March 28, 2014

The Fake Obamacare Endorsement Game
— Ace

Commenters are having fun with this email:

I am a staunch Republican, a self-proclaimed Fox News addict, and I didn't vote for the President. And I'm here to tell you that Obamacare works. I'm living proof.

I'm a chemotherapy patient, and was previously paying $428 a month for my health coverage. I was not thrilled when it was cancelled.

Then I submitted an application at HealthCare.gov. I looked at my options. And I signed up for a plan for $62 a month.

It's the best health care I have ever had.

So right now, here's what I want to tell anyone who still needs health insurance, or knows someone who does:

Sign up. Follow the instructions on the website. Apply, and look at your options. You still have time, and take it from me: This is something you want to do.

I wrote a letter to President Obama this past February to tell him about my experience with the Health Insurance Marketplace. I hoped he'd read it, and he did.

I may not be a supporter of the President. But now, I get mad when I see Obamacare dragged through the mud on television.

And even though I regularly tune in to conservative pundits, I'd like to tell them they're getting it wrong. Obamacare works.

So one more time: If you still need health insurance, you have just three days to get it. Do what I did. Go to HealthCare.gov, submit an application, and pick a plan that works for you.

It just might change your life.

I have no idea if this guy is for real, or if he's a "staunch Republican" as he claims. Commenters say his FaceBook page does contain previous anti-Obama and anti-Obamacare messages. So he may be exactly what he claims to be.

After all, Obamacare makes a lot of losers, but it will also make a (precious) few winners; at least some of those will be Republicans (even if the system is engineered to help as few Republicans as possible).

But what's a little bit funny -- and which provides fodder for a F*** It All Friday Game -- is the superficiality of his "staunch Republican" credentials.

Think about what conservative imagines a conservative to be, as opposed to what a progressive imagines a conservative to be.

Think how a conservative would describe himself, as opposed to how a progressive would describe that conservative.

A conservative would say something like:

"I'm a genuine conservative who believes in unleashing the power of the individual to make his own choices and own fate as his conscience and talent might dictate, and I'm aghast at Obama's continuing erosion of the individual in order to aggrandize the state..."

What would a progressive say, if he were trying to "think like a Republican"?

Well, he wouldn't talk about conservatism being empowering for the individual -- no, it's progressivism that's empowering for the individual. Government empowers the individual. So he wouldn't say limiting government empowers the individual, that as the state shrinks, the individual grows, and as the state grows, the citizen diminishes.

That's anathema to him. He couldn't bring himself to say that even when pretending to be a conservative.

So what would he say?

Well, he'd build his Krazy Konservative Kredentials on the most superficial, most vacuous grounds possible, insulting conservatives even as he claimed to be one.

He'd go to the progressive stereotype of a conservative and pick out one of the ten bigoted slurs that his mind associates with conservatives. You know, "God-Humpers," gun-f*ckers, that kind of thing.

But that's too obvious, isn't it? He wouldn't claim, "Hey, I believe in all that fantasy nonsense about Jesus and Easter Bunnies or whatever, so believe me when I say ObamaCare is just wonderful."

No, what he'd say is "I'm a Fox News addict." He would make his Krazy Konservative Kredentials on the basis of a trivial consumer choice.

What the hell kind of politically-animated person bases his philosophy on what TV channel he watches?

Now, the guy could be on the level. But I don't know -- if being a "Fox News addict" is what he considers to be foundational to being a strong conservative and "staunch Republican" (and note again that even this silly little self-reported credential is phrased in a manner suggesting that people who watch Fox have a problem), I can't think he's an especially committed conservative.

Committed conservatives actually go out of their way to say they're not Republicans.

If you asked me to write down ten things that make me a conservative, Fox News would not be on the list. F***, it wouldn't be on any list, even if I could list out fifty reasons.

This guy may indeed be a registered Republican, but he doesn't seem to have engaged the conservative (classic liberal) philosophy with any degree of depth. He seems ready, willing, and eager to dispense with the general principle of free markets and free people just because of a single anecdotal "winner" in a command-and-control system.

(Granted, one anecdote counts for a lot when that anecdote refers to yourself, but still: Most thoughtful people manage to set the self aside when thinking about first principles.)

Anyway, that's just a preamble for this game suggested by FenelonSpoke:

Let's have fun and make up fake names and testimonials to Obamacare.

So if you were playing the Moby and plumping Obamacare, what would you say?

Here's FenelonSpike's opening bid:


I'm Mark Christian, PhD and I live in Gainesville, FL.

I wouldn't miss going to church every Sunday and I sing in the praise band . I am a strong proponent of the second amendment, don't support abortion and didn't vote for President Obama either time. I wouldn;t miss NASCAR or FOX news. But I want you to know that I checked out the Affordable Care Act and it is both affordable and caring. Sign up Now!!!

MWR bids:


I'm Beth Abrams of Salt Lake City, UT, and I have an MBA from Brigham Young University. You could say I'm a Republican, if by "Republican" you mean "founder of the local Rush Limbaugh Dittohead Fanclub," or maybe, "the lady who DVRs every episode of The O'Reilly Factor," or even, "the one with an airbrushed Bald Eagle on the side of her Ford F-150 and a 'Reagan/Bush '84' bumper sticker." If that's what you mean by "Republican," then yeah, I guess I'm kind of a Republican.

And I'm here to tell you that Obamacare WORKS.

Matticus bids:

Hi, I'm Bill Prescott. On my way to Hobby Lobby, I stopped by a Chic-Fil-A to get a #1 with extra pickles. I usually eat while I read the latest from The Blaze, but decided to give the ACA website a shot. I'll be durned if the thing wasn't the most easy-to-navigate website I've encountered in quite some time. And the prices? Well, let me just tell you that I was very pleased. ACA rocks!

Lincolntf bids game:

Just got back from the gun range, ready to start homeschooling all nine kids. My sister-wives were busy beating the Devil out of a haunted set of curtains, so I picked up the mail. I couldn't believe my eyes! Our insurance rates have gone from $4,000 a month, without the Gout Plan, to just 14 bucks, with full Gout Coverage!

"Tex Texas" doubles:

As a severely conservative Republican, I really hate Obama. Not because he's a shitty president, but because he's black.


So anyway, a couple months ago I was leaving the monthly Klan rally and saw a gay wedding going on across the street. Naturally, I went over and curb stomped those queermos one after the other until all of a sudden, I broke my foot.


Three months later, my foot is all healed up and I didn't pay jack shit. Thanks, Obamacare!

Hollowpoint redoubles:

I'm Cliff Redmond, and am a lifelong Republican Christian Conservative. I did not vote for Obama because he was secretly born another country. I forget which, the one with all the colored people. Quebec I think.

An injury I sustained while taking part in a lynching after a big meth binge has left me with a pre-existing condition that prevents me from getting traditional medical care. At times the pain in my back is so severe I can't even make love to my sister. At least not in the "normal" way like God intended.

While trying to distract me from beating my sister-wife for nagging me about the moonshine still, my nephew-son showed my all the Obamacare options available to me. I shot the computer for being the work of the Devil, but a local navigator was able to take my information over the phone and get me enrolled.

Thanks to the Affordable Care Act, I can now afford things I never thought possible. It's enabled me to buy Copenhagen instead of that cheap Grizzly stuff, and even a shirt with sleeves on it.

Thanks, Obama!

Posted by: Hollowpoint

Posted by: Ace at 12:02 PM | Comments (441)
Post contains 1506 words, total size 9 kb.

1 It's the superficiality of his "staunch Republican" credentials. A real conservative would call himself a "severe" conservative.

Posted by: rickl at March 28, 2014 12:06 PM (zoehZ)

2 Wow.

Posted by: Country Singer at March 28, 2014 12:06 PM (r/e1Q)

3 Dang, thought I was first.

Posted by: Country Singer at March 28, 2014 12:06 PM (r/e1Q)

4 I'm a poor white sharecropper from GA and now I have affordable health care.

Posted by: Chaos the other dark meat at March 28, 2014 12:07 PM (oDCMR)

5 Like everything with this administration - made up, false, a lie. 

Posted by: PagirlinNC at March 28, 2014 12:07 PM (LMKjz)

6 Beth FTW!

Posted by: rickb223 at March 28, 2014 12:07 PM (ndIek)

7 His numbers can't be true unless he is below the poverty level and is being 99% subsidized and even then I don't believe it. We have had some assholes here with the same story.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 28, 2014 12:07 PM (nzKvP)

8 I had a girlfriend who gave the best healthcare ever.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at March 28, 2014 12:08 PM (oFCZn)

9 It's just the old trick of declaring yourself to part of an insular group so that your message can be internalized by those who only listen to fellow group-members. It's a gimmick as old as the hills. Here, I'll try it myself: "I'm a fervent progressive who campaigned for Obama in 2008 and 2012. But once I experienced personally how Obamacare cancelled my insurance, I realized I had made a terrible mistake!" The difficulty is not coming up with the meme, but rather having the mass platform to disseminate it to sufficient numbers of cretins.

Posted by: zombie at March 28, 2014 12:08 PM (mizYg)

10 I had a girlfriend who gave the best healthcare ever. Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at March 28, 2014 04:08 PM (oFCZn) I clicked on a link that said "best Helathcare" ever boy was I disappointed

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 28, 2014 12:09 PM (nzKvP)

11 https://www.facebook.com/mark.d.bearden There's his facebook page. After combing through 2 years of posts my diagnosis is: Crazy. And definitely NOT a doctor of any sort.

Posted by: Lauren at March 28, 2014 12:09 PM (hFL/3)

12 Beth FTW!

Posted by: rickb223 at March 28, 2014 04:07 PM (ndIek)



Learn it, love it, be it, that's what I say.  

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/u][/i][/s][/b] at March 28, 2014 12:09 PM (4df7R)

13 Would $428/month really that much considering the supposed chemotherapy? Even if this guy were real, my Middle-class $ are subsidizing a Ph.D.

