, 2014 12:17 PM (36Rjy)

117 Octomom charged with welfare fraud for not reporting income she made from masturbation porno video she made

Posted by: Thunderb at January 13, 2014 12:18 PM (zOTsN)

118 Like Barbie? Or any of the Disney princess stuff? ...or the seven minutes of drunken, sweaty rutting?

Posted by: garrett at January 13, 2014 12:18 PM (QYq5z)

119 Posted by: EC at January 13, 2014 04:16 PM (GQ8sn) In reality, I blame "teenager." It's a disease 99.99% of the population catches. They usually recover by the time they're 22, though I've seen some cases where the patient did not recover until they hit 30.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at January 13, 2014 12:18 PM (PYAXX)

120 So, this kid is sort of a doppelginger?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at January 13, 2014 12:18 PM (g4TxM)

121 The "Soulless Ginger" meme is "cruel" but Blonde jokes are okay?
Yes, because the blondes don't understand they're being joked about so no harm, no foul.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at January 13, 2014 12:18 PM (Rax2C)

122 Nice, Seamus.

Posted by: Muad'dib at January 13, 2014 12:19 PM (KjlbF)

123 This sounds racist ...

Â“The drop in labor force participation was sharpest for African Americans, who saw a decline of 0.3 percentage points to 60.2 percent, the lowest rate since December of 1977. The rate for African American men fell 0.7 percentage points to 65.6 percent, the lowest on record. The decline in labor force participation was associated with a drop in the overall African American unemployment rate of 0.5 percentage points to 11.9, and a drop of 0.6 percentage points to 11.6 percent for African American men.Â”

... it's a darn good thing that we have a post-partisan, post-racial President at the helm

Posted by: Reit Butler at January 13, 2014 12:19 PM (e8kgV)

124 I don't see the resemblance, the jaw and nose are all wrong.

Posted by: [/i]KG at January 13, 2014 12:19 PM (p7BzH)

125

>>>Gingers have been known to have a special "sensitivity" to the Earth's magnetic field lines, which is why almost all cultures shun them.

Its the iron. Makes their hair red, gives em freckles, and makes em wobble towards magnetic poles.

Posted by: Bigby's Oven Mitts at January 13, 2014 12:19 PM (3ZtZW)

126 I assume they have a "Laura, 80's-era Lesbian Activist" doll now? Not yet, but I suspect it and Trannie Annie will be in the works soon.

Posted by: runningrn at January 13, 2014 12:19 PM (o6g4X)

127 5Â That reminds me I've never had sex with a ginger. ________ FYI -They don't have souls, so it's not a sin.

Posted by: shredded chi - If the river was whiskey, I'd be a diving duck at January 13, 2014 12:19 PM (CqRXU)

128 Have you been to Kos lately?? Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 13, 2014 04:11 PM (QTPvC) THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

Posted by: alexthechick - Come to us, oh mighty SMOD at January 13, 2014 12:19 PM (VtjlW)

129 It's a disease 99.99% of the population catches. They usually recover by the time they're 22, though I've seen some cases where the patient did not recover until they hit 30.

He's 26.

We're still waiting.

Posted by: EC at January 13, 2014 12:19 PM (GQ8sn)

130 So, is this guy the much-storied 'red-headed stepchild'?

Posted by: Mike Hammer at January 13, 2014 12:19 PM (aDwsi)

131 99 % of blondes aren't blondes IYKWIMAITTYD

Posted by: Thunderb at January 13, 2014 12:19 PM (zOTsN)

132 I think the kid fell a little short--should have aimed for Donald Trump as his father.

Posted by: Hawaii at January 13, 2014 12:19 PM (RJMhd)

133 Powdered Albino cock is a hot commodity in certain African trading centers. Not sure of the market condition for Gingers.

Posted by: Lincolntf at January 13, 2014 12:20 PM (ZshNr)

134 Posted by: andycanuck at January 13, 2014 04:18 PM (Rax2C) *snort* Every day I'm glad for my "no drinks while reading the HQ" rule.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at January 13, 2014 12:20 PM (PYAXX)

135 ... it's a darn good thing that we have a post-partisan, post-racial President at the helm Can you imagine if a white man had been president for the past 5 years? Oh the outrage!

Posted by: runningrn at January 13, 2014 12:20 PM (o6g4X)

136 Octomom charged with welfare fraud for not reporting income she made from masturbation porno video she made

Posted by: Thunderb at January 13, 2014 04:18 PM (zOTsN)

______________________

She made money on that? EEEEWWWWWW.....

Posted by: Truck Monkey at January 13, 2014 12:20 PM (32Ze2)

137 So Megyn McFatass got her show cancelled. Yet they give her another one at midnight, which will also be cancelled. Life can be an empty headed blond pork ball, and she is.

Posted by: maddogg at January 13, 2014 12:20 PM (xWW96)

138 128 Have you been to Kos lately?? Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 13, 2014 04:11 PM (QTPvC) THAT'S NOT FUNNY! You're right. Fortunately, your opinion is unimportant.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 13, 2014 12:20 PM (QTPvC)

139

OT sort of , but when Dave Letterman had affairs with his interns / staffers, some guy had the down low on this info and attempted to get Letterman to pay him to keep quiet. The guy was eventually arrested for blackmail.

I mentioned this to raise the question by John Stossel who thinks blackmail should not be illegal if the information you have was obtained legally. That is entering into a financial agreement / contract to keep silent on that information.

I could not think of a reason to disagree with him.

