Ace of Spades HQ

January 02, 2014

Is The Alignment of Your Toilets Putting You At Risk for Schizophrenia? That Story When We Return
— Ace

A study claims that dogs align themselves with earth's magnetic lines when they poop. And when the magnetic fields are scrambled, they become "confused."

Czech and German researchers studied 70 dogs during 1,893 defecations and 5,582 urinations over the course of two years, and found that when the Earth's magnetic field was stable the dogs chose to align themselves with it. When it was unstable, such as during a solar flare, the dogs would become confused.
...
Dogs on leashes, however, do not consistently align themselves as such, mainly doing so when they are free to choose. Researchers are yet to figure out why dogs exhibit this preference.

Yeah, here are some big old doubts I have: How frequently did dogs choose to align with the magnetic fields? Just somewhat more frequently than mere chance would suggest, I'd bet. And there's a lot of room for shenanigans with the definition of "aligning" one self with the magnetic field. How far off the line can a dog be and still get counted as "aligned" with it?

Those doubts aside, a lot of animals can sense magnetic fields and they use them as clues to navigating the local environment.

thanks to @clayremick

Posted by: Ace at 02:31 PM | Comments (240)
Post contains 234 words, total size 2 kb.

1 third time!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at January 02, 2014 02:34 PM (QFxY5)

2 I call Dog Shit on this article.

Posted by: snopercod at January 02, 2014 02:35 PM (x2//E)

3 >>the dogs would become confused. As measured by my Confusion Detector and Long Handled Scoop.

Posted by: Mama AJ, Scientist at January 02, 2014 02:35 PM (SUKHu)

from pot to poop,

Man this website has everything!

Posted by: Refresh Data at January 02, 2014 02:36 PM (q+zA9)

5 Align thee with thy socialists!!!1111111

Posted by: @ParisParamus at January 02, 2014 02:36 PM (1GvYM)

6 "Kenneth, what is the frequency?"

Posted by: Scott McCloud at January 02, 2014 02:36 PM (e8kgV)

7 Maybe they will do a study on this next. It's a dog butt that resembles Jesus. http://tinyurl.com/ntbetmx

Posted by: no good deed at January 02, 2014 02:36 PM (HsJeN)

When the muzzies poop, do they face toward Mecca or away? or sideways?

Posted by: Refresh Data at January 02, 2014 02:37 PM (q+zA9)

9 Give me a tree & I will be ok-misanthropic humanitarians setter

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at January 02, 2014 02:37 PM (HVff2)

10 Is The Alignment of Your Toilets Putting You At Risk for Schizophrenia? If bad studies show an increase in schizophrenia, stop right there. ItÂ’s time to ban out-of-alignment toilets! Since itÂ’s difficult to detect out-of-alignment toilets, we should ban all toilets.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at January 02, 2014 02:37 PM (WX3R9)

11 Talk about harshing a mellow.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at January 02, 2014 02:38 PM (BZAd3)

12 Feng shui for pooping! And still there are people who insist there is no such thing as progress...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] at January 02, 2014 02:38 PM (HsTG8)

13 I sometimes get "confused" when urinating after a drink or five. Once confused the dirty clothes hamper with a urinal, or is that too much sharing.

Posted by: Javems at January 02, 2014 02:38 PM (c8xU9)

14 I think it's very valid. If my shitter had a wide screen TV in it, I'd align myself with that.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 02, 2014 02:39 PM (nzKvP)

15 10 Is The Alignment of Your Toilets Putting You At Risk for Schizophrenia? If bad studies show an increase in schizophrenia, stop right there. ItÂ’s time to ban out-of-alignment toilets! Since itÂ’s difficult to detect out-of-alignment toilets, we should ban all toilets. Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at January 02, 2014 06:37 PM (WX3R9) Not an outright ban. Waiting periods, back ground checks should help.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at January 02, 2014 02:39 PM (HVff2)

16 I always face Magnetic North when I drop the Obamas off at the pool.

Posted by: garrett at January 02, 2014 02:39 PM (mIAI5)

17 say hello to Potty-Training-Anxiety

Posted by: Refresh Data at January 02, 2014 02:39 PM (q+zA9)

18 A second look at Feng Shui, and I think someone planted a bug in my toilet paper roll. The air freshener is really a mind control spray too.

Posted by: no good deed at January 02, 2014 02:40 PM (HsJeN)

19 Stonehedge was just a Public RestRoom?

Posted by: garrett at January 02, 2014 02:41 PM (mIAI5)

20 Yeah... and don't forget global warming!! 7 freaking degrees, man!

We are so totally boned!!!

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at January 02, 2014 02:41 PM (BZAd3)

21 Maybe I should keep a log of which direction I face when urinating outdoors.

Posted by: fluffy at January 02, 2014 02:41 PM (Ua6T/)

22 Dung Shui

Posted by: garrett at January 02, 2014 02:41 PM (mIAI5)

23 My poop is out of phase.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at January 02, 2014 02:41 PM (aVcgy)

24 I think someone planted a bug in my toilet paper roll

When I find bugs in my TP roll, that's a sign for me to go clean the john again

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at January 02, 2014 02:42 PM (Xfl0F)

This is true. Except for pugs. they run ito the wall face first.

Posted by: cheshirelion at January 02, 2014 02:42 PM (Dq7wL)

26 Dung Shui

Hahahaha, garrett!

Posted by: no good deed at January 02, 2014 02:42 PM (HsJeN)

27 Studies show most people don't stare directly into the sun when they fart.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at January 02, 2014 02:42 PM (dwArK)

28 I also heard progressives piss into the wind.

Posted by: cheshirelion at January 02, 2014 02:42 PM (Dq7wL)

29 Fun fact -- it takes all mammals, from smallest to biggest, about 20 seconds to piss with a full bladder. Elephant, mouse, human -- all about 20 seconds for a full piss.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at January 02, 2014 02:43 PM (ZPrif)

30 I haven't had a properly aligned bowel movement since I watched Hello Larry! back in the 1980s.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 02, 2014 02:43 PM (oFCZn)

31 Must be why all the dogs I've had when on leash run around in a crazy fashion before doing a deuce.

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 02, 2014 02:45 PM (FciyD)

32 In a little noticed side study, it turns out Czech and German scientists also align themselves with the Earth's magnetic fields when they poop. Unless they're on leashes (and the clock) at Helga's House of Pain, in which case...time is money, etc...

Posted by: JQP at January 02, 2014 02:45 PM (U4GjV)

33 Yeah, here are some big old doubts I have

The science is settled, you science-hating poop-denialist!!!

Posted by: Bill Nye at January 02, 2014 02:45 PM (2jQGY)

34 Magnetic fields are just terrific... for me to poop on.

Posted by: Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at January 02, 2014 02:45 PM (2ljO9)

35 Elephant, mouse, human -- all about 20 seconds for a full piss. Posted by: Flatbush Joe at January 02, 2014 06:43 PM (ZPrif) ***** Not if I have anything to say about it.

Posted by: Giant Prostate Gland at January 02, 2014 02:45 PM (g4TxM)

36 INVENTION ONE: Magnetic field on your shoe that repels dog turds. INVENTION TWO: App to your smartphone that alerts you about power drain. "Cap'n! Our shields cannae take more more abuse!"