Posted by: West Town at March 28, 2014 12:09 PM (Y3C5w)

14 The tell is "self-proclaimed Fox News addict." No one would really say that, IMO, unless they're being a dick.

Posted by: jakeman at March 28, 2014 12:09 PM (vH4YP)

15 More.... there is no way this guy pays only $62 a month without HUGE subsidies. So even though he says he is a Conservative... he is part of the Free Shit Electorate (I will not call them an army, as I have too much respect for the military)..

Posted by: Romeo13 at March 28, 2014 12:09 PM (84gbM)

16 He ain't paying 62.00 a month.

Posted by: Bad mother...shut your mouth at March 28, 2014 12:10 PM (1rEgY)

17 Remember that kid who said he was like the first person to sign up and it turned out he was on his father's old plan?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 28, 2014 12:10 PM (nzKvP)

18 It reads like a form letter.  I wouldn't be surprised if OFA or some other Obama-fellating group is coordinating this.

Posted by: Insomniac at March 28, 2014 12:10 PM (DrWcr)

19 I still have a GHWB Bumper sticker from 88 on a tackle box. Am I a republican who likes Obama Care. Just curious signed the Misanthropic Humanitarian somewhere in WI

Posted by: Misanthopic Humanitarian at March 28, 2014 12:10 PM (HVff2)

20 Dear Obamacare Witness and Advocate writing an unsolicited testimony: Waive your HIPA rights, Waive Miranda, Publish your last four years tax returns, Publish your medical records, Publish your medical expenditures so it can be as transparent as your puppetmaster would have us believe. Other wise try to sell us the aerosol dessert topping/floor wax like you did before.

Posted by: DM at March 28, 2014 12:11 PM (Ztudx)

21 I think he is a revival tent preacher in the south "Dr" of theology, from the "draw a picture of binky and get a degree" school of theology

Posted by: thunderb at March 28, 2014 12:11 PM (zOTsN)

22 West Town, Over the years 'ol mark has claimed 4 broken ribs, a broken foot, sleep apnea, a colonoscopy gone wrong resulting in hospitalization, and a mild heart attack (don't worry though, he was back at work the next day!) Never has he claimed cancer, but you know, maybe he's just a private guy.

Posted by: Lauren at March 28, 2014 12:11 PM (hFL/3)

23
Dear Fellow Conservatives,

Just like you, I hate all non-whites. It was because of this, and the fact that I hate poor people, that I totally voted against Obama.

As you can tell, I'm super-conservative.

However, I am writing this letter to inform you that Obamacare is amazing. It cured my AIDS. Which of course I deserved for all the evil that I committed, but still, I didn't really like having AIDS.

So anyways, stop criticizing Obamacare.

Sincerely,
Super-conservative guy

Posted by: Seriously, I'm a Conservative at March 28, 2014 12:11 PM (D0bIN)

24 Remember that kid who said he was like the first person to sign up and it turned out he was on his father's old plan?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 28, 2014 04:10 PM (nzKvP)




Yeah, I remember him.   I remember him damn well.



Fucking CHAD!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/u][/i][/s][/b] at March 28, 2014 12:11 PM (4df7R)

25 I'm recalling something...wait a minute...it's almost here... Concerned Christian Conservative.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at March 28, 2014 12:11 PM (oFCZn)

26 Just got back from the gun range, ready to start homeschooling all nine kids. My sister-wives were busy beating the Devil out of a haunted set of curtains, so I picked up the mail. I couldn't believe my eyes! Our insurance rates have gone from $4,000 a month, without the Gout Plan, to just 14 bucks, with full Gout Coverage!

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 28, 2014 12:11 PM (ZshNr)

27 Posted by: West Town at March 28, 2014 04:09 PM (Y3C5w) If you take all the healthcare costs nationwide, and divide it by the population... it comes out to just about $8500.00 per person... This guy is on chemo, and from other posts he has had a heart attack.... he is leaching off the rest of us if he only pays $62 a month.

Posted by: Romeo13 at March 28, 2014 12:11 PM (84gbM)

28 "Dr" of theology, from the "draw a picture of binky and get a degree" school of theology Posted by: thunderb at March 28, 2014 04:11 PM (zOTsN Dang, my soul aint saved?

Posted by: Misanthopic Humanitarian at March 28, 2014 12:12 PM (HVff2)

29 But on topic, yeah, I wouldn't use "I watch Fox News" as a Conservative credential.  That really stands out as being contrived.  Having said that:


I'm Montgomery Dumfries Gogglesworth IV.  As a member of Skull and Bones, I have supported increasing the power and reach of corporate America and spent most of my life helping my friends get rich by cutting women's salaries and pushing (behind the scenes, of course) for higher profits and more wars to benefit the military-industrial complex.

Imagine my shock and amazement to find that ObamaCare worx!

Posted by: Country Singer at March 28, 2014 12:12 PM (r/e1Q)

30 Last I looked we are spending so much money on obamacare that each actual new enrollie actually is costing us, the US Taxpayer and dumb schmucks who work, about 1/2 million each person

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 28, 2014 12:12 PM (nzKvP)

31 More.... there is no way this guy pays only $62 a month without HUGE subsidies. So even though he says he is a Conservative... he is part of the Free Shit Electorate (I will not call them an army, as I have too much respect for the military).. Posted by: Romeo13 his facebook says he supports the Chrones charities

Posted by: thunderb at March 28, 2014 12:12 PM (zOTsN)

32 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at March 28, 2014 12:12 PM (PYAXX)

33 Just got back from the gun range, ready to start homeschooling all nine kids. My sister-wives were busy beating the Devil out of a haunted set of curtains, so I picked up the mail. I couldn't believe my eyes! Our insurance rates have gone from $4,000 a month, without the Gout Plan, to just 14 bucks, with full Gout Coverage!

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 28, 2014 04:11 PM (ZshNr)



I'm sorry, I couldn't get past "beating the Devil out of a haunted set of curtains."  


*ROLLING!*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/u][/i][/s][/b] at March 28, 2014 12:13 PM (4df7R)

34 Hi, I'm Bill Prescott. On my way to Hobby Lobby, I stopped by a Chic-Fil-A to get a #1 with extra pickles. I usually eat while I read the latest from The Blaze, but decided to give the ACA website a shot. I'll be durned if the thing wasn't the most easy-to-navigate website I've encountered in quite some time. And the prices? Well, let me just tell you that I was very pleased. ACA rocks!

Posted by: Matticus at March 28, 2014 12:13 PM (0Mr4u)

35 He also admits to "editing" the letter with help from the Obama Admin: I know this might not be popular with friends and family but I am having the most incredible time of my life right now. Months ago I wrote President Obama letting him know I am a staunch Republican, never voted for him, lost my insurance because of Obamacare. I went through the nightmare signing up for the healthcare plan. But I finally got through and got incredible insurance an incredible price. Though not a fan of him, I am so happy with the Affordable Care Act. It works. Last night while at work my phone rang with an "unavailable" listing. I usually do not answer those calls but I did. My heart dropped to my stomach. It was President Barack Obama. My letter was chosen as one of the ten letters he responds to every day. He asked if he could use my letter in the healthcare.gov website and a television commercial. Of course I agreed. Got an email from the Executive to the President today asking if she could call me tonight to go over details of the letter so she can forward a final draft to the President. Awaiting the call. Whether you like or hate the President, you have to realize you are talking to the most powerful person on the planet. I still do not care for him but do and will support his healthcare plan as it worked for me. 4Share Carol Didricksen I am like you, a Republican - but WOW! Nice to hear he connects with all people and does reach out to the average American. I'd be pretty excited too! WOW!!! 20 hours ago · 1 Mark D Bearden It is incredible as i just got off the phone with the white house with a first Draft of my letter which i made changes to. And they also warned me that i may become a target whether positive or negative to the media. 20 hours ago · 1 Luke Armstrong Is it possible for you to post your letter here on Facebook? I'd be interested in reading what you had to say. 19 hours ago Mark D Bearden I will do that tomorrow as a final Draft has been sent to the President for approval. There were three changes that we agreed upon. None changing my view on the President which is not positive. Just minor wording. I am supposed to get a call back from the White House in the morning sometime. 19 hours ago Ashlee SimplyMe Rushing Wow...I thought u were kidding...! 19 hours ago Mark D Bearden Um, no. And still going back and forth tonight about the wording. 19 hours ago

Posted by: Lauren at March 28, 2014 12:13 PM (hFL/3)

36 He lies, just like any other democrat cocksucker.

Posted by: Killerdog at March 28, 2014 12:13 PM (VKDkW)

37 Even though I barely finished the 6th grade and am semi-illiterate, I'm taking the time to write so I can let all my Christian brothers and sisters know that Obamacare works! Wee doggie, at last me and ma will be able to get some teefs. Sincerely, Bubba Gump

Posted by: Dancing Queen at March 28, 2014 12:13 PM (F3WsD)

38 I'm Tim, I'm a conservative, I hardly ever watch Fox news, certainly didn't vote for Obama, and I have a PhD(c) in healthcare ethics. I'm here to tell you that at best Obamacare is a top down form of wealth transfer that is fundamentally incompatible with this countries principles. Plus it's philosophically unsound. Wait, that's not fake, that's real!

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at March 28, 2014 12:13 PM (HDwDg)

39 Thanks, Ace. Thanks, commenters.

Posted by: DM at March 28, 2014 12:14 PM (Ztudx)

40 "Hi. I'm an incredibly stupid and unaware Low Information Voter. I have no opinions of my own, but I based my votes and poll answers on what I perceive is the "trending" answer of people I perceive as similar to me. My population is dwindling, but the scammers and political operative still seek to manipulate the few remaining people like me with obvious lies. I welcome all deception, because otherwise I wouldn't know what to think!"

Posted by: zombie at March 28, 2014 12:14 PM (mizYg)

41 A conservative would say something like:

"I'm a genuine conservative who believes in unleashing the power of the individual to make his own choices and own fate as his conscience and talent might dictate, and I'm aghast at Obama's continuing erosion of the individual in order to aggrandize the state..."

