Ace of Spades HQ

January 16, 2014

Breaking: America Breathes In Relief as Philadelphia Swiss-Cheese Pervert Arrested
— Ace

You know, we haven't really discussed this. But My Lord, look at this monster. This is legitimately frightening.

Imagine if that Handsome Devil slowed his car beside you and asked you to watch him as he pleasured himself with some Alpine Lace. Holey strokes, that's scary.

Anyway:

Philadelphia police served Christopher Pagano, 41, with a warrant at his Norristown home, according to officials with the Norristown Police Department....
The Daily News on Monday reported the case extended beyond Mayfair, quoting a message the suspect allegedly sent a Bridesburg woman through dating website OkCupid. "I started to compare girls to cheese due to their milky complections [sic], girls are soft, smooth feeling and tend to like dairy products more," the message read. "That and typical advertising, always using a girl to advertise dairy products. So cheese is what I started to use as a replacement for having sex with girls."
The paper on Thursday reported more readers had stepped forward to share similar tales and that several women were cooperating with the investigation. It is not yet clear how many incidents Pagano is being charged in connection with or exactly what charges he faces.

What do you charge him with? How about three counts of Being My Fucking Hero, that's what you charge him with.

Thanks to not_steve_in_hb.

Oh, and let me close this tab: some stuff you might not know about the custom of the "555" fake phone numbers you see on tv and in movies.

Here's what I found interesting: They're not all fake.

So we keep using them?

REAL FAKE NUMBERS
What you may not know, though, is that there are many more Â“realÂ” 555 phone numbers. Since 1994, 555 numbers have actually been available for personal or business use. ThatÂ’s when the North American Numbering Plan Administration started taking applications from people and businesses who wanted their own 555 numbers. Theoretically, these numbers would have worked from anywhere in the continent; dialers would be able to dial 555-XXXX and always end up with the same number regardless of area code. The hope was that if you needed, say, a taxi anywhere in the country, you could just remember one number that would always work.
Things didnÂ’t work out quite so smoothly. People and businesses snapped up the 555 numbers Â—except for 555-0100 through 555-0199, which were held back for fictional useÂ—but they soon learned that owning a phone number isnÂ’t all that useful if you donÂ’t also own a phone company that can connect the number. Phone companies protested that setting up these services would be wildly expensive; in 2003 Verizon told The New York Times that adding the nationwide 555 service to its systems would cost the company $108 million. (Verizon did offer to hook up the 555 numbers for owners, but the same Times story noted that the service usually required a $2,500 set-up fee per area code.)

Posted by: Ace at 01:55 PM | Comments (372)
Post contains 509 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Kinda looks like Toronto's mayor... Anyone keeping tabs on him?

Posted by: The Laughing Cow, who's currently puking at January 16, 2014 01:58 PM (4S7hN)

2 It'a a pigman!

Posted by: steevy at January 16, 2014 01:59 PM (zqvg6)

3 Cheese Whiz; Straighten up, Jack!......um. Chris. You Gouda get some counselling.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 16, 2014 02:00 PM (7kkQJ)

4 Whew. Glad it's not yoÂ…..ummmÂ…glad to see they caught the guy.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Irish at January 16, 2014 02:00 PM (GEICT)

5 Norristown.

heh

Posted by: Jules at January 16, 2014 02:00 PM (omBWL)

6 As I posted yesterday,what law did he actually break?

Posted by: steevy at January 16, 2014 02:00 PM (zqvg6)

7 I don't always pleasure my junk with cheese but when I do it's gouda.

Posted by: JackStrawstein at January 16, 2014 02:01 PM (g1DWB)

8 Our national nightmare is over.

Posted by: fluffy at January 16, 2014 02:01 PM (Ua6T/)

9 Hey baby, want to come back to my place and check out my fromage?

Posted by: Chris Pagano at January 16, 2014 02:01 PM (cnS/d)

10 "Hey, little girl, wanna see me make some Brie?"

Posted by: filbert at January 16, 2014 02:01 PM (2gjPx)

11 Hey baby, wanna watch me fuck this piece of cheese?

Posted by: DangerGirl at January 16, 2014 02:02 PM (GrtrJ)

12 Cottage Cheese! It's almost as nice as pudding

Posted by: Gunslinger at January 16, 2014 02:02 PM (4S7hN)

13 Okay, I probably should have socked that last little quip, there . . .

Posted by: filbert at January 16, 2014 02:02 PM (2gjPx)

14 Is there a rehab for his issue?

Posted by: NCKate at January 16, 2014 02:02 PM (x6fKj)

15 6 As I posted yesterday,what law did he actually break?

Posted by: steevy at January 16, 2014 06:00 PM (zqvg6)

Three Felony Counts of Too Sexy for my Swiss, that's what

Posted by: Chris Pagano at January 16, 2014 02:02 PM (cnS/d)

16 >>>As I posted yesterday,what law did he actually break? the law of Being Awesome

Posted by: ace at January 16, 2014 02:02 PM (/FnUH)

17 wait, is he that big or is he in a Prius? I also wonder how his glow like that. Must be from the planet Moo.

Posted by: Mallfly at January 16, 2014 02:02 PM (bJm7W)

18 This guy's from Norristown ? I had money on Darby ! Ace, check to see if he every had a Darby address . Juan Muenster Carlos

Posted by: DrDrill at January 16, 2014 02:03 PM (sOFZs)

19 >>> Hey baby, want to come back to my place and check out my fromage? Chris, are you going to jail because you can't spell frottage?

Posted by: fluffy at January 16, 2014 02:03 PM (Ua6T/)

20 2 It'a a pigman! Posted by: steevy at January 16, 2014 05:59 PM (zqvg6) ***** ..from the looks of it his cheese is-- "dual use".

Posted by: Carlos Circumcision at January 16, 2014 02:03 PM (RJMhd)

21 As I posted yesterday,what law did he actually break?

The cheese was pretty definitely under eighteen, wasn't it?

Statutory cheesing, at best.

Posted by: filbert at January 16, 2014 02:03 PM (2gjPx)

22 Finally, some Philly Cream Cheese we can all be proud of

Posted by: Chris Pagano at January 16, 2014 02:03 PM (cnS/d)

23 Thank God, I can sleep soundly now, knowing he is safely behind bars.

Posted by: Velveeta at January 16, 2014 02:03 PM (pginn)

24 Is Swiss cheese kosher?

I'm asking for a friend.

Posted by: GnuBreedstein at January 16, 2014 02:03 PM (cHZB7)

25 exactly what charges he faces As long as it was consensual, I don't see what the problem is. Unless he wasn't taking NO, NO, FUCK NO as an answer...

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie © at January 16, 2014 02:03 PM (1hM1d)

26 Handling food without a license ....

Posted by: Adriane... at January 16, 2014 02:04 PM (hrU8o)

27 Dangit! Fennelon beat me to the Cheeze Whiz comment.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 16, 2014 02:04 PM (DmNpO)

28 pleasured himself with some Alpine Lace

I'm gonna start a little file "Shit I never thought I'd read on the interwebs." This will be the first entry.

Posted by: Peaches at January 16, 2014 02:04 PM (8lmkt)

29 Is there a rehab for his issue?

Posted by: NCKate at January 16, 2014 06:02 PM (x6fKj)

Um. Er. Ah . . .

Posted by: filbert at January 16, 2014 02:04 PM (2gjPx)

30 Chris, are you going to jail because you can't spell frottage?

Posted by: fluffy at January 16, 2014 06:03 PM (Ua6T/)

No I mean fromage, and not just French cheese IYKWIM

Posted by: Chris Pagano at January 16, 2014 02:04 PM (cnS/d)

31 The masses will never trust "government cheese" again.

Posted by: dfbaskwill at January 16, 2014 02:04 PM (ndlFj)

32 well in at least one case he is alleged to have indecently exposed himself. One woman, who I didn't quote (can't excerpt it all), said he called her over to "help him with his cheese" and then pulled his pants down.

Posted by: ace at January 16, 2014 02:05 PM (/FnUH)

33 Spotted dick and swiss anyone ?

Posted by: Christopher Parmegeano at January 16, 2014 02:05 PM (nTgAI)

34 Holey Strokes. Seriously, man. You have talent.

Posted by: garrett at January 16, 2014 02:05 PM (UHS5k)

35 It gives a whole new meaning to Philadelphia cream cheese. :^(

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 16, 2014 02:05 PM (7kkQJ)

36 You think what he does with the cheese is bad! You should see what he does with the bologna!!

Posted by: The Deli Aisle at January 16, 2014 02:06 PM (RJMhd)

37 "I started to compare girls to cheese due to their milky complections [sic], girls are soft, smooth feeling and tend to like dairy products more," the message read. "That and typical advertising, always using a girl to advertise dairy products. So cheese is what I started to use as a replacement for having sex with girls."

I'm trying to find fault with his logic but I'm coming up empty.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at January 16, 2014 02:06 PM (SY2Kh)

38 It's not easy...ah, you know.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at January 16, 2014 02:06 PM (yh0zB)

39 From the Trentonian. The man is definitely an AoS reader:

"The Â“Swiss cheese pervertÂ” rose to notoriety through numerous reports of a sometimes pants-less man driving up to women, dangling a piece of Swiss cheese and offering them money to watch or perform sex acts featuring the dairy product."

And this line, which may be my favorite:

"PaganoÂ’s arrest suggests that his story of denial was full of holes."

