March 25, 2014

Sick Day
— Ace

Well, I've been feeling rundown for a while and today I just feel unwell.

I'm going to put up some very light stuff (lighter even than my recent blow-off stuff) but pretty much I'm taking the day off.

Posted by: Ace at 08:38 AM | Comments (367)
Post contains 42 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Feel better soon, ace. You really need a full physical...you're sick a lot for a youngin'.

Posted by: Tami [/i][/b][/u][/s] at March 25, 2014 08:39 AM (bCEmE)

2 damn you yodaflops

Posted by: The Dude at March 25, 2014 08:39 AM (bStrg)

3 I told you that Hepatitis doesn't just "go away."

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at March 25, 2014 08:39 AM (+lsX1)

4 You need some brown liquor Ace.

Posted by: Vic[/i] at March 25, 2014 08:39 AM (T2V/1)

5 Hope you get to feeling better Ace.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 25, 2014 08:40 AM (uVkIH)

6 I second Tami.  Go get probed.

Posted by: rickinstl at March 25, 2014 08:40 AM (0AEWQ)

7 I have a feeling you're somewhere in EST timezone.  I think you need to move to the West.  Anywhere in MST and I'm sure you're health and emotional stability will improve.

Posted by: aquaviva at March 25, 2014 08:40 AM (wFinq)

8

Posted by: cajun caret at March 25, 2014 08:40 AM (UZQM8)

9 Rum. It cures what ails ya.

Posted by: Azenogoth (Freedom or Fire) Est. 1836 at March 25, 2014 08:40 AM (Kh+vp)

10 "Well if it's drugs you want, the old Doctor can fix you up."

Posted by: Daybrother at March 25, 2014 08:40 AM (wdHi5)

11 Couple shots of bourbon and you'll be fine.

Posted by: Adam at March 25, 2014 08:41 AM (Aif/5)

12 A little range time would fix you right up.

Posted by: toby928© embraces tribalism at March 25, 2014 08:41 AM (QupBk)

13 Feel better, Ace. You make the world a better, funnier place!

Posted by: BethinPA at March 25, 2014 08:41 AM (xhnCp)

14 Don't let it get out of hand, Ace, whatever you do. That was my problem 18 months ago: I thought I could just sleep it off. Then I woke up in an ICU with septic pneumonia after respiratory arrest. See a doctor.

Posted by: RS at March 25, 2014 08:42 AM (YAGV/)

15 Only eat fresh hobo meat.

Posted by: Killerdog at March 25, 2014 08:42 AM (cKWxw)

16 Could be a tumor.

Posted by: Dr Spank at March 25, 2014 08:42 AM (P1WNR)

17 You probably have too many tonsils. Let me take some out.

Posted by: American Doctor at March 25, 2014 08:42 AM (fOLwM)

18 Grab the rectal thermometer! We're going in!!!

Posted by: Pug-delicious! at March 25, 2014 08:42 AM (vFh9Q)

19 Ace, hope you feel better soon! Oh my gosh, The Mooch actually said this in a speech she gave in China. (So fricking offensive!) I wonder why she didn't mention slavery while she was at it. As if she has ever suffered because of "racism". "Now of course, living up to these ideals isnÂ’t always easy. And there have been times in our history where we have fallen short. Many decades ago, there were actually laws in America that allowed discrimination against black people like me, who are a minority in the United States. But over time, ordinary citizens decided that those laws were unfair. So they held peaceful protests and marches. They called on government officials to change those laws, and they voted to elect new officials who shared their views," she said.

Posted by: runningrn at March 25, 2014 08:43 AM (o6g4X)

20 A couple of good shots of the cough syrup you have to show id to the pharmacist to get...  See ya tomorrow then.  You can write a post about the dreams....  heh.  ( I may be speaking from personal experience )

Posted by: Yip at March 25, 2014 08:43 AM (/jHWN)

21

Feel better you homo.

 

You should drink hard liquor more.  It cleans out the system.

Posted by: prescient11 at March 25, 2014 08:43 AM (tVTLU)

22 Seems the Global Warming has emaciated the hobo population, leaving them weakened and of poorer nutritional value. What we are seeing here is the secondary effects in the predator community.

Posted by: RoyalOil at March 25, 2014 08:43 AM (VjL9S)

23 Buck up, Ace. Wait. Typo?

Posted by: m at March 25, 2014 08:43 AM (2AqeI)

24 Grab the rectal thermometer! We're going in!!!

Posted by: Pug-delicious! at March 25, 2014 12:42 PM (vFh9Q)


-----


Do you know how tell the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer????



The.Taste.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 25, 2014 08:44 AM (nELVU)

25 Just sayin'- Liquor before beer: Never fear. Beer before liquor: Never been sicker.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at March 25, 2014 08:44 AM (SY2Kh)

26 You will give us the blow-off stuff, but first you will....

Posted by: Mel Gibson at March 25, 2014 08:44 AM (kFxpe)

27 Take the day off, you horrible person. Take the month off. The level of right-wing hate on the Internet will drop and correctly-thinking persons will not be subjected to your Ewok-themed ramblings on Christina Hendricks's massive breasts or sex with Megyn Kelly's garbage.

Meanwhile our wise and multiracial President, Barack Obama, may go about His appointed work without your racist interference.

Posted by: Mary Cloggenstein from Brattleboro, Vermont at March 25, 2014 08:44 AM (eAUyf)

28 No!! Don't go to the doctor, Ace! He might amputate your foot.

Posted by: L, elle at March 25, 2014 08:44 AM (0xqKe)

29 Have you tried applying wolves to the situation?

Posted by: Waterhouse at March 25, 2014 08:45 AM (fOLwM)

30 Ace, plug it in, have you tried plugging it in?

Posted by: Seems legit at March 25, 2014 08:45 AM (A98Xu)

31 I blame global warming.

Posted by: AmishDude at March 25, 2014 08:45 AM (T0NGe)

32 Some abuse would do you a world of good: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQFKtI6gn9Y

Posted by: fluffy at March 25, 2014 08:45 AM (Ua6T/)

33 Don't let any greedy doctors amputate your hand so they can make $50,000. You need that hand for other things. Like sharpening your spear.

Feel better. A Hot Toddy is the thing for a cold/flu.


Posted by: West at March 25, 2014 08:45 AM (1Rgee)

34 As if she has ever suffered because of "racism". The ungrateful witch has done nothing her whole useless life but benefit from reverse racism, aka affirmative action.

Posted by: Citizen X at March 25, 2014 08:45 AM (7ObY1)

35 Go rub LauraW's ample hump. It has magical curative properties, particularly when freshly shorn and powdered. Follow that with a bath in Valu-Rite. When the rubber duckie dissolves, it's time to get out. You'll be back to paranormal in no time.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at March 25, 2014 08:45 AM (0HooB)

36

Ace, plug it in, have you tried plugging it in?

 

--

 

You're not talking about the toaster, I hope!

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at March 25, 2014 08:46 AM (osZ/6)

37 Liquor before beer: Never fear. Beer before liquor: Never been sicker. Beer before choom spins the room. Choom before beer, a good buzz is here!

Posted by: Citizen X at March 25, 2014 08:46 AM (7ObY1)

38 Just remember Ace, Obamacare is not the hill to fight on

Posted by: Mitch The Bitch McConnell at March 25, 2014 08:46 AM (kFxpe)

39 Oh, you can slack off, but you're NOT getting paid for a sick day, buster.

Posted by: Sphynx at March 25, 2014 08:46 AM (OZmbA)

40 You need to get out more dude.

Or go on a health-cation. In the Caribbean. For about two months.

You get sick waaay too often brother.

 

Posted by: Marcus T. SCOTUS Sucks Sweaty Donkey Balls at March 25, 2014 08:46 AM (GGCsk)

41 Could be worse, Ace. Could be worse.

Posted by: Zombie Oderus Urungus at March 25, 2014 08:47 AM (dUUWF)

42 Doesn't take one.

Posted by: Trained Ape at March 25, 2014 08:47 AM (ZPrif)

43 You ever see me sick? No. You're about twelve vacations behind this year...

Posted by: Barky O at March 25, 2014 08:47 AM (FcR7P)

44 Just remember: there is no situation so bad that    it cannot be helped by a little bit of magic.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at March 25, 2014 08:47 AM (osZ/6)

45 It's all that Val-u-Rite. Eat some fresh fruits and veggies once in a while, Ace. At least to soak up some of that Val-u-Rite.

Posted by: Citizen X at March 25, 2014 08:48 AM (7ObY1)

46 You need one of them amputating doctors to just cut a leg off. Improves circulation.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at March 25, 2014 08:48 AM (78GBd)

47
Does this mean we get a substitute for the day.????

**rubs hands devilishly together. . . .

Posted by: fixerupper at March 25, 2014 08:48 AM (nELVU)

48 Well, I've been feeling rundown for a while and today I just feel unwell. Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty, Little Ball of Fur Happy Kitty, Sleepy Kitty, Purr Purr Purr

Posted by: Penny at March 25, 2014 08:48 AM (aTXUx)

49 I told you last time, Ace. Stay out of the Ball Pit at the Burger King Playground and this won't happen so frequently.

Posted by: garrett at March 25, 2014 08:48 AM (dUUWF)

50 Doctor's note?

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at March 25, 2014 08:48 AM (IN7k+)

51 I am going old school. V8, chicken noodle soup and leeches.

Posted by: Odie1941 at March 25, 2014 08:49 AM (iS2i7)

52 Hey. Let's turn this into a "smart" gun blog for the day??

Whadya say? Whose with me!!

Crickets.

Posted by: Marcus T. SCOTUS Sucks Sweaty Donkey Balls at March 25, 2014 08:49 AM (GGCsk)

53 John Risen, the NYT Nat Sec reporter says the Obama administration is a specific threat to press freedom. At the same conference, a New Yorker writer, Jeffrey Toobin says that freedom of the press is a myth under the Constitution o why is Risen bitching. The administration's press counsel agrees, says the Constitution says there is no freedom of the press. Meanwhile, the Left in the Senate want to designate official "Journalists" by law and offer "protection" to them only. Yeah, nothing to see here. Move along.

Posted by: Daybrother at March 25, 2014 08:49 AM (wdHi5)

54 Are these lingering effects from a probe???

Posted by: Giorgio Tsoukalos at March 25, 2014 08:49 AM (kFxpe)

55 Clearly, we need to raise the gas tax and impose a carbon tax-scheme so Ace can feel better.

Posted by: L, elle at March 25, 2014 08:49 AM (0xqKe)

56

Your day off is authorized.

Posted by: control freak #98,323,415 at March 25, 2014 08:49 AM (nBE5A)

57 Ace - You can not go at this 16 hours a day and sustain. Can.Not.Do.It. It will suck the life force out of you. You've got to force yourself to regularly take some time off..., real time off. Away from it..., and that means mentally.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at March 25, 2014 08:49 AM (aDwsi)

58 ...and trepanning.  Don't forget the trepanning.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at March 25, 2014 08:49 AM (osZ/6)

59 Somebody explain the logic to me of what the fucking fuck Business Insider would hire a known hare-brained pervert and failed politician to do articles for them. I just don't fucking see it. Shock value? How about Charlie Manson? I mean what the fuck, why not?

Posted by: maddogg at March 25, 2014 08:49 AM (xWW96)

60 A trained ape could come up with a better excuse.

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 25, 2014 08:49 AM (ZshNr)

61 Dry non-productive cough?

Posted by: nip at March 25, 2014 08:49 AM (SxlUl)

62

Single malt scotch.  Or good vodka.  Fuck you Kettel One.