So you're saying conservatives all talk like they're giving one of those really, really long speeches in Ayn Rand's books? 

Posted by: CQD at March 28, 2014 12:14 PM (4iOIE)

42 Isn't the "self-proclaimed" understood seeing as he is proclaiming this about himself?

Posted by: Michael at March 28, 2014 12:14 PM (smKbx)

43 Another tell, from the Faceplant page: Recent activity, "Mark likes George W. Bush." Just boostin' those rethuglican credentials. Fake. Fraud. Fuckwad.

Posted by: jakeman at March 28, 2014 12:14 PM (vH4YP)

44 If you asked me to write down ten things that make me a conservative, Fox News would not be on the list. F***, it wouldn't be on any list, even if I could list out fifty reasons. Zacly...

Posted by: eleven at March 28, 2014 12:14 PM (GXZgZ)

45 LOL. Com'on guys. You have try to make t sound realistic-realistic according to an Obama supporter, I mean. ;^)

Posted by: Tina Smiles at March 28, 2014 12:14 PM (XyM/Y)

46 Last I looked we are spending so much money on obamacare that each actual new enrollie actually is costing us, the US Taxpayer and dumb schmucks who work, about 1/2 million each person Really......I am gonna need a second job. Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at March 28, 2014 04:13 PM (OWjjx) Don't worry we have this private slush fund to fund this: It used to be called the Defense Budget

Posted by: Democrats at March 28, 2014 12:15 PM (nzKvP)

47 I thought rethuglikkkans didn't go to grad school?  Especially in a major that would be so unproductive as to allow them to get a large enough subsidy to get a $62/mo 'premium.'.

Posted by: phreshone at March 28, 2014 12:15 PM (kFxpe)

48 As a severely conservative Republican, I really hate Obama. Not because he's a shitty president, but because he's black.


So anyway, a couple months ago I was leaving the monthly Klan rally and saw a gay wedding going on across the street. Naturally, I went over and curb stomped  those queermos one after the other until all of a sudden, I broke my foot.


Three months later, my foot is all healed up and I didn't pay jack shit. Thanks, Obamacare!

Posted by: Tex Texas at March 28, 2014 12:15 PM (W7ffl)

49 "I am a staunch Republican, a self-proclaimed Fox News addict, and I didn't vote for the President. And I'm here to tell you that Obamacare works. I'm living proof." Who also stopped reading. Right. Fucking. There?

Posted by: tangonine at March 28, 2014 12:15 PM (x3YFz)

50 I hate uppity women, black welfare queens, and gays gettin' all up in my face as much as the next Republican -- but man do I love Obamacare! It's almost as awesome as Dale Jr! Almost.

Posted by: Separate but Stupid at March 28, 2014 12:16 PM (ZPrif)

51 SO

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 28, 2014 12:16 PM (nzKvP)

52 Mark also says on Jan 21 of this year: "heading to SC for two days to spend time with the family. And if you haven't figured it out yet, I am now under Obamacare and it sucks just like the man who created it!!!"

Posted by: Lauren at March 28, 2014 12:16 PM (hFL/3)

53 I can vouch for Mark D. Bearden, Ph.D. as a staunch Republican.

Posted by: John McCain at March 28, 2014 12:16 PM (tf9Ne)

54 " Fox News addict"


So that's what they call Phd's working at MMFA....

Posted by: phreshone at March 28, 2014 12:16 PM (kFxpe)

55 Damn. Wish I was in the mood to play.

Posted by: garrett at March 28, 2014 12:17 PM (3j/+H)

56 I'm like, scared of minorities or something? And like, birth control should be illegal because sperms have souls. But I just saved a ton of money by signing up for Obamacare!

Posted by: Dave M at March 28, 2014 12:17 PM (Vm3v/)

57 Mark Bearden is a very common name but this does not sound right all fingers point to Axelrod

Posted by: thunderb at March 28, 2014 12:17 PM (zOTsN)

58 Posted by: Tex Texas at March 28, 2014 04:15 PM (W7ffl)

-----

** points

"IMPOSTER!!!   INTERLOPER!!!"

....eveybody knows the clan meetings are WEEKLY!!

Posted by: fixerupper at March 28, 2014 12:17 PM (nELVU)

59 Hah......MWR *is* Beth.

Posted by: eleven at March 28, 2014 12:17 PM (GXZgZ)

60 Hi , I'm Burt Toste , life long Republican and NRA member. I am presently in an Iron Lung . I was paying 5000 a month for insurance until it was cancelled. I quickly signed up for the Affordable Care Act and now they pay me 1000 a month to let them insure me. I also muster learned they will upgrade my Iron Lung to Titanium free of charge. Everyone should sign up for ACA .

Posted by: Burt Toste at March 28, 2014 12:17 PM (1rEgY)

61 I am true republican. I am born in hay-barn on corn farm in (your state). I am tell you that Obamacare is good. If it were not good, would not be mandatory. If neighbor does not obamacare, you must report. If no report, then kulak. James Johns

Posted by: Komissar Vladimir at March 28, 2014 12:17 PM (sBegS)

62 For the record: I am not a republican. Not a liberal. Not a conservative. Not a hippie. I'm a guy who wants to be left the fuck alone and not charged for it.

Posted by: tangonine at March 28, 2014 12:17 PM (x3YFz)

63 As a severely conservative Republican and assault rifle-owning Christian, I know I sleep better at night now that my heteronormative, middle-class family unit is happily insured.  Obamacare works.

Posted by: Skeeter Davis in Flat Rock, Indiana at March 28, 2014 12:18 PM (2jF2B)

64 This guy is exactly as real as Mary Cloggenstein. And I salute her sockmaster.


Posted by: West at March 28, 2014 12:18 PM (1Rgee)

65 Mark Bearden is a very common name but this does not sound right all fingers point to Axelrod Posted by: thunderb at March 28, 2014 04:17 PM (zOTsN) I thought his name was Mark Biteme

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 28, 2014 12:18 PM (nzKvP)

66 60 Mark Bearden is a very common name This is definitely the guy. No question about it. His most recent post is about chumming it up with Obama over the phone. https://www.facebook.com/mark.d.bearden

Posted by: Lauren at March 28, 2014 12:18 PM (hFL/3)

67 Bearden.... Isn't that Mooch's Secret Service call sign????

Posted by: phreshone at March 28, 2014 12:18 PM (kFxpe)

68 it would be funny if false "Bearding" is in the name

Posted by: thunderb at March 28, 2014 12:19 PM (zOTsN)

69 LOL

Posted by: Good Lt at March 28, 2014 12:19 PM (iwHxr)

70 Yes Lincolntf -- that was f'ng classic.

Posted by: eleven at March 28, 2014 12:19 PM (GXZgZ)

71 Hah......MWR *is* Beth.

Posted by: eleven at March 28, 2014 04:17 PM (GXZgZ)


---


she's also buxom......  tall...... and now apparently..... Mormon.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 28, 2014 12:19 PM (nELVU)

72 I posted in the previous thread that he wasn't so enamored of Obamacare two months ago: Mark D Bearden January 21 heading to SC for two days to spend time with the family. And if you haven't figured it out yet, I am now under Obamacare and it sucks just like the man who created it!!! And this from Nov. 2012: November 3, 2012 OMG! New Jersey Chris Christi has endorsed Obama! The worst president in the history of this country! He is an idiot! Thank god my parent's have a home in nj. I will register to cote there and I will do everything in my power to make sure that ninacoop will never serve another term. What a fricken idiot!

Posted by: Tami [/i][/b][/u][/s] at March 28, 2014 12:20 PM (bCEmE)

73 I wouldn't have doubted him if he said he was a Staunch RINO.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at March 28, 2014 12:20 PM (IXrOn)

74 Hi, I'm Betsy Smith!
I am an ultra-right conservative who attends an Evangelical church and home schools my 10 kids because I don't want them in a godless public school. In my spare time I like to shop at Walmart, hunt, and read bible stories to my kin who live in the same trailer park.

I had heard about how awful Obamacare was from my friends at the local NRA club, but boy was I wrong....

Posted by: Lizzy at March 28, 2014 12:20 PM (udjuE)

75 Bite me barkycare, bite me big time!

Posted by: Killerdog at March 28, 2014 12:20 PM (VKDkW)

76 A couple of the places say this guy is a retired psychologist. Wouldn't he get Medicare?

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 28, 2014 12:20 PM (659DL)

77 70 Bearden.... Isn't that Mooch's Secret Service call sign???? Posted by: phreshone at March 28, 2014 04:18 PM (kFxpe) so not "Warf?"

Posted by: tangonine at March 28, 2014 12:20 PM (x3YFz)

78 30% of FB identities are phony and a 2 dollar bill or obama's transcripts

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 28, 2014 12:20 PM (nzKvP)

79 A plan for $62 a month means heavily subsidized. A Ph.D. must not pay much where he is.

Posted by: Javems at March 28, 2014 12:20 PM (nTgAI)

80

I am a severe conservative.  I have a Sean Hannity bobblehead on my dashboard.  I write fan fiction to the American Rifleman the way my college roommate wrote letters to Penthouse. 

 

I know for a fact that Obama was born in Keynesia.  I drink Bud for the taste, and also because those froo-froo beers from Belgium are made of pure communism.  And I used to think I hated Obamacare.

 

But that all changed when I got the clap from my sister.  Obamacare cures everything.

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at March 28, 2014 12:21 PM (JtwS4)

81 This is definitely the guy. No question about it. His most recent post is about chumming it up with Obama over the phone.


Yeah.  I'm still shaking after Barry's call about ACA

Posted by: John Roberts at March 28, 2014 12:21 PM (kFxpe)

82 You know how you can tell I'm a died-in-the-wool Republican? Because I was in Iraq and I shot at a lot of people with rags on their heads. And I still shoot, that's why I needed me some healthcare.