Posted by: Chris_Balsz at January 02, 2014 02:46 PM (5xmd7)

37 Seems to me they want maximum scent dispersal.My old beagle used to love to shit on top of snow piles,dirt,stack of bricks etc.

Posted by: steevy at January 02, 2014 02:46 PM (zqvg6)

38 WTF...so if they're on a leash they shit without caring about magnetic fields? Yeah, this study's legit.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at January 02, 2014 02:46 PM (0LHZx)

39 30 Fun fact -- it takes all mammals, from smallest to biggest, about 20 seconds to piss with a full bladder.

Elephant, mouse, human -- all about 20 seconds for a full piss.

Gee, thanks for that little factoid. Now I have to buy a stopwatch for the bathroom.

Posted by: Brendan at January 02, 2014 02:46 PM (2jQGY)

40 Dogs are habit-poopers. As are most people.

Posted by: grammie winger at January 02, 2014 02:46 PM (P6QsQ)

41 I also heard progressives piss into the wind. I heard that they pull the mask off the Lone Ranger.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at January 02, 2014 02:47 PM (WX3R9)

42 You know, this may or may not be relevant...but they drink A LOT of beer in Germany and the Czech Republic.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at January 02, 2014 02:47 PM (0LHZx)

43 HAH!!!!! Both the upstairs and downstairs crappers are aligned almost exactly to magnetic north. It just worked out that way..... ...or did it? Hmmmmmm....

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Rounding Error Extraordinaire at January 02, 2014 02:47 PM (Sk+sz)

44
Ah -- so judging by the puppy treasure drop that greeted me today, the Earth's magnetic field is particular strong in my dining room.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 02, 2014 02:47 PM (kdS6q)

45 Big deal. I don't need my dick to find magnaknectic lines, I just use my water witch. Or a couple of copper rods. Or welding rods. Helps me find underground phone lines, power lines, water pipes, and truffles.

Posted by: Fritz at January 02, 2014 02:47 PM (UzPAd)

46 What happens when dogs try to poop on the North Pole?

Posted by: wooga at January 02, 2014 02:48 PM (h68p/)

47 Sadly, I know that this doesn't hold true for my dogs. Apparently I need to get out more. :-P

Posted by: Y-not (@MoxieMom) at January 02, 2014 02:48 PM (zDsvJ)

48 Speaking of idiocy in the Holy Name of ScienceÂ™:

"Ship with 52 rescued Akademik Shokalskiy only able to make 1/4 knot (0.29 mph) in heavy ice towards open water. Latest webcam shows all ice and no open water ahead."

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at January 02, 2014 02:48 PM (dwArK)

49 47 What happens when dogs try to poop on the North Pole? Posted by: wooga at January 02, 2014 06:48 PM (h68p/) ________ Funniest 5 minutes of your life.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at January 02, 2014 02:49 PM (0LHZx)

50 My greyhound had an extra colon I swear. She saved up massive amounts poop in it for when we went to the dog park. Don't know if it was magnetized or not, but she could really crap.

Posted by: grammie winger at January 02, 2014 02:49 PM (P6QsQ)

51 All toilets are aligned toward Mecca.

The Prophet needs poop to power his time machine.

Posted by: Muhammad Bin Al Pastafasul at January 02, 2014 02:49 PM (bSzbN)

52 This "how far out of alignment" question is why I don't really trust reports that someone was shot "in the back". The back is a large area. If someone is shot in the side, just one mm behind the midline, that can be reasonably called "in the back". In short, lawyers suck, as do scientists who want to claim that magnetism is the answer to everything.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at January 02, 2014 02:50 PM (WhJf8)

53 What happens when dogs try to poop on the North Pole?

There's a reason that the Eskimos call the North Pole "The Dizzybat of the Wolves."

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 02, 2014 02:50 PM (8ZskC)

54 I had a puppy shit on the wall once, what was that about?

Posted by: Dr Spank at January 02, 2014 02:50 PM (DpEwG)

55 55 Parvovirus

Posted by: grammie winger at January 02, 2014 02:51 PM (P6QsQ)

56 I hear that TFG is so fucking perfect he doesn't need to poop, now his fat ass wife is a different story & her shit stinks too. That's the reason for 2 planes when they go somewhere.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at January 02, 2014 02:51 PM (HVff2)

47 What happens when dogs try to poop on the North Pole?
Posted by: wooga at January 02, 2014 06:48 PM (h68p/)

____

Swirly turds

Posted by: cheshirelion at January 02, 2014 02:51 PM (Dq7wL)

58 I've heard about this hypothesis for sleeping but shitting? Who spends that much time on the toilet--to be affected?

Posted by: Amsterdamned at January 02, 2014 02:51 PM (RJMhd)

59 SCIENCE!!!

Posted by: Magnus Pyke at January 02, 2014 02:51 PM (ucIo1)

60 Now you know why I hate my job.

Posted by: Guy in charge of cleaning the MRI machine at January 02, 2014 02:52 PM (g4TxM)

61 What happens when dogs try to poop on the North Pole?
They droo-OOOOwn!

Posted by: AlGoreBearPig at January 02, 2014 02:52 PM (Ua6T/)

62 What happens when dogs try to poop on the North Pole?

Posted by: wooga at January 02, 2014 06:48 PM (h68p/)

Prolly same thing my friend's dog does: spins around and around and poops in a 360Â° circle.

Posted by: EyeTest at January 02, 2014 02:53 PM (y4BCI)

63 Ace is in a silly mood today, or just doesn't care anymore.

Posted by: Dr Spank at January 02, 2014 02:53 PM (DpEwG)

64 Guy Has Schizophrenia Because His Toilet is Out of Alignment and He's F*cking Crazy, But Mostly Because He's F*cking Crazy

Posted by: The Mega Independent at January 02, 2014 02:53 PM (4/o9U)

65 Now if you are like some dogs and shit rainbows after you eat crayons--that are made in China--it could happen.

Posted by: Amsterdamned at January 02, 2014 02:53 PM (RJMhd)

66 Now your polar bears, they shit in any direction.

Posted by: The AoSHQ Big Book of Animal Facts at January 02, 2014 02:53 PM (8ZskC)

67 >>>I had a puppy shit on the wall once, what was that about?<<<

Art?

Posted by: Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at January 02, 2014 02:53 PM (2ljO9)

68 The headline reminds me of that joke about the local news:

One of the world's two most popular soft drinks will kill you immediately when you drink it! We'll tell you which one after the weather and sports.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD, you taunty bitch. at January 02, 2014 02:53 PM (Gk3SS)

69 WHY was this study done in the first place? Seriously, what were these people looking to "discover"?

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at January 02, 2014 02:53 PM (PZ6/M)

70 Wow, talk about animal magnetism!

Posted by: Seamums Muldoon at January 02, 2014 02:53 PM (g4TxM)

71 from pot to poop, Man this website has everything! Posted by: Refresh Data at January 02, 2014 06:36 PM (q+zA9) I didn't have a pot to poop in till now. Progress!

Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at January 02, 2014 02:54 PM (Y92Nd)

70 WHY was this study done in the first place? Seriously, what were these people looking to "discover"?

Where to look on trees for the moss. It's a delicacy.