 

Does the trick every time!!

Posted by: prescient11 at March 25, 2014 08:50 AM (tVTLU)

63 >>Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty, Little Ball of Fur
Happy Kitty, Sleepy Kitty, Purr Purr Purr <<

Yes. Pet the pussy. You will feel better.

Posted by: Marcus T. SCOTUS Sucks Sweaty Donkey Balls at March 25, 2014 08:50 AM (GGCsk)

64 Dry, non-productive fap?

Posted by: Trained Ape at March 25, 2014 08:50 AM (ZPrif)

65 The universe is 13.75 billion years old.

Posted by: Sphynx at March 25, 2014 08:50 AM (OZmbA)

66 We need a Sick Day Mascot. I mean, we have a Slow News Day Gorn on retainer. How about a Sidebar Mascot to let people know Ace has a fever and is feeling fussy?

Posted by: garrett at March 25, 2014 08:50 AM (dUUWF)

67 Vic is right...brown liquor and maybe an enema or 3...clean you right out and you will feel like a new man. Well maybe.....

Posted by: IrishEd at March 25, 2014 08:51 AM (D0NZx)

68 Garlic, lots of garlic.

Posted by: HR at March 25, 2014 08:51 AM (ZKzrr)

69 Business Insider is another name for nepotism.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at March 25, 2014 08:51 AM (osZ/6)

70

Chicken soup, Ace, and plenty of it.

 

And a full physical workup might be a good thing, too.  You do seem to be awfully sick and lethargic for your age.  It might be a sign of incipient burnout, in which case a vacation from politics (and the HQ) would also be a recommendation.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at March 25, 2014 08:51 AM (zF6Iw)

71 54 Are these lingering effects from a probe??? We learned all there was to learn from the probes long ago. Now we just do it for kicks.

Posted by: The Greys at March 25, 2014 08:51 AM (7ObY1)

72 No need to apologize. Calling in sick is as much a part of the AoSHQ lifestyle as Value Rite Vodka and chronic masturbation.

Posted by: hairless mule at March 25, 2014 08:51 AM (EcY0f)

73 >>Business Insider would hire a known hare-brained pervert and failed politician to do articles<<


Because we're Wieneriffic!

Posted by: Wiener's Wiener at March 25, 2014 08:51 AM (OZmbA)

74 39 Oh, you can slack off, but you're NOT getting paid for a sick day, buster. Posted by: Sphynx at March 25, 2014 12:46 PM (OZmbA) --------------------- Well, he'll just have to take maternity leave.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at March 25, 2014 08:51 AM (dfYL9)

75 Access Denied.

Posted by: IPAB at March 25, 2014 08:52 AM (kFxpe)

76 Two Words, Ace: Cod Liver Oil.

Posted by: Joe Biden, MD at March 25, 2014 08:52 AM (dUUWF)

77 The Mooch Queen was born in 1964, the same year that the civil rights act was passed.  She was born in Chicago to wealthy parents.  She has never known anything but privilege.


She, like Obama, is a serial liar.

Posted by: Vic[/i] at March 25, 2014 08:52 AM (T2V/1)

78 Hey, Ace. You still smoking? Asking for a friend.

Posted by: m at March 25, 2014 08:52 AM (2AqeI)

79 Well, I've been feeling rundown for a while and today I just feel unwell. I'm going to put up some very light stuff (lighter even than my recent blow-off stuff) but pretty much I'm taking the day off. Posted by: Ace at 12:38 PM Why are you posting on this crap? There is important shit happening all over the country and the world. That's what you should be posting on.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 25, 2014 08:52 AM (da5Wo)

80 Best cure for a chest cold?

A really vigorous workout.  I mean you should be puking by the end.

/snickers

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at March 25, 2014 08:52 AM (qKrH5)

81 What a wimp...

Posted by: Pajama Boy at March 25, 2014 08:52 AM (FcR7P)

82 Gun Safety Tip - Protective Eyewear is Recommended http://tinyurl.com/lqcdnp4

Posted by: kbdabear at March 25, 2014 08:52 AM (aTXUx)

83

How about a Sidebar Mascot to let people know Ace has a fever and is feeling fussy?

 

--

 

I suggest a Rhesus monkey wearing a diaper.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at March 25, 2014 08:53 AM (osZ/6)

84 Vic is right...brown liquor and maybe an enema or 3...clean you right out and you will feel like a new man. Well maybe..... I do not, however, recommend a brown liquor enema.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at March 25, 2014 08:53 AM (SY2Kh)

85 Feel better, Ace.

** pushes homemade chicken noodle soup (even the noodles) through the USB port **

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, We Be Bossy at March 25, 2014 08:53 AM (kXoT0)

86 Hobo Liver has too much Vitamin A. You have to go easy on that stuff.

Posted by: garrett at March 25, 2014 08:53 AM (dUUWF)

87 I would tell you I have a procedure, but after years of the Ace of Spades lifestyle, you're most likely immune.

Posted by: Jack Kevorkian at March 25, 2014 08:54 AM (kFxpe)

88 If it's Ebola, you won't suffer long Ace.  So there's that.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 25, 2014 08:54 AM (8ZskC)

89 We need a Sick Day Mascot.

Dr Tinycat makes housecalls.
http://cheezburger.com/4493673984

Posted by: HR at March 25, 2014 08:55 AM (ZKzrr)

90 Get well soon, Ace.

We're in the best of hands. Clown hands that is:

"With respect to Mr. Romney's assertion that Russia is our number one geopolitical foe, the truth of the matter is that America has a whole lot of challenges," said the president.

"Russia is a regional power that is threatening some of its immediate neigbors, not out of strength, but out of weakness.

"Ukraine has been a country which Russia had enormous influence for decades, since the break-up of the Soviet Union, and we have considerable influence on our neighbors, we generally don't need to invade them in order to have a strong cooperative relationship with them. The fact that Russia felt compelled to go in militarily and laid bear these violations of internationl law indicates less influence not more.

"So my response then continues to be what I believe today, which is: Russia's actions are a problem. They don't pose the number one national security threat to the United States. I continue to be much more concerned when it comes to our security with the prospect of a nuclear weapon going off in Manhattan," said Obama.

Posted by: B at March 25, 2014 08:55 AM (VC56G)

91 I've been feeling rundown... ... Oh, Lord I feel like I'm dy-ing!

Posted by: Greg Allman at March 25, 2014 08:55 AM (dUUWF)

92 Ace, I speak from experience here: It's tempting to stay glued to the computer all night and day but it really drains you after a while. Sleep sleep sleep. Go out for a walk. Spend some time reading. Stay away from teh internetz for a day or two. Then, sleep some more. And take a real vacation at some point!

Posted by: joncelli at March 25, 2014 08:55 AM (RD7QR)

93 Gun Safety Tip - Protective Eyewear is Recommended

I think we need a Sick Day Open Thread Nurse Compliance Pic.

Posted by: Waterhouse at March 25, 2014 08:55 AM (fOLwM)

94

How about a Sidebar Mascot to let people know Ace has a fever and is feeling fussy?

--

 


I suggest a Rhesus monkey wearing a diaper.

 

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at March 25, 2014 12:53 PM (osZ/6)

 

No, that's the international symbol for Debbie Wasserman-Test.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at March 25, 2014 08:55 AM (zF6Iw)

95 Hey Ace, try a Navajo omelet. Sometimes it can't get worse.

Posted by: redenzo at March 25, 2014 08:55 AM (WCnJW)

96 Ace, I hope you feel better soon. I have to start working from home because my neck has been acting up for over a month. I can't sleep from it & meds aren't helping. I am probably going to make an appointment with pain clinic doctor for injections. I had one set in 2010 & they helped. The next year they did nothing, except make it worse for days. That's what is expected, but it didn't improve at all. I had a huge bruise on my neck & now I wonder if it all leaked out.

Posted by: Carol at March 25, 2014 08:55 AM (gjOCp)

97 I told you not to eat that yellow snow...cone

Posted by: Nanook Rubs It at March 25, 2014 08:56 AM (kFxpe)

98 Sunshine is the best medicine. Well, that, and a chocolate mousse.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at March 25, 2014 08:56 AM (IXrOn)

99 Avian flu symptoms include a profound sense of guilt for the way you Morons have used me over the years.

Posted by: The Chicken at March 25, 2014 08:56 AM (8ZskC)

100 You seem to be sick an awful lot. You should probably have the vet check that out. It might be distemper. Or mange.

Posted by: DangerGirl and her Sanity Prod (tm) at March 25, 2014 08:56 AM (jNNPU)

101

"With respect to Mr. Romney's assertion that Russia is our number one geopolitical foe, the truth of the matter is that America has a whole lot of challenges," said the president.

Campainerz got's to be campain'n

Posted by: BunkerinTheBurbs at March 25, 2014 08:57 AM (X3xYu)

102 Maybe it's just coincidence, but all this winter I've eaten elderberry jelly on my PB & J's or morning toast, and not one sniffle so far in a brutal winter. I know it's a faddish "thing" but it seems to have worked for me. And despite what you learned on Monty Python, elderberries are tasty. The fresh ones are rank, but dried or in jelly, they are just another berry. Best part of not getting sick all winter? Saving all those sick days for summertime goofing off!

Posted by: Citizen X at March 25, 2014 08:57 AM (7ObY1)

103 >>99 Avian flu symptoms include a profound sense of guilt for the way you Morons have used me over the years.
Posted by: The Chicken<<


Solidarity, bro.

Posted by: The Toaster at March 25, 2014 08:57 AM (OZmbA)

104 I have approximately 543 errands I need to run today and there is approximately 4 inches of snow on the ground. I'd better not do anything. Except heat up some soup. Someone mentioned chicken soup. I need it.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at March 25, 2014 08:57 AM (dfYL9)

105 from last thread: So is Ann Coulter's book, Treason, on the same subject. Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, We Be Bossy at March 25, 2014 Yup, read it. Good stuff. And Ace? if you have what I have getcher arse to bed. Turn on your fav show and hope for the best. I'd share my experiences with this current flu, but it'd be rate NC-17. not. good.

Posted by: tangonine at March 25, 2014 08:57 AM (x3YFz)

106 Feel better Ace

http://tinyurl.com/msp34ph

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at March 25, 2014 08:57 AM (sLR/I)

107 i'm taking the day off too ace you wanna come over and help me pre-mark election ballets?

Posted by: navycopjoe at March 25, 2014 08:57 AM (bDxDx)

108 That's what you get for rooting around in garbage

Posted by: Rubio's Garbage Cans at March 25, 2014 08:57 AM (kFxpe)

109 "Ukraine has been a country which Russia had enormous influence for decades, since the break-up of the Soviet Union, and we have considerable influence on our neighbors, we generally don't need to invade them in order to have a strong cooperative relationship with them. The fact that Russia felt compelled to go in militarily and laid bear these violations of internationl law indicates less influence not more.

----


I didnt think you could pack that much stoopid into a one paragraph..... but.... there it is.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 25, 2014 08:57 AM (nELVU)

110 Must be because you had the flu for Christmas..

Posted by: David Crosby at March 25, 2014 08:58 AM (aDwsi)

111

I think we need a Sick Day Open Thread Nurse Compliance Pic.