Posted by: DangerGirl at January 16, 2014 02:06 PM (GrtrJ)

40 Ya wanna know the real reason why there's a Velveeta shortage?

Just check out my closet

Posted by: Chris Pagano at January 16, 2014 02:06 PM (cnS/d)

41 Wonder how many women it actually worked on?

Posted by: NCKate at January 16, 2014 02:06 PM (x6fKj)

42
Pagano? Doesn't this guy coach the Colts?

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 16, 2014 02:06 PM (n0DEs)

43 As I posted yesterday,what law did he actually break? Lewd mopery. Molestation of a Dairy Product. And solicitation of prostitution. He offered to pay for pleasure.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at January 16, 2014 02:06 PM (P7Wsr)

44 I have it! Ham and cheese!

Posted by: Mallfly at January 16, 2014 02:06 PM (bJm7W)

45 "Christopher Pagano" Damn degos and their cheese. I keed, I keed....I am one.

Posted by: [/i][/b][/u][/s] Tami at January 16, 2014 02:06 PM (bCEmE)

46 The Emmentaler Emissionist is taken, ladies! However, the Limberger Limp Dick is still out thereÂ…

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at January 16, 2014 02:07 PM (HsTG8)

47 99 holes and a bitch ain't one.

Posted by: Jay Z Cheeseman at January 16, 2014 02:07 PM (RJMhd)

48 Well,the prison population may have some fun with him.

Posted by: steevy at January 16, 2014 02:07 PM (zqvg6)

49 Hey!

Posted by: Cheese Balls at January 16, 2014 02:08 PM (xtby2)

50 The dude was till working with cheddar, that's his crime.

Posted by: Dr Spank at January 16, 2014 02:08 PM (DpEwG)

51 Chee-burger!

Posted by: --- at January 16, 2014 02:08 PM (MMC8r)

52 STILL!

Posted by: Dr Spank at January 16, 2014 02:08 PM (DpEwG)

53 the law of Being Awesome

Posted by: ace at January 16, 2014 06:02 PM (/FnUH)

If he got paid for it he could join the infamous Sex-For-Money Skankathon.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at January 16, 2014 02:09 PM (yh0zB)

54 You sick monkey!

Posted by: couch fuckers at January 16, 2014 02:09 PM (xXhgd)

55 I would think you'd want a wheel and not just a slice? Unless this is like the cheese-fucker's, 'Just the Tip'.

Posted by: garrett at January 16, 2014 02:09 PM (UHS5k)

56
Are you cheeseworthy?

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 16, 2014 02:09 PM (n0DEs)

57 What will they ban next? Saltpeter?

Posted by: GnuBreedowitz at January 16, 2014 02:09 PM (cHZB7)

58 As a child he was molested at a Swiss Colony.

Posted by: --- at January 16, 2014 02:09 PM (MMC8r)

59 Hey baby, wanna check out my cheese balls?

Posted by: Chris Pagano at January 16, 2014 02:09 PM (cnS/d)

60 For a Gouda time call 555-6969 I'll put holes in your cheddar even.

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 16, 2014 02:09 PM (C3Wjb)

61 CHEDDARHEAD

Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich at January 16, 2014 02:09 PM (KgN8K)

62 Does Henry Waxman have a fat ass brother?

Posted by: NCKate at January 16, 2014 02:09 PM (x6fKj)

63 DairySexuals In America: The Love That Dare Not Speak It's Name

Posted by: noone, really [/i] [/b] at January 16, 2014 02:09 PM (5ikDv)

64 Admit it, men. Some of you will be sneaking into the kitchen tonight, and it won't be for a midnight snack!

Posted by: BurtTC at January 16, 2014 02:09 PM (BeSEI)

65 "You got my Cheese-Whiz boy?" Discuss the back-story to that famous line...

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at January 16, 2014 02:10 PM (vHRtU)

66 1. Is he offering to pay? 2. If so, how much?

Posted by: Dr. Schlomo Pugberg at January 16, 2014 02:10 PM (Qev5V)

67 His alibi had holes in it. Haha after an absolutely shitty day. This piece of writing is awesome. Thanks Ace

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at January 16, 2014 02:10 PM (HVff2)

Well at least this guy was up front with everyone. (please let this copy paste not put me in the barrel)

Here is the message that Chest says Pagano sent her via OkCupid:

Hello, my name is Chris. I am sure you are seeking a relationship, and I am sort of seeking the same, well sort of. You see I am currently content with my life. I enjoy meeting new people and making friends, but I also enjoy looking for women who are just looking for fun, opportunities, and or sex. I am kind of hoping you may be one of those women, who are open to certain activities of a suggestive nature. I realize talking and or requesting anything sexual with a someone you donÂ’t know can be a turn off for most, but would you be interested in getting to know me, and perhaps being involved in a sexual encounter together?

I know itÂ’s a bit much to take in, since you really donÂ’t know me. Still I am open to get to know you at first before anything would happen. I want to be up-front with you and tell you what exactly I am looking for. This way you have an idea of what I am into. You see itÂ’s not sex in the traditional sense, itÂ’s more a fetish. DonÂ’t get me wrong I do enjoy traditional sex, but I grown to prefer this more. This fetish is a Sitophilia type fetish. I will give you a short explanation that lead me to discover why I like this type of fetish.

You see, when I was young and even now I seemed to be judged on my looks and not on my personality. So finding women and starting relationships was harder for me then most. Couple that with a strong sex drive, and you get the picture. So I developed this fetish to help me deal with my sexual urges. I found that women tend to like dairy products, and settled on cheese to represent the girl. thus I started having sex with cheese. I like to use Swiss cheese and would wrap slices of the cheese around penis, then masturbate. Now tho, after finding several girls to do it for me, I prefer having girls do it for me, instead of myself. Still I suppose I was lucky in finding those women, and our relationships did not last long, since our relationship based more on my fetish and me helping them out money wise. When they became comfortable again, we stayed friends, but they seemed to move on with their lives or I moved on because of the drama that sometimes followed some of them. The other problem I encounter is that women tend to be more freaked out over my fetish, then they would be over other questionable activities that are far more disgusting then mine. I donÂ’t understand why using cheese in the way I use it is so disturbing to women, the ones who have done my fetish for me say itÂ’s quite vanilla compared to so things they have encountered, and say I am quite harmless given my kind personality.

So my request is, is there any way you would be willing to strike up an arraignment with me to do my fetish for me, if of course you would be open to this sort of activity?

Lastly if I have offended you, I am sorry as it was not my intention to do so. I just hope my fetish with cheese does not disturb you in any way, sorry if it has. Also when I mention arrangement, please donÂ’t think it just has to be money either, I know you are not a prostitute, in fact I donÂ’t want women like that at all. It can be anything you feel is a fair trade. Please if you could please let me know if you might be interested or not, and what you think of my request, I would appreciate it, thanks.

Posted by: DangerGirl at January 16, 2014 02:10 PM (GrtrJ)

69 DA charges: Assault with intent of a cheese hole.

Overheard from Witness: He has his whey with that woman!

Posted by: PotHeadPaulie at January 16, 2014 02:11 PM (RHBWt)

70 And minnfidel ties it together.

Posted by: Ben Rothlesberger at January 16, 2014 02:11 PM (UHS5k)

71 All I have in the house is American cheese singles.

Posted by: steevy at January 16, 2014 02:11 PM (zqvg6)

72 I would think you'd want a wheel and not just a slice?

Unless this is like the cheese-fucker's, 'Just the Tip'.

Posted by: garrett at January 16, 2014 06:09 PM (UHS5k)

roflmao

Posted by: Peaches at January 16, 2014 02:11 PM (8lmkt)

73 Hey Miss Peaches! To answer your question from the previous thread re: the lady that does my eyebrows...she use to be an illustrator for Disney. She sustained an injury to her drawing hand and had to quit. She does paintings, very beautiful paintings. And she is an outcast because of her religion.

Posted by: I Be That Chick at January 16, 2014 02:11 PM (vf3VJ)

74 What will they ban next? Saltpeter? Isn't that supposed to reduce stiffies?

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at January 16, 2014 02:11 PM (P7Wsr)

75 Let he who hath not lain with a grilled cheese sandwich throw the first stone.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at January 16, 2014 02:11 PM (SY2Kh)

76 I really like Swiss Cheese, so it's painful to me to know someone is raping it.

Posted by: Dr. Schlomo Pugberg at January 16, 2014 02:11 PM (Qev5V)

77 Real fake numbers? The deuce you say!

Posted by: BR-549 at January 16, 2014 02:11 PM (BAS5M)

78 The world made safe for cheese once again.

Posted by: dogfish at January 16, 2014 02:12 PM (nsOJa)

79 Hey baby, you okay with the idea of a threesome? Cause I got this bitchin' cheese log...

Posted by: Chris Pagano at January 16, 2014 02:12 PM (cnS/d)

80 This guy has game.

Posted by: Best, Mike at January 16, 2014 02:12 PM (UHS5k)

81 Isn't that supposed to reduce stiffs? OhÂ….it does more than reduce them.

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/s][/u][/b] at January 16, 2014 02:12 PM (yz6yg)

82 Portnoy's Cheese...

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at January 16, 2014 02:12 PM (vHRtU)

83 So my request is, is there any way you would be willing to strike up
an arraignment

DG, I was all for sending you to the barrel until I read that hilarious sentence.

Posted by: Peaches at January 16, 2014 02:12 PM (8lmkt)

84 Are we not allowed to have sex with any food product now or is just cheese that is verboten? Because if I warm roast beef is out then I'm not sure I want to go on living.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 16, 2014 02:13 PM (g1DWB)

85 Ace, FYI the picture above is cropped. Have you seen the full shot? HILARIOUS.

Posted by: DangerGirl at January 16, 2014 02:13 PM (GrtrJ)

86 Oh, by the way, Moochie ambled on back to DC yesterday after a 24 day vacay. All Americans should have this same opportunity. Get right on that Mr. President, please. http://bit.ly/1atA4TI

Posted by: MTF at January 16, 2014 02:13 PM (F58x4)

87 I thought that we weren't supposed to discuss wedge issues?

Posted by: Blue cheese Hen at January 16, 2014 02:13 PM (jF4cW)

88 From the article.........."A few years ago he walked up to a couple friends of mine and asked them to help him with the cheese. Then pulled down his pants.Â” >........I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 16, 2014 02:13 PM (C3Wjb)

Pleasuring himself with cheese? ...Would that be Cheese Head?

