February 25, 2014

Mollie Hemmingway: The Top 12 Moments from the Age of Austerity
— Ace

You'll like this.

The comic John Mulaney has a joke where he describes Donald Trump this way:

At this point, like, Donald Trump is not just a rich man, Donald Trump is almost like what a hobo imagines a rich man to be.

It's like years ago Trump was walking through an alley, and he heard some guy just like, "Oh boy oh boy, as soon as my number comes in, I'll put up tall buildin's with my name on them, I'll have fine golden hair, and a tv show where I fire people with my children."

And Trump was like, "That is how I'll live my life. Thank you, Hobo, for that life-plan."

A similar observation could be made of Obama (who is in fact a rich man, thanks to two autobiographies written before he'd actually done anything, and thanks also to Tony Rezko): Obama is what struggling-to-comfortable progressives think they'd do if they became rich. "Why, if I were rich, I'd have swank parties with Sarah Jessica Parker and Anna Wintour. I'd take $100 million family vacations to Africa, because Multicultural and Teachable Moment. I'd have Paul McCartney and Melissa Etheridge play songs for my birthday, and I'd hang out with Jay-Z and Beyonce. And, whenever I was in doubt, I'd hold a conclave with Oprah and fill my Soul Canteen from her Wisdom Well."

Posted by: Ace at 11:35 AM | Comments (276)
Post contains 249 words, total size 2 kb.

1 I'd hold a conclave with Oprah and fill my Soul Canteen from her Wisdom Well." That is it. That is exactly it. I still say the best part of any Trump campaign would be trying to dig up dirt on him. What's the MFM going to say, he didn't bang those twin bikini models?

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Mmmm. Blondies with whipped cream. at February 25, 2014 11:37 AM (VtjlW)

2 I'd have a decent-looking wife.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at February 25, 2014 11:37 AM (8ZskC)

3 And I am not going to go get the others. It's roomy here. *stretches out*

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Mmmm. Blondies with whipped cream. at February 25, 2014 11:37 AM (VtjlW)

4 I'd have a decent-looking wife, Barry.

Fixed

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at February 25, 2014 11:39 AM (8ZskC)

5 >> I'd hold a conclave with Oprah and fill my Soul Canteen from her Wisdom Well. Heh. Where do you come up with this stuff?

Posted by: JackStraw at February 25, 2014 11:39 AM (g1DWB)

6 *stretches out*

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Mmmm. Blondies with whipped cream. at February 25, 2014 03:37 PM (VtjlW)

Check those corners!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at February 25, 2014 11:39 AM (QFxY5)

7 And I am not going to go get the others. It's roomy here. That's because we're still below devising innovative ways to desecrate the grave of Hanoi Jane with warm bodily fluids.

Posted by: SE Pa Moron [/i] at February 25, 2014 11:40 AM (CnA98)

8 What???


No Obama fires a shotgun in a pretense to show he can shoot skeet????

Posted by: EC at February 25, 2014 11:40 AM (GQ8sn)

9 >>Obama is what struggling-to-comfortable progressives think they'd do if they became rich. "

+1 there. 

I've often though that he's posing as a rich person for the benefit of his consituency.   Not that he isn't rich, but that he's deliberately doing these things as an external signifier of his success.
 

Posted by: looking closely at February 25, 2014 11:40 AM (6Q9g2)

10 Ah don't worry they can take it out of the Military Budget

Posted by: Nevergiveup at February 25, 2014 11:40 AM (t3UFN)

11 >>> >> I'd hold a conclave with Oprah and fill my Soul Canteen from her Wisdom Well. Heh. Where do you come up with this stuff? ... just an easy joke type I do. Like for sex, you can tell a girl you're going to blow your Pecker Snot into her Muff-Hankie.

Posted by: ace at February 25, 2014 11:40 AM (/FnUH)

12 And, whenever I was in doubt, I'd hold a conclave with Oprah and fill my Soul Canteen from her Wisdom Well.

Phew.  I almost didn't make it to the barrel.  I'd hate to get my vomit on ace's shoes.


Posted by: HR, watching scripts run at February 25, 2014 11:41 AM (ZKzrr)

13 >>I'd have a decent-looking wife.

Wife?
I'd have a super-hawt mistress.

Posted by: looking closely at February 25, 2014 11:41 AM (6Q9g2)

14 i think maybe I got the joke from "soulpatterns and mindthoughts"

Posted by: ace at February 25, 2014 11:42 AM (/FnUH)

15 Hah.....good shit dude.

Posted by: eleven at February 25, 2014 11:42 AM (KXm42)

16 i think maybe I got the joke from "soulpatterns and mindthoughts"



Classic.

Posted by: EC at February 25, 2014 11:42 AM (GQ8sn)

17 #11
Gesundheit

And ick.


Posted by: looking closely at February 25, 2014 11:42 AM (6Q9g2)

18 Why does he need to be rich to have expensive parties and vacations?  We are paying for them both.

Posted by: Vic[/i] at February 25, 2014 11:42 AM (T2V/1)

19

Ace,

 

How Dare You!  How can a little nameless peon like you questions your betters?!?! 

 

Know your Place, You Peasant. 

Posted by: Your Betters at February 25, 2014 11:42 AM (D+lxs)

20 Hey where the hell is that pizza delivery from St. Loius?

Is it free if it's not here in 30 min or less?

Ah, who cares, I'm not paying for it anyway.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Posted by: SCOAMT at February 25, 2014 11:42 AM (UIxS+)

21 OK, I know nothing about fashion, but looking at #3 I immediately imagined Chandler asking "Could you BE wearing any more necklaces?"

Posted by: Waterhouse at February 25, 2014 11:43 AM (t8ySh)

22 Question. Do they KNOW they are disingenuous assholes who tell us about sacrifice while they live like royaltyÂ…Â….orÂ…... are they completely oblivious to their hypocrite, shove it in your face lifestyle?

Posted by: Seems legit at February 25, 2014 11:43 AM (A98Xu)

23 As before, her name's Hemingway, not Hemmingway.

Posted by: Pedantry Q. Grammatic at February 25, 2014 11:43 AM (PMGbu)

24 just an easy joke type I do. Like for sex, you can tell a girl you're going to blow your Pecker Snot into her Muff-Hankie. Posted by: ace at February 25, 2014 03:40 PM (/FnUH) ********* Gawd--you are sooo grosss!!

Posted by: Babba Wa Wa's Gidget at February 25, 2014 11:43 AM (RJMhd)

25 There are three groups who are doing really well financially.... IT Guys who sell other people information (Google et al). Banks, who are in consolidation mode due to crony capitalistic rules. And Politicians... who always seem to retire rich...

Posted by: Romeo13 at February 25, 2014 11:43 AM (84gbM)

26 I'd have  five sexbots.  And  swim  in a pool filled with tears.

Posted by: eleven at February 25, 2014 11:43 AM (KXm42)

27 thanks, Pendant.

Posted by: ace at February 25, 2014 11:43 AM (/FnUH)

28 I'm draining my canteen on Jane Fonda's grave and it ain't filled with wisdom.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at February 25, 2014 11:44 AM (oFCZn)

29 And I will now that I am wonderful because wonderful things happen to me.  If I weren't wonderful, then that wouldn't happen.  And since I am wonderful then I must share my wonderfulness with everyone by forcing my fads and whims on the population at large because they need my moral guidance and wonderfulness.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Winter of Discontent will End! The Flowers of Fury will be here for Spring Planting at February 25, 2014 11:44 AM (hLRSq)

30 Some people* are in awe of shiny things, and think royalty deserve it. And, they have no idea what hypocrisy means. *insecure; lacking confidence; hungry for free stuff; stupid

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at February 25, 2014 11:44 AM (IXrOn)

31 God, I mean thanks Pedant.

Posted by: ace at February 25, 2014 11:44 AM (/FnUH)

32 Wagyu or Kobe? Discuss

Posted by: Moochelle Obama at February 25, 2014 11:44 AM (8ZskC)

33 of all the times to misspell pedant.

Posted by: ace at February 25, 2014 11:44 AM (/FnUH)

34 Twerkin' the merkin.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at February 25, 2014 11:45 AM (kVfSG)

35

Now I have to go rewatch that John Mulaney stand-up routine from Comedy Central.  Good stuff.

 

I just love how Obammy and his cohorts are trying to frame the last 5-6 years as an "Age of Austerity," just so they can make it look like spending more money is NEW.

 

And I fail to see how slashing military funding signals an 'end to austerity,' but what do I know?  I'm just a fucking girl.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/b][/i] at February 25, 2014 11:45 AM (4df7R)

36 Heh.

Posted by: Pedantry Q. Grammatic at February 25, 2014 11:45 AM (PMGbu)

37 I thought that gaggle of necklaces at #3 was ugly as Hell.  She needs to get a btter fashion adviser who did not grow up in the 'Hood.

Posted by: Vic[/i] at February 25, 2014 11:45 AM (T2V/1)

38 of all the times to misspell pedant.

I here I thought it was deliberate, a sly joke. Now you've destroyed my illusions.

Posted by: Waterhouse at February 25, 2014 11:46 AM (t8ySh)

39

I'd have one staircase just going up

 

And one just going down

 

And a third one just for show.

Posted by: Topol at February 25, 2014 11:46 AM (eytER)

40 Platinum plated chair.

Posted by: Clint at February 25, 2014 11:46 AM (IXrOn)

41 How dare you question the offerings we make to God.  (Not Obama, by the way.  He's just our God's latest prophet.)

Posted by: Lefties Everywhere at February 25, 2014 11:46 AM (8GKDa)

42 Freudian?

Posted by: Babba Wa Wa's Gidget at February 25, 2014 11:46 AM (RJMhd)

43 I will have you know that instead of the 1787 Chateau Lafite, we use the 1945 Jeroboam of Chateau Mouton-Rothschild to bathe the dogs.  If that's not austerity, I don't know what is!