 


http://tinyurl.com/ml82mxh



 

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at March 25, 2014 08:58 AM (zF6Iw)

112 She has never known anything but privilege. Check out her Princeton thesis, if you can stand the bad grammar and misspellings. http://is.gd/lDPGgQ

Posted by: toby928© embraces tribalism at March 25, 2014 08:58 AM (QupBk)

113 FoxNews jumping on the e-cigs terror bandwagon. Claim is kids are gonna buy the liquid nicotine and drink it. Apparently there has been one death -- a suicide when somebody injected themselves with it. But the anti-smoking Left and the anti-drug Right seem to be uniting on this ban the e-cig bandwagon. Save the children!

Posted by: Trained Ape at March 25, 2014 08:58 AM (ZPrif)

114 and just read about the shooting on the destroyer in Virginia wtf is going on out there?

Posted by: navycopjoe at March 25, 2014 08:59 AM (bDxDx)

115 "We're in the best of hands. Clown hands that is:" It's just sad that this great country has such a small man running it.

Posted by: Seems legit at March 25, 2014 08:59 AM (A98Xu)

116 Maybe hit up the Sweat Lodge, Ace. That's always good for what ails you. If you aren't on the rag, of course. They won't let you in if you are. You probably didn't know that because you aren't an Indian, like me.

Posted by: Elizabeth Warren at March 25, 2014 08:59 AM (dUUWF)

117 I thought the Ace of Spades lifestyle allowed for unlimited sick days?



Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at March 25, 2014 08:59 AM (si68n)

118 And despite what you learned on Monty Python, elderberries are tasty.

Leinenkugels puts them in their Berry Weiss.

Posted by: HR at March 25, 2014 08:59 AM (ZKzrr)

119 Well, I've been feeling rundown for a while


Sometimes you just have to peel yourself off the floor and try to carry on.

Posted by: Rachel Corrie at March 25, 2014 08:59 AM (8ZskC)

120 *Pushes Percocet through the USB port.*  It may not make you feel any better, but you won't give a crap.

Posted by: flounder at March 25, 2014 08:59 AM (Kkt/i)

121 111 hello nurse!!

Posted by: navycopjoe at March 25, 2014 08:59 AM (bDxDx)

122 Yes, see a doctor, this current bug produces a nasty bronchitis.  Sick for two weeks...coughed like a 5 pack a day "one-lunger", but, two doctor visits, two antibiotics,  two inhalers, and lots of sleep, I am finally better.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, We Be Bossy at March 25, 2014 09:00 AM (kXoT0)

123 try a Navajo omelet Is that anything like a Shoshone sausage?

Posted by: toby928© embraces tribalism at March 25, 2014 09:00 AM (QupBk)

124 I think we need a Sick Day Open Thread Nurse Compliance Pic. Posted by: Waterhouse at March 25, 2014 12:55 PM (fOLwM) Feel better, Ace http://tinyurl.com/mrb8cnl

Posted by: kbdabear at March 25, 2014 09:00 AM (aTXUx)

125 If you cannot breathe, try a breathalyzer.

Posted by: Barack Obama at March 25, 2014 09:00 AM (Kkt/i)

126 Ooooooh. Another Hordesourced Medical post!

Posted by: rickb223 at March 25, 2014 09:01 AM (uVkIH)

127 Have a little brandy and don't sit in front of anyone named Rocco

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 25, 2014 09:01 AM (t3UFN)

128 Your problem is obvious, Ace. Too much blood in your Hadacol system: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6eKlZwGboE

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 25, 2014 09:01 AM (yDmQD)

129

Perhaps you should put on your footie pajamas, make up a hot chocolate, and talk      about....

 

 

Never mind, I can't go   through with it.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at March 25, 2014 09:01 AM (osZ/6)

130 Leinenkugels puts them in their Berry Weiss.
Posted by: HR



The cool dude on Storage Wars?

Posted by: Sphynx at March 25, 2014 09:01 AM (OZmbA)

131 think I got it from that (expletive) woman behind me on the airplane. Do people not teach their idiot kids to place their hands over their mouths when the cough? She spewed. I hate people that are self unaware.

Posted by: tangonine at March 25, 2014 09:02 AM (x3YFz)

132 DON'T TRIGGER ME, ACE.  JUST DON'T!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Dr. Mireille Miller-Young at March 25, 2014 09:02 AM (8ZskC)

133 "Blow-off stuff" Kind of like how Obama refers to his work other than golf?

Posted by: Seems legit at March 25, 2014 09:02 AM (A98Xu)

134 we have considerable influence on our neighbors, we generally don't need to
invade them in order to have a strong cooperative relationship with
them.

Interesting.  Sure we didn't invade Mexico anytime recently.  But we sure do send a lot of gov't agents there to participate in clandestine actions.  I'm pretty sure Mexico doesn't cooperate without some money to grease the wheels.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at March 25, 2014 09:02 AM (qKrH5)

135 "So my response then continues to be what I believe today, which is: Russia's actions are a problem. They don't pose the number one national security threat to the United States. I continue to be much more concerned when it comes to our security with the prospect of a nuclear weapon going off in Manhattan," said Obama. Well of course Obama wouldn't see Russia as the number one threat to the USA. It's the Tea Partiers who are the real problem.

Posted by: DangerGirl and her Sanity Prod (tm) at March 25, 2014 09:02 AM (jNNPU)

136 Two Words, Ace : Suppositories.

Posted by: Joe Biden, MD at March 25, 2014 09:02 AM (dUUWF)

137

111 hello nurse!!

 

I'm sure Anna can link to something better.  I can't.  Not while at work.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at March 25, 2014 09:03 AM (zF6Iw)

138 FoxNews jumping on the e-cigs terror bandwagon. Claim is kids are gonna buy the liquid nicotine and drink it. Apparently there has been one death -- a suicide when somebody injected themselves with it. ---------------- Similar to the "Mistletoe berries will kill you" meme that has been going around for years. I did the research. I could only find *one* case of death by Mistletoe. Some babe actually brewed up a tea of the stuff, and drank it. Trying to abort a baby, I think.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at March 25, 2014 09:03 AM (aDwsi)

139 The only remedy is drugs. Lots of drugs

Posted by: Colorado at March 25, 2014 09:03 AM (aTXUx)

140 I'll show you regional power. STORM KIEV NOW!!

Posted by: putin at March 25, 2014 09:03 AM (WCnJW)

141 Two blasts from a shotgun will clear that right up, Ace.

Posted by: Joey Choo Choo at March 25, 2014 09:03 AM (da5Wo)

142 Have you tried an increase in gasoline tax or a carbon tax scheme?

Posted by: Dr. Tom Friedman at March 25, 2014 09:03 AM (Kkt/i)

143 "Many decades ago, there were actually laws in America that allowed discrimination against black people like me, who are a minority in the United States. But over time, ordinary citizens decided that those laws were unfair." I can't decide what's more offensive: (1) That she says this stuff overseas. (2) That she has such a juvenile understanding of culture and politics. (3) That maybe she has a deeper understanding...nah...but she talks to them as if they are sheltered children. (4) That this idiot has double-Ivy credentials (actually, I like that it undermines the Ivys, never mind). (5) That she doesn't see that she benefited from exactly the same philosophy, just in reverse. (6) That she has no problem with the philosophy, as long as she's a beneficiary.

Posted by: AmishDude at March 25, 2014 09:03 AM (T0NGe)

144 the woman who gave me this virus probably voted for Obama.

Posted by: tangonine at March 25, 2014 09:04 AM (x3YFz)

145 Ace, you can try what I used to do back in the early 80s when I got sick.  Have a couple of beers and drink half a bottle of NyQuil.  You wake up without the flu but you tend to miss some things.  Like August.

Posted by: B at March 25, 2014 09:04 AM (VC56G)

146 Avian flu symptoms include a profound sense of guilt for the way you Morons have used me over the years. Posted by: The Chicken I wonder if he's been dining at the kebab place a lot?

Posted by: The Goat at March 25, 2014 09:04 AM (l3vZN)

147 Chicken soup enema followed by a brown liquor enema followed by a Navajo omelet enema. Seriously, try it.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at March 25, 2014 09:04 AM (+lsX1)

148 Check out her Princeton thesis, if you can stand the bad grammar and misspellings. http://is.gd/lDPGgQ Geez Louise. Racist much, Mooch?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at March 25, 2014 09:04 AM (0HooB)

149 You just know the sub-loggers are chomping at the bit to throw up some obscure subject threads. Any second now ...

Posted by: toby928© embraces tribalism at March 25, 2014 09:04 AM (QupBk)

150 Maybe it's Ebola.

Posted by: Gingy @GingyNorth at March 25, 2014 09:04 AM (N/cFh)

151 To me, e-cigs are so . . . . Hipster-ish

Posted by: Sphynx at March 25, 2014 09:04 AM (OZmbA)

152 Have you heard of my fabulous product? Sign up now and we'll throw in a free bottle of asprin* *must pay s & h

Posted by: Obamacarebot 3000 at March 25, 2014 09:04 AM (hFL/3)

153 Kind of like how Obama refers to his work other than golf? After this long, he's not going for the golf. He should have got better by now.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 25, 2014 09:05 AM (uVkIH)

154 Anceient Alien Theorist hypothesize that the the Slack-Ass Tribe of Pre-Mesopotamian Gofuckistan were actually a clan of hairy, wild-eyed goat fuckers with a pension for laziness and alcoholism.

Posted by: dananjcon Tsoukalos at March 25, 2014 09:05 AM (NpXoL)

155 I'm sure Anna can link to something better. I can't. Not while at work.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at March 25, 2014 01:03 PM (zF6Iw)


-----


I dunno....  kbdabear gets my vote @124

Posted by: fixerupper at March 25, 2014 09:05 AM (nELVU)

156 131 Do people not teach their idiot kids to place their hands over their mouths when the cough? no they don't I've have little bastards from allover the world sneeze on me in the car so I say screw it, i'll drive sick and spread the disease to everyone and hope they take it back to their home country the next global outbreak will be my fault

Posted by: navycopjoe at March 25, 2014 09:05 AM (bDxDx)

157 It's not just you, bro. There's definitely some weird viruses going around this season. I haven't had a cold for six years, but this year I've had three... and now some stupid post-viral thing where I'm tired and run-down but not sick. It seems to be going around.


Posted by: Mega, AoS Commenter of the Millennium at March 25, 2014 09:06 AM (hHFOx)

158 Hey Ace, have you been humped by any strange monkeys lately? You could have simian HIV. 

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 25, 2014 09:06 AM (8ZskC)

159 66 We need a Sick Day Mascot.

I mean, we have a Slow News Day Gorn on retainer.

How about a Sidebar Mascot to let people know Ace has a fever and is feeling fussy?

Posted by: garrett at March 25, 2014 12:50 PM (dUUWF)


How about this (SFW)?
http://preview.tinyurl.com/k2appnj


Oh you said, "fussy."

Posted by: flounder at March 25, 2014 09:06 AM (Kkt/i)

160 77 The Mooch Queen was born in 1964, the same year that the civil rights act was passed. She was born in Chicago to wealthy parents. She has never known anything but privilege. I think "wealthy" is a bit of a stretch. Certainly her father was well-connected in the Chicago machine. She certainly didn't have the privileges Barack did.

Posted by: AmishDude at March 25, 2014 09:06 AM (T0NGe)

161 Ace,

I hope you feel better soon.


Jim Henson.  Don't do what he did.  Don't ignore it.  Get some rest.

If you run a fever, see a doctor asap.


Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at March 25, 2014 09:06 AM (V70Uh)

162

This is a great place.