Posted by: wheatie at January 16, 2014 02:13 PM (wUr+i)

90 It's a good thing they nabbed him before he escalated his behavior to pepperjack.

Posted by: filbert at January 16, 2014 02:13 PM (2gjPx)

91 > And she is an outcast because of her religion. She's not Jewish?

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at January 16, 2014 02:13 PM (vHRtU)

92 Christopher never pleasures himself with Jack cheese because that would be gay.

Posted by: Fritz at January 16, 2014 02:13 PM (UzPAd)

93 I hope he washes afterwards. Otherwise, his dick must stink.

Posted by: Dr. Schlomo Pugberg at January 16, 2014 02:14 PM (Qev5V)

94 Posted by: DangerGirl at January 16, 2014 06:10 PM (GrtrJ) StillÂ….barrel

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/s][/u][/b] at January 16, 2014 02:14 PM (yz6yg)

95 Overheard on the police bands just before LEOs took him into custody - The cheese stands alone! The cheese stands alone!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at January 16, 2014 02:14 PM (HsTG8)

96 555-CHEZ

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at January 16, 2014 02:14 PM (m2Izr)

97 He is correct that there are even more disgusting fetishes out there.

Posted by: steevy at January 16, 2014 02:14 PM (zqvg6)

98 Th-th-th-tha-tha-tha-that's all, folks!

Posted by: Warner Bros. at January 16, 2014 02:14 PM (8ZskC)

99 86 Ace, FYI the picture above is cropped. Have you seen the full shot? HILARIOUS. Posted by: DangerGirl at January 16, 2014 06:13 PM (GrtrJ) ********** \ Oh gawd no.

Posted by: Jay Z Cheeseman at January 16, 2014 02:14 PM (RJMhd)

100 Which congressional district does he represent?

Posted by: --- at January 16, 2014 02:14 PM (MMC8r)

101 StillÂ….barrel

Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 16, 2014 06:14 PM (yz6yg)

*hangs head and shuffles off*

Posted by: DangerGirl at January 16, 2014 02:14 PM (GrtrJ)

102 At lease he's not shoving it up his ass.

Posted by: Dr. Schlomo Pugberg at January 16, 2014 02:15 PM (Qev5V)

103 Call me, Ace. 867-5309

Posted by: Jenny at January 16, 2014 02:15 PM (8ZskC)

104 74

Hey, IBTC!! Sorry about your friend, I was just snarking off. As is my wont. I'm all giddy with this amazing weather we're having. Bad, bad fire out in Glendora, though. Thanks to the fuckin' loser assholes who caused it.

Posted by: Peaches at January 16, 2014 02:15 PM (8lmkt)

105 Seriously you guys, this isn't funny.

Posted by: Chester the Cheetos Cheetah at January 16, 2014 02:15 PM (SY2Kh)

106 What a Muenster!

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 16, 2014 02:15 PM (C3Wjb)

107 Please if you could please let me know if you might be
interested or not, and what you think of my request, I would appreciate
it, thanks. Posted by: DangerGirl

[caveat DangerGirl didn't write the excerpt]

It reads like a form letter. The local deli must've looooved that guy.

Posted by: mrp at January 16, 2014 02:15 PM (HjPtV)

108 Posted by: DangerGirl at January 16, 2014 06:10 PM (GrtrJ) Way too much fucking information. Hello looney bin. That fucker is queaky

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at January 16, 2014 02:15 PM (HVff2)

109 *hangs head and shuffles off* Posted by: DangerGirl at January 16, 2014 06:14 PM (GrtrJ) Here, take this wheel of Brie with you.

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/s][/u][/b] at January 16, 2014 02:15 PM (yz6yg)

110 Ooh baby, you are looking so hot tonight.

Posted by: Sen. Reid at government cheese warehouse. at January 16, 2014 02:15 PM (nsOJa)

111 It would have saved this guy a lot of trouble if he'd just used pantysgawn cheese.

(There is too such a thing! I found it on Wikipedia!)

Posted by: filbert at January 16, 2014 02:16 PM (2gjPx)

112 Fuck. That's my dad!

Posted by: Babybel at January 16, 2014 02:16 PM (8ZskC)

113 Reggie likes it when I put Cheeze-Whiz up my pee hole...

Posted by: POTUS Cheese-Load at January 16, 2014 02:16 PM (vHRtU)

114 He should have tried me first..

Posted by: Easy Cheese at January 16, 2014 02:16 PM (RJMhd)

115 88 I thought that we weren't supposed to discuss wedge issues? Posted by: Blue cheese Hen at January 16, 2014 06:13 PM (jF4cW) That rule went Oh You Tee with the death by atomic wedgie articleÂ…

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at January 16, 2014 02:16 PM (HsTG8)

116 I mean c'mon, who *doesn't* like to fuck a nice hot piece of Swiss after a long day cruising around with your pants down?

Posted by: Chris Pagano at January 16, 2014 02:16 PM (cnS/d)

117 Here's the full shot. SFW pretty much.

http://tinyurl.com/nxvfxqd

Posted by: DangerGirl at January 16, 2014 02:16 PM (GrtrJ)

118 "I like to use Swiss cheese and would wrap slices of the cheese around penis, then masturbate"

Go on......

Posted by: Dr Spank at January 16, 2014 02:16 PM (DpEwG)

119 How would you like to have this guy rinding up against you on the dance floor, ladies?

Posted by: garrett at January 16, 2014 02:17 PM (UHS5k)

120 queaky Queer + freaky?

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at January 16, 2014 02:17 PM (P7Wsr)

121 At lease he's not shoving it up his ass.

Well, masturbating with Swiss cheese is only one of my fetishes...

Posted by: Chris Pagano at January 16, 2014 02:17 PM (cnS/d)

122 Here's the full shot. SFW pretty much.

http://tinyurl.com/nxvfxqd

oh, gack!!!!

Posted by: Peaches at January 16, 2014 02:18 PM (8lmkt)

123 120 How would you like to have this guy rinding up against you on the dance floor, ladies?

Posted by: garrett at January 16, 2014 06:17 PM (UHS5k)

I bet he smells funny.

Posted by: DangerGirl at January 16, 2014 02:18 PM (GrtrJ)

124 118 Here's the full shot. SFW pretty much. http://tinyurl.com/nxvfxqd Posted by: DangerGirl at January 16, 2014 06:16 PM (GrtrJ) That's awful. And illegal.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Irish at January 16, 2014 02:18 PM (GEICT)

125 Ever try to get Brie out of a penis pump?

Posted by: Christopher Pagano at January 16, 2014 02:18 PM (8ZskC)

126 oh, gack!!!!

Posted by: Peaches at January 16, 2014 06:18 PM (8lmkt)

OK now I deserve the barrel.

Posted by: DangerGirl at January 16, 2014 02:18 PM (GrtrJ)

127 At lease he's not shoving it up his ass. You know what Summer Sausage is forÂ…right?

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/s][/u][/b] at January 16, 2014 02:18 PM (yz6yg)

128 His favorite book.... Who Moved The Cheese.

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 16, 2014 02:18 PM (C3Wjb)

129 re 69: he could have made a living writer stuff for "Penthouse Letters" or John Waters.

Posted by: Mallfly at January 16, 2014 02:18 PM (bJm7W)

130 If he's religious, he wouldn't have stigmata, he'd have SMEGMATA! Thank you, thank you; please tip your waitrons; and try the mulled wine it's delicious!

Posted by: POTUS Cheese-Load at January 16, 2014 02:19 PM (vHRtU)

131 Here's the full shot. SFW pretty much.

http://tinyurl.com/nxvfxqd

Posted by: DangerGirl at January 16, 2014 06:16 PM (GrtrJ)

---------------

Oh my. He's not very ..... appealing. Not at all.

Poor man. He's got some issues. Probably lonely as heck too.

Posted by: grammie winger at January 16, 2014 02:19 PM (P6QsQ)

132 This guy's a FREAK!

Posted by: Andrew Mendoza and His Bucket at January 16, 2014 02:19 PM (8ZskC)

133 I bet he smells funny. He twerks funny too.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at January 16, 2014 02:19 PM (P7Wsr)

134 >>At lease he's not shoving it up his ass. String Cheese.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 16, 2014 02:19 PM (g1DWB)

135 Here's the full shot. SFW pretty much.

http://tinyurl.com/nxvfxqd

Posted by: DangerGirl at January 16, 2014 06:16 PM (GrtrJ)

*gouges eyes out with fork*

why do I do these things to myself when I really do know better...

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at January 16, 2014 02:19 PM (yh0zB)

136 Hump The Cheese : The Chris Pagano Story

Posted by: Amazon Book List [/i] [/b] at January 16, 2014 02:19 PM (5ikDv)

137 True Fact : He had to switch to Alpine Lace because he found the Jarlsberg too Roumy.

Posted by: garrett at January 16, 2014 02:19 PM (UHS5k)

138 Call me, Chris Pagano. I'm a saucy little number.

Posted by: Al Fredo at January 16, 2014 02:19 PM (BAS5M)

139 He TOTALLY does not look like I would have imagined....

heh

Posted by: Sven 10077 at January 16, 2014 02:19 PM (TE35l)

140 Dear Penthouse:
It all began with that one fateful trip to Wisconsin...

Posted by: Chris Pagano at January 16, 2014 02:20 PM (cnS/d)

141 Dogs must love him. Always sniffing his crotch.

Posted by: Dr. Schlomo Pugberg at January 16, 2014 02:20 PM (Qev5V)

142 Show me where the bad man touched the gorgonzola

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at January 16, 2014 02:20 PM (AskuI)

143 Oh, I see. So, Fat Bastard is actually based on a real, live character.

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Rounding Error Extraordinaire at January 16, 2014 02:20 PM (oRpha)

144 That photo cracks me up. It's worth the barrel.

"Here's my cheese. Here's my sausage! HEY LAAAADIEEEESSS!"