Posted by: Barack Hussein Obama at February 25, 2014 11:47 AM (tv7DV)

44

of all the times to misspell pedant.

 

You got the first syllable right.

Posted by: Harry Reid at February 25, 2014 11:47 AM (A0sHn)

45 Endangered species buffet.

Posted by: eleven at February 25, 2014 11:47 AM (KXm42)

46 Oh, Mollie Hemingway missed the    best example of Obammy's   Age of Austerity:    flitting off to Vegas for a fundraiser and then to NYC to party with Beyonce and Jay-Z on September 13, 2012.   Not like anything important was happening at the time;   no   major   security   breaches at foreign embassies or anything.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/b][/i] at February 25, 2014 11:48 AM (4df7R)

47 38 of all the times to misspell pedant. I here I thought it was deliberate, a sly joke. Now you've destroyed my illusions. Posted by: Waterhouse at February 25, 2014 03:46 PM (t8ySh) ******** Na. He was just doing a dick joke and his subconscious lagged behind/

Posted by: Babba Wa Wa's Gidget at February 25, 2014 11:48 AM (RJMhd)

48

Posted by: Topol at February 25, 2014 03:46 PM (eytER)

 

 

*pfahhh*  You want a car-elevator.  If you can't drive from the bedroom to the bathroom, your house is too small.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Winter of Discontent will End! The Flowers of Fury will be here for Spring Planting at February 25, 2014 11:48 AM (hLRSq)

49 Why do women think eating chocolate is "decadent."?

Posted by: eleven at February 25, 2014 11:48 AM (KXm42)

50 If I was rich? Blurred Lines Brunette

Posted by: garrett at February 25, 2014 11:48 AM (QPC/s)

51 OK, I know nothing about fashion, but looking at #3 I immediately imagined Chandler asking "Could you BE wearing any more necklaces?"

Raymond Chandler said that?

Posted by: Mega at February 25, 2014 11:48 AM (hHFOx)

52 Adam Clayton Powell made a career out of this behavior. A certain segment of the voters loves this stuff.

Posted by: Mike K at February 25, 2014 11:49 AM (2/XQm)

53 When the daily insult to effin reality that is our current culture gets to me, I take comfort in the knowledge that all things pass away.

Posted by: toby928© at February 25, 2014 11:49 AM (QupBk)

54 I just love how Obammy and his cohorts are trying to frame the last 5-6 years as an "Age of Austerity," just so they can make it look like spending more money is NEW.

The Fighting GOP suspended the debt ceiling.  Obama is not a man of restraint.  I expect we will look back at the last few years as if they were austere compared to the next few. 

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at February 25, 2014 11:49 AM (4QSOR)

55 I saw Pecker Snot open for Black Crowes at the Midtown Music Festival in Atlanta in 1996.

Posted by: Beagle at February 25, 2014 11:49 AM (sOtz/)

56 "Why, if I were rich, I'd have swank parties with Sarah Jessica Parker and Anna Wintour."

Who?

Posted by: flounder at February 25, 2014 11:49 AM (Kkt/i)

57 Whats going to be fun, is when the Obama's have to stop spending OUR money for their vacays and lifestyle... They will soon find out that there few millions will not support their lifestyle... And the thing about the Obama Cabal? Once he is out of power, they will NOT be loyal, like people were to the Clinton's... and support them.

Posted by: Romeo13 at February 25, 2014 11:49 AM (84gbM)

58 If I was rich I would have self cleaning toilet. It would be made out of steel and have a burning ring of fire.

Posted by: Babba Wa Wa's Gidget at February 25, 2014 11:49 AM (RJMhd)

59 When the daily insult to effin reality that is our current culture gets to me, I take comfort in the knowledge that all things pass away.

 

Posted by: toby928© at February 25, 2014 03:49 PM (QupBk)

 

 

Like Jane Fonda, hopefully very soon.

 

But not, interestingly enough, Abe    Vigoda.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/b][/i] at February 25, 2014 11:50 AM (4df7R)

60 Callback: Trump is a very big supporter of Piers Morgan. He says Piers is an extremely smart man.

Posted by: Daybrother at February 25, 2014 11:50 AM (qeF5L)

61 Orca is an over-feted fool.

So's Duh!1....

Posted by: backhoe at February 25, 2014 11:50 AM (ULH4o)

62

Posted by: flounder at February 25, 2014 03:49 PM (Kkt/i)

 

One is an actress that placed at Preekness; the other is the model for Cruella DeVil.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Winter of Discontent will End! The Flowers of Fury will be here for Spring Planting at February 25, 2014 11:50 AM (hLRSq)

63 If I was rich?


Blurred Lines Brunette

Posted by: garrett at February 25, 2014 03:48 PM (QPC/s)



*nods*



Posted by: EC at February 25, 2014 11:50 AM (GQ8sn)

64

"Why, if I were rich, I'd have swank parties with Sarah Jessica Parker and Anna Wintour."



Who?


 

Posted by: flounder at February 25, 2014 03:49 PM (Kkt/i)

 

 

Horseyface and Bowlcut.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/b][/i] at February 25, 2014 11:51 AM (4df7R)

65 Anna Wintour's Dora the Explorer cut is sassy!

Posted by: Beagle at February 25, 2014 11:51 AM (sOtz/)

66 Have a dinner of baby snakes, eyeball soup, beetles and chilled monkey brains.

Posted by: Indiana Jone at February 25, 2014 11:51 AM (T2V/1)

67 No Obama fires a shotgun in a pretense to show he can shoot skeet???? Correction, he shot at sporting clays. He shoots skeet with Reggie Love.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] at February 25, 2014 11:51 AM (9WUFT)

68 I know who Anna Wintour is noI'mnotgay.

Posted by: eleven at February 25, 2014 11:51 AM (KXm42)

69 I had a life changing experience just like that. I was walking through an alley and saw a hobo getting arrested for public wanking. He yelled that once he'd hit the big time he could drop trou and wank in his office on Capitol Hill whenever he pleased.

Posted by: Anthony Weiner at February 25, 2014 11:51 AM (AcwfJ)

70 I am totally stealing that "soul canteen from the wisdom well" stuff and using it in my next family argument over the LightWorker.

Posted by: MTF at February 25, 2014 11:51 AM (B5y+v)

71 If I was rich?


A whole fleet of vomit comets just so Kate Upton would seem to be floating forever.


Posted by: EC at February 25, 2014 11:52 AM (GQ8sn)

72 The Fighting GOP suspended the debt ceiling. Obama is not a man of restraint. I expect we will look back at the last few years as if they were austere compared to the next few. Posted by: bonhomme at February 25, 2014 03:49 PM (4QSOR) and yet, somehow we must decrease our military... because... austerity...

Posted by: Romeo13 at February 25, 2014 11:52 AM (84gbM)

73 60 Callback: Trump is a very big supporter of Piers Morgan. He says Piers is an extremely smart man. Posted by: Daybrother at February 25, 2014 03:50 PM

-------------------------------------------

If I was a billionaire, I'd go around saying nonsensical things, just to see if anyone notices.

Posted by: irright at February 25, 2014 11:52 AM (8GKDa)

74 I'm not in the "proud to know nothing of pop culture" camp, but I only recognize 4/9 in Mollie's #10. 

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at February 25, 2014 11:52 AM (A0sHn)

75 "Why, if I were rich, I'd have swank parties with Sarah Jessica Parker and Anna Wintour."

Who?

Posted by: flounder at February 25, 2014 03:49 PM (Kkt/i)


That would be "A Horse" and "Female Piers Morgan."

Posted by: Country Singer at February 25, 2014 11:52 AM (uCYHf)

76 Whats going to be fun, is when the Obama's have to stop spending OUR money for their vacays and lifestyle...
They will soon find out that there few millions will not support their lifestyle...

Lol, whut?  Clenis has made a quarter of a billion dollars in "speaking fees" since he left office.  People are going to be paying him to read America-bashing shit off a TelePrompter for the rest of my life.

Posted by: HR, watching scripts run at February 25, 2014 11:52 AM (ZKzrr)

77 Why do women think eating chocolate is "decadent."? Posted by: eleven at February 25, 2014 03:48 PM (KXm42) Hint: Oprah doesn't.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at February 25, 2014 11:53 AM (IXrOn)

78 If I was crazy super rich I'd have  Dennis  Leary fed to polar bears just to watch him make those funny faces.

Posted by: eleven at February 25, 2014 11:53 AM (KXm42)

79 Whats going to be fun, is when the Obama's have to stop spending OUR money for their vacays and lifestyle...

They will soon find out that there few millions will not support their lifestyle...

Al "even lefties laugh at him" Gore is worth hundreds of millions of dollars now.  I imagine Barack Obama will become rich the same way.  He will sit on the board of several leftie companies and command hundreds of thousands of dollars for a speaking event.  To which he will show up late and preen about how great his is.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at February 25, 2014 11:53 AM (4QSOR)

80 I'm not in the "proud to know nothing of pop culture" camp, but I only recognize 4/9 in Mollie's #10.


*is sad because I recognized all of them*

Posted by: EC at February 25, 2014 11:53 AM (GQ8sn)

81 I would spend money like there is no tomorrow.

I would ignore the laws, because laws are for little people.

I would spin the world into turmoil, because I could.

I would change the world based on my predilections, because I am awesome.

I would make Reggie my boyfriend  because, Nero.

I would finally read the Constitution, because I have leisure time. O maybe not- but it's my choice- isn't it?

Posted by: Marcus T at February 25, 2014 11:53 AM (GGCsk)

82 Pretty sure there's a term for this that will get you flagged for 15 Yards in the NFL.

Posted by: garrett at February 25, 2014 11:54 AM (QPC/s)

83 All I need is this ashtray. That's all I need. And this paddleball game. This ashtray and this paddleball game. That's all I need. And this remote control. I don't need anything else. The matches, this ashtray, the remote control and the paddleball game, that's all I need...