 

One of the few places that is not swimming in ignorance

 

Wish I could hang out here more

Posted by: The Obvious Sock at March 25, 2014 09:06 AM (W6iIX)

163 comrade ace, Sleep, chicken soup, sleep, herbal tea with honey, sleep, more chicken soup, more tea, 2 shots of rye, and more sleepÂ…. does a body good.

Posted by: angel with a sword at March 25, 2014 09:06 AM (hpgw1)

164 115 It's just sad that this great country has such a small man running it. Posted by: Seems legit at March 25, 2014 12:59 PM (A98Xu) ----------------------- Yes. But maybe we aren't such a great country anymore. Alexis De Tocqueville: "America is a great country because it is good. When it ceases to be good, it will cease to be great." I just don't know.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at March 25, 2014 09:07 AM (dfYL9)

165 78 Hey, Ace. You still smoking?
Asking for a friend.

Posted by: m at March 25, 2014 12:52 PM (2AqeI)


Why yes, he is.

Posted by: NHS at March 25, 2014 09:08 AM (Kkt/i)

166 159 Hey Ace, have you been humped by any strange monkeys lately? You could have simian HIV. Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 25, 2014 01:06 PM (8ZskC) --- I m pretty sure he knows all about the monkey sex gel by now.

Posted by: Gingy @GingyNorth at March 25, 2014 09:08 AM (N/cFh)

167 Not Chicken Soup. Matzo Ball Soup. It's got the blood of Palestinian Babies, AND electrolytes!

Posted by: garrett at March 25, 2014 09:08 AM (dUUWF)

168 think I got it from that (expletive) woman behind me on the airplane.   Posted by: tangonine at March 25, 2014 01:02 PM (x3YFz)

I got mine from this bitch at work whose daughter is apparently the only girl being married in the Northern hemisphere this June.  Mama can't take any days off because she has to save them in case Lil Darling needs her to do this or that in the week or two before the wedding.  So she came to work and coughed all over everything and dayum, we all got sick.  I am so glad that I only have 8 more days in that worker's paradise.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, We Be Bossy at March 25, 2014 09:08 AM (kXoT0)

169 34 As if she has ever suffered because of "racism". I will acknowledge that Barack probably suffered racism -- from native Indonesians and native Hawaiians. I'm sure he's numb to being called "haole". But what is Michelle Obama if she isn't black and therefore a victim? For that matter, what is Hillary Clinton if she isn't female?

Posted by: AmishDude at March 25, 2014 09:08 AM (T0NGe)

170 Oh you said, "fussy." With an "F".

Posted by: rickb223 at March 25, 2014 09:09 AM (uVkIH)

171 i demand a refund!

Posted by: redc1c4 at March 25, 2014 09:09 AM (q+fqH)

172

I was sick last week.  I think it had something to do with being endumpened by the beauty and responding by spending every non-working minute of the next two weeks drunker than a Russian on shore leave.

 

I'm mature that way.

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at March 25, 2014 09:09 AM (JtwS4)

173 Dammit son, unless your arm has been cut off or you're running a fever of 115, you're going to school! Now get up outta that bed!

Posted by: Ace's mom at March 25, 2014 09:09 AM (jNNPU)

174 Guns N Sideboob Open Thread Compliance Pic http://www.pinterest.com/pin/309341068125902184/

Posted by: Colorado at March 25, 2014 09:09 AM (aTXUx)

175 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at March 25, 2014 09:09 AM (PYAXX)

176 You did file that 27b/6 with personnel, right? In triplicate?

Posted by: HAL at March 25, 2014 09:10 AM (AIC5Z)

177 To me, e-cigs are so . . . . Hipster-ish

I think hipsters like Lucky Strikes and Parliaments, or wacky looking pipes with fragrant tobacco.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at March 25, 2014 09:10 AM (qKrH5)

178 Feel better Ace!

Don't forget to tell the government doctor exactly where it hurts so all of your files can be updated.

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at March 25, 2014 09:10 AM (AC0lD)

179 Yeah, if Ace is in NYC at least he has access to all sorts of great take-out food. Between that and living in the age of Netflix, being sick isn't all that bad.

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 25, 2014 09:10 AM (ZshNr)

180 "Is that anything like a Shoshone sausage?" No, you're thinking about a Kickapoo Korndog.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at March 25, 2014 09:10 AM (gOoFi)

181 Just do a google news search for "liquid nicotine". Somebody paid for saturation coverage in just the past couple days. NYT: Lethal Liquid Nicotine USA Today: Just a teaspoon could kill Forbes: The Real Dangers of Liquid Nicotine HuffP: Liquid Nicotine Could Be Deadly NewsOK (oklahome): Selling Poison by the Barrel WebMD: Nicotine "E-Liquids" a Health Threat: Experts Examiner.com: Teaspon of liquid nicotine can kill a child, poisonings soar KRMG: Just a teaspon of "e-juice" can kill Gizmodo: E-cig Nicotine Juice is Poisoning Children and on and on and on From somebody who worked in PR -- saturation coverage like that doesn't happen by accident. That's a coordinated campaign. A PR agency was hired to get that story place nationally, regionally, locally -- in TV, print, web -- in general interest, tech news, and lifestyle/women's news.

Posted by: Trained Ape at March 25, 2014 09:10 AM (ZPrif)

182 I will acknowledge that Barack probably suffered racism -- from native Indonesians and native Hawaiians. I'm sure he's numb to being called "haole". You would be wrong there. Obama looked black and would not have been a haole target. Period. Also, He went to a school where that would not have been tolerated.

Posted by: Seems legit at March 25, 2014 09:10 AM (A98Xu)

183 But what is Michelle Obama if she isn't black and therefore a victim? For that matter, what is Hillary Clinton if she isn't female?


Wait. Hillary Clinton is female?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 25, 2014 09:10 AM (8ZskC)

184 Active shooter in Dallas' Victory Park. http://www.myfoxdfw.com/story/25067583/active-shooter-prompts-victory-park-evacuations Any Dallas area Morons- beware and be safe.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at March 25, 2014 09:10 AM (PYAXX)

185 112  Check out her Princeton thesis, if you can stand the bad grammar and misspellings. http://is.gd/lDPGgQ

Posted by: toby928© embraces tribalism at March 25, 2014 12:58 PM (QupBk)


Yeah, I've read it before.   She is dumber than Chicago dirt.  If she had not been black she would have never made it to college, much less graduated.

Posted by: Vic[/i] at March 25, 2014 09:10 AM (T2V/1)

186 I understand Frontline has just been approved for Ewoks. Its alot easier than flea baths.

Posted by: Iblis at March 25, 2014 09:11 AM (zCnVx)

187 Active shooter in Dallas' Victory Park. That shouldn't last long.

Posted by: garrett at March 25, 2014 09:12 AM (dUUWF)

188 I hereby most humbly submit that we use this thread as a time for quiet meditation on the magnificence of God's creation. By which, of course, I mean hotassery. I'll start. http://bit.ly/1jrazbN

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at March 25, 2014 09:12 AM (VtjlW)

189

So Russia took over part of the Ukraine because they are weak?

 

Are we really at the "4 legs good 2 legs better" on the barn wall?

Posted by: The Obvious Sock at March 25, 2014 09:12 AM (W6iIX)

190 Posted by: AmishDude at March 25, 2014 01:08 PM (T0NGe) In Obama's case it would be "Asshaole", no?

Posted by: Hrothgar at March 25, 2014 09:13 AM (o3MSL)

191 By which, of course, I mean hotassery. Yess... vacuum way down in the crack ... way down.

Posted by: toby928© embraces tribalism at March 25, 2014 09:13 AM (QupBk)

192 Mooch's so-called "thesis" (and it really deserves those quotation marks) is proof positive of the dumbing down of America. And of the uselessness of America's university system. Because no white student could turn in that opiece of crap without getting laughed off of campus.

Posted by: Citizen X at March 25, 2014 09:13 AM (7ObY1)

193 You would be wrong there. Obama looked black and would not have been a haole target. Period. Also, He went to a school where that would not have been tolerated.

Posted by: Seems legit at March 25, 2014 01:10 PM (A98Xu)


He was high on weed the whole time.  He and his friends would fog up a station wagon and just sit around stoned in the smoke.  He called it the Choom Wagon.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, We Be Bossy at March 25, 2014 09:13 AM (kXoT0)

194 That shouldn't last long. Posted by: garrett at March 25, 2014 01:12 PM (dUUWF) That's the Hipster area- probably fewer guns-per-capita than any other place in the Metroplex. Oh, and the Cops gave the "cower in fear" order.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at March 25, 2014 09:14 AM (PYAXX)

195 By which, of course, I mean hotassery. I'll start. I nearly break my nose every time you post that. Thank you.

Posted by: garrett at March 25, 2014 09:14 AM (dUUWF)

196

KRMG: Just a teaspon of "e-juice" can kill

 

You're not supposed to drink it, dumbasses.

Posted by: Insomniac at March 25, 2014 09:14 AM (DrWcr)

197 TLDR

Posted by: Guy who says "TLDR" at March 25, 2014 09:14 AM (DErq5)

198 I hereby most humbly submit that we use this thread as a time for quiet meditation on the magnificence of God's creation.


Sublime.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 25, 2014 09:14 AM (8ZskC)

199 Well of course Obama wouldn't see Russia as the number one threat to the USA. It's the Tea Partiers who are the real problem.

Posted by: DangerGirl and her Sanity Prod (tm) at March 25, 2014 01:02 PM (jNNPU)


Romney was stuck in the '80s.  Barack Obama is the number one threat to the USA.

Posted by: flounder at March 25, 2014 09:14 AM (Kkt/i)

200 183 He went to a school where that would not have been tolerated. are you kidding? they had kill whitey day back then at Punahou and everyone knew he was half white and its even worse for blacks and the racism is still strong here rich kids are the worst racists

Posted by: navycopjoe at March 25, 2014 09:14 AM (bDxDx)

201 175 Guns N Sideboob Open Thread Compliance Pic

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/309341068125902184/

Posted by: Colorado at March 25, 2014 01:09 PM (aTXUx)


Somebody needs to teach her the proper stance for shooting.

Posted by: joncelli at March 25, 2014 09:14 AM (RD7QR)

202 "He was high on weed the whole time. He and his friends would fog up a station wagon and just sit around stoned in the smoke. He called it the Choom Wagon." This is true.

Posted by: Seems legit at March 25, 2014 09:15 AM (A98Xu)

203 Feel better soon, Ace.


We'll try to maintain the usual level of disorder without you.

Posted by: cthulhu at March 25, 2014 09:15 AM (cc39m)

204 America has a whole lot of challenges," said the president. Isn't that like Lance Armstrong saying The Tour has a doping problem?

Posted by: t-bird at March 25, 2014 09:15 AM (FcR7P)

205 Yeah, I've read it before. She is dumber than Chicago dirt. If she had not been black she would have never made it to college, much less graduated. If I'd been her prof, I'da flunked that sorry excuse of a paper. What a crock of shit. But I guess that's what a good Princeton edumacashun gets you these days.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at March 25, 2014 09:15 AM (0HooB)

206 By which, of course, I mean hotassery. I'll start. http://bit.ly/1jrazbN Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at March 25, 2014 01:12 PM (VtjlW) An excellent opening pic. Allow me....http://tinyurl.com/l98nm36

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 25, 2014 09:15 AM (da5Wo)

207 I suggest a vacation to the C. Hendricks mountain range. Bring oxygen for the heights you will climb.

More seriously, get and stay healthy.  of Spades does not have the same jenny say qua (or however they say it French) of Aces of Spades.