Posted by: polynikes at January 13, 2014 12:20 PM (m2CN7)

140 I don't see the resemblance, the jaw and nose are all wrong. Posted by: KG ---------- O'Blamer doesn't resemble his mother much either.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at January 13, 2014 12:20 PM (aDwsi)

141 Conan is objectively not funny. Also, George Clooney is objectively a bad actor and not handsome. Additionally, Katy Perry is objectively not brain-meltingly hot or a good singer. How these people have such lucrative careers in the entertainment industry is a mystery to me. It's literally unpossible.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at January 13, 2014 12:21 PM (ZPrif)

142 I've been wanting to do this to Bill Gates for years. Never mind that I'm older than he is.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b] at January 13, 2014 12:21 PM (0HooB)

143 My daughter got the cheap target knock off of American Girl Doll. I *think* I remember something about AGD giving money to planned parenthood anyway. That may not be true, but by not looking it up I can feel morally righteous about withholding a $100 doll from my daughter, so I thought I'd tell the horde too so you can all join me.

Posted by: Lauren at January 13, 2014 12:21 PM (hFL/3)

144 Yes, we've been keeping an eye on Ms Octomom's assets for some time now. We suspect she's a tea-partier too.

Posted by: the IRS at January 13, 2014 12:22 PM (Rax2C)

145 I've been wanting to do this to Bill Gates for years. Think he's a eunuch....

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at January 13, 2014 12:22 PM (9+ccr)

146 I read this yesterday on yahoo. People who look like twins but are not. http://tinyurl.com/meav5jf

Posted by: no good deed at January 13, 2014 04:16 PM (HsJeN)

--------------------------------------------------

There was a book published not too long ago that postulated that caucasian women come from only 23 different hereditary lines. I've mistaken a lot of women who look a lot like some other woman that I've known.

Posted by: Soona at January 13, 2014 12:22 PM (lG8Uj)

147 O'Blamer doesn't resemble his mother much either. Or Barack Sr.....

Posted by: runningrn at January 13, 2014 12:22 PM (o6g4X)

148
O'Blamer doesn't resemble his mother much either.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at January 13, 2014 04:20 PM (aDwsi)

Don't they share the nose? My memory of their respective looks could be hazy, I haven't disgraced my eyesight with their images in a long time.

Posted by: [/i]KG at January 13, 2014 12:22 PM (p7BzH)

149 I am actually apalled at the lack of firecrotch jokes, come on guy's pick it up.

Posted by: oc joe at January 13, 2014 12:22 PM (5fkya)

150 Posted by: Lauren at January 13, 2014 04:21 PM (hFL/3) 18 months and my daughter will get her first gun. It'll be a BB gun, but still. It'll be pink.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at January 13, 2014 12:22 PM (PYAXX)

151 Hillary has a shit-list, Ariel Sharon's coma is over, Southwest is landing planes all over the map, and we sit here talking about this? This? This is all we have to talk about? I for one am about to find out if the Hot Air button still works, hmmph.

Tl;dr, Shorter Conan: "At this point, what difference..."

What does Letterman always want you to call him? "Rusty"?

Posted by: Stringer Davis at January 13, 2014 12:22 PM (xq1UY)

152 "Not yet, but I suspect it and Trannie Annie will be in the works soon."

I LOL'd, runningrn.....

Posted by: Vortex Lovera at January 13, 2014 12:22 PM (wtvvX)

153 OT sort of , but when Dave Letterman had affairs with his interns / staffers, some guy had the down low on this info and attempted to get Letterman to pay him to keep quiet. The guy was eventually arrested for blackmail.

I mentioned this to raise the question by John Stossel who thinks blackmail should not be illegal if the information you have was obtained legally. That is entering into a financial agreement / contract to keep silent on that information.

I could not think of a reason to disagree with him.

Posted by: polynikes at January 13, 2014 04:20 PM (m2CN7)

This happened right at the same time he was going off on Sarah Palin taking her younger daughter to a Yankees game. Letterman didn't realize it was her younger child, and not the teen mom one.

Posted by: EC at January 13, 2014 12:23 PM (GQ8sn)

154 I bet Jimmy Kimmel pops out in the extended cut. Now that would be funny.

Posted by: Dr Spank at January 13, 2014 12:24 PM (P1WNR)

155 I can feel morally righteous about withholding a $100 doll from my daughter

This is a prime time to teach her about 'disappointment'.

Posted by: EC at January 13, 2014 12:24 PM (GQ8sn)

156 I guess conservatives aren't "citizens" Just wait until I pass the new ~~Nurenberg~~ D.C. laws on citizenshipÂ…

Posted by: Die Führerin Hillary at January 13, 2014 12:24 PM (XvHmy)

157 It puts the lotion on its skin.

Posted by: General Zod at January 13, 2014 12:24 PM (2+bRt)

158 If I had a son, he'd look just like him.

Posted by: Connan O'bama at January 13, 2014 12:24 PM (FciyD)

159 Tell me about it.... My Grand daughter is hooked on the stuff.... The clothes for the dolls cost more than mine..... WTF go to Build a Bear and tell her to make up her own damned story Huggy Bear. The Pimpening.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 13, 2014 12:24 PM (CRyse)

160

So you don't think da Zero resembles his Mom???

http://tinyurl.com/34so4bo

Posted by: maddogg at January 13, 2014 12:24 PM (xWW96)

161 Who's your daddy?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 13, 2014 12:25 PM (t3UFN)

162 You read the HQ and you never even smirked at the Masturbating Bear? In Soviet Russia, Masturbating Bear smirks YOU.

Posted by: toby928© beating memes to death since 2006 at January 13, 2014 12:25 PM (QupBk)

163 I have it on good authority that Conan O'Brien doesn't think I'm funny.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at January 13, 2014 12:25 PM (g4TxM)

164 150 It'll be pink. there's a couple places on gunbroker that will make a gun pink for you on topic though....this is just proof that gingers should be rooted out and put far far away like soul stealing lepers

Posted by: navycopjoe why god why? at January 13, 2014 12:25 PM (At8tV)

165 It'd be funnier if he claimed to be Andy Richter's illegitimate son.

Posted by: grognard at January 13, 2014 12:25 PM (/29Nl)

166 Posted by: maddogg

See, that's why no one clinks on links here.