Posted by: DangerGirl at January 16, 2014 02:20 PM (GrtrJ)

145 You know what Summer Sausage is forÂ…right? Dammit. One of my favorite meals ruined. Smoked cheddar + beef summer sausage.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at January 16, 2014 02:20 PM (P7Wsr)

146 Dammit dammit dammit. Rule #1. I should have remembered.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Irish at January 16, 2014 02:20 PM (GEICT)

147 *Resolves to use the insult 'cheesedick' more often*

Posted by: GnuBreedowitz at January 16, 2014 02:20 PM (cHZB7)

148 OK now I deserve the barrel.

Posted by: DangerGirl at January 16, 2014 06:18 PM (GrtrJ)

yes you do.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at January 16, 2014 02:20 PM (yh0zB)

149 DairySexuals In America: The Love That Dare Not Speak It's Name

Posted by: noone, really at January 16, 2014 06:09 PM (5ikDv)

------------------------------------------

That's cis-dairysexual, you cretin.

Posted by: LGBT at January 16, 2014 02:21 PM (SneYa)

150 He would climax anytime he got near a Ritz Cracker.

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 16, 2014 02:21 PM (C3Wjb)

151 118 Here's the full shot. SFW pretty much. http://tinyurl.com/nxvfxqd Posted by: DangerGirl at January 16, 2014 06:16 PM (GrtrJ) So, he's a Cowboys' fan? That figures...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at January 16, 2014 02:21 PM (HsTG8)

152 Hey, baby, want to taste my hollandaise?

Posted by: --- at January 16, 2014 02:21 PM (MMC8r)

153 anyway, I posted this earlier, might make some of you feel better (that's better, not butter)

http://tinyurl.com/pyf2xol

no, it's not Oliver Willis

Posted by: Mallfly at January 16, 2014 02:21 PM (bJm7W)

154 Ohhhhh. So Thhhhhhaaaat's why they call them the 'Packers'

Posted by: Blue cheese Hen at January 16, 2014 02:21 PM (jF4cW)

155 Daffy Duck was supposed to be his lookout.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 16, 2014 02:21 PM (8ZskC)

156 >>> Which congressional district does he represent? I lol'd

Posted by: fluffy at January 16, 2014 02:21 PM (Ua6T/)

157 Hey, would you Halloumi for $50?

Posted by: Chris Pagano at January 16, 2014 02:21 PM (UHS5k)

158 Smoked cheddar + beef summer sausage.

After I get done with the cheddar, damn straight it's smokin'....

And the summer sausage? Yeah not gonna say what happened to it.

Posted by: Chris Pagano at January 16, 2014 02:22 PM (cnS/d)

159 Cheeseporker: One Dairysexual's Journey Through Lactose Lust

Posted by: Amazon Book List [/i] [/b] at January 16, 2014 02:22 PM (5ikDv)

160

Hey, do you really think those French chicks went for duck face Hollande just because he's powerful and rich? Hell, no, he stuffs a wheel of Brie down his pants when he goes on dates.

Waving a piece of Sargento around like this schub did just doesn't have the same savoir faire.

I'm really surprised nobody has tried this in Wisconsin.

Posted by: Donna V at January 16, 2014 02:22 PM (R3gO3)

161 Hey, IBTC!! Sorry about your friend, I was just snarking off. As is my wont. I'm all giddy with this amazing weather we're having. Bad, bad fire out in Glendora, though. Thanks to the fuckin' loser assholes who caused it. Posted by: Peaches at January 16, 2014 06:15 PM (8lmkt) We can thank the stupid environmentalists for not letting the dry brush be cleared when it needs to be. My dad lives in Yorba Linda and they had that bad fire in late 2008. Same thing...brush needs to be cleared, but the environmentalists come out of the wood work and cry. And what is with these asshats and campfires, especially in these conditions?

Posted by: I Be That Chick at January 16, 2014 02:22 PM (vf3VJ)

162 The guy had to have some serious Danish Blue Balls to be this brazen.

Posted by: garrett at January 16, 2014 02:22 PM (UHS5k)

163 All I have in the house is American cheese singles. Posted by: steevy Try it, you'll like it!

Posted by: Chris Pagano at January 16, 2014 02:22 PM (eBupg)

164 Wisconsin is For Lovers

Posted by: Christopher Pagano at January 16, 2014 02:23 PM (8ZskC)

165 ...and that's the sad tale of how Chicken Parmesan was born.

Posted by: The Chicken at January 16, 2014 02:23 PM (SY2Kh)

166 150 -

Hey, get it right!

Posted by: LGBTQC at January 16, 2014 02:23 PM (BeSEI)

167 > I'm really surprised nobody has tried this in Wisconsin. Oh they have, they have. Or so I've heard...

Posted by: POTUS Cheese-Load at January 16, 2014 02:23 PM (vHRtU)

168 You do realize Swiss cheese perverts are a natural and predictable outgrowth of our fallen culture's tolerance for wine drinkers.

Posted by: mugiwara at January 16, 2014 02:23 PM (3a584)

169 And what is with these asshats and campfires, especially in these conditions?

They were "transients," IBTC. Too bad they didn't burn up in the fire, now they'll be costing taxpayer dollars. I'm sorry, is that mean?

Posted by: Peaches at January 16, 2014 02:24 PM (8lmkt)

170 Cheese? Why didn't I think of that?

Posted by: Elliot Spitzer at January 16, 2014 02:24 PM (MMC8r)

171 51 Shades of Brie

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 16, 2014 02:24 PM (C3Wjb)

172 http://tinyurl.com/pyf2xol

no, it's not Oliver Willis

Posted by: Mallfly at January 16, 2014 06:21 PM (bJm7W)

bless you...

Y'know, there aren't nearly enough redheads in cheerleading.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at January 16, 2014 02:25 PM (yh0zB)

173 Poor man. He's got some issues. Probably lonely as heck too. Posted by: grammie winger at January 16, 2014 06:19 PM (P6QsQ) Unquestionably.

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Rounding Error Extraordinaire at January 16, 2014 02:25 PM (oRpha)

174 Well, I hope he at least used a condiment.

Posted by: --- at January 16, 2014 02:25 PM (MMC8r)

175 Well I guess I know what I won't be having for a snack tonight. Blech.

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 16, 2014 02:26 PM (C3Wjb)

176 Slated for Summer release:

Dude, Where's My Gouda?
The Christopher Pagano Story

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 16, 2014 02:26 PM (8ZskC)

177 You do realize Swiss cheese perverts are a natural and predictable outgrowth of our fallen culture's tolerance for wine drinkers. A trash bin full of wine bottles is soooo much classier than a trash bin full of crushed beer cans.

Posted by: San Franciso Smuggier than Thou[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at January 16, 2014 02:26 PM (P7Wsr)

178 If you have money for cheese you have money for hookers with cheese. Get a room, brie-boy.

Posted by: POTUS Cheese-Load at January 16, 2014 02:26 PM (vHRtU)

179 I hope he at least used a condiment Fantastic.

Posted by: garrett at January 16, 2014 02:26 PM (UHS5k)

180

"I donÂ’t understand why using cheese in the way I use it is so disturbing to women."

Disturbing? What's disturbing about it?

Posted by: Ladies in Green Bay at January 16, 2014 02:27 PM (R3gO3)

181 no, it's not Oliver Willis True. No one has actually caught Oliver Willis with his pant down ... and a slice of cheese ... in a car ... and snapped a photo ...

Posted by: Adriane... at January 16, 2014 02:27 PM (hrU8o)

182 I know that guy!

Posted by: Laughing Cow at January 16, 2014 02:27 PM (UHS5k)

183 He must be from northern Iraq. Definitely looks Kurdish to me.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at January 16, 2014 02:27 PM (SY2Kh)

184 >>Well, I hope he at least used a condiment. I'm sure there was lots of miracle whip.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 16, 2014 02:27 PM (g1DWB)

185 Romeo and Gorgonzola

Posted by: Jay Z Cheeseman at January 16, 2014 02:28 PM (RJMhd)

186 This guy is a Provaloner.

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 16, 2014 02:28 PM (C3Wjb)

187 So gay people are basically just lactose intolerant?

Posted by: Liberty Lover at January 16, 2014 02:28 PM (sifpf)

188 It's impossible to peruse Wikipedia articles discussing cheeses now without smiling, or guffawing openly at the descriptions therein.

For instance:

"Sbrinz is an extra hard full fat cheese. It contains approximately 40% to 45% of fat when dry. The cheese must ripen for 16 months before it can be sold as Sbrinz, and the full flavour only develops after about 24Â–30 months in storage."

Note to the prosecutor/judge: I've got an idea for the Cheese-fapper's sentence (should he of course be found guilty, we all know he's emmental until proven gouda.)

Posted by: filbert at January 16, 2014 02:28 PM (2gjPx)

189 183 no, it's not Oliver Willis True. No one has actually caught Oliver Willis with his pant down ... and a slice of cheese ... in a car ... and snapped a photo ... Posted by: Adriane... at January 16, 2014 06:27 PM (hrU8o) Could beÂ… if he used a Dudeskin.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at January 16, 2014 02:28 PM (HsTG8)

190 I'll bet he can get squirrels to lick his nuts, those little fuckers love cheese.

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at January 16, 2014 02:28 PM (vHRtU)

191 180 If you have money for cheese you have money for hookers with cheese. Get a room, brie-boy.