See, me and Clebe were out hunting deer and I sneezed, so he accidentally discharged his weapon in my direction. Well, on the way to the ER, I just logged onto that guv site and signed me right up.

Shoot, I didn't even have to pay for my crutches.

That's how I became a believer in Obamacare. He save my leg.

Posted by: I.M. Cerius at March 28, 2014 12:21 PM (ESQRH)

83 This letter couldn't be more bullshit if it was actually a pile of steaming fecal matter that came from the rectal cavity of a bovine.

Posted by: DangerGirl at March 28, 2014 12:22 PM (GrtrJ)

84 I'm a Walter Wisczek of OH and I've worked at the tool and die factory here in town for 40 years, like my father before me and his father before that. We are hard working, patriotic Americans and I can honestly tell you I haven't been at all pleased with some of the decisions made by the President. Still, times are tough so I thought I would check out what's going on with Obamacare and I have say I was really surprised. The rates are affordable. and I have noticed no change in the quality of my heathcare. Now it doesn't mean that I will always support the President, but I have to tell you I was wrong about Obamacare. I wouldn't expect you to take my work for it though. Check it out yourself!

Posted by: Walter Wisczek at March 28, 2014 12:22 PM (XyM/Y)

85 Im a typical Republican, a real Republican! Im a snake-handler who takes the Bible literally and believes that evolution and bigbang are lies straight from the fiery pit of hell, Im the proud owner of a Rush Limbaugh t-shirt collection, I have the faces of Karl Rove and Ronald Reagan tatooed on my chest and Im the chairman of our local "Barack Obama is from Kennya - Deport him NOW" Group! I never voted for Barack Obama or any other Democrat and I hate everything these anti-American, Kennyan-President importing traitor-commies stand for. But Im here to tell you that the Affordable Care Act is caring and affordable and that the government is here to help you and that Ive seen the future and ITS WORKS!!!

Posted by: Typical Republican at March 28, 2014 12:22 PM (k0mcV)

86 facebook says teen mission international is a like for him at their website, from him I recently sent you my resume for your youth position opening. I wanted to send you an updated version via e-mail and let you know that I am still available for the right position. I just earned, this past week, my Bachelor of Ministry (with a 3.72 GPA) and will begin my Master of Christian Counseling work via accredited correspondence shortly. I hope this might be an exciting addition to my qualifications and help in your overwhelming decision-making process. In His Service, Mark D. Bearden Philippians 4:19 he is a tent revival preacher no money used to snake oil sales

Posted by: thunderb at March 28, 2014 12:22 PM (zOTsN)

87 As an assault conservative, Limbaugh dotto-head, and proud Hannitizerer, I just want to say Obamacare is as awesome as concealer carry! Maybe more.

Posted by: Separate but Stupid at March 28, 2014 12:22 PM (ZPrif)

88 They are following a script. This is what Obama for America give them.

Posted by: Lester at March 28, 2014 12:22 PM (2UPXV)

89 My name's Taylor Emory.   I'm the founder of my college's   Conservatives for Christ club, and an ardent    anti-abortion     advocate.   I have been opposed to the Affordable Care Act since day one because of its stance on federally subsidized abortions and abortifacients.   Anyone who knows me will tell you that I have been the loudest opponent to Obamacare in my family, my classrooms, and even the   Op-Ed   section of the    local   paper.     I    was   convinced  that anyone who let themselves be   corrupted by the lies of the Obama administration about the benefits of the ACA were nothing but gullible fools and liberals.


That is, until I was diagnosed with   esophageal cancer and couldn't get insurance.


That's when Obamacare saved my life.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/u][/i][/s][/b] at March 28, 2014 12:23 PM (4df7R)

90 Hi, I'm B. I'm either conservative or libertarian on most issues. I am definitely not a fan of the current administration, but I do have insurance through the healthcare marketplace! Now, if I could just get a job, I could pay for it. :/

Posted by: Brick at March 28, 2014 12:23 PM (XKvRD)

91 79 A couple of the places say this guy is a retired psychologist.

Wouldn't he get Medicare?

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 28, 2014 04:20 PM (659DL)

 

Only if he's 65 or older, is disabled or has ESRD.

Posted by: Insomniac at March 28, 2014 12:23 PM (DrWcr)

92 1. As I said in the other thread.. one article says he's a retired psychologist.  LIB!

2.  A chemo patient on private insurance would never have been paying $424 a month.  It's eff'n ridiculous.

3. To be only paying $62/month he would have to be very low income- probably upper $30k.  A "retired" psychologist doesn't get a pension?  He also mentions he has a job.  Fishy.

Even if all of that is true, as you say Ace, Obamacare is a real good deal for some.  there is no denying that.  The chronically ill, poor and uninsurable now have a place to get cheap subsidized insurance... on our dime.


Posted by: Chitown-Jerry at March 28, 2014 12:23 PM (Z7PrM)

93 Posted by: Lizzy at March 28, 2014 04:20 PM (udjuE) Kicking back to the degree thread? You just brought Phoenix University School of Women's Studies to a 600 level physics exam at MIT.

Posted by: tangonine at March 28, 2014 12:23 PM (x3YFz)

94 Hola. Mi nombre esta Jaime Maldonado. Soy mui conservativo. Totalamente! Reformation del la immigracion esta muy bien. ¡Y Obamacare tambien! ¡Serioso, muchachos!

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at March 28, 2014 12:23 PM (g4TxM)

95 obamacare is more fucked up than my Men's NCAA Basketball brackets. And that's the truth

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 28, 2014 12:23 PM (nzKvP)

96 Bad Mother is right...$62.00 a month my ass. Cost me more than that for Love Long Time with a Happy Ending x2. I say Bullshit.....again.

Posted by: IrishEd at March 28, 2014 12:24 PM (bfm04)

97

Hell with all you RINOs I'm the Real Conservative!

 

I'm all like *pew pew pew 'Merica!* with my big ass 1911 pistola and chewing 'baccy and shit. All.The.Time. And Fox News, too. Love that BOR guy what's lookin' out fer meeeee

Posted by: Bigby's Thumbnails at March 28, 2014 12:24 PM (3ZtZW)

98 Hi, I'm Ronnie.

I'm a former Democrat, now hardcore Republican, who stood up to an Evil Empire and ended a Cold War. I'm not alive anymore, but if I were, I want to tell you that I would definitely sign up for Obamacare!

Posted by: zombie Ronald Reagan at March 28, 2014 12:24 PM (08jH8)

99 This letter couldn't be more bullshit if it was actually a pile of steaming fecal matter that came from the rectal cavity of a bovine.

Posted by: DangerGirl at March 28, 2014 04:22 PM (GrtrJ)



POETRY.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/u][/i][/s][/b] at March 28, 2014 12:24 PM (4df7R)

100 A plan for $62 a month means heavily subsidized. A Ph.D. must not pay much where he is.

Posted by: Javems at March 28, 2014 04:20 PM (nTgAI)


That PhD in Womyn's Studies qualifying him for a job plus tips at Pancake Heaven made him eligible for the $62 Cubic Zirconia plan subsidies!

Posted by: Hrothgar at March 28, 2014 12:24 PM (o3MSL)

101 I'm Cliff Redmond, and am a lifelong Republican Christian Conservative. I did not vote for Obama because he was secretly born another country. I forget which, the one with all the colored people. Quebec I think. An injury I sustained while taking part in a lynching after a big meth binge has left me with a pre-existing condition that prevents me from getting traditional medical care. At times the pain in my back is so severe I can't even make love to my sister. At least not in the "normal" way like God intended. While trying to distract me from beating my sister-wife for nagging me about the moonshine still, my nephew-son showed my all the Obamacare options available to me. I shot the computer for being the work of the Devil, but a local navigator was able to take my information over the phone and get me enrolled. Thanks to the Affordable Care Act, I can now afford things I never thought possible. It's enabled me to buy Copenhagen instead of that cheap Grizzly stuff, and even a shirt with sleeves on it. Thanks, Obama!

Posted by: Hollowpoint at March 28, 2014 12:24 PM (SY2Kh)

102 Um wait, a PHd (probably earns a good living) on chemo and paying only $62 a month? C'mon, that's ridiculous.

Posted by: Bill Mitchell at March 28, 2014 12:24 PM (+9xNn)

103 And this from Nov. 2012

I'm starting to think some staffer at FB made this all up. 

Posted by: HR at March 28, 2014 12:24 PM (ZKzrr)

104 Fake, fake, fake, fake, fake.

Posted by: Elaine Benes at March 28, 2014 12:24 PM (0N9lD)

105 98 Hola. Mi nombre esta Jaime Maldonado. Soy mui conservativo. Totalamente! Reformation del la immigracion esta muy bien. ¡Y Obamacare tambien! ¡Serioso, muchachos!

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at March 28, 2014 04:23 PM (g4TxM)

 

Muy bien, mi amigo!

Posted by: Juan McCain at March 28, 2014 12:24 PM (DrWcr)

106 EDUCATION 2000 Andersonville Baptist Seminary Camilla, Georgia Bachelor of Ministry (graduated Magna Cum Laude) 1981 - 1983 Franklin University Columbus, Ohio Bachelor of Business Administration 1995 ­ 1999 Liberty University Lynchburg, Virginia Studies in Psychology (with emphasis on youth) Currently working on Master of Christian Counseling (through accredited correspondence studies). Professional Experience 1995 ­ Present Teen Missions International, Inc. Merritt Island, Florida Missionary working with teens‹Training and development of youth and in office‹Overseas Boot Camp Department. 1989 ­ 1995 Quick Stop Convenient Stores Atlanta, Georgia Area Manager 1983 ­ 1989 Wendy¹s International, Inc. Dublin, Ohio Multi-Unit Manager Professional Memberships Christian Motorcyclists Association, Servants Ministry Team Class B‹CDL Licensed Bus Driver Community Activities Deacon, King Street Baptist Church, Cocoa, Florida Youth and Missions Committees Availability January, 2001 References Available Upon Request

Posted by: thunderb at March 28, 2014 12:24 PM (zOTsN)

107 So one more time: If you still need health insurance, you have just three days to get it. Do what I did. Go to HealthCare.gov, submit an application, and pick a plan that works for you. It just might change your life. Mark D. Bearden, Ph.D. Monroe, North Carolina This guy is as real as a Styrofoam Ionic Column.