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit[/i][/u][/b][/s] at February 25, 2014 11:54 AM (0HooB)

84 Have you seen Molly? Does anybody have Molly?

Posted by: Marcus T at February 25, 2014 11:54 AM (GGCsk)

85 Everyone, be sure and pre order your neck braces for the whip lash you will receive when the press does a 180 on how Presidents should live if an R is elected.

Posted by: Seems legit at February 25, 2014 11:54 AM (A98Xu)

86

60 Callback: Trump is a very big supporter of Piers Morgan. He says Piers is an extremely smart man.

 

----------

 

Oh good grief. Did he really?

Agh.

Posted by: wheatie at February 25, 2014 11:55 AM (DEUoo)

87 I don't get why people profess to feeling "guilty" when they eat something unhealthy or skip some workout regimen. Why "guilty"? Seems an odd use of the word, but it's universal.

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 11:55 AM (ZshNr)

88 "Why, if I were rich, I'd have swank parties with Sarah Jessica Parker and Anna Wintour."

Who?

I dunno.

Posted by: Bud Abbott at February 25, 2014 11:55 AM (hHFOx)

89

Posted by: eleven at February 25, 2014 03:53 PM (KXm42)

 

 

Polar bears with Hellfire missiles, released into Al Gore's mansion.  And with webcams strapped to their white furry heads.

 

 

 

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Winter of Discontent will End! The Flowers of Fury will be here for Spring Planting at February 25, 2014 11:55 AM (hLRSq)

90 2nd  look at Piers Morgan?

Posted by: eleven at February 25, 2014 11:55 AM (KXm42)

91 I'm not in the "proud to know nothing of pop culture" camp, but I only recognize 4/9 in Mollie's #10.


*is sad because I recognized all of them*

Posted by: EC at February 25, 2014 03:53 PM (GQ8sn)



From left to right starting at the top:


Fergie from The Black Eyed Peas, JayZ and Beyonce, Fallon


Clooney, Timberlake, Beckham


Will Ferrel, Usher (and wife?), Prince William


Posted by: EC at February 25, 2014 11:56 AM (GQ8sn)

92 @68 I learned about Wintour when she did the commercials for Obama. Then I learned she was the inspiration for the horrendous bitch in The Devil Wears Prada (and Dora the Explorer's hair).

Posted by: Beagle at February 25, 2014 11:56 AM (sOtz/)

93 If I was rich? Blurred Lines Brunette Posted by: garrett at February 25, 2014 03:48 PM (QPC/s) Well, sure, if you're in the lower part of the 1%, darling. Personally, I plan on hiring someone to perfect cloning. Then triplet Blurred Lines Brunettes to go along with the Army of Upton and Divisions of Urban.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Mmmm. Blondies with whipped cream. at February 25, 2014 11:56 AM (VtjlW)

94 I would have some Sweet Guns, and a range on my property.

I would spend 5 million to find the original missing .45 Luger and buy it.

Posted by: trainer's looking for a Militia to join... at February 25, 2014 11:56 AM (n4ArD)

95 If I was crazy super rich I'd have Dennis Leary fed to polar bears just to watch him make those funny faces. Posted by: eleven at February 25, 2014 03:53 PM (KXm42) Who would voice-over the Ford Truck commercials, then?

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at February 25, 2014 11:56 AM (IXrOn)

96 And here I thought the last five years were the Years of Austrian. Then why did Barky subscribe to Rosetta Stone's Speak Austrian Just Like Hitler series?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] at February 25, 2014 11:56 AM (9WUFT)

97 just an easy joke type I do. Like for sex, you can tell a girl you're going to blow your Pecker Snot into her Muff-Hankie. Posted by: ace at February 25, 2014 03:40 PM (/FnUH) well ,that would certainly ruin the moment.

Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 11:56 AM (nqBYe)

98 If I were Super Rich, I would double the size of my dungeon, and surround my abode with fire.

Posted by: toby928© at February 25, 2014 11:56 AM (QupBk)

99 I'm going to buy you a diamond so big, it'll make you puke.

Posted by: Navin R. Johnson at February 25, 2014 11:56 AM (8GKDa)

100 Posted by: HR, watching scripts run at February 25, 2014 03:52 PM (ZKzrr) The Clintons retained a lot of personal loyalty, from very rich people... I don't think Obama will have that... so who is going to pay to hear him speak? ACORN? (or whatever they call themselves now)... Once he's done... I think he will try to retain the spotlight... but his Presidency will be so tarnished the Dems will be going 'Obama? he is sooooo yesterday..." And I will add... the Clintons kept going because everyone knew Hillary was still Politically active.... don't see anyone giving that option to Moochelle.

Posted by: Romeo13 at February 25, 2014 11:57 AM (84gbM)

101

And I would buy some art.

 

Maybe a Picasso or a Garfunkle.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Winter of Discontent will End! The Flowers of Fury will be here for Spring Planting at February 25, 2014 11:57 AM (hLRSq)

102 Time machine to 70s Nastassja Kinski.

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at February 25, 2014 11:57 AM (A0sHn)

103 I would have a series of Eastern European wives.

Posted by: toby928© at February 25, 2014 11:57 AM (QupBk)

104 I can no longer, in good conscious, support the NFL, buy any of its products or watch any of its games, I am going to miss it horribly, I love football, playing it, watching, talking about it, I just love it and I hate with every fiber of my being what is being done to it. I don't care if someone is gay, its their own business as long as they leave me alone. they will not leave me alone, they keep pushing and pushing and pushing.

Posted by: Shoey at February 25, 2014 11:57 AM (jdOk/)

105 If I were rich, I'd buy more lottery tickets.


One of them HAS to win!


Posted by: EC at February 25, 2014 11:57 AM (GQ8sn)

106 Now I'm going to go find Denis Leary's "I'm an Asshole" on YouTube. Yup, "Handicapped faces...", that's my homie.

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 11:57 AM (ZshNr)

107 I don't get why people profess to feeling "guilty" when they eat something unhealthy or skip some workout regimen. Why "guilty"? Seems an odd use of the word, but it's universal.

If you allow your body to win in a contest of wills against your mind, you're demonstrating a weakness.  Guilt naturally follows.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at February 25, 2014 11:58 AM (4QSOR)

108 Horseyface and Bowlcut.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at February 25, 2014 03:51 PM (4df7R)


That's funny.  SJP reminds me of that walked into a bar joke.

Horse walks into a bar, and bartender asks, "Why the long face?"


Posted by: flounder at February 25, 2014 11:58 AM (Kkt/i)

109

From left to right starting at the top:
Fergie from The Black Eyed Peas, JayZ and Beyonce, Fallon
Clooney, Timberlake, Beckham
Will Ferrel, Usher (and wife?), Prince William

 

Thanks!

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at February 25, 2014 11:58 AM (A0sHn)

110 How Dare You! How can a little nameless peon like you questions your betters?!?! When I find one, I'll ask.

Posted by: rickb223 at February 25, 2014 11:58 AM (p9JxP)

111 just an easy joke type I do. Like for sex, you can tell a girl you're going to blow your Pecker Snot into her Muff-Hankie. Posted by: ace at February 25, 2014 03:40 PM (/FnUH) well ,that would certainly ruin the moment. Posted by: willow at February 25, 2014 03:56 PM (nqBYe) That's why he's learning french.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at February 25, 2014 11:58 AM (IXrOn)

112 Time machine to 70s Nastassja Kinski. Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at February 25, 2014 03:57 PM (A0sHn) Also a cromulent choice.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Mmmm. Blondies with whipped cream. at February 25, 2014 11:58 AM (VtjlW)

113 "...Divisions of Urban."

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Mmmm. Blondies with whipped cream. at February 25, 2014 03:56 PM (VtjlW)



Urban Meyer?

Keith Urban?

Karl Urban?

Pope Urban VIII?

Posted by: Country Singer at February 25, 2014 11:58 AM (uCYHf)

114 When I am President the entire press core will be replaced with grade schoolers who write for the elementary school newspaper.

They can also be the traveling press corps on AF One. With their parents permission and chaperones of course.

Only then will we get some decent journalism. And intelligent conversation.

Posted by: Marcus T at February 25, 2014 11:58 AM (GGCsk)

115 If I were rich? Guns, lots of guns.

Posted by: Neo at February 25, 2014 11:59 AM (Aif/5)

116 Arizona should sue the NFL for discrimination, since you can't refuse people a service in their fucked up world.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at February 25, 2014 11:59 AM (X0j4A)

117 Posted by: Romeo13 at February 25, 2014 03:57 PM (84gbM)

Don't camp out on those hopes that he's gonna go away. You will freeze to death. Dopey Piers Morgan ain't going away, and neither will Dumbo.

Posted by: Mega at February 25, 2014 11:59 AM (hHFOx)

118 #100

F'in Carter managed to keep himself busy for decades. . .if he can do it, so can Nobel-Piece prize winning Obama.

Posted by: looking closely at February 25, 2014 11:59 AM (PwGfd)

119 I don't get why people profess to feeling "guilty" when they eat something unhealthy or skip some workout regimen. Why "guilty"?

Look at our culture. Fuck anyone you want anywhere. Toke your brains out.  Literacy is bad. Quit your job and let Obama take care of you.  Thinness--not health, thinness--is the only virtue we our culture recognizes anymore.

Posted by: HR, watching scripts run at February 25, 2014 11:59 AM (ZKzrr)

120 If I were a rich man, Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum. All day long I'd biddy biddy bum. If I were a wealthy man. I wouldn't have to work hard. Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum. If I were a biddy biddy rich, Idle-diddle-daidle-daidle man.

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at February 25, 2014 11:59 AM (7ObY1)

121

85 Everyone, be sure and pre order your neck braces for the whip lash you will receive when the press does a 180 on how Presidents should live if an R is elected.