Posted by: cheshirelion at January 02, 2014 02:54 PM (Dq7wL)

73 on conference call. G-D I hate these things

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 02, 2014 02:54 PM (nzKvP)

74 Now I finally understand the expression, "all turds lead to Ellesmere Island."

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 02, 2014 02:55 PM (8ZskC)

75 Czech and German researchers ****** Germans--they have shelfs in their loos so they can inspect it--or so I've heard. What is it with Germans and the defecation?

Posted by: Amsterdamned at January 02, 2014 02:56 PM (RJMhd)

76 How are they aligned when they sniff each others butts?

Posted by: BignJames at January 02, 2014 02:56 PM (j7iSn)

77 ...

I got nothin'.

Posted by: Martin Bashir at January 02, 2014 02:58 PM (vgH+s)

78 my dog turned three times to crap....

I always figured it was more to look for predators rather than him preparing to use his Magneto brand super powers.

Posted by: Sven10077 at January 02, 2014 02:58 PM (TE35l)

79 You should face magnetic north next time you have sex--see if you can offset pot dick.

Posted by: Amsterdamned at January 02, 2014 02:58 PM (RJMhd)

77 How are they aligned when they sniff each others butts?

____

Cheek to Cheek.

Posted by: cheshirelion at January 02, 2014 02:59 PM (Dq7wL)

81 Germans--they have shelfs in their loos so they can inspect it--or so I've heard. --- True. Plus, low water toilets, so there's always a G-D brush you have to use. Revolting. They really are into scatalogy. Took a few tours of castles while I was in Heidelberg for a month and they made sure to devote significant time to crappers.

Posted by: Y-not (@MoxieMom) at January 02, 2014 03:00 PM (zDsvJ)

82 Here is what I do not want to know: 1) why did they decided to do this study and 2) who paid for it.

Follow the money.

Posted by: Big Pooper Scooper at January 02, 2014 03:00 PM (8ZskC)

83 This looks like a nice thread....... for me to poop on!!!

Posted by: Triumph, the Scientific Comic Dog at January 02, 2014 03:01 PM (3sZO1)

84 My mom used to live in Yemen, where they don't keep dogs. But she did remark on the number of men who would simply poop right in the streets. Not sure which way they faced. I'll have to ask her.

Posted by: grammie winger at January 02, 2014 03:02 PM (P6QsQ)

85 Try the Compass Toilet. It rotates to correctly align with the local magnetic field and makes crapping and doing crossword puzzles at the same time a joy once again.

Posted by: eman at January 02, 2014 03:02 PM (EWsrI)

86 Swirly turds

I saw those guys open for Hawkwind in '74.

Posted by: Armando at January 02, 2014 03:03 PM (vgH+s)

87 Meanwhile in California a man who is an illegal alien has passed the bar exam and can practice law in the state of California.
http://www.staradvertiser.com/news/breaking/238478961.html

Posted by: Chelsea Puma (+SmuD) at January 02, 2014 03:03 PM (cubpP)

88 You are exactly right, Ace. I have thought the same thing.

Posted by: BunkerInTheBurbs at January 02, 2014 03:04 PM (X3xYu)

89 I just crapped myself! Magnets, how do they work?

Posted by: Joe Biden at January 02, 2014 03:04 PM (2DunM)

90 Who pays for these studies? I hope they are not paid by our tax dollars.

Posted by: Carol at January 02, 2014 03:04 PM (z4WKX)

91 Dogs always look so vulnerable when they take a shit.

Posted by: Bean Pies, ey? at January 02, 2014 03:04 PM (Qev5V)

92
WHY was this study done in the first place?

The study was supported by the Grant Agency of the Czech Republic (project. nr.506/11/2121).

*KA-ching!*

Also, if you follow the links and download the report pdf, the last page with Fig. 5 is unintentionally humorous.

http://s23.postimg.org/t4s3qpdbv/magpoop.jpg

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 02, 2014 03:05 PM (kdS6q)

93 That's not true! I always align myself perpendicular to the Earth's Magnetic lines whenever I have to pinch a loaf!

Posted by: Rover at January 02, 2014 03:05 PM (Wfx69)

94 Cartman's mom helped the Germans in their dog shit study!

Posted by: kyle broflovski at January 02, 2014 03:05 PM (8AHeV)

95 Man, when the Earth's magnetic field flips dogs are going to be pissed. Did those researchers test cats? Wolverines? Sperm whales? Scandis?

Posted by: eman at January 02, 2014 03:05 PM (EWsrI)

96 83 Here is what I do not want to know: 1) why did they decided to do this study and 2) who paid for it. Follow the money. Posted by: Big Pooper Scooper at January 02, 2014 07:00 PM (8ZskC) Actually, I'm quite surprised it's not a USA study. Glad our foreign friends can be fucking stupid too

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at January 02, 2014 03:06 PM (HVff2)

97 We had a dog who would start out in big looping circles at a jog (about 6ft or so in diameter) and then run in tighter and tighter circles, faster and faster, until she was pirouetting at the center, at which point she'd stop and dump. If at any time in the circling/spinning routine you interrupted her, she'd have to start over from scratch. She was a puppy mill rescue dog we referred to as our sweet little retard doggie.

Posted by: nnptcgrad at January 02, 2014 03:06 PM (Opyrm)

98 I haven't really thought about this before, but two of the three toilets in our house are aligned north-south.

Posted by: Michael the Hobbit but you must call me Chelsea at January 02, 2014 03:06 PM (7cS5n)

99 Hey! Chebornik! What's that!

Posted by: Looks like dog shit at January 02, 2014 03:06 PM (6fSty)

100
Oh, pixy having fun with image links again.

Try this:

http://tinyurl.com/lnqn7tj

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 02, 2014 03:07 PM (kdS6q)

101 Honey badgers don't give a shit.

Posted by: GnuBreed at January 02, 2014 03:07 PM (cHZB7)

102 And when the magnetic fields are scrambled, they become "confused." You got a bunch of Germans in lab coats standing around taking notes and measurements. Yeah, I was a bit confused.

Posted by: Marmaduke at January 02, 2014 03:07 PM (mIAI5)

103 Dogs always look so vulnerable when they take a shit.

And afterward, so delicious.

Posted by: Barack Obama at January 02, 2014 03:07 PM (vgH+s)

104 Magnetic fields are just terrific... for me to poop on. Posted by: Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at January 02, 2014 06:45 PM (2ljO9) Goddamnit, I swear, I scanned the thread looking for this so I wouldn't look like a retard repeating it. At least this time I remembered to take the sock off. Welcome to the new year, same as the old year...

Posted by: Bill H at January 02, 2014 03:07 PM (3sZO1)

105 Are the posts tonight going in alphabetic order? Pot, Poop, a bit off, but both start with po? WhatÂ’s next? I have a guess but IÂ’m not saying it.

Posted by: Carol at January 02, 2014 03:07 PM (z4WKX)

106 Who wants to poop with the sun in their eyes? So that leaves east to west pooping out.

Posted by: Heck's Angel at January 02, 2014 03:07 PM (rCS6C)

107 Huh.

Apparently Bears (from Chicago) like to shit on their fans.

Jay Cutler gets a seven year deal.