Posted by: garrett at March 28, 2014 12:24 PM (3j/+H)

108 Obamacare will give you the security that can never dream of.

Posted by: Ambassador Stevens at March 28, 2014 12:25 PM (kFxpe)

109 Hi, I am a staunch conservative, and my sister in law earns $18,000 a montht since she signed up for obamacare!!! Working from home!!

Posted by: pj at March 28, 2014 12:25 PM (ZWaLo)

110 Hi! I'm a teabagging, bitter clinging Baptist and NRA member. I am a Grand Kleagle in my local KKK chapter and to say that I absolutely hate homos, black people, wetbacks and slant eyes would be an understatement. I was all set to be against Obamacare because it was passed by our mulatto President. I have to tell you, though, when my only 3 rotten teeth got infected and made my heart valve grow all kinds of vegetation and sh*t, I had to have emergency surgery. Right before I called 911, I signed up for Obamacare. I was amazed at the ease of doing so since I had heard all sorts of horror stories. By the time the medics arrived to my rural home, I had my insurance in hand and could thus be treated by them and the amazing medical staff at Generic General Medical Center. Those people were amazing! I owe my life to Obamacare, and thought I am loathe to admit it, I am forever indebted to our half black president. Thank you, President Obama! I will vote for you long after I am dead, again and again and again!

Posted by: Whitey McWhiterson at March 28, 2014 12:25 PM (o6g4X)

111

I may not be a supporter of the President. But now, I get mad when I see Obamacare dragged through the mud on television.

 

 

that right there tells me he is a progressive

Posted by: kj at March 28, 2014 12:25 PM (lKyWE)

112 Nice find, Thunderb! Phony baloney theological Ph.D (if that). Considering he talks about his job as involving making party platters and closing at 11, I'm guessing what he really does is work at Target or something in the deli section.

Posted by: Lauren at March 28, 2014 12:25 PM (hFL/3)

113 As a proud member of Christians for Christ in Christianity, I just want to say Obamacare is the truest embodiment of Christ I've ever experienced.

Posted by: Separate but Stupid at March 28, 2014 12:25 PM (ZPrif)

114 93 All you haters are just made because President Obama's Affordable Health Care Act is even working even for bigots like you. The people of Bartlesboro, Vermont salute President Obama for insuring all Americans, whether documented or undocumented, even if some of them are too stupid to realize it is for their own good. Posted by: Mary Cloggenstein of Bartelsboro, Vermont, who can vouch for Mark. at March 28, 2014 04:23 PM (OWjjx) mad, not "made" NEXT!

Posted by: tangonine at March 28, 2014 12:25 PM (x3YFz)

115 55 Mark also says on Jan 21 of this year: "heading to SC for two days to spend time with the family. And if you haven't figured it out yet, I am now under Obamacare and it sucks just like the man who created it!!!" Posted by: Lauren at March 28, 2014 04:16 PM (hFL/3) -------------------------- Hah! So it was awful in January but is wonderful now?!? WTF?

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at March 28, 2014 12:25 PM (dfYL9)

116 You just brought Phoenix University School of Women's Studies to a 600 level physics exam at MIT. That's the UNIVERSITY OF PHOENIX. Hater.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 28, 2014 12:25 PM (659DL)

117 113 Hi, I am a staunch conservative, and my sister in law earns $18,000 a montht since she signed up for obamacare!!! Working from home!!

Posted by: pj at March 28, 2014 04:25 PM (ZWaLo)

 

Well-played.

Posted by: Insomniac at March 28, 2014 12:25 PM (DrWcr)

118 Tex Texas at March 28, 2014 04:15 PM (W7ffl) ----- ** points "IMPOSTER!!! INTERLOPER!!!" ....eveybody knows the clan meetings are WEEKLY!! Posted by: fixerupper IMPOSTER! INTERLOPER! Bi-weekly!

Posted by: rickb223 at March 28, 2014 12:25 PM (ndIek)

119 Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) at March 28, 2014 04:23 PM (4df7R) You're very good at this. ;^) Try submitting a letter to the President and perhaps you too could have the stomach churning experience of speaking to President Obama.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 28, 2014 12:25 PM (XyM/Y)

120 "But now, I get mad when I see Obamacare dragged through the mud on television." That's how you know he's fake. A real staunch Republican would have blamed a Republican.

Posted by: Chris_Balsz at March 28, 2014 12:25 PM (5xmd7)

121 I will report to the barrel but he is a snake oil preacher who got his advanced degree by correspondence

Posted by: thunderb at March 28, 2014 12:25 PM (zOTsN)

122 Mary Cloggenstien, here's your big chance to be famous...

Posted by: tu3031 at March 28, 2014 12:26 PM (nsQhi)

123 Hi! I'm P. Nis from Wala Wala... and I just have to say that the Affordable Care Act is the best thing since sliced Zuchini! Its allowed me to stop working all together... and now I can live off of unemployment, and still have Health Insurance... for FREE!!! Its allowed me to follow my dream to become a Nude Sexual Performance Artist! So... thanks America... this future Porn Star would never be able to realize his dreams without you paying for it... I would call you suckers... but in my line of work... that's a good thing...

Posted by: Romeo13 at March 28, 2014 12:26 PM (84gbM)

124 Hi , I'm a republican that thinks no, KNOWS that my dog is smarter than Joe Biden . And Joe Biden said that obamacare is a big """"""" deal . My dog remains without health insurance that covers his diarrhea . Signed Juan Danger Carlos

Posted by: DrDrill at March 28, 2014 12:26 PM (sOFZs)

125 i like guns n i like babies n now i like obamacare becuz it saved my babies life after i shot it with my gun

Posted by: Krazy Konservative Konvert at March 28, 2014 12:26 PM (/FnUH)

126 Heheh...you guys are teh funneh.


Posted by: dananjcon at March 28, 2014 12:26 PM (NpXoL)

127 My name is Bruce Springbean. I come from down in the valley Where mister when you're young They bring you up to do like your daddy done Me and Mary we met in high school When she was just seventeen We'd ride out of that valley down to where the fields were green Then I got Mary pregnant And man that was all she wrote And for my nineteenth birthday I got a union card and a wedding coat We went down to the courthouse And the judge put it all to rest No wedding day smiles no walk down the aisle No flowers no wedding dress I got a job working construction for the Johnstown Company But lately there ain't been much work on account of the economy Now all them things that seemed so important Well mister they vanished right into the air Now I just act like I don't remember Mary acts like she don't care But now I got Obamacare for me, Mary and the little bastard for free. And let me tell you it works.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 28, 2014 12:26 PM (g1DWB)

128 Teen Missions International, Inc.

Are they hiring???

Posted by: Harry Reid is a pederast at March 28, 2014 12:26 PM (kFxpe)

129 Hah! So it was awful in January but is wonderful now?!? WTF? He probably lost his job and finally qualified for subsidies.

Posted by: garrett at March 28, 2014 12:26 PM (3j/+H)

130 Apply, and look at your options ----- Typically, you look at your options then apply.

Posted by: SH at March 28, 2014 12:26 PM (gmeXX)

131 Is it idiot trollapalooza day? Have the whole Dayquil thing going so I'm a little fuzzy. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Posted by: tangonine at March 28, 2014 12:27 PM (x3YFz)

132 When I was finally able to get out from under my father (he passed out on me again), I told my eight kids to go dig some taters.  I got on Facebook to support the troops, when I decided to try the Obamacare thing I had heard so much about.  Hot damn!  I am enrolled and can finally afford to have an abortion!

Posted by: kathysaysso at March 28, 2014 12:27 PM (6H6o8)

133 Obamacare will give you the security that can never dream of. .....in the camps.....

Posted by: rickb223 at March 28, 2014 12:27 PM (ndIek)

134 Do these $62 a month plans have deductibles? Co-pays? Limits?

Posted by: Seems legit at March 28, 2014 12:27 PM (A98Xu)

135 The only thing missing from his "authentic" letter is the phrase "this one easy trick!"

Posted by: zombie at March 28, 2014 12:27 PM (mizYg)

136 Estupido 'spell check. Reformation = Reformacion. Madre de Dios.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at March 28, 2014 12:27 PM (g4TxM)

137 137 Obamacare will give you the security that can never dream of.


.....in the camps.....

Posted by: rickb223 at March 28, 2014 04:27 PM (ndIek)

 

In the Ghettoooooooo

Posted by: Insomniac at March 28, 2014 12:27 PM (DrWcr)

138 Posted by: Javems at March 28, 2014 04:20 PM (nTgAI) Googlign pulls up a Linked in Profile which might match. Education is right, age looks about right. If it's accurate he's worked at a huge company for 20 years. So yeah, I'm crying bullshit.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at March 28, 2014 12:27 PM (HDwDg)

139 Is this supposed to be funny in like an ironic kind of way?

Do you mean Tea-baggers don't curb stomp homo's?

Posted by: OFA Drone #@ at March 28, 2014 12:27 PM (NpXoL)

140 >>>It's the best health care I have ever had.<<<

Who talks like this?   I mean, if he was shooting the breeze about blowjobs, okay, but healthcare? 

Regards,

Staunch in Monroe

Posted by: Fritz at March 28, 2014 12:28 PM (UzPAd)

141 Hey I got a great deal on obamacare and I only have to travel 3 States over to find a Doc. And he says he will know English in a few months. Sweet deal

Posted by: Bumfuckstupidvoter at March 28, 2014 12:28 PM (nzKvP)

142 Hiya! My name is Pussy, Pussy Galore. Lemme tell ya, when my sista from anotha mutha, Sandy Fluke (luv ya, hon!) scored us workin' girls the free contrabassoons, er, contraceptives, my meth budget doubled. Overnight, beeyotches!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] at March 28, 2014 12:28 PM (gmtFW)

143
Doctor Bearden only pays $62 a month, and I consider him to be a piker.  I hated ObamaCare until the opportunity presented to fully explore and develop my options for complete coverage.  Much to my surprise,  my new policy costs the princely sum of $12 each month, and even more amazing, I make about 82K/year.  I'm a very lucky guy who just hit the Lotto. 