Posted by: Dr Spank at January 13, 2014 12:25 PM (P1WNR)

167 I never heard the 'souless ginger" meme until I got here, only that redheads were supposedly quick tempered.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 13, 2014 12:25 PM (7kkQJ)

168 Posted by: EC at January 13, 2014 04:23 PM .........That's because Letterman is a senile hack who hasn't had any original thoughts or materials since the Reagan administration. How he has a show is amazing.

Posted by: Connan O'bama at January 13, 2014 12:26 PM (FciyD)

169 I can feel morally righteous about withholding a $100 doll from my daughter

My daughter's was a gift from grandma. Thankfully, grandma sews the clothes for it too.

Posted by: no good deed at January 13, 2014 12:26 PM (HsJeN)

170 Posted by: maddogg at January 13, 2014 04:24 PM (xWW96) I'm not clicking on that. I'm *not* clicking on that. I'm not *clicking* on that. *I'm* not clicking on that. I'm not clicking on *that.* Oh, God! Why did I have to click on that!?! Why, God, why?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at January 13, 2014 12:26 PM (PYAXX)

171 Off celeb sock!

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 13, 2014 12:26 PM (FciyD)

172 "no but seriously I guess I just have to understand that the sentiment of "I'm not interested in this therefore NOBODY could or should have interest in this" is pretty strong on the conservative side of the aisle."

if, as i do, you live in the belly of the beast, where every other conversation and "news" story is some breathless recitation of the latest "celebrity" tidbit, it all becomes a very annoying endless buzz, like flies at a manure pile.

i understand that some folks find this garbage breathlessly entertaining, but they are likely the same folks who still think Heaven's Gate & Ishtar should have won the Oscar for Movie of the Year.

your house, your rules... & stop by for a drink, next time you're out here in Lost Angels.

Posted by: redc1c4 at January 13, 2014 12:26 PM (q+fqH)

173 I just can't believe the term 'illegitimate' is still being used. So negative. So harsh.

Posted by: RioBravo at January 13, 2014 12:27 PM (eEfYn)

174 117 Octomom charged with welfare fraud for not reporting income she made from masturbation porno video she made

Posted by: Thunderb at January 13, 2014 04:18 PM (zOTsN)

Ew. Just. Ew.

Posted by: DangerGirl at January 13, 2014 12:27 PM (GrtrJ)

175 167 I never heard the 'souless ginger" meme until I got here, only that redheads were supposedly quick tempered. Yeah, that's because everyone equates red-hair with Irish..... My Sister is a ginger, and we are Swedish, Mom being born there. Lots of red-heads in Sweden....

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at January 13, 2014 12:27 PM (9+ccr)

176 I thing gingers are HOT! HOT! HOT! Ah likes 'em.

Posted by: maddogg at January 13, 2014 12:27 PM (xWW96)

177 18 months and my daughter will get her first gun. It'll be a BB gun, but still.

It'll be pink.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at January 13, 2014 04:22 PM (PYAXX)

-----------------------------------------

Word of advice. Hide the pets.

Posted by: Soona at January 13, 2014 12:27 PM (lG8Uj)

178 117 Octomom charged with welfare fraud for not reporting income she made from masturbation porno video she made Posted by: Thunderb at January 13, 2014 04:18 PM (zOTsN) She couldn't fill out the proper tax forms because her hands were busy!

Posted by: runningrn at January 13, 2014 12:28 PM (o6g4X)

179 Word of advice. Hide the pets. Posted by: Soona at January 13, 2014 04:27 PM (lG8Uj) The pets? I may have to hide her brother.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at January 13, 2014 12:28 PM (PYAXX)

180 In Soviet Russia, Masturbating Bear smirks YOU. Posted by: toby928Â© beating memes to death since 2006 at January 13, 2014 04:25 PM .................Yes?....Go on.

Posted by: The Chicken at January 13, 2014 12:28 PM (FciyD)

181

I love the soulless ginger meme. It's funny. In the funny-because-you-know-it's-true way.

I hate the fact that it comes from South Park because I hate South Park. I resent them for making me enjoy something they created.

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at January 13, 2014 12:28 PM (A0sHn)

182 O'Blamer doesn't resemble his mother much either. Posted by: Mike Hammer at January 13, 2014 04:20 PM (aDwsi) They look just alike to me. He looks nothing like his father, however. But neither does that one brother of his who is also half white.

Posted by: baldilocks--Team SMOD at January 13, 2014 12:28 PM (36Rjy)

183 Posted by: EC at January 13, 2014 04:23 PM .........That's because Letterman is a senile hack who hasn't had any original thoughts or materials since the Reagan administration. How he has a show is amazing.

Posted by: Connan O'bama at January 13, 2014 04:26 PM (FciyD)

It was the perfect storm of delicious irony. He's cracking sex jokes at Palin's little girl while he's been banging some intern for years at the studio.

Posted by: EC at January 13, 2014 12:28 PM (GQ8sn)

184 173 I just can't believe the term 'illegitimate' is still being used. So negative. So harsh.

*****************

I know. What bastards.

