Ace of Spades HQ

April 25, 2014

News Of The Absurd Open Thread - [Niedermeyer's Dead Horse]
— Open Blogger

Someone with content will be along shortly, in the meantime...

IKEA Developing a 'Lower-Carbon' Swedish Meatball

"IKEA is a responsible company, and we believe that we can play an important role in the move towards a more sustainable society," the company announced on April 22, Earth Day.
"We will continue to sell the regular meatballs that our customers enjoy every day at IKEA. However we will also provide lower carbon alternatives; a chicken meatball and a vegetarian meatball are under development and will complement our meatball offer in 2015."
Environmentalists hailed the move away from meat: "This is one of the first times a major retailer has introduced a meatless menu item explicitly to combat climate change," said the Center for Biological Diversity.

And the cows rejoiced at the glorious news.

Posted by: Open Blogger at 08:57 AM | Comments (375)
Post contains 145 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Lower carbon Swedish meatball tastes like chicken.

Posted by: EC at April 25, 2014 08:59 AM (GQ8sn)

2 Where are the flying pigs?

Posted by: mrp at April 25, 2014 08:59 AM (JBggj)

3 News of the Absurd!

And this will differ from almost every bit of news to come out of America in the last five years how?

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at April 25, 2014 09:00 AM (AC0lD)

4 Yes, but is the end result of these meatballs higher methane production?

Posted by: Country Singer at April 25, 2014 09:00 AM (L8r/r)

5 1 Lower carbon Swedish meatball tastes like ~~chicken~~ ass.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 09:00 AM (DrWcr)

6 If only IKEA could focus on getting their assembly instructions to be remotely close to comprehensible they would really ring the bell. Meatless meatballs and reliable furniture, an unbeatable combination!

Posted by: MTF at April 25, 2014 09:00 AM (F58x4)

7 More balls, less meat! Forward, comrades!

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 25, 2014 09:01 AM (ZshNr)

8 Lower carbon Swedish meatball tastes like chicken. Lower carbon Swedish meatball tastes like sawdust.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 25, 2014 09:01 AM (UjHCx)

9 Those who are so fucking worried about the "carbon imprint" should be encouraged to hurry up and kill themselves so that they don't exacerbate the problem. Then the rest of us could blithely live our lives without their constant, annoying, ridiculous yammering.

Posted by: kathysaysso at April 25, 2014 09:01 AM (6H6o8)

f*ck the meatballs, where is the goat?

I'm lonely

Posted by: Achmed Mohammed at April 25, 2014 09:01 AM (W6iIX)

11 Why not serve it raw? Wouldn't that be the least carbon?

Posted by: Sir Pug A Lott at April 25, 2014 09:01 AM (8c12T)

12 Sanctuary for all! Those who arrive survive! Free meatballs!

Posted by: Terminus at April 25, 2014 09:01 AM (DrWcr)

13 Meatless meatball = estrogen producing soy.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 25, 2014 09:02 AM (UjHCx)

14 A few years back, there was some dopey company that made some frozen grocery food that had a huge schpiel about AGW on the back. This was right before the whole East Anglia thing blew up. Within a couple months, their packaging had changed with AGW totally omitted.

Posted by: Mega at April 25, 2014 09:02 AM (hHFOx)

15 I hear low carbon meat balls are popular at The Federalist.

Posted by: Dr Spank at April 25, 2014 09:02 AM (P1WNR)

16 Is it also made of fall-a-particle board like their 'furniture'?

Posted by: Soothsayer § at April 25, 2014 09:02 AM (HGVmj)

17 I put extra carbon on my Ikea meatballs.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 25, 2014 09:02 AM (8ZskC)

18 Posted by: EC at April 25, 2014 12:43 PM (GQ8sn) Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 25, 2014 09:02 AM (PYAXX)

19 15 I hear low carbon meat balls are popular at The Federalist.

Posted by: Dr Spank at April 25, 2014 01:02 PM (P1WNR)

Put 'em on an ungrateful loaf of bread, and that's one tasty sandwich!

Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 09:03 AM (DrWcr)

20 It's a tax you know

Posted by: John Roberts at April 25, 2014 09:03 AM (W6iIX)

21 Swedish Melonballs instead?

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 25, 2014 09:03 AM (ZshNr)

22 a vegetarian meatball O_o

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 25, 2014 09:03 AM (PYAXX)

23 Could we have Swedish funbags instead?

Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 09:03 AM (DrWcr)

24 a vegetarian meatball

It's people!

Posted by: EC at April 25, 2014 09:03 AM (GQ8sn)

25 The takeaway here isn't the stupid non-meat-meatball, it's the "trendy" fascism. This is bad shit, my fiends.

Posted by: Soothsayer § at April 25, 2014 09:04 AM (HGVmj)

26 Just spitballin' here, but I'll bet grinding up a shitload of trees to create cheap particle-board furniture releases a lot of carbon.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 25, 2014 09:04 AM (8ZskC)

Wouldn't a chicken meatball be called a "Fowl Ball"?

Posted by: West at April 25, 2014 09:04 AM (1Rgee)

28 Next up low-carbon meatless meatballs...

A madhouse....MADHOUSE!

Posted by: sven10077 at April 25, 2014 09:04 AM (TE35l)

29 Put 'em on an ungrateful loaf of bread, and that's one tasty sandwich! AoSHQ Style Guide Correction: Have a womyn put 'em on an ungrateful loaf of bread, and that's one tasty sandwich! (running)

Posted by: rickb223 at April 25, 2014 09:04 AM (UjHCx)

OT but equally absurd:
Idiots are protesting outside Philthy City Hall over crushing student loan debt.

Apparently they found out the hard way that the best job they can get with a wymyns studies degree involves saying "You want fries with that?"

So now they expected us to pay for their bad choices.

PS I didn't have the heart to tell them that the protest was invalid as there were no paper mache puppets.

Posted by: Drill Thrawl at April 25, 2014 09:04 AM (znT2j)

31 I'd boycott but they don't have any stores up here.

Posted by: Muad'dib at April 25, 2014 09:05 AM (sjdRT)

32 Always amazed me how Ikea was able to attract so many lesbians while serving meaty balls.

Posted by: garrett at April 25, 2014 09:05 AM (qeP6K)

33 Who would trust what a Scandi says anyway?

Posted by: kathysaysso at April 25, 2014 09:05 AM (6H6o8)

34 A meatless meatball is like turkey bacon The bible calls it a mortal sin

Posted by: MilitarizedThugCopJoe at April 25, 2014 09:05 AM (TKpwb)

35 Soooooooooo IKEA is following Chick Fil A's ad campaign suggestions? Furniture of Bigotry!

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 25, 2014 09:05 AM (mf5HN)

36 I Kill Every Animal!

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 25, 2014 09:05 AM (ZshNr)

37 Next up, zero-carbon organic goods!

Posted by: Mega at April 25, 2014 09:05 AM (hHFOx)

38 26 Just spitballin' here, but I'll bet grinding up a shitload of trees to create cheap particle-board furniture releases a lot of carbon.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 25, 2014 01:04 PM (8ZskC)

They use slaves with pencil sharpeners for that.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 09:06 AM (DrWcr)

39 Weren't they already serving meatballs not made from cows? Horsemeat if I recall.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2014 09:06 AM (da5Wo)

40 just give the cows beano

Posted by: forest at April 25, 2014 09:06 AM (stMuz)

41 35 Soooooooooo IKEA is following Chick Fil A's ad campaign suggestions?

Furniture of Bigotry!

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 25, 2014 01:05 PM (mf5HN)

Assembled with the Hex Wrench of Hate!

Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 09:06 AM (DrWcr)

42 Shit furniture from a shit company whose founder was pro-Nazi, from a shitty little country that is about become Muzzy. Next case.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 25, 2014 09:06 AM (CMkNk)

43 " carbon "

Posted by: Inigo Montoya at April 25, 2014 09:07 AM (gXRIG)

44 Oh, I get it. It's not just that Humans are Bad and Must be Eliminated for the Good of the Earth. It's that ALL ANIMALS are Bad and Must be Eliminated for the Good of the Earth. That's the only logical explanation for this. If you're concerned about the carbon that comes from killing cows, you must also (logically) be concerned about the much greater volume of methane that cows produce naturally. Thus the only solution is to kill all cows while you're killing all the people. But wait! Cows aren't the only animals that produce methane! So we have to find every animal that emits methane (I'm pretty sure that's basically all of them above the water line) and kill all of them, too. Of course, then there won't be as much carbon released from the atmosphere, so most of the plants will die, too, but that seems like a small price to pay for the Earth. Right?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 25, 2014 09:07 AM (PYAXX)

45 In the Malmo store, if you buy two bags of meatballs, they throw in a rape free.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 09:07 AM (DrWcr)

46 We're currently test-marketing gender-specific meatballs. Do you prefer the boy's meatballs or the girl's meatballs?

Posted by: McDonalds Corp., Heartless Enforcer of Demeaning Patriarchal Stereotypes at April 25, 2014 09:07 AM (8ZskC)

47 Uff da.

Posted by: grammie winger at April 25, 2014 09:07 AM (oMKp3)

48 Right?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 25, 2014 01:07 PM (PYAXX)

we have plans for the moose methane issue next

Posted by: Sven at April 25, 2014 09:08 AM (W6iIX)

49 Well, I wouldn't necessarily qualify this as absurd but it certainly is disappointing. I knew H.G. Wells was a lefty but the extent of the Stalin knob-slobbering here is revolting. http://tinyurl.com/lv5vjnw

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 25, 2014 09:08 AM (XUKZU)

50 A meatless meatball is nothing more than a lie disguised to make those eating them feel good about themselves for doing something good for the environment. Of course, the flatulence emitted after eating them totally negates that.

Posted by: Gmac-Pondering the coming implosion, and hoping its 404care at April 25, 2014 09:08 AM (baiNQ)

51 Jimmy Burke's crew has announced it was committed to becoming Carbone-neutral.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 25, 2014 09:08 AM (CMkNk)

52 But wait! Cows aren't the only animals that produce methane! So we have to find every animal that emits methane (I'm pretty sure that's basically all of them above the water line) and kill all of them, too. Whale farts.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 25, 2014 09:08 AM (UjHCx)

53 The conspicuous piety of a pseudo-religion.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i][/b] at April 25, 2014 09:08 AM (ujux6)

54 Here's a fun read: http://duncanroy.wordpress.com/ The guy is gay but hates gays, straight, leftys, especially HRC, the GOP, etc. IOW, everybody. He especially hates gay Hwd and Singer.

Posted by: Sir Pug A Lott at April 25, 2014 09:08 AM (8c12T)

55 Eat mor chiken

Posted by: Chick Fil A at April 25, 2014 09:08 AM (V70Uh)

56 Poland Spring is the worst of the trendy-get-along fascist corporations, I think. They decorate their plastic bottles with messages about how they much they care aboot the environment. Lulz.