Posted by: Penfold at March 25, 2014 09:16 AM (Fbt5B)

208 Somebody needs to teach her the proper stance for shooting.

Posted by: joncelli at March 25, 2014 01:14 PM (RD7QR)

 

I think her stance looks just fine.

Posted by: Insomniac at March 25, 2014 09:16 AM (DrWcr)

209 Somebody needs to teach her the proper stance for shooting. It's working for me IYKWIMAITYD.

Posted by: toby928© embraces tribalism at March 25, 2014 09:16 AM (QupBk)

210 So Russia took over part of the Ukraine because they are weak?

That's the line Obama's been pushing for a while now.

Easy response:  If Russia is so weak, why can't the US stop them?

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at March 25, 2014 09:16 AM (qKrH5)

211 178 To me, e-cigs are so . . . . Hipster-ish I think you might be thinking of "Vape-ing." Not the same thing. Vaping is the hipsterish fad. E-cigs are mostly used by folks trying to quit, or those looking for something they can use in airports and bars and stuff. I have one, it's nice for camping trips (I can even charge it with my crank charger) and for sneaking a smoke in bars and stuff.

Posted by: Citizen X at March 25, 2014 09:16 AM (7ObY1)

212 Could someone go to the grocery store for me? It's waaaay too cold and windy outside and I'm sick of the grocery store. Here, here's my debit card....get beer.

Posted by: Tami [/i][/b][/u][/s] at March 25, 2014 09:16 AM (bCEmE)

213 KRMG: Just a teaspon of "e-juice" can kill You're not supposed to drink it, dumbasses. Oh, yes, that's the new attack on e-cigs. People were wising up to the "oh, they *look* like cigarettes!" stupidity. So now the liquid nicotine is a "health hazard" if you *drink it.* By this same logic, we should ban every cleaning product known to man.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at March 25, 2014 09:16 AM (PYAXX)

214 Posted by: navycopjoe at March 25, 2014 01:14 PM (bDxDx) No, they didn't, that's public schools and it did happen. Before you go on, I taught at Punahou and my kids graduated from there. I know.

Posted by: Seems legit at March 25, 2014 09:16 AM (A98Xu)

215 112 Check out her Princeton thesis, if you can stand the bad grammar and misspellings. http://is.gd/lDPGgQ

Posted by: toby928© embraces tribalism at March 25, 2014 12:58 PM (QupBk)

Yeah, I've read it before. She is dumber than Chicago dirt. If she had not been black she would have never made it to college, much less graduated.

Posted by: Vic at March 25, 2014 01:10 PM (T2V/1)


Her Dad was a stalwart in Chicago machine politics and her parents were friends with the Jarretts, wealthy Chicago slum lords.  All of this was used to get her an Ivy League "education".   She then passed the bar Chicago style and without much fuss surrendered her law license when it became clear she had no business being an attorney.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, We Be Bossy at March 25, 2014 09:16 AM (kXoT0)

216 cthulhu at March 25, 2014 01:15 PM (cc39m) wth? the elder one is awake?

Posted by: navycopjoe at March 25, 2014 09:16 AM (bDxDx)

217

"Is that anything like a Shoshone sausage?"



No, you're thinking about a Kickapoo Korndog.

 

No, you're both thinking about a Hopi Hot Pocket.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at March 25, 2014 09:17 AM (zF6Iw)

218 If I'd been her prof, I'da flunked that sorry excuse of a paper. What a crock of shit. I'd bet dollars to donuts the prof didn't want to be accused of being rayciss.

Posted by: Citizen X at March 25, 2014 09:17 AM (7ObY1)

219 Posted by: navycopjoe at March 25, 2014 01:14 PM (bDxDx) Brilliant Chinese guy that worked for me and was born and grew up in Hawaii said it was the most racist place he'd ever been!

Posted by: Hrothgar at March 25, 2014 09:17 AM (o3MSL)

220

Vaping is the hipsterish fad. E-cigs are mostly used by folks trying to quit, or those looking for something they can use in airports and bars and stuff.

 

I vape, and believe me, I'm no hipster.

Posted by: Insomniac at March 25, 2014 09:17 AM (DrWcr)

221 So Russia took over part of the Ukraine because they are weak?


Then we'd better set up a Marshall Plan for Russia before it takes the rest of Europe.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 25, 2014 09:18 AM (8ZskC)

222 Obligatory question: You're not in Saskatoon, right?

Posted by: Mike Hammer at March 25, 2014 09:18 AM (aDwsi)

223 Allow me....http://tinyurl.com/l98nm36

*Looks at body* ... nice.
*Looks at face*  ... ? dude in a wig?

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at March 25, 2014 09:18 AM (qKrH5)

224 I vape, and believe me, I'm no hipster. Oh, just own the hipsterism, my sleepless amigo!

Posted by: Citizen X at March 25, 2014 09:18 AM (7ObY1)

225 THE HAGUE, Netherlands (AP) — With no sign of Russia abandoning the Crimean Peninsula, President Barack Obama said Tuesday he's concerned that Moscow will move deeper into Ukraine and warned Russian President Vladimir Putin that that would be a bad choice.



Vlad is shaking in his boots.



"We're not recognizing what is happening in Crimea," Obama said at his first news conference since Russia moved to annex Crimea after a referendum 10 days ago.



So does that mean that the thousands of Russian troops in Ukraine really aren't there?

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 25, 2014 09:18 AM (1Jaio)

226 Oh, just own the hipsterism, my sleepless amigo!

Posted by: Citizen X at March 25, 2014 01:18 PM (7ObY1)

 

Does this mean I have to start wearing tight pants, grow an ironic beard, and drink PBR?

Posted by: Insomniac at March 25, 2014 09:19 AM (DrWcr)

227 189 I hereby most humbly submit that we use this thread as a time for quiet meditation on the magnificence of God's creation. By which, of course, I mean hotassery. Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at March 25, 2014 01:12 PM (VtjlW) I see yours and raise you this http://www.pinterest.com/pin/309341068126402363/

Posted by: Colorado at March 25, 2014 09:19 AM (aTXUx)

228 If Russia is so weak, why can't the US stop them? Only the strong can act with true weakness!

Posted by: t-bird at March 25, 2014 09:19 AM (FcR7P)

229 *Looks at body* ... nice.
*Looks at face* ... ? dude in a wig?

Posted by: bonhomme at March 25, 2014 01:18 PM (qKrH5)


Face?

Posted by: Typical Moron at March 25, 2014 09:19 AM (RD7QR)

230 215 Before you go on, I taught at Punahou and my kids graduated from there. I know. I live near Punahou and know some of these little punks that go there I also take shame in almost sending my brat there next year she'll stay at sacred hearts where the nuns can beat her

Posted by: navycopjoe at March 25, 2014 09:20 AM (bDxDx)

231 We're not recognizing what is happening in Crimea," Obama said Yeah, no shit!

Posted by: t-bird at March 25, 2014 09:20 AM (FcR7P)

232 Allow me....http://tinyurl.com/l98nm36

 

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 25, 2014 01:15 PM (da5Wo)

 

I've got the same leather bag.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at March 25, 2014 09:21 AM (zF6Iw)

233 In the Daily Mail today it seems God's got a backup plan in case humans don't work out Kepler 62 f

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at March 25, 2014 09:21 AM (Ysbcl)

234 We're not recognizing what is happening in Crimea," Obama said If AllenG were in the Press Corps: "Mr. President, are you saying you've never even glanced at a history book?"

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at March 25, 2014 09:21 AM (PYAXX)

235 Ace, I recommend several visits per day to thechive.  The "articles" there will make you right as rain in no time.

Posted by: Muad'dib at March 25, 2014 09:21 AM (sjdRT)

236 1300 calls to poison centers for e-cigs last year. Of course, there were 20k accidental poisonings from toothpaste last year as well, and 11k from pens (kids drinking the ink I assume). Some debunking of the NYT: Read The New York Times’ new report, “Selling a Poison by the Barrel: Liquid Nicotine for E-Cigarettes,” and you’ll learn some shocking things about “e-liquid,” the oily stuff used to create the vapor in electronic cigarettes. (Or, as the Times describes it: a “dangerous new form of a powerful stimulant” that’s “for sale by the vial, the gallon and even the barrel.”) For example, did you know that e-liquids “are powerful neurotoxins,” or that a “teaspoon of even highly diluted e-liquid can kill a small child”? ... “OK,” you might be saying, “but toothpaste still isn’t as dangerous – liquid nicotine can kill people, even in small doses! Toothpaste can’t.” And that’s true. E-liquid is extremely dangerous if ingested or absorbed through the skin. But, despite the scary headline, not a single person has died from accidental liquid nicotine poisoning. No, not even any children. Only one person has knowingly died from liquid nicotine poisoning – and it was “a suicide by an adult,” reports the Times. Read more: http://www.digitaltrends.com/opinion/ e-liquid-e-cigarettes-risks-dangers-toothpaste-new-york-times/#ixzz2wznns7vc

Posted by: Trained Ape at March 25, 2014 09:21 AM (ZPrif)

237 I'd bet dollars to donuts the prof didn't want to be accused of being rayciss. No shit. *sigh* I miss the old days when colleges actually taught something useful.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at March 25, 2014 09:21 AM (0HooB)

238

"We're not recognizing what is happening in Crimea," Obama said

 

Great.  Like a kid who sticks his fingers in his ears and says "LA LA LA LA!  I CAN'T HEAR YOU! LA LA LA LA LA!"

Posted by: Insomniac at March 25, 2014 09:21 AM (DrWcr)

239 "We're not recognizing what is happening in Crimea," Obama said at his
first news conference since Russia moved to annex Crimea after a
referendum 10 days ago.


"There are no Russian tanks in Simferopol."

-- Baghdad Barack.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 25, 2014 09:22 AM (8ZskC)

240 I see yours and raise you this

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/309341068126402363/

Posted by: Colorado at March 25, 2014 01:19 PM (aTXUx)


-----


Oh .... please ... please .... PLEASE tell me thats the thingy that goes up against my face.....

Posted by: fixerupper at March 25, 2014 09:22 AM (nELVU)

241 227 Oh, just own the hipsterism, my sleepless amigo!
Posted by: Citizen X at March 25, 2014 01:18 PM (7ObY1)

Does this mean I have to start wearing tight pants, grow an ironic beard, and drink PBR?

Posted by: Insomniac at March 25, 2014 01:19 PM (DrWcr)


Oh, and you have to try to talk like a black guy, because that will distract people from your blinding paleness.

Posted by: joncelli at March 25, 2014 09:22 AM (RD7QR)

242 Navycopjoe, they did not have a beat hoale day at Punahou, at the time Obama went there, it was majority white. It does not make sense to beat up yourself. Now it is approximately 80% asian and very, very liberal. Many excellent teachers though.

Posted by: Seems legit at March 25, 2014 09:22 AM (A98Xu)

243 Brilliant Chinese guy that worked for me and was born and grew up in Hawaii said it was the most racist place he'd ever been! Posted by: Hrothgar at March 25, 2014 01:17 PM (o3MSL) ____________________ Ever been to Japan?

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 25, 2014 09:23 AM (32Ze2)

244 I hereby most humbly submit that we use this thread as a time for quiet meditation on the magnificence of God's creation. By which, of course, I mean hotassery. Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at March 25, 2014 01:12 PM (VtjlW) Seconded .... http://www.pinterest.com/pin/309341068125605495/

Posted by: kbdabear at March 25, 2014 09:23 AM (aTXUx)

245 This shit is just sad. Man is breaking up 'chemtrails' in the sky with two household oscillating fans and vinegar. http://tinyurl.com/mx6jqlu

Posted by: RWC at March 25, 2014 09:23 AM (fWAjv)

246 E-cigs are mostly used by folks trying to quit, or those looking for something they can use in airports and bars and stuff.

If you use them in the Indianapolis Airport outside the designated smoking area, you'll get the same fine you'll get for lighting up a tobacco cig outside the designated smoking area.  Which is ridiculous, but what about commercial passenger transport isn't these days?

(I work on airport property, and there's supposed to be no smoking outside of the designated area, and every morning on my way into work I walk by half a dozen Obamavoters from the third floor smoking in front of the only entrance by the No Smoking sign because they're too stupid/lazy to waddle 30 yds to the smoking area with the ashtrays, and you can't see the concrete for the all the butts on the ground.  I don't care if other people want to smoke, and I think most of the laws banning smoking in privately owned businesses are bullshit, but for fuck's sake, if we're going to have a law fucking enforce it.)

Posted by: HR at March 25, 2014 09:24 AM (ZKzrr)

247 By which, of course, I mean hotassery.  I'll start.  http://bit.ly/1jrazbN

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at March 25, 2014 01:12 PM (VtjlW)

Objection!  I once received that pic from AtC as a consolation after a shitty day.  In fact, it was last month.

::: thumbs through dog earned copy of "Code of Moron Regulations"  :::

And it clearly says right here on page 389, Section 2391, sub-paragraph(B)(5)(a) that "No hotassery shall be duplicated by the same Moron within a 180-day period."

::: shifty eyes ::::

Jus' sayin' 

Posted by: Sean Bannion [/i][/s][/u][/b] at March 25, 2014 09:24 AM (JpC1K)

248
If you need some easy blog fodder, you can always poach some content from Hot Air.

Have some Wicket Kibble and a nap, brother. Get well.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 25, 2014 09:24 AM (TIIx5)

249 Oh, and I hate auto-correct.

That is all.

Posted by: Sean Bannion [/i][/s][/u][/b] at March 25, 2014 09:24 AM (JpC1K)

250 Oh, and you have to try to talk like a black guy, because that will distract people from your blinding paleness.

Posted by: joncelli at March 25, 2014 01:22 PM (RD7QR)

 

It's going to take a lot more than that!

Posted by: Insomniac at March 25, 2014 09:24 AM (DrWcr)

251 Rush just played a clip of SCOAMF saying (in response to is Russia our greatest threat to national security and was Romney right): Russia is nothing but a regional power taking over some territory that use to belong to them out of a position of weakness. He also said his main concern was a "nuclear bomb going off in Manhatten". So in his worldview, Russia, a regional bully, Iran a small, insignificant country, The Muslim Brotherhood and the Palestinians, kindred spirit freedom fighters, and the real enemies of the US are the people within who disagree with him. It also reminded me of the media's attitude towards the Gosnell House of Horrors--local story, not worthy of any reporting or concern. I hate these people!

Posted by: runningrn at March 25, 2014 09:25 AM (9vZOK)

252 Insomniac, my first thought too. Second thought is the hippie who got eaten alive on Futurama. "This isn't happening".

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at March 25, 2014 09:25 AM (Ysbcl)

253 243 It does not make sense to beat up yourself. Now it is approximately 80% asian and very, very liberal. Many excellent teachers though you know, these are extremely valid points and you do have first hand knowledge i'll surrender to your logic

Posted by: navycopjoe at March 25, 2014 09:25 AM (bDxDx)

254 http://tinyurl.com/mx6jqlu Posted by: RWC at March 25, 2014 01:23 PM (fWAjv) Yikes, is he from Florida?

Posted by: Seems legit at March 25, 2014 09:25 AM (A98Xu)

255 are you kidding? they had kill whitey day back then at Punahou and everyone knew he was half white and its even worse for blacks and the racism is still strong here rich kids are the worst racists Posted by: navycopjoe at March 25, 2014 01:14 PM (bDxDx) I heard the same thing from a person who graduated from Punahou a year before Hussein.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 25, 2014 09:25 AM (yDmQD)

256 If Hotassery is the Theme : http://uk-mtb.com/index.php?topic=33.0

Posted by: garrett at March 25, 2014 09:25 AM (dUUWF)

257 From somebody who worked in PR -- saturation coverage like that doesn't happen by accident. That's a coordinated campaign. Between the tobacco and pharmaceutical (smoking cessation patches, gum, pills) industries, there's a lot of money on the line. Not to mention the prospect of lost tobacco tax revenue.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at March 25, 2014 09:25 AM (SY2Kh)

258
Seconded ....

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/309341068125605495/


Posted by: kbdabear at March 25, 2014 01:23 PM (aTXUx)

 

Ride me, cowgirl!

Posted by: Insomniac at March 25, 2014 09:25 AM (DrWcr)

259 i'll surrender to your logic Posted by: navycopjoe at March 25, 2014 01:25 PM (bDxDx) Are you *sure* you're a Democrat?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at March 25, 2014 09:26 AM (PYAXX)

260 It occurred to me recently that I could probably write a guest column for Ace and few people would realize it wasn't him.

Posted by: SFGoth at March 25, 2014 09:26 AM (CyDmM)

261 Fell better soon, Ace!

Posted by: Lizzy at March 25, 2014 09:26 AM (udjuE)

262 Posted by: kbdabear at March 25, 2014 01:23 PM (aTXUx) Dare I say that those look mighty like assless chaps to me?

Posted by: Hrothgar at March 25, 2014 09:26 AM (o3MSL)

263 255 i'll surrender to your logic which also means first round is on me unless you're drinking longboard beer I refuse to pay for strained cat piss

Posted by: navycopjoe at March 25, 2014 09:26 AM (bDxDx)

264 He also said his main concern was a "nuclear bomb going off in Manhattan". Can we get him on record saying he's against it?

Posted by: t-bird at March 25, 2014 09:26 AM (FcR7P)

265 234 In the Daily Mail today it seems God's got a backup plan in case humans don't work out

Kepler 62 f

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at March 25, 2014 01:21 PM (Ysbcl)


1.1 g is very, very good. Best so far, and it's in the goldilocks zone, but the dwarf star is a problem.

Posted by: joncelli at March 25, 2014 09:26 AM (RD7QR)

266 This shit is just sad.  Man is breaking up 'chemtrails' in the sky with two household oscillating fans and vinegar.  http://tinyurl.com/mx6jqlu  Posted by: RWC at March 25, 2014 01:23 PM (fWAjv)

Where is he from?

Anyone???  Anyone???

That's right.

Florida.

Posted by: Sean Bannion [/i][/s][/u][/b] at March 25, 2014 09:26 AM (JpC1K)

267 I've got the same leather bag. Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at March 25, 2014 01:21 PM (zF6Iw) ------------------- And the shoes to match? That's important ya know.....

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 25, 2014 09:26 AM (32Ze2)

268 >>The Mooch Queen was born in 1964, the same year that the civil rights act was passed. She was born in Chicago to wealthy parents. She has never known anything but privilege.

Michelle's childhood buddy was Jesse Jackson's daughter. Michelle spent a lot of time over at her house and was an unofficial member of the Jackson family.
Does that explain some of her attitude?

Posted by: Lizzy at March 25, 2014 09:27 AM (udjuE)

269 244 Brilliant Chinese guy that worked for me and was born and grew up in Hawaii said it was the most racist place he'd ever been!

Posted by: Hrothgar at March 25, 2014 01:17 PM (o3MSL)

____________________

Ever been to Japan?
***

Oh, hell yeah. No shit.
I once flew from Naha Airport to Hiroshima and back on JAL in 1989 and had the entire row to myself on both flights because Gaijin.

Posted by: B at March 25, 2014 09:27 AM (VC56G)

270 261 Are you *sure* you're a Democrat? yeah, damn my parents for instilling values in me

Posted by: navycopjoe at March 25, 2014 09:27 AM (bDxDx)

271

Obama has lost it entirely.  Today in the Hague he tendentiously argued back at Romney, saying (believe it or not) that Russia is not America's greatest geo-political foe because he is more "worried someone might set off a nuclear bomb in Manhattan".  TFG actually said that. 

 

"Geo-politics" refers specifically to state actors.  Terrorists are non-state actors.  Everyone worries about some terrorist setting a bomb off in NYC, of course, but that threat is existential and completely a different threat from geo-political threats.   Was Obama just not paying attention in class that day?  Is he stupid beyond belief?  And what the fuck is he doing arguing from the world stage  with the guy he beat in the last election?  That election is over, dumb-shit.  Start talking about tyrants.  Start talking about Putin, 

 

I am more and more worried by the day.  Obama and his village idiot cohort, led by Biden, Kerry, Power, Rice and all the other clowns, are incapable of understanding there is trouble ahead and "blaming it on the Republicans" won't be the solution.   

Posted by: MTF at March 25, 2014 09:28 AM (LISuA)

272 Posted by: navycopjoe at March 25, 2014 01:26 PM (bDxDx) When I get back I will be happy to buy you any beer you so choose. Puu puus at Chart House.

Posted by: Seems legit at March 25, 2014 09:28 AM (A98Xu)

273 Ace , get to feeling better!!!! God Bless You , Sir !!!

Posted by: Extremely grumpy momma bear at March 25, 2014 09:29 AM (FP/uO)

274 I heard the air and water in Peruvia have healing and mind expanding properties. Get well Ace.

Posted by: fastfreefall at March 25, 2014 09:29 AM (kONH/)

275 Former staffers describe a high-stress, high-stakes workplace, in which Mrs. Obama scrutinized the smallest facets of her schedule. Aides in both wings of the White House say she insists on planning every move months in advance and finalizing speeches weeks ahead of time—a rigidity nearly unheard of in today’s chaotic political environment. “For her, trust is huge, really feeling like people were protecting and thinking about her,” says one alum. “ Narcissist much?

Posted by: Citizen X at March 25, 2014 09:29 AM (7ObY1)

276

Drop a package of chewing tobacco into a gallon of boiling water. Take off the heat, and let it cool down. After it has cooled, strain the solution. Pour a cup of the solution and a half cup of lemon scented liquid soap into a sprayer. Spray the solution around your yard and outside of your house to get rid of spiders.

 

Pfft.  That only works on those pantywaists like Charlotte.

Posted by: Face Sized Spider at March 25, 2014 09:29 AM (zF6Iw)

277 speaking of nck, I should wake her up this sleeping in till noon cause of spring break is bullshit if she grows up lazy she'll have to become a lawyer

Posted by: navycopjoe at March 25, 2014 09:29 AM (bDxDx)

278 Yikes, is he from Florida? Posted by: Seems legit at March 25, 2014 01:25 PM (A98Xu) I am just going to assume yes.

Posted by: RWC at March 25, 2014 09:29 AM (fWAjv)

279 Not to mention the prospect of lost tobacco tax revenue. Going Galt fucks 'em every time. I vaped to quit a 35 year long two pack a day habit. Fuck 'em.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 25, 2014 09:29 AM (uVkIH)

280 In the Daily Mail today it seems God's got a backup plan in case humans don't work out Kepler 62 f Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at March 25, 2014 01:21 PM (Ysbcl) ------------------------------------- "White Spaceflight: Gentrification On The Galactic Scale" by Michelle Obama, Sooper Jeenyusss

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at March 25, 2014 09:29 AM (CJjw5)

281 Colic isn't supposed to last that long ace.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at March 25, 2014 09:29 AM (gBnkX)

282 266 He also said his main concern was a "nuclear bomb going off in Manhattan".
***

How's border security coming along, you feckless assclown?