Posted by: Bob's House of Flannel Shirts and Wallet Chains at January 13, 2014 12:28 PM (vgIRn)

185 117 Octomom charged with welfare fraud for not reporting income she made from masturbation porno video she made ****throws out the dinner i'm making****

Posted by: navycopjoe why god why? at January 13, 2014 12:28 PM (At8tV)

186 Octomom charged with welfare fraud for not reporting income she made from masturbation porno video she made Posted by: Thunderb at January 13, 2014 04:18 PM (zOTsN) There's a Turbo-Tax joke to be made in there somewhere...

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at January 13, 2014 12:28 PM (PYAXX)

187

Posted by: redc1c4 at January 13, 2014 04:26 PM (q+fqH)

can someone translate svenese?

Posted by: polynikes at January 13, 2014 12:29 PM (m2CN7)

188 Obama does look a lot like his half-brother, from the same father. I was much more skeptical that Obama Sr was his real dad -- I though there was a chance his mom got knocked up by some random black dude and the family was ok with foreign black PhD guy taking the blame/credit. At least until I saw his half-brother. Also watching Obama play basketball makes him look a lot more Kenyan. Kenyans are slow (when sprinting) and can't jump. Obama is slow and can't jump. They make good distance runners, but don't bet on a Kenyan in any race that has the word "dash" in it.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at January 13, 2014 12:29 PM (ZPrif)

189 173 I just can't believe the term 'illegitimate' is still being used. So negative. So harsh. Posted by: RioBravo at January 13, 2014 04:27 PM (eEfYn) BINGO! Just like there are no illegal people just "undocumented" ones!

Posted by: runningrn at January 13, 2014 12:29 PM (o6g4X)

190 Obama does too look like Franklin Davis Marshall

Posted by: Truck Monkey at January 13, 2014 12:29 PM (32Ze2)

191 I saw a photo the other day of a grizzly bear with 4 cubs. I've seen 3 cubs before but never 4. That has to be hard to feed them all and keep them from being eaten by the other bears. I wonder if mom kills one of the cubs. It would be easier and provide a snack.

Posted by: Plaintiff Pug at January 13, 2014 12:29 PM (Qev5V)

192 Looks more like Buck Sexton to me...

Posted by: Stu-22 at January 13, 2014 12:30 PM (AiYlm)

193 Oh, God! Why did I have to click on that!?! Why, God, why?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at January 13, 2014 04:26 PM (PYAXX)

maddog has a... reputation. It's your own fault for not keeping up, you know. It's right there in fine print on your AOSHQ membership card.

Posted by: [/i]KG at January 13, 2014 12:30 PM (p7BzH)

194 I mentioned this to raise the question by John Stossel who thinks blackmail should not be illegal if the information you have was obtained legally. That is entering into a financial agreement / contract to keep silent on that information. I could not think of a reason to disagree with him. Posted by: polynikes at January 13, 2014 04:20 PM (m2CN7) ********* Well if there was a breach of contract--where would the person buying silence turn--to the courts? Law has a social contract aspect to it--and that involves a "hearing"--and judgment by one's peers. There has been a social norm against blackmail since the days of Conan the Barbarian probably because the threat of exposure can lead to violence, etc. I think Stossel is overboard here.

Posted by: Hawaii at January 13, 2014 12:30 PM (RJMhd)

195 190 Obama does too look like Franklin Davis Marshall

*********

To that end, will the "Chelsea's a dead ringer for Webb Hubbel" meme return in 2016?

Posted by: Bob's House of Flannel Shirts and Wallet Chains at January 13, 2014 12:31 PM (vgIRn)

196 Ew. Just. Ew. Posted by: DangerGirl
We were suspicious over her double-entry bookkeeping.

Posted by: the IRS at January 13, 2014 12:31 PM (Rax2C)

197 173 I just can't believe the term 'illegitimate' is still being used. So negative. So harsh.
Posted by: RioBravo

I use the term "trash" or "whore spawn" to put a positive spin on the situation.

Posted by: Dr Spank at January 13, 2014 12:31 PM (P1WNR)

198 Lots of red-heads in Sweden.... Posted by: hello, it's me -------------- Norse, also. BTW, we be pillaging, raping and looting now.

Posted by: Eric The Red at January 13, 2014 12:31 PM (aDwsi)

199 I just can't believe the term 'illegitimate' is still being used. So negative. So harsh. Undocumented Heir?

Posted by: toby928© beating memes to death since 2006 at January 13, 2014 12:31 PM (QupBk)

200 OT- My four year old granddaughter just offered to make us a sammich. I was all for it until she described it as a Ramen Noodle Sammich, with peanut butter.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at January 13, 2014 12:32 PM (g4TxM)

201

Yeah, that's because everyone equates red-hair with Irish..... My Sister is a ginger, and we are Swedish, Mom being born there. Lots of red-heads in Sweden....

Irish are red from all the Viking rape. I have a part-ginger beard and it reminds me of the filthy Scandi dog blood that was forced into my family tree.

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at January 13, 2014 12:32 PM (A0sHn)

202 You're right. Fortunately, your opinion is unimportant. Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 13, 2014 04:20 PM (QTPvC) Well I see someone wants to be added to the no more caring giver list. I shall oblige you.

Posted by: alexthechick - Come to us, oh mighty SMOD at January 13, 2014 12:32 PM (VtjlW)

203 After watching the video, I really do think he is Conan's son. The shape of his face, his mannerisms...wow. Almost like a clone, except his voice is much deeper. I loved Conan's Late Night show before he took the Tonight Show. I watched it every night, and my brother even got me a Late Night coffee mug when he visited NYC. After he went to the Tonight Show, he watered down what made his show great. It lost the appeal.