Posted by: POTUS Cheese-Load at January 16, 2014 06:26 PM (vHRtU)

The poor thing couldn't even do that right. He'd been arrested twice previously for solicitation of prostitution.

Posted by: DangerGirl at January 16, 2014 02:29 PM (GrtrJ)

192 This isn't really much of a Ye Olde Cheese Shop, now is it?

Posted by: Chris Pagano as John Cleese at January 16, 2014 02:29 PM (BAS5M)

193 There was a guy who posted yesterday and said the guy followed his daughter, twice, in his car, trying to block her car. He said it was scared, not funny

Posted by: Thunderb at January 16, 2014 02:29 PM (zOTsN)

194 http://tinyurl.com/ow6zqq8

//OT Breitbart-Obama's Benghazi Timeline...

Posted by: Sven 10077 at January 16, 2014 02:29 PM (TE35l)

195 Beat This And The Butterman

Posted by: Jay Z Cheeseman at January 16, 2014 02:30 PM (RJMhd)

196 An Homage To Fromage, By Chris Pagano......

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 16, 2014 02:30 PM (C3Wjb)

197 195 Thunderb at January 16, 2014 06:29 PM (zOTsN)

It's funny if you have a taser

Posted by: Sven 10077 at January 16, 2014 02:30 PM (TE35l)

198 37 "I started to compare girls to cheese due to their milky complections [sic], girls are soft, smooth feeling and tend to like dairy products more," the message read. "That and typical advertising, always using a girl to advertise dairy products. So cheese is what I started to use as a replacement for having sex with girls." I was just telling the guys at the bar that, I had the same problem with Coconut Creme Pies. Damn you, Mary Ann.

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Rounding Error Extraordinaire at January 16, 2014 02:30 PM (oRpha)

199 in prison, he'll be working in the kitchen

Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich at January 16, 2014 02:30 PM (KgN8K)

200 There was a guy who posted yesterday and said the guy followed his daughter, twice, in his car, trying to block her car. He said it was scared, not funny She going Paleo?

Posted by: Laughing Cow at January 16, 2014 02:30 PM (UHS5k)

201 Yeah, wearing a wedge of cheese on your head is part of the traditional Wisconsin courting ritual. "Rubbing the wedges" is like Eskimos rubbing noses.

Posted by: mrp at January 16, 2014 02:30 PM (HjPtV)

202 You have to admit, it's a step up from having sex with a toaster.

Posted by: Donna V. at January 16, 2014 02:31 PM (R3gO3)

203 in prison, he'll be working in the kitchen

Let's think about this for a second . . .

Posted by: every single inmate he may be in with at January 16, 2014 02:31 PM (2gjPx)

204 It puts the edam on it's skin, Or else it gets the hose again!

Posted by: --- at January 16, 2014 02:32 PM (MMC8r)

205 Slippery Slice of Heaven: My Approach to the Trifecta

by Christopher Pagano

Posted by: Amazon Book List [/i] [/b] at January 16, 2014 02:32 PM (5ikDv)

206 So yer drivin' down the road, and this other car comes up beside you and so now the two of you are driving down the street. One of you waving his cheese, the other taking a picture.

ok ok. wait. you're sitting at a stop light, and you look over to the other car, point your smart phone camera at the guy and yell, "Show me your Cheese."

Posted by: Weston G. Merrous at January 16, 2014 02:32 PM (ijDIW)

207 You have to admit, it's a step up from having sex with a toaster. Posted by: Donna V. at January 16, 2014 06:31 PM .........Hey, fuck you Lady!

Posted by: The Toaster at January 16, 2014 02:32 PM (C3Wjb)

208 Poor man. He's got some issues. Probably lonely as heck too. First clue?

Posted by: rickb223 at January 16, 2014 02:32 PM (cUARf)

209 Probably lonely as heck too. *** Puhleeze. There are perverts and rapists who leave the bed of their spouse to commit their crimes. Issues, yes, but the extent of my pity extends to his victims.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 16, 2014 02:33 PM (DmNpO)

210 Cheese: Harmless you say?

Posted by: fb at January 16, 2014 02:33 PM (JVEmw)

211 So, is fucking cheese above or below fucking a couch on the Moron Horde Sexual Deviancy Hierarchy?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Irish at January 16, 2014 02:33 PM (GEICT)

212 Over the years, a lot of people have fucked a lot of things on this blog. Sofas, Dogs, Horses, Appliances, Longbows... the list is almost endless.

Posted by: garrett at January 16, 2014 02:33 PM (UHS5k)

213 The guy'd be a garden-variety perv if not for the creative details.

Posted by: --- at January 16, 2014 02:33 PM (MMC8r)

214
Sounds like someone's unclear on the concept of head cheese.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 16, 2014 02:33 PM (TIIx5)

215 I'm glad they caught him quickly and saved the taxpayers money. Think of all the man-hours the cops would have spent on cheese steak outs.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at January 16, 2014 02:34 PM (nZiT2)

216 How come nobody wants to touch the 555 phone number topic?

Posted by: filbert at January 16, 2014 02:34 PM (2gjPx)

217 >>You have to admit, it's a step up from having sex with a toaster. You know nothing of the deep emotional bond between a man and his toaster.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 16, 2014 02:34 PM (g1DWB)

218 That is mean to paste a pig head on top of the guy's real body.

Posted by: Paranoidgirlinseattle at January 16, 2014 02:34 PM (RZ8pf)

219 He's like a ginger Bob Beckel.

Posted by: --- at January 16, 2014 02:34 PM (MMC8r)

220 Trolling for a fromage a trois?

Posted by: Lincolntf at January 16, 2014 02:34 PM (ZshNr)

221 Billy Pepper Jack

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 16, 2014 02:34 PM (8ZskC)

222 Bries I think that I shall never see A poem lovely as some brie. A brie whose hungry mouth is prest Against my ample, jiggling brest; A brie that rubs my junk all day, And lifts her crumbly arms to pray; A brie that may in summer wear My sweaty shorts in her hair; Upon whose bosom I have lain; Who intimately touched my wang. Brie is made by fools like me, But only the French can make a brie.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at January 16, 2014 02:34 PM (P7Wsr)

223 I'm really cheesed off that I didn't find this thread sooner.

Posted by: Y-not at January 16, 2014 02:34 PM (zDsvJ)

224 Sofas, Dogs, Horses, Appliances, Longbows...

the list is almost endless.

Posted by: garrett at January 16, 2014 06:33 PM (UHS5k)

chainsaws...

what? It was just once.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at January 16, 2014 02:34 PM (yh0zB)

225 218 How come nobody wants to touch the 555 phone number topic?

Posted by: filbert at January 16, 2014 06:34 PM (2gjPx)

Just can't compete with a cheesefucker.

Posted by: DangerGirl at January 16, 2014 02:35 PM (GrtrJ)

226 204 Donna V. at January 16, 2014 06:31 PM (R3gO3)

Depends on the toaster ma'am...

//Helo

Posted by: Sven 10077 at January 16, 2014 02:35 PM (TE35l)

227 Q: What's brown and has holes in it? A: Swiss shit

Posted by: logprof at January 16, 2014 02:35 PM (X3GkB)

228 Probably lonely as heck too.........He was a Provaloner.

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 16, 2014 02:35 PM (C3Wjb)

229 So, is fucking cheese above or below fucking a couch on the Moron Horde Sexual Deviancy Hierarchy?

It's not as if combining the two is not--theoretically, mind you--beyond the realm of possibility.

Posted by: filbert at January 16, 2014 02:35 PM (2gjPx)

230 It STARTS with cheese fucking but can rapidly escalate to lobster bisque bondage and then injecting your rectal venous plexus with caviar puree... Cheese. It's a gateway drug.

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at January 16, 2014 02:35 PM (vHRtU)

231 What the hell is that deal with cheese--graters anyone remember that?

Posted by: Jay Z Cheeseman at January 16, 2014 02:36 PM (RJMhd)

232 214 -

Don't forget the "Kony 2012" guy... he ended making love to the sidewalk, as I recall.

Posted by: BurtTC at January 16, 2014 02:36 PM (BeSEI)

233 Hey, anyone know if the Koch Brothers own any dairies? Just doing some research for tonight's show.

Posted by: Rachel Maddow at January 16, 2014 02:36 PM (2jQGY)

234 My favorite feel-good story of the day.

Posted by: The chicken at January 16, 2014 02:36 PM (8lmkt)

235 the list is almost endless. Posted by: garrett at January 16, 2014 06:33 PM........Hobo's. Ewoks.

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 16, 2014 02:36 PM (C3Wjb)

236 205 in prison, he'll be working in the kitchen

Let's think about this for a second . . .
Posted by: every single inmate he may be in with

I saw what you did there.

I haven't got any cheesy cliches. Other than it is better with cheddar. And in WI, all he would need to do is squeak some curds, just sayin.

Posted by: Penfold at January 16, 2014 02:36 PM (Fbt5B)

237 I actually do know a guy that looks a lot like this guy. But + pants - cheese.

Posted by: --- at January 16, 2014 02:36 PM (MMC8r)

238 377 My daughter was followed home twice by the cheese pervert. Not funny at all; it was late at night on a relatively deserted stretch of road as she was coming back from work. He would not let her change lanes; would accelerate when she did; brake sharply when she did, etc. She was understandably terrified and was preparing to drive to the police station when he turned off the road. If anyone is from Philly, this was on Henry Ave. in Roxborough, by the agricultural school and Fairmount Park. Posted by: RigelDog

Posted by: Thunderb at January 16, 2014 02:37 PM (zOTsN)

239 It's not as if combining the two is not--theoretically, mind you--beyond the realm of possibility. Posted by: filbert at January 16, 2014 06:35 PM (2gjPx) -------------------------- It STARTS with cheese fucking but can rapidly escalate to lobster bisque bondage and then injecting your rectal venous plexus with caviar puree... Cheese. It's a gateway drug. Posted by: OG Celtic-American at January 16, 2014 06:35 PM (vHRtU) There's just something wrong with you people. Hilarious, but wrong.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Irish at January 16, 2014 02:37 PM (GEICT)

240 And then there's the falafel. In the shower.

Posted by: Jay Z Cheeseman at January 16, 2014 02:37 PM (RJMhd)

241 Edited: Bries I think that I shall never see A poem lovely as some brie. A brie whose hungry mouth is prest Against my ample, jiggling brest; A brie that rubs my junk all day, And lifts her crumbly arms to pray; A brie that may in summer wear My sweaty shorts in her hair; Upon whose bosom I have lain; Who intimately touched my wang. Poems are made by fools like me, But only the French can make a brie.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at January 16, 2014 02:37 PM (P7Wsr)

242 You know nothing of the deep emotional bond between a man and his toaster. Yep. Until the day you come home and find your 'doneness' settings changed.