Posted by: B at March 25, 2014 09:29 AM (VC56G)

283 More on the shooting at Norfolk: A sailor standing watch on the destroyer Mahan shot and killed a civilian who had gained access to the pier late Monday night, after the man shot a member of the naval security force on the pier, according to a military official familiar with the incident reports. The male civilian gained access to Naval Station Norfolk with proper credentials while driving a tractor-trailer onto base Monday and then gained access to Pier 1, which has a watch stander who checks IDs, the source said. The struggle began when the quarterdeck watch noticed the man behaving erratically. He was confronted by watch standers and a struggle ensued. The man stripped the gun from the petty officer of the watch and shot the chief of the guard who was rushing to the scene. The man was subsequently shot and killed by the roving watch stander on Mahan, according to the source, who wasnÂ’t authorized to speak publicly amid an ongoing investigation.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 25, 2014 09:29 AM (t3UFN)

284 Here's something to chew on -- WUWT has it that the IPCC will announce that biofuels harm the environment and drive up food prices.
 
To which I reply "Duh." Ruh roh, greenies and Dems.
 
http://tinyurl.com/p2geo29

Posted by: GnuBreed at March 25, 2014 09:29 AM (wNF3N)

285 Posted by: Sean Bannion at March 25, 2014 01:24 PM (JpC1K) So you've been keeping records? Asking for a friend!

Posted by: Hrothgar at March 25, 2014 09:30 AM (o3MSL)

286

Take it easy Ace - sometime you've just got to put your head in your hands and let your mind roll by.

 

We'll try not to break the place

Posted by: Cheri at March 25, 2014 09:31 AM (G+Wff)

287 Drudge headline: RUMSFELD: 'A Trained Ape' Could Manage War Better Than Obama... Has the screaming begun yet? Actaully, Rummy said a trained ape could get a status of forces agreement with Karzai, something Prezzy Brainiac failed to accomplish.

Posted by: The Goalpost at March 25, 2014 09:31 AM (1Y+hH)

288 Drop a package of chewing tobacco into a gallon of boiling water. Take off the heat, and let it cool down. After it has cooled, strain the solution. Pour a cup of the solution and a half cup of lemon scented liquid soap into a sprayer. Spray the solution around your yard and outside of your house to get rid of spiders. Posted by: Public Service Message at March 25, 2014 01:23 PM (oGrEy) You seen the price of chewing tobacco these days? I'd sooner keep the spiders.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 25, 2014 09:31 AM (yDmQD)

289

Oops- sorry- here is TFG at the Hague:

 

http://tws.io/1dKFND8

 

Russia and China now obviously are free to take whatever territory they wish, and NATO is soon to be defunct.  The Pax Americana is equally  soon-to-be-defunct.  Our children will be soon dragged into a war with the new Axis powers, debt ridden and saddled with terrible ideas of what constitutes ethical behavior.  We are so screwed.

 

Get better Ace. 

Posted by: MTF at March 25, 2014 09:31 AM (LISuA)

290 And holy fuck on that Princeton paper by Ms. Obama. And this was a sociology paper back before grade inflation was as big of a problem as it is today.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at March 25, 2014 09:31 AM (gBnkX)

291 Florida. Posted by: Sean Bannion at March 25, 2014 01:26 PM (JpC1K) Heh. Just noticed that.

Posted by: RWC at March 25, 2014 09:32 AM (fWAjv)

292 So you've been keeping records? Asking for a friend!  Posted by: Hrothgar at March 25, 2014 01:30 PM (o3MSL)

Very detailed, indexed, and lovingly cross-referenced records.

Posted by: Sean Bannion [/i][/s][/u][/b] at March 25, 2014 09:32 AM (JpC1K)

293 Val-U-Rite is medicinal. A heavy prescription of it is always warranted...

Posted by: The Political Hat at March 25, 2014 09:32 AM (CTCNK)

294 I hear spiders don't like hedgeapples.

Posted by: HR at March 25, 2014 09:32 AM (ZKzrr)

295 274 Puu puus at Chart House oh hell yeah I can be there in five if I cab it, 10 if I walk (I live by the kuhio Dennys) speaking of, its gone...literally they just tore down all of dukes lane and the international marketplace the hotel is next then they are rebuilding a megahotel complex

Posted by: navycopjoe at March 25, 2014 09:32 AM (bDxDx)

296 I've seen some youtube of expat experiences in Japan (although mixed race Japanese). I have only been to Taiwan in the east so, obviously, I *have* to rely on youtube here... Whites don't do THAT bad in the cities, and even American blacks get by. The worst experiences in Japan appear to be had by Indonesians.

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at March 25, 2014 09:32 AM (Ysbcl)

297 Plus it may not have a moon. If we didn't have a moon constantly tugging on us our days would be about six hours long and hurricane force winds would be a daily occurrence.

So I'm not packing yet.

Posted by: SE Pa Moron

I can provide a moon.

Posted by: Chip Vader [/i][/b] at March 25, 2014 09:33 AM (wMsSu)

298

Actaully, Rummy said a trained ape could get a status of forces agreement with Karzai, something Prezzy Brainiac failed to accomplish.

----

So.....  Rumsfeld supports a run for POTUS by Michelle........

*** ducks

*** ducks again

Ok.... Im going to hell....

Posted by: fixerupper at March 25, 2014 09:33 AM (nELVU)

299 Re Truck Monkey at 244.
The Emperor of Japan said.
The Black Man will be the Down Fall of the US.

Now that's Japanese PC

Even the Korean admit genetic second fiddle to the Japanese

Posted by: Mitch Ryder at March 25, 2014 09:33 AM (Ypcwm)

300 Myth Debunked. Boobs do not deter longbow use http://www.pinterest.com/pin/309341068125478094/

Posted by: kbdabear at March 25, 2014 09:33 AM (aTXUx)

301 Having the row to yourself, while insulting, isn't quite as bad as people pretending they don't understand you or just getting the sh!t beat out of you by punks

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at March 25, 2014 09:34 AM (Ysbcl)

302 Spiders are good for a garden..... just sayin'.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 25, 2014 09:34 AM (32Ze2)

303 I don't care if other people want to smoke, and I think most of the laws banning smoking in privately owned businesses are bullshit, but for fuck's sake, if we're going to have a law fucking enforce it.

Posted by: HR at March 25, 2014 01:24 PM (ZKzrr)

What HR said.

Posted by: NRA at March 25, 2014 09:34 AM (Kkt/i)

304 "This administration, the White House and the State Department have failed to get a status of forces agreement," Rumsfeld said. Only a few weeks ago, Rumsfeld employed the same word choice when he criticized former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton during an interview with right-wing shock jock Mark Levin. "I think I'd kind of rank [John Kerry] above his predecessor, who I can't think of a single thing that was accomplished," Rumsfeld told Levin. "A trained ape can get a status of forces agreement." Rumsfeld also used the phrase repeatedly during his time in the Bush administration. "A trained ape can know an awful lot of what is going on in this world, just by punching on his mouse for a relatively modest cost," he said while on a trip to Europe in 2001. During a July 2001 press conference, Rumsfeld said that a "trained ape can figure out that over the coming period, more people are going to have exceedingly powerful weapons, weapons more powerful than ever in the history of the world, biological weapons, nuclear weapons, chemical weapons."

Posted by: RWC at March 25, 2014 09:35 AM (fWAjv)

305 Myth Debunked. Boobs do not deter longbow use  Posted by: kbdabear at March 25, 2014 01:33 PM (aTXUx)

BRB.

Bunk

Posted by: Sean Bannion [/i][/s][/u][/b] at March 25, 2014 09:35 AM (JpC1K)

306 Although" ugh I mean also. Need moar coffee

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at March 25, 2014 09:35 AM (Ysbcl)

307 "Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) braved a snowy Washington, D.C. Tuesday morning to speak outside the Supreme Court in support of Hobby Lobby.
At the close of his speech he ripped off his shirt, revealing several large tattoos and screamed, 'Live free or die, bitchez!"

OK, I may have made up the second part.

Posted by: Lizzy at March 25, 2014 09:35 AM (udjuE)

308 Posted by: Sean Bannion at March 25, 2014 01:32 PM (JpC1K) They must be public records, right? Definitely asking for a friend!

Posted by: Hrothgar at March 25, 2014 09:35 AM (o3MSL)

309 Feel better ace. Just put up a London Boys Open and we will keep ourselves entertained until Thursday..... at least.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 25, 2014 09:36 AM (32Ze2)

310 the hell? the larger cat just jumped on my lap, then walked over me to get to the headrest of the chair no respect in this house

Posted by: navycopjoe at March 25, 2014 09:36 AM (bDxDx)

311 >Whites don't do THAT bad in the cities, and even American blacks get by. The worst experiences in Japan appear to be had by Indonesians.

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at March 25, 2014 01:32 PM (Ysbcl)<



I've spent nearly 2 years of my life in Japan - all in business trips of 2 weeks or less duration.  Spent 90% of my time in the big cities and never had a single problem as a white Gaijin. 

Posted by: Muad'dib at March 25, 2014 09:36 AM (sjdRT)

312 We'll try not to break the place. Before you lay down, Ace, where are the keys to the liquor cabinet?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at March 25, 2014 09:36 AM (0HooB)

313 Before you lay down, Ace, where are the keys to the liquor cabinet? We're supposed to wait for the keys?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at March 25, 2014 09:37 AM (PYAXX)

314 Continuing the HotAssery...http://tinyurl.com/l4s643q

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 25, 2014 09:38 AM (da5Wo)

315 Posted by: RWC at March 25, 2014 01:35 PM (fWAjv) *grabs headphones to dull the screaming from the left*

Posted by: Meremortal at March 25, 2014 09:38 AM (1Y+hH)

316 "Well, I've been feeling rundown for a while and today I just feel unwell." Look at the flowers, Ace! Look at the flowers! Just kidding. Take care of yourself.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at March 25, 2014 09:38 AM (oFCZn)

317 An excellent opening pic. Allow me....http://tinyurl.com/l98nm36 Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 25, 2014 01:15 PM (da5Wo) See and raise. (Just presume from here on out these are all moderately NSFW) http://bit.ly/NPii4x I am given to understand that there may soon be an opening in logistics in alextopia.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at March 25, 2014 09:38 AM (VtjlW)

318 Before you lay down, Ace, where are the keys to the liquor cabinet?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at March 25, 2014 01:36 PM (0HooB)


----


.... and since when does a styrofoam cooler have a lock???

Posted by: fixerupper at March 25, 2014 09:38 AM (nELVU)

319 Ace, don't worry, I'm sure it's something that can remedied by raising the gas-tax and implementing a carbon-tax scheme

Posted by: Tom Friedman at March 25, 2014 09:38 AM (kFxpe)

320 We'll try not to break the place. Before you lay down, Ace, where are the keys to the liquor cabinet? Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at March 25, 2014 01:36 PM (0HooB) 316 Before you lay down, Ace, where are the keys to the liquor cabinet? We're supposed to wait for the keys? Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at March 25, 2014 01:37 PM (PYAXX) __________________ Yeah, .... we're asking for a friend.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 25, 2014 09:39 AM (32Ze2)

321 >303 Myth Debunked. Boobs do not deter longbow use

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/309341068125478094/

Posted by: kbdabear at March 25, 2014 01:33 PM (aTXUx)<



Objection!  Presumes facts not in evidence since that is not a longbow.  And also, brb, going to my bunk also.