Posted by: Soothsayer § at April 25, 2014 09:09 AM (HGVmj)

57 47 Uff da. Posted by: grammie winger at April 25, 2014 01:07 PM (oMKp3) In Barese dialect that would be "ooh-fah!"

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 25, 2014 09:09 AM (CMkNk)

58 AtC and the Attack of the Boob Spider http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/BOOB_df5e86_574540.jpg

Posted by: kbdabear at April 25, 2014 09:09 AM (aTXUx)

59 Where the hell is that picture from anyhow???

Posted by: EC at April 25, 2014 09:09 AM (GQ8sn)

60 Assembled with the Hex Wrench of Hate! Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 01:06 PM (DrWcr) Well, to be fair, I do hate the hex wrenches.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 25, 2014 09:09 AM (mf5HN)

61 42 "Shit furniture from a shit company whose founder was pro-Nazi, from a shitty little country that is about become Muzzy." I disagree. We put a IKEA kitchen in my son's house and it came out great. Good dish towels too.

Posted by: jwest at April 25, 2014 09:09 AM (u2a4R)

62 Dear CEO, My Parents Went to IKEA and All I Got Were These Lousy Girl Balls.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 25, 2014 09:09 AM (ZshNr)

63 53 The conspicuous piety of a pseudo-religion. Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 25, 2014 01:08 PM (ujux6) You nailed it.

Posted by: grammie winger at April 25, 2014 09:09 AM (oMKp3)

64 Enviromentalism is a religion it seems

Posted by: The Obvious Sock at April 25, 2014 09:10 AM (W6iIX)

65 Be kind to plants.

Don't eat them either.

Just die already.

Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at April 25, 2014 09:10 AM (V70Uh)

66 Posted by: rickb223 at April 25, 2014 01:08 PM (UjHCx) I was giving animals under the sea a pass, because a lot of that does get locked away in the sea. However, you have a good point. Those mammals respire *above* the waterline. They must be extinguished for the Good of the Earth, too.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 25, 2014 09:10 AM (PYAXX)

67 Thank Goodness! It is about time that mankind realizes that Carbon is the enemy of all living things and we need to eliminate it from the environment, our lives and (last but not least) our bodies!

Go Sweden! Lead the way!!!

Posted by: Kasper in Arrears..... at April 25, 2014 09:10 AM (HqpV0)

68 I guess this means they got that awkward horse meat content sorted out... or is that still on the table? Is horse more Gaia friendly than cow?

Posted by: RagamuffinB at April 25, 2014 09:10 AM (545ep)

69 They live in SWEDEN! Sweden is COLD! Embrace the warming, dipshits.

Posted by: AmishDude at April 25, 2014 09:10 AM (1UzRc)

70 Oh FFS. Sustainable, every freaking thing needs to show how sustainable it is. I guess that these idiots don't realize that the only thing that won't be sustainable will be their populations by the time the enviro-nazis get done.

Posted by: LFW - Honorary Pointy Eared Vulcan at April 25, 2014 09:10 AM (kZVsz)

71 These people are truly insane.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 25, 2014 09:10 AM (32Ze2)

72 I'd be cool with a "No Horse" option.

Posted by: VKI at April 25, 2014 09:11 AM (qySNZ)

73 A corpo-politico religion..

Posted by: Soothsayer § at April 25, 2014 09:11 AM (HGVmj)

74 Screw you Sweden. We're not letting go of our sweet sweet fossil fuels! You think the modern social democracy funds itself?

Posted by: Norway at April 25, 2014 09:11 AM (+7Usq)

75 If you're boner is sustainable for more than 4 hoursÂ… Win!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 25, 2014 09:11 AM (CMkNk)

76 Because when I think meatball, I think carbon... These idiots never miss a beat.

Posted by: dfbaskwill at April 25, 2014 09:11 AM (ndlFj)

77 58 AtC and the Attack of the Boob Spider http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/BOOB_df5e86_574540.jpg Posted by: kbdabear at April 25, 2014 01:09 PM (aTXUx) Rule 34. http://tinyurl.com/lo54lm7

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2014 09:11 AM (da5Wo)

78 69 They live in SWEDEN! Sweden is COLD! Embrace the warming, dipshits. Posted by: AmishDude at April 25, 2014 01:10 PM (1UzRc) Indeed. Eat moar meetballz

Posted by: grammie winger at April 25, 2014 09:11 AM (oMKp3)

79 Why don't they just leave the ingredients out and make you put your own meatball together.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 25, 2014 09:12 AM (ZshNr)

80 I was giving animals under the sea a pass, because a lot of that does get locked away in the sea. Methane is lighter than air. It WILL rise. Just like farting in the pool.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 25, 2014 09:12 AM (UjHCx)

81 The Girl With The Meatball Tattoo.

Posted by: EC at April 25, 2014 09:12 AM (GQ8sn)

82 They just decided they could save a lot of money by having their "meatballs" made at the same plant that makes their sawdust furniture.

Posted by: Kafiroon at April 25, 2014 09:12 AM (HZMpv)

83 Besides, I thought CAC was organic already...

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 25, 2014 09:12 AM (PYAXX)

84 Kateurday Open Thread Compliance Pic http://tinyurl.com/k3ydfpl

Posted by: kbdabear at April 25, 2014 09:13 AM (aTXUx)

85 61 42 "Shit furniture from a shit company whose founder was pro-Nazi, from a shitty little country that is about become Muzzy." I disagree. We put a IKEA kitchen in my son's house and it came out great. Good dish towels too. Posted by: jwest at April 25, 2014 01:09 PM (u2a4R) Okay, I will dial SOME of my rant back. A friend, who designed and built her own house, used the kitchen cabinets and made her own cabinet doors in the shop. Saved over $15,000. But fuck IKEA anyway.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 25, 2014 09:13 AM (CMkNk)

86 81 The Girl With The Meatball Tattoo.

Posted by: EC at April 25, 2014 01:12 PM (GQ8sn)

And its sequels:

The Girl Who Played with Meatballs

The Girl Who Kicked the Meatball Nest

Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 09:13 AM (DrWcr)

87 I've been waiting to post a comment with substance: http://tinyurl.com/lj6erjo

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 25, 2014 09:13 AM (BZAd3)

88 This is one of the first times a major retailer has introduced a meatless menu item explicitly to combat climate change," said the Center for Biological Diversity. "Center for Biological Diversity"? *snort* Pajama Boy bought a fax machine.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 25, 2014 09:13 AM (8ZskC)

89 We're all about sustainability. Which is why our population has decided not to reproduce itself and we're importing lots of immigrants.

Posted by: Sweden at April 25, 2014 09:13 AM (+7Usq)

90 81 The Girl With The Meatball Tattoo. Posted by: EC at April 25, 2014 01:12 PM (GQ8sn) There's a really dirty joke in there involving one of the Cobs, his wife and a mushroom stamp. I will refrain.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2014 09:13 AM (da5Wo)

91 Rule 34.

http://tinyurl.com/lo54lm7

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2014 01:11 PM (da5Wo)

Dude, the fuck? I mean...I just...I...GAAAH!

Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 09:14 AM (DrWcr)

92 IKEA will now use Muzzies in their next ad campaign. "IKEA YOU!!!!!"

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 25, 2014 09:14 AM (CMkNk)

93 What do they say about pig? Are pigs carbon neutral? Because I always put a little ground pork in my meatballs.

Posted by: grammie winger at April 25, 2014 09:14 AM (oMKp3)

94 Animals under the sea...like sea monkeys?

Posted by: Soothsayer § at April 25, 2014 09:14 AM (HGVmj)

95 Tonight I will celebrate "Biological Diversity" by ordering spicy chicken tenders, a tuna sub and a cheesesteak with peppers, onions and mushrooms. Maybe even a side of meatballs made with I dunno... MEAT.

Posted by: alf767 at April 25, 2014 09:14 AM (gULIS)

96
Its pronounced "car-BAHN"..... Im one of the atomic framily.

Posted by: fixerupper at April 25, 2014 09:14 AM (nELVU)

97 94 Animals under the sea...like sea monkeys? Posted by: Soothsayer Â§ at April 25, 2014 01:14 PM (HGVmj) Just add water! Let me get my X-ray SpexÂ…

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 25, 2014 09:15 AM (CMkNk)

98 Bicycle Because Gaia Open Thread Compliance Pic http://tinyurl.com/mmrn7n6

Posted by: kbdabear at April 25, 2014 09:15 AM (aTXUx)

99 If we stop eating meat, do people think farmers will keep cows as pets? Or just shoot them.

Posted by: Bruce at April 25, 2014 09:15 AM (vJfir)

100 In related news, Volvo is planning to reduce it's standard vehicle reliability by 17% in order to combat urban sprawl.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 25, 2014 09:15 AM (ZshNr)

101 33 Posted by: kathysaysso at April 25, 2014 01:05 PM (6H6o

vi skal overvinne ... vi skal overvinne

Posted by: sven10077 at April 25, 2014 09:15 AM (TE35l)

102 Is Ace getting a liver transplant or something?

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at April 25, 2014 09:15 AM (oFCZn)

103 Someone with content will be along shortly Objection. Arguing from facts not in evidence.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 25, 2014 09:15 AM (PYAXX)

104 They just decided they could save a lot of money by having their "meatballs" made at the same plant that makes their sawdust furniture. Heh. I'll bet you're right.

Posted by: Soothsayer § at April 25, 2014 09:15 AM (HGVmj)

105 95 Tonight I will celebrate "Biological Diversity" by ordering spicy chicken tenders, a tuna sub and a cheesesteak with peppers, onions and mushrooms. Maybe even a side of meatballs made with I dunno... MEAT. Posted by: alf767 at April 25, 2014 01:14 PM (gULIS) No bacon? Fucking RINO.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2014 09:15 AM (da5Wo)

106 They could just serve Swedish Balls. If there were such a thing.

Posted by: Dang at April 25, 2014 09:16 AM (MNq6o)

107 If we stop eating meat, do people think farmers will keep cows as pets? As a businessman, you always have to keep your eyes open for new markets for your product.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 25, 2014 09:16 AM (8ZskC)

108 I disagree. We put a IKEA kitchen in my son's house and it came out great. Good dish towels too. **** Their kitchen cabinets rate very highly. I had considered putting them in my house but never got around to remodeling the kitchen. Now, my rental has them. Very nice.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 25, 2014 09:16 AM (DmNpO)

109

Is it too early for Aquavit?

Posted by: The Obvious Sock at April 25, 2014 09:16 AM (W6iIX)

110 If they come after the lingonberries, they will have to go through my dead body first.

Posted by: grammie winger at April 25, 2014 09:16 AM (oMKp3)

111 If we stop eating meat, do people think farmers will keep cows as pets? *** Free-range cows!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 25, 2014 09:16 AM (DmNpO)

112 You MFs are on a roll today. Good topic for riffin, Thanks NDH.

Posted by: The Jackhole at April 25, 2014 09:17 AM (nTgAI)

113 I am going to start "People For the Ethical Treatment of Plants". PETP. First crusade will be to ban the harvesting and sale of Baby Veggies..... Like Baby Carrots and Baby Peas. Will feature these little veggies weeping as they are ripped from Mother Gaia. Should be pretty effective.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 25, 2014 09:17 AM (32Ze2)

114 If they come after the lingonberries Is that a euphemism for something?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 25, 2014 09:17 AM (PYAXX)

115 "Okay, I will dial SOME of my rant back. A friend, who designed and built her own house, used the kitchen cabinets and made her own cabinet doors in the shop. Saved over $15,000. " My son's house is on a lake and we couldn't decide what the kitchen should look like, so we went with dark cherry and stainless steel mix of cabinet doors. However, we can change to an all white and glass look in an afternoon with a different set of doors. When we were done, my wife wanted to scrap our expensive custom kitchen for one like that.

Posted by: jwest at April 25, 2014 09:17 AM (u2a4R)

116 Is Ace on probation?

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at April 25, 2014 09:17 AM (oFCZn)

117 The Twitchy treatment of SCOAMT's hashtag diplomacy is epic. *I'm an unpaid non-attorney, non-spokesperson.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 25, 2014 09:18 AM (BZAd3)

118

Is Achmed Mohammed still around?

hate that guy, thinks spit is lube

Posted by: The Goat at April 25, 2014 09:18 AM (W6iIX)

119 49 Well, I wouldn't necessarily qualify this as absurd but it certainly is disappointing. I knew H.G. Wells was a lefty but the extent of the Stalin knob-slobbering here is revolting. http://tinyurl.com/lv5vjnw Posted by: WalrusRex at April 25, 2014 01:08 PM (XUKZU) One of Wells many mistresses was Moira Budberg. She was Maxim's Gorky's mistress and Bruce Lockhart's mistress. She was undoubtedly working for the Cheka and then the NKVD. She finally immigrated to the UK and wrote screenplays. Her great nephew is Nick Clegg. Small world....

Posted by: Sir Pug A Lott at April 25, 2014 09:18 AM (8c12T)

120 First they came for the cows, but I said nothing because I preferred bacon.

Posted by: Martin Niemoller at April 25, 2014 09:18 AM (8ZskC)

121 Animals under the sea...like sea monkeys? Posted by: Soothsayer � at April 25, 2014 01:14 PM (HGVmj) Just add water! Add Palcohol & get poo flinging drunken monkeys.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 25, 2014 09:18 AM (UjHCx)

122 114 If they come after the lingonberries

Is that a euphemism for something?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 25, 2014 01:17 PM (PYAXX)

*lights cigarette* Sorry baby, but it was really good for me!

Posted by: Lingonberries at April 25, 2014 09:18 AM (DrWcr)

123
orbi ishki orbi
orbi dishky do.....

orbi ishki orbi un

BORK BORK BORK BORK!!!

Posted by: the Swedish Chef at April 25, 2014 09:18 AM (nELVU)

124 Jimmy Burke's crew has announced it was committed to becoming Carbone-neutral.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 25, 2014 01:08 PM (CMkNk)
=====

Heh- now I've got the piano riff from "Layla" stuck in my head...

Posted by: Nighthawk at April 25, 2014 09:18 AM (OtQXp)

125 Rule 34. http://tinyurl.com/lo54lm7 Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2014 01:11 PM (da5Wo) I am punching you in the junk for that one. You. Have. Been. Warned.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 25, 2014 09:19 AM (mf5HN)

126 116 Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at April 25, 2014 01:17 PM (oFCZn)

More likely Animal Control caught him and is confused as fuck.

Posted by: sven10077 at April 25, 2014 09:19 AM (TE35l)

127 I am going to start "People For the Ethical Treatment of Plants". PETP. First crusade will be to ban the harvesting and sale of Baby Veggies..... Like Baby Carrots and Baby Peas. Will feature these little veggies weeping as they are ripped from Mother Gaia. Should be pretty effective. *** Fruitarian!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 25, 2014 09:19 AM (DmNpO)

128 So, de beency bouncy burger, eh?

Posted by: Swedish Chef at April 25, 2014 09:19 AM (BAS5M)

129 ABBA. Because ...

Posted by: mrp at April 25, 2014 09:19 AM (JBggj)

130 Is Ace on probation? He probably banned himself again.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 25, 2014 09:19 AM (UjHCx)

131 BORK BORK BORK BORK!!! Posted by: the Swedish Chef at April 25, 2014 01:18 PM (nELVU) Who knew that "Bork" translated from Swedish was "Derp?"

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 25, 2014 09:19 AM (PYAXX)

132 If carbon is what makes beef so tasty, then I'll have mine with extra carbon. And mebbe some carbon on the side.

Posted by: jwpaine at April 25, 2014 09:20 AM (68O4K)

133 1969 Alka-Seltzer commercial Mama Mia! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48TewJlc6BA

Posted by: kbdabear at April 25, 2014 09:20 AM (aTXUx)

134 I've got big balls, She's got big balls, but whose got the biggest meatless balls of all ?

Posted by: The Jackhole at April 25, 2014 09:20 AM (nTgAI)

135 I am going to start "People For the Ethical Treatment of Plants" Splitter!

Posted by: The Peoples' Plant Liberation Front at April 25, 2014 09:20 AM (8ZskC)

136 Oh, God! Now he's humping my LEG!

Posted by: Animal Control Office who caught Ace at April 25, 2014 09:20 AM (PYAXX)

137 No wood meatball?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at April 25, 2014 09:21 AM (I9I9J)

138 Just had some hot dogs for lunch. Eco-loons can go fuck themselves to a one.

Posted by: sans_sheriff at April 25, 2014 09:21 AM (D8m/s)

139 I've got big balls, She's got big balls, but whose got the biggest meatless balls of all ? Obama.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 25, 2014 09:21 AM (UjHCx)

140 Shouldn't meatless meatballs be called "balls"?
Not a good marketing plan.

Posted by: tu3031 at April 25, 2014 09:21 AM (1Hxgp)

141 Just maybe Ace is in love. Is that too hard to fathom??? And he is spending long morings with his lady love in bed.

Posted by: Sir Pug A Lott at April 25, 2014 09:21 AM (8c12T)

142 The only Free Range Chickens I have ever seen were in East El Lay. Serious. Wandering around the street, must have been about 20 of them.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 25, 2014 09:21 AM (32Ze2)

143 What does he mean "You don't come here for the hunting!?" Oh, God...

Posted by: Animal Control Office who caught Ace at April 25, 2014 09:21 AM (PYAXX)

144 Tornado watch just announced. Yay!

Posted by: mrp at April 25, 2014 09:22 AM (JBggj)

145 No wood meatball? Sawdust IS wood.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 25, 2014 09:22 AM (UjHCx)

146 141 Just maybe Ace is in love. Is that too hard to fathom??? And he is spending long morings with his lady love in bed.

Posted by: Sir Pug A Lott at April 25, 2014 01:21 PM (8c12T)

Yub yub!

Posted by: Ace's lady love at April 25, 2014 09:22 AM (DrWcr)

147 Just maybe Ace is in love. Is that too hard to fathom??? And he is spending long morings with his lady love in bed.

Posted by: Sir Pug A Lott at April 25, 2014 01:21 PM (8c12T)

When you say "bed", you really mean "landfill" right?

Posted by: EC at April 25, 2014 09:22 AM (GQ8sn)

148

Bread makes me poop.

Posted by: Ed Davis - Center for Biological Diversity at April 25, 2014 09:22 AM (nBE5A)

149 138 Just had some hot dogs for lunch. Eco-loons can go fuck themselves to a one. Posted by: sans_sheriff at April 25, 2014 01:21 PM (D8m/s) Well, technically, you probably did go meat free.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2014 09:22 AM (da5Wo)

150 Speaking of Sweden, has anyone seen/heard that new Volvo commercial? I swear that every time that hot sounding little spokesbabe says "we are Volvo, from Swee-den" I nearly cream my dockers. (I don't even like Volvos).

Posted by: maddogg at April 25, 2014 09:22 AM (xWW96)

151 The more diverse the menu, the more area you have to cover to get the items for your new diverse menu. Look at a map, Ikea, your running all over picking up chicken meat and mashed up veggies is creating a larger carbon footprint because you still have to run over a pick up the beef.

Can you fault them? They know this is BS but they also know their customers are idiots who don't think things through and they'll literally eat this up.

Posted by: Dang at April 25, 2014 09:23 AM (MNq6o)

152 **weeping, curled into the fetal position**

Posted by: Animal Control Officer who caught Ace at April 25, 2014 09:23 AM (PYAXX)

153 Tornado watch just announced. Yay! Extreme weather and Ikea carbon-laden meatballs. Coincidence?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 25, 2014 09:23 AM (8ZskC)

154 150 138 Just had some hot dogs for lunch. Eco-loons can go fuck themselves to a one.

Posted by: sans_sheriff at April 25, 2014 01:21 PM (D8m/s)

Well, technically, you probably did go meat free.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2014 01:22 PM (da5Wo)

Lips and assholes, man, lips and assholes.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 09:23 AM (DrWcr)

155 146 Posted by: Ace's lady love at April 25, 2014 01:22 PM (DrWcr)

Lady and the Tramp...

Posted by: sven10077 at April 25, 2014 09:23 AM (TE35l)

156 114 If they come after the lingonberries Is that a euphemism for something? Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 25, 2014 01:17 PM (PYAXX) I never joke about lingonberries . In fact I have 5 gallons of lingonberries in my emergency food stash. When the burning times come, you all will be begging me for lingonberries.

Posted by: grammie winger at April 25, 2014 09:23 AM (oMKp3)

157 Well, technically, you probably did go meat free.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2014 01:22 PM (da5Wo)

Nahhh, lips and assholes

Posted by: The Jackhole at April 25, 2014 09:23 AM (nTgAI)

158 Fly Lutheran Air! http://youtu.be/KakIacaDyCI

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 25, 2014 09:24 AM (mf5HN)

159 Reading what Boner John said ridiculing Tea Partiers was bad enough but listening to it is worse. Also, note, he doesn't get a very positive response.

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 25, 2014 09:24 AM (XUKZU)

160 Lips and assholes, man, lips and assholes. Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 01:23 PM (DrWcr) Hey now, no one wants to hear about your Friday night. Unless she's hot. Then....well...you know the rule.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2014 09:24 AM (da5Wo)

161 Well, technically, you probably did go meat free. Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2014 01:22 PM (da5Wo) Welcome to the Jungle, baby.

Posted by: Upton Sinclair at April 25, 2014 09:24 AM (PYAXX)

162 Jaaa!! FlaggPunsch ees on me! SurstrÃ¶mming und meety bolls forr eveeryvan!

Posted by: Swedish Chef at April 25, 2014 09:24 AM (BAS5M)

163 Lips and assholes, man, lips and assholes. Less filling! Tastes great!

Posted by: rickb223 at April 25, 2014 09:24 AM (UjHCx)

164 Speaking of Sweden, has anyone seen/heard that new Volvo commercial? I swear that every time that hot sounding little spokesbabe says "we are Volvo, from Swee-den" I nearly cream my dockers. (I don't even like Volvos).

Posted by: maddogg at April 25, 2014 01:22 PM (xWW96)

Yeah, that one grabs me too

Posted by: The Jackhole at April 25, 2014 09:25 AM (nTgAI)

165 Can you fault them? They know this is BS but they also know their customers are idiots who don't think things through and they'll literally eat this up. Posted by: Dang at April 25, 2014 01:23 PM (MNq6o) _______ I don't know if it's BS. This is a serious movement by the left to get rid of cows. We may laugh at it, but 10 years from now don't be surprised if eating a hamburger will be viewed the same as smoking crack by polite society.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at April 25, 2014 09:25 AM (0LHZx)

166 143 Posted by: Animal Control Office who caught Ace at April 25, 2014 01:21 PM (PYAXX)

Hope you wore your HiKarate! and have some Anka handy otherwise....things might get strange

Posted by: sven10077 at April 25, 2014 09:25 AM (TE35l)

167 Speaking of Sweden, has anyone seen/heard that new Volvo commercial? I swear that every time that hot sounding little spokesbabe says "we are Volvo, from Swee-den" I nearly cream my dockers. (I don't even like Volvos).
Posted by: maddogg at April 25, 2014 01:22 PM (xWW96)

Yeah, that one grabs me too

Posted by: The Jackhole at April 25, 2014 01:25 PM (nTgAI)

By the meatballs

Posted by: The Jackhole at April 25, 2014 09:25 AM (nTgAI)

168

We may laugh at it, but 10 years from now don't be surprised if eating a hamburger will be viewed the same as smoking crack by polite society.

10 years from now, smoking crack will be legal while eating a hamburger will get you sent to federal PMITA prison.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 09:26 AM (DrWcr)

169 Speaking of Sweden, has anyone seen/heard that new Volvo commercial? I swear that every time that hot sounding little spokesbabe says "we are Volvo, from Swee-den" I nearly cream my dockers. (I don't even like Volvos). Posted by: maddogg at April 25, 2014 01:22 PM (xWW96)

Which one is that?

Posted by: EC at April 25, 2014 09:26 AM (GQ8sn)

170 When the jet stream dips below Stockholm, it's like a teenager with a bottle of whiskey and his dad's car keys.

Posted by: mrp at April 25, 2014 09:26 AM (JBggj)

171
O/T

But fuck I feel old.....

I just mentioned to a couple of twenty somethings about their "Les Nessman" office door..... and they both looked at me like I was speaking Austrian.

They.Had.No.Idea.

Posted by: fixerupper at April 25, 2014 09:26 AM (nELVU)

172 I don't know if it's BS. This is a serious movement by the left to get rid of cows. We may laugh at it, but 10 years from now don't be surprised if eating a hamburger will be viewed the same as smoking crack by polite society. IOW, it'll be legal.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 25, 2014 09:26 AM (UjHCx)

173 One meatball
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=li0qPwn4U8Y

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at April 25, 2014 09:26 AM (I9I9J)

174 We may laugh at it, but 10 years from now don't be surprised if eating a hamburger will be viewed the same as smoking crack by polite society. *** There will be hamburger speakeasies.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 25, 2014 09:26 AM (DmNpO)

175 169 Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 01:26 PM (DrWcr)

I'll eat my steak...

and put some tofu eaters in the ground

Posted by: sven10077 at April 25, 2014 09:27 AM (TE35l)

176 I don't know if it's BS. This is a serious movement by the left to get rid of cows. We may laugh at it, but 10 years from now don't be surprised if eating a hamburger will be viewed the same as smoking crack by polite society. Yeah... I think they'll "get rid of cows" about the 10th of Nevember. Of course, we could always derail it by pointing out that getting rid of cows as food animals would give Chick-fil-A a huge competitive advantage.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 25, 2014 09:27 AM (PYAXX)

177 I cun't stup eateeng thuse-a demn Svedeesh no-meety bolls!!

Posted by: Swedish Chef at April 25, 2014 09:27 AM (BAS5M)

178 175 Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 25, 2014 01:26 PM (DmNpO)

The password is "Crisco"

Posted by: sven10077 at April 25, 2014 09:27 AM (TE35l)

179 174 One meatball
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=li0qPwn4U8Y

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at April 25, 2014 01:26 PM (I9I9J)

One is the loneliest meatball that you'll ever do

Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 09:27 AM (DrWcr)

180 I go into the ginormous IKEA store, and I can't help but mourn for all of the poor hydrocarbons that had to die in the making of all of the plastic shit, all of the earth - scarred forever in the mining of all of the metals used in making all of the metal shit, imagining all of the forests decimated in making all of the wood shit. I mourn, I tell you. But I kinda like the meatballs. So in the end, I feel better. Peace returns to the world. Why? Because their meatballs have reduced carbon. That's why. Shut up.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 25, 2014 09:27 AM (BZAd3)

181 We may laugh at it, but 10 years from now don't be surprised if eating a hamburger will be viewed the same as smoking crack by polite society. - Decades ago Kurt Vonnegut wrote a story about a planet where eating was the porn. You'd go to sleazy theaters to watch people pig out.

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 25, 2014 09:27 AM (XUKZU)

182 Which one is that?

Posted by: EC at April 25, 2014 01:26 PM (GQ8sn)

It's a new one. I can't seem to find it via Google.

Posted by: maddogg at April 25, 2014 09:27 AM (xWW96)

183 Remember when ROCKY ate a tasty RATBURGER in JUDGE DREDD?

Posted by: soothsayerwing plover at April 25, 2014 09:27 AM (HGVmj)

184 "This is one of the first times a major retailer has introduced a meatless menu item explicitly to combat climate change," said the Center for Biological Diversity.

Question: What exactly is going to go into this meatless "meat"ball? Because depending on the meat substitute, you might be trading one form of flatulence (cow farts) for another (pretentious vegetarian farts).

Another question: For the chicken meatball - do enviroweenies think chickens don't flatulate (shut up, it's totally a word b/c I said so)?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 25, 2014 09:27 AM (4df7R)

185 I just mentioned to a couple of twenty somethings about their "Les Nessman" office door. Their what now?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 25, 2014 09:28 AM (PYAXX)

186 159 Fly Lutheran Air! Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 25, 2014 01:24 PM (mf5HN) Tell the truth....it's what you're wearing right now, isn't it? http://tinyurl.com/k8hulw2

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2014 09:28 AM (da5Wo)

187 Hey now, no one wants to hear about your Friday night.

Unless she's hot.

Then....well...you know the rule.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2014 01:24 PM (da5Wo)

Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 09:28 AM (DrWcr)

188 BC@105 I forget to mention that the meatballs come already wrapped in bacon aka Baconballs!

Posted by: alf767 at April 25, 2014 09:28 AM (gULIS)

189 They can take my bacon cheeseburger when they pry it from my cold, dead hand.

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at April 25, 2014 01:27 PM (OWjjx)

This ^^

Posted by: The Jackhole at April 25, 2014 09:28 AM (nTgAI)

190 By 1996, we'll ALL be eating RATBURGERS.

Posted by: soothsayerwing plover at April 25, 2014 09:28 AM (HGVmj)

191 Vegetarian Meatball = Falafel Ikea is going halal

Posted by: McCool at April 25, 2014 09:28 AM (nCSwS)

192 Another question: For the chicken meatball - do enviroweenies think chickens don't flatulate (shut up, it's totally a word b/c I said so)?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 25, 2014 01:27 PM (4df7R)

They probably think chickens don't shit, either.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 09:28 AM (DrWcr)

193 I don't know if it's BS. This is a serious movement by the left to get rid of cows. We may laugh at it, but 10 years from now don't be surprised if eating a hamburger will be viewed the same as smoking crack by polite society. Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo

Beef meatballs are still on the menu. They are adding to the menu and pretending it's making their carbon footprint smaller when it is actually making it larger. Marketing geniuses. But only because their target market is full-time idiot.

Posted by: Dang at April 25, 2014 09:29 AM (MNq6o)

194 I'm moving away from meat. Sort of.

Posted by: Prez'nit 404 at April 25, 2014 09:29 AM (Dwehj)

195 Uh.... there have been vegetarian meatballs for years... The reason they don't catch on? The don't taste very good... (says the guy who dated a Vegetarian for a year more than a decade ago...).

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 25, 2014 09:29 AM (84gbM)

196 That's not good. DRUDGE REPORT ‏@DRUDGE_REPORT 2m CDC: 1 in 13 kids taking prescription psych meds... http://drudge.tw/1lPmhK8

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 25, 2014 09:29 AM (ZPrif)

197 Their what now?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 25, 2014 01:28 PM (PYAXX)

-----

ahem....... *they're*

fucking kids, git off my lawn....

Posted by: fixerupper at April 25, 2014 09:29 AM (nELVU)

198 185
Remember when ROCKY ate a tasty RATBURGER in JUDGE DREDD?

Posted by: soothsayerwing plover at April 25, 2014 01:27 PM (HGVmj)

No, but I remember he ate a rat burger in Demolition Man.

Posted by: maddogg at April 25, 2014 09:29 AM (xWW96)

199 Does that mean they'll stop serving dingleberries?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 25, 2014 09:29 AM (CMkNk)

200 We may laugh at it, but 10 years from now don't be surprised if eating a hamburger will be viewed the same as smoking crack by polite society.

***

There will be hamburger speakeasies.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 25, 2014 01:26 PM (DmNpO)

LOL!

In the short-lived scifi show, Seaquest DSV, there was one ep where a junior officer got his hands on some contraband: grade A beef. He was going to make it into a hamburger and grill it inside his cabin, away from everyone else, because possession and consumption of beef in the future was illegal. The captain (Roy Scheider, RIP) finds him and busts him with the hamburger about to be eaten, so the LT-jg gives it up to him. The Captain is seen taking several quick bites of it before he dumps it into the trash.

Posted by: EC at April 25, 2014 09:30 AM (GQ8sn)

201

Ikea is proud to introduce reduced carbon, free range BALLS to their menu.

Regular flavor and schwetty flavors will be available

Posted by: The Jackhole at April 25, 2014 09:30 AM (nTgAI)

202

Remember when ROCKY ate a tasty RATBURGER in JUDGE DREDD?

I remember when he climbed up a mountain to armwrestle a guy in The Expendables.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 09:30 AM (DrWcr)

203 196 Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at April 25, 2014 01:29 PM (OWjjx)

He bought into Bang on Chimpy and he is a hypocritical guy on Taxes...