Posted by: Adrienne at January 13, 2014 12:32 PM (lVcuh)

204 I saw a photo the other day of a grizzly bear with 4 cubs. I've seen 3 cubs before but never 4. Wait a day.

Posted by: t-bird at January 13, 2014 12:32 PM (FcR7P)

205 I use the term "trash" or "whore spawn" to put a positive spin on the situation. Posted by: Dr Spank -------------- My BIL's mother, a very proper Southern Lady, uses the term 'Heathen'.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at January 13, 2014 12:33 PM (aDwsi)

206 She couldn't fill out the proper tax forms because her hands were busy!

Both hands, the Remington-Rand typewriter, the xerox, and a Monroe calculator.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at January 13, 2014 12:33 PM (xq1UY)

207

Posted by: Hawaii at January 13, 2014 04:30 PM (RJMhd)

He would go to court to recover his payment and the subsquent damages from the breach of contract. Just like any other contract.

Information is a commodity. I don't see why someone cannot broker it if it was obtained legally.

Posted by: polynikes at January 13, 2014 12:33 PM (m2CN7)

208 199 I just can't believe the term 'illegitimate' is still being used. So negative. So harsh. Undocumented Heir? Posted by: toby928Â© beating memes to death since 2006 at January 13, 2014 04:31 PM (QupBk) ********* I dunno this kid looks fake, but accurate.

Posted by: Hawaii at January 13, 2014 12:33 PM (RJMhd)

209
Once you have sex with a ginger, you never go back to the blonds or Doctor Jill.

Posted by: Jo Jo Biden at January 13, 2014 12:33 PM (pJF+c)

210 Well I see someone wants to be added to the no more caring giver list.

I shall oblige you.

Posted by: alexthechick - Come to us, oh mighty SMOD at January 13, 2014 04:32 PM (VtjlW)

Oooh!!! Ooooh!!!

*holds up throat-punch sign*

Posted by: EC at January 13, 2014 12:34 PM (GQ8sn)

211 Kenyans are slow (when sprinting) and can't jump. Obama is slow and can't jump. Posted by: Flatbush Joe at January 13, 2014 04:29 PM (ZPrif) I resemble that remark.

And the Kenyans who dominate distance running come mainly from only one of the gazillion tribes in the region: the Kalenjin.

Posted by: baldilocks--Team SMOD at January 13, 2014 12:34 PM (36Rjy)

212 I use the term "trash" or "whore spawn" to put a positive spin on the situation.

Posted by: Dr Spank
--------------

My BIL's mother, a very proper Southern Lady, uses the term 'Heathen'.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at January 13, 2014 04:33 PM (aDwsi)

___________________________

Rotten, unwanted Crotch Fruit.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at January 13, 2014 12:34 PM (32Ze2)

213 Posted by: Stringer Davis at January 13, 2014 04:33 PM (xq1UY) And ~~a partridge~~ the chicken in a pear tree?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at January 13, 2014 12:34 PM (PYAXX)

214

the semen then paused -- in mid-air, mind you -- and struck the victim on the inner thigh.

I think mythbusters had one where a civil war soldier was shot through the nutsack and the bullet hit a fair maiden in the baby making parts, thusly impregnating her.

At least that was her story.

Posted by: RolandTHTG at January 13, 2014 12:34 PM (QM5S2)

215 I hear Ginger's vaginas are on a 45 degree angle.*

*May have heard that in a bar,

Posted by: Dr Spank at January 13, 2014 12:35 PM (P1WNR)

216 Yeah, that's because everyone equates red-hair with Irish..... My Sister is a ginger, and we are Swedish, Mom being born there. Lots of red-heads in Sweden.... Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at January 13, 2014 04:27 PM (9+ccr) Redheads are far more widespread than that. Lots in Central Asia, for example. http://tinyurl.com/lllc54x http://tinyurl.com/jwwkmh6

Posted by: Die Führerin Hillary at January 13, 2014 12:35 PM (XvHmy)

217 I think mythbusters had one where a civil war soldier was shot through the nutsack and the bullet hit a fair maiden in the baby making parts, thusly impregnating her.
At least that was her story.

"Ok, Kari will be our fair maiden for this myth...."

Posted by: EC at January 13, 2014 12:35 PM (GQ8sn)

218 We were suspicious over her double-entry bookkeeping. Posted by: the IRS at January 13, 2014 04:31 PM (Rax2C) ***** ISWYDT, IRS (if that is your real name)

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at January 13, 2014 12:36 PM (g4TxM)

219 Octomom also claimed she didn't get any Quicken popups telling her to report the items as income.

Posted by: the IRS at January 13, 2014 12:36 PM (Rax2C)

220 "My daughter is going to read and learn about a historical period..."

The most historical ones are the ones that don't happen.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at January 13, 2014 12:36 PM (xq1UY)

221 I just can't believe the term 'illegitimate' is still being used. So negative. So harsh. I prefer bastard.

Posted by: Plaintiff Pug at January 13, 2014 12:36 PM (Qev5V)

222 Well I see someone wants to be added to the no more caring giver list. I shall oblige you. Roll over and bare your throat, quickly! It's your only hope.

Posted by: toby928© beating memes to death since 2006 at January 13, 2014 12:36 PM (QupBk)

223 207 Posted by: Hawaii at January 13, 2014 04:30 PM (RJMhd) He would go to court to recover his payment and the subsquent damages from the breach of contract. Just like any other contract. Information is a commodity. I don't see why someone cannot broker it if it was obtained legally. Posted by: polynikes at January 13, 2014 04:33 PM (m2CN7) ******** Well that would be if they were still alive to collect. Most murder is committed by family members. They are the usual suspects. Infidelity is a huge motivator. I don't like the bind of it. Why has blackmail been against social norms for centuries?