Posted by: garrett at January 16, 2014 02:37 PM (UHS5k)

243 > There's just something wrong with you people What's your point?

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at January 16, 2014 02:38 PM (vHRtU)

244 Just can't compete with a cheesefucker. Posted by: DangerGirl at January 16, 2014 06:35 PM (GrtrJ) Ladies and gentlemen, Morons and 'Ettes, now I ask you, is that a sentence you would find on any other blog? Damn I love this place.

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/s][/u][/b] at January 16, 2014 02:38 PM (yz6yg)

245 Thanks for the nightmare fuel, ace.

Posted by: I need a cool new sig at January 16, 2014 02:38 PM (q177U)

246 Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling StarsÂ™ at January 16, 2014 06:28 PM (HsTG Kraft-y!

Posted by: Adriane... at January 16, 2014 02:38 PM (hrU8o)

247 Posted by: RigelDog

Dang, thunderb! An AoS scoop!!

Posted by: Peaches at January 16, 2014 02:39 PM (8lmkt)

248 What's your point? Posted by: OG Celtic-American at January 16, 2014 06:38 PM (vHRtU) No point. Just taking notice.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Irish at January 16, 2014 02:39 PM (GEICT)

249
Dude's a total curd burglar.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 16, 2014 02:39 PM (TIIx5)

250 So after this dude bangs the cheese, doe he ditch it? Does the cheese . . . stand alone?

Posted by: logprof at January 16, 2014 02:39 PM (X3GkB)

251 Just can't compete with a cheesefucker.

Posted by: DangerGirl at January 16, 2014 06:35 PM (GrtrJ)

True dat. Cheesefucker pre-empted the "I ignored Obama" thread, too.

http://ace.mu.nu/archives/346496.php

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at January 16, 2014 02:39 PM (yh0zB)

252 243 Edited: Bries I think that I shall never see A poem lovely as some brie. A brie whose hungry mouth is prest Against my ample, jiggling brest; A brie that rubs my junk all day, And lifts her crumbly arms to pray; A brie that may in summer wear My sweaty shorts in her hair; Upon whose bosom I have lain; Who intimately touched my wang. Poems are made by fools like me, But only the French can make a brie. Posted by: bonhomme at January 16, 2014 06:37 PM (P7Wsr) **** LOL! You should have signed off with-- la vache qui rit. Or worked it in--so to speak.

Posted by: Jay Z Cheeseman at January 16, 2014 02:40 PM (RJMhd)

253 Sing with me...

Let me tell you bout the birds and the bees,

and the flowers and the cheese...

Posted by: BurtTC at January 16, 2014 02:40 PM (BeSEI)

254 There's just something wrong with you people. Hilarious, but wrong. This from the Floridian. Hey, what's today's Florida human dysfunction story of the day>

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/s][/u][/b] at January 16, 2014 02:40 PM (yz6yg)

255 Damn.I was hoping you had a point, to bring meaning to my sad, cheeseless life... fucking 12-steps...

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at January 16, 2014 02:40 PM (vHRtU)

256 Faith and begorrah, am I on the right thread, me old trout?

Posted by: Seamus O'Hymiejoooostein at January 16, 2014 02:40 PM (Rax2C)

257 Now we know why there is a Velveeta shortage. My Gawd! He either ate it all or had relations with it. Or both.

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 16, 2014 02:40 PM (C3Wjb)

258 Take the RNC straw poll and select your Top 3 preferred POTUS candidates. http://t.co/GmpfGh4dqc

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 16, 2014 02:40 PM (DmNpO)

259 There's just something wrong with you people. Hilarious, but wrong.

It's just that . . . sometimes . . . the doily on the back of the sofa looks like Alpine Lace, covering the milky white breast of . . .

Er . . .

Couch. I mean bunk . . .

In the privacy of my own home, of course . . .

Posted by: couch cheese pervert at January 16, 2014 02:41 PM (2gjPx)

260 Agree or Disagree? Chris Christie's approvals would've gone up 15 points if he rode into the NJ State House on a Hoveround to deliver his SOTS address.

Posted by: soothsayer at January 16, 2014 02:41 PM (plJvF)

261 Take the RNC straw poll and select your Top 3 preferred POTUS candidates. http://t.co/GmpfGh4dqc Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 16, 2014 06:40 ......Cheesefucker for Presint!

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 16, 2014 02:41 PM (C3Wjb)

262 Hey, what's today's Florida human dysfunction story of the day> Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 16, 2014 06:40 PM (yz6yg) LMFAO I haven't seen one today, but there have been several awesome ones lately. A drug deal gone bad that involved a sword. A lady that stole a Culligan truck. The kicker? Her face tat.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Irish at January 16, 2014 02:42 PM (GEICT)

263 Great, now the old jingle is stuck in my head: There's no single cheese like Velveeta 'Cause Velveeta is more than on single cheese Like Colby, Swiss, and Cheddar Blended all togeddar For a creamy blend that melts with ease . . . Ah, the '80s . . .

Posted by: logprof at January 16, 2014 02:42 PM (X3GkB)

264 Ya know, this still isn't a friggin repulsive as the folks on that TLC show last night.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 16, 2014 02:42 PM (DmNpO)

265 //OT but is it really?

EM August at January 16, 2014 06:36 PM (Q4p8Q)

MSLSD is now producing Anti-Christie AgitProp

Posted by: Sven 10077 at January 16, 2014 02:42 PM (TE35l)

266 Sometimes you have fucked enough cheese

Posted by: Thunderb at January 16, 2014 02:42 PM (zOTsN)

267 Too many thread winners to count in this thread.

Posted by: CDR M at January 16, 2014 02:43 PM (LsJl8)

268

214 Over the years, a lot of people have fucked a lot of things on this blog. Sofas, Dogs, Horses, Appliances, Longbows... the list is almost endless. Posted by: garrett at January 16, 2014 06:33 PM (UHS5k)

I have long suspected some Morons of having intimate relations with slabs of bacon.

Posted by: Donna V. at January 16, 2014 02:43 PM (R3gO3)

269 Take the RNC straw poll and select your Top 3 preferred POTUS candidates. http://t.co/GmpfGh4dqc

Thanks, Niedermeyer!! I went with Cruz, Perry and West. Felt darned good. Almost like a cool slice of provolone.

Posted by: Peaches at January 16, 2014 02:43 PM (8lmkt)

270 Swiss isn't that pliable really. I am surprised he didn't pick provolone. More flexible.

Posted by: Paranoidgirlinseattle at January 16, 2014 02:43 PM (RZ8pf)

271 If the cheese don't fit, you must acquit.

Posted by: Ghost of Johnny Cochrane at January 16, 2014 02:43 PM (LsJl8)

272
Compared to this bloke, our mudshark stunt was fookin' NORMAL.

Posted by: Jimmy Page at January 16, 2014 02:43 PM (TIIx5)

273 Swiss isn't that pliable really. I am surprised he didn't pick provolone. More flexible.

Provolone just didn't want to put out. Swiss is easier.

Posted by: Chris Pagano at January 16, 2014 02:44 PM (cnS/d)

274 Before I go you will Bleu me!

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 16, 2014 02:44 PM (C3Wjb)

275 Sidebar: The Professor has finally gone up to the big lab in the sky.

Posted by: EC at January 16, 2014 02:44 PM (doBIb)

276 224: *clap clap clap*

Posted by: fb at January 16, 2014 02:44 PM (JVEmw)

277 267 Sven

ARGH damn it...

http://tinyurl.com/pnh9v6t

Inevitable: MSNBC shows now producing their own anti-Christie ads

Posted by: Sven 10077 at January 16, 2014 02:44 PM (TE35l)

278 > I have long suspected some Morons of having intimate relations with slabs of bacon. There's nothing intimate about it. Slam, Bam, Thank You Spam...

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at January 16, 2014 02:44 PM (vHRtU)

279 260 -

Took the poll, didn't use my real name. Wrote in the candidate name "Derp."

Just to see if I could... and you can! Everyone should.

Posted by: BurtTC at January 16, 2014 02:44 PM (BeSEI)

280 I have long suspected some Morons of having intimate relations with slabs of bacon.

mmmm bacon

Posted by: Chris Pagano at January 16, 2014 02:44 PM (cnS/d)

281 That's just sick!

Posted by: pussy-yarn knitter at January 16, 2014 02:44 PM (Rax2C)

282 272 Swiss isn't that pliable really. I am surprised he didn't pick provolone. More flexible. Posted by: Paranoidgirlinseattle at January 16, 2014 06:43 PM (RZ8pf) --It's all about the holes.

Posted by: logprof at January 16, 2014 02:44 PM (X3GkB)

283 I have long suspected some Morons of having intimate relations with slabs of bacon. The trick it to make sure it's at room temperature because beyond a certain threshold what happÂ…. ::: shifty eyes :::: Never mind.