There must a few hard working men and women toiling for benefit so the $12 monthly is a great deal for me. Working their asses off for my benefit makes me feel good, and PT Barnum was correct, "there's a sucker born every minute." 

Suck it up members of the proletariat and get used to making it happen for me.  Oh by the way, I plan on applying for food stamps next week to round out my portfolio of equal risk.  My benefit and your risk!

Posted by: Dudley P. Finsterwald, Liberal When Necessary at March 28, 2014 12:28 PM (nQjHM)

144 It's the superficiality of his "staunch Republican" credentials. ... The only thing that comes to mind by "staunch Republican" is another LIV who votes Republican straight ticket no matter what.

Posted by: panzernashorn at March 28, 2014 12:28 PM (/vO0r)

145 OK the guy's FB page has a post that he just got home from work and put out over 30 party platters but didn't know what was going on.

Whether he's a PhD or not, he's got a crap job working for minimum wage as a caterer.  This is why he's so heavily subsidized......until he's not.

Bwahahahahahahaha!!

Posted by: GatorGirl at March 28, 2014 12:28 PM (oj2UX)

146 129 i like guns n i like babies n now i like obamacare becuz it saved my babies life after i shot it with my gun

Posted by: Krazy Konservative Konvert at March 28, 2014 04:26 PM (/FnUH)



THREAD.


WINNER.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit (or Beth for short) [/u][/i][/s][/b] at March 28, 2014 12:28 PM (4df7R)

147 My name is Fred Jones and I have always been a redneck hick Republican since I was borned.  I would never ever ever vote for a Democrat, I'd rather jump into a mud pit filled with alligators.  But Obamacare works!  My wife and first cousin Althea needed a windpipe replacement after she ran her tractor into a barbwire fence and she only had to pay ten dollars and three chickens.  So when I hear city folk say that that there Obamacare doesn't work, I get so mad that I have to go out and shoot up the trailer park with my assault rifle that was okayed by the NRA.  God Bless America!

Posted by: DangerGirl at March 28, 2014 12:28 PM (GrtrJ)

148 Typically, you look at your options then apply. Posted by: SH at March 28, 2014 04:26 PM (gmeXX) Not for Obamacare. Remember, you have to apply first so they can show you your subsidized price- heaven forbid you see the real rate you'd be paying.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at March 28, 2014 12:28 PM (PYAXX)

149 Lincolntf made me LOL until I had tears streaming, then Tex Texas made me choke from laughing. Does Obamacare cover the damage from splitting one's sides with laughter?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 28, 2014 12:28 PM (DmNpO)

150 Typically, you look at your options then apply. In Obamaworld, everything's backwards, so he's technically correct.

Posted by: jakeman at March 28, 2014 12:29 PM (vH4YP)

151 busy beating the Devil out of a haunted set of curtains

Those are Doxies.

/Harry Potter nerd

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at March 28, 2014 12:29 PM (44jNh)

152 Posted by: Krazy Konservative Konvert at March 28, 2014 04:26 PM

I want you to know that the receptionist just came into my office to see if I was dying from the noises I was making laughing.

Posted by: Lester at March 28, 2014 12:29 PM (2UPXV)

153 Hey how come my obamacare medicine says to wrap pill in bacon to fool your dog?

Posted by: Bumfuckstupidvoter at March 28, 2014 12:29 PM (nzKvP)

154 Considering he talks about his job as involving making party platters and closing at 11, I'm guessing what he really does is work at Target or something in the deli section. Posted by: Lauren at March 28, 2014 04:25 PM (hFL/3) That fits with the linked profile actually. It says he works at "US foods"

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at March 28, 2014 12:29 PM (HDwDg)

155 Something doesn't add up with ole Mark. He's a retired physiologist, PHD NOT MD. He retired at 53 ? I am calling bull shit. http://tinyurl.com/nd8ab8j

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 28, 2014 12:29 PM (0FSuD)

156 Typically, you look at your options then apply.

And depending on your ZIP code, there may only be one option.  And it sucks.

Posted by: HR at March 28, 2014 12:29 PM (ZKzrr)

157 I'm Chip Woods, and I thought I'd take some time out from squeezin' corn to let you fellers know that the Affordable Care Act is good for you and this great country of ours.   

Posted by: Chip Woods at March 28, 2014 12:29 PM (Iyg03)

158 Woohoo! I got sock-quoted in the main post! Gonna drink double tonight to celebrate, hope the ER accepts my Obamacare!

Posted by: mugiwara at March 28, 2014 12:29 PM (W7ffl)

159 Is Mark D. Bearden, Ph.D. a composite?

Posted by: toby928© at March 28, 2014 12:30 PM (QupBk)

160 144 >>>It's the best health care I have ever had.<<< Firstly, it's not health care, it's health insurance. Secondly, this guy is a ridiculous clown.

Posted by: Seems legit at March 28, 2014 12:30 PM (A98Xu)

161 The name is T. Bellicose Pickens. I'm a long time conservative and Republican. I really laughed off Obamacare until I broke my hand after beating my wife for spending too much at Walmart. I doubted Obamacare could help me. I'd heard the cost would be easily triple what I pay on the trailer I live in. Damned if I wasn't wrong. It paid for both my busted paw AND the wife's shattered eye socket!

Posted by: T. Bellicose Pickens at March 28, 2014 12:30 PM (oFCZn)

162 I'm a guy who wants to be left the fuck alone and not charged for it. Posted by: tangonine at March 28, 2014 04:17 PM (x3YFz Lord, I can appreciate that.

Posted by: Misanthopic Humanitarian at March 28, 2014 12:30 PM (HVff2)

163 Hi I'm John White. I've been a cowboy, rustlin' herds out of Wyomin' for 15 years now. If there's one thing I hate, it's them damn cry me a river liberals. Sure know I didn't vote for that guy whose runnin' the show right now. Lord knows I can stand to even look at him. But I do need to come clean. On my way back from the saloon a few moons back I wrecked my my old Jimmy. Had to spend the night a the 'ole knife and gun club. Too bad, the kids missed their daily beatin'. Well it sure is a good thing I gave Obamacare a chance, turns out it's going to save me a big stack of foundin' fathers. Good thing I'm gonna need'em for that DUI. Obamacare sure helped me out y'all might wanna take a look before enrollment closes.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Laughing Maniacally While Throwing Matches. at March 28, 2014 12:30 PM (0q2P7)

164 You should be thanking me for the overpriced mess I have made for you little people, but I really want to finish my waffles first.

Posted by: Barky O. god incarnated into my great self at March 28, 2014 12:30 PM (VKDkW)

165 So this dude has a fake PhD and specializes in "teen outreach". Sounds like he's a creeper, Uncle Touchy type.

Posted by: Separate but Stupid at March 28, 2014 12:30 PM (ZPrif)

166 Hi, I'm Jane. Just Jane. I only read Ace of Spades HQ's for my news, so I'm steeped in conservatism and live in the Bible Internet Belt. I'm also steeped in pudding, which makes me pro-capitalism. I come here mostly for the Gun Thread. I hate to say it, but, the morons and moronettes are wrong. The ACA has done wonders for me. I do not know why Republicans and conservatives, and libertarians hate the American Camp Association with so much fervor. I thought we were all survivalists at heart, here. Best Regards, Jane

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at March 28, 2014 12:31 PM (IXrOn)

167 So it was awful in January but is wonderful now?!?
WTF? Posted by: Margarita DeVille at March 28, 2014 04:25 PM

I got the impression from his FB postings that he now works for a caterer or a bakery. He also breaks bones a lot: foot and ribs.

He's piss-poor and got a bag of groceries for Thanksgiving, but was recently considering buying a new car at Dale Jarrett Ford.

This guy is phonus-bolonus from the git-go.

And so is Choom Boy and his ACA scam.

I guess when you get a personal phone call from President Historic First© you just can't hold back the tears....

Posted by: MrScribbler at March 28, 2014 12:31 PM (dDzOj)

168 Does Obamacare cover the damage from splitting one's sides with laughter? Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 28, 2014 04:28 PM (DmNpO) $1200 co-pay.

Posted by: tangonine at March 28, 2014 12:31 PM (x3YFz)

169 164 Is Mark D. Bearden, Ph.D. a composite?

Posted by: toby928© at March 28, 2014 04:30 PM (QupBk)

 

Whatever do you mean?

Posted by: Julia at March 28, 2014 12:31 PM (DrWcr)

170 I am Jim subterfuge, As a staunch Republican I can tell you the ACA is the best thing to happen to america since Congress wrote an IOU to the Social Security Trust. I am lost my leg from the knee down in Vietnam saving a platoon of puppies from some drunk Marines. I have been paying thousands of dollars a month in insurance that was cancelled recently because the insurance companies are bad when not controlled by the government. But I was able to go to my local community organizer at the Nigerian Consulate and he helped me fill out the forms to get insurance through the ACA for 123.48$ a month. Now I do not worry about my health at. I have started smoking, drinking whiskey straight (like a man should do) and taking these little yellow and red pills the community organizer gave me. I feel better than ever since i signed up for Obamacare. You can trust me because i am a Arlen Specter Republican and a rocket scientist.

Posted by: elrobalo at March 28, 2014 12:31 PM (wH5Tk)

171 Is Mark D. Bearden, Ph.D. a composite? In many ways, the story of Mark D. Bearden, Ph.D., Fox News Addict, is the story of Obama.

Posted by: jakeman at March 28, 2014 12:31 PM (vH4YP)

172 So this dude has a fake PhD and specializes in "teen outreach". Sounds like he's a creeper, Uncle Touchy type. Posted by: Separate but Stupid at March 28, 2014 04:30 PM (ZPrif) And your point?