Posted by: Hawaii at January 13, 2014 12:37 PM (RJMhd)

224 Posted by: Die FÃ¼hrerin Hillary at January 13, 2014 An aside for the English-only (Mr. Obama, pay attention back there!) and the NSA, "Die" is simply German for a feminine "the"

Posted by: t-bird at January 13, 2014 12:37 PM (FcR7P)

225 Roll over and bare your throat, quickly! It's your only hope. Posted by: toby928 ------------------ Whining may help...

Posted by: Mike Hammer at January 13, 2014 12:37 PM (aDwsi)

226 How much does a drum of lube cost? If Octomom spent more on lube than she made on the video, it isn't income.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 13, 2014 12:37 PM (8ZskC)

227 I have a part-ginger beard and it reminds me of the filthy Scandi dog blood that was forced into my family tree.

Huh. I thought you were a chick for some reason.

Posted by: HR at January 13, 2014 12:38 PM (ZKzrr)

228 The term Byblow has fallen out of favor.

Posted by: toby928© beating memes to death since 2006 at January 13, 2014 12:38 PM (QupBk)

229 I have an inkling that 'illegitimate' means no standing the eyes of the law. Doesn't mean 'fake,' necessarily.

Posted by: soothsayer in The Room at January 13, 2014 12:39 PM (ixub4)

230 Roll over and bare your throat, quickly! It's your only hope. Or pics of Karl Urban. Or blondies. Or maybe all three.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at January 13, 2014 12:39 PM (PYAXX)

231 @228 "Cadet branch." "Bar sinister."

Posted by: Stringer Davis at January 13, 2014 12:40 PM (xq1UY)

232 I have a part-ginger beard and it reminds me of the filthy Scandi dog blood that was forced into my family tree. Huh. I thought you were a chick for some reason. Posted by: HR at January 13, 2014 04:38 PM (ZKzrr) *** What, you've never been to Peruvia?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at January 13, 2014 12:40 PM (g4TxM)

233

I use the term "trash" or "whore spawn" to put a positive spin on the situation.

Posted by: Dr Spank

--------------

My BIL's mother, a very proper Southern Lady, uses the term 'Heathen'.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at January 13, 2014 04:33 PM (aDwsi)

-------------------------------------------

My parents referred to them as "bastard children".

Posted by: Soona at January 13, 2014 12:40 PM (lG8Uj)

234 My BIL's mother, a very proper Southern Lady, uses the term 'Heathen' Heathen USED to be used for any hyperactive kid. Speaking as a former heathen.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 13, 2014 12:40 PM (CRyse)

235 208 199 I just can't believe the term 'illegitimate' is still being used. So negative. So harsh. Undocumented Heir? Posted by: toby928Â© beating memes to death since 2006 at January 13, 2014 04:31 PM (QupBk) Well... technically.... Jesus was a bastard... I know... I know.... straight ta hell....

Posted by: Romeo13 at January 13, 2014 12:41 PM (lZBBB)

236 Redheads are far more widespread than that. Lots in Central Asia, for example.

There was an ONT a few months back with a Redhead Distribution Map.

We're kept best above the 45th parallel. I'm dying down here.

Posted by: HR at January 13, 2014 12:41 PM (ZKzrr)

237

Huh. I thought you were a chick for some reason.

It's the internet, I could be some sort of weasel.

(In non-pixel form I'm a middle aged male descended from Viking rape victims in Ireland, England and Scottland).

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at January 13, 2014 12:41 PM (A0sHn)

238 Something sensible from Iranian state media linked in my sock. It sounds like a fair cop to me.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at January 13, 2014 12:42 PM (Rax2C)

239 I think I'll add this to my sock drawer.

Posted by: Thurgood Byblow Jr at January 13, 2014 12:42 PM (QupBk)

240 Come on, you can't get pregnant byblow.

Posted by: monica at January 13, 2014 12:44 PM (Rax2C)

241 A quick Bing, produces : bar sinister bastard love child bastard child bend sinister by-blow child born without benefit of clergy nullius filius out-of-wedlock child whoreson

Posted by: Mike Hammer at January 13, 2014 12:44 PM (aDwsi)

242 Posted by: andycanuck at January 13, 2014 04:42 PM (Rax2C) Seem's legit...

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at January 13, 2014 12:44 PM (PYAXX)

243 "born on the wrong side of the blanket"

Posted by: votermom at January 13, 2014 12:45 PM (GSIDW)

244 Well... technically.... Jesus was a bastard... I know... I know.... straight ta hell.... Posted by: Romeo13 at January 13, 2014 04:41 PM (lZBBB) In John 8, some of the Pharisees actually call Him one.

Posted by: baldilocks--Team SMOD at January 13, 2014 12:45 PM (36Rjy)

245 "I have a part-ginger beard..."

Huh. I thought you were a chick for some reason.

Posted by: HR at January 13, 2014 04:38 PM (ZKzrr)

Uh....she's a Moronette. It's very possible that she has a beard.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo's Doppelganger at January 13, 2014 12:45 PM (QFxY5)

246

@168 .........That's because Letterman is a senile hack who hasn't had any original thoughts or materials since the Reagan administration. How he has a show is amazing.

--------------------

His viewership is probably made up of people who think that Leno is a right-wing conservative hack.

Posted by: junior at January 13, 2014 12:45 PM (UWFpX)

247 If Mary & Joseph were married, wouldn't any children of Mary be automatically considered legitimate children of Joseph?