 

----------

 

Yep.

If it is a President Walker or Perry...they will criticize them for even spending money on state dinners. 

 

I remember how they criticized Dubya for taking vacations...at his own ranch.

Posted by: wheatie at February 25, 2014 11:59 AM (DEUoo)

122 Hmmm.... and just who would be invited to a MORON party at the Whitehouse, if a Moron were Presidentin?

Posted by: Romeo13 at February 25, 2014 11:59 AM (84gbM)

123 Sidwell Friends School Tuition for 2013-2014 Lower School $34,288 (includes hot lunch and textbooks) Middle and Upper Schools $35,288 (includes hot lunch) Additional annual fees are: Parents Association Fee $80 Middle School Textbooks and Laptop Fee (Grades 5 through $365 Upper School Textbooks $500 - $700 Bus Transportation (Optional) Daily trips between Washington, DC and Bethesda, MD campuses $800 one way $1,150 round trip Lower School Aftercare (Optional) 1 to 5 days per week $1,500 to $5,750 Middle School Aftercare (Optional) $925 per trimester I am glad the obama's are cutting back and sending their kids to public school? Oh wait

Posted by: Nevergiveup at February 25, 2014 11:59 AM (t3UFN)

124 "And I fail to see how slashing military funding signals an 'end to austerity,' but what do I know? I'm just a fucking girl.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at February 25, 2014 03:45 PM (4df7R)"



Well, it is part of a clever economic plan that our brilliant leader has devised.  We are cutting our military way back but our defense needs have not decreased.  That mean that there is an increased need for a well regulated militia.  That is where you come in.  You need to buy an American made AR-15 in order to fulfill your duties as part of the unorganized militia.  Your purchase helps keep the factories humming and our economic recovery even stronger than before.



President Obama is asking you to forgo some frivolous purchase in order to buy an American made gun that will make our nation stronger both militarily and economically.  It is your duty as an American to do this.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-hole at February 25, 2014 12:00 PM (BcCwi)

125

How Dare You! How can a little nameless peon like you questions your betters?!?!

 

That s.o.b. hasn't been born yet.

 

Now get off my planet before I release the robotic Richard Simmons.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Winter of Discontent will End! The Flowers of Fury will be here for Spring Planting at February 25, 2014 12:00 PM (hLRSq)

126 Urban Meyer?Keith Urban?Karl Urban?Pope Urban VIII? Posted by: Country Singer at February 25, 2014 03:58 PM (uCYHf) Karl Urban. Now I'm imagining Urban Meyer being fed to polar bears. There's an image that will linger.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Mmmm. Blondies with whipped cream. at February 25, 2014 12:00 PM (VtjlW)

127 >>That's why he's learning french. <<

I am not a linguist or native French speaker. But I am pretty certain that does not translate.

Posted by: Marcus T at February 25, 2014 12:00 PM (GGCsk)

128

Callback: Trump is a very big supporter of Piers Morgan. He says Piers is an extremely smart man.

Posted by: Daybrother at February 25, 2014 03:50 PM

 

Yeah, because Piers won "The Apprentice" and if he's not smart then that means stupid people can win that show.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/b][/i] at February 25, 2014 12:00 PM (4df7R)

129

43 I will have you know that instead of the 1787 Chateau Lafite, we use the 1945 Jeroboam of Chateau Mouton-Rothschild to bathe the dogs. If that's not austerity, I don't know what is!

Don't you mean braise?

Posted by: Mr Cook at February 25, 2014 12:00 PM (6qMMx)

130 Fuck the NFL and their gaystapo tactics.

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at February 25, 2014 12:00 PM (7ObY1)

131 Obama doesn't know austerity from austrian

Posted by: oc joe at February 25, 2014 12:00 PM (hqVUe)

132 they will not leave me alone, they keep pushing and pushing and pushing.

You know sports fans would remove about 95% of their anger about sports if they just stopped  watching  or listening to ESPN.

They are the source or what's pissing you off.  The other 5% is Bob Costas and Chris Collinsworth.

Posted by: eleven at February 25, 2014 12:00 PM (KXm42)

133 Would ashamed work? Or does that have too intimate a connotation? I can't think of a better word, but "guilt", even with your explication, rings tinny.

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 12:01 PM (ZshNr)

134 If you allow your body to win in a contest of wills against your mind, you're demonstrating a weakness. Guilt naturally follows. Same way you feel guilty for doing that in her mouth. Your body won in a contest of wills against your mind......

Posted by: rickb223 at February 25, 2014 12:01 PM (p9JxP)

135 I'd take $100 million family vacations to Africa
___
...because the middle class.

Posted by: Barack Obama at February 25, 2014 12:01 PM (P3U0f)

136 F'in Carter managed to keep himself busy for decades. . .if he can do it, so can Nobel-Piece prize winning Obama. Posted by: looking closely at February 25, 2014 03:59 PM (PwGfd) Oh.... Obama will be 'busy'... but I don't think he will earn enough cash to support the lifestyle he and Moochelle have become accustomed to...

Posted by: Romeo13 at February 25, 2014 12:01 PM (84gbM)

137 I'd hold a conclave with Oprah and fill my Soul Canteen from her Wisdom Well. I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie © at February 25, 2014 12:01 PM (1hM1d)

138 2nd look at monopoly status of NFL?

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at February 25, 2014 12:01 PM (X0j4A)

139 Wagyu or Kobe? Discuss

Posted by: Moochelle Obama

All Kobe (region) beef is Wagyu ( lit. Japanese cow.) Not all Wagyu is Kobe.

Posted by: weft cut-loop[/i] [/b] at February 25, 2014 12:01 PM (xrX4n)

140 I can't imagine a party I like to go to less than one featuring Prince Valiant and his horse.

Posted by: irright at February 25, 2014 12:01 PM (8GKDa)

141 I am not a linguist or native French speaker. But I am pretty certain that does not translate. Posted by: Marcus T at February 25, 2014 04:00 PM (GGCsk) I'll test it with my husband tonight. ;-)

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at February 25, 2014 12:02 PM (IXrOn)

142 "123 Sidwell Friends School

Tuition for 2013-2014

Lower School
$34,288 (includes hot lunch and textbooks)
Middle and Upper Schools
$35,288 (includes hot lunch)
Additional annual fees are:

Parents Association Fee $80
Middle School Textbooks and Laptop Fee (Grades 5 through $365
Upper School Textbooks $500 - $700
Bus Transportation (Optional)
Daily trips between Washington, DC and Bethesda, MD campuses
$800 one way
$1,150 round trip
Lower School Aftercare (Optional)
1 to 5 days per week $1,500 to $5,750
Middle School Aftercare (Optional) $925 per trimester

I am glad the obama's are cutting back and sending their kids to public school? Oh wait

Posted by: Nevergiveup at February 25, 2014 03:59 PM (t3UFN)"



How much without the hot lunch?  Can Sacha and Malia just bring peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in a paper bag?

Posted by: Obnoxious A-hole at February 25, 2014 12:02 PM (BcCwi)

143 If I had a time machine I would bone Barbara  Stanwyck. 

Posted by: eleven at February 25, 2014 12:02 PM (KXm42)

144 11 >>> >> I'd hold a conclave with Oprah and fill my Soul Canteen from her Wisdom Well. Heh. Where do you come up with this stuff? ... just an easy joke type I do. Like for sex, you can tell a girl you're going to blow your Pecker Snot into her Muff-Hankie. Posted by: ace at February 25, 2014 03:40 PM (/FnUH) Haha. And just the other day a commenter lost their mind because someone had used "cum" in a comment. And now we have pecker snot and muff hankies.

Posted by: Buzzion at February 25, 2014 12:02 PM (TPnDE)

145 Fuck the NFL and their gaystapo tactics. Posted by: BlueStateRebel at February 25, 2014 04:00 PM (7ObY1) yeah they are starting to piss me off. And of course all their members are such stellar upstanding citizens? Clean your own fuckin house first

Posted by: Nevergiveup at February 25, 2014 12:02 PM (t3UFN)

146 And you'd be able to dip your balls in the 24/7 Pudding Fountain any time you wanted!

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at February 25, 2014 12:02 PM (Eiwo7)

147 How much without the hot lunch? Can Sacha and Malia just bring peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in a paper bag? Mooch outlawed rayciss PBJ's.

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at February 25, 2014 12:03 PM (7ObY1)

148 Urban Meyer?Keith Urban?Karl Urban?Pope Urban VIII?

Posted by: Country Singer at February 25, 2014 03:58 PM (uCYHf)

 

 

You clearly do not pay attention to AtC and me when we post    back and forth to each other.

 

#WarOnWomen

 

(I keed!)

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/b][/i] at February 25, 2014 12:03 PM (4df7R)

149 If I were rich, I'd build a castle then let it sink into a swamp.  Then build another castle and let it sink into a swamp.  Then build a third castle, set it on fire, and let it fall over and sink into a swamp.  Then build a fourth castle and move away.


Posted by: EC at February 25, 2014 12:03 PM (GQ8sn)

150 I'd have me a solid gold Uzi, and I would use that fcuker on anybody that pissed me off.

Posted by: ghost of hallelujah at February 25, 2014 12:04 PM (XvrTA)

151

If I were rich?

 

HQ   formatting buttons that    work.

 

BOOM.

 

#twoweeks

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/b][/i] at February 25, 2014 12:04 PM (4df7R)

152

If I was a rich man?

 

Duggadugga duggadugga dugga deedle dugga dee

Posted by: Tevye at February 25, 2014 12:04 PM (3ZtZW)

153

I'd hold a conclave with Oprah and fill my Soul Canteen from her Wisdom Well."


Oprah is a soul sucking monster. Her Well is full of despair, horror, and bon bons.