Posted by: Harry Reid at March 28, 2014 12:31 PM (nzKvP)

173 It just might change your life. ---- He's got that right.

Posted by: SH at March 28, 2014 12:31 PM (gmeXX)

174 #51 Tex! Hilarious.

Posted by: m at March 28, 2014 12:32 PM (2AqeI)

175

Tie between Tex Texas and pj.

Posted by: Paul at March 28, 2014 12:32 PM (9qDRl)

176

You might say I am a staunch conservative (not a fucking rino bastard) but I don't have the eagle airbrushed on the side of my pickup.

http://tinyurl.com/ax4jmws

Posted by: maddogg at March 28, 2014 12:32 PM (xWW96)

177 lmfao That is all.

Posted by: [/i][/b][/s]akula51 at March 28, 2014 12:32 PM (Mj+L4)

178 Hello. My name is John. I'm a military man and a straight talking conservative. I am so conservative, it has even taken root in my children, especially my politically active hard core Republican daughter of which I am so proud.

I have never been a big fan of President Obama, but I have never felt that we'd have anything to fear with him in the White House. Well let me tell you. I was right. What he has done for healthcare in this country is amazing! So I am advising all my friendsh to take advantage of this wonderful generosity granted us by Obamacare before the March 31st whenever deadline!

Posted by: John M. from Arizona at March 28, 2014 12:32 PM (08jH8)

179 I hear obama ordered a BLT on Saudi Arabia

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 28, 2014 12:32 PM (nzKvP)

180 Thing is - it may work ... FOR HIM ... but there are probably 10 other people it doesn't work for. And in Monroe NC - there may only be one hospital so the insurance literally HAS to be accepted there. Read what Ann Coulter wrote about her insurance nightmare. The problem with Obamacare is that it is a crap shoot, a shell game. If you are LUCKY (and I am not sure this guy is lucky - he has cancer after all) you might get an okay deal. But, there are thousands out there who will get sick and then the nightmare will start - they will go to the hospital and be told that Ocare insurance isn't accepted there and they need to go down to the next county to the nasty little hospital no one wants to go to ...

Posted by: Janetoo at March 28, 2014 12:32 PM (PROOX)

181 Does Obamacare cover the damage from splitting one's sides with laughter? Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 28, 2014 04:28 PM (DmNpO) The ACA is no laughing matter... so no... not covered...

Posted by: HHS Death Panel at March 28, 2014 12:33 PM (84gbM)

182 Hi, I'm Jim and I am an Aceoholic

Posted by: Misanthopic Humanitarian at March 28, 2014 12:33 PM (HVff2)

183 Does any English-speaking human ever refer *to themselves* as "self-proclaimed" anything? Is that a regional thing? To me that sounds like the sort of thing one only says of others, and generally mockingly.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i][/b][/s][/u] at March 28, 2014 12:33 PM (qyfb5)

184 Where ever he was working let him "retire" instead of "shit canned for being worthless".

Yeah, no one's ever lied on Facebook about being fired.

Posted by: HR at March 28, 2014 12:33 PM (ZKzrr)

185 37   Final edit had something to do with "a heinous video"

Posted by: NCwoof at March 28, 2014 12:33 PM (aUQgu)

186 A 'staunch Republican' wouldn't write jack shit either to Obama, or a praise letter proclaiming to every other 'staunch Rep.' that he's a proud FSA member. And warning his fellow staunchies, you only have 3 more days!

Posted by: Schwalbe: The Me-262© at March 28, 2014 12:33 PM (9Bdcz)

187 Break from the comedy (Jeebus, the horde is hitting on every Friday cylinder): Have you noticed that EVERYTHING this administration touches turns into exclusively a marketing/messaging exercise?

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 28, 2014 12:33 PM (659DL)

188 Who did staunch republicans support in the 2012 primary? As a fox-news addict, I'm thinking Newt because he was a pundit on Fox. But I'm not sure.

Posted by: SH at March 28, 2014 12:33 PM (gmeXX)

189 Where ever he was working let him "retire" instead of "shit canned for being worthless". Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at March 28, 2014 04:32 PM (OWjjx) With a PhD that's more likely "shit canned for making up data." (Note to people looking to sue, I'm not saying that's what happened here, I'm saying that given the stats it's merely the most likely).

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at March 28, 2014 12:33 PM (HDwDg)

190 So, I'm amending my original view of "Dr" Mark. Now I'm going with dumb LIV socon type (not that socons are all LIVs, don't kill me guys!) who also has a penchant for exaggeration and fame whoredom. He works at a shit job, making shit money, and probably DOES qualify for a huge subsidy, but is exaggerating things to make his story seem more exciting. He's eating up all the attention, and is basically the perfect useful idiot for Obama.

Posted by: Lauren at March 28, 2014 12:33 PM (hFL/3)

191 Oh, and he's straight up lying about the Ph.D and probably the cancer.

Posted by: Lauren at March 28, 2014 12:34 PM (hFL/3)

192 Posted by: artisanal 'ette at March 28, 2014 04:31 PM (IXrOn) OMG thank you! This flu has me wondering what color green is and I was reading the posts thinking I'd gone mad, then saw your nic and went: "phrew." Sarcasm. I so need to go back to sleep.

Posted by: tangonine at March 28, 2014 12:34 PM (x3YFz)

193 Shit my suppository medicine costs more than $62 a month

Posted by: Al Roker at March 28, 2014 12:34 PM (nzKvP)

194 Posted by: HR at March 28, 2014 04:33 PM (ZKzrr "Contract ended" sounds so much nicer though .

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at March 28, 2014 12:35 PM (HDwDg)

195 Before: Good: Guns, Jesus, Nascar, Tits, Wars, Football. Bad: Gays, Women, Coloreds, Muzzies, Obamacare Now Good: Same as Above - Plus Obamacare Bad: Same as Above - Minus Obamacare

Posted by: Separate but Stupid at March 28, 2014 12:35 PM (ZPrif)

196 Even if all of that is true, as you say Ace, Obamacare is a real good deal for some. there is no denying that. The chronically ill, poor and uninsurable now have a place to get cheap subsidized insurance... on our dime.

Posted by: Chitown-Jerry at March 28, 2014 04:23 PM (Z7PrM)

The wife made the succinct point that it would have probably just been cheaper to offer subsidies (Medicaid Expansion) to the uninsured, and had net positive "insured" individuals in the process.  But they could not sell that to the public either.

Posted by: flounder at March 28, 2014 12:35 PM (Kkt/i)

197 Hi there! My name is Mike Ock, and boy howdy am I the most rootin-tootin rabid right-wing Republican you've ever met! You know, what with all the bad news coming out of my favorite representatives Lindsey Graham and John McCain, I thought this Obamacare business would be a disaster!

But after a dust up outside the local Anti-Science Society with some eco-terrorists I wound up with a pretty nasty bite from one of their critters. Fortunately I had my trusty AR-15 ghost gun in customary scary black and shooed them off, but that still left me bleeding all over the pavement...

Fortunately I had joined up on that Obamacare.gov website and they took care of everything. My old premium was 673 American dollars a month but after Obamacare I only pay fifty-three cents! That gives me so much extra scratch to donate to the anti-vaccine lobby and my favorite "pray away the gay" charity!

Thanks Obama!

Posted by: Moebius at March 28, 2014 12:35 PM (Bx1Dc)

198 Have you noticed that EVERYTHING this administration touches turns into exclusively a marketing/messaging exercise? Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 28, 2014 04:33 PM

It has been a five-year-long GEICO commercial, minus the funny animals, weird characters and humor.

Posted by: MrScribbler at March 28, 2014 12:35 PM (dDzOj)

199 Hi, I'm Bubba Covington! I grew up on a farm in Kansa and them enlisted when I realized I wasn't smart enough for college. I was not a fan of Obama because he was unwilling to continue President Bush and Cheney's colonisaztion of Iraq and Afghanistan. But after I got home from my ten tours in the desert, I started having nightmares about all of the brown people I killed, and I found I couldn't control my anger around yuppies drinking their fru-fru coffee and driving their Jap cars.
But after I lost my insurance, I bumped into my high School Shop teacher, who told me about Obamacare....

Posted by: Lizzy at March 28, 2014 12:35 PM (udjuE)

200

"But now, I get mad when I see Obamacare dragged through the mud on television."


That's how you know he's fake.

 

====

 

Real Republicans don't watch TV News

Posted by: Bigby's Thumbnails at March 28, 2014 12:36 PM (3ZtZW)

201 Have you noticed that EVERYTHING this administration touches turns into exclusively a marketing/messaging exercise? Well, when your actual results suck, the only thing you have is marketing and messaging.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at March 28, 2014 12:36 PM (PYAXX)

202 Now I'm going with dumb LIV socon type (not that socons are all LIVs, don't kill me guys!) /sharpens knife /glares

Posted by: Brother Cavil at March 28, 2014 12:36 PM (naUcP)

203 Love you sick bastiges and bastige-ettes (is that a word?). I'm in such a great mood right now.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Ready to get Liquored Up at March 28, 2014 12:36 PM (RwwCT)

204 The wife made the succinct point that it would have probably just been cheaper to offer subsidies (Medicaid Expansion) to the uninsured, and had net positive "insured" individuals in the process. But they could not sell that to the public either. Posted by: flounder at March 28, 2014 04:35 PM (Kkt/i) What do you mean probably? This is costing like 1/2 Million for each actual new enrollee

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 28, 2014 12:36 PM (nzKvP)

205 " So one more time " /Mark da Bear Den [Give it the ol' college try! Hail Mary from a Monday morning quarterback. THIS is Obama's refrain accompanying a message such as, "Let me make myself perfectly clear by repeating the exact same as before but this time with more or less vigor, ever persistent!"]: "If you still need health insurance, you have just three days to get it. Do what I did. [Anyone who uses that line is a lamebrain leading other lamebrains: do what I did: jump off a cliff. "Do what I did" applies to people who believe someone saying "Trust Me."] "Go to HealthCare.gov, submit an application, and pick a plan that works for you. It just might change your life." Duh. FOR THE WORSE.