Posted by: votermom at January 13, 2014 12:46 PM (GSIDW)

248 Love child....never meant to be...

Posted by: DangerGirl at January 13, 2014 12:46 PM (GrtrJ)

249 Uh....she's a Moronette. It's very possible that she has a beard.

Uh oh....

Posted by: EC at January 13, 2014 12:46 PM (GQ8sn)

250 "Octomom charged with welfare fraud for not reporting income she made from masturbation porno video she made "

I wonder how the authorities fingered her for the transgression?

Posted by: Jaws at January 13, 2014 12:47 PM (4I3Uo)

251 Uh....she's a Moronette. It's very possible that she has a beard. Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo's Doppelganger at January 13, 2014 04:45 PM (QFxY5) Really now?

Posted by: baldilocks--Team SMOD at January 13, 2014 12:47 PM (36Rjy)

252 Hahaha....jaws to the barrel!

Posted by: EC at January 13, 2014 12:47 PM (GQ8sn)

253 A quick Bing, produces : bar sinister bastard love child bastard child bend sinister by-blow child born without benefit of clergy nullius filius out-of-wedlock child whoreson Posted by: Mike Hammer Heathen brings up some interesting results.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 13, 2014 12:47 PM (CRyse)

254 Let's not forget Obama's term for an unwed teen's baby: "punishment"

Posted by: votermom at January 13, 2014 12:47 PM (GSIDW)

255 I'll be in the barrel if you need me.

Posted by: Jaws at January 13, 2014 12:47 PM (4I3Uo)

256 there's a lot of this stuff going around, one could start a whole blog about the genetic material the luckiest 1% of men have thrown around. For example, the kid in Final Destination 5 is obviously Tom Cruise's kid. Hell, the SGT in the USAA hoorah commercial is probably Harrison Ford's spawn from back in the 70's.

Posted by: oeJay44incday at January 13, 2014 12:47 PM (QxSug)

257 Posted by: Jaws at January 13, 2014 04:47 PM (4I3Uo) Barrel. And what is it with the sudden suicidal tendencies among the Morons?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at January 13, 2014 12:47 PM (PYAXX)

258 If Octobating is a crime, haven't the terrorists won?

Posted by: Lincolntf at January 13, 2014 12:48 PM (ZshNr)

259 Uh....she's a Moronette. It's very possible that she has a beard.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo's Doppelganger at January 13, 2014 04:45 PM (QFxY5)

---------------------------------------------

Quick. The shed in my backyard. You can hide in there.

Posted by: Soona at January 13, 2014 12:48 PM (lG8Uj)

260 I can't recall, but in a recent movie, the kid was obviously a descendant of the Pitt seed.

Posted by: oeJay44incday at January 13, 2014 12:48 PM (QxSug)

261 Uh....she's a Moronette. It's ~~very possible~~ mandatory that she has a beard. Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo's Doppelganger at January 13, 2014 04:45 PM (QFxY5) ***** Fixed for accuracy... ...that and I have a death wish.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at January 13, 2014 12:48 PM (g4TxM)

262 If Octobating is a crime, haven't the terrorists won?

What's shocking is that she made money. Someone paid to watch it.

Posted by: EC at January 13, 2014 12:49 PM (GQ8sn)

263 The irony, it burns. The ship-of-fools tourists are still stuck in Anartica, now on land. Their ice bound Russian ship has broken free and has made port in NZ. Hahaaaa A round of vodka to those Russian sailors for putting up with those clowns. Story is over on WUWT.

Posted by: Jean at January 13, 2014 12:49 PM (4JkHl)

264 If Octobating is a crime, haven't the terrorists won? Posted by: Lincolntf at January 13, 2014 04:48 PM (ZshNr) Well, you know, the IRS wants its fingers in everything...

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at January 13, 2014 12:49 PM (PYAXX)

265 247 If Mary & Joseph were married, wouldn't any children of Mary be automatically considered legitimate children of Joseph? Posted by: votermom at January 13, 2014 04:46 PM (GSIDW) It was known that Mary was pregnant before she and Joseph were wed. Also, according to the OT, anyone who was conceived before the mom and dad were married was considered illegitimate.

Posted by: baldilocks--Team SMOD at January 13, 2014 12:49 PM (36Rjy)

266 Speaking of blackmail, Vikings and a Libertarian that has jumped through his asshole: It is wrong to put temptation in the path of any nation, For fear they should succumb and go astray; So when you are requested to pay up or be molested, You will find it better policy to say: -- "We never pay any-one Dane-geld, No matter how trifling the cost; For the end of that game is oppression and shame, And the nation that plays it is lost!"

Posted by: Hawaii at January 13, 2014 12:50 PM (RJMhd)

267 My last female patient has a beard. Lovely?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 13, 2014 12:50 PM (t3UFN)

268 Well, you know, the IRS wants its fingers in everything...

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at January 13, 2014 04:49 PM (PYAXX)

UGH.

Posted by: DangerGirl at January 13, 2014 12:50 PM (GrtrJ)

269 Might as well get used to seeing lots and lots of bastardy. Too many disincentives to marriage now, including Obamacare if the spouses jobs have the same access to 'plans' and the cost differences are moot.

Posted by: Bigby's Oven Mitts at January 13, 2014 12:50 PM (3ZtZW)

270 An aside for the English-only (Mr. Obama, pay attention back there!) and the NSA, "Die" is simply German for a feminine "the" Singular feminine or plural, actually...

Posted by: Brother Cavil, still chilly at January 13, 2014 12:50 PM (naUcP)

271 Fixed for accuracy... ...that and I have a death wish. Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at January 13, 2014 04:48 PM Apparently.