Posted by: puddleglum at February 25, 2014 12:05 PM (iizr5)

154 If I were rich? HQ formatting buttons that work. BOOM. #twoweeks Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at February 25, 2014 04:04 PM (4df7R) That's going to leave a mark.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Mmmm. Blondies with whipped cream. at February 25, 2014 12:05 PM (VtjlW)

155 I did enjoy watching the Legacy Media squirm over having to report on Jason Collins's couple of lousy scoreless minutes. That was some high-test squirming. You could just see the disappointment in their faces that he didn't have a better game, or even a good game, or even a game.

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at February 25, 2014 12:05 PM (7ObY1)

156 I'd hold a conclave with Oprah and fill my Soul Canteen from her Wisdom Well. And I'd repay her for this privilege by leaving an upper decker in one of her Hawaiian bungalow toilets... just like Mooch did back in January.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] at February 25, 2014 12:05 PM (9WUFT)

157 hey I wonder if michelle ever went skiing at Hunter Mountain on ice or does she only ski on powder at Vail?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at February 25, 2014 12:05 PM (t3UFN)

158 Like for sex, you can tell a girl you're going to blow your Pecker Snot into her Muff-Hankie. You tell girls that often? They must be laughing too hard to consummate things.

Posted by: Mary Cloggenstein's brother at February 25, 2014 12:05 PM (XyM/Y)

159 "Obama is what struggling-to-comfortable progressives think they'd do if they became rich."

I remember with considerable sourness how the Reagans' social life and state dinners were described by the media and derided by the left.

"Arrogantly rubbing the noses of the poor in their flashy profligacy" and such. Why, Nancy Reagan wore _designer dresses_. She bought new china for the state dinners!

Now the country is experiencing an economy that makes the Reagan economy at its most dire early 1981 nadir look pretty damned good by comparison.

While alongside those crummy economic prospects for ordinary Joes and Janes, we have a level of flashy profligacy in the White House that has literally never been equalled in the entire history of the country. You never saw the Reagans' pets eating off of that White House china the way that the Obamas show theirs doing.

Suddenly the left have completely lost their voices when it comes to "speaking truth to power" about the differential between how people on Main Street live versus how those at 1600 Pennsylvania are living.

It's almost as though the left never really believed any of that crap and were just mouthing it for temporary tactical political purposes. But we know that can't possibly be the case.

Posted by: torquewrench at February 25, 2014 12:05 PM (gqT4g)

160 How much without the hot lunch? Can Sacha and Malia just bring peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in a paper bag? Mooch outlawed rayciss PBJ's. Could always use whole wheat or rye instead of white.

Posted by: rickb223 at February 25, 2014 12:05 PM (p9JxP)

161 Two weeks?

Awesome.

Posted by: eleven at February 25, 2014 12:05 PM (KXm42)

162 OT, but since every thread turns into a gun thread...


Joe Carr is running for the Senate in Tennessee against that asshole Alexander, and he's got a nifty little "we're pro-business and pro-2A" thing going:  http://tinyurl.com/ntaoy7e

Posted by: Country Singer at February 25, 2014 12:05 PM (uCYHf)

163 If I won the lottery, I'd create a Castle Salvage company so that if EC ever won the lottery I'd be first in line to unsink his castles. It's called forward thinking, people.

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 12:05 PM (ZshNr)

164 I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie © at February 25, 2014 04:01 PM (1hM1d)

 

 

Still bringing the Ghostbusters quotes.

Good.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Winter of Discontent will End! The Flowers of Fury will be here for Spring Planting at February 25, 2014 12:05 PM (hLRSq)

165

122 Hmmm.... and just who would be invited to a MORON party at the Whitehouse, if a Moron were Presidentin?
 

----------

 

It's a safe bet...that Pecker Snot and the Muff Hankies would be the house band.

Posted by: wheatie at February 25, 2014 12:05 PM (DEUoo)

166 As much NE IA farm and woodland as I could buy plus a nice villa in the Carbibbean for escaping January & Feburuary. Oh, and a million rounds in various calibers and a new 4WD pickup.

Posted by: Angel with a sword at February 25, 2014 12:06 PM (hpgw1)

167 How much without the hot lunch? Can Sacha and Malia just bring peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in a paper bag?
Posted by: Obnoxious A-hole at February 25, 2014 04:02 PM
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do I get the feeling that half the students there would have a peanut allergy?

Posted by: irright at February 25, 2014 12:06 PM (8GKDa)

168 I did enjoy watching the Legacy Media squirm over having to report on Jason Collins's couple of lousy scoreless minutes. That was some high-test squirming. You could just see the disappointment in their faces that he didn't have a better game, or even a good game, or even a game. Posted by: BlueStateRebel at February 25, 2014 04:05 PM (7ObY1) And somewhere in that post game interview he said all he wanted to do was play ball? Then why did he make such a big deal out of the fact that he is gay? Wish someone had asked him that

Posted by: Nevergiveup at February 25, 2014 12:06 PM (t3UFN)

169 Posted by: Obnoxious A-hole at February 25, 2014 04:02 PM (BcCwi) Interesting question.... who pays for this? That's a quick $70K a year for school.... does that somehow get put on the First Familys expenses??? or do THEY pay for it?

Posted by: Romeo13 at February 25, 2014 12:06 PM (84gbM)

170 Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 04:01 PM (ZshNr)

"Guilt" is an odd word in that context.

Maybe...."disappointed?"

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at February 25, 2014 12:06 PM (QFxY5)

171 Like most comics these days, that guy isn't remotely funny. That joke couldn't be more forced.

Posted by: Chris Vaughn at February 25, 2014 12:07 PM (h+2SD)

172 Could always use whole wheat or rye instead of white. Now that's just microaggression right there. Hispanic students might prefer a tortilla. Muslim students might be more comfortable with a pita. Think of the children!

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at February 25, 2014 12:07 PM (7ObY1)

173 If I were king of the forest..........

Posted by: Lyin Coward at February 25, 2014 12:07 PM (kVfSG)

174 By the way, this would have been a damn good attack on Obama in 2012...well..if the Republicans hadn't nominated generic rich Republican as their nominee...

Posted by: 18-1 at February 25, 2014 12:07 PM (P3U0f)

175 Hmmm.... and just who would be invited to a MORON party at the Whitehouse, if a Moron were Presidentin?


The Moron Meetup to End All Meetups.


Every drop of Val U Rite would be consumed.  There would be no more.

Posted by: EC at February 25, 2014 12:07 PM (GQ8sn)

176 How rich do I have to get to buy a used Aircraft Carrier?

Posted by: Buzzsaw at February 25, 2014 12:07 PM (tf9Ne)

177 "115 If I were rich? Guns, lots of guns.

Posted by: Neo at February 25, 2014 03:59 PM (Aif/5)"



I'd want a rifle.  A 16" naval rifle.  On my private island.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-hole at February 25, 2014 12:07 PM (BcCwi)

178 Posted by: Romeo13 at February 25, 2014 04:06 PM (84gbM)

Oh, congress voted for vouchers for the president's family so they could send their children to the schools of their choice.

And we pay for the transport. That's a SS escort to and from.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at February 25, 2014 12:08 PM (QFxY5)

179 @176, I'm looking for a tank.

Posted by: Judge Roy Bean at February 25, 2014 12:08 PM (cCxiu)

180 Why do I get the feeling that half the students there would have a peanut allergy? Use goobers instead of peanuts.......

Posted by: rickb223 at February 25, 2014 12:08 PM (p9JxP)

181 How rich do I have to get to buy a used Aircraft Carrier? Posted by: Buzzsaw at February 25, 2014 04:07 PM (tf9Ne) Hang in there, a few should become available in the next 3 years

Posted by: Nevergiveup at February 25, 2014 12:08 PM (t3UFN)

182

Like for sex, you can tell a girl you're going to blow your Pecker Snot into her Muff-Hankie.

 

....Yeeeeesssss.   You   CAN tell a girl that.   You CAN.

 

Whether or not you SHOULD is entirely dependent on the girl and whether or not she's being paid by    the event,     by   the hour, or by the act.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/b][/i] at February 25, 2014 12:08 PM (4df7R)

183 ♫ When the Mooch is in the Whiiiiite House,
And SCOAMF rules like czars,
Their beasts will have their own aiplanes,
And they will live like stars.

 It is the ending of the Age of Austerity,
The Age of Austerity,
The Age of Austerityyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ♫

Posted by: SCOAMT at February 25, 2014 12:09 PM (UIxS+)

184 I'd want a lazy river running through my majestic Maui property. * *With Libation Stations™every 50 yards.

Posted by: Seems legit at February 25, 2014 12:09 PM (A98Xu)

185 Like for sex, you can tell a girl you're going to blow your Pecker Snot into her Muff-Hankie.

....Yeeeeesssss. You CAN tell a girl that. You CAN.

Whether or not you SHOULD is entirely dependent on the girl and whether or not she's being paid by the event, by the hour, or by the act.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at February 25, 2014 04:08 PM (4df7R)



I will try that one tonight.


See y'all next month!



Posted by: EC at February 25, 2014 12:09 PM (GQ8sn)

186 Oh hells yes I'd have a private island if I were a rich man. With wahinis in bikinis. And a big ol' fishin' boat. And guns. Lots of guns. I'd declare myself emperor of my island and smite my enemies and enjoy the lamentations of their women. But first, their women will blow me.

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at February 25, 2014 12:09 PM (7ObY1)

187 "Joe Carr is running for the Senate in Tennessee against that asshole Alexander"

Does he have a chance?

Because it's really looking to me so far as though none of the primary challenges to sitting GOP Senators are going to succeed this year. A depressing prospect indeed.

The Roveian country club wing of the party have closed ranks, locked and loaded and declared that all incumbents are sacrosanct and will be defended to the death.

Posted by: torquewrench at February 25, 2014 12:10 PM (gqT4g)

188 WASHINGTON (AP) - Even the scoreboards in high school gyms will have to advertise only healthy foods under new rules announced Tuesday by the Obama administration. Let it be spoken, let it be done.

Posted by: RWC at February 25, 2014 12:10 PM (fWAjv)

189 Oh.... Obama will be 'busy'... but I don't think he will earn enough cash to support the lifestyle he and Moochelle have become accustomed to...

Posted by: Romeo13 at February 25, 2014 04:01 PM (84gbM)



Scenario: Theresa kicks the bucket, Johnny K inherits the Heinz money, Mooch drops TFG and hooks up with horseface. 



Then they run together on the 2020 ticket.

Posted by: Country Singer at February 25, 2014 12:10 PM (uCYHf)

190 176 How rich do I have to get to buy a used Aircraft Carrier? Posted by: Buzzsaw at February 25, 2014 04:07 PM (tf9Ne) Last one apparently sold for $1.00 .... soooo..

Posted by: Romeo13 at February 25, 2014 12:11 PM (84gbM)

191 I will try that one tonight. See y'all next month! When the swelling goes down & you can open your eyes......

Posted by: rickb223 at February 25, 2014 12:11 PM (p9JxP)

192 The Moron Meetup to End All Meetups.


Every drop of Val U Rite would be consumed. There would be no more.

Posted by: EC at February 25, 2014 04:07 PM (GQ8sn)

 

There would be video of EoJ cannonballing naked into the White House swimming pool    while   AtC holds court atop a makeshift podium of milk crates in the Rose Garden.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/b][/i] at February 25, 2014 12:11 PM (4df7R)

193

I'd want a rifle. A 16" naval rifle. On my private island.

 

You know what?  I miss battleships.  Our modern murderboats have all kinds of electronics and missiles hidden inside and don't look halfway scary.  I liked the days when we could park nine 16" guns off someone's coast just to get their attention. 

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at February 25, 2014 12:11 PM (A0sHn)

194 Don't know about you but I don't want NUTIN to do with Oprah's Wisdom Well. Don't want to go NEAR there. Nope. Uhuh.

Posted by: Sphynx at February 25, 2014 12:11 PM (OZmbA)

195 If I were rich, I'd tell everyone in the FSA that I buried $10 million dollars in a briefcase somewhere underneath a large urban metro city. 


Posted by: EC at February 25, 2014 12:11 PM (GQ8sn)

196 Jason Collins was horrific in his 201?-13 stint with the Celtics. Literally couldn't hold onto the ball, fouled everyone who came within six feet of him, and while marginal "big men" are often used to take up space, he did it on the wrong end of the fucking court. Useless on defense, in the way on offense. So gay, so lousy.

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 12:11 PM (ZshNr)

197 175 Hmmm.... and just who would be invited to a MORON party at the Whitehouse, if a Moron were Presidentin? The Moron Meetup to End All Meetups. Every drop of Val U Rite would be consumed. There would be no more. Posted by: EC at February 25, 2014 04:07 PM (GQ8sn) It would be the whole group dropping trou and mooning the leftist whining protesters in Lafayette Circle that would send the MSM into paroxysms of horror.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] at February 25, 2014 12:12 PM (9WUFT)

198 You want to know the real irony-- I was wondering why The Federalist did not allow comments and then ace dropped his, er comment.

Posted by: Babba Wa Wa's Gidget at February 25, 2014 12:12 PM (RJMhd)

199 188 WASHINGTON (AP) - Even the scoreboards in high school gyms will have to advertise only healthy foods under new rules announced Tuesday by the Obama administration. I don't get it, are these passed by congress? Are they binding? What is the penalty for ignoring this "new rule?"

Posted by: Seems legit at February 25, 2014 12:12 PM (A98Xu)

200 You know what? I miss battleships. Our modern murderboats have all kinds of electronics and missiles hidden inside and don't look halfway scary. I liked the days when we could park nine 16" guns off someone's coast just to get their attention. USS Missouri.

Posted by: rickb223 at February 25, 2014 12:12 PM (p9JxP)

201 Gay!gay! Gay!gay! Gay!gay!Gay!gay! Gay!gay! Gay! Now we return you to your hateful heteronormative programming.

Posted by: State Mandated 5 seconds of Gay [/i] [/b] at February 25, 2014 12:12 PM (SwHqo)

202 Posted by: torquewrench at February 25, 2014 04:10 PM (gqT4g)



He might have a smidgen of a chance, a lot of people are really pissed at Alexander right now.  There wasn't a good challenger last time around, but Lamar had some difficulty winning the primary to replace Teh Fred, and that was when he was popular.

Posted by: Country Singer at February 25, 2014 12:12 PM (uCYHf)

203
It would be the whole group dropping trou and mooning the leftist whining protesters in Lafayette Circle that would send the MSM into paroxysms of horror.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ at February 25, 2014 04:12 PM (9WUFT)



Party at the White House!



Posted by: Dupont Circle at February 25, 2014 12:13 PM (GQ8sn)

204

WASHINGTON (AP) - Even the scoreboards in high school gyms will have to advertise only healthy foods under new rules announced Tuesday by the Obama administration.

 

That's cute.   Let's just    tell all of our youth sports   teams   that they can say "Fuck You" to ever getting new equipment or improved facilities, because now they can't sell ad space to Pizza Hut   on their scoreboards.

 

Fuck you, Obama.  And double fuck you, Mooch.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/b][/i] at February 25, 2014 12:13 PM (4df7R)

205 Fill my Soul Canteen from her Wisdom Well????? That's a euphemism, right? I have to be right about this one of these times.

Posted by: Sean Bannion [/i][/s][/u][/b] at February 25, 2014 12:13 PM (yz6yg)

206 If Michelle doesn't like Barky for being a shallow spoilt selfabsorbed wimp, and evidence points that way, I can't see how she'd consider John Kerry an improvement.

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at February 25, 2014 12:13 PM (WaedO)

207 Last one apparently sold for $1.00 .... soooo.. Posted by: Romeo13 at February 25, 2014 04:11 PM (84gbM) Yeah but that was a non-nuclear one. All the nuclear ones are totally dismantled by the Navy just to get the reactors out

Posted by: Nevergiveup at February 25, 2014 12:13 PM (t3UFN)

208 It would be the whole group dropping trou and mooning the leftist whining protesters in Lafayette Circle that would send the MSM into paroxysms of horror. Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ at February 25, 2014 04:12 PM (9WUFT) Yep, and unlike the Obama Admin... it would be open to the Press.

Posted by: Romeo13 at February 25, 2014 12:13 PM (84gbM)

209 Oh well, off to the gym to sweat away on the alpine bike and throw some weights around. Gotta stay healthy so 404Care doesn't kill me. Srsly.

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at February 25, 2014 12:13 PM (7ObY1)

210 So gay, so lousy.

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 04:11 PM (ZshNr)

And with a built-in ability to get headlines and publicity for the Nets.

That's the only reason they picked him up.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at February 25, 2014 12:14 PM (QFxY5)

211 Collins was horrific in his 201?-13 stint with the Celtics. Literally couldn't hold onto the ball, fouled everyone who came within six feet of him, ------- When he was with the Hawks before that it seemed like the only time he got put in was when they needed to foul another big guy. He's just not a good player.

Posted by: Adam at February 25, 2014 12:14 PM (Aif/5)

212 WASHINGTON (AP) - Even the scoreboards in high school gyms will have to advertise only healthy foods under new rules announced Tuesday by the Obama administration.

That's cute. Let's just tell all of our youth sports teams that they can say "Fuck You" to ever getting new equipment or improved facilities, because now they can't sell ad space to Pizza Hut on their scoreboards.

Fuck you, Obama. And double fuck you, Mooch.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at February 25, 2014 04:13 PM (4df7R)



I would sneak in Big Macs and Whoppers and sell them for $$$$$.



Posted by: EC at February 25, 2014 12:14 PM (GQ8sn)

213 Oh.... Obama will be 'busy'... but I don't think he
will earn enough cash to support the lifestyle he and Moochelle have
become accustomed to...


As an African Islamic warlord, I will have all the goats I can bugger and will be able send people off to murder infidels.  What more do I need?

Posted by: Barack Hussein Obama at February 25, 2014 12:14 PM (tv7DV)

214 I don't get it, are these passed by congress? Are they binding? What is the penalty for ignoring this "new rule?"

Posted by: Seems legit at February 25, 2014 04:12 PM (A98Xu)

 

I expect it would lead to loss of various federal funding streams,  like  school lunches and Title I money, etc.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/b][/i] at February 25, 2014 12:14 PM (4df7R)

215 *With Libation Stations™every 50 yards. 50 yards? I'd have mine every 10 feet or so. With a Kate Upton look-alike in a bikini at every one.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit[/i][/u][/b][/s] at February 25, 2014 12:14 PM (0HooB)

216 Party at the White House! Posted by: Dupont Circle at February 25, 2014 04:13 PM (GQ8sn) /crashes the party...

Posted by: Sen. Bluto Blutarsky at February 25, 2014 12:15 PM (84gbM)

217

"Why, if I were rich, I'd have swank parties with Sarah Jessica Parker and Anna Wintour."

 

If I were rich, I'd have both these bitches deported to Sierra Leone.

Posted by: UGAdawg at February 25, 2014 12:15 PM (NAlbk)

218 Posted by: Nevergiveup at February 25, 2014 04:13 PM (t3UFN)

And the carrier wouldn't be the most expensive part.

How much does an air wing cost to buy and maintain?