Posted by: panzernashorn at March 28, 2014 12:36 PM (/vO0r)

206 Have you noticed that EVERYTHING this administration touches turns into exclusively a marketing/messaging exercise? ----- Support my constitutional amendment that would prohibit the federal government from any and all advertising.

Posted by: SH at March 28, 2014 12:36 PM (gmeXX)

207 Dear Fellow Republican,

We are severe conservatives. We eat, sleep, and bathe in patriotism and America. In between raping Gaia and urinating on the poors we like to snack on the oppressed children and brown people.

We are writing to you to let you know that the Affordable Care Act is not what you've heard it is. It's pretty good. While we're rich enough to afford any doctor or treatment, you may not be able to. So you really need to sign up. Just ignore the fact that it was designed entirely by a darkie and some whores. It actually works.

Sincerely,

Posted by: Charles & David Koch [/i][/b] at March 28, 2014 12:36 PM (AA6QE)

208 Hi, I'm Jane. Just Jane. I only read Ace of Spades HQ's for my news, so I'm steeped in conservatism and live in the Bible Internet Belt. Hi Beth!

Posted by: rickb223 at March 28, 2014 12:37 PM (ndIek)

209 PHD who gets a gov subsidy? He ain't makin' much money for a PHD. What is he, unemployed? Workin at McDonalds?

Posted by: Smith what suffers vertigo at March 28, 2014 12:37 PM (otvkj)

210 Doctor Bearden only pays $62 a month?

Hell, that won't even cover my monthly anal-lube budget.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at March 28, 2014 12:37 PM (Kkt/i)

211 Check out Mark D. Bearden's Jan 21 FB post - no fan of O-care was he then... Cray-cray!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] at March 28, 2014 12:37 PM (gmtFW)

212 189 Does any English-speaking human ever refer *to themselves* as "self-proclaimed" anything? Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at March 28, 2014 04:33 PM (qyfb5) and you're thinking you won't get the "Self Proclaimed Fans of Boobehs." Rookie.

Posted by: tangonine at March 28, 2014 12:38 PM (x3YFz)

213 My fave part...


"So one more time: If you still need health insurance, you have just three days to get it. Do what I did. Go to HealthCare.gov, submit an application, and pick a plan that works for you."


Used car salesman could not pitch it better.


Kind of feels like this...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OBN9Qilu8Y



Posted by: dananjcon at March 28, 2014 12:38 PM (NpXoL)

214 I am a self proclaimed super smart wonderful girly-man, you too should get in touch with the little girl in yourself too. It did wonders for me, just look at my golf swing. I could be on the LPGA for God's sake. They don't call me the " divot maker" for nothing.

Posted by: Barky O. god incarnated into my great self at March 28, 2014 12:38 PM (VKDkW)

215 Aw, C'mon. Six million imaginary people can't be wrong. You get a free phone too.

Posted by: seamrog at March 28, 2014 12:38 PM (5Kn1s)

216 As a conservative I knew Obamacare sucks because knowing everything associated with Obama sucks is the litmus test for being a conservative. Recently my conservative world was rocked when I went on the ACA website when I was bored waiting on some friends to go on a hunting trip (I only mention the hunting so you can know I'm really a conservative and not just saying I am). Imagine my surprise when I saw that I could get healthcare for on $10 a month! Of course I signed right up -- Obamacare is teh awesome! I'm a true believer and you will be too if you do as I did -- go on the website, fill out all the personal data the government needs, don't worry about security issues, this is the US government we're talking about, they wouldn't lie or endanger us! You will see that we conservatives have been wrong -- everything associated with Obama doesn't suck -- it's pure gold spun from unicorn tears. And best of all is Obamacare! Join me and become one of us! Gobble Gobble!

Posted by: Dancing Queen at March 28, 2014 12:38 PM (Bfbpz)

217 does the creative here piss anyone else off? http://tinyurl.com/p7ayoj6 What kind of statement does this make about our priorities? Is this tongue-in-cheek? I wouldn't doubt that it's intended to be that, however I wouldn't doubt that there are milions of 30 year old adolescents that this applies to.

Posted by: West Town at March 28, 2014 12:38 PM (Y3C5w)

218 Country Singer, That was great! For better authenticity, though, you probably should have written 'workx' with a dollar sign instead of an x. I'm pretty sure that's how Republican Bu$ine$$men do it.

Posted by: Crazy Steve at March 28, 2014 12:38 PM (4Utxt)

219 Bearden likes free stuff. That is hardly Republican or conservative.

Posted by: maddogg at March 28, 2014 12:38 PM (xWW96)

220 I only pay 62$ for ObamaCare. They say I must be one of the wonders; God's own creation. And they smile when see they can offer no explanation. Ooo-oo-ooo-oo

Posted by: 6,000,000 Maniacs at March 28, 2014 12:39 PM (8MjqI)

221 Posted by: Smith what suffers vertigo at March 28, 2014 04:37 PM (otvkj) I'd laugh but... Current events.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at March 28, 2014 12:39 PM (HDwDg)

222 Ooooh snap, someone friended him on facebook and called him out: ""Dear Mr. Bearden, ThatÂ’s amazing. Someone very close to me is recovering from cancer and Obamacare has effectively cut us off from top tier cancer treatment by denying us access to Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. It is wonderful that you have great treatment, but others who are in the same place as you have been made to suffer at the hands of this unreasonable and horrible law. In fact, I honestly donÂ’t believe you. Since ALL of the cancer patients we know who have had to accept an Obamacare plan have been disconnected from their standard mode of treatment. Gerry Libertelli"

Posted by: Lauren at March 28, 2014 12:39 PM (hFL/3)

223 As a lifelong conservative who's always been at least somewhat active in local politics I can tell you there's a lot of enthusiasm for the Republican ticket right now. Nothing like the unbridled exhultation I saw when volunteering for the Reagan campaign back in college, but definitely a huge boost with the Palin pick.

I have become troubled, though, by the sometimes overt racism directed towards Obama. Beyond the stuff you hear all the time - he doesn't look like us, he has a funny name, he's a muslim - some truly vile attacks like "spear chucker", "jungle bunny", and of course "lawn jockey." It's shocking enough to hear these things from racists on television, but when it's the people who you've sat next to on the church bench for years while the reverend reads Mass...let's just say I've become truly disillusioned with the Republican Party as a whole and John McCain in particular for perpetrating these divisive stereotypes.

I'm heartbroken at what my party has become.

And now after checking the ACA website and cutting my monthly insurance bill from $1,396.43 a month to $17.69 a month on a Gold Plan I sit stunned at the lies Republicans told about Obamacare since its passage.  I believed them and they were wrong.  Check the website yourself.

Posted by: George Toma, now and from the past at March 28, 2014 12:39 PM (uhMMS)

224 Oooh, I like the Bubba Covington one.

Posted by: Separate but Stupid at March 28, 2014 12:39 PM (ZPrif)

225 Posted by: Charles & David Koch at March 28, 2014 04:36 PM (AA6QE) Where's my fcuking check, you fcuking pikers?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] at March 28, 2014 12:39 PM (gmtFW)

226 Posted by: Charles & David Koch

Excuse me, sirs?  You forgot the usual generous cash payment that comes with your directives.  That's the only reason any of us believe/vote certain ways, you know...

Posted by: HR at March 28, 2014 12:39 PM (ZKzrr)

227 I'm a right-wing extremist who was born without a heart. (I know, right?) The doctors told my parents they had no idea how I'd lived to the ripe old age of 24, given the lack of a heart. Oh, and did I mention I'm dumb as a post, since I'm also brainless? Well, you can imagine how expensive a heart AND brain transplant are. Heck, my family couldn't even afford the heart transplant alone on our old policy. But we prayed about it and the good Lord came to us in one of our religious-induced delusions (brought on by eating too much lime jello) and instructed us to log onto the Obamacare website. Lo and behold! We can afford full coverage for my heart AND brain transplants, for the mere price of $12.95/month. It's truly a miracle! Thanks so much, Obamacare! Julian Calendar, Young Republicans Chapter President KKK University

Posted by: elaine at March 28, 2014 12:39 PM (GNZ0/)

228 Yankee One Dollar Closing Remaining Stores Due To Obamacare And Raise In Minimum Wage Yankee One Dollar Another large employer bites the dust. ItÂ’s almost as if someone were trying to kill jobsÂ… Via Legal Insurrection and Mental Recession: Citing Obamacare and an increase in the stateÂ’s minimum wage, the owner of Waterford-based Yankee One Dollar is closing down shop on all 23 remaining locations. Via the Times Union: Waterford-based Yankee One Dollar stores will be gone within the next five months, its owner told the Post Star of Glens Falls. Keith Flike blamed the Affordable Care Act and the increase in the stateÂ’s minimum wage for the decision to shut down. Each store has six to 10 employees, he told the Post Star. YOBS!

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 28, 2014 12:39 PM (nzKvP)

229 IMPOSTER! INTERLOPER! Bi-weekly! You ghey or sumthin?

Posted by: toby928© at March 28, 2014 12:39 PM (QupBk)

230 216 It has been a five-year-long GEICO commercial, minus the funny animals, weird characters and humor. And a product that you could actually use. Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at March 28, 2014 04:37 PM (OWjjx) And the commercials get continually worse. Like epically worse. Stupid worse.

Posted by: tangonine at March 28, 2014 12:39 PM (x3YFz)

231 I just want to preface my remarks by saying that I'm not only a Jedi, but I'm a hard-core die-hard fan of the Jedi order. I have all the trading cards and everything. I even abandoned my family for the order, don't even wonder what happened to them. I've been fighting against the corrupt Sith terror for years, but last night I had dinner at Darth Cheney's house, and you know what? Delightful company. Polite, and the food was good, too. Not at all what I expