January 21, 2014

NFL Commissioner: Maybe We'll Get Rid of Extra Points After Touchdowns
— Ace

He's proposing making a touchdown worth 7 points, period, automatically, but you have the option to gamble that extra point on a conversion. If you make the conversion, you gain a point (up to and if you fail, you lose the point (down to 6). As it is now.

I wouldn't do this.

The problem with extra points is not the play itself. The play takes five seconds. Even if there's no dramatic interest in the play, who cares? It takes all of five seconds.

The problem with extra points is TV timeouts for commercials.

Early in NFL games, after a touchdown is scored, broadcasters often cut to a commercial, then come back from break for a five second extra point try, then kickoff (which takes another ten seconds or so, and often results in no runback). Then they take another break.

This can mean that after a touchdown, four or five minutes go by before you see anything like an offensive play. You'll see two and a half minutes of commercials, then a nearly-automatic extra point, then a kickoff which usually goes out of the endzone or is downed with no runback, then two and a half minutes of commercials, and then, finally, football again.

The problem isn't the extra point itself, which should be preserved just out of tradition. The problem is the grueling number of minutes which pass between a touchdown and the next offensive series. Eliminating the five-second play of the extra point does nothing about that (except save five seconds).

If the NFL wants to address this problem, they should make sure their future contracts with broadcasters specify the following:

No television timeout can be taken between the touchdown and point after attempt. (If a team calls a time out to strategize for the conversion, they may extend that into a TV timeout.)

Only two minutes of commercials are permitted after a touchdown and point after; after this, a kickoff occurs, and only one minute of TV timeout is permitted between the spotting of the ball and the next snap.

That's actually more like broadcasters handle commercials at the end of the game. They really pack commercials into the front half of the game; they're a bit less greedy in the second half.

This problem can be fixed by the NFL being slightly less greedy and thereby imposing rules on broadcasters to be slightly less greedy too.

Ummm... Open Thread? Hedley Lamar says this entire post is based on an incorrect premise:

Do they seriously cut away to commercials between touchdown and PAT in NFL games? I don't think I've ever seen that in college unless someone calls a timeout.

Normally if anything, it's Touchdown, PAT, (commercial), kickoff (commercial).

Hmmm... Now that he says that... He may be right.

Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand has a better suggestion:

Just move the ball to the one yard line, that would make the two point conversion more tempting. I think there were only five extra point misses this year.

Wow, that's true. Moving a kick from the 2 to the 1 does nothing at all, but moving an attempt for a conversion from the 2 to the 1 does make it much easier. You can always just do the jump-over-and-poke-it-over-the-line thing. And the fact that you can do that so easily means that teams have to defend against that primarily, which then opens up some passing opportunities too.

A lot of people suggest moving the kick back to the 20 or 25 or 30 or whatever to make an extra point more like a not-so-gimme field goal attempt.

Here's the problem with that: It eliminates the possibility of the surprise two point conversion attempt. Yes I know, rarely is a two point conversion a surprise. Usually it's clear when a team is going to attempt it.

Still, on rare occasions, a team will fake an extra point and go for the two points.

Moving the ball back to the 25 virtually eliminates all two-point conversions unless the team can announce, beforehand, it's going for the 2 point play, in which case the ball is placed at the 2 yard line. Which is fine... except in that case there's no such thing as the surprise/fake extra point play. The play is announced to the refs before.

But I do like this "move it to the one" idea.

With one caveat: I think the "Poke the ball briefly over the plane of the endzone" is sort of a cheatey exploitation of the rules, and causes a lot of fan disquiet, because it's usually a judgement call and whether or not points were actually scored (whatever the refs may say) remains in question.

I don't think the NFL should create more opportunities for such ambiguity and argument over whether someone scored or not.

Frankly, I hate the whole "break the plane" of the endzone rule. It doesn't feel like a real score to me, and always ends up with a ref review (which is itself often inconclusive).

The rule should really be that you literally touch the ball down on the field of the endzone, or else you establish the ball is in the enzone by having the ball carrier establish his presence in the endzone (one foot for runs, two feet for passes).

Posted by: Ace at 08:46 AM | Comments (493)
Post contains 907 words, total size 5 kb.

1 Oneth?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b] at January 21, 2014 08:47 AM (0HooB)

2 Actually I kind of liked Bellicek's solution--make they guy who scored kick it. Could be a lot of fun.

Posted by: Caliban at January 21, 2014 08:48 AM (DrC22)

3 Do they seriously cut away to commercials between touchdown and PAT in NFL games? I don't think I've ever seen that in college unless someone calls a timeout.

Normally if anything, it's Touchdown, PAT, (commercial), kickoff (commercial).

Posted by: Hedley Lamar at January 21, 2014 08:49 AM (SPaCH)

4 Goodell must be a Democrat since he is proposing an unwanted solution in search of a problem.

Posted by: BSKB at January 21, 2014 08:49 AM (4KWOY)

5 Fixed by the NFL, thats rich.

Posted by: nip at January 21, 2014 08:49 AM (jI23+)

6 Remember when the clock used to stop anytime someone went out of bounds? Good times, good times.

Posted by: Andy at January 21, 2014 08:49 AM (YOv7L)

7 Pink flags anyone?

Posted by: nip at January 21, 2014 08:50 AM (jI23+)

8 This problem can be fixed by the NFL being slightly less greedy and thereby imposing rules on broadcasters to be slightly less greedy too. So you're saying it won't happen then?

Posted by: AmishDude at January 21, 2014 08:50 AM (T0NGe)

9 I'd be willing to live with with all the the regularly scheduled commercial breaks if they also didn't take a 5 minute break every time someone is injured (which seemed to be every other play during the Seattle/San Fran game). I've taken to DVRing every game to skip the commercials and all the shuffling around on field.

Posted by: Xander Crews at January 21, 2014 08:50 AM (TgSZY)

10 pretty soon it's just gonna be a glorified game of flag football.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 21, 2014 08:51 AM (t3UFN)

11 Stop fucking with the game

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 21, 2014 08:51 AM (t3UFN)

12 Interrupt or reduce precious commercial time? That ain't ever gonna happen.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b] at January 21, 2014 08:51 AM (0HooB)

13 Just move the ball to the one yard line, that would make the two point conversion more tempting. I think there were only five extra point misses this year.

Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at January 21, 2014 08:51 AM (WdbF7)

14 are they trying to destroy the game?

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl 37 days until spring training at January 21, 2014 08:51 AM (u8GsB)

15 Can we haz cheerledrz?

Posted by: Cicero Kaboom! Kid at January 21, 2014 08:51 AM (tcK++)

16 OT but has anyone noticed all the Hillary for Prez ads on the site lately?  Ugh.

Posted by: Insomniac at January 21, 2014 08:51 AM (DrWcr)

17 Relocate the extra point try back to the 20 yard line.
Keep the 2 point option as-is.

Posted by: jwb7605 [/i][/u][/s][/b] at January 21, 2014 08:52 AM (3Tv+N)

18
...but at what cost?

Posted by: soothsayer at January 21, 2014 08:52 AM (gYIst)

19 This problem can be fixed by the NFL being slightly less greedy I think we've identified the Area of Concern. You know what else the NFL can do? Stop it with the pink shit. Yes, I remain pissed off. *bounds off to read newest NFL QBs on FB for the umpteenth time*

Posted by: alexthechick - Skittle fueled Godzillette at January 21, 2014 08:52 AM (VtjlW)

20 Keep the PAT, but move it back to make it a 40 or 45 yard attempt (so that the odds of making it drop), and make the play LIVE (clock ticking, and if the ball is blocked or falls short of the end zone the defending team has a chance to run it back for a TD.

Posted by: Trubador at January 21, 2014 08:53 AM (MlrAE)

21 Keep the PAT, but move it back to make it a 40 or 45 yard attempt (so that the odds of making it drop), and make the play LIVE (clock ticking, and if the ball is blocked or falls short of the end zone the defending team has a chance to run it back for a TD.

Plus, lions.  Lots of lions.

Posted by: pep at January 21, 2014 08:53 AM (6TB1Z)

22 Make them kick it from 2 yards behind the Center. 

Backing up all that way is just boring.  Make the kicker worry about kicking the ball right up the Center's ass.

Posted by: Phinn at January 21, 2014 08:54 AM (KOGmz)

23 Whatever.

Cut out the fucking half-time shows and get on with the game.


Posted by: EC at January 21, 2014 08:54 AM (GQ8sn)

24 Next, will remove those dangerous scissors from the classic rock paper scissors game

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 21, 2014 08:54 AM (Ntvir)

25 Make the kicker worry about kicking the ball right up the Center's ass.

**Insert inevitable Barney Frank joke here. **

Posted by: pep at January 21, 2014 08:55 AM (6TB1Z)

26 Kind of a 'Top 1% of The First World Problem', isn't it?

Posted by: --- at January 21, 2014 08:55 AM (MMC8r)

27 He should just go whole hog and turn the NFL into a soccer league and then maybe they can get into the European market they seem to think will reward them with all the money they want. It won't, but the failure of the World League isn't going to stop the NFL anymore than the continual failure of teams in LA has stopped the NFL from being certain the _next time _will_ work._

Posted by: Bete resigned to just watching the world burn at January 21, 2014 08:55 AM (Lqb+9)

28 11 Stop fucking with the game Pretty sure that means "next thread".

Posted by: akula51[/b][/i][/s] at January 21, 2014 08:55 AM (6bMel)

29 Plus, lions. Lots of lions.

Posted by: pep at January 21, 2014 12:53 PM (6TB1Z)

 

Throw in exploding footballs, and now you've got entertainment!

Posted by: Insomniac at January 21, 2014 08:55 AM (DrWcr)

30 Make a cheerleader knock it through the uprights with her elbow

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 21, 2014 08:55 AM (Ntvir)

31 Watch hockey instead, 6 & 14 minutes timeouts with only 1 timeout by period.

Posted by: MikeH at January 21, 2014 08:55 AM (136wp)

32 Moar Cheerleaderz!

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b] at January 21, 2014 08:55 AM (0HooB)

33 20 Keep the PAT, but move it back to make it a 40 or 45 yard attempt (so that the odds of making it drop), and make the play LIVE (clock ticking, and if the ball is blocked or falls short of the end zone the defending team has a chance to run it back for a TD.

Posted by: Trubador at January 21, 2014 12:53 PM (MlrAE)


Took the words out of my mouth. It could be like the end of that college game recently that was really exciting but whose participants slip my mind because I'm getting old.

Posted by: joncelli at January 21, 2014 08:56 AM (RD7QR)

34 The problem is the grueling number of minutes which pass between a touchdown and the next offensive series.

Not all of us can recycle our beer by pissing in the empty bottle.

Posted by: HR at January 21, 2014 08:56 AM (ZKzrr)

35 Minefield from the end zone to the ten yard line.

Posted by: --- at January 21, 2014 08:56 AM (MMC8r)

36 Every bluefin tuna tested in the waters off California has shown to be
contaminated with radiation that originated in Fukushima. Every single
one.


Are they giant?


Posted by: EC at January 21, 2014 08:56 AM (GQ8sn)

37 Extra points have become so automatic as to diminish their worth. Even field goals less than 40 yards are becoming an almost automatic score. If you want to make the game more exciting shrink the size of the goal posts so as to make it tougher to score a "chip shot" field goal and make the extra point be tried immediately after the score. Easy peasy.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 21, 2014 08:56 AM (g1DWB)

38 Really? You are going to run with the Progressive straw man about greedy corporate interests? When I see this kind of stuff from conservatives, it makes me realize how much of the culture that progressives have won.

Posted by: Name at January 21, 2014 08:56 AM (kdYPC)

39 The game will still be boring.

Posted by: garrett at January 21, 2014 08:57 AM (Nk+la)

40 Every bluefin tuna tested in the waters off California has shown to be

contaminated with radiation that originated in Fukushima. Every single

one.


Are they giant?


Posted by: EC at January 21, 2014 12:56 PM (GQ8sn)

 

Are they ill-tempered?

Posted by: Dr. Evil at January 21, 2014 08:57 AM (DrWcr)

41 I've never understood football. My idea of a conversion involves changing religions.

Is that what they do?

Posted by: Kensington at January 21, 2014 08:57 AM (Z7toi)

42 How about getting rid of the fair catch rule on punts? Make it mandatory to return all in-bounds punts, missed field goal attempts and kickoffs like they do in Canada.Now you get some more action...

Posted by: Slim at January 21, 2014 08:58 AM (6909P)

43 Not all of us can recycle our beer by pissing in the empty bottle. Posted by: HR at January 21, 2014 12:56 PM (ZKzrr) SaniFem Freshette Urine Director http://goo.gl/wr6E6E

Posted by: MikeH at January 21, 2014 08:58 AM (136wp)

44 Every bluefin tuna tested in the waters off California has shown to be contaminated with radiation that originated in Fukushima. Every single one. The good ones come from the Atlantic.

Posted by: garrett at January 21, 2014 08:58 AM (Nk+la)

45 Move it indoors, on a circular track, on rollerskates.

Posted by: --- at January 21, 2014 08:59 AM (MMC8r)

46 are they trying to destroy the game?

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl 37 days until spring training at January 21, 2014 12:51 PM (u8GsB)



The game has pretty much run on autopilot ever since Rozelle died.  Goodell is as dumb as a plank and they still make money.

Posted by: Captain Hate at January 21, 2014 08:59 AM (qr6PR)

47 I don't really care so long as we get rid of offensive names like redskins, Cowboy, Oilers, Browns etc. and impose friendly names like Community Organizers, Environmental Attorneys, Diversities, and Equal Incomes.

Posted by: WalrusRex at January 21, 2014 08:59 AM (XUKZU)

48 If you want to make the game more exciting shrink the size of the goal posts so as to make it tougher to score a "chip shot" field goal and make the extra point be tried immediately after the score. Do like college & kick from the hash. Or make them do a drop kick or punt thru the uprights.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 21, 2014 08:59 AM (CRyse)

49 >>>Every bluefin tuna tested in the waters off California has shown to be contaminated with radiation that originated in Fukushima What about lasers? Do they have lasers?

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 21, 2014 08:59 AM (Ntvir)

50 As I said early this morning, no dog in that hunt.  They can do what they want.

Posted by: Vic[/i] at January 21, 2014 08:59 AM (T2V/1)

51 yeah, but Ace, you said you don't watch football?

Posted by: grandmalcaesar at January 21, 2014 08:59 AM (yrohn)

52 >>The good ones come from the Atlantic. Indeed. And the best ones are the ones I catch.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 21, 2014 08:59 AM (g1DWB)

53 This problem can be fixed by the NFL being slightly less greedy and thereby imposing rules on broadcasters to be slightly less greedy too.
===

Now, what would be cool is if the officials pull a fan out of the stands, put cleats on his feet and hands him the ball on the 20-yard line.  If he puts  the ball in the end zone, the team is awarded the extra point, the fan gets $10,000 cash money and a new car.  If he doesn't make it, the NFL covers the hospital expenses.

Posted by: mrp at January 21, 2014 08:59 AM (JBggj)

54 The third eye on the tunas didn't give it away?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b] at January 21, 2014 09:00 AM (0HooB)

55 Maybe will just start watching only Hockey since you are turning your sport into a farce.

Posted by: Michael J. Bilek at January 21, 2014 09:00 AM (g9l02)

56 Dead on, Ace. Too bad it'll never happen because, y'know, greedy. And progressively wussified. And they'll never go for the land mines in the red zone idea either, but I still dream.

Posted by: Brother Cavil wants out at January 21, 2014 09:00 AM (naUcP)

57 You know, I think they need to start hyping the SuperBowl. It seems like it comes around every year with barely a mention.

Posted by: --- at January 21, 2014 09:00 AM (MMC8r)

58 Maybe will just start watching only Hockey since you are turning your sport into a farce. You may be onto something there...

Posted by: Brother Cavil wants out at January 21, 2014 09:00 AM (naUcP)

59 "You know what else the NFL can do? Stop it with the pink shit. Yes, I remain pissed off.
Posted by: alexthechick - Skittle fueled Godzillette at January 21, 2014 12:52 PM"

^^^^^ This!  For the love of all that is holy, this!

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 21, 2014 09:00 AM (O7VUB)

60 Every bluefin tuna tested in the waters off California has shown to be
contaminated with radiation that originated in Fukushima. Every single
one.

Posted by: habanero at January 21, 2014 12:56 PM (qQk+U)


-----


At what level????


Guess what..... we had snow in Missouri that was TWICE the normal level!!!


TWICE THE NORMAL LEVEL!!!!!!!


Which means..... it went from barely measurable to still barely measurable.


The fricken marble in my fireplace mantle gives off more radiation.

Posted by: fixerupper at January 21, 2014 09:00 AM (nELVU)

61 You know what else the NFL can do? Stop it with the pink shit. Yes, I remain pissed off. Me too. Look, women live longer than men. NFL players have a particularly short life expectancy.

Posted by: AmishDude at January 21, 2014 09:00 AM (T0NGe)

62 >>>No television timeout can be taken between the touchdown and point after attempt.

Given that this is the time done to review *every* scoring play, it might not be a good idea to dump that one. Dump the one that follows the extra point.

>>>The problem isn't the extra point itself, which should be preserved just out of tradition.

Oh absolutely. This is "Football" and does require the superficial resemblance to the older parent sports, and kicking the ball through the goal is an essential link to American Football's past and relationship with all forms of football around the world.

If they wanted to make the extra point interesting they could do it like Rugby were wherever the try (touchdown) is scored, ball comes straight back from there for the conversion. If you score on the sidelines you have a wicked kick to make (In Rugby its 5 and 2) 

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Laughing Maniacally While Throwing Matches. at January 21, 2014 09:01 AM (0q2P7)

63 40 Every bluefin tuna tested in the waters off California has shown to be contaminated with radiation that originated in Fukushima. Every single one.Are they giant? Posted by: EC at January 21, 2014 12:56 PM (GQ8sn) Are they ill-tempered? Posted by: Dr. Evil at January 21, 2014 12:57 PM (DrWcr) Absolutely.

Posted by: Number Two at January 21, 2014 09:01 AM (136wp)

64 #NoFunLeague

Posted by: Brother Cavil wants out at January 21, 2014 09:01 AM (naUcP)

65 49 >>>Every bluefin tuna tested in the waters off California has shown to be contaminated with radiation that originated in Fukushima Did they test Sandra Fluke?

Posted by: Cicero Kaboom! Kid at January 21, 2014 09:01 AM (tcK++)

66 The third eye on the tunas didn't give it away?

I'm pretty sure they've always been equipped with those.

Posted by: pep at January 21, 2014 09:01 AM (6TB1Z)

67

They're talking about this AND getting rid of kickoffs?

I smell a European plot to take the "foot" out of "football" so they can have it all back in their thin, girl-throwing arms.

Posted by: letitbeme at January 21, 2014 09:01 AM (4uDUj)

68 Are they giant? Posted by: EC at January 21, 2014 12:56 PM (GQ8sn) I think the more important question is how many tentacles do they have. In news that is completely unrelated to anything but the noise I made when I saw this, yeah: http://bit.ly/1juMhdb

Posted by: alexthechick - Skittle fueled Godzillette at January 21, 2014 09:02 AM (VtjlW)

69 You know what else the NFL can do? Stop it with the pink shit. Yes, I remain pissed off. THIS.

Posted by: Brother Cavil wants out at January 21, 2014 09:02 AM (naUcP)

70 #IWantTheBlaze is the #1 trend on Twitter. Good tactic. Hope it works for them. My cable company forces me to pay for Al-Jazeera, but won't give me the option of paying for The Blaze. I can't opt-out of Al-Jazeera. Can't opt-in to The Blaze.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at January 21, 2014 09:02 AM (ZPrif)

71
My vote is its a stupid idea.  But have the NFL be able to return blocked XP's for TOUCHDOWNS instead of 2 points.  Just like FGs.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 21, 2014 09:02 AM (n0DEs)

72 stop with the pink shit? tell that to all the sports leagues...including high schools.....gah....it's stupid

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl 37 days until spring training at January 21, 2014 09:02 AM (u8GsB)

73 Yep super tired of all the stupid pink shit.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at January 21, 2014 09:02 AM (ZPrif)

74 Why don't you just tell me the score you'd like the game to be!

Posted by: Cosmo Kramer - NFL Phone at January 21, 2014 09:03 AM (x1L8S)

75 I don't really care so long as we get rid of offensive names like redskins, Cowboy, Oilers, Browns etc. and impose friendly names like Community Organizers, Environmental Attorneys, Diversities, and Equal Incomes. Denver Drama Queens, Frisco Flamers, .....

Posted by: rickb223 at January 21, 2014 09:03 AM (CRyse)

76 I'm a Niner fan, and usually only watch their games, so I DVR that game, then begin watching it about 90 minutes after the kickoff, skipping commercials, halftime and a lot of the lost time between plays.

If it time it right, as I did with the playoff games at Carolina and Green Bay, I reach "real time" late in the fourth quarter. IIRC, I watched the Carolina game in about one hour and twenty minutes, with the last five minutes (on the clock) in real time.

This last Sunday, I started watching earlier, and "caught up" in the middle of the third quarter. All of the commercials and TV time outs made me miserable.

Posted by: Reno_Dave at January 21, 2014 09:03 AM (bsDPd)

77 Indeed. And the best ones are the ones I catch. Don't tease me, Bro.

Posted by: garrett at January 21, 2014 09:03 AM (Nk+la)

78 Early in NFL games, after a touchdown is scored, broadcasters often cut to a commercial, then come back from break for a five second extra point try, then kickoff (which takes another ten seconds or so, and often results in no runback). Then they take another break.
======
Not always.

I'm old enough to remember that sometimes they'd stay with the game, other times they'd cut away.

You can blame ABC/ESPN for the commercial break after every single kick or punt.

When they paid that huge sum of money for the games several years back, they had to squeeze more commercials in to pay for it.

You saw a lot less commercials before they got into the market.
And every one else has been forced to follow suit.

Posted by: RoyalOil at January 21, 2014 09:04 AM (VjL9S)

79 also making every TD worth an automatic 7 will have a big impact on football pools. Did they think about that? It would have a big impact wouldn't it?

Posted by: grandmalcaesar at January 21, 2014 09:04 AM (yrohn)

80 Know what's worse - NBA, cannot watch a game, they stop at the end so often, I switch channls

Posted by: MikeH at January 21, 2014 09:04 AM (136wp)

81 I agree the extra point today is  basically  useless  except as tradition.  Its automatic.    I really would like to see  them push it back to the 30 or 35 to make it interesting and  force more of a decision to go for 2 or 1.  

Posted by: polynikes at January 21, 2014 09:04 AM (m2CN7)

82 It is surprising to me just how bloody many commercials they cram into a football game these days. And often it is the same stupid commercial over and over again which has the opposite effect of what advertisers intended, I begin to loathe the product not want to buy it.

Posted by: Paranoidgirlinseattle at January 21, 2014 09:04 AM (RZ8pf)

83 stop with the pink shit? tell that to all the sports leagues...including high schools.....gah....it's stupid

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl 37 days until spring training at January 21, 2014 01:02 PM (u8GsB)

Yeah and ambulances and firetrucks should be red, not pink.  OMG, pink dump trucks and garbage trucks, please, I will cut a bitch.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, think mink. at January 21, 2014 09:04 AM (kXoT0)

84 No kickoffs. Fire the ball out of a cannon. Each team gets an ordinance squad, and defensive bunkers.

Posted by: --- at January 21, 2014 09:04 AM (MMC8r)

85 If they want to make the extra point (and for that matter, field goal attempts) more interesting and less "automatic," they should require that said attempts be accomplished via the old "drop kick."

http://youtu.be/2S_7TT2a1H4

Posted by: Country Singer at January 21, 2014 09:04 AM (L8r/r)

86 Since there is only about 11 minutes of actual team on the field playing in a 3 hour game, SPEEDING THE FUCK UP...

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at January 21, 2014 09:05 AM (vHRtU)

87 We should get back to the real meaning of pigskin.  Keep the PAT kick, but make them use a  live piglet.  

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at January 21, 2014 09:05 AM (lHb9q)

88

"Do they seriously cut away to commercials between touchdown and PAT in NFL games?"

No.

Posted by: Oscar Meyer at January 21, 2014 09:05 AM (m0HUW)

89 NFL Network is shopping around their Thursday night games. Clever tactic. They put games on Thursday on the NFL Network to force people to sign up and cable cos. to put it on the sports tier. Mission accomplished. So now they want to sell those games to FoxSports or NBCSports or ESPN. Clever tactic.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at January 21, 2014 09:06 AM (ZPrif)

90 In news that is completely unrelated to anything but the noise I made when I saw this, yeah:

http://bit.ly/1juMhdb

Posted by: alexthechick - Skittle fueled Godzillette at January 21, 2014 01:02 PM (VtjlW)



Pffft....shoes.

Posted by: EC at January 21, 2014 09:06 AM (GQ8sn)

91 Two Words : Lingerie Bowl

Posted by: garrett at January 21, 2014 09:06 AM (Nk+la)

92 If they could get rid of all the hard on drug commercials, it would be much easier to watch with my family.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 21, 2014 09:06 AM (Ntvir)

93 Yup, drop kick and two-point conversion by pass or run.

Posted by: Lincolntf at January 21, 2014 09:06 AM (ZshNr)

94 88
"Do they seriously cut away to commercials between touchdown and PAT in NFL games?"
No.
Posted by: Oscar Meyer at January 21, 2014 01:05 PM (m0HUW)

Half true.
Exceptions are injuries and booth reviews, which seem to happen about half the time.

Posted by: jwb7605 [/i][/u][/s][/b] at January 21, 2014 09:07 AM (3Tv+N)

95 93 Yup, drop kick and two-point conversion by pass or run. Posted by: Lincolntf at January 21, 2014 01:06 PM (ZshNr) Last NFL player to score by drop-kick? Doug Flutie

Posted by: MikeH at January 21, 2014 09:07 AM (136wp)

96 I'm not going to take a position on this until I get a consensus of where the other chowderheads are.

Posted by: jwest at January 21, 2014 09:07 AM (u2a4R)

97 4 Goodell must be a Democrat since he is proposing an unwanted solution in search of a problem.
======
He is.
And he's gone out of his way to politicize the NFL; breaking the truce.

As I pointed out in the morning, just like a liberal, his solution is--as liberals do--is to make it easier.

It's automatic 'cause it's easy.

Move it back to the 25 or 30 but leave the 2-point at the 5.

It's like the NBA: Three pointers are getting too easy. Goodell as NBA commis, "let's do away with the 3-pointer."

Posted by: RoyalOil at January 21, 2014 09:07 AM (VjL9S)

98

"Here's the snap,  the hold,  the kick."

 

"OINK!!"

 

"It's goooooood!"

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at January 21, 2014 09:07 AM (lHb9q)

99 Yeah, whatever. A person has to be a real fucking asshole to support the revenue stream of pro sports these days.

Posted by: CPAC Scum Squeegee at January 21, 2014 09:07 AM (Cs2tJ)

100 Giant Walk-In Freezers to, literally, Ice The Kicker?

Posted by: garrett at January 21, 2014 09:07 AM (Nk+la)

101 One out of six balls is an incendiary.

Posted by: --- at January 21, 2014 09:07 AM (MMC8r)

102 In other news, former Democratic Congress Critter, Dan Boren, son of former Senator, Governor, Congressman, and current President of Oklahoma University, David Boren is considering running for Coburn's Senate seat.


This is a big deal, the Boren name means a lot here in Oklahoma.  Dan wasn't a bad Congressman--very Conservative for a Dim--mainly because Dad, David was a Republican until he changed parties when he married Molly Shy, who came from a prominent Democratic power broker family here in Oklahoma...think Carl Albert, former Speaker of the House.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, think mink. at January 21, 2014 09:08 AM (kXoT0)

103 Yup, I remember Flutie's kick.I assume I was watching the game from my couch. Just watched the replay.

Posted by: Lincolntf at January 21, 2014 09:08 AM (ZshNr)

104 I think they should give each team twenty time outs. Each quarter.

Posted by: Andy Reid at January 21, 2014 09:09 AM (bxpf3)

105 I'd prefer a system where the offensive team is given two automatic extra points for chopping the head off that annoying insurance lizard.

"Oy, mate! You can save fifteen percent.....'whack!'"

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at January 21, 2014 09:09 AM (0IhFx)

106

So it's possible to have a football thread without cheerleaders.  Doesn't sound right to me. 


Russian hackers...  best guess.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at January 21, 2014 09:09 AM (BZAd3)

107 I thought Ace didn't watch fb anymore.

Posted by: Lady Billingsgate at January 21, 2014 09:09 AM (GdalM)

108 If they could get rid of all the hard on drug commercials, it would be much easier to watch with my family.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 21, 2014 01:06 PM (Ntvir)


-----



THIS.   


Im glad my kids are older.... last night I made note of several Cialis commercials, some new fangled high speed tampon, bears with toilet paper stuck to their asses..... and some Trojan vibratey thingy with some secret two part epoxy of ectasy.

Posted by: fixerupper at January 21, 2014 09:09 AM (nELVU)

109 Single Moms Thought Leaders Undocumented Americans

Posted by: Judge Pug at January 21, 2014 09:09 AM (E4MKN)

110 Coaches are always in play?

Posted by: Mike Tomlin at January 21, 2014 09:09 AM (Nk+la)

111 Like others have said, adopt Rugby's rules. The conversion must take place in-line with where the TD was scored. You score in the back corner of the endzone? Then the kicking tee has to be placed along the sideline (at whatever distance the kicker chooses). Perhaps right on the sideline wouldn't work, perhaps make it 10yds from the sideline (max) but definitely outside the hashes. Kicks like this are MUCH more exciting than PATs. (see link) http://youtu.be/N2deEnqLizE

Posted by: ConservativeintheCity at January 21, 2014 09:10 AM (LR4/Y)

112 I think the proposed Bowman Rule is a more important one: the recovery of a loose ball should be covered under the replay rules.

Posted by: Paid for by Citizens for Clyde the Orangutan at January 21, 2014 09:10 AM (QF8uk)

113 I think they should give each team twenty time outs. Each quarter.
-
And they should be long enough for a beer, a piss, and a smoke.

Posted by: WalrusRex at January 21, 2014 09:10 AM (XUKZU)

114 Commissar Revisionism Change the rules of the game. /Soon enough, so we're ALL winners, no losers. It's the participation that matters. No more scoring involved. Just play for fun. Let's all be quarterbacks!

Posted by: panzernashorn at January 21, 2014 09:10 AM (MhA4j)

115 What?
No pic of a pointy elbowed cheerleader with this post?

*throws flag*

Posted by: Paladin at January 21, 2014 09:11 AM (+Wvn3)

116 Three Lateral Minimum.

Posted by: garrett at January 21, 2014 09:11 AM (Nk+la)

117 69 You know what else the NFL can do? Stop it with the pink shit. Yes, I remain pissed off. THIS. Posted by: Brother Cavil wants out at January 21, 2014 01:02 PM (naUcP) I'm a woman and if I see one more pink shoelace, pink hand warmer, pink painted helmet, I am going to demand that the cheerleaders wear beards.

Posted by: Jen at January 21, 2014 09:11 AM (4t/Y9)

118 91 Two Words : Lingerie Bowl Posted by: garrett at January 21, 2014 01:06 PM DING-DING-DING-DING!!! FTW LOL

Posted by: Trubador at January 21, 2014 09:12 AM (MlrAE)

119 Land Mines!!!

Posted by: Zombie George Carlin [/i] [/b] at January 21, 2014 09:12 AM (5ikDv)

120 Pffft....shoes. Posted by: EC at January 21, 2014 01:06 PM (GQ8sn) Sheesh you people are fussy. http://bit.ly/1aH4qlM

Posted by: alexthechick - Skittle fueled Godzillette at January 21, 2014 09:12 AM (VtjlW)

121 NFL Network is shopping around their Thursday night games.

Clever tactic. They put games on Thursday on the NFL Network to force people to sign up and cable cos. to put it on the sports tier.

Mission accomplished. So now they want to sell those games to FoxSports or NBCSports or ESPN. Clever tactic.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at January 21, 2014 01:06 PM (ZPrif)



It's a smart money making tactic but it's a terrible idea for player safety, which the lying cocksuckers pretend to be oh so concerned about.  If I were commissioner, games would only be on Sundays at 1 pm in whatever time zone they're being played.

Posted by: Captain Hate at January 21, 2014 09:12 AM (qr6PR)

122 They should change the shape of the ball so it bounces funny.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at January 21, 2014 09:12 AM (lHb9q)

123
according to some nfl stat site I just looked up, kick conversions are 98 to 99%.  Those 98% years would be a horrible year.

run/pass conversions are just under 50%.

The thing I wouldn't like about it is that I think the math to go for it would change and the missed conversion makes a 2 point try automatic many times, so more excitement.

anyway, my 2 cents. LOB!

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 21, 2014 09:12 AM (n0DEs)

124 okay I added a whole new bunch of random stupid thoughts, including acknowledgement that the entire premise of the post is wrong.

Posted by: ace at January 21, 2014 09:12 AM (/FnUH)

125 How can Ace waste time on football when somebody is leaving pastries lying around on Mars?

Posted by: Ed Schultz at January 21, 2014 09:13 AM (8ZskC)

126 I've said for years that the snap clock should run for extra points just as it would for any other play. Of course, nobody ever listens to me because... well.. I'm just some old crank in Virginia - why the hell should they? Still, slapping a clock on the lick would certainly speed things up because the imbeciles dancing around in the end zone would have to make it short or lose possible points for their team. I SAID I'M AN OLD CRANK!

Posted by: spd rdr at January 21, 2014 09:13 AM (+fXXA)

127 Let's eliminate the offensI've line on all extra point kicks. Roughing the kicker scores the defense a point.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 21, 2014 09:13 AM (Ntvir)

128 Adopt the MLB Drug Testing Policy?

Posted by: garrett at January 21, 2014 09:13 AM (Nk+la)

129 If I see another game officiated as bad as the NFC championship game I won't be watching anymore. They need to fix that crap before messing with the point after try. 

Posted by: NvDude at January 21, 2014 09:13 AM (sV3Dv)

130 I think we should make the sideline reporters kick the extra point.

Posted by: DangerGirl Telecommunications at January 21, 2014 09:13 AM (bxpf3)

131 >>>Every bluefin tuna tested in the waters off California has shown to be
contaminated with radiation that originated in Fukushima.

That statement is mind numbingly stupid. Every bit of metal on Earth is contaminated with uranium. Every rock or pile of mud with Radium. Saying something has radioactive contamination without specifying type or level is about as stupid tinfoil as it gets. I like to use the very understandable "banana" measurement. The potassium in a banana is naturally partially radioactive. And so I like to use "it's like the effective radioactive dose of *how* many bananas again?" Less than one? Less than one half? Seriously less than 1/4 of a banana. 1/20th of a banana for a serving of 7 ounces of bluefin. Or in otherwords you would have to eat close to 9 pounds of bluefin at one sitting in order to equal the radiation dose of consuming one banana.

I don't have time to worry about that; I've got bigger fish to fry.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Laughing Maniacally While Throwing Matches. at January 21, 2014 09:13 AM (0q2P7)

132 Hee, hee: Gov. Jindal says: >>Hey displaced and persecuted New YorkersÂ…You can find refuge, loving people and great food in Louisiana. Twitchy link in name.

Posted by: Mama AJ at January 21, 2014 09:13 AM (SUKHu)

133 Cheerleader sacrifice by by the losing team?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 21, 2014 09:13 AM (8ZskC)

134 I am going to demand that the cheerleaders wear beards. I thought the cheerleaders were beards.

Posted by: Wade Davis at January 21, 2014 09:14 AM (QF8uk)

135 This isnt new. They have talked about this for a while. And I don't think it is all about money. The players dont like being part of a play that is just a formality , but still carries a risk of injury. If you watch a normal season, average game, the defense doesnt even really play it out. Honestly this rule change always made sense to me.

Posted by: dan-O at January 21, 2014 09:14 AM (eQWhp)

136 I'm surprised he's not proposing season long gayification of the league rather than just one month. Forcing the players into neon pink uniforms, pink penalty flags for the refs, and pink endzones all season long! Fab-u-lous!

Posted by: mugiwara at January 21, 2014 09:14 AM (W7ffl)

137 An idiot fucks with shit that don't need fucking with. They need to get rid of that clown before he does damage.

Posted by: maddogg at January 21, 2014 09:14 AM (xWW96)

138 If they could get rid of all the hard on drug commercials, it would be much easier to watch with my family. Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 21, 2014 01:06 PM (Ntvir) ----- THIS. Im glad my kids are older.... last night I made note of several Cialis commercials, some new fangled high speed tampon, bears with toilet paper stuck to their asses..... and some Trojan vibratey thingy with some secret two part epoxy of ectasy. Posted by: fixerupper at January 21, 2014 01:09 PM (nELVU) Threadwinner. I'm still wiping tears.....

Posted by: Jen at January 21, 2014 09:14 AM (4t/Y9)

139 Heh. Thickish snow falling just now. Afternoon meeting canceled by p*ssies.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at January 21, 2014 09:14 AM (aDwsi)

140 I'm definitely not a football expert, but wouldn't this mess up how close the games can be because of the other point values (field goal=3 pt, which is half of a touchdown=6pt, making the extra point more critical,etc.). Sorry in advance for using the wrong terms.
In general, why dick around with something that's worked for decades?

Posted by: Lizzy at January 21, 2014 09:14 AM (POpqt)

141 Wait a high speed tampon? They are making tampons that double as vibrators now?

Posted by: Paranoidgirlinseattle at January 21, 2014 09:14 AM (RZ8pf)

142 Holy Snip & Cut Batman! Instapundit hosting political ads for Abortion Barbie.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 21, 2014 09:15 AM (CRyse)

143 And they should be long enough for a beer, a piss, and a smoke.
Posted by: WalrusRex at January 21, 2014 01:10 PM (XUKZU)

Reminded me of our company Turkey Day football games "back in the day".
All scores and changes of possession -- by rule -- required everybody on both sides to drink a small cup of beer before play resumed.

We had surprisingly few injuries.

Posted by: jwb7605 [/i][/u][/s][/b] at January 21, 2014 09:15 AM (3Tv+N)

144 Siragusa Rule : After every TD we check Tony's Depends. If he spotted, you get the Extra Point.

Posted by: garrett at January 21, 2014 09:15 AM (Nk+la)

145 >>>The thing I wouldn't like about it is that I think the math to go for it would change and the missed conversion makes a 2 point try automatic many times, so more excitement. another way to increase point afters would be this: If the first attempt at a conversion fails, the team attempts a second conversion, but this is only worth a single point. This second attempt must be a conversion (run/pass) and cannot be a kick. If this fails, that's it, they've failed the attempt.

Posted by: ace at January 21, 2014 09:15 AM (/FnUH)

146 106 I thought Ace didn't watch fb anymore.
=========
To be clear, he never really did as he is/was a Giants fan.

Posted by: RoyalOil at January 21, 2014 09:15 AM (VjL9S)

147 Cheerleader sacrifice by by the losing team? Hey now, let's not go overboard here...

Posted by: Brother Cavil wants out at January 21, 2014 09:15 AM (naUcP)

148 Do Tentacle Tuna tentacle-rape rapey dolphins?

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at January 21, 2014 09:15 AM (vHRtU)

149 Ads are front-loaded. That's why the refs will say "this is a 30 sec timeout" near the end of games. Means they've already hit the required quota on tv timeouts and are trying to hurry up to end the game in the time slot

Posted by: brak at January 21, 2014 09:16 AM (iEoiA)

150

>>>How can Ace waste time on football when somebody is leaving pastries lying around on Mars?

 

How can we dance when the Earth is turning? How do we sleep when the beds are burning?

 

/yeah, I dunno

Posted by: Bigby's Semaphore Hands at January 21, 2014 09:16 AM (3ZtZW)

151 40 Every bluefin tuna tested in the waters off California has shown to be contaminated with radiation that originated in Fukushima. Every single one.Are they giant? Posted by: EC at January 21, 2014 12:56 PM (GQ8sn)
Are they ill-tempered?Posted by: Dr. Evil at January 21, 2014 12:57 PM (DrWcr)
TUNADO

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at January 21, 2014 09:16 AM (m2Izr)

152 Well, some NY state congressmen want to ban football completely, for kids. 13 and under, I think. WTF is in the water up there?


Posted by: Biff Boffo at January 21, 2014 09:16 AM (YmPwQ)

153 make the goal posts closer together.... this will make the pat and fieldgoals harder to make.... so teams may go for 2 more often and may go for a first down on 4th more often.... also.... naked cheerleaders...... just becuz

Posted by: Overweight dude with a bag of chips and a beer lounging on the couch at January 21, 2014 09:16 AM (4DD4V)

154 Ace, Agreed. They need to remove the "breaking the plane" rule altogether. Seems to me that the point of football is to advance the ball into the endzone. So it only makes sense that a touchdown is scored once the ball is "advanced" past the goal-line. Similar to how first downs are achieved. This wouldn't affect the toe-tapping TD catches, and would bring some clarity to the "quick flash" breaking-the-plane.

Posted by: ConservativeintheCity at January 21, 2014 09:17 AM (LR4/Y)

155 Im glad my kids are older.... last night I made note of several Cialis commercials, some new fangled high speed tampon, bears with toilet paper stuck to their asses..... and some Trojan vibratey thingy with some secret two part epoxy of ectasy.

Posted by: fixerupper at January 21, 2014 01:09 PM (nELVU)

-----

Fifty years ago (has it been that long?) you couldn't show a woman's navel, but they could wear short shorts.

Dawn Wells talks about the short shorts she wore as Mary Ann on "Gilligan's Island":

http://tinyurl.com/m47clvb

Barbara Eden had the same restrictions on "I Dream of Jeannie", and "Gidget's" two piece swimsuits covered Sally Field's navel as well (though I noticed in some of the beach scenes that women in the background often wore bikinis that were cut lower.


Posted by: Reno_Dave at January 21, 2014 09:17 AM (bsDPd)

156 Just castrate all the players, call them "gheyers" instead, have them play in pink tutus, no tackling and be done with it. Fucking Commies. Is there anything they can't ruin?

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at January 21, 2014 09:17 AM (7ObY1)

157 The rule should really be that you literally touch the ball down on the field of the endzone, or else you establish the ball is in the enzone by having the ball carrier establish his presence in the endzone (one foot for runs, two feet for passes). ace, that is reasonable and rational and intelligent. You know damn well that can't be done.

Posted by: alexthechick - Skittle fueled Godzillette at January 21, 2014 09:17 AM (VtjlW)

158 Keep the PAT, get rid of the kickoff.  If you go for 2, the opposing team gets the ball at the 15.  If you kick the PAT, they get the ball at the 30.

Posted by: Joe at January 21, 2014 09:17 AM (QFnhZ)

159 The ball should be present in the end zone when the play is whistled dead provided the knee, elbow, or ass didn't contact the ground before

Otherwise, just put a damned sensor in the ball and if it crosses an end zone beam a light comes on, just like with hockey goals


Posted by: kbdabear at January 21, 2014 09:17 AM (aTXUx)

160 Coming soon! NFL to substitute Foosball for current play.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at January 21, 2014 09:17 AM (aDwsi)

161 My brilliant solution: a "premium" sports channel, on which time devoted to commercials on the lesser channels would instead be devoted entirely to cheerleader routines.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 21, 2014 09:17 AM (pFqpP)

162 I've got bigger fish to fry. /I] Bigger than a Blue Fin?

Posted by: garrett at January 21, 2014 09:18 AM (Nk+la)

163 >>>An idiot fucks with shit that don't need fucking with. They need to get rid of that clown before he does damage.

Posted by: maddogg

 

 

"Total agreement," sez the SCOAMF

Posted by: Bigby's Semaphore Hands at January 21, 2014 09:18 AM (3ZtZW)

164 In general, why dick around with something that's worked for decades?

Because we're men.

("We now come to the repair portion of the show, called "If It Ain't Broke, You're Not Trying.")

Posted by: HR at January 21, 2014 09:18 AM (ZKzrr)

165 Yeah, Infowars appears to be making bank off the Fukushima stories. They keep popping up.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at January 21, 2014 09:18 AM (ZPrif)

166 And they should put a bar across the top of the goalposts and it's only good if it goes in the box (Heh...box)

Posted by: BuckIV at January 21, 2014 09:18 AM (CLfqv)

167 Holy Snip & Cut Batman! Instapundit hosting political ads for Abortion Barbie.
-
Good snark from Jon Gabriel:

Wendy Davis needs a man like a fish needs a rich bicycle that will pay its way through fish law school and take full custody of its spawn.

Posted by: WalrusRex at January 21, 2014 09:18 AM (XUKZU)

168

Whenever a team is penalized, the team charged has to do tequila shots.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at January 21, 2014 09:18 AM (BZAd3)

169 2.5  points for tossing a Wee-Man or  Vern Troyer sized guy  into the endzone.

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 21, 2014 09:18 AM (BAS5M)

170 I don't have time to worry about that; I've got bigger fish to fry.

Ain't NOBODY got time fuh dat.

Posted by: pep, now with more street cred at January 21, 2014 09:18 AM (6TB1Z)

171
Ok, so we go with team choice, move it to the 1 for a run/pass play 2 points, move it to the 20 for the kick try 1 point or move it to the 10 for the old drop kick off the ground 3 point try.

The math would be so awesome, so many more games would become 1 score games if it was a potential 9 point TD.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 21, 2014 09:18 AM (n0DEs)

172

Back in the day the player had to down the ball in the endzone. In Rugby you still have to.

 

Posted by: Finn McCool at January 21, 2014 09:18 AM (xfPn3)

173 or bong hits.  Their choice.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at January 21, 2014 09:19 AM (BZAd3)

174 The conversion must take place in-line with where the TD was scored. You score in the back corner of the endzone? Then the kicking tee has to be placed along the sideline (at whatever distance the kicker chooses).


That's how it's done in rugby.

Posted by: drill_thrawl at January 21, 2014 09:19 AM (/2ciC)

175 Joe, Now that's a clever out-of-the-box thought.

Posted by: ConservativeintheCity at January 21, 2014 09:19 AM (LR4/Y)

176 Goodell will be pushing to ban kickoff soon enough

Posted by: brak at January 21, 2014 09:19 AM (iEoiA)

177 Moar cleavage from the hawt chick announcers.  /today's yute mode

Posted by: eureka! at January 21, 2014 09:19 AM (xiXna)

178 WTF is in the water up there?

Brawndo.  It's what plants crave.

Posted by: HR at January 21, 2014 09:19 AM (ZKzrr)

179 Posted by: Name at January 21, 2014 12:56 PM (kdYPC)

tongue in cheek.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That (Unexpurgated Edition) at January 21, 2014 09:19 AM (LSDdO)

180 >>some new fangled high speed tampon Ouch! Now I have an earache.

Posted by: Melissa HP at January 21, 2014 09:20 AM (SUKHu)

181 165 And they should put a bar across the top of the goalposts and it's only good if it goes in the box (Heh...box)
=======
Then we can put hair around it to make it easier?

Posted by: RoyalOil at January 21, 2014 09:20 AM (VjL9S)

182 glad people are on board with doing away with this "breaking the plane" nonsense. I hate when a receiver catches the ball at the two and then reaches over -- when he's already OUT OF BOUNDS!!! -- and they say he "broke the plane" of the endzone. Um... no he didn't. He poked the ball over the plane of the endzone as it extends out-of-bounds. The actual endzone is the actual enzone. Even if you have this stupid rule, what the fuck is this stupid shit where you get a touchdown for reaching a ball over into an area that is actually OFF THE FIELD and not part of the endzone at all?

Posted by: ace at January 21, 2014 09:20 AM (/FnUH)

183 I'm not a sports "purist", but keep the friggin' PAT as it is.  If they're going to reinvent NFL football, why not examine every aspect from the size of the playing field (should be wider given how much faster and bigger guys are today), maybe 5 downs instead of 4, etc.

I absolutely HATE baseball purists.  Think about being a baseball purist -- no air travel to games, no blacks, no pitcher's mound, the one-hop rule, etc.  No, what they are pure about is the way they want it played.

Posted by: SFGoth at January 21, 2014 09:20 AM (VGDJR)

184 After the second failed extra point attempt, they should have to spin The Wheel of Destiny that determines where the opponent gets the ball, anywhere from their own 25 to 50 yd line. Spun by cheerleaders.

Posted by: Lincolntf at January 21, 2014 09:20 AM (ZshNr)

185

What's the old saying?  More useless than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest?

 

Maybe all PAT's should be attempted by a one-legged player, or Velcro a two-legged guys legs together.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at January 21, 2014 09:21 AM (lHb9q)

186 Goodell is a typical big corporate CEO type who knows his job is to maximize profits while telling the public that it's not about the money

If they could plaster sponsor logos all over the uniforms, Goodell would green light it as long as it didn't affect NFL merchandizing $$$$$

Posted by: kbdabear at January 21, 2014 09:21 AM (aTXUx)

187

I'm going to lunch, but before I do I will say this.  We're not far away from all sports  being played by robots.  The humans will be in cubicles, and if  they do it right there  will need to be some athleticism involved, not just geeks who use their thumbs. 

 

Anyhoo, I want more violence.  I'm probably not going  to get it until the tech catches up, and  until it does the wusses are in control. 

 

 

Posted by: BurtTC at January 21, 2014 09:21 AM (TOk1P)

188 >>>Back in the day the player had to down the ball in the endzone. In Rugby you still have to. right. The thing is named a "touch down" for a reason.

Posted by: ace at January 21, 2014 09:21 AM (/FnUH)

189 And they should put a bar across the top of the goalposts and it's only good if it goes in the box (Heh...box) ======= Then we can put hair around it to make it easier? Blonde.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 21, 2014 09:21 AM (CRyse)

190 I vote for balls down in the endzone.

Posted by: Reggie Love at January 21, 2014 09:21 AM (vHRtU)

191 140 Wait a high speed tampon? They are making tampons that double as vibrators now? See! Aren't you glad I beat that guy last election?!

Posted by: King Barakan the First at January 21, 2014 09:21 AM (tcK++)

192 All extra points will consist of kicking an erectile dysfunction pill through the uprights from the 10 yard line. Pharmaceutical companies can bid to be the pill on a week by week basis. New revenue Center, baby

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 21, 2014 09:21 AM (Ntvir)

193 tongue in cheek. Posted by: Bitter Clinger ---------------- I think you have teed one up there, but I'm not touching it.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at January 21, 2014 09:21 AM (aDwsi)

194 183 After the second failed extra point attempt, they should have to spin The Wheel of Destiny that determines where the opponent gets the ball, anywhere from their own 25 to 50 yd line. Spun by cheerleaders.
==========
Other potential outcomes: Thunderdome and Jackpot!

Posted by: RoyalOil at January 21, 2014 09:22 AM (VjL9S)

195 And they should put a bar across the top of the goalposts and it's only good if it goes in the box (Heh...box)
=======
Then we can put hair around it to make it easier?

Posted by: RoyalOil at January 21, 2014 01:20 PM (VjL9S)

 

The mere thought terrifies me.

Posted by: Chris Kluwe at January 21, 2014 09:22 AM (DrWcr)

196 81 I agree the extra point today is basically useless except as tradition. Its automatic. Only in the NFL.

Posted by: AmishDude at January 21, 2014 09:22 AM (T0NGe)

197 Or they could do like the old vibrating football board games.  Remember that little metal catapult that you used for field goals?  Roll a trebuchet out onto the field for PAT's.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at January 21, 2014 09:22 AM (lHb9q)

198 >>Do they seriously cut away to commercials between touchdown and PAT in NFL games? Sure they do. Between commercials and replays, sometimes you miss the PAT. Same thing with kickoffs. Sometimes they miss the kickoff. I think they should keep the PAT because it adds an additional avenue for strategy and trickeration in terms of block attempts or fakes.

Posted by: Y-not (@MoxieMom) at January 21, 2014 09:22 AM (zDsvJ)

199 >>That's how it's done in rugby. You know whats not done in rugby? Blocking kicks. They take as long as they damn well please to line up each kick from a raised tee with absolutely zero interference, not even the chance of a botched snap. Having an NFL kicker kick follow a similar pattern would solve nada.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 21, 2014 09:22 AM (g1DWB)

200 The NFL is like a trust-fund baby:

Lots of money, but an utter idiot.

Posted by: Vortex Lovera at January 21, 2014 09:22 AM (wtvvX)

201 >>> Think about being a baseball purist -- no air travel to games, no blacks... tell me more.

Posted by: Guy Who Doesn't Like Hank Aaron Breaking Babe Ruth's Record at January 21, 2014 09:22 AM (/FnUH)

202 I would be happy with the NFL change. I like it.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at January 21, 2014 09:22 AM (IXrOn)

203 Or we could make it more interactive.  If you think they should run dial 1-800-243-9987. If you think they should pass, dial 1-800-243-9988.

Posted by: WalrusRex at January 21, 2014 09:22 AM (XUKZU)

204 I vote for balls down in the endzone. Posted by: Reggie --------------------- No spiking of the balls!

Posted by: Mike Hammer at January 21, 2014 09:22 AM (aDwsi)

205 Heck, I kept wanting to change the channel when watching the NFL with the 78 year old FIL over the holidays. I know we were all a bit uncomfortable realizing that all of America has ED. And is desperate to do something about it. By the way, I am not attracted to a man so stupid he drives his truck into a mud puddle and then has to rely on the two horses he' s hauling to pull him out.

Posted by: Jen at January 21, 2014 09:23 AM (4t/Y9)

206 If they could plaster sponsor logos all over the uniforms, Goodell would green light it as long as it didn't affect NFL merchandizing $$$$$ NFL -Nascar Football League

Posted by: rickb223 at January 21, 2014 09:23 AM (CRyse)

207 Soon enough they'll put chips in the balls and have sensors at the goal line to register crossing the plane. Then we can have robot refs on the score review.

Posted by: brak at January 21, 2014 09:23 AM (iEoiA)

208 I absolutely HATE baseball purists. Think about being a baseball purist -- no air travel to games, no blacks, no pitcher's mound, the one-hop rule, etc. No, what they are pure about is the way they want it played.
Posted by: SFGoth at January 21, 2014 01:20 PM (VGDJR)


I know what you meant there, but I still had to lol.

Posted by: mugiwara at January 21, 2014 09:23 AM (W7ffl)

209 The rule should really be that you literally touch the ball down on the field of the endzone...

That was the rule in yesteryear.  Hence the term "touchdown."

Posted by: Country Singer at January 21, 2014 09:24 AM (L8r/r)

210 It is surprising to me just how bloody many commercials they cram into a football game these days. And often it is the same stupid commercial over and over again which has the opposite effect of what advertisers intended, I begin to loathe the product not want to buy it. DVR. It'll change your life. If you have Windows you can throw a TV tuner card into your computer and use Media Center as your DVR. TiVO lets you put an M or S Card into it and you've got the ability to record four channels at once and watch a recorded show at the same time!

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at January 21, 2014 09:24 AM (P7Wsr)

211 Ace Only problem with that is it's just following the rules on the rest of the field. If a reciever has a reaching toe-tapping sideline catch, they spot the ball where the BALL was, not where his feet went out of bounds. Now, maybe that should change, but I just want consistency between what's called between the goalines, and outside the goallines.

Posted by: ConservativeintheCity at January 21, 2014 09:24 AM (LR4/Y)

212

Maybe they could borrow an idea from arena football, and put netting on the sides of the goalpost so a missed kick can bounce back into play.

And narrow the goalpost, too, as has already been mentioned.

If a field goal then bounces back onto the field, it's treated just like a fumble or a blocked kick. If a PAT bounces back onto the field, and the defending team can take it all the way to the end zone before the play is dead, then it's a safety.

That's my suggestion if you want to make FGs and PATs more interesting.

Posted by: Eddie Willers at January 21, 2014 09:24 AM (bRdb3)

213 So winning elections don't matter as long as you can nominate the biggest sexists and racists out there?

I'm ready for Hillary!

Posted by: Mr Moo Moo at January 21, 2014 09:24 AM (TS9aB)

214
The kicker must hold a 5 pound dumbell in each hand while attempting the kick.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 21, 2014 09:24 AM (n0DEs)

215

The humans will be in cubicles, and if they do it right there will need to be some athleticism involved, not just geeks who use their thumbs.

 

***

 

 

So we're going to be watching people play Wii?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at January 21, 2014 09:24 AM (lHb9q)

216 Do away with the defense team completely. Have two offense teams, two balls playing against each other simultaneously.

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at January 21, 2014 09:25 AM (vHRtU)

217

>>>Fucking Commies. Is there anything they can't ruin?

 

Beanie Weinie?

Posted by: Bigby's Semaphore Hands at January 21, 2014 09:25 AM (3ZtZW)

218 My solution:

Ban holders on extra points. Make them ALL drop-kicks (unless you're goin' for two).

Posted by: Vortex Lovera at January 21, 2014 09:25 AM (wtvvX)

219 114 What?
No pic of a pointy elbowed cheerleader with this post?

*throws flag*
Posted by: Paladin at January 21, 2014 01:11 PM

Here ya go

http://tinyurl.com/mpn4nay

Posted by: kbdabear at January 21, 2014 09:25 AM (aTXUx)

220

@ 181 yes at some point a monumental dipshit came up with the idea that the plane of the goal stretches around the world and hooks back up at the other side of the endzone. NO SHIT actually heard an anouncer say that once. Former QB I think (maybe Boomer)

 

 

Posted by: Finn McCool at January 21, 2014 09:25 AM (xfPn3)

221 By the way, I am not attracted to a man so stupid he drives his truck into a mud puddle and then has to rely on the two horses he' s hauling to pull him out.
==========
As Ron Burgandy says, "That's only TWO horsepower!"

yeah, there's no way two horses are going to pull a pickup (200+HP) and trailer out that is really, actually stuck.

Posted by: RoyalOil at January 21, 2014 09:25 AM (VjL9S)

222 "Do they seriously cut away to commercials between touchdown and PAT in NFL games?"

Yes, they do. I don't remember if both ABC and FOX do it, but I have seen it just this past weekend.

Posted by: [/i]KG at January 21, 2014 09:26 AM (p7BzH)

223 Keep the PAT... but make the Mascot kick it.

Posted by: garrett at January 21, 2014 09:26 AM (S9DQp)

224 Totally agreed about getting a DVR. Record the game and watch it about 1 hour in. Blow right through all commercials and the halftime show. It pains me to watch a game with commercials now.

Posted by: dan-O at January 21, 2014 09:26 AM (eQWhp)

225 Cheerleaders with Merkins otta perk things up.

Posted by: Slim at January 21, 2014 09:26 AM (6909P)

226 I think a pointy elbowed tranny would be more apropos in these times...

Posted by: Judge Pug at January 21, 2014 09:26 AM (E4MKN)

227 24 Next, will remove those dangerous scissors from the classic rock paper scissors game Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 21, 2014 12:54 PM (Ntvir) There are old runners with scissors. There are bold runners with scissors. But there are no old, bold runners with scissors!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] at January 21, 2014 09:26 AM (HsTG8)

228 We need to add the "rouge" score, whatever the hell that is.

Posted by: Guy Who Watched Canadian Football Exactly Once at January 21, 2014 09:26 AM (/FnUH)

229 JackStraw, I think you KEEP the blocking/snap/holds. Just line the ball up closer to where the TD is scored. The only exception being the extreme sideline. Maybe set a limit of no more than 10 yards inside the sideline (otherwise a right footed kicker could never hit a FG from the left sideline without being out of bounds). At least it would add some decision making to the PAT. Sideline TD's would result in longer and angled kicks. TDs scored in the middle of the endzone would be a premium.

Posted by: ConservativeintheCity at January 21, 2014 09:26 AM (LR4/Y)

230 In a similar vein, I plan to get rid of elections after 2014.

Posted by: Barack Hussein Obama at January 21, 2014 09:26 AM (yhJhK)

231 So we're going to be watching people play Wii?
-
Dr. Sheldon Cooper would be a football hero;.

Posted by: WalrusRex at January 21, 2014 09:27 AM (XUKZU)

232 When I get old, I will never use boner pills. I'll do it the old fashion way make her stand on her hands and I'll drop it in.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 21, 2014 09:27 AM (Ntvir)

233 but make the Mascot kick it. I swear I saw someone ask the mascot to stand down in one of the games Sunday.

Posted by: Paid for by Citizens for Clyde the Orangutan at January 21, 2014 09:27 AM (QF8uk)

234 New suggestion: Trollapaults for PAT.

Posted by: alexthechick - Skittle fueled Godzillette at January 21, 2014 09:28 AM (VtjlW)

235 Make em drop kick it. No holder

Posted by: Finn McCool at January 21, 2014 09:28 AM (xfPn3)

236 Two words. Drop Kick. "The only successful drop kick in the NFL since the 1940s was by Doug Flutie, the backup quarterback of the New England Patriots, against the Miami Dolphins on January 1, 2006, for an extra point after a touchdown. Flutie had estimated "an 80 percent chance" of making the drop kick,[7] which was called to give Flutie, 43 at the time, the opportunity to make a historic kick in his final NFL game; the drop kick was his last play in the NFL. After the game, New England coach Bill Belichick said, "I think Doug deserves it,"[8] and Flutie said, "I just thanked him for the opportunity.""

Posted by: Rachel Maddow at January 21, 2014 09:28 AM (vJfir)

237 There should be at least two players per team on motorcycles. And amputations. Why can't there at least be a good possibility of an on-field arm or leg amputation? Think of the ad revenue. This game could be vastly improved.

Posted by: jwest at January 21, 2014 09:28 AM (u2a4R)

238 Walmart has Duck Commander wine.

Posted by: Mama AJ at January 21, 2014 09:28 AM (SUKHu)

239 Instead of giving the QB extra protection, he should be fair game up to ten seconds after he lets go of the ball. Especially if his name is Michael Vick, Tony Romo or rhymes with Peeli Fanning.

Posted by: DangerGirl Telecommunications at January 21, 2014 09:28 AM (0MVzQ)

240 Weight on one side  20% of the balls used  for PAT and  Field  Goals.  These  "special" balls are used only for PAT and  FG.  Hillarity ensues.

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 21, 2014 09:28 AM (BAS5M)

241 TiVO lets you put an M or S Card into it and you've got the ability to record four channels at once and watch a recorded show at the same time!

Posted by: bonhomme at January 21, 2014 01:24 PM (P7Wsr)


-----


Why????


I have trouble nough finding ONE show at a time i want to watch.


And...... git off my lawn.

Posted by: fixerupper at January 21, 2014 09:28 AM (nELVU)

242 Put the linemen on war elephants.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 21, 2014 09:29 AM (8ZskC)

243 Multi-Ball!

Posted by: garrett at January 21, 2014 09:29 AM (dQbaM)

244 Swords

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at January 21, 2014 09:29 AM (BZAd3)

245 What is up with the spate of college shootings lately? And while I am at it, what is up with all the weird industrial explosions (latest the grain thing in Omaha)? I kind of feel a bit like Andy Rooney now. Better go check the mirror for ear hair.

Posted by: Paranoidgirlinseattle at January 21, 2014 09:29 AM (RZ8pf)

246 Ban the use of nut cups.

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at January 21, 2014 09:29 AM (vHRtU)

247 They need those Aussie Rules guys with the top hats near the end zone randomly pointing at shit during the game.

Posted by: akula51[/b][/i][/s] at January 21, 2014 09:29 AM (6bMel)

248 31 Watch hockey instead, 6 & 14 minutes timeouts with only 1 timeout by period. Posted by: MikeH at January 21, 2014 12:55 PM (136wp) You mean, when they aren't busy being on strike, right? Hockey. pfft.

Posted by: blindside at January 21, 2014 09:30 AM (WzWmY)

249 >>I think you KEEP the blocking/snap/holds. Just line the ball up closer to where the TD is scored. The only exception being the extreme sideline. Maybe set a limit of no more than 10 yards inside the sideline (otherwise a right footed kicker could never hit a FG from the left sideline without being out of bounds). I'm not in favor of making to radical a change. This is really not a major problem. A moderate change would be to shrink the width of the goalposts and move the spot of the PAT to the hashmarks just as they do with field goals. Maybe move PATs back to the 10 yard line. Too radical a change and you are no longer dealing with football and I just don't see it as that big a problem.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 21, 2014 09:30 AM (g1DWB)

250 238 Walmart has Duck Commander wine.

Posted by: Mama AJ at January 21, 2014 01:28 PM (SUKHu)

Val-U-Rite substitute!

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at January 21, 2014 09:30 AM (BZAd3)

251 Keep the PAT but allow the defense to stand on five foot high ladders. And/or spread Vaseline in a two foot radius around the ball.

Posted by: DangerGirl Telecommunications at January 21, 2014 09:30 AM (0MVzQ)

252 All extra points kicked from the 50 yard line No one on the field but the kicker and holder.

Posted by: Haywood Jablowme at January 21, 2014 09:30 AM (/zmqF)

253 >>>Shooting at Purdue University I'll take insane Asian student for 1000, Alex.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 21, 2014 09:30 AM (Ntvir)

254 Walmart has Duck Commander wine. So does Tom Thumb. Not sure about HEB.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 21, 2014 09:30 AM (CRyse)

255 Walmart has Duck Commander wine.

Obama has a new show on Discovery.  It's called Duck Responsibility.  (heard that one from a 13 year old)

Posted by: pep at January 21, 2014 09:31 AM (6TB1Z)

256

>>>>Walmart has Duck Commander wine.

 

OK time to stop all of this. Wine? Cmon, mason jars fulla shine, maybe

Posted by: Bigby's Semaphore Hands at January 21, 2014 09:31 AM (3ZtZW)

257 Paid for, you did, it was the Broncos game. Some guy in a suit came and tapped him on the shoulder and it looked like he told him to stop banging the drum.

Posted by: Paranoidgirlinseattle at January 21, 2014 09:31 AM (RZ8pf)

258 They don't cut to commercial before pat. It goes like this: TD and PAT Commercial Kickoff Commercial Play from scrimmage The exceptions would be if there is a timeout before pat or if the TD is under review.

Posted by: dan-O at January 21, 2014 09:31 AM (eQWhp)

259 To make AtC happy, Epaulettes on the Uniforms?

Posted by: garrett at January 21, 2014 09:31 AM (dQbaM)

260 238 Walmart has Duck Commander wine.
======
As I recall from the show, it was . . . quite foul and undrinkable.

Posted by: RoyalOil at January 21, 2014 09:31 AM (VjL9S)

261 5 horse winch will pull 10,000 pounds. 2 horses on Viagra can certainly pull that.

Posted by: Cicero Kid at January 21, 2014 09:31 AM (tcK++)

262 I"m on board with the ball being downed in the end zone to count as a touch down, and also, keeping the PAT. However if the team misses the extra point, they must be  subjected to a brow-beating by Richard Sherman as punishment...

Posted by: JoeyBagels at January 21, 2014 09:31 AM (SQFHY)

263 >>>Only problem with that is it's just following the rules on the rest of the field. If a reciever has a reaching toe-tapping sideline catch, they spot the ball where the BALL was, not where his feet went out of bounds. Now, maybe that should change, but I just want consistency between what's called between the goalines, and outside the goallines. ... that's so easy to change. Plus it's easier to see where his FEET landed than where the ball was, as it's in the air, not close to the field, where there are all sorts of lines and stuff to mark exactly where it was. When one makes rules, one should have his eye towards *ease of adjudication* of the rules. This "break the plane/wherever the BALL is" rule is very difficult to adjudicate. We do not have enough cameras to determine EXACTLY where the ball is in three dimensional space, while it's relatively easy to see where a man's feet are in two dimensional space (the plane of the field). Do we really want so many touchdowns determined by refs guessing exactly where a ball was in three dimensional space? It's a nearly impossible call to make, whereas just looking at the guy's feet is an an easy call. Plus, consider this: Refs are ALREADY looking at the guy's feet to determine whether a ball is caught in bounds or not, or whether he stepped over the line. It's ridiculous to tell a ref-- you've got to look at his feet, and simultaneously at the ball! Um, they can't. They'll look at his feet and guess about the ball. So since they're looking at the feet anyway, make the feet the determinative thing.

Posted by: ace at January 21, 2014 09:31 AM (/FnUH)

264 >>>You know whats not done in rugby? Blocking kicks.

>>>They take as long as they damn well please to line up each kick from a raised tee with absolutely zero interference, not even the chance of a botched snap.


Not 100% true. The kicker gets no offense. Can place the ball as far back as he wants. Opposing team must remain in the endzone....until the kicker starts to move toward the ball after the set, at which point they can rush him. It's important for a kicker to give himself enough room to get the ball off considering he has no blockers.

http://youtu.be/-fFJsHGuQ54

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Laughing Maniacally While Throwing Matches. at January 21, 2014 09:31 AM (0q2P7)

265 Ban Felons from playing. Piss test every day. Ban players from dating cheerleaders so we have a shot.

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at January 21, 2014 09:31 AM (vHRtU)

266 Players must play with Red-Hot in their jocks.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at January 21, 2014 09:32 AM (BZAd3)

267

>>>Multi-Ball!

 

Yes, Leelu. Multi-ball.

Posted by: Bigby's Semaphore Hands at January 21, 2014 09:32 AM (3ZtZW)

268 And amputations. Why can't there at least be a good possibility of an on-field arm or leg amputation? Almost got a leg amputation in the SF/Seattle game Sunday.

Posted by: Paid for by Citizens for Clyde the Orangutan at January 21, 2014 09:32 AM (QF8uk)

269 Tim Scott responds beautifully to our own NC Al Sharpton (Bill barber) from the daily caller (which my phone hates) “To reflect seriously on the comments a person, a pastor, that is filled with baseless and meaningless rhetoric would be to do a disservice to the very people who have sacrificed so much and paved a way,” Scott told The Daily Caller in an emailed statement. “Instead, I will honor the memory of Dr. King by being proactive in holding the door for others and serving my fellow man.  And Rev. Barber will remind me and others of what not to do.” “A ventriloquist can always find a good dummy,” Barber said, as reported by South Carolina’s The State. “he extreme right wing down here [in South Carolina] finds a black guy to be senator and claims he’s the first black senator since Reconstruction and then he goes to Washington, D.C., and articulates the agenda of the tea party.” Scott explained that he has never met Barber and implied that the NAACP chapter head knows nothing about him. “I did not meet him when I was failing out of high school.  I did not see him on the streets of my neighborhoods where too many of my friends got off track and never recovered.  I did not meet him when I was working 85 hour weeks to start my business, nor did I meet him when I was running for Congress against long odds.  But who I did meet were people everywhere across this state who were willing to work hard and to help me succeed — and I them,” Scott said. Noting that he has experienced the dreams of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. “as a proud South Carolinian,” Scott pointed to his “Opportunity Agenda” as a way to promote success by providing Americans more opportunity and making government less intrusive.

Posted by: traye at January 21, 2014 09:32 AM (0o1vp)

270 I agree, it's not a major problem. Personally I feel the breaking-the-plane rule is a bigger issue. Along with no accountablity or reprecussions for officiating crews blowing calls. This is why the replacement refs (while horrible at first) would have been better. You could hire/fire them at will based on their performance. Eventually ending up with good officials who are actually accountable for their good/bad calls.

Posted by: ConservativeintheCity at January 21, 2014 09:32 AM (LR4/Y)

271 Posted by: Bigby's Semaphore Hands at January 21, 2014 01:31 PM (3ZtZW)

If it's say, persimmon or muscadine wine, it would make sense.

Posted by: Country Singer at January 21, 2014 09:32 AM (L8r/r)

272 260 238 Walmart has Duck Commander wine. ====== As I recall from the show, it was . . . quite foul and undrinkable. You ignorant Hick! It was ..... quite fowl[/] and undrinkable.

Posted by: Cicero Kid at January 21, 2014 09:32 AM (tcK++)

273 >>quite foul and undrinkable. Foul or fowl??

Posted by: Mama AJ at January 21, 2014 09:32 AM (SUKHu)

274 Also, if they are going to review every scoring play there has got to be a limit on the review. 15 seconds or so max to review the play, no input from the sideline all calls made remotely ala hockey and move on.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 21, 2014 09:33 AM (g1DWB)

275 Shooting reported at Purdue University ---------------- At or close to EE building. Probably driven to it by a polyphase circuit calculation. That, or boredom with Lay-Flat Indiana.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at January 21, 2014 09:33 AM (aDwsi)

276 By the way, I am not attracted to a man so stupid he drives his truck into a mud puddle and then has to rely on the two horses he' s hauling to pull him out.
___________
He probably should have tried locking the front hubs and using the 4WD before hooking up the mules as well.

Posted by: BuckIV at January 21, 2014 09:33 AM (CLfqv)

277 All kickoff returner must return the ball through a hail of arrows fired from longbows

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 21, 2014 09:33 AM (Ntvir)

278 They need those Aussie Rules guys with the top hats near the end zone randomly pointing at shit during the game.

Posted by: akula51 at January 21, 2014 01:29 PM (6bMel)

 

***

 

The ones who look like butchers from the supermarket?  That would be awesome.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at January 21, 2014 09:33 AM (lHb9q)

279 266 Players must play with Red-Hot in their jocks. We had a lot of fun with a product known as "Atomic Balm" back in the day. Almost as fun as loading up a jockstrap with Nair or Neet.

Posted by: akula51[/b][/i][/s] at January 21, 2014 09:33 AM (6bMel)

280 Cicero - Near-barrel experience, my friend.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at January 21, 2014 09:34 AM (aDwsi)

281

The commercial comes after the PAT.  What they started doing a few years ago was then taking a commercial after the kickoff, which is what really slows things down. 

How about a variation on the rugby try? The place you kick the try from depends on where the ball was downed in the endzone. 

Posted by: Bud Norton at January 21, 2014 09:34 AM (6cOMd)

282 No kick on PAT. Only option ought to be the two point conversion.

Posted by: ObjectionSustained at January 21, 2014 09:34 AM (BO0dy)

283 it looked like he told him to stop banging the drum. Thanks, paranoid. Yes, that was the one.

Posted by: Paid for by Citizens for Clyde the Orangutan at January 21, 2014 09:34 AM (QF8uk)

284 Do not stop the clock for anything except a timeout, halftime, or injury.

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at January 21, 2014 09:34 AM (vHRtU)

285 Walmart has Duck Commander wine. ====== As I recall from the show, it was . . . quite foul and undrinkable. Different stuff. They actually paired with a respectable Napa Valley winery, instead of trying to make it on their own.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 21, 2014 09:34 AM (CRyse)

286 If they could plaster sponsor logos all over the uniforms, Goodell would green light it as long as it didn't affect NFL merchandizing $$$$$

-----

I'm sure Kaepernick was paid by the manufacturer to wear those Beats headphones around his neck during the post game news conference.

As much as I like Kaep, the NFL needs to outlaw this, or it will become every man for himself.

Posted by: Reno_Dave at January 21, 2014 09:34 AM (bsDPd)

287 Posted by: Brother Cavil wants out at January 21, 2014 01:02 PM (naUcP) THIS+++

Posted by: blindside at January 21, 2014 09:34 AM (WzWmY)

288 whoops

Posted by: Cicero Kid at January 21, 2014 09:34 AM (tcK++)

289 OT Wendy Davis. Someone has been very very busy updating her wiki 1980 she moves in wit her boyfriend after her junior year 1981 graduates HS 1982 Marries BF while pregnant, gives birth 1983 meets hubby 2 while working at her dad's restaurant, files for divorce 1984 divorce is finalized 1987 marries hubby 2 88-93 hubby 2 pays for everything, including undergraduate and law school and raise the girls 93 joins TX state bar 96 runs for city council and loses 99 runs for city council and wins 2003 moves out dumping kids with hubby 2 2005 divorce from hubby 2 is finalized, she gives up custody, she is ordered not to use drugs or alcohol with kids 2008 runs for state senate 2012 re elected 2014 state senate term expires So, to be fair, she returned to Texas and lived with hubby 2 from 93 to 2003 before leaving. Still doesn't add up. There will be more

Posted by: Thunderb at January 21, 2014 09:35 AM (zOTsN)

290 Ban players from dating cheerleaders so we have a shot. The cheerleaders squads have rules about this. I don't know if the teams have rules about this. Still, when the secks is involved, rules fly out the window quickly.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at January 21, 2014 09:35 AM (P7Wsr)

291 How about a new overtime rule where the team that is ahead at the end of the extra period wins instead of whoever wins the coin toss?

The college overtime is the best format.

Posted by: Rip Steakface at January 21, 2014 09:35 AM (fz/j+)

292 Amish, viagra, hmm, I wonder. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6XGWSckne4

Posted by: Jen at January 21, 2014 09:35 AM (4t/Y9)

293 Tim Scott responds beautifully to our own NC Al Sharpton (Bill barber) from the daily caller (which my phone hates)


Rev Barber makes Chris Christie look like a malnourished third-world child.

Posted by: EC at January 21, 2014 09:35 AM (GQ8sn)

294 I swear I saw someone ask the mascot to stand down in one of the games Sunday. Broncos mascot was hitting a drum, NFL person grabbed the drumstick from it as a play was about to start

Posted by: brak at January 21, 2014 09:35 AM (iEoiA)

295 Breaking the plane causes you problems?  Whut?

It's one thing that Ace doesn't like football.  It's another thing that he continues to write about it when he doesn't understand it either.


Posted by: Really? at January 21, 2014 09:36 AM (Ed+yP)

296 I think every time an official blows a call, he has to blow the offended team as well.

Posted by: Haywood Jablowme at January 21, 2014 09:36 AM (/zmqF)

297 Splendid, something for me to exploit with my patented Rage Against The Machine Gun rants on my show tonightDo be a dear and watch, won't you?

Posted by: Piers Morgan at January 21, 2014 01:34 PM (aTXUx)


Sorry, don't want to watch an old no talent hack from GB fill his Depends live on TV.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, think mink. at January 21, 2014 09:36 AM (kXoT0)

298 garrett @ 243

Multi-Ball!

---------------------------------

I like it. Your first two TDs lock a ball. After TD #3, all three balls are "free-kicked" (like after a safety) and returned all at the same time.

Chaotic, yes, but would be fun to watch.

Posted by: CoderInCrisis at January 21, 2014 09:36 AM (KVuZM)

299 So how many teams will still go for the extra point (hint: all of them) resulting in the same TV timeout sequences?

Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 21, 2014 09:36 AM (hpVGZ)

300

Gooddell should be the NBA commissioner. Everything he proposes shows he likes basketball more than football.  He hates extra points, kickoff returns, tackling; he wants a longer season,m ore scoring,  more of an international presence.

Posted by: Bud Norton at January 21, 2014 09:36 AM (6cOMd)

301 Posted by: OG Celtic-American at January 21, 2014 01:25 PM (vHRtU)

That would be capture the flag.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That (Unexpurgated Edition) at January 21, 2014 09:36 AM (LSDdO)

302 Ace, So a guy who dives into the endzone, but only makes it up to his waist before his knee hits....no TD? Again, I would prefer we just go by where the ball would be marked if it wasn't in the endzone. Where is the ball when the knee hits. Is it in the endzone? Touchdown. I wouldn't be opposed at all to your change of making the feet count on sideline receptions at all as well. I also agree that the rules should be set up to make their enforcement easier. Thus eliminating the need for replays/challenges as well. However, even if you do have the feet rule, they still need to watch the ball for the ridiculous "process of the catch" (aka Calvin Johnson) rule.

Posted by: ConservativeintheCity at January 21, 2014 09:37 AM (LR4/Y)

303 How 'bout screw football and start doing Rollerball, Deathraces, robot wrasslin', all the kewl sports from the movies

Posted by: Bigby's Semaphore Hands at January 21, 2014 09:37 AM (3ZtZW)

304 "The rule should really be that you literally touch the ball down on the field of the endzone, or else you establish the ball is in the enzone by having the ball carrier establish his presence in the endzone (one foot for runs, two feet for passes)." And what about the foot challenged, such as Tom Dempsey?? HUH?!? Don't you ever think before you post!?!

Posted by: NotCoach at January 21, 2014 09:37 AM (rsudF)

305 The cheerleaders squads have rules about this. I don't know if the teams have rules about this. Still, when the secks is involved, rules fly out the window quickly.

Posted by: bonhomme at January 21, 2014 01:35 PM (P7Wsr)


When the chance to marry a multi-millionaire QB occurs, rules are for amateurs.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, think mink. at January 21, 2014 09:37 AM (kXoT0)

306 >>We had a lot of fun with a product known as "Atomic Balm" back in the day Atomic Balm was much more effective as a hazing/prank weapon. As a medication, meh, but you could burn a bag hairless with that stuff. Good clean 'merkin fun.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 21, 2014 09:37 AM (g1DWB)

307 Gooddell should be the NBA commissioner. Everything he proposes shows he likes basketball more than football. He hates extra points, kickoff returns, tackling; he wants a longer season,m ore scoring, more of an international presence.

Posted by: Bud Norton at January 21, 2014 01:36 PM (6cOMd)



Next thing you know, Chad Ochocinco will be visiting Cuba and hanging out with Raoul.

Posted by: Country Singer at January 21, 2014 09:37 AM (L8r/r)

308 I like it. Your first two TDs lock a ball. After TD #3, all three balls are "free-kicked" (like after a safety) and returned all at the same time.

Chaotic, yes, but would be fun to watch.

Posted by: CoderInCrisis

Banjo music is a must.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at January 21, 2014 09:38 AM (cxs6V)

309 And they should make all the ghey football players wear assless chaps. Because, tradition, dammit.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 21, 2014 09:38 AM (pFqpP)

310 @264 MikeTheMoose: I was unaware that you could do that on the extra point in rugby.

Cool

Posted by: Vortex Lovera at January 21, 2014 09:38 AM (wtvvX)

311 Seriously man:

"Do we really want so many touchdowns determined by refs guessing exactly where a ball was in three dimensional space?

It's a nearly impossible call to make, whereas just looking at the guy's feet is an an easy call."

A "nearly impossible call to make" that is made authoritatively hundreds of times a year, and fixed by replay when things go wrong.

This is the definition of a non-problem for football.

Posted by: Really? at January 21, 2014 09:38 AM (Ed+yP)

312 Moar closeups of cheerleaders' butts!


Posted by: EC at January 21, 2014 09:39 AM (GQ8sn)

313 221 By the way, I am not attracted to a man so stupid he drives his truck
into a mud puddle and then has to rely on the two horses he' s hauling
to pull him out.
==========
As Ron Burgandy says, "That's only TWO horsepower!"

yeah, there's no way two horses are going to pull a pickup (200+HP) and trailer out that is really, actually stuck.

Posted by: RoyalOil at January 21, 2014 01:25 PM (VjL9S)

 

 

 

What I think is totally stupid about that video is that the dumb country  pretty boy is too freaking stupid to put his truck in 4 wheel drive.  Those people making those commercials are idiots!

Posted by: Havedash at January 21, 2014 09:39 AM (SIR+t)

314 "303 Ace, So a guy who dives into the endzone, but only makes it up to his waist before his knee hits....no TD? Again, I would prefer we just go by where the ball would be marked if it wasn't in the endzone. Where is the ball when the knee hits. Is it in the endzone? Touchdown. I wouldn't be opposed at all to your change of making the feet count on sideline receptions at all as well. I also agree that the rules should be set up to make their enforcement easier. Thus eliminating the need for replays/challenges as well. However, even if you do have the feet rule, they still need to watch the ball for the ridiculous "process of the catch" (aka Calvin Johnson) rule. Posted by: ConservativeintheCity at January 21, 2014 01:37 PM (LR4/Y)" Eliminating instant replay would automatically simplify the rules, and make the Calvin Johnson rule almost unenforceable. I personally hate instant replay.

Posted by: NotCoach at January 21, 2014 09:39 AM (rsudF)

315 Look. Let's just be honest. I think we can all agree that Calvinball is the Official Horde Sport.

Posted by: alexthechick - Skittle fueled Godzillette at January 21, 2014 09:39 AM (VtjlW)

316 Broncos mascot was hitting a drum, NFL person grabbed the drumstick from it as a play was about to start And that was somehow louder than the fans?

Posted by: rickb223 at January 21, 2014 09:39 AM (CRyse)

317 Lassos for the defensive backs.

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at January 21, 2014 09:39 AM (vHRtU)

318 @ 292

How about a new overtime rule where the team that is ahead at the end of the extra period wins instead of whoever wins the coin toss?

The college overtime is the best format.

--------------------------------------------------

The NFL changed their overtime format a few years ago. The team that receives the OT kickoff wins immediately on a TD; a FG doesn't win. The defending team wins immediately on a safety or TD. Once the first team has had a possession (whatever happens), the second team gets a possession. If the score is still tied after that, it's sudden death like before.

Posted by: CoderInCrisis at January 21, 2014 09:39 AM (KVuZM)

319 I am getting to the point of hating the NFL. It reminds me too much of Government. No consistency. I hate that.

Posted by: nip at January 21, 2014 09:40 AM (jI23+)

320 The coach of the winning team should drag the body of the coach of the losing team around the stadium three times from a chariot

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 21, 2014 09:40 AM (Ntvir)

321 Eventually ending up with good officials who are actually accountable for their good/bad calls. Pfft. Every scheme to improve upon the NFL reffing will fail. They're the best refs on the planet. The obvious quality differential was screaming when the college refs had to stand in for a while. For comparison, soccer refs don't even have to explain their call. If a call is complained about by everyone with a functioning neuron, they'll go back and find some niggling infraction on the tape and say, "Yep, that's what I was talking about."

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at January 21, 2014 09:40 AM (P7Wsr)

322 309 I like it. Your first two TDs lock a ball. After TD #3, all three balls are "free-kicked" (like after a safety) and returned all at the same time.

Chaotic, yes, but would be fun to watch.

Posted by: CoderInCrisis

Banjo music is a must.
=========
Yakkity Sax.

Posted by: RoyalOil at January 21, 2014 09:41 AM (VjL9S)

323 Okay, here's one:   Field goals increase in points with increasing distance.  1 point if kicked from the 10, 2 points if kicked from beyond 20 yards, 3 points if beyond the 30, 4 points if beyond the 40, etc.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at January 21, 2014 09:41 AM (lHb9q)

324 They don't cut to commercial before pat. It goes like this:

TD and PAT
Commercial
Kickoff
Commercial
Play from scrimmage

The exceptions would be if there is a timeout before pat or if the TD is under review.

Posted by: dan-O at January 21, 2014 01:31 PM (eQWhp)


I've seen it happen, so it does occur and not just for timeouts or reviews.

Posted by: [/i]KG at January 21, 2014 09:41 AM (p7BzH)

325 Give both teams 50 points at the start, to make for higher scores. The LIV's will never catch on.

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at January 21, 2014 09:42 AM (vHRtU)

326 Sarcastaball !!

Posted by: Southpark [/i] [/b] at January 21, 2014 09:42 AM (5ikDv)

327 Okay, here's one: Field goals increase in points with increasing distance. 1 point if kicked from the 10, 2 points if kicked from beyond 20 yards, 3 points if beyond the 30, 4 points if beyond the 40, etc. Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at January 21, 2014 01:41 PM (lHb9q) That would be awesome actually.

Posted by: alexthechick - Skittle fueled Godzillette at January 21, 2014 09:42 AM (VtjlW)

328 Broncos mascot was hitting a drum, NFL person grabbed the drumstick from it as a play was about to start

Posted by: brak at January 21, 2014 01:35 PM (iEoiA)

 

 

I saw that too.

Posted by: Havedash at January 21, 2014 09:42 AM (SIR+t)

329 316 Look. Let's just be honest.

I think we can all agree that Calvinball is the Official Horde Sport.
======
CharDee MacDennis


Posted by: RoyalOil at January 21, 2014 09:42 AM (VjL9S)

330 All the Purdue morons safe and sound?

Posted by: NCKate at January 21, 2014 09:42 AM (x6fKj)

331

>>>Lassos for the defensive backs.

 

That's in the LGBTFL, for the defensive barebacks.

Posted by: Bigby's Semaphore Hands at January 21, 2014 09:43 AM (3ZtZW)

332 What I think is totally stupid about that video is that the dumb country pretty boy is too freaking stupid to put his truck in 4 wheel drive. Those people making those commercials are idiots!

Posted by: Havedash at January 21, 2014 01:39 PM

-------

What about the guy with his truck parked on the beach who uses his knife and a stone to make sparks for a fire? Is the cigarette lighter in the truck dead?

Posted by: Reno_Dave at January 21, 2014 09:43 AM (bsDPd)

333 @324 Seamus And now Fantasy Football becomes "real" football... Not the worst idea I've heard though.

Posted by: ConservativeintheCity at January 21, 2014 09:43 AM (LR4/Y)

334 Kilts

Posted by: Thunderb at January 21, 2014 09:43 AM (zOTsN)

335 The tutu rule. Whoever scores a touchdown must don a ballet tutu for the remainder of the game. If scored via a pass play, both the QB and receiver must don a tutu.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] at January 21, 2014 09:43 AM (HsTG8)

336 329 Broncos mascot was hitting a drum, NFL person grabbed the drumstick from it as a play was about to start Posted by: brak at January 21, 2014 01:35 PM (iEoiA) I saw that too. Posted by: Havedash at January 21, 2014 01:42 PM (SIR+t) The Indian War chant at college games(Florida State) must be banned. I have to hit the mute button when that crap starts.

Posted by: Jen at January 21, 2014 09:44 AM (4t/Y9)

337 I'm concerned about losing the younger audiences. Therefore, PAT's will be determined by end zone dance competitions scored by our panel of celebrity experts in the booth

I believe that may also appease the LGBT groups

Posted by: Roger Goodell at January 21, 2014 09:44 AM (aTXUx)

338 Instead of kicking the extra point, have Pam Oliver run around the end zone and if the QB can hit her in the head with the ball, they get a point.

Posted by: DangerGirl Telecommunications at January 21, 2014 09:44 AM (pUAXu)

339 if you touch a player on the opposing team on their face mask with your hand....you lose points that right there should be a rule

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl 37 days until spring training at January 21, 2014 09:44 AM (u8GsB)

340 Male in custody. One injury.

Posted by: Y-not (@MoxieMom) at January 21, 2014 09:44 AM (zDsvJ)

341 STOP PENALIZING HOLDING !!!

Posted by: Michael in MI at January 21, 2014 09:44 AM (Ntvir)

342 NotCoach @ 315

Eliminating instant replay would automatically simplify the rules, and make the Calvin Johnson rule almost unenforceable. I personally hate instant replay.

-------------------------------------------

I don't mind the current setup too much. Scoring plays and change-of-possessions are automatically reviewed if there is any question on the play, which is a good thing. My gripe with that is that those reviews should be so much quicker than they are. If you can't see it on your first or second viewing of the play, the call should stand.

The downside is that we've been robbed of the joy of watching Andy Reid botch reviews and waste timeouts on insignificant plays.

Posted by: CoderInCrisis at January 21, 2014 09:44 AM (BAEzE)

343 This makes as much sense as naming winter storms. Another new ADHDmerican tradition, it seems.

Posted by: akula51[/b][/i][/s] at January 21, 2014 09:45 AM (6bMel)

344 Posted by: Mike Hammer at January 21, 2014 01:33 PM (aDwsi)

It's actually quite hilly (comparatively) in Lafayette.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That (Unexpurgated Edition) at January 21, 2014 09:45 AM (LSDdO)

345


The tutu rule.

Whoever scores a touchdown must don a ballet tutu for the remainder of the game. If scored via a pass play, both the QB and receiver must don a tutu.

 

==========================

 

Nope. Whoever scores has to bring in Desmond Tutu for the next 5 plays

Posted by: Bigby's Semaphore Hands at January 21, 2014 09:45 AM (3ZtZW)

346 Bob Costas has to take a bukkake from the winning team.

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at January 21, 2014 09:45 AM (vHRtU)

347 Eliminate all field goal attempts from inside of 40 yards.

Dropping the PAT will gain the networks an extra 20-30 seconds of time, all things being equal, of the time when the kick would've been attempted (run onto the field, attempt, show replays of TD) that can go into MORE COMMERCIALS.

Posted by: Kevin in ABQ at January 21, 2014 09:45 AM (XrGnJ)

348 What about the guy with his truck parked on the beach who uses his knife and a stone to make sparks for a fire? Is the cigarette lighter in the truck dead?

Pussy.

Posted by: Les Stroud at January 21, 2014 09:46 AM (6TB1Z)

349 What about the guy with his truck parked on the beach who uses his knife and a stone to make sparks for a fire? Is the cigarette lighter in the truck dead? You bring the truck. No bic or matches floating around in the glovebox or console?

Posted by: rickb223 at January 21, 2014 09:46 AM (CRyse)

350 Limit the number of felons on each team to 5.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 21, 2014 09:46 AM (g1DWB)

351 Regarding the horses pulling the stuck 4x4 out of a mudhole ...

Does a guy having problems getting an erection really want the horses reminding him of that fact?

Posted by: kbdabear at January 21, 2014 09:46 AM (aTXUx)

352 All games played in domes, each dome climate-controlled a la Hunger Games. All teams play 4 searing hot games, four warm games, four cool games and four blizzard games. In random order.

Posted by: Lincolntf at January 21, 2014 09:46 AM (ZshNr)

353 Speaking of stupid, the Pro Bowl draft idea is retarded. I especially like how defensive players may wind up playing against their own QB - which means it may as well be flag football.

Posted by: Y-not (@MoxieMom) at January 21, 2014 09:46 AM (zDsvJ)

354 This is where Adam Carolla's suggestion for a "Review Gimp" comes in. The Gimp knows nothing of the outside world and is led out in chains to review the TD. His call stands.

Posted by: Andy at January 21, 2014 09:46 AM (M+GXg)

355 I also agree that the rules should be set up to make their enforcement easier. Thus eliminating the need for replays/challenges as well. However, even if you do have the feet rule, they still need to watch the ball for the ridiculous "process of the catch" (aka Calvin Johnson) rule.

Posted by: ConservativeintheCity at January 21, 2014 01:37 PM (LR4/Y)

 

 

--------------------------------------------------

 

 

I say that if a QB throws the ball from his own territory and it  lands within the  the endzone without being touched, it's a touchdown.

 

Makes about as much since as any of the other changes I've seen.

 

Leave football alone.  It's a good game.  It's an American game.  I don't want it fucked up  more than it is already.

Posted by: Soona at January 21, 2014 09:46 AM (lp37X)

356 What about the guy with his truck parked on the beach who uses his knife and a stone to make sparks for a fire? Is the cigarette lighter in the truck dead? Posted by: Reno_Dave at January 21, 2014 01:43 PM (bsDPd) What cigarette lighter? Now it's all "charging outlets".

Posted by: alexthechick - Skittle fueled Godzillette at January 21, 2014 09:46 AM (VtjlW)

357 337 The Indian War chant at college games(Florida State) must be banned. I have to hit the mute button when that crap starts. Ever hear it when FSU is playing the Canes at home? Hard to drown out a stadium full of Miami fans chanting "Fuuuuuuuuck you, Sem-i-noles...Sem-i-noles, fuck you," to the sound of that. Always music to my ears.

Posted by: akula51[/b][/i][/s] at January 21, 2014 09:47 AM (6bMel)

358 if you touch a player on the opposing team on their face mask with your hand....you lose points that right there should be a rule More Vernon Davis dong tackles! http://preview.tinyurl.com/pzpsfqb

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at January 21, 2014 09:47 AM (P7Wsr)

359 Damn it-- I really don't know crap about football--but-- (of course it won't stop me from opining)-- I am really SICK of fantastic catches being taken AWAY by some damn SLOW MO crap that NO ONE could SEE with the naked eye. SICK OF IT--AAAAACCCCKKKK!

Posted by: Teleprompter Feed Crew at January 21, 2014 09:47 AM (RJMhd)

360 323 309
I like it. Your first two TDs lock a ball. After TD #3, all three
balls are "free-kicked" (like after a safety) and returned all at the
same time.

Chaotic, yes, but would be fun to watch.

Posted by: CoderInCrisis

Banjo music is a must.
=========
Yakkity Sax.

Posted by: RoyalOil at January 21, 2014 01:41 PM (VjL9S)

----------------------------------------------

Totally. With cheerleaders chasing the returners down the field.

Benny Hill would be proud.

Posted by: CoderInCrisis at January 21, 2014 09:47 AM (BAEzE)

361

How has this been missed?

15 years ago all you heard from the announcers like Madden, et al. was "This is not a giveme".  Why?  Cause it wasn't!  But now it is. 

Rule Changes folks!

Not allowed to line up over center, no leaping on backs, can't line up over the center, fart on the kicker or holder and you get a flag.

It's the rule changes to pussify the game that changed the PA into nothing.  Soon we won't have kickoffs.  Why?  RULE CHANGES that moved that ball to reduce collisions.

We need a "no pussification" president platform.  It's usuably across most planks with the exception of abortion, of course.

Posted by: Brian_AL at January 21, 2014 09:47 AM (mJtuT)

362 349 What about the guy with his truck parked on the beach who uses his knife
and a stone to make sparks for a fire? Is the cigarette lighter in the
truck dead?

Pussy.

Posted by: Les Stroud at January 21, 2014 01:46 PM (6TB1Z)

A lot of the newer vehicles don't come with cigarette lighters now


Posted by: kbdabear at January 21, 2014 09:48 AM (aTXUx)

363 Make the football weigh fifty pounds.

Posted by: model_1066 at January 21, 2014 09:48 AM (LIQGY)

364 so have someone stick an rifd something or other in the ball so if it crosses the goal line / plane of the goal line no ref is needed. maybe something like the computerized line judge in the US open.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 21, 2014 09:48 AM (rDidD)

365 Regarding the horses pulling the stuck 4x4 out of a mudhole ... Does a guy having problems getting an erection really want the horses reminding him of that fact? MENDOZAAAAAAAA!!

Posted by: rickb223 at January 21, 2014 09:48 AM (CRyse)

366 More Vernon Davis dong tackles! Saw in the comments of your link: “just hope he isn’t credited with a sack”.

Posted by: Paid for by Citizens for Clyde the Orangutan at January 21, 2014 09:50 AM (QF8uk)

367

>>>A lot of the newer vehicles don't come with cigarette lighters now

 

And have yet to figure out what to do with the space where the ashtray went.

Posted by: Bigby's Semaphore Hands at January 21, 2014 09:50 AM (3ZtZW)

368 2 points for a horse collar. 3 points for a dreadlock tackle.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 21, 2014 09:50 AM (Ntvir)

369 Half Time rum, sodomy, and the lash.

Posted by: Winston at January 21, 2014 09:50 AM (vHRtU)

370 just end the season on week 4 and give the trophy to Da BEARS everyone knows they'll easily win it all next year...save everyone the time

Posted by: navycopjoe now with 3X the hate at January 21, 2014 09:50 AM (At8tV)

371 2 points for a horse collar. 3 points for a dreadlock tackle.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 21, 2014 01:50 PM (Ntvir)

 

How many for a flying dropkick?

Posted by: Captain Kirk at January 21, 2014 09:50 AM (DrWcr)

372 What cigarette lighter? Now it's all "charging outlets".

Posted by: alexthechick - Skittle fueled Godzillette at January 21, 2014 01:46 PM (VtjlW)


-----


It's an old truck, so there should be a cig lighter (then again, it might not be working or lost).


The commercial would be better if he didn't go back to the truck to find the knife in his toolbox. He should have been carrying the folding knife.


Posted by: Reno_Dave at January 21, 2014 09:50 AM (bsDPd)

373 "Tomahawk for 2" Whoever brought the football across the goal line stands at the 5-yard line with a throwing tomahawk. 4' x 8' board with photo of Goodell is stood up in front of the goalpost. Player throws tomahawk at Goodell figure. If it hits and sticks inside the figure, his team is awarded one point. If it sticks in the groin (AKA, "Doin' an Ames"), his team is awarded two points.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] at January 21, 2014 09:50 AM (HsTG8)

374 I have to admit I am not reading tweets from the ayatollahas as much as I should, does anyone know if one of 'em tweeted something about launching a mission to search for the new world or sailing west to find a shortcut to india?

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 21, 2014 09:51 AM (rDidD)

375

>>>Does a guy having problems getting an erection really want the horses reminding him of that fact?

 

 

What? Being stuck in the mudhole? Just pull her finger.

Posted by: Bigby's Semaphore Hands at January 21, 2014 09:51 AM (3ZtZW)

376

Regarding the horses pulling the stuck 4x4 out of a mudhole ...

 

*****

 

Perhaps the target audience of that ad is  NOT  people who have ever driven a truck or used 4WD.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at January 21, 2014 09:52 AM (lHb9q)

377 I'm still amazed that the guy with the limp dick and the overheated Camaro SS in the desert managed to refill the radiator with a 12 oz bottle of water and make it back home

Posted by: kbdabear at January 21, 2014 09:52 AM (aTXUx)

378 7 points if you scalp a guy with dreads?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 21, 2014 09:52 AM (LLNW+)

379 Make 2-point conversion attempts mandatory. Drop-kicking gets you one point.

Posted by: t-bird at January 21, 2014 09:52 AM (FcR7P)

380 The defensive line gets flamethrowers.

Posted by: Insomniac at January 21, 2014 09:53 AM (DrWcr)

381 I can understand the league wanting to avoid helmet to helmet contact. Therefore, let's get rid of the helmets.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 21, 2014 09:53 AM (Ntvir)

382 if you touch a player on the opposing team on their face mask with your hand....you lose points that right there should be a rule

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl 37 days until spring training at January 21, 2014 01:44 PM (u8GsB)

 

 

----------------------------------------------------

 

 

Oh, please.  One of the  most  fun  lineman tricks is the covert chin crunch.

 

Don't take the fun away from the players with these rule changes.  Because this game is fun  to play.  Ask anyone, from pee wee to pro how much fun it is.  Chaos  and nastyness is as much of this game as scoring points.

Posted by: Soona at January 21, 2014 09:53 AM (lp37X)

383 > 379 7 points if you scalp a guy with dreads? Instant win for that!

Posted by: Winston at January 21, 2014 09:54 AM (vHRtU)

384 I am sure all the broke junk pill commercials are aimed at union guys, viagra tending towards people that have broke junk but have some knowledge and work every so often and cialis for seiu union types who long for a big tub on the beach.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 21, 2014 09:54 AM (rDidD)

385 Posted by: Michael in MI at January 21, 2014 01:44 PM (Ntvir) I don't think anyone tops that, right there.

Posted by: garrett at January 21, 2014 09:54 AM (VpWQs)

386 The two point conversion attempt was put into the NFL in 1994 (so teams with insurmountable leads could come back and at least tie?). How about putting some more luck/gambling in the game by flipping a coin after each TD. "Tails" for a mandatory two point conversion, while a "heads" would be for a kick. Just something different, but the 'professional gamblers' would never go for such a thing.

Posted by: Tom-Pa at January 21, 2014 09:54 AM (jYZt5)

387 The NFL fucked up instant replay so bad, what on earth makes you think they'll actually address this in a logical, coherent manner? Like any other big entity, they can't get anything right.

Posted by: © Sponge at January 21, 2014 09:54 AM (xmcEQ)

388 And no more racism. If you tackle a black man, so help me I will come after you!

Posted by: NFL Commissioner Holder at January 21, 2014 09:55 AM (FcR7P)

389 The commercial would be better if he didn't go back to the truck to find the knife in his toolbox. He should have been carrying the folding knife. I like that he used a flint and knife, but personally I carry a "blast match". It's what they give USAF pilots in case they're shot down. http://preview.tinyurl.com/5rongud

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at January 21, 2014 09:55 AM (P7Wsr)

390 The punting team is allowed to use close air support on the return.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 21, 2014 09:55 AM (Ntvir)

391 You know what else the NFL can do?

Fix the scheduling so that the Cleveland Browns aren't mathematically eliminated during the preseason?

Posted by: OregonMuse at January 21, 2014 09:56 AM (xm1A1)

392 You say this almost as if stacking all those commercials around mostly non-events doesn't provide the opportunity to zip past the crap and get to the football. If remote controls offered a 15 second jump ahead, even the hurry-up offenses could be watched without the jock/analyst/color commentary. Of course you have to give up actual real time, but waiting 30 min to watch a game is trivial.

Posted by: Icepilot at January 21, 2014 09:56 AM (Tx8rr)

393 if you get carried off the field under the guise of being injured....you don't get to come back in the game

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl 37 days until spring training at January 21, 2014 09:57 AM (u8GsB)

394 How about making all games sudden death? No, literally- someone must die in sixty minutes or it's a tie.

Posted by: t-bird at January 21, 2014 09:57 AM (FcR7P)

395 Perhaps the target audience of that ad is NOT people who have ever driven a truck or used 4WD.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at January 21, 2014 01:52 PM (lHb9q)

 

 

 

 

Thread  Conclusion - Viagra makes you stupid.  Goodall is on Viagra.  Next thread please.

Posted by: Havedash at January 21, 2014 09:57 AM (SIR+t)

396 392 No no thats one of the few things they get right

Posted by: Bigby's Semaphore Hands at January 21, 2014 09:57 AM (3ZtZW)

397 The NFL is all about tradition, except when it's not.  The magical plane rules are in no way appealing, and the fucking measuring chains are an absolute joke in this day and age of fucking lasers, gps, and other assorted space-age telemetry.

They can tell me the magnitude of concussive force Mr. Potatohead is receiving during a QB sack, but they can't put a fucking measuring grid under the shitty sod job two underpaid assholes put on the steam-heated field the night before.

Posted by: Fritz at January 21, 2014 09:57 AM (UzPAd)

398 And if the officials can't agree go back to some experts in --well not Ottawa-- but damn it. Do it like hockey ya bastards.

Posted by: Teleprompter Feed Crew at January 21, 2014 09:58 AM (RJMhd)

399 Oh, please. One of the most fun lineman tricks is the covert chin crunch. Don't take the fun away from the players with these rule changes. Because this game is fun to play. Ask anyone, from pee wee to pro how much fun it is. Chaos and nastyness is as much of this game as scoring points. Posted by: Soona at January 21, 2014 01:53 PM (lp37X) nope, sorry.....touch the face mask lose points...

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl 37 days until spring training at January 21, 2014 09:58 AM (u8GsB)

400

>>>If remote controls offered a 15 second jump ahead

 

Saw an Adam Sandler movie about that

Posted by: Bigby's Semaphore Hands at January 21, 2014 09:58 AM (3ZtZW)

401 Eliminate the 2 minute warning and replace it with the two minutes hate.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 21, 2014 09:59 AM (Ntvir)

402 if the ref makes the wrong call and it is overturned....the ref will be hanged from the goal post of the team his call would have benefited

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl 37 days until spring training at January 21, 2014 09:59 AM (u8GsB)

403 Jay Cutler should have to wear a skirt.

Posted by: garrett at January 21, 2014 10:00 AM (wnnBI)

404 The defensive line gets flamethrowers. Posted by: Insomniac ----------------- While the vision of flaming linemen screaming and running around on the field has a certain appeal, I think it only fair that the offense be equipped with chainsaws.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at January 21, 2014 10:00 AM (aDwsi)

405 Jay Cutler should have to wear a skirt. Posted by: garrett ---------------- At first I read that as 'Jay Carney'

Posted by: Mike Hammer at January 21, 2014 10:01 AM (aDwsi)

406 403 if the ref makes the wrong call and it is overturned....the ref will be hanged from the goal post of the team his call would have benefited Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl 37 days until spring training at January 21, 2014 01:59 PM (u8GsB) ********* That's a a little harsh. Just hang him by his nads--that would be better.

Posted by: Teleprompter Feed Crew at January 21, 2014 10:01 AM (RJMhd)

407 Make it REALLY interesting...

The player that scored the TD gets an extra point if he can correctly name the question to a Final Jeopardy answer ....

Posted by: Alex Trebek at January 21, 2014 10:01 AM (aTXUx)

408 Hot Air: Let's end the Olympics. Much bs spouted at the WaPo.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 21, 2014 10:01 AM (CRyse)

409 OT: Looks like we've gotten about three inches of GoreBull Warming on the ground here in northern Delaware so far and it's still falling...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] at January 21, 2014 10:01 AM (HsTG8)

410 Jay Cutler should have to wear mens clothing for a change.

Posted by: Winston at January 21, 2014 10:01 AM (vHRtU)

411 One of the other problems with this is the difference between local and national TV spots. Over the course of programming there are certain spots that are reserved for the local carrier to run ads. This is part of the carrier agreements with cable/FiOS/satellite providers as it is where they make their money, especially on more popular programming. On unscripted programming like football they have to squeeze in the ads where they can within the guaranteed block and thus you end up with a buttload to start the game and it tapers off later on. At the same time, on absurdly long drives they will often request delays between a score and a kickoff in order to meet their obligations to the local carrier.

Posted by: Russian Assassin at January 21, 2014 10:02 AM (dfQ4e)

412 What the NFL needs is fewer penalties not more. One of the things I hate is when the refs ease up on the rules, especially pass interference during the playoffs. If I hear one more lame announcer say "well it looks like they are going to let the boys play today because its the playoffs" something is going through the tube. Its either a penalty or its not and it does't matter if its Theresa Brady or some 3rd team scrub. Call fewer penalties and be frigging consistent.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 21, 2014 10:02 AM (g1DWB)

413 Each team gets 10 Land Mines/IEDs that they can bury anywhere on the field of play. These can be activated twice per game for a period of 7 seconds.

Posted by: garrett at January 21, 2014 10:02 AM (wnnBI)

414 nope, sorry.....touch the face mask lose points...

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl 37 days until spring training at January 21, 2014 01:58 PM (u8GsB)

 

 

-------------------------------------------

 

 

Bring back the  pre-concussion-mania rules.  Let the players play the game.  It was never  intended to be a genteel sport.  Just the  opposite.

Posted by: Soona at January 21, 2014 10:02 AM (lp37X)

415

>>>Hot Air: Let's end the Olympics.

 

I can't get there from here. ...why 'end' them?

Posted by: Bigby's Semaphore Hands at January 21, 2014 10:02 AM (3ZtZW)

416 fart on the kicker or holder and you get a flag.

You don't seem to be watching the games actually being played.

Posted by: Kevin Huber at January 21, 2014 10:02 AM (ZKzrr)

417 Much bs spouted at the WaPo.

Posted by: rickb223

Careful not step in Wapo.

Posted by: Indian Chief [/i] [/b] at January 21, 2014 10:02 AM (cxs6V)

418 Let the black players randomly  try to knock the white players  with  a sucker punch  out when the  white players take their helmets off. 

Posted by: Havedash at January 21, 2014 10:03 AM (SIR+t)

419 398 The NFL is all about tradition, except when it's not. The magical plane rules are in no way appealing, and the fucking measuring chains are an absolute joke in this day and age of fucking lasers, gps, and other assorted space-age telemetry.

They can tell me the magnitude of concussive force Mr. Potatohead is receiving during a QB sack, but they can't put a fucking measuring grid under the shitty sod job two underpaid assholes put on the steam-heated field the night before.

Posted by: Fritz at January 21, 2014 01:57 PM (UzPAd)
-----------------------------------
^^^^ This.

And why is there not an automated system that can tell when the ball "breaks the plane"? They prefer to just guess, I suppose.

Posted by: CoderInCrisis at January 21, 2014 10:03 AM (BAEzE)

420 Make it VERY interesting ....

Extra point kicks should pass between cheerleader "gaps"

Posted by: kbdabear at January 21, 2014 10:03 AM (aTXUx)

421 No, Ace, the the networks don't break for a commercial after the touchdown and before the extra point. They stay and show the celebration of the touchdown, and then fail to show replays of the touchdown because they cut away from the celebration to the extra point. Then they cut to the commercial.

Posted by: Lloyd at January 21, 2014 10:03 AM (cYdUK)

422 Bring back the pre-concussion-mania rules. Let the players play the game. It was never intended to be a genteel sport. Just the opposite. Posted by: Soona at January 21, 2014 02:02 PM (lp37X) i totally agree....but until they do...no touchy the face masky of the other teamy

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl 37 days until spring training at January 21, 2014 10:03 AM (u8GsB)

423 Hey, I'm back.

To make the nfl more popular worldwide all XP's will use a soccer ball penalty kick against a professional soccer goalie and net.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 21, 2014 10:04 AM (n0DEs)

424 Replace the PAT with a round of 'Spot the Tranny'?

Posted by: garrett at January 21, 2014 10:04 AM (wnnBI)

425 on a kick off...if it is caught in the endzone....YOU HAVE TO RUN!

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl 37 days until spring training at January 21, 2014 10:05 AM (u8GsB)

426 Hot Air: Let's end the Olympics. I can't get there from here. ...why 'end' them? Mainly because of Putin H8ing on teh gheys.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 21, 2014 10:05 AM (CRyse)

427 Eliminate the 2 minute warning and replace it with the two minutes hate.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 21, 2014 01:59 PM (Ntvir)

 

 

----------------------------------------------

 

 

That's actually not a bad idea.

Posted by: Soona at January 21, 2014 10:05 AM (lp37X)

428 Make all games to be played on the clitoral cruisers helodecks. If you go overboard you are out.

Posted by: Winston at January 21, 2014 10:05 AM (vHRtU)

429 extra points for a good celebratory jig

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl 37 days until spring training at January 21, 2014 10:06 AM (u8GsB)

430 Rather than defensive backs, why don't we have the secondary attempt to down a pass with a drone?

Posted by: kbdabear at January 21, 2014 10:06 AM (aTXUx)

431 And why is there not an automated system that can tell when the ball "breaks the plane"? They prefer to just guess, I suppose.

Posted by: CoderInCrisis at January 21, 2014 02:03 PM (BAEzE)

 

 

----------------------------------------------

 

 

I like it the way it is.  Adds drama.

Posted by: Soona at January 21, 2014 10:06 AM (lp37X)

432 Opera singer Renee Fleming will sing the national anthem at the Super Bowl, 1st opera star to do so. Well, she has huge tracts of land and can really belt it out, should be good!

Posted by: Winston at January 21, 2014 10:07 AM (vHRtU)

433 "What cigarette lighter?" I was looking at a new Maserati last week and it has a cigarette lighter. Fuck, I miss smoking.

Posted by: jwest at January 21, 2014 10:07 AM (u2a4R)

434 427 Hot Air: Let's end the Olympics.

I can't get there from here. ...why 'end' them?

Mainly because of Putin H8ing on teh gheys.
Posted by: rickb223 at January 21, 2014 02:05 PM (CRyse)
----------------------------------
So they're fine with the graft and corruption, but not Putin's stance on gays.

Posted by: CoderInCrisis at January 21, 2014 10:07 AM (BAEzE)

435 The crowd should give a thumbs up or thumbs down on all controversial plays. Then the referee is killed by bears.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 21, 2014 10:07 AM (Ntvir)

436
4th quarter interceptions will now be called Romos.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 21, 2014 10:07 AM (n0DEs)

437 Then the referee is killed by bears. Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 21, 2014 02:07 PM (Ntvir) da bears?

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl 37 days until spring training at January 21, 2014 10:08 AM (u8GsB)

438 Allow the Steven Segal 'Cockpuncher' tackle.

Posted by: Winston at January 21, 2014 10:09 AM (vHRtU)

439 Eliminate the 2 minute warning and replace it with the two minutes hate. ------------------- I recall that the Nat Lamp suggested a new Olympic event called Running Amok. The object being to leap into the stands and wreak as much havoc as possible upon the spectators. They figured the Turks as shoo-in winners.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at January 21, 2014 10:09 AM (aDwsi)

440 437
4th quarter interceptions will now be called Romos.
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 21, 2014 02:07 PM (n0DEs)
----------------------------------
The defending team gets an automatic 6 points.

Posted by: CoderInCrisis at January 21, 2014 10:09 AM (BAEzE)

441

>>>Mainly because of Putin H8ing on teh gheys.

 

Such.Delicate.Flowers.

Posted by: Bigby's Semaphore Hands at January 21, 2014 10:09 AM (3ZtZW)

442

/frantically hitting his HOTAIR BUTTON!!!!

Posted by: soothsayer at January 21, 2014 10:09 AM (gYIst)

443 Mascots must be real Actual bears, etc

Posted by: Thunderb at January 21, 2014 10:10 AM (zOTsN)

444 Replace the Goal Line with a Croc filled Moat.

Posted by: garrett at January 21, 2014 10:10 AM (wnnBI)

445 And the second most important thing about the Purdue shooting:  What did the athletes tweet?

http://is.gd/xPoV1e

Posted by: HR at January 21, 2014 10:10 AM (ZKzrr)

446 Mainly because of Putin H8ing on teh gheys.
Posted by: rickb223 at January 21, 2014 02:05 PM (CRyse)


So they can't get what they want politically so politicians are going to ruin peoples lives just to prove a point.

Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at January 21, 2014 10:11 AM (WdbF7)

447 382 I can understand the league wanting to avoid helmet to helmet contact. Therefore, let's get rid of the helmets. Nah. Let's put a spike on each helmet. Like a Pickelhaube.

Posted by: Cicero Kaboom! Kid at January 21, 2014 10:11 AM (tcK++)

448 Make the extra point kick perpendicular to the goal line from where the touchdown was scored. Same distance out from goal as now. Just like RUGBY. So a score in the corner of the end zone is a kick from the corner of the end zone.

Posted by: kevin at January 21, 2014 10:11 AM (jq3Er)

449 >>>da bears? Don't be silly. There would actually be violence and contact.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 21, 2014 10:11 AM (Ntvir)

450 443 /frantically hitting his HOTAIR BUTTON!!!! Posted by: soothsayer at January 21, 2014 02:09 PM (gYIst) ********** Oh shit....

Posted by: Teleprompter Feed Crew at January 21, 2014 10:11 AM (RJMhd)

451 so politicians are going to ruin peoples lives just to prove a point.

Water's wet again today, eh?

Posted by: HR at January 21, 2014 10:11 AM (ZKzrr)

452 I recall that the Nat Lamp suggested a new Olympic event called Running Amok. The object being to leap into the stands and wreak as much havoc as possible upon the spectators. They figured the Turks as shoo-in winners.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at January 21, 2014 02:09 PM (aDwsi)

 

 

-------------------------------------------

 

 

A  pay-perview extravaganza.   Yes, I'd pay to watch that.

Posted by: Soona at January 21, 2014 10:11 AM (lp37X)

453 Centers must go pantless. Lets see which QBs are really in it to win it.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 21, 2014 10:11 AM (g1DWB)

454 448 382 I can understand the league wanting to avoid helmet to helmet contact. Therefore, let's get rid of the helmets. Nah. Let's put a spike on each helmet. Like a Pickelhaube. Posted by: Cicero Kaboom! Kid at January 21, 2014 02:11 PM (tcK++) that would nullify my face mask rule

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl 37 days until spring training at January 21, 2014 10:11 AM (u8GsB)

455 Replace the halftime show with the Upper Class Twit of the Year competition. The 'taking off the debs bra' segment will keep people watching, improving ad revenue.

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at January 21, 2014 10:12 AM (vHRtU)

456 I gotta say I really like this thread. The serious suggestions are reasonable, and the unserious suggestions are pretty damn funny.

Posted by: ace at January 21, 2014 10:12 AM (/FnUH)

457

In case anyone is too calm  today, the EPA has stepped up for you and wants to harsh your mellow.  On their own, the  blessed  bureaucrats  have  decided to alter the borders of  the sovereign state of Wyoming  and give some land over to the Arapahoe.  The Tribes may deserve this land for all I know, but administrative fiat is a sucky way to run this railroad.   The press won't care, I know,  because  Red  state.

 

http://bit.ly/LBXLzK

Posted by: MTF at January 21, 2014 10:12 AM (B5y+v)

458 Is it true that half time was invented by flappers with bottles of pepsi? 

Posted by: polynikes at January 21, 2014 10:13 AM (m2CN7)

459 Wow Drudge headline 55 million abortions since Roe 55 million

Posted by: Thunderb at January 21, 2014 10:13 AM (zOTsN)

460 Nood abortion barbie up!

Posted by: rickb223 at January 21, 2014 10:14 AM (CRyse)

461 After a TD, the guy who scored gets the cheerleader of his choice from the opposing team. Or the owner's wife/daughter. And a 2-minute timeout.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b] at January 21, 2014 10:14 AM (0HooB)

462 Purdue back to normal. Cow-tipping may resume. I denounce myself.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at January 21, 2014 10:15 AM (aDwsi)

463 >>>Mainly because of Putin H8ing on teh gheys.
Posted by: rickb223 at January 21, 2014 02:05 PM (CRyse)


>>>So they can't get what they want politically so politicians are going to ruin peoples lives just to prove a point.


Yes the Olympic movement survived Hitler, Communism, two world wars. But should be shut down because of a host country policy toward homosexuality. It's the new blasphemy.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Laughing Maniacally While Throwing Matches. at January 21, 2014 10:16 AM (0q2P7)

464 If anybody caterwauls during the Star Spangled Banner, bears kill them.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 21, 2014 10:16 AM (Ntvir)

465 After a TD, the guy who scored gets the cheerleader of his choice from the opposing team.

And if the TD is scored against Green Bay or NY Giants, who don't have cheerleaders, they have to use linebackers instead.

Posted by: OregonMuse at January 21, 2014 10:18 AM (xm1A1)

466 Replace PAT with Cheerleader Indian Leg Wrestling.

Posted by: garrett at January 21, 2014 10:18 AM (wnnBI)

467 Rename the 49'ers the San Francisco Foreskins.

Posted by: garrett at January 21, 2014 10:19 AM (wnnBI)

468 This

Posted by: JoeyBagels at January 21, 2014 10:19 AM (SQFHY)

469 If a referee picks up a flag, he has to eat it. I'm serious about this one. That pisses me off.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 21, 2014 10:19 AM (Ntvir)

470 457 I gotta say I really like this thread. The serious suggestions are reasonable, and the unserious suggestions are pretty damn funny. Posted by: ace at January 21, 2014 02:12 PM

That's why this is a Smart Mil-Blog

Posted by: kbdabear at January 21, 2014 10:25 AM (aTXUx)

471 commercial breaks only - no messing with the game.

Posted by: William McGee at January 21, 2014 10:27 AM (BI2a8)

472 Incendiary devices shall be used to punish end zone dancing.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at January 21, 2014 10:30 AM (KuaJc)

473 Death by Guillotine at the 50 yard line for any player who attempts to leap into the crowd and doesn't make it.

Posted by: garrett at January 21, 2014 10:30 AM (wnnBI)

474 How about a serious one - Maybe just no PAT after defensive touchdowns?

Posted by: garrett at January 21, 2014 10:32 AM (wnnBI)

475 Ritually bury Jerry Jones at halftime of every game. Keep it up until the earth doesn't spit him out anymore.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at January 21, 2014 10:33 AM (KuaJc)

476 Replace PAT with cheerleader wet t-shirt contest.

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at January 21, 2014 10:33 AM (7ObY1)

477 They should introduce the designated hitter into football.  We need more random, pointless innovations in sports.

Posted by: Steve in Greensboro at January 21, 2014 10:42 AM (Dq8Uc)

478 Before there was Gomer, opera singers sang "Indiana" at the 500.
It seemed to make the Offenhausers faster.

Can't bring back Joe Foss, so:  A ban on tattoos.
Sousa marches, no "rock and roll." Purdue has a great big drum.
Mandatory handshakes in end zone between teams on each TD.

Death penalty for gambling.
And, to make up for the casino losses, each team must choose a local tribe to be named after, adopt a member to play, and split the broadcast revenue 50/50.  

Posted by: Stringer Davis at January 21, 2014 10:44 AM (xq1UY)

479 No, the commish said it all in his statement. They're "almost" automatic. Almost. Almost. That's why they play the games.

Posted by: Teh Most Interesting Man at January 21, 2014 11:13 AM (dTh2r)

480 If you change the extra point rules, you will have to also change the field goal rules.  They were     set up such that it requires two field goals plus a two point conversion on a later touchdown to tie the game.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at January 21, 2014 11:45 AM (ZkzmI)

481 Too late, the NFL is dying a slow but steady death.

Concussion lawsuits will kill the game eventually - not against the NFL or NCAA, but against helmet makers.  They will be driven from the business and eventually it will really be unsafe to play at all without helmets.

Besides, any sport that allows a team to wear neon lime green to its championship game deserves to driven out of existence with much derision.

Posted by: Adjoran at January 21, 2014 11:50 AM (473jB)

482 Does ESPN show games without the incessant commercials? They drive me insane. I don't mind having SOME commercials, but come ON, people! Commercials : play time = 3 : 1.

Posted by: Beverly at January 21, 2014 11:51 AM (527C8)

483 The game of professional football is crumbling around Goodell (see attendance and T.V. ratings) and this is the shit he works on?

Posted by: STL Hawkeye at January 21, 2014 12:13 PM (8xnaO)

484 There is another issue here, perhaps mentioned above (which I missed, or not), the matter of giving players a chance for a "blow", or short break, which, without, may increase the chance of injury. In any case, if a change is to be made (which I oppose), move the ball further out for the PAT.

Posted by: Socabill at January 21, 2014 12:30 PM (N1+Xr)

485 Football's bound to get more rugby-like anyway. Less padding, no hard helmets --> More controlled hits, fewer injuries.

Might as well go with the actual touchdown thang while we're waiting.

Don't worry, ass will still be kicked. Really, it will.

Posted by: J. Moses Browning at January 21, 2014 12:45 PM (61Cnj)

486 " OT but has anyone noticed all the Hillary for Prez ads on the site lately? Ugh." CLICK THOSE. Ace gets paid. Hillary pays. No actually help for Hillary.

Posted by: sexypig at January 21, 2014 12:47 PM (dZQh7)

487 Greetings: 1) So, everybody gets an extra point ??? 2) How about the NFL not putting up with its player wearing those cute little skullcaps during the playing of our National ANthem. For a league with "National" in its name, that swaths it stadia in red, white, and blue, puts those cute little American flag stickers on every players' helmet, and has any number of regulations about what its players can wear on their heads, when and how, I would think that it would not be all that much of a problem.

Posted by: 11B40 at January 21, 2014 01:09 PM (gxizV)

488 How about the defense gets to pick one player out of the 11 offensive players that gets to kick the PAT?

Posted by: scrood at January 21, 2014 01:37 PM (wvPFe)

489 To make NFL football more interesting, I think a five yard swath of turf on either side of the 50-yard line should be on fire.

Posted by: OregonMuse at January 21, 2014 03:23 PM (xm1A1)

490 And if the QB nails a pass rusher in the nuts with the football, the team on offense is awarded one point.

Posted by: OregonMuse at January 21, 2014 03:27 PM (xm1A1)

491 Pretty easy...make the PAT only scoreable if drop kicked. 1) Brings back an historically cool play; 2) Makes the two conversion more dicey because, 3) the QB will be the new PAT kicker...just like the QB used to do the drop kicks in the 20's and 30'. ...Remember the song: "Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life...not to the left...nor to the right..."

Posted by: ken at January 21, 2014 04:04 PM (39HxV)

492 How about having a cheerleader hike the ball through the goal posts?

Posted by: eman at January 21, 2014 04:14 PM (nXtLk)

493 What aint broke don't need fixin...

Posted by: Gunga at January 23, 2014 11:21 AM (lDgIe)

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