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/s][/u][/b] at January 16, 2014 02:44 PM (yz6yg)

284 I went with Cruz, Perry and West. Posted by: Peaches at January 16, 2014 06:43 PM --- Glad to see that your taste in politicians is better than your taste in football teams, Peaches! :-) I went with Cruz, Perry, and Susanna Martinez.

Posted by: Y-not at January 16, 2014 02:45 PM (zDsvJ)

285 270 Donna V. at January 16, 2014 06:43 PM (R3gO3)

In the spirit of the Paleo Diet you can make sweet, sweet love to Donna Shalayla and get to the source of the bacon..

Posted by: Sven 10077 at January 16, 2014 02:45 PM (TE35l)

286 NMCLA President!

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at January 16, 2014 02:46 PM (vHRtU)

287 I went with Cruz, Perry, and Susanna Martinez. Huh. I went with Cruz, Allen West, and Susanna Martinez.

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/s][/u][/b] at January 16, 2014 02:46 PM (yz6yg)

288 Once you've gone Oscypec you can't go back!

Posted by: garrett at January 16, 2014 02:46 PM (UHS5k)

289 Is the cheesebanger related to the Colts head coach?

Posted by: logprof at January 16, 2014 02:47 PM (X3GkB)

290 Took the poll, went with Cruz, Martinez and Walker

Posted by: chemjeff at January 16, 2014 02:47 PM (cnS/d)

291 Pagano...

Pagano...wasn't that one of the names initially floated about Sandy Hook?

Wasn't there some name, the 1/2 brother, and then Adam Lanza?

Posted by: Sven 10077 at January 16, 2014 02:47 PM (TE35l)

292
I have long suspected some Morons of having intimate relations with slabs of bacon.

Posted by: Donna V. at January 16, 2014 06:43 PM (R3gO3)

There's intimate relations......and there's intimate relationships.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 16, 2014 02:47 PM (TIIx5)

293 My client simply misunderstood the common phrase, "having a pound of Swiss."

Posted by: cheese fucker's lawyer at January 16, 2014 02:47 PM (Rax2C)

294 I went with Cruz, Perry, and Christopher Pagano.

Posted by: --- at January 16, 2014 02:47 PM (MMC8r)

295 Haha i was going to type a reply to logprof and first it autocorrected as logo proof and then logger of.

Posted by: Paranoidgirlinseattle at January 16, 2014 02:47 PM (RZ8pf)

296 There's intimate relations......and there's intimate relationships. It's in me vs It's In ME!

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at January 16, 2014 02:48 PM (P7Wsr)

297 I wonder if there's a Muenster molester out there? Or a Prov perv?

Posted by: logprof at January 16, 2014 02:48 PM (X3GkB)

298 Get your Authentic Philly Cheesesteak here

Posted by: RWC at January 16, 2014 02:48 PM (Q6HBD)

299 he's was probably provolonely. brie and let brie, i say!

Posted by: hack at January 16, 2014 02:48 PM (168MX)

300 I just looked at the pic again, man, Megan McCain has really let herself go.

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 16, 2014 02:48 PM (C3Wjb)

301 I went with Swiss, Limburger and Provolone

Posted by: Chris Pagano at January 16, 2014 02:48 PM (cnS/d)

302 I went with Paul, Haley, and Cruz. New blood.

Tough decision to leave out Scott Walker though.

I would like to have added West and Palin to the list too, but suspect they're too 'damaged-goods' nationally to be effective. Of course, any of the others I prefer, should they get close enough to sniff the RNC nomination will be destroyed by the Democrat-Media Complex, too, but . . . keep rolling that boulder up the hill, I guess . . .

Posted by: filbert at January 16, 2014 02:48 PM (2gjPx)

303 There's a common denominator there! It's still too early for me to feel committed, but so far I do like Cruz a lot.

Posted by: Y-not at January 16, 2014 02:48 PM (zDsvJ)

304 Wasn't he a prison guard or something?

Was a bad identifier... damn I know I have heard that name and it is not the NFL coach

Posted by: Sven 10077 at January 16, 2014 02:49 PM (TE35l)

305 to brie or not to brie

Posted by: That skeevy guy in the car at January 16, 2014 02:49 PM (8lmkt)

306 Every cheese I've encountered has preferred just to be eaten.

Posted by: logprof at January 16, 2014 02:49 PM (X3GkB)

307 Thanks, Niedermeyer!! I went with Cruz, Perry and West. Felt darned good. Almost like a cool slice of provolone. *** You're welcome. It look like I'm the odd man out. I went with Rand, Perry, and Walker.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 16, 2014 02:49 PM (DmNpO)

308 I did not have sexual relations with that cheesewheel..

Posted by: Cheesefucker at January 16, 2014 02:49 PM (C3Wjb)

309 Cheese is a gateway sex food. Next thing you know you're in the meat section getting jiggy with a Butterball.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 16, 2014 02:49 PM (g1DWB)

310 Hey, Cochran. You're behind on the news. In Florida. Woman crashes car while shaving bikini area http://tinyurl.com/oc3qg7k Seriously, what the fuck is wrong in that state?

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/s][/u][/b] at January 16, 2014 02:50 PM (yz6yg)

311 This is the love that dairy not speak its name.

Posted by: Jenny Hates Her Phone at January 16, 2014 02:50 PM (Yj2Oz)

312 Every cheese I've encountered has preferred just to be eaten.

Oh, I can make them melt in my hands...

Posted by: Chris Pagano at January 16, 2014 02:50 PM (cnS/d)

313 Don't even bring up cheez whiz

Posted by: Thunderb at January 16, 2014 02:50 PM (zOTsN)

314 Bummer. Russell Johnson dead.

Posted by: --- at January 16, 2014 02:50 PM (MMC8r)

315 310 Cheesefucker at January 16, 2014 06:49 PM (C3Wjb)

I have no comment!

//President William J Clinton esq

Posted by: Sven 10077 at January 16, 2014 02:50 PM (TE35l)

316 297 Haha i was going to type a reply to logprof and first it autocorrected as logo proof and then logger of. Posted by: Paranoidgirlinseattle at January 16, 2014 06:47 PM (RZ8pf) --Heh, at least "logo proof" is a phrase that can be used in printing. As for "logger of," best to ask Barney Frank.

Posted by: logprof at January 16, 2014 02:51 PM (X3GkB)

317 Cheese is a gateway sex food. Next thing you know you're in the meat section getting jiggy with a Butterball. Posted by: JackStraw at January 16, 2014 06:49 PM ......Yes, go on.

Posted by: The Chicken at January 16, 2014 02:51 PM (C3Wjb)

318 I'm cool with Walker. Not that cool with Rand, to me he still carries the taint of LuapNor and I simply can't get past it. Would have been different if he hadn't been out there campaigning for that fuckin' lunatic last cycle, but he was.

Posted by: Peaches at January 16, 2014 02:51 PM (8lmkt)

319 I didn't take the poll because I won't do anything RNC related.

But at this point I would have to go with Scott Walker. I like what he's done here. Just today I read an article saying that an EXTRA billion dollars is probably coming back to WIS taxpayers on top of the savings already accounted for, which have been substantial.

Posted by: grammie winger at January 16, 2014 02:51 PM (P6QsQ)

320 Every cheese I've encountered has preferred just to be eaten. I'd rather just snuggle.

Posted by: Myzithra in Mi at January 16, 2014 02:51 PM (4j296)

321 313 : Sean Bannion at January 16, 2014 06:50 PM (yz6yg)

Global warming, and illegal immigration(from the north)

Posted by: Sven 10077 at January 16, 2014 02:51 PM (TE35l)

322 Cheese effer bar name suggestion: The Hairy Dairy

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at January 16, 2014 02:51 PM (P7Wsr)

323 Seriously, what the fuck is wrong in that state? Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 16, 2014 06:50 PM (yz6yg) All the fucking out of staters that move here.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Irish at January 16, 2014 02:52 PM (GEICT)

324 what do they call a quarter pounder WITH CHEESE ?

Posted by: Jules at January 16, 2014 02:52 PM (omBWL)

325 Was there foreplay ?

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at January 16, 2014 02:52 PM (XWw96)

326 @321 Same here, Peaches.

Posted by: Y-not at January 16, 2014 02:52 PM (zDsvJ)

327 I have long suspected some Morons of having intimate relations with slabs of bacon. Posted by: Donna V. at January 16, 2014 06:43 PM (R3gO3) Look, when I said I love bacon I meant I like to eat . . . this isn't going to end well, is it?

Posted by: Adriane... at January 16, 2014 02:52 PM (hrU8o)

328 T or F? The Professor was the only Gilligan cast member to never appear on The Love Boat.

Posted by: soothsayer at January 16, 2014 02:52 PM (plJvF)

329 321 Peaches at January 16, 2014 06:51 PM (8lmkt)

Eh maybe I am a bit irritated at him for Daddy Luap but...

if it blocks Chrispy....

Posted by: Sven 10077 at January 16, 2014 02:52 PM (TE35l)

330 For foreplay he fondles the Cheese Nips

Posted by: Jenny Hates Her Phone at January 16, 2014 02:53 PM (Yj2Oz)

331 Oh, and the RNC called me again today. I only answer ever 3rd or 4th call from them and today was their day. I reiterated, again, exactly why I will not be renewing my membership and why I'll no longer be making donations to them. The gal on the phone was undeterred and after several firm but polite exchanges, I told her that I was going to hang up and wished her a good day. Then I hung up on her. BTW, the reason, according to her, as to why they support the candidates they support is that the MAJORITY vote for them. Really?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 16, 2014 02:53 PM (DmNpO)

332

Camembert is the Catherine Denevue of cheeses.

Parmagiano is the Sophia Loren of cheeses.

Stilton is the Kate Middleton of cheeses.

Cheese Whiz is the Michele Obama of cheeses.