Posted by: baldilocks--Team SMOD at January 13, 2014 12:51 PM (36Rjy)

272 anyone who was conceived before the mom and dad were married was considered illegitimate. Posted by: baldilocks --------------------- What!? That's not what my mom and dad said....

Posted by: Mike Hammer at January 13, 2014 12:52 PM (aDwsi)

273 New post.

Posted by: baldilocks--Team SMOD at January 13, 2014 12:52 PM (36Rjy)

274 Guy Claims to Be Conan O'Brien's Illegitimate Son, but at what cost?

Posted by: soothsayer in The Room at January 13, 2014 12:53 PM (ixub4)

275 Droppin' like flies, y'all, droppin' like flies. /sets up lawn chair, popcorn, and margaritas //commences filming "Ravage vs Morons, vol. 84"

Posted by: Brother Cavil, still chilly at January 13, 2014 12:53 PM (naUcP)

276 Whew

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at January 13, 2014 12:53 PM (g4TxM)

277 anyone who was conceived before the mom and dad were married was considered illegitimate. Lots of full haired premi's back in those days.

Posted by: Thurgood Byblow Jr at January 13, 2014 12:53 PM (QupBk)

278

Simon Bar Sinister was the bad guy in Underdog.

So there's that.

Posted by: RolandTHTG at January 13, 2014 12:54 PM (QM5S2)

279 My brother has managed to have two kids with two different women, starting when he was 18, married them both, but never was married when any of the kids were born, if that computes. Has kids, marries, divorces, has kids, marries, now separated.

Posted by: Lincolntf at January 13, 2014 12:54 PM (ZshNr)

280 When ever a girl with a bastard baby wants me to see the baby or pics of the baby, I'll usually tell her that's it's a fine looking baby. Then I'll ask her if she knows who the father is.

Posted by: Soona at January 13, 2014 12:54 PM (lG8Uj)

281 272 anyone who was conceived before the mom and dad were married was considered illegitimate. Posted by: baldilocks --------------------- What!? That's not what my mom and dad said.... Posted by: Mike Hammer at January 13, 2014 04:52 PM (aDwsi) LOL. Hey I'm the eldest too...

Posted by: baldilocks--Team SMOD at January 13, 2014 12:56 PM (36Rjy)

282 serious nood up

Posted by: monica at January 13, 2014 12:56 PM (Rax2C)

283 one look, it's not Conan's kid

Posted by: oeJay44incday at January 13, 2014 12:57 PM (QxSug)

284

There is a dude at the Alamo Drafthouse in Leesburg VA who claims to be General Ray Odierno's son--and looked very similar in many ways. Over about an hour he told a great yarn of what it was like to be Gen Odierno's son and how he was in the USMC and wounded in an IED blast... all BS. Unfortunately for him, I served under Ray Odierno in Iraq and knew of his family, but I thought it would be fun to let him go. I even showed him a picture of me and Ray together, but he kept yacking until I paid my tab, called him out, and left.

If you live nearby, ask to see if Chris is at the bar and ask him about his day and the Corps. I'll not post his last name here for privacy reasons, but if you wish to know I'll tell you in private and direct you to his LinkedIn page.

@peeteysdee

Posted by: Peter S. Dee at January 13, 2014 01:24 PM (9FAk+)

285 His last name is Keating..... Um, it appears he either already has an Irish dad or mom.

Posted by: TAO at January 13, 2014 01:28 PM (HGQES)

286 Other than the red hair and the pale pale skin, this guy looks nothing like Conan.

Posted by: biancaneve at January 13, 2014 01:32 PM (2sR50)

287 Two observations: 1) Mini-Me 2) Femskin

Posted by: Bill H at January 13, 2014 01:37 PM (3sZO1)

288 I don't see any humor in this piling on and dehumanizing redheaded people. It's offensive, inhumane, and has no honor.

What if you were in a small minority and your whole life a large number of jerks made fun of what makes you different?

The "ginger" "jokes" are cheap, cowardly, and mean.

(BTW: I'm not a redhead)

Posted by: Peter Lairo at January 13, 2014 01:50 PM (YH7IR)

289
My wife is a ginger.

I feel SO sorry for you unlucky ones.

Posted by: irongrampa at January 13, 2014 01:57 PM (SAMxH)

290 Greetings: Nothing on Britain's Prince Harry looking like Princess Diana's riding instructor ???

Posted by: 11B40 at January 13, 2014 02:00 PM (bVvco)

291 The "ginger" "jokes" are cheap, cowardly, and mean. (BTW: I'm not a redhead) Posted by: Peter Lairo at January 13, 2014 05:50 PM (YH7IR) 'Cause that's how we roll. Say, how do you feel about hobo hunting? It got easier for me after the first dozen or so. The Val-U-Rite helps immensely *burp*.

Posted by: Bill H at January 13, 2014 02:45 PM (3sZO1)

292 That would cross a red line.

Posted by: Barak at January 13, 2014 03:42 PM (39IHH)

293 Octomom charged with welfare fraud for not reporting income she made from masturbation porno video she made

Posted by: Thunderb at January 13, 2014 04:18 PM (zOTsN)

Ew. Just. Ew.

Posted by: DangerGirl at January 13, 2014 04:27 PM (GrtrJ)

I wonder who fingered her to the welfare authorities?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 13, 2014 04:36 PM (60Q+L)

294 Pretty funny.
I don't see how that doesnt score at least a guest-host slot for the Conan "mini-me".

Posted by: Obama Lied Jobs Died at January 16, 2014 12:17 PM (oNqbW)

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