Nice rant but like Andrew Dice Clay he was playing a character in his stand-up...

Posted by: sven10077 at April 25, 2014 09:30 AM (TE35l)

204 Have you tried my Kenyan meatballs? De-lish.

Posted by: Prez'nit 404 at April 25, 2014 09:31 AM (Dwehj)

205 No, but I remember he ate a rat burger in Demolition Man. I always get them mixed up.

Posted by: Soothsayer § at April 25, 2014 09:31 AM (HGVmj)

206 As far as cutting down on the farts, Swedes eat a lot of beans. Just sayin this is a lost cause before we ever get started here.

Posted by: grammie winger at April 25, 2014 09:31 AM (oMKp3)

207 They probably think chickens don't shit, either.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 01:28 PM (DrWcr)

Despite being referred to as "chicken shits" themselves pretty much every day by everyone they meet.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 25, 2014 09:31 AM (4df7R)

208 Remember the Meatball Song?

Posted by: Sir Pug A Lott at April 25, 2014 09:31 AM (8c12T)

209 Regular flavor and schwetty flavors will be available

Posted by: The Jackhole at April 25, 2014 01:30 PM (nTgAI)

Salty chocolate balls will be added to the dessert menu.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 09:31 AM (DrWcr)

210 You want a coincidence? I WILL SHOW YOU A COINCIDENCE! (in Hans Gruber voice.

LINK: https://twitter.com/chrislhayes/status/448885024528818176

Posted by: mrp at April 25, 2014 09:31 AM (JBggj)

211 Wait until you sample my balls.

Posted by: Pete Schweddy at April 25, 2014 09:31 AM (BAS5M)

212 There will be hamburger speakeasies. Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 25, 2014 01:26 PM (DmNpO) _______________ With Flappers?

Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 25, 2014 09:31 AM (32Ze2)

213 Tell the truth....it's what you're wearing right now, isn't it? http://tinyurl.com/k8hulw2 Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2014 01:28 PM (da5Wo) No. No, I am not. *clings to MWR* Go read the horribleness that happened to me. It's in the thread below. Also I have this for you: http://bit.ly/1pyTcIM

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 25, 2014 09:31 AM (mf5HN)

214 In Judge Dredd, Rocky had sex with the Orgasmatron and Sandra Bullock.

Posted by: Soothsayer § at April 25, 2014 09:31 AM (HGVmj)

215 Does that mean they'll stop serving dingleberries? They'll just repackage them & call them clingon berries.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 25, 2014 09:31 AM (UjHCx)

216 Meatless meatballs are a stain on Americas honor.

Posted by: John McVain at April 25, 2014 09:31 AM (Px4PF)

217 No, wait, that was Demolition Man, too.

Posted by: Soothsayer § at April 25, 2014 09:32 AM (HGVmj)

218 chickens don't flatulate (shut up, it's totally a word b/c I said so)? - Years ago a friend of mine married a French guy. His family was anxious to impress her and they were all big skiers. When she met them they had labeled all of the various rooms and stuff in English to help her. One room was labeled "Fart Room." Turns out the French verb for to wax one's skis is "farter".

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 25, 2014 09:32 AM (XUKZU)

219 No. No, I am not. Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 25, 2014 01:31 PM (mf5HN) DO YOU SEE THIS HORDE????? The Empress is sans undergarments.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2014 09:32 AM (da5Wo)

220 The problem with IKEA is that there a lack of consistency. They sell some good stuff and they sell some junk.

Posted by: navybrat at April 25, 2014 09:32 AM (JgC5a)

221 They are Brother 404's special hut recipe.

Posted by: Prez'nit 404 at April 25, 2014 09:33 AM (Dwehj)

222 They want to force to eat like poor Mexicans, beans and rice. Cause copying the dietary habits of the only country with obesity rates higher than America is super smart.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 25, 2014 09:33 AM (ZPrif)

223
** perks up

The Empress has no clothes???

Posted by: fixerupper at April 25, 2014 09:33 AM (nELVU)

224

162Well, technically, you probably did go meat free.
Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2014 01:22 PM (da5Wo)

Welcome to the Jungle, baby.
Posted by: Upton Sinclair at April 25, 2014 01:24 PM (PYAXX)

Mary had a little lamb.

And when it became sicken.

They sent it off to Packing Town.

And Now it's labeled chicken.

Posted by: Drill Thrawl at April 25, 2014 09:33 AM (znT2j)

225 In Judge Dredd, Rocky had sex with the Orgasmatron and Sandra Bullock. - Orgasmatron was better and didn't insist on sharing its feelings.

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 25, 2014 09:33 AM (XUKZU)

226 How the hell can you get Demolition Man confused with any other movie. It is like the best picture ever made. It is the Zach Greinke of movies.

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at April 25, 2014 01:33 PM (OWjjx)

Because Brian Dennehy wasn't in it!

Posted by: EC at April 25, 2014 09:33 AM (GQ8sn)

227 You want a coincidence? I WILL SHOW YOU A COINCIDENCE! (in Hans Gruber voice. LINK: https://twitter.com/chrislhayes/status/448885024528818176 Posted by: mrp at April 25, 2014 01:31 PM (JBggj) Did he just misspell man?

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 25, 2014 09:34 AM (mf5HN)

228 Posted by: Dang at April 25, 2014 01:29 PM (MNq6o) Economic warfare is being waged by our own Government, against its citizens. Cattle in America is at the same level as 61 years ago.... when the US population was 159 Million.... vs 317 Million.... which is almost exactly DOUBLE...

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 25, 2014 09:34 AM (84gbM)

229 the Center for Biological Diversity.

Do we really need a center for that? Doesn't the Earth come already equipped with Biological Diversity?

Posted by: TheQuietMan at April 25, 2014 09:34 AM (1Jaio)

230

Found that Volvo commercial.

http://tinyurl.com/lplvux2

Posted by: maddogg at April 25, 2014 09:34 AM (xWW96)

231 Good NRA video Bloomberg is gonna be great for the NRA. Brad Thor ‏@BradThor Tell #Bloomberg he may have his millions, but we have millions willing to stand against him! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8gyEjToC1M Â… $25 & Join the @NRA #2A

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 25, 2014 09:34 AM (ZPrif)

232 Cause copying the dietary habits of the only country with obesity rates higher than America is super smart. Tortillas made with lard.....

Posted by: rickb223 at April 25, 2014 09:34 AM (UjHCx)

233 230 Posted by: EC at April 25, 2014 01:33 PM (GQ8sn)

Brian Dennehey played the cooling pit.

Posted by: sven10077 at April 25, 2014 09:34 AM (TE35l)

234 *clings to MWR*

Go read the horribleness that happened to me. It's in the thread below.

Horribleness?!?!!?? NO!

Also I have this for you:

http://bit.ly/1pyTcIM Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 25, 2014 01:31 PM (mf5HN)

*COOO* Sword-swinging Karl Urban FOR. THE. WIN.

DO YOU SEE THIS HORDE?????

The Empress is sans undergarments.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2014 01:32 PM (da5Wo)

Nonsense!

The Horde can see no such thing unless our queen stands on five or six more Stepstools of Awesome.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 25, 2014 09:34 AM (4df7R)

235 Ending the use of meat is like ending slavery.

Posted by: Chris Hayes at April 25, 2014 09:34 AM (FcR7P)

236 Ever use an auto-flush toilet in a small bathroom stall? So the thing flushes when you stand up. Then keeps flushing periodically as you wipe. Seems a bit much.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/s][/i][/b][/s] at April 25, 2014 09:34 AM (o4Xc4)

237 Did he just misspell man? Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 25, 2014 01:34 PM (mf5HN) He did. And we're losing to these fucking idiots.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2014 09:34 AM (da5Wo)

238 230 How the hell can you get Demolition Man confused with any other movie. It is like the best picture ever made. It is the Zach Greinke of movies. Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at April 25, 2014 01:33 PM (OWjjx) Because Brian Dennehy wasn't in it! Posted by: EC at April 25, 2014 01:33 PM (GQ8sn) I thought he played Taco Bell....

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 25, 2014 09:35 AM (84gbM)

239 The problem with IKEA is that there a lack of consistency. They sell some good stuff and they sell some junk. *** This is true. Their kitchen cabinets, racks, utensils, bowls, etc... are fantastic. I even bought a couple of blankets from there that I really like, but much of their stuff is awful.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 25, 2014 09:35 AM (DmNpO)

240 Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 25, 2014 01:34 PM (mf5HN) Yes. Which makes sense, since "man" is something completely foreign to Chris Hayes' nature. Personal Note- hearing negative things about Chris Hayes is often confusing to me- the Youth & Family Minister at the church I attend shares the name. He's far less pretentious, however.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 25, 2014 09:35 AM (PYAXX)

241 Democrats used to campaign on "A Chicken In Every Pot!" Now it's promises to starve and impoverish you for you're own good cause meat is murder. Also racism.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 25, 2014 09:36 AM (ZPrif)

242 A low carbon meatball? So IKEA wants to sell a plastic meatball?

And science fiction writers bang heads into keyboards.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 25, 2014 09:36 AM (L8umz)

243 No, but I remember he ate a rat burger in Demolition Man. I know the technical definition of rat is a mammal with a hairless tail, but hasn't anyone who's eaten squirrel pretty much had rat?

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/s][/i][/b][/s] at April 25, 2014 09:36 AM (o4Xc4)

244 Well, there's no beating my Balls. They're made from a secret Schweddy Family recipe. No one can resist my Schweddy Balls. IKEA can't touch them.

Posted by: Pete Schweddy at April 25, 2014 09:36 AM (BAS5M)

245 Ever heard a meatball bark? It's rather a shock at first, but you get used to it.

Posted by: Prez'nit 404 at April 25, 2014 09:37 AM (Dwehj)

246 Is a squirrel a rodent? And chickmunks, too?

Posted by: Soothsayer § at April 25, 2014 09:37 AM (HGVmj)

247 know the technical definition of rat is a mammal with a hairless tail, but hasn't anyone who's eaten squirrel pretty much had rat?

Posted by: bonhomme at April 25, 2014 01:36 PM (o4Xc4)

No,because while they are both rodents, thats about all they have in common.

Posted by: maddogg at April 25, 2014 09:37 AM (xWW96)

248 DO YOU SEE THIS HORDE????? The Empress is sans undergarments. Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2014 01:32 PM (da5Wo) Well, it's a little early for the ONT... But, fine. *takes off pants* *pours two fingers of Val-U-Rite*

Posted by: naturalfake at April 25, 2014 09:38 AM (0cMkb)

249 I can source them a meatless meatball out of China for pennies on the dollar. Melamine don't fart.

Posted by: garrett at April 25, 2014 09:38 AM (uLAEN)

250 Economic warfare is being waged by our own Government, against its citizens.

Cattle in America is at the same level as 61 years ago.... when the US population was 159 Million.... vs 317 Million.... which is almost exactly DOUBLE... Posted by: Romeo13

I realize the end game but meat is still on their menu so they have not reduced any carbon, they've only added to it with the new items.

Posted by: Dang at April 25, 2014 09:38 AM (MNq6o)

251 I won't eat meatless meat products or anything labeled "sustainable". There's something about the flavor of smug that bothers me.

Posted by: obladioblada at April 25, 2014 09:38 AM (w6/EI)

252 The Horde can see no such thing unless our queen stands on five or six more Stepstools of Awesome.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 25, 2014 01:34 PM (4df7R)

We have ways...

Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 09:38 AM (DrWcr)

253 I know the technical definition of rat is a mammal with a hairless tail, but hasn't anyone who's eaten squirrel pretty much had rat? Technically, yes. They are members of the rodenta family.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 25, 2014 09:38 AM (UjHCx)

254 DO YOU SEE THIS HORDE????? The Empress is sans undergarments. Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2014 01:32 PM (da5Wo) I did not say that. I did not not say that either. There is no spoon.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 25, 2014 09:38 AM (mf5HN)

255 Remember the Meatball Song? - On top of spaghetti all covered with cheese, I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed.

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 25, 2014 09:38 AM (XUKZU)

256 "And the cows rejoiced at the glorious news." Heh. More like the cows have been targeted for termination because of their flatulence. Where do you think the eco-loonies will want them to go after we all "embrace" the vegan diet?

Posted by: Lizzy at April 25, 2014 09:39 AM (8zTpe)

257 There's no such thing as a 'Big Coincidence'!

Posted by: Rava at April 25, 2014 09:39 AM (uLAEN)

258 234 Found that Volvo commercial. http://tinyurl.com/lplvux2 Posted by: maddogg at April 25, 2014 01:34 PM (xWW96) That's pretty. I like it.

Posted by: grammie winger at April 25, 2014 09:39 AM (oMKp3)

259 On top of spaghetti all covered with cheese,
I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed.

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 25, 2014 01:38 PM (XUKZU)

It rolled off the taaaaaaaable, and onto the flooooooor

And then my poor meatball rolled out through the doooooor

Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 09:39 AM (DrWcr)

260 (says the guy who dated a Vegetarian for a year more than a decade ago...).

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 25, 2014 01:29 PM (84gbM)

So no BJs for that year i'm guessing.

Posted by: Sexist Pig at April 25, 2014 09:39 AM (znT2j)

261 I won't eat meatless meat products or anything labeled "sustainable". There's something about the flavor of smug that bothers me. Tastes like ass.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 25, 2014 09:40 AM (UjHCx)

262 I won't eat meatless meat products or anything labeled "sustainable". There's something about the flavor of smug that bothers me. *** Decidedly bitter with just a twinge of sour.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 25, 2014 09:40 AM (DmNpO)

263 It just occured to me who's really behind this... Big Hindu!

Posted by: Soothsayer § at April 25, 2014 09:40 AM (HGVmj)

264 There is no spoon. Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 25, 2014 01:38 PM (mf5HN) How can there be a spoon when you make us sleep on the floor, my Queen?

Posted by: garrett at April 25, 2014 09:40 AM (uLAEN)

265 I did not say that. I did not not say that either. There is no spoon. Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 25, 2014 01:38 PM (mf5HN) Spoons can be used as mirrors.... *bends spoon just so...*

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2014 09:40 AM (da5Wo)

266 That reminds me, IrenefingIrene hasn't been around in a while.

Posted by: Soothsayer § at April 25, 2014 09:41 AM (HGVmj)

267 The eco-nazis want to kill off the cows, while reintroducing the wolves. Pretty much the opposite of what humanity has fought for the past several millienia.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 25, 2014 09:41 AM (ZPrif)

268 Heh. More like the cows have been targeted for termination because of their flatulence. Where do you think the eco-loonies will want them to go after we all "embrace" the vegan diet? *** I said right off the bat when the Hage ranch issue first came up that if the feds can't ban cow farts, they'll make raising them impossible.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 25, 2014 09:41 AM (DmNpO)

269 ♫So... if you eat spaghetti, all covered with cheese.

Hold on to your meatball, whenever you sneeze...♪

Posted by: fixerupper at April 25, 2014 09:41 AM (nELVU)

270 So is BCochran razzing the Empress again?

Sorry to hear things are horrible MWR.

Meet Boomer, the robot dinosaur - http://youtu.be/FcWpJq-4VuQ

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 25, 2014 09:41 AM (L8umz)

271 Cattle in America is at the same level as 61 years ago.... when the US population was 159 Million.... vs 317 Million.... which is almost exactly DOUBLE... Is that due to all the people who restrict their "red meat" intake though? People seem to do more variety now. Chicken, steak, shrimp, fish, rabbit, bison, etc instead of steak, hamburger, hamburger, hamburger, steak ...

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/s][/i][/b][/s] at April 25, 2014 09:41 AM (o4Xc4)

272 That reminds me, IrenefingIrene hasn't been around in a while.

Posted by: Soothsayer Â§ at April 25, 2014 01:41 PM (HGVmj)

IIRC, Ace ran him/her off.

Posted by: maddogg at April 25, 2014 09:42 AM (xWW96)

273 i will miss albondigas soup if they get their way. take my meatballs from my soup and live with tears the rest of your days.

Posted by: willow at April 25, 2014 09:42 AM (nqBYe)

274 Hi, everyone! I just wanted to say that- *farts* Oops. Sorr- *farts* Gosh, guess the lentils are fight- *farts for 30 seconds* Well, I jus *farts* Meat is mur- *farts* *farts some more* *farts again* *and so on...*

Posted by: Typical Vegan at April 25, 2014 09:42 AM (0cMkb)

275 So no BJs for that year i'm guessing. Nah. A girl's gotta get her protein somewhere.

Posted by: garrett at April 25, 2014 09:42 AM (uLAEN)

276 Yes! And I'm sure those will sell like GANGBUSTERS!!! I know the average Ikea customer is clearly a very upscale global warmist that has been pining for chicken or, better yet, MEATLESS meatballs. I'm sure they'll taste just dandy. Of course, don't you have to wonder... why would people predisposed to want vegetable based meatballs know what said meatballs would taste like so as to develop a desire for them in the first place ?

Posted by: deadrody at April 25, 2014 09:42 AM (b2D8X)

277 I remember an episode of "Chopped" where they gave the contestants vegan lobster... The good dishes were complimented on how they reduced or hid the flavor of the vegan lobster.

Posted by: nnptcgrad at April 25, 2014 09:42 AM (KafNv)

278 Pretty much the opposite of what humanity has fought for the past several millienia. This makes sense considering the eco-Nazis oppose humanity's very existence.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 25, 2014 09:42 AM (PYAXX)

279 Ikea was also one of the first to feature gay couples in its advertising.

Posted by: Mindy at April 25, 2014 09:43 AM (FBjwb)

280 265 (says the guy who dated a Vegetarian for a year more than a decade ago...).Posted by: Romeo13 at April 25, 2014 01:29 PM (84gbM) So no BJs for that year i'm guessing. Posted by: Sexist Pig at April 25, 2014 01:39 PM (znT2j) Actually? Just the opposite... why in the hell do you think I dated her for a year....

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 25, 2014 09:43 AM (84gbM)

281 From AtC in previous thread:

I went to use the bathroom and noticed there was a spider in the sink. I decided to suck it up and kill it myself because I am a strong, independent woman. I grabbed some paper towels and smashed it and then when I checked to see if it was dead the spider JUMPED AT MY FACE.

http://bit.ly/1nNAQiK

*KILLS IT WITH FIRE!!!*

*covers AtC with blankets and bubble wrap and sprays the surrounding air with can after can of extra strength Raid!*

Just imagine you're Chris Evans in this gif and you'll feel better. http://bit.ly/QLXDQG

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 25, 2014 09:43 AM (4df7R)

282 IIRC, Ace ran him/her off. Really? Why, does Ace hate Indians, or something?

Posted by: Soothsayer § at April 25, 2014 09:43 AM (HGVmj)

283 255 I won't eat meatless meat products or anything labeled "sustainable". There's something about the flavor of smug that bothers me.
***

Yes, the folks who've been glaringly, horribly wrong about every single fucking environmental prediction in the last three centuries are now Very Sure that our current civilization is unsustainable.

Posted by: B at April 25, 2014 09:43 AM (Pson9)

284 138?

The only hot dogs I can get here on the coast that taste like an honest to God old-fashioned hot dog are Nathan's or Hebrew National. All the others have no flavor.

Posted by: backhoe at April 25, 2014 09:43 AM (ULH4o)

285 Lizzie Warren's tribe switched from buffalo to oysters to reduce buffalo farts.

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 25, 2014 09:44 AM (XUKZU)

286 i think many restrict their intake of meat of any kind because of cost, some of us don't get free food. and the price of fruit? or and milk? nevermind.

Posted by: willow at April 25, 2014 09:44 AM (nqBYe)

287 >>I said right off the bat when the Hage ranch issue first came up that if the feds can't ban cow farts, they'll make raising them impossible. Clive Bundy and his former rancher neighbors would agree.

Posted by: Lizzy at April 25, 2014 09:44 AM (8zTpe)

288 >Is that due to all the people who restrict their "red meat" intake though? People seem to do more variety now. Chicken, steak, shrimp, fish, rabbit, bison, etc instead of steak, hamburger, hamburger, hamburger, steak ...

Posted by: bonhomme at April 25, 2014 01:41 PM (o4Xc4)<

A lot of the country has had 2 straight very dry summers. This reduces the number of head you can graze per acre. Also reduces the hay crop. Further, corn prices are very high. The natural response to this is for farmers to reduce their herds because they can't afford to feed them.

Posted by: Muad'dib at April 25, 2014 09:44 AM (sjdRT)

289 290 138? The only hot dogs I can get here on the coast that taste like an honest to God old-fashioned hot dog are Nathan's or Hebrew National. All the others have no flavor. Posted by: backhoe at April 25, 2014 01:43 PM (ULH4o) Bratwurst. It's the only way to go.

Posted by: grammie winger at April 25, 2014 09:44 AM (oMKp3)

290 I prefer my meatballs to be high in carbon. It's great to have the crunchy, graphitey flavor.

Posted by: Zombie John Gotti at April 25, 2014 09:44 AM (nj9sX)

291 *covers AtC with blankets and bubble wrap and sprays the surrounding air with can after can of extra strength Raid!* Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 25, 2014 01:43 PM (4df7R) SHE'S TRYING TO KILL THE EMPRESS!!!! I'll save you!!! *tackles MWR and takes her to the ground*

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2014 09:44 AM (da5Wo)

292 Posted by: willow at April 25, 2014 01:44 PM (nqBYe)

KEWL!!!!

New thread in 5...4...3....

Posted by: fixerupper at April 25, 2014 09:45 AM (nELVU)

293 >>Lizzie Warren's tribe switched from buffalo to oysters to reduce buffalo farts. Thought it was crab.

Posted by: Lizzy at April 25, 2014 09:45 AM (8zTpe)

294 292 i think many restrict their intake of meat of any kind because of cost, some of us don't get free food.
and the price of fruit? or and milk?
nevermind.

Posted by: willow at April 25, 2014 01:44 PM (nqBYe)

Exactly right. The price of groceries has gone through the roof. Those dickheads in DC who say there's no inflation can go horsefuck.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 09:45 AM (DrWcr)

295 This makes sense considering the eco-Nazis oppose humanity's very existence. I oppose the eco-nazis very existence. Can we play cowboys & eco-nazis yet?

Posted by: rickb223 at April 25, 2014 09:45 AM (UjHCx)

296 Yeah, per capita beef consumption has gone down. Also, each cattle (cow? steer? confused on singular term here) is bigger today than 50 years ago, so that makes up some of the difference. They aren't 2x as big though, so it's still less per capita total beef.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 25, 2014 09:45 AM (ZPrif)

297

ATC I am starting a mug shot database. Did the offending arachnid look like this?

http://tinyurl.com/kqn3hjm

Posted by: maddogg at April 25, 2014 09:45 AM (xWW96)

298 All of this is marketing product. You have an entire range of shit that is not viable (veggie meatballs, chicken meatballs, CFL light bulbs, solar panels, tankless water heaters, wind farm turbines, etc.) being made viable with a marketing slogan: It's Good for the Environment. It how they've made people buy more stuff, not less.

Posted by: Dang at April 25, 2014 09:45 AM (MNq6o)

299 even potatoes have gone up substantially which has become a standard of main diet at this point , as a filler .

Posted by: willow at April 25, 2014 09:45 AM (nqBYe)

300 Bratwurst. It's the only way to go. *** Beer brats

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 25, 2014 09:45 AM (DmNpO)

301 Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 25, 2014 01:43 PM

We have been kinda light on spider sightings lately, no? Except for the one that rappelled down in front of me yesterday when I was pouring coffee. Not before my coffee, bub...not. before. coffee.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 25, 2014 09:46 AM (knoK7)

302 *peers at BCochran*

Are you going to say, "Its good to be the king!" next?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 25, 2014 09:46 AM (L8umz)

303 Bratwurst. It's the only way to go.

Posted by: grammie winger at April 25, 2014 01:44 PM (oMKp3)

I love brats, but they give me wicked indigestion.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 09:46 AM (DrWcr)

304 Those dickheads in DC who say there's no inflation can go horsefuck. Hey! What'd I do to you?

Posted by: Mr. Ed. at April 25, 2014 09:46 AM (PYAXX)

305 Posted by: bonhomme at April 25, 2014 01:41 PM (o4Xc4) Out here in Cali? its the drought... Feed prices are through the roof, because the same stuff we used to feed cows (corn stalks) are now used for Ethanol... I personally know Ranchers who would love to expand their Herds... but can't due to lack of water and feed...

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 25, 2014 09:46 AM (84gbM)

306 Awwww! It's a Zonkey! http://t.co/LGNkwRhrVt

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 25, 2014 09:46 AM (DmNpO)

307 "Nathan's" Tried a Nathan's at JFK airport a few years ago. Bad day or something. It was one of the worst hotdogs I've ever had in my life.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at April 25, 2014 09:46 AM (gOoFi)

308 Fun facts about Sweden: In less than 20 years, native Swedes will be in the minority in Sweden and the country will be predominately muslim.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 25, 2014 09:47 AM (BZAd3)

309 DO YOU SEE THIS HORDE????? The Empress is sans undergarments.
Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2014 01:32 PM (da5Wo)

You know....the Ravage sat all night on Alert Five. They were a little pissed they didn't see any action.

Jus' sayin'

Posted by: Sean Bannion, Air Boss, HMS Alexian Fury, CVN-69 [/i][/b][/s][/u] at April 25, 2014 09:47 AM (6T8Ay)

310 Awwww! It's a Zonkey!

http://t.co/LGNkwRhrVt

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 25, 2014 01:46 PM (DmNpO)

For real?

It looks like it's wearing slutty pantyhose.

Posted by: EC at April 25, 2014 09:47 AM (GQ8sn)

311 I love brats, but they give me wicked indigestion. *** Me too. I make sure to have plenty of Rolaids on hand when I eat them.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 25, 2014 09:47 AM (DmNpO)

312 insomniac, i spent many of the last few years trying to feed 12 on 20 bucks a day. i love the new IMPROVED america. yeah.

Posted by: willow at April 25, 2014 09:47 AM (nqBYe)

313 In less than 20 years, native Swedes will be in the minority in Sweden and the country will be predominately muslim.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 25, 2014 01:47 PM (BZAd3)

That's a lot of rape.

Posted by: EC at April 25, 2014 09:47 AM (GQ8sn)

314 309 Bratwurst. It's the only way to go. Posted by: grammie winger at April 25, 2014 01:44 PM (oMKp3) I love brats, but they give me wicked indigestion. Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 01:46 PM (DrWcr) Simmer them in beer before you cook them. It'll cure that right up.

Posted by: grammie winger at April 25, 2014 09:47 AM (oMKp3)

315

Spoons can be used as mirrors....

*bends spoon just so...*

Do tell.

Posted by: Black Patent Leather Shoes at April 25, 2014 09:48 AM (JtwS4)

316 Just imagine you're Chris Evans in this gif and you'll feel better. http://bit.ly/QLXDQG Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 25, 2014 01:43 PM (4df7R) *clings to MWR* That does help, yes, yes, it does.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 25, 2014 09:48 AM (mf5HN)

317 314 Fun facts about Sweden:

In less than 20 years, native Swedes will be in the minority in Sweden and the country will be predominately muslim.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 25, 2014 01:47 PM (BZAd3)

And they will be the rape capital of the world.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 09:48 AM (DrWcr)

318 "In less than 20 years, native Swedes will be in the minority in Sweden and the country will be predominately muslim. Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 25, 2014 01:47 PM"

Ditto Minnesota, I'm thinking.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 25, 2014 09:48 AM (knoK7)

319 In a world of frozen, pre-made Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches, nothing surprises me. Seriously, what is the carbon footprint of an UnCrustable?

Posted by: garrett at April 25, 2014 09:48 AM (uLAEN)

320 and fk this administration and the hopes of resigning us to 3rd world status.

Posted by: willow at April 25, 2014 09:48 AM (nqBYe)

321 For real? It looks like it's wearing slutty pantyhose. *** Big LOL!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 25, 2014 09:48 AM (DmNpO)

322 I love brats, but they give me wicked indigestion. Does that mean you sometimes have flatulence? Bar your door. Tolerant, loving liberals will be after you next. They've outsourced their own flatulence to someone in Mumbai

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 25, 2014 09:48 AM (XyM/Y)

323 Dallas Corbin, "I am a low carbon meat popsicle"

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 25, 2014 09:48 AM (L8umz)

324 "The only hot dogs I can get here on the coast that taste like an honest to God old-fashioned hot dog are Nathan's or Hebrew National. All the others have no flavor." Posted by: backhoe at April 25, 2014 01:43 PM (ULH4o) Speaking of IKEA, I don't know if they do it at all their stores, but the one I go to has hot dogs for some ridiculously low price just past the cash registers. They must sell thousands every day.

Posted by: jwest at April 25, 2014 09:49 AM (u2a4R)

325 In less than 20 years, native Swedes will be in the minority in Sweden and the country will be predominately muslim.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb

Islamic prayer yodeling. *shudder*

Posted by: Dang at April 25, 2014 09:49 AM (MNq6o)

326 Feed prices are through the roof, because the same stuff we used to feed cows (corn stalks) are now used for Ethanol... Yeah. If I were trying to think of a plant that it would be *worse* for the economy to further incentivize its use, Corn would be my first choice. We use corn in human food, in animal food, in clothing, in utility items (rope, quite often), and the list continues- and then you're going to add another use to it? And *then* you're going to have the gall to be surprised when prices everywhere for just about everything go up?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 25, 2014 09:49 AM (PYAXX)

327 An idle question: How does a party run on a platform of social division and victimization, totalitarianism, inflation, destruction of the economy, end to medical care, enervating alliances and world chaos, and yet win? #WarOnWimmin beats all that? We live in interesting times.

Posted by: Hughe Knatchbull-Hugessen at April 25, 2014 09:49 AM (Px4PF)

328 Jan Rivers post up this should be good

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 25, 2014 09:49 AM (DmNpO)

329 SHE'S TRYING TO KILL THE EMPRESS!!!! I'll save you!!! *tackles MWR and takes her to the ground* Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2014 01:44 PM (da5Wo) Nobility. Everywhere.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 25, 2014 09:49 AM (mf5HN)

330 Oh.... and for the MEN out there... Red Meat is one precursor element needed for Testosterone... which is why you see very few Manly vegetarians.... But of course, the government KNOWS this... and you won't see Girly Boys standing up for Liberty for all...

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 25, 2014 09:49 AM (84gbM)

331 Yeah. If I were trying to think of a plant that it would be *worse* for the economy to further incentivize its use, Corn would be my first choice.

We use corn in human food, in animal food, in clothing, in utility items (rope, quite often), and the list continues- and then you're going to add another use to it? And *then* you're going to have the gall to be surprised when prices everywhere for just about everything go up?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 25, 2014 01:49 PM (PYAXX)

We call it maize.

Posted by: EC at April 25, 2014 09:49 AM (GQ8sn)

332 EC, you asked for a precis of r?K evolutionary adaptation in the last thread. I missed it because I was at lunch. From Amazon: "This book offers a scientific analysis of how our two main political ideologies evolved within our species. It explains how the competitive, aggressive, sexually selective and monogamous, two-parenting psychology underlying conservatism is a perfect reproductive strategy for use in a K-selected environment of limited resources, while a more competition-averse, pacifistic, sexually promiscuous, single parenting strategy is ideally adaptive to an r-selective environment of free resource availability. It explains how these two psychologies arose through evolution, how they convey advantage in their respective environments, and how they arise today in response to a society's level of resource availability. It even shows how the emergence of one psychology or the other, in response to changes in resource availability, has altered history. " Basically, animal populations have 2 main environments: resource rich and resource poor, think rabbits in a summer field vs wolves on an arctic tundra. Each environment favors a different survival strategy for the species. Resource rich (r) populations have lots of offspring with little involvement in their rearing, IOW they go for quantity as a species survival mechanism. Low resource (K) populations a smaller number of highly skilled offspring, they are betting the species on quality of offspring. There's more to it than that, but the author makes a pretty convincing case that human political ideologies follow the same r/K dichotomy. He or she makes a very convincing case. The depressing part comes when you realize that successful K type civilizations produce so much success and so many resources that their population begins to pursue r type strategies over time. That's how "Don't Tread On Me" begat the FSA. Fascinating book. The Evolutionary Psychology Behind Politics: How Conservatism and Liberalism Evolved Within Humans by Anonymous Conservative

Posted by: Weirddave at April 25, 2014 09:49 AM (N/cFh)

333 JOAN Rivers

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 25, 2014 09:49 AM (DmNpO)

334 I don't think the new menu will be very popular. Good kÃ¶ttbullar need beef and pork and there's no way out of it.

Posted by: SarahW at April 25, 2014 09:50 AM (Lbv/k)

335 Awwww! It's a Zonkey! http://t.co/LGNkwRhrVt Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 25, 2014 01:46 PM (DmNpO) I wonder if I can make low-carbon Swedish meatballs out of that. *consults "To Serve Zonkeys"*

Posted by: naturalfake at April 25, 2014 09:50 AM (0cMkb)

336 Make the meatballs out of silicon and they can be recycled.

Posted by: whoever at April 25, 2014 09:50 AM (pjMym)

337 wait what? why is BCochran having to tackle MWR? hair standing up on neck. a warning.

Posted by: willow at April 25, 2014 09:50 AM (nqBYe)

338 *tackles MWR and takes her to the ground*

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2014 01:44 PM (da5Wo)

*eyebrow raise* You can get off of me now.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 25, 2014 09:51 AM (4df7R)

339 And they will be the rape capital of the world. Posted by: Insomniac at April 25, 2014 01:48 PM (DrWcr) Like the line from Braveheart: If we can't wipe them out, we'll breed them out.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 25, 2014 09:51 AM (BZAd3)

340 319 Posted by: EC at April 25, 2014 01:47 PM (GQ8sn)

and a hell of a Merc opportunity....

Posted by: sven10077 at April 25, 2014 09:51 AM (TE35l)

341 Cliven Bundy: I'm Standing Up to Bad and Unjust Laws, Just Like Rosa Parks Yeah, that's gonna cool that shit waaaaaay down.

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 25, 2014 09:51 AM (XUKZU)

342 Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 25, 2014 01:49 PM (PYAXX) We call it maize. Posted by: EC at April 25, 2014 01:49 PM (GQ8sn) Personally? Turning Food into Fuel, when other Fuel sources are easily available??? I put that in the Evil category.

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 25, 2014 09:51 AM (84gbM)

343 mwr, did he try to cop a feel?

Posted by: willow at April 25, 2014 09:51 AM (nqBYe)

344 You know, America used to be the tallest nation in the world. Emphasis on used to be.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 25, 2014 09:52 AM (ZPrif)

345 EC, you asked for a precis of r?K evolutionary adaptation in the last thread. I missed it because I was at lunch. From Amazon:

Thanks weirddave! You rock.

Posted by: EC at April 25, 2014 09:52 AM (GQ8sn)

346 Islamic prayer yodeling. *shudder* Posted by: Dang at April 25, 2014 01:49 PM (MNq6o) Arabic with a Swedish accent... arrrgh.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 25, 2014 09:52 AM (BZAd3)

347 Just a generation ago the avg American man was literally bigger and stronger than the avg male from any other country on the planet.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 25, 2014 09:53 AM (ZPrif)

348 Seriously, what is the carbon footprint of an UnCrustable? Bigger than you might think. Wheat field farming for bread. Berry field farming for jelly. Sugar field farming for jelly. Peanut field farming for peanut butter. Plastics manufacture for packaging. Ink... Cardboard... Marketing... Transport... etc.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/s][/i][/b][/s] at April 25, 2014 09:53 AM (o4Xc4)

349 286 265 (says the guy who dated a Vegetarian for a year more than a decade ago...).Posted by: Romeo13 at April 25, 2014 01:29 PM (84gbM)

So no BJs for that year i'm guessing.

Posted by: Sexist Pig at April 25, 2014 01:39 PM (znT2j)

Actually? Just the opposite... why in the hell do you think I dated her for a year....

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 25, 2014 01:43 PM (84gbM)

Ah vegatarian not vegan then. Always get them confused. :-)

Posted by: Sexist Pig at April 25, 2014 09:53 AM (znT2j)

350 Pssst: Who's gonna tell Michelle Obama that she needs to stop eating Waygu beef for the good of the environment?

Posted by: Lizzy at April 25, 2014 09:53 AM (8zTpe)

351 ok can i say i don't really appreciate yodeling in prayer or otherwise. Is that a dirty scandi thing? looks at grammie winger, (i don't blame you)

Posted by: willow at April 25, 2014 09:54 AM (nqBYe)

352
Wait.... chicken is not meat?

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at April 25, 2014 09:54 AM (hJauc)

353 I would suggest we mount a mission to rescue all the hot babes from Sweden prior to the moose-dicks taking over, but we already have our quote of FUCKING IDIOTS.

Posted by: maddogg at April 25, 2014 09:54 AM (xWW96)

354 And soft drinks.

Posted by: mrp at April 25, 2014 09:54 AM (JBggj)

355 Cliven Bundy: I'm Standing Up to Bad and Unjust Laws, Just Like Rosa Parks Yeah, that's gonna cool that shit waaaaaay down.
Posted by: WalrusRex at April 25, 2014 01:51 PM (XUKZU)

OK, at this point I think we have firmly established that this guy is drooling idiot.

No wait, we didn't do that he did that.

I eagerly await his forthcoming manifesto regarding his thoughts on "spics" and other undesirables.

Posted by: Sean Bannion, Air Boss, HMS Alexian Fury, CVN-69 [/i][/b][/s][/u] at April 25, 2014 09:55 AM (JpC1K)

356 i always wonder about muslims leaving the mid east because of the craziness and lack of opportunity and freedom. than extremism moves to their new location .

Posted by: willow at April 25, 2014 09:56 AM (nqBYe)

357 *eyebrow raise* You can get off of me now.
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 25, 2014 01:51 PM (4df7R)

He was just admiring your...."plushiness"

Posted by: Sean Bannion, Air Boss, HMS Alexian Fury, CVN-69 [/i][/b][/s][/u] at April 25, 2014 09:56 AM (JpC1K)

358 You know, America used to be the tallest nation in the world. Emphasis on used to be. Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 25, 2014 01:52 PM (ZPrif) *scuffs toe* Sorry about dragging the mean down like that.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 25, 2014 09:57 AM (mf5HN)

359 Ending ethanol subsidies for fuel and the elimination of sugar tariffs would be good things for the US economy.

Posted by: mrp at April 25, 2014 09:57 AM (JBggj)

360 *scuffs toe* Sorry about dragging the mean down like that.
Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 25, 2014 01:57 PM (mf5HN)

It's OK, AtC.

We appreciate "spinners"

Posted by: Sean Bannion [/i][/b][/s][/u] at April 25, 2014 09:58 AM (JpC1K)

361 kbdabear if you take requests, I liked your recycling girl from the other day.

Posted by: Schwalbe: The Me-262© at April 25, 2014 09:58 AM (9Bdcz)

362 alex, but, as they say the BOOM can come in small packages

Posted by: willow at April 25, 2014 09:58 AM (nqBYe)

363
*clings to MWR*

That does help, yes, yes, it does.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 25, 2014 01:48 PM (mf5HN)/i]

http://bit.ly/1lO2RtF

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 25, 2014 09:59 AM (4df7R)

364
I find it funny that they still offer the high carbon good tasting meatball.

I guess the warmists feel like previously warmists had no choice but to eat cow.

They seem not to realize that they still will sell the same amount of cow but are just increasing sales with a different product.

Oh well, no one said enviros were smart.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at April 25, 2014 09:59 AM (hJauc)

365 mwr, did he try to cop a feel?

Posted by: willow at April 25, 2014 01:51 PM (nqBYe)

The operative word there being "try."

Which is worse: to try to cop a feel, or to try to feel a cop?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 25, 2014 10:00 AM (4df7R)

366 alex, but, as they say the BOOM can come in small packages Posted by: willow at April 25, 2014 01:58 PM (nqBYe) Exactly, willow. Bannion, for to be fetching willow whatever she desires.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 25, 2014 10:00 AM (mf5HN)

367 new post with meat

Posted by: willow at April 25, 2014 10:00 AM (nqBYe)

368 MWR, i like men in uniform, so i'm now stumped

Posted by: willow at April 25, 2014 10:01 AM (nqBYe)

369 Bannion, for to be fetching willow whatever she desires.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 25, 2014 02:00 PM (mf5HN)

Posted by: willow at April 25, 2014 02:00 PM (nqBYe)
375 MWR, i like men in uniform, so i'm now stumped

Posted by: willow at April 25, 2014 02:01 PM (nqBYe)

::: puts on Mess Dress uniform :::

::: pours Pinot Grigio :::

Posted by: Sean Bannion [/i][/b][/s][/u] at April 25, 2014 10:03 AM (JpC1K)

370 No mention of IKEA reducing the chemical shi& they use to glue their wood flake furniture together.

Posted by: Buffalobob at April 25, 2014 10:05 AM (AH486)

371 This makes sense considering the eco-Nazis oppose humanity's very existence.

Not humanity. YOUR type of humanity.

They can't compete with you, head on. So they will make us compete with each other, while using graft and corruption to stay afloat. As the competition for scarce resources intensifies, those who cannot use graft and corruption will die off as they compete with each other. That leaves more resources for the corrupt.

The goal isn't to kill humanity. It's to kill you and take your shit, because you are a threat to them.

Hell hath no fury like a leftist exposed as a parasite. Or, maybe that's exactly the fury that Hell hath.

Posted by: grognard at April 25, 2014 10:08 AM (/29Nl)

372 Disposable Crap King Changes meatball recipe Buys an indulgence

Posted by: haiku guy at April 25, 2014 10:09 AM (Ek7pL)

373

"Environmentalists hailed the move away from meat: "This is one of the first times a major retailer has introduced a meatless menu item explicitly to combat climate change," said the Center for Biological Diversity."

Yeah, let's hail that move because no carbon is ever emitted in planting and growing vegetables, picking them, or bringing them to the market fresh, or . . . yawn.

Greenies are twits

Posted by: MWTexas at April 25, 2014 10:34 AM (N05oL)

374 Center for Biological Diversity...they are behind a lot of the hysteria about animals. They want to get rid of rat poison and blame all manner of animals problems, like the mange on the Griffith Park puma, on its dissemination up the food chain. (See Rachel Carson.)

They've taken over as Alarmists in Chief from the food hysterics organization--can't remember their name.

Posted by: PJ at April 25, 2014 10:53 AM (ZWaLo)

375 IKEA Developing a 'Lower-Carbon' Swedish Meatball Al they have to do is make it a smaller one...

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at April 25, 2014 12:15 PM (jOKH1)

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