Posted by: Hate Miser at January 02, 2014 03:08 PM (2ljO9)

108 I can see the north star from my crapper.

Posted by: ANGLICO at January 02, 2014 03:08 PM (3yNss)

109 The dog ate my stash!

Posted by: Tommy Chong at January 02, 2014 03:08 PM (6fSty)

110 Now that explains , A LOT.

Posted by: simplemind at January 02, 2014 03:08 PM (hTeQK)

111 True. Plus, low water toilets, so there's always a G-D brush you have to use. Revolting. They really are into scatalogy. Took a few tours of castles while I was in Heidelberg for a month and they made sure to devote significant time to crappers. Posted by: Y-not (@MoxieMom) at January 02, 2014 07:00 PM (zDsvJ) ******** Gawd. Thanks for the info. Wasn't sure about it.

Posted by: Amsterdamned at January 02, 2014 03:09 PM (RJMhd)

112 Maybe that's what this praying towards Mecca thing is really all about.

Posted by: eman at January 02, 2014 03:09 PM (EWsrI)

113 Yup....scientists paid for with federal(German in this case) money to get to the bottom of stuff...in this case shit.

Dog shit....

Posted by: Sven10077 at January 02, 2014 03:09 PM (TE35l)

114 A Tom Turkey's droppings are J shaped. What does this mean? If a hen's are simple blobs, does this mean we should consult a Feminscatologist?

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at January 02, 2014 03:09 PM (l3vZN)

115 years ago, I read about a college perfessor who did an experiment to see if students had ESP, mainly if they could tell if a card was black or red before it was turned over. Perfessor announced that yes, some students could do better than average in saying the card color before the card was turned over. Well, were there some students who did worse thatn average, which would kind of demonstrate that it was all luck?

Believe or not, the perfessor said no, because he believed that the students who did worse than average also had ESP and were intentionally giving wrong answers to mess up the results.

I have no doubt that said perfessor also voted for obama and thinks the southern republicans are the reason obamacare is all mucked up.

Posted by: Mallfly at January 02, 2014 03:10 PM (bJm7W)

116
Jay Cutler gets a seven year deal.

Posted by: Hate Miser at January 02, 2014 07:08 PM (2ljO9)

Does Navycopjoe need to be put on suicide watch?

Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 02, 2014 03:10 PM (lr3d7)

117 We had a dog who would start out in big looping circles at a jog (about 6ft or so in diameter) and then run in tighter and tighter circles, faster and faster, until she was pirouetting at the center, at which point she'd stop and dump. Sounds like her compass was having trouble getting a signal. My GPS takes a little bit to orient sometimes too.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at January 02, 2014 03:10 PM (WhJf8)

118 So what you're saying is, it's important to get your sh*t straight. Allllllllrighty then.

Posted by: Brother Cavil needs to sort his socks at January 02, 2014 03:11 PM (m9V0o)

119 I know I don't sleep as well lying down in certain directions.

Poop? IDK

I poop down usually. Toward the center of the planet.

So I'm gravitationally aligned?

I've never pooped sideways or up so it must be that.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That (Unexpurgated Edition) at January 02, 2014 03:11 PM (LSDdO)

120 I knew there had to be a reason! I'm spinning the house tomorrow, if I can get through the blizzard. Then again, "Men Are Obsolete." So why bother? http://ideas.time.com/2014/01/02/men-are-obsolete/

Posted by: Caliban at January 02, 2014 03:11 PM (2ArJQ)

121 Jay Cutler. Makes Packers fans happy for the next seven years.

Posted by: grammie winger at January 02, 2014 03:11 PM (P6QsQ)

122 This study sounds like it belongs on LoLMyThesis. "I studied whether dogs taking a dump orient North South, they do."

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at January 02, 2014 03:12 PM (WhJf8)

123 From NROÂ’s The Corner, The JEFs half brother is shocked, shocked, to hear that SCOAMF just reentry said he just met him. He met him in the 1980s when the half brother, Mark Obama Ndesandjo, was living as ex pat & was trying to distance himself from his fatherÂ’s name while the JEF was doing the opposite, embracing his fatherÂ’s name. Sorry to be O/T but iÂ’m not very interested in dog poop.

Posted by: Carol at January 02, 2014 03:12 PM (z4WKX)

124 >> Jay Cutler gets a seven year deal.

Sadly, the contract was intercepted before he could sign it.

Posted by: GnuBreed at January 02, 2014 03:12 PM (cHZB7)

125 And here I thought dogs were facing the opposite direction of Mecca. You learn something new every day.

Posted by: AmishDude at January 02, 2014 03:13 PM (T0NGe)

126 Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at January 02, 2014 06:34 PM (QFxY5)

Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence.

Three times is enemy action mr. dildo.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That (Unexpurgated Edition) at January 02, 2014 03:13 PM (LSDdO)

127 You know CAC is going to work this into a post on Canis Major.

Posted by: garrett at January 02, 2014 03:13 PM (mIAI5)

128 @8 Not at Mecca. Note: the Muslim world, or earth as we know it, is still flat. It's just more of their aggressive stupid.

Posted by: Beagle at January 02, 2014 03:14 PM (sOtz/)

129 My dad was in the US army during WW II-- he said you could always smell the Germans in the woods. Always thought he was referring to the sauerkraut...

Posted by: Amsterdamned at January 02, 2014 03:14 PM (RJMhd)

130 They're back ...

Adjustable-rate mortgages, which all but vanished during the housing bust, are again gaining popularity. Home prices and interest rates rose last year, and adjustable mortgages can help keep the monthly payment affordable Â— at least temporarily. Such mortgages offer a lower initial rate, but that rate can rise over time with market changes.

More homeowners in Southern California were willing to take that risk last year. In November, 11.2% of homes bought with loans carried adjustable-rate mortgages, or ARMs. That's double the rate of the same month a year earlier, according to San Diego-based research firm DataQuick.

Posted by: Herbert and Marion Sandler at January 02, 2014 03:14 PM (e8kgV)

131
And in the report, there is a table listing the breed of dog, age and number of observations.

Looks like potential study bias. 2/3 of the urination data points, 2478(!) whizzes, were a single individual Borzoi.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 02, 2014 03:15 PM (kdS6q)

132 Elephant, mouse, human -- all about 20 seconds for a full piss. Posted by: Flatbush Joe at January 02, 2014 06:43 PM (ZPrif) Oh really? Come over to my house and get my dick to pee in 20 seconds. Takes about three minutes. Course, when my dick hits that cold water it sort of freezes up at first.

Posted by: Nip Sip at January 02, 2014 03:15 PM (0FSuD)

133 This post about canine orientation during pooping is actually making me want to stay with the dead-enders on the pot thread.

Posted by: --- at January 02, 2014 03:16 PM (MMC8r)

134 The alignment of your government grant may effect what stupid crap you're willing to study. Film at 11.

Posted by: Ken in NH at January 02, 2014 03:16 PM (OQY/W)

135 Does Navycopjoe need to be put on suicide watch?
Why? Do Bears not know how to shit, themselves?

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at January 02, 2014 03:16 PM (8AHeV)

136 Saw the article title, wondered how far I would have to read before "German" cropped up.

Posted by: Ernst Blofeld at January 02, 2014 03:16 PM (XZWie)

137 >>You know CAC is going to work this into a post on Canis Major With some cannabis minor.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 02, 2014 03:16 PM (g1DWB)

138 My dad was in the US army during WW II-- He said you could always smell the Germans in the woods. I imagine that's true of any group that spends a while away from showers. IE: almost any soldier in the field. Or the Indian guys at my work.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at January 02, 2014 03:16 PM (WhJf8)

139 I saw Pot Dick open for Jane's Addiction at Lollapalooza in 92.

Posted by: Beagle at January 02, 2014 03:17 PM (sOtz/)

140 Borzois are idiots.

Posted by: grammie winger at January 02, 2014 03:17 PM (P6QsQ)

141 ..who knew it was because the Germans were shitting in the woods playing with their turd winks.

Posted by: Amsterdamned at January 02, 2014 03:17 PM (RJMhd)

142 I live in California. I keep my toilet on a gimbal.

Posted by: Hepcat at January 02, 2014 03:17 PM (Q4mug)

143 Sorry to be O/T but iÂ’m not very interested in dog poop.
Party pooper. Or is it the other way around?

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at January 02, 2014 03:18 PM (8AHeV)

144 cannabis minor. Posted by: JackStraw at January 02, 2014 07:16 PM (g1DWB) Those two words never go together.

Posted by: CAC at January 02, 2014 03:18 PM (ssRIM)

145 139 My dad was in the US army during WW II-- He said you could always smell the Germans in the woods. NATO had to tell them to change their underwear at least once a week. True.

Posted by: Nip Sip at January 02, 2014 03:18 PM (0FSuD)

146 I imagine that's true of any group that spends a while away from showers. IE: almost any soldier in the field. Or the Indian guys at my work. Posted by: bonhomme at January 02, 2014 07:16 PM (WhJf

******** Ya--but the Germans were turning it over and analyzing it. Could be unknown reason number 2,000 why the Germans lost WW I and II.

Posted by: Amsterdamned at January 02, 2014 03:19 PM (RJMhd)

147 This is just like the discredited magnetic cows from 2011 http://www.nature.com/news/the-mystery-of-the-magnetic-cows-1.9350 someone is getting research grants until they retire on this....

Posted by: Mike Mikes at January 02, 2014 03:19 PM (YWvzQ)

148 He said you could always smell the Germans in the woods. NATO had to tell them to change their underwear at least once a week. True. Posted by: Nip Sip at January 02, 2014 07:18 PM (0FSuD) But they have window boxes!

Posted by: Caliban at January 02, 2014 03:20 PM (2ArJQ)

149 Classy start to 2014. Pelosi shower pics next?

Posted by: eman at January 02, 2014 03:20 PM (EWsrI)

150 If money were no object all mine would face mecca, just for shits and giggles.

Posted by: UWP at January 02, 2014 03:20 PM (2hQRj)

151 In Colorado you can legally buy magnetically aligned shit and smoke it.

Posted by: Minuteman at January 02, 2014 03:20 PM (C9gyC)

152 What happens if your dog swallows a magnet?

Posted by: t-dubyah-d at January 02, 2014 03:22 PM (u6lBN)

153 NATO had to tell them to change their underwear at least once a week. True. Have you ever seen the US health class movie reels from the 50s and before? They *suggest* bathing once a week. Holy sweat-hogs batman. If I go three days of no bathing I smell like a mule. Can you imagine farmer pubescent teenagers only bathing once a week?

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at January 02, 2014 03:22 PM (WhJf8)

154 Borzois are the left-behinders of the dog world. Anybody who bases their scientific study on the behavior of a Borzoi must be a doper.

Posted by: grammie winger at January 02, 2014 03:22 PM (P6QsQ)

155 I installed my toilet on a lazy-susan. I just spin it around according to the compass. Problem solved.

Posted by: johnd01 at January 02, 2014 03:22 PM (r0+v0)

156 146 139 My dad was in the US army during WW II-- He said you could always smell the Germans in the woods. NATO had to tell them to change their underwear at least once a week. True. Posted by: Nip Sip at January 02, 2014 07:18 PM (0FSuD) ******* I could tell you stories about the Aussies. They'll back up any civilized "system". I think that's why they always come with shovels.

Posted by: Amsterdamned at January 02, 2014 03:22 PM (RJMhd)

157 What about junkyard dogs? Surely they align with the electromagnet crane.

Posted by: eman at January 02, 2014 03:22 PM (EWsrI)

158 Our dogs tended to crap with their backs towards us or each other, or if alone with their backs to the house and facing the back of the yard. Safe area or part of the pack to defend from behind; the bad place full of coyotes, deer, and such where they can see.

Posted by: Ranba Ral at January 02, 2014 03:25 PM (G99e4)

159 I'll have to bust out a compass next time my dog drops a deuce, but as far as urination goes it seems like he's always aligned parallel to the fence he's marking....

Posted by: aferalduck at January 02, 2014 03:25 PM (E+fAf)

160 I'm not sure if this has been mentioned yet but i think we should all hold off judgement until we hear what Martin Bashir thinks.

Posted by: johnd01 at January 02, 2014 03:26 PM (r0+v0)

161 @147 I read a book by a German soldier in WWII who said his father told him anyone who had a map of Germany and the USSR knew they would lose WWII. Not a loyal Nazi apparently. Even Hitler supposedly said if he had known about their tanks and numbers of tanks he would not have invaded. Forget which book that was in. Only Stalin's trust in Hitler, officer purge, and slow reaction to Barbarossa allowed the huge early success. Stalin did not believe his intel for days while the panzers rolled for hundreds of miles.

Posted by: Beagle at January 02, 2014 03:27 PM (sOtz/)

162 At night, they poop in alignment with me.

Posted by: Sirius at January 02, 2014 03:27 PM (HsJeN)

163 I could tell you stories about the Aussies. They'll back up any civilized "system". Vegemite, not even once.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at January 02, 2014 03:27 PM (9PrpA)

164 Can you imagine farmer pubescent teenagers only bathing once a week? ----- Mmmmmm... Yes I can.

Posted by: Hairy Reed at January 02, 2014 03:29 PM (sOtz/)

165 I piss downwind

Posted by: Sam Peterson at January 02, 2014 03:30 PM (07nix)

166 From Reason's Out of Control Policy blog on the wonders of Portland's Smart Growth. --- PortlandÂ’s urban growth boundary has not led to increased transit usage. Driving, either alone or as part of a carpool, is by far the dominant mode. Despite the urban growth boundaries and all the money poured into construction of light-rail and streetcars, public transport still accounts for less than 7.0% of all travel in the urbanized area. In 1985 before MetroÂ’s transit system was built, 2.1% of motorized travel was on transit. In 2009 after billions was spent to build the system, 2.1% of motorized travel was on transit. In 1980 PortlandÂ’s work-trip transit market share was 9.5%. By 2007 it had fallen to 6.8%. So Portland spent billions of dollars to replace buses with trains and the percentage of people commuting by transit decreased. Despite the hype, PortlandÂ’s share of bicycling and walking are not that impressive. Even with all the bike paths and the extra wide roads in the region, biking only accounts for 2.5% of all travel in the urbanized area. In fact more than twice as many people work at homeÂ—a travel mode that requires virtually no resources at all. ... growth boundaries have major negatives. They may protect land but they also increase housing prices for the poorest residents. In fact, considering all factors such as income, college education, demand, etc. Portland was 37th of 37th or worst in housing affordability in the country. Growth boundaries have increased gentrification in some areas of downtown Portland, where wealthy individuals are displacing poor families. Low-income residents have been forced out of the Portland metro because there is a lack of affordable housing. Remaining lower income residents have much lower rates of high school completion and a much higher unemployment rate than in comparable metro areas across the country. Portland also has one of the highest rates of homelessness of any city in the country.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at January 02, 2014 03:30 PM (ZPrif)