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at February 25, 2014 12:15 PM (QFxY5)

219 Posted by: Judge Roy Bean at February 25, 2014 04:08 PM (cCxiu)



http://www.tanksforsale.co.uk/

Posted by: Country Singer at February 25, 2014 12:15 PM (uCYHf)

220 The background music to this thread is "If I were a rich man"

Posted by: Votermom at February 25, 2014 12:15 PM (GSIDW)

221 35 MWR, The key hete is "duh-ble think" we *must* nuke the US military b/c "we're broke" AND we need to blow more money b/c "the economy is just ducky".... I used to, as you'll remember, get really bothered by the hypocrisy and idiocy on this issue. I am so past that it is not funny. Try RT-12ing my wife unless the threat invades CONUS. You chose this America. Enjoy

Posted by: sven10077 at February 25, 2014 12:16 PM (TE35l)

222 201 Gay!gay!
Gay!gay!
Gay!gay!Gay!gay!

Gay!gay!


Gay!

Now we return you to your hateful heteronormative programming.

Posted by: State Mandated 5 seconds of Gay at February 25, 2014 04:12 PM (SwHqo)


Thanks for the reminder.  I seem to have forgotten my state-mandated cocksucking today. 

Posted by: flounder at February 25, 2014 12:16 PM (Kkt/i)

223 If I were rich, I would buy all $17 trillion in debt and turn around and say, "And that's how it's done!"




Posted by: EC at February 25, 2014 12:16 PM (GQ8sn)

224 If I were rich, I'd have both these bitches deported to Sierra Leone.

Posted by: UGAdawg at February 25, 2014 04:15 PM (NAlbk)

 

 

Oh, speaking of African hellholes,  Islamists    burned down   a   boarding    school in Nigeria and killed 29    schoolboys.

 

But SCOTT WALKER DID SOMETHING KIND OF MEH IN COLLEGE ALMOST THIRTY YEARS AGO!!!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/b][/i] at February 25, 2014 12:17 PM (4df7R)

225 Thanks for the reminder. I seem to have forgotten my state-mandated cocksucking today. Posted by: flounder at February 25, 2014 04:16 PM (Kkt/i) Wait. Wut? Where? How? When?

Posted by: Barney Frank [/i][/s][/u][/b] at February 25, 2014 12:17 PM (yz6yg)

226 22 Question. Do they KNOW they are disingenuous assholes who tell us about sacrifice while they live like royaltyÂ…Â….orÂ…... are they completely oblivious to their hypocrite, shove it in your face lifestyle? Posted by: Seems legit at February 25, 2014 03:43 PM (A98Xu) 3. They're deliberately rubbing our noses in it.

Posted by: rickl at February 25, 2014 12:17 PM (zoehZ)

227 I would sneak in Big Macs and Whoppers and sell them for $$$$$. My nieces tell me there is a huge black market for snacks and tasty foods at their school (I believe this is going on in all schools.) Some little entrepreneurs are getting rich. Hope they don't get caught though. They'll be treated worse than drug dealers.

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at February 25, 2014 12:17 PM (7ObY1)

228 "And the carrier wouldn't be the most expensive part. How much does an air wing cost to buy and maintain?"

Half of USN capital spending is for aircraft. More than for ships.

That percentage is going up, thanks to the F-35, the jet that ate the defense budget.

Posted by: torquewrench at February 25, 2014 12:18 PM (gqT4g)

229 76 HR, Also it takes a leap of faith to think he is leaving.

Posted by: sven10077 at February 25, 2014 12:18 PM (TE35l)

230 3. They're deliberately rubbing our noses in it. Posted by: rickl at February 25, 2014 04:17 PM (zoehZ) I'll remember that the next time a Republican is in the White House.

Posted by: Sean Bannion [/i][/s][/u][/b] at February 25, 2014 12:18 PM (yz6yg)

231 If I were rich, I'd commission my own helicarrier and park it directly over San Francisco, blocking out the sunlight.  Anyone who complains would get the septic tanks dumped on them.


Posted by: EC at February 25, 2014 12:18 PM (GQ8sn)

232

Collins was horrific in his 201?-13 stint with the Celtics. Literally couldn't hold onto the ball, fouled everyone who came within six feet of him,

 

 

 
Well  to  be  fair,  he  probably  has  more  experience  holding  on  to  a  pair. 

Posted by: Larsen E. Whipsnade at February 25, 2014 12:18 PM (rXcBX)

233 Haven't read all the comments, but if no one mentioned it go listen to John Mulaney's routine on playing "What's New Pussycat" 7 times in a row at a diner. Really funny.

Posted by: jwest at February 25, 2014 12:19 PM (u2a4R)

234 Well to be fair, he probably has more experience holding on to a pair. So you're saying he's a ball hog then.

Posted by: toby928© at February 25, 2014 12:19 PM (QupBk)

235

Collins was horrific in his 201?-13 stint with the Celtics. Literally couldn't hold onto the ball, fouled everyone who came within six feet of him,

 

Funny.  You'd think he'd be a consummate ballhandler.

 

*Ba dum bum TISSSS!*

 

Thank you, thank you!   I'll be here all week!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/b][/i] at February 25, 2014 12:19 PM (4df7R)

236 heheheh

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 12:20 PM (ZshNr)

237 If I were rich, I'd commission my own helicarrier LHA and park it directly over San Francisco, blocking out the sunlight. *ahem* FIFY

Posted by: Sean Bannion [/i][/s][/u][/b] at February 25, 2014 12:20 PM (yz6yg)

238 Conservatives work for their money

Liberal vote for your money

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at February 25, 2014 12:21 PM (z+4T3)

239

Haven't read all the comments, but if no one mentioned it go listen to John Mulaney's routine on playing "What's New Pussycat" 7 times in a row at a diner.



Really funny.

 

 

Posted by: jwest at February 25, 2014 04:19 PM (u2a4R)

 

 

 

I love his bit about "Law and Order" characters.    "There's the Delivery Guy Who, While Being Questioned By Homicide Detectives, Will Not Stop Unloading Crates..."

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/b][/i] at February 25, 2014 12:21 PM (4df7R)

240 If I was monstrously rich, nobody would ever hear from me again, except the delivery guys.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at February 25, 2014 12:21 PM (0Jb7F)

241 Shut up you scroungers

We are all in this together and that's why we are only giving help to millionaires/billionaires so they can fund workhouses/prisons for you unwashed masses

Incidentally we'd like you to continue your naive support the next time our representatives like Bono and Bob Geldof promote themselves at a concert while asking you to give money (because they won't)

Posted by: The 1% percent at February 25, 2014 12:21 PM (6Pu5I)

242 Anyone who complains would get the septic tanks dumped on them.


Posted by: EC at February 25, 2014 04:18 PM (GQ8sn)


Anyone who applauds will get the septic tanks and the dirty underwear.

Posted by: flounder at February 25, 2014 12:22 PM (Kkt/i)

243 230 Sean Bannion, Last Republican willing to not be shamed into living like Quasimodo was Reagan. Fuck the media.

Posted by: sven10077 at February 25, 2014 12:22 PM (TE35l)

244 Cake. Bitchez.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at February 25, 2014 12:22 PM (/djtm)

245 They have already eliminated Air Wings both to save money and also because the F-18s are wearing out and the F-35s are so far behind schedule

Posted by: Nevergiveup at February 25, 2014 12:22 PM (t3UFN)

246 If Johnny Weir could put up consistent double-doubles for the C's I'd be his biggest fan. Nah, that's not true, but it sounded like something to say.

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 12:23 PM (ZshNr)

247 There's the Delivery Guy Who, While Being Questioned By Homicide Detectives, Will Not Stop Unloading Crates..." YES!!!!! That drove me up the wall too. Every fucking episode has that scene where "Person being questioned in a murder investigation just walks away from the detectives or continues going about their business." Just like in real life!

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at February 25, 2014 12:23 PM (7ObY1)

248 >>>If Johnny Weir could put up consistent double-doubles for the C's I'd be his biggest fan. Nah, that's not true, but it sounded like something to say.

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 04:23 PM (ZshNr)<<<



A triple axle windmill jam...

That's a Tommy Point!

Posted by: Tommy Heinsohn at February 25, 2014 12:24 PM (UIxS+)

249 "193
I'd want a rifle. A 16" naval rifle. On my private island.

You know what? I miss battleships. Our modern murderboats have all kinds of electronics and missiles hidden inside and don't look halfway scary. I liked the days when we could park nine 16" guns off someone's coast just to get their attention.

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at February 25, 2014 04:11 PM (A0sHn)"



I would like to see all four Iowa class battleships brought into dry dock, have their bottoms cut out and the old oil fired boilers removed and then several dozen gas turbine generator sets installed instead.  Then replace the turbines and transmissions with electric motors and the rudders with azipods.  Also install an azipod or three near the front of the ship.  That would allow all sorts of neat maneuvers like a 50 knot run into an enemy harbor while firing all the guns, a quick 180 and 50 knots back out to sea.  Also having all that electric power permits installing lasers, rail guns and mass drivers so it would be a kind of test bed platform.  I would also look into research in sabot subcaliber rounds for the main guns so that you could fire 8" projectiles over a hundred miles.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-hole at February 25, 2014 12:24 PM (BcCwi)

250 @224 If non-Muslims fight back the media will be all over it.

Posted by: Beagle at February 25, 2014 12:25 PM (sOtz/)

251 If'n I were rich??? I'd buy and Island and start my own little country... The entire defense budget would be used for small arms, FREE shooting ranges for citizens.... and a really big Hacker shop... Oh, and an offshore bank...

Posted by: Romeo13 at February 25, 2014 12:25 PM (84gbM)

252 I thought top left was Snookie.

Posted by: SpongeBobSaget at February 25, 2014 12:25 PM (kxSZr)

253 Ha! Tommy Points, loved those. Walter McCarty!

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 12:26 PM (ZshNr)

254 In fairness, I thought Nixon's Swiss Guards was going too far too.

Posted by: toby928© at February 25, 2014 12:26 PM (QupBk)

255 If I were rich, I would buy all $17 trillion in debt and turn around and say, "And that's how it's done!"

If you did that Obama would have the debt up to $20 trillion the VERY NEXT DAY.  Debt ceiling suspended britches.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at February 25, 2014 12:26 PM (4QSOR)

256 If I were rich, my foyer would have a gigantic, multi story fountain that contained the tears of Al Gore.

Also, I would force the remaining members of Led Zeppelin to reunite with some sort of "Kennedy Center Honors" thing.

And good shooting with Ted Nugent. Because shooting plus Ted Nugent would make people insane.

Posted by: shibumi at February 25, 2014 12:27 PM (25HWz)

257

Posted by: Obnoxious A-hole at February 25, 2014 04:24

 

So......you've given this some thought?

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at February 25, 2014 12:27 PM (A0sHn)

258 On Monday, Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel announced massive cuts to the size of the armed services, slashing the army to its pre-World War II size. In 2011, the army had some 566,000 soldiers; Hagel wants it cut to somewhere between 440,000 and 450,000 troops by 2019. If Congress does not add additional funding, Hagel threatens to slash that number to 420,000 by 2019. Such cuts to defense spending do not bode well for the security of the United States. Historically, defense spending cuts have preceded increased international turmoil as America’s global enemies sense a failure of will. Breitbart: So, how big are the current cuts? Historically speaking, they’re incredibly large. In 2011, the defense budget represented 4.7% of total gross domestic product; this year’s percentage will be 2.7%. In real dollars, US defense spending is set to plummet from $705.6 in 2011 billion to $496 billion. That represents a budget cut of approximately 30%. The Pre-World War II Cuts. While FDR increased government spending in virtually every other area of American life, FDR slashed defense spending from the beginning of his administration, from $752 million in 1932 to $531 million in 1934. He even cut veterans’ benefits 40%. By the time of World War II, America was thoroughly unprepared to make war, with an army sized just smaller than that of Portugal, ranking 16th on the planet. That unwillingness to fund defense led both Hitler and the Japanese to believe they could make war on the United States with impunity. The Post-World War II Cuts. After World War II, during which the United States spent 43.6% of its annual GDP on defense in 1943 and 1944, spending declined dramatically – all the way down to 14.3% of the annual GDP in 1949. The era of peace and prosperity seemed that it would last forever; Harry Truman justified defense cuts by citing the end of World War II. But then the Korean War broke out, thanks in large part to the large-scale military cuts, which encouraged the Soviets and Chinese Communists toward aggression on the Korean peninsula. Truman then increased the defense budget from $9.1 billion in 1948 to $52.8 billion, a nearly six-fold increase. Again, that could have been prevented had the United States been less eager to take a machete to defense budgeting. The Vietnam Cuts. As the United States consolidated its victory in Vietnam, Democrats in Congress, angry at the re-election of President Richard Nixon, decided to defund the military. Where defense spending had represented an average of 19.6% of GDP during the period 1967 through 1972, the budget really began falling after 1968 and the election of Richard Nixon. The result: American helicopters lifting off from our embassy in Saigon as the country fell into Communist hands. The Soviets would invade Afghanistan just a few years later, encouraged by America’s obvious distaste for foreign war. Only the arrival of Ronald Reagan and his huge increases in military expenditures would change the shape of the Cold War. The Post-Soviet Defense Cuts. In 1988, the United States government spent $557.5 billion (in inflation-adjusted 2011 dollars) on national defense. That statistic slowly declined under George H.W. Bush, to $489.2 billion in 1992 – but then it collapsed under Bill Clinton, who slashed the military budget to $378.5 billion. That cut of 32% is slightly larger than the cut proposed here, but it also took place over the course of 11 years rather than the three. The defense cuts provided a temporary economic boost, given that defense spending was siphoned into other areas of the government, decreasing overall government spending. But it also paved the way for the rise of al Qaeda – a disastrous malfeasance that led to 9/11, and the tremendous military buildup under George W. Bush, under whom military spending rose from $397.3 billion in 2000 to $701.1 billion in 2009. If the United States had maintained its spending under Ronald Reagan, it is possible that the attacks of 9/11 – presaged by Islamic terror attacks on multiple American targets beginning with the first bombing of the World Trade Center in 1993 – would have been stopped. Had that occurred, the United States would have never needed to nearly double its spending on defense. Even if the attacks had not been prevented, the United States would have been significantly better prepared for the counterinsurgencies in Iraq and Afghanistan than they were during the military build-up period at the beginning of the Bush administration. Overall, major defense cuts come with a serious price: the price of emboldened enemies. Unfortunately, the cuts contemplated by Chuck Hagel and company have already borne fruit in an emboldened China in the South China Sea, a resurgent Vladimir Putin-led Russia, an aggressively Islamist Middle East. The problem with military cuts is not merely that they decrease American capacity to make war, though they surely do. The problem is that purposeful and large-scale military decreases send a message to the rest of the world that America is in retreat. Sadly, under the Obama administration, that signal is both clear and correctly interpreted.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at February 25, 2014 12:27 PM (t3UFN)

259 "Person being questioned in a murder investigation just walks away from the detectives or continues going about their business." If you are being questioned for anything by the police, just walk away - while telling them to speak with your lawyer if they need any information.

Posted by: jwest at February 25, 2014 12:28 PM (u2a4R)

260 "If I were rich, I'd commission my own helicarrier and park it directly over San Francisco, blocking out the sunlight. Anyone who complains would get the septic tanks dumped on them."

Actually, the rich guy who is bankrolling the Six Californias initiative has a subtle thumb in the eye to San Francisco.

San Franciscans will never ever shut up about how "green" they imagine themselves to be. But SF gets its water supply, and its cheap hydroelectric power, from the Sierra Nevadas, with huge technological effort.

Yes, that's right. The obsessive ecoholics who live in the city by the bay are able to do so because, in generations past, the city fathers of SF drowned and destroyed a pristine mountain valley, Hetch Hetchy, the "second Yosemite".

If the Six Californias gig goes through, suddenly those water and power assets are in another state. Hilarious hijinx ensue.

Posted by: torquewrench at February 25, 2014 12:29 PM (gqT4g)

261 Why didn't you come to me like a man and tell me there was a nood?

Posted by: torquewrench at February 25, 2014 12:30 PM (gqT4g)

262 The problem is that purposeful and large-scale military decreases send a message to the rest of the world that America is in retreat. Sadly, under the Obama administration, that signal is both clear and correctly interpreted. So? Legalize Weed and Ghey Marriage!

Posted by: 100 million of your LIV countrymen at February 25, 2014 12:31 PM (SwHqo)

263

>>>If I was monstrously rich, nobody would ever hear from me again, except the delivery guys.

 

Overated, let me tell you

Posted by: Howard Hughes at February 25, 2014 12:34 PM (3ZtZW)

264 #104 I feel just the same way about Coca-Cola.

Posted by: Sal at February 25, 2014 12:34 PM (lrTwr)

265 http://tinyurl.com/nxad9ab

It's his fault, he didn't lock the garage.

Posted by: DaveA[/i][/b][/s] at February 25, 2014 12:42 PM (DL2i+)

266 "I'd have a decent-looking wife." I'de marry a man who didn't compensate.

Posted by: Cicero's wife at February 25, 2014 12:44 PM (SJ9wi)

267 I would fly to Africa and hire an entire tribe of pigmies to track and dart the Idiot of the week as I see it.  No poison. Just the pin cushion treatment every day for a week.

Piers would be screaming for dart-gun control in no time.

Posted by: typo dynamofo at February 25, 2014 12:45 PM (IVgIK)

268 Is it sad that I don't even recognize most of the "celebrities" in the pictures? Get off my lawn!

Posted by: logprof at February 25, 2014 12:46 PM (X3GkB)

269 I actually have a picture of my Mom- standing in a gun emplacement on Santa Rosa island-- that housed a 16" naval rifle. Circa 1964. Rifle was long gone- cut up for scrap. Damn pity.

Posted by: backhoe at February 25, 2014 12:47 PM (ULH4o)

270 Clooney, Timberlake, Beckham Posted by: EC at February 25, 2014 03:56 PM Good God, did you see how really super serious Clooney looks listening to TFG, like they're discussing the geopolitics of the Persian Gulf?

Posted by: kbdabear at February 25, 2014 12:55 PM (aTXUx)

271 163 If I won the lottery, I'd create a Castle Salvage company so that if EC ever won the lottery I'd be first in line to unsink his castles. It's called forward thinking, people. Posted by: Lincolntf at February 25, 2014 04:05 PM (ZshNr) If I won the lottery, I'd manufacture the heavy equipment that Lincolntf's Castle Salvage company would use. That is what is called planning for what is over the horizon.

Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper, formerly MrCaniac at February 25, 2014 12:56 PM (HxSXm)

272 I'd marry a gigantic assed, angry Klingon and send her all over the country to drive people insane. And I'd golf a lot...

Posted by: tu3031 at February 25, 2014 12:56 PM (nsQhi)

273 Don't we have Trump to blame for the presence of Piers Morgan on US soil?

Posted by: somebody else, not me at February 25, 2014 12:58 PM (29vnO)

274 188 WASHINGTON (AP) - Even the scoreboards in high school gyms will have to advertise only healthy foods under new rules announced Tuesday by the Obama administration. Let it be spoken, let it be done. Posted by: RWC at February 25, 2014 04:10 PM (fWAjv) In other news, high school sports programs announce that there will be no new scoreboards installed at our nations' high schools.

Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper, formerly MrCaniac at February 25, 2014 01:07 PM (HxSXm)

275 Well, since we're dreaming, if I won the lottery, I'd give most of it away. But I'd keep a bit for purchasing and placing 'supplies'. And of course, safe and dependable 'SUV's'.

Posted by: Erowmero at February 25, 2014 01:32 PM (OONaw)

276 Both men live on  other people's money. At least Donald Trump is smart enough NOT to listen to Oprah Winfrey.

Posted by: burt at February 26, 2014 07:50 AM (1+kJ5)

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