Posted by: Donna V. at January 16, 2014 02:53 PM (R3gO3)

333 I'm a quarter-tonner with cheese.

Posted by: Chris Pagano at January 16, 2014 02:53 PM (cnS/d)

334 The problem I have with Cruz and Rand Paul is that they have never actually governed anything. They haven't had to be responsible for actually implementing a conservative agenda. It's all speeches.

I like the fact that Walker did what he said he would do. He didn't just make speeches about it.

Also, he's fire-tested.

Posted by: grammie winger at January 16, 2014 02:53 PM (P6QsQ)

335 All the fucking out of staters that move here. Im starting to think that every family tree in Florida looks more like a stick.

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/s][/u][/b] at January 16, 2014 02:53 PM (yz6yg)

336 Walker, PerryÂ…Â…PALIN. That's right. I went there.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Irish at January 16, 2014 02:54 PM (GEICT)

337 I'm cool with Walker. Not that cool with Rand, to me he still carries the taint of LuapNor and I simply can't get past it. Would have been different if he hadn't been out there campaigning for that fuckin' lunatic last cycle, but he was. *** Rand knew as well as we did that his dad would never get the nom. It was a sage bet to support him. Frankly, I don't think I could support a man who would publicly shame his father.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 16, 2014 02:55 PM (DmNpO)

338 Walker, PerryÂ…Â…PALIN. No. Just. No. She cannot win.

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/s][/u][/b] at January 16, 2014 02:55 PM (yz6yg)

339 Nood.

Ace didn't want this thread stinking like old cheese.

Posted by: filbert at January 16, 2014 02:55 PM (2gjPx)

340 Im starting to think that every family tree in Florida looks more like a stick. Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 16, 2014 06:53 PM (yz6yg) Dude, I chose to move back here after spending time in Maryland/The District. What does that tell you?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Irish at January 16, 2014 02:55 PM (GEICT)

341 The Professor has finally gone up to the big lab in the sky. Speaking of which, the IMDB also notes that Dave Madden has passed away at age 82. Probably best known as Reuben Kincaid from the Partridge Family.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at January 16, 2014 02:55 PM (PMGbu)

342
Cheese is a gateway sex food.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 16, 2014 06:49 PM (g1DWB)

You can be sure that the Donks are gonna trump up fromagephilia as a wedge issue.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 16, 2014 02:55 PM (TIIx5)

343 I would be okay with Rand as VP. Thinking that would get a lot of the stoner libertarian types on board.

But then the Donks would just say "yeah, we want legal pot too, and we want to subsidize it as well!" ugh

Posted by: chemjeff at January 16, 2014 02:56 PM (cnS/d)

344 Would you guys mind taking politics somewhere else. We're talking about important shit like cheesefuckers here on this smart military blog if you don't mind.

Posted by: The Chicken at January 16, 2014 02:56 PM (C3Wjb)

345 No. Just. No. She cannot win. Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 16, 2014 06:55 PM (yz6yg) *shrug* It said who did I want, not who would necessarily have the best chance of winning.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Irish at January 16, 2014 02:56 PM (GEICT)

346 340 Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 16, 2014 06:55 PM (DmNpO)

*that* father?

*maybe*

Posted by: Sven 10077 at January 16, 2014 02:56 PM (TE35l)

347 Posted by: Donna V. at January 16, 2014 06:53 PM (R3gO3)

golf claps!!!

Posted by: Peaches at January 16, 2014 02:56 PM (8lmkt)

348 Dude, I chose to move back here after spending time in Maryland/The District. I'm with you on the Maryland/DC thing. (Although western MD is pretty nice). I can't WAIT to get he hell out of this town.

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/s][/u][/b] at January 16, 2014 02:56 PM (yz6yg)

349 In Florida. Woman crashes car while shaving bikini area **** My ex-boyfriend was FHP and pulled over several cars wherein the occupant was nekkid.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 16, 2014 02:56 PM (DmNpO)

350 >>>Was there foreplay ?<<<

Foreplay or foulplay, we're still analyzing the cracker crumbs.

Posted by: Fritz at January 16, 2014 02:57 PM (UzPAd)

351 Would you guys mind taking politics somewhere else. We're talking about important shit like cheesefuckers here on this smart military blog if you don't mind. Posted by: The Chicken at January 16, 2014 06:56 PM (C3Wjb Hey. Watch it. We don't HAVE to be fucking cheese. Get it? ::: glares :::

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/s][/u][/b] at January 16, 2014 02:57 PM (yz6yg)

352 It said who did I want, not who would necessarily have the best chance of winning. *** EXACTLY! Let the RNC know that Christie and Rubio are NOT at the top of your list. My suspicion is that by selecting three preferred candidates they believe that their choice will place or show in the running. Show them otherwise.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 16, 2014 02:58 PM (DmNpO)

353 My ex-boyfriend was FHP and pulled over several cars wherein the occupant was nekkid. OK, so this being the HordeÂ…. Would he have hit any of it?

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/s][/u][/b] at January 16, 2014 02:58 PM (yz6yg)

354 I'm starting to think that every family tree in Florida looks more like a stick. It's the most populous state. Of the ~244 countries on the planet, it's got more people than 185 of them. Of course crazy stories are coming out of there.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at January 16, 2014 02:58 PM (P7Wsr)

355 Would you guys mind taking politics somewhere else. We're talking about important shit like cheesefuckers here on this smart military blog if you don't mind.
Posted by: The Chicken at January 16, 2014 06:56 PM (C3Wjb

Hey. Watch it.

We don't HAVE to be fucking cheese. Get it?

::: glares :::

Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 16, 2014 06:57 PM (yz6yg)

that is one uppity chicken right there

Posted by: Peaches at January 16, 2014 02:59 PM (8lmkt)

356 My ex-boyfriend was FHP and pulled over several cars wherein the occupant was nekkid. with or without slices of cheese? wrapped or unwrapped? fried bread or pannini pressed?

Posted by: Adriane... at January 16, 2014 02:59 PM (hrU8o)

357
Don't ask what's in the cheese log.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 16, 2014 03:00 PM (TIIx5)

358 Dude, I chose to move back here after spending time in Maryland/The District. *** Speaking of Maryland.... I read this last night. I don't know if I'm more pissed at the cops or the wife. http://t.co/07BNnDPz9F

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 16, 2014 03:00 PM (DmNpO)

359 My ex-boyfriend was FHP and pulled over several cars wherein the occupant was nekkid.

To be fair, it is often ridiculously hot in Florida. Although, they must have had cloth upholstery in their cars, you can't do that on leather, in a hot humid environment.

Posted by: Peaches at January 16, 2014 03:00 PM (8lmkt)

360 >>Cheese Whiz is the Michele Obama of cheeses. Blech.

Posted by: Velveeta Baker at January 16, 2014 03:01 PM (SUKHu)

361 OK, so this being the HordeÂ…. Would he have hit any of it? *** He was clearly disturbed the first time it happened when it turned out to be a drunk 21-year old girl who left a party without her clothes. Was she hot? Yes. But, her friends letting her drive like that = disturbing

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 16, 2014 03:03 PM (DmNpO)

362 Cheese is just a gateway drug to yoghourt.

Posted by: Haywood Jablowmefarb at January 16, 2014 03:04 PM (QupBk)

363 EPA thread up

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 16, 2014 03:06 PM (DmNpO)

364 The chicken likes the cheese thread because he's happy the Kraft singles are getting it for a change.

Posted by: Donna V. at January 16, 2014 03:07 PM (R3gO3)

365 Last night I saw an episode of The Twilight Zone, where an elderly woman got phone calls from her dead fiance. Her number, placed in the middle of the phone dial, started KL5, a.k.a. 555!

Posted by: Pete in TX at January 16, 2014 03:16 PM (gKC5y)

366 God damn you guys make me laugh. Wife thinks you're a bunch of MORONS

Posted by: NativeNH at January 16, 2014 03:17 PM (tm9kO)

367 Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 16, 2014 07:00 PM (DmNpO)

I kinda did too but I can see how she screwed up.

Folks have been brain washed by TV and Hollywood. Plus we're used to responding to a question.

Remember, when you're talking to a policeman, you're likely talking to someone who is authorized to use deadly force on you under certain circumstances of which he will be the only one to testify that they occurred because you'll likely be dead. In other words, complete control over your life at that point in time.

That'll help give you the right attitude to have if you have to talk to the police.

Very carefully and saying as little as possible.

Mr. Policeman is not your friend when he's on duty. And they're always on duty.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That (Unexpurgated Edition) at January 16, 2014 03:29 PM (LSDdO)

368 Just reading the Wikipedia entry for Russell Johnson. Pretty interesting. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russell_Johnson He broke both ankles when his B-24 was shot down and had to ditch in Philippine waters. After the war, he became a close friend of Audie Murphy. He appeared in two Twilight Zone episodes (that's what I went there to look up), and both were pretty good ones.

Posted by: rickl at January 16, 2014 03:42 PM (sdi6R)

369 Weird. Obamacare hacking thread was up, now it's gone, and the EPA thread is above this one.

Posted by: logprof at January 16, 2014 03:44 PM (X3GkB)

370 The Philadelphia Swiss cheese stroker They say he's on the LOOOOOO-ooo-ooze... Where's Frank Zappa when you need him?

Posted by: Auntie M at January 16, 2014 03:49 PM (AIC5Z)

371 If the Philly Swiss Cheese Pervert were a Real American, he would have used Velveeta.

Posted by: Tantor at January 16, 2014 05:04 PM (i1tGd)

372 Admit it, men. Some of you will be sneaking into the kitchen tonight, and it won't be for a midnight snack! Posted by: BurtTC at January 16, 2014 06:09 PM (BeSEI) If it were Swiss, I could lick it right between the holes. It looks to me the dude was abusing some headcheese.

Posted by: Bill H at January 16, 2014 05:40 PM (3sZO1)

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