167 I worked for a southern gent that used 2 bent coat hangers to find leaking underground water pipes at the public works here. Worked every time I saw it. "Dig right there boy"

Posted by: dumbartist at January 02, 2014 03:30 PM (ahBY0)

168 HQ Style Guide new usage: Feces.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at January 02, 2014 03:30 PM (8AHeV)

169 I watched a nice Natl Geo special on the Discovery channel the other night. Tom Selleck narrated while a Fox dove headfirst into the snow to catch little critters. He said that the Fox's kill rate was not so good in general and he was very prone to distraction because he was listening for tiny scratchy sounds and mystery emanations under several feet of snow but increased to 75% when he hunted along the North-South Magnetic Axis. (Facing North)

Posted by: Daybrother at January 02, 2014 03:30 PM (pvn7o)

170 I was stuck in a small room with 7 South Koreans for a week ( I was training them). Their breath bleached the color out 'o my shirts, I swear.

Nice people, don't get me wrong, but they eat garlic in superhuman quantities.

As far as I know, they don't align themselves with the Earth's magnetic field when they crap, and they do seem to bathe regularly (I think - couldn't tell!).

Posted by: West at January 02, 2014 03:30 PM (rBV8E)

171 I read a book by a German soldier in WWII who said his father told him anyone who had a map of Germany and the USSR knew they would lose WWII. Not a loyal Nazi apparently. Even Hitler supposedly said if he had known about their tanks and numbers of tanks he would not have invaded. Forget which book that was in. Only Stalin's trust in Hitler, officer purge, and slow reaction to Barbarossa allowed the huge early success. Stalin did not believe his intel for days while the panzers rolled for hundreds of miles. Posted by: Beagle at January 02, 2014 07:27 PM (sOtz/) There is some documentary where they play Hitler secretly recorded. He's speaking to the Finns about the soviets. He's speaking in a normal voice and praising the russians for the number of tanks they produced. I believe this was a couple of months after the surrender at Stalingrad. It's pretty weird to hear him so rational.

Posted by: Bean Pies, ey? at January 02, 2014 03:31 PM (Qev5V)

172 Pelosi shower pics next? Posted by: eman at January 02, 2014 07:20 PM There went supper.

Posted by: olddog in mo at January 02, 2014 03:32 PM (EKOIc)

173 I worked for a southern gent that used 2 bent coat hangers to find leaking underground water pipes at the public works here. Worked every time I saw it. Hint, the grass grows really well there.

Posted by: garrett at January 02, 2014 03:32 PM (mIAI5)

174 Holy sweat-hogs batman. If I go three days of no bathing I smell like a mule. Can you imagine farmer pubescent teenagers only bathing once a week? I wonder about this at times, because I grew up in such an environment. We did take baths more often during the school year, but in the summerÂ—when we were most activeÂ—we took baths on Saturday night. (We moved to Â“the cityÂ”Â—about population 700Â—when I was about 12, and at that point we had a shower, and started showering every night or so.) Nowadays if I go three days, as you say, I canÂ’t stand it, and thatÂ’s without much in the way of physical activity. But I donÂ’t remember being particularly inconvenienced at 10, although I did prefer not to be the third of my brethren to use the tub on Saturday nights.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at January 02, 2014 03:32 PM (WX3R9)

175 And now that you all have satisfied your insatiable curiosity regarding canine defecation habits, can I interest any of you in a scientific study of humans, their political party affiliation, and its correlation with their ability to fool a polygraph test.

Posted by: CyberCipher's Collie at January 02, 2014 03:32 PM (j0N6K)

176 Oh my! Thanks FB for recommending this page. Why did I deserve this? Obviously been naughty or something? um Merry Belated Christmas for the Horde. I guess.

http://tinyurl.com/ltxo75u

Posted by: Chelsea Puma (+SmuD) at January 02, 2014 03:32 PM (cubpP)

177 Two bitches one magnetosphere?

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at January 02, 2014 03:34 PM (dvRYt)

178 I worked for a southern gent that used 2 bent coat hangers to find leaking underground water pipes at the public works here. Worked every time I saw it. "Dig right there boy" Interesting. I wonder if he was pulling your leg, and had another method that he was really using.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at January 02, 2014 03:34 PM (9PrpA)

179 >>Meanwhile in California a man who is an illegal alien has passed the bar.. Judging from the number of people they kill while drunk driving I didn't think an illegal ever passed a bar.

Posted by: Aviator at January 02, 2014 03:34 PM (DI+ja)

180 Posted by: bonhomme at January 02, 2014 07:16 PM (WhJf

It's not so much the lack of showers as it is the lack of toilet facilities and toilet paper and maybe having to lie in what you just did because of an assault on your position.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That (Unexpurgated Edition) at January 02, 2014 03:34 PM (LSDdO)

181 Germans obsessing about poop...

There's something you don't see every day.

Posted by: A Balrog of Morgoth at January 02, 2014 03:35 PM (Q9qpj)

182
We found no differences in alignment of females and males during defecation and of females during urination, which might be related to a similar posture the animals are adopting during defecation (in all dogs) and urination (in females)

Urinating males have a slightly different preference to orient their body axis than urinating females (cf. Figure 3); this could be caused by leg lifting during urination in males.

Or perhaps magnetic dorks?

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 02, 2014 03:36 PM (kdS6q)

183 Dowsing rods are a great, classic scam. The old scams are the best scams.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at January 02, 2014 03:36 PM (ZPrif)

184 my dog gets corn-fused

Posted by: Bigby's Snow-Shoveling Hands at January 02, 2014 03:38 PM (RLTt1)

185 184 Flatbush Joe at January 02, 2014 07:36 PM (ZPrif)

they're not often a scam in Ohio.....

of course that's geography for you

Posted by: Sven10077 at January 02, 2014 03:38 PM (TE35l)

186 It's not so much the lack of showers as it is the lack of toilet facilities and toilet paper and maybe having to lie in what you just did because of an assault on your position. Completely understandable.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at January 02, 2014 03:38 PM (45N4D)

187 >>Meanwhile in California a man who is an illegal alien has passed the bar.. >Judging from the number of people they kill while drunk driving I didn't think an illegal ever passed a bar. Bazinga.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 02, 2014 03:38 PM (g1DWB)

188 Borzois are idiots.
Posted by: grammie winger at January 02, 2014 07:17 PM (P6QsQ)

He's just a little . . . high strung.

All the sight hounds are hyper and high strung.