Posted by: Muad'dib at March 25, 2014 09:39 AM (sjdRT)

322 Myth Debunked. Boobs do not deter longbow use Posted by: kbdabear at March 25, 2014 01:33 PM (aTXUx) BRB. Bunk Posted by: Sean Bannion at March 25, 2014 01:35 PM (JpC1K) Does a compound bow qualify as a longbow?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 25, 2014 09:39 AM (yDmQD)

323 The habitable zone of red dwarfs is so close to the star, K62f is probably in rotational-orbital synch. So it will have one face to its sun all the time (like our own moon). The planet won't need a moon to be stable. Life on red dwarfs' planets will be clustered at its equator. It's a test case in Neil Comins, "what if the earth had two moons"

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at March 25, 2014 09:40 AM (Ysbcl)

324 I am given to understand that there may soon be an opening in logistics in alextopia.  Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at March 25, 2014 01:38 PM (VtjlW)

I'm getting promoted!  I'm getting promoted!!!

Wheeee!!!

::: shift eyes :::

I'm getting promoted...right?

Posted by: Sean Bannion [/i][/s][/u][/b] at March 25, 2014 09:40 AM (JpC1K)

325 Before you lay down, Ace, where are the keys to the liquor cabinet? We're supposed to wait for the keys? Paper clip & bobby pin.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 25, 2014 09:40 AM (uVkIH)

326 Wait.... ace is sick? You know what that means. SUBSTITUTE TEACHER!

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 25, 2014 09:40 AM (32Ze2)

327 Does a compound bow qualify as a longbow? Does it look 6 feet tall? There's your answer. Also- bunk.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at March 25, 2014 09:40 AM (PYAXX)

328 I think I have a longbow

Posted by: phreshone at March 25, 2014 09:40 AM (kFxpe)

329 Myth Debunked. Boobs do not deter longbow use ------------------------------ That's a compound bow. Need a larger sample size.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at March 25, 2014 09:41 AM (CJjw5)

330 331 I think I have a longbow

Posted by: phreshone at March 25, 2014 01:40 PM (kFxpe)

 

Me too.  In my pants.

Posted by: Insomniac at March 25, 2014 09:41 AM (DrWcr)

331 291 Drop a package of chewing tobacco into a gallon of boiling water. Take off the heat, and let it cool down. After it has cooled, strain the solution. Pour a cup of the solution and a half cup of lemon scented liquid soap into a sprayer. Spray the solution around your yard and outside of your house to get rid of spiders. Does that work on Chemtrails?

Posted by: Crazy Uncle luaP noR at March 25, 2014 09:41 AM (7ObY1)

332 Liquor cabinet lock is one of those new-fangled digital types. Code is & & & & & &

Posted by: RWC at March 25, 2014 09:41 AM (fWAjv)

333 Objection! Presumes facts not in evidence since that is not a longbow. And also, brb, going to my bunk also.

Posted by: Muad'dib at March 25, 2014 01:39 PM (sjdRT)




Does a compound bow qualify as a longbow?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 25, 2014 01:39 PM (yDmQD)


-----


WTF guys......  Look at the boobs....  Just Look at the boobs.....

***cocks 38 special

Posted by: fixerupper at March 25, 2014 09:42 AM (nELVU)

334 Before you lay down, Ace, where are the keys to the liquor cabinet? Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at March 25, 2014 ...............I think he's asleep. See if you can go get them out of his pants.

Posted by: Minnfidel at March 25, 2014 09:42 AM (igKtt)

335 Paper clip & bobby pin.

Already got the hinges off.

Posted by: HR at March 25, 2014 09:42 AM (ZKzrr)

336 I am given to understand that there may soon be an opening in logistics in alextopia. Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at March 25, 2014 01:38 PM (VtjlW) Might I suggest a suitable replacement? http://tinyurl.com/qgsmc8c

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 25, 2014 09:42 AM (da5Wo)

337 Nood open thread. Which is kind of like the current thread, but less smelly.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at March 25, 2014 09:42 AM (PYAXX)

338 Whoa! This place looks a lot different on a computer than on a phone. Oh look, you can make Bold and italics and all sorts of stuff. I just thought everyone on here were wizards or something.

Posted by: traye at March 25, 2014 09:43 AM (sRh7l)

339 338 Paper clip bobby pin.

Already got the hinges off.

Posted by: HR at March 25, 2014 01:42 PM (ZKzrr)

 

Nuts.  Looks like I brought this crowbar for nothing!

Posted by: Insomniac at March 25, 2014 09:43 AM (DrWcr)

340 I can provide a moon. Posted by: Chip Vader

That's no moon!

Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 25, 2014 09:43 AM (4WhSY)

341 WTF guys...... Look at the boobs.... Just Look at the boobs.....***cocks 38 special  Posted by: fixerupper at March 25, 2014 01:42 PM (nELVU)


Oh, I have.

I have.

Achingly.

Longingly.

.....

::: sigh :::

What were we discussing again?

Posted by: Sean Bannion [/i][/s][/u][/b] at March 25, 2014 09:43 AM (JpC1K)

342 Posted by: RWC at March 25, 2014 01:41 PM (fWAjv) Well played, sir!

Posted by: Hrothgar at March 25, 2014 09:43 AM (o3MSL)

343 ...............I think he's asleep. See if you can go get them out of his pants. Hmm, Ewoks have pockets? I'm not so sure about that...

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at March 25, 2014 09:43 AM (0HooB)

344 >Might I suggest a suitable replacement?

http://tinyurl.com/qgsmc8c

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 25, 2014 01:42 PM (da5Wo)<



Yep.  Bannion is soooo gone.

Posted by: Muad'dib at March 25, 2014 09:43 AM (sjdRT)

345 So you are feeling...malaise?

But seriously Ace, get better. And TAKE OFF the day, don't just kind of take off. Sleep. Heal. Don't do a half baked recovery. We corgis will be here bright eyed and bushy tailed tomorrow.

Posted by: LizLem at March 25, 2014 09:43 AM (BF+2f)

346 More than a handful is wasted! - Stuff Guys Who Haven't Touched A Boob Since They Were Breastfed Say, Vol. I

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at March 25, 2014 09:44 AM (CJjw5)

347 I'm getting promoted! I'm getting promoted!!! Wheeee!!! ::: shift eyes ::: I'm getting promoted...right? Posted by: Sean Bannion at March 25, 2014 01:40 PM (JpC1K) Of course! Here. Lemme just send Vaako along to help with your promotion. http://bit.ly/1rvcxJy

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at March 25, 2014 09:44 AM (VtjlW)

348 Rest that right arm Ace and come back stronger than ever.

Posted by: guy with this experience at March 25, 2014 09:45 AM (Jaa4E)

349 Well played, sir! Posted by: Hrothgar at March 25, 2014 01:43 PM (o3MSL) Keeps out the riff-raff

Posted by: RWC at March 25, 2014 09:46 AM (fWAjv)

350 nood up as well. Think I'll stay on the boobeh thread.

Posted by: RWC at March 25, 2014 09:47 AM (fWAjv)

351

 

@124

 

I'm pretty sure I sucked her toes in Wal-Mart a couple of times....

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at March 25, 2014 09:48 AM (GjPnA)

352 Tragic story, I'm afraid. I could've had any woman in the world.. but none could match the beauty of my own hand.. and that became my one true love..

Posted by: Ray McKigney [/i][/s][/u][/b] at March 25, 2014 09:49 AM (JpC1K)

353 Crossbow - Put your eyes on THIS , Meester Bond! http://tinyurl.com/lxk6d5r

Posted by: kbdabear at March 25, 2014 09:51 AM (aTXUx)

354 Lemme just send Vaako along to help with your promotion.


"Then a piece of him, you shall have..."


Posted by: EC at March 25, 2014 09:52 AM (GQ8sn)

355 "No, you're both thinking about a Hopi Hot Pocket." Haven't had one of those in years. A little place right outside of Grants, N.M. called "The Fuzzy Tunnel" used to make the best ones. If you stop by ask for Greasy Pete. He'll know what's up.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at March 25, 2014 09:55 AM (gOoFi)

356 That's a compound bow. Need a larger sample size. Posted by: Empire of Jeff at March 25, 2014 01:41 PM (CJjw5) The Debate is Over http://tinyurl.com/mvyprpp

Posted by: kbdabear at March 25, 2014 09:59 AM (aTXUx)

357 Get well, ace.

Posted by: Y-not on the phone at March 25, 2014 10:02 AM (zDsvJ)

358 Get well soon, Ace. And thanks for everything you do.

Posted by: Ed Snyder at March 25, 2014 10:08 AM (qVqyk)

359 Tragic story, I'm afraid. I could've had any woman in the world.. but none could match the beauty of my own hand.. and that became my one true love.. You are not the master of your domain.

Posted by: toby928© embraces tribalism at March 25, 2014 10:14 AM (QupBk)

360 Best wishes, ace. Besides mobility problems- a flare of RA that has me using a staff to walk? I'm pretty sure an old sinus infection is back. And the jackass doc who treated the last one would not refill the amoxillon scrip he used to treat it over the phone. Said I had to come to him in person. Problem is I can't walk that far.

It's like our "family doctor." Her office is in a tower with "valet parking." I hate using that. The front door is a revolving glass door that even people of normal agility have problems getting thru. And she's on the third floor. She's a heart surgeon- so most of her patients are sick people. You would think such a smart and accomplished woman would know better- her last office was ground-floor.

Then, again, she missed the heart disease that killed my second wife. Maybe she's not so great, after all....

Posted by: backhoe at March 25, 2014 10:29 AM (ULH4o)

361 Ace, get well soon, sunshine.

Posted by: panzernashorn at March 25, 2014 10:35 AM (/vO0r)

362 Rest easy Ace. Take a cue from the libs and relax a bit. Like your mom said " lots of fluids and rest" . Oh and don't forget Oil Pulling. Pron also will help the fever go away. Get well soon.

Posted by: Eugene Allen at March 25, 2014 10:37 AM (Z5//e)

363 Feel better! You've got a great set of cobloggers to keep the morons off the furniture and out of the liquor cabinet.

Posted by: Heralder at March 25, 2014 11:17 AM (/Mxso)

364 I hope you and AllahPundit had a nice, er, visit and enjoyed the DVD of Sex in the City.  Sober up Get well soon!

Posted by: Adjoran at March 25, 2014 11:51 AM (QIQ6j)

365 Get well Ace. A question tho... My mom always user the term 'unwell' to mean she was having her period. I'm just askin'...

Posted by: MikeW at March 25, 2014 01:19 PM (NmARk)

366 I'm late to this thread, but I hope you see this, Ace, just in case. Recently I went through a few weeks where I was increasingly fatigued. As time went by, I lost all of what little vigor I'd ever had. Just walking from one room to another would wear me out. What finally sent me to the hospital was I could only sleep sitting upright. And at last I could only get three hours of sleep in that position. And I'd put on twenty pounds in a couple weeks. If any of that rings a bell with you, don't dick around, buddy. Get thee to a physician. Your heart might be flapping around like a landed trout.

Posted by: Frank Underwood (D-SC) at March 25, 2014 04:14 PM (OpaBw)

367 P.S. There is good news. It's quite treatable if you don't sit around beating your meat until you're dead.

Posted by: Frank Underwood (D-SC) at March 25, 2014 04:24 PM (OpaBw)

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