They're the canine world's meth heads.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That (Unexpurgated Edition) at January 02, 2014 03:38 PM (LSDdO)

189 Dowsing is a funny scam. People with real hydrographic knowledge pretending to be half-assed warlocks.

Posted by: Lincolntf at January 02, 2014 03:39 PM (ZshNr)

190 From The Straight Dope: Although divining has been around in various forms for millennia, the well-known forked stick method appears to have been devised in the mining districts of Germany (you can supposedly find minerals with a dowsing rod, too) in the late 15th or early 16th century. It was first formally described in an essay in 1556, and since then has been spread around the world by European colonists. In the past 400 years, more than a thousand essays, books, and pamphlets have been published on the subject. Needless to say, dowsing is entirely a fraud, although often an unconscious one. Innumerable experiments, beginning in 1641--that's right, 1641--have demonstrated that: (a) The presence of water has no discernible effect on a rod held above it, whether the rod is made of wood, metal, or anything else. (b) The success rate for diviners is about the same as that for people who use the hit-and-miss method when looking for water. (c) Geologists trained to recognize telltale surface clues (certain kinds of rocks and plants, various topographical features) will invariably far outdo dowsers in predicting where water will be found, and at what depth. Nevertheless, belief in dowsing has persisted, partly because most people secretly want to believe in magic, partly because water is fairly easy to find in most parts of the inhabitable world, and partly because the plunging-stick phenomenon seems so convincing to untutored observers. It's worth noting that in many parts of the eastern U.S. it is virtually impossible to dig a hole and not find water. Granted it's tougher in the west, but I lived in Tucson for a spell and they had gotten well-digging down to such a science that the success rate approached 100 percent. Even over complex hydrological formations, the success rate by the hit-and-miss method is often as high as 75 percent.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at January 02, 2014 03:39 PM (ZPrif)

191 >>Meanwhile in California a man who is an illegal alien has passed the bar..

Yeah. Taking the hourly fees that Americans won't take.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 02, 2014 03:39 PM (8ZskC)

192 Dowsing rods are a great, classic scam. Someone say Dowsing Rod?

Posted by: Carlos Danger at January 02, 2014 03:40 PM (mIAI5)

193 #174...not over a foot of frost...

Posted by: dumbartist at January 02, 2014 03:40 PM (ahBY0)

194 It's pretty weird to hear him so rational.
He was shitting facing magnetic north at the time following Blondi's lead.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at January 02, 2014 03:40 PM (8AHeV)

195 Great. Now those lousy stinking ASPCA ads are showing.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 02, 2014 03:40 PM (DmNpO)

196 Maybe I should keep a log of which direction I face when urinating outdoors.

Posted by: fluffy at January 02, 2014 06:41 PM (Ua6T/)

Pro tip: wind direction matters. A lot.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 02, 2014 03:40 PM (8Fl6F)

197 So when the poles reverse all the dogs will crap in the house?

Posted by: Beagle at January 02, 2014 03:40 PM (sOtz/)

198 And all this time we were worried about the stars aligning.

Posted by: William Shakespeare at January 02, 2014 03:40 PM (2ArJQ)

199 190 Lincolntf at January 02, 2014 07:39 PM (ZshNr)

I always enjoyed gauging people's gullibility to it.

I notice the magic never says "here" on granite when looking a water vein

Posted by: Sven10077 at January 02, 2014 03:41 PM (TE35l)

200 182 Germans obsessing about poop...

There's something you don't see every day.

You try a Diet of Worms and you will too.

Posted by: Martin Luther at January 02, 2014 03:42 PM (6TB1Z)

201 There was some other work on dogs and magnetic field sensing that was interesting. The casual link between solar activity, the earth magnetic field, and seismic activity is bothersome.

Posted by: Jean at January 02, 2014 03:42 PM (4JkHl)

202 I'm mildly impressed when somebody can pull off a 500 year old scam.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at January 02, 2014 03:43 PM (ZPrif)

203 Wow Aviator, you carpet bombed on first pass...

Posted by: Chelsea Puma (+SmuD) at January 02, 2014 03:43 PM (cubpP)

204 Shouldn't be much frost over a pipe leak.

Posted by: garrett at January 02, 2014 03:43 PM (mIAI5)

205 I wonder if any of those Poles kicked the dogs for shitting on them?

Posted by: Bigby's Snow-Shoveling Hands at January 02, 2014 03:43 PM (RLTt1)

206 Germans obsessing about poop... There's something you don't see every day. I make it art!

Posted by: Poopcaso[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at January 02, 2014 03:43 PM (45N4D)

207 If I put a cassette tape in my back pocket I shit my pants. Every time.

Posted by: Dang at January 02, 2014 03:43 PM (MNq6o)

208 Honey Badger don't give a shit...

... about magnetic fields.

Posted by: Honey Badger at January 02, 2014 03:44 PM (2ljO9)

209 192 >>Meanwhile in California a man who is an illegal alien has passed the bar.. Yeah. Taking the hourly fees that Americans won't take. Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 02, 2014 07:39 PM (8ZskC) Now that illegals are taking work from lawyers, do you think the whole amnesty train will derail?

Posted by: Jean at January 02, 2014 03:44 PM (4JkHl)

210 202 Jean at January 02, 2014 07:42 PM (4JkHl)

I didn't post last night about the Earth winking at us and a die off at random Jean.

The Seismic spike/solar flare/magnetospehere theory bothers me....

Solar Flares *do* alter magnetic waves, Earth is shifting polarity, if A+B=s C being altered....

wheeee

There's dead Volcanoes in texas

Posted by: Sven10077 at January 02, 2014 03:45 PM (TE35l)

211 Jean, we can certainly hope so. Dueling lawyers. No matter who dies, we win.

Posted by: Chelsea Puma (+SmuD) at January 02, 2014 03:46 PM (cubpP)

212 190 Dowsing is a funny scam. People with real hydrographic knowledge pretending to be half-assed warlocks. I can understand why you would say that. I thought that way myself. Then thirty years ago we hired an old Yankee well driller by the name of Roger Straiton to do our new well. He was the least pretentious person you could imagine--dressed like a Yankee and hardly said a word to me. I didn't even know he was a water witch until he arrived. Using a fiberglass divining rod, he walked back and forth in the only area on our 1/2 acre in-town plot where we could even drill a well. I saw that when he crossed a certain line, the rod would dip so forcefully that he seemed to be having trouble controlling it. He drilled there, and we wound up with 20 gals/min at 170 feet. Unheard of in this part of New England.

Posted by: Caliban at January 02, 2014 03:46 PM (2ArJQ)

213 And what is it with Germans and interest in actions engaged in simultaneously with defecation? I'm German but I don't get the fascination.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at January 02, 2014 03:47 PM (dvRYt)

214 >>>There's dead Volcanoes in texas

no virgins to throw in?

Posted by: Bigby's Snow-Shoveling Hands at January 02, 2014 03:47 PM (RLTt1)

215 I like GretaÂ’s show, I miss it at ten pm. IÂ”m glad she has Bolton on. I like John Bolton, heÂ’d make a better SOS than that fool Kerry.

Posted by: Carol at January 02, 2014 03:48 PM (z4WKX)

216 #191...the straight dope is good stuff but this dude found sewer lines with those things regularly...just a good ol boy from down south that worked his balls off...

Posted by: dumbartist at January 02, 2014 03:48 PM (ahBY0)

217 215 Bigby's Snow-Shoveling Hands at January 02, 2014 07:47 PM (RLTt1)

In our defense, we only got control of her in 1836.

//General Sam Houston esq

Posted by: Sven10077 at January 02, 2014 03:48 PM (TE35l)

218 Meanwhile in California a man who is an illegal alien has passed the bar exam and can practice law in the state of California.
http://www.staradvertiser.com/news/breaking/238478961.html

Posted by: Chelsea Puma (+SmuD) at January 02, 2014 07:03 PM (cubpP)

New TV series in 3, 2, 1.. "Wetside", in which a courageous illegal alien lawyer solves crimes from his wheelchair.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 02, 2014 03:48 PM (8Fl6F)

219 36 Elephant, mouse, human -- all about 20 seconds for a full piss. Posted by: Flatbush Joe at January 02, 2014 06:43 PM (ZPrif) It took 25sec for the fast predator lizards to hone in on the noise and smell of primordial squirrel piss, hence that hard time limit has filtered the long pissers from the gene pool.

Posted by: Jean at January 02, 2014 03:49 PM (4JkHl)

220 @177 There is a Santa for everyone. Naughty, but nice.

Posted by: Beagle at January 02, 2014 03:49 PM (sOtz/)

221 ya know? nood posted and nobody made an Al Gore/lowest chakra joke

/depressed

Posted by: Bigby's Snow-Shoveling Hands at January 02, 2014 03:50 PM (RLTt1)

222 When I remodeled our bathroom, I made sure that our toilet faced Mecca.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 02, 2014 03:50 PM (MrYud)

223 My dad always made sure that the house he built was square to the cardinal directions... It was *important*. When I was a child on sleep-overs I'd find that I turned during the night to the orientation that I normally sleep. Considering that our house was square, my bed square to a wall, I slept square to the Earth. Reorienting myself while I was sleeping somewhere else happened several times. When I moved away from home the unsquare to cardinal directions buildings bothered me and I usually wasn't comfortable until I figured out where North was. But I've gotten used to it over the years and don't rotate in my sleep any more.

Posted by: Synova at January 02, 2014 03:52 PM (7/PU+)

224 They've done experiments to train people to tell directions even while blindfolded and it seems to work. Before I trained myself out of it, I probably could have found North on a cloudy day.

Posted by: Synova at January 02, 2014 03:56 PM (7/PU+)

225 When I walk my dog, she always faces away from me when she takes a dump, no matter where we are headed. I've always wondered about that, but the whole pack behavior thing about having their backs protected when they're crapping sounds like it makes sense. Yeah, I call BS on the study.

Posted by: Pooper Scooper at January 02, 2014 03:57 PM (8HiDF)

226 My dogs choose to shit in my backyard. Their preferred alignment is with their ass somewhat aligned to the ground ... with a stance something akin to trying to pass a peach seed. YMMV.

Posted by: ScoggDog at January 02, 2014 04:05 PM (6/+vz)

227

What a crappy job for the research intern

It had to be said

Posted by: PMRich at January 02, 2014 04:06 PM (KDUNf)

228 Using a fiberglass divining rod, he walked back and forth in the only area on our 1/2 acre in-town plot where we could even drill a well. I saw that when he crossed a certain line, the rod would dip so forcefully that he seemed to be having trouble controlling it. He drilled there, and we wound up with 20 gals/min at 170 feet. Unheard of in this part of New England.

Posted by: Caliban at January 02, 2014 07:46 PM (2ArJQ)

Well, there you go. It's confirmation bias. Chances are, any place you drilled within that small area would have given you some water. I'd say dowsing is not necessarily so much a scam, meaning that its practitioners are wilfully attempting to defraud people, as it is a case of individuals using their five senses on an unconscious level, and letting the dowsing rod simply act as the indicator of what their brain unconsciously calculates. Think of it as a tool that lets a user bypass the constrictions of modern logical thought, and use the instinctive animal part of his brain to do what animals do instinctively, namely seek water.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 02, 2014 04:13 PM (8Fl6F)

229 Think of it as a tool that lets a user bypass the constrictions of modern logical thought, and use the instinctive animal part of his brain to do what animals do instinctively, namely seek water. Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 02, 2014 08:13 PM (8Fl6F) I don't disagree with this. Just reporting what I saw. I will mention that he clearly thought of what he was doing as simply a way to find water. He had no consciousness of himself as a "water witch."

Posted by: Caliban at January 02, 2014 04:17 PM (2ArJQ)

230

"Have you ever seen the US health class movie reels from the 50s and before? They *suggest* bathing once a week"

That's true. I have a high school "health class" book from the late '40's, called "You and Others." I picked it up at a rummage sale a few years ago. It advises weekly baths. And tells girls not to wash their hair more than once a week - because that strips away essential oils.

In the '40's and '50's, many people were still one generation away from farms where water had to be heated on the stove and dumped in a wash bucket. People didn't want to do that every day, especially when you were headed out to the fields and would get dirty and sweaty again in no time.

I'm thinking that when Americans were bathing once a week, the Euros were bathing once every two weeks. And when we got on board with daily showers, they moved up to a bath a week. I've read that well into the '60's, many European homes lacked indoor bathrooms and in many city dwellings, you had to share a common bathroom with everyone else on that floor.

Posted by: Donna V. at January 02, 2014 04:20 PM (R3gO3)

231 "you had to share a common bathroom with everyone else on that floor."

Yeah, like the boarding room place I stayed in for quite a while when I was working my way through school - in 1977 or so (That was a pretty low point for me).

Posted by: West at January 02, 2014 04:32 PM (rBV8E)

232 So they studied an average of only 14 defecations and 40 urinations per dog per year.

Posted by: ralph at January 02, 2014 04:34 PM (CvOmK)

233 Get off my magnetic field!

Posted by: Judge_Roy_Bean at January 02, 2014 04:53 PM (Lu5ZN)

234 Can this phenomenon be extrapolated to sitzpinklers?

Posted by: Dr. Scientist at January 02, 2014 04:55 PM (Xcqzy)

235 REMEMBER on IN SEARCH OF when Spock investigated DOWSING rods and found that they actually WORKED?

Posted by: jakeman Plover at January 02, 2014 05:13 PM (vH4YP)

236 "...and they use them as clues to navigating targeting the local environment."

FIFY

Posted by: Jimmy don\'t play that at January 02, 2014 05:29 PM (xhiwt)

237 I watched my Maltese crap facing about 280 degrees today. Guess he needs a compass.

Posted by: kansas at January 02, 2014 05:33 PM (uBVzH)

238 I have questions.

1. What sort of person conceives of, designs, and executes a study of whether dogs align themselves with magnetic fields when they poop?

2. Who the hell funds such a study?

3. Why?

Posted by: Adjoran at January 02, 2014 09:43 PM (473jB)

239 Crapping dogs is proof positive of our primal instinctiveness. Go ahead admit you tolerate, even enjoy watching your dog take a dump whereas a foreign dog doing same repulses you. It is the same as being able to change your own offspring's diaper whereas other also repulse. We are tribal creatures who find pleasure in confirming the bonds with our family members, including dogs. Fact.

Posted by: PC at January 03, 2014 10:00 AM (d1qVL)

240 For all the same reasons central govt attempts to weaken family bonding is a dangerous act that can lead to all sorts of evil. People instinctively are wary of others and it increases the further away they are geographically. Neighborhood closer than community, community closer than state, state closer than nation, nation closer than world. A one world govt is going to lead to unprecedented acts of evil in order to put everyone in the same neighborhood.

Posted by: PC at January 03, 2014 10:06 AM (d1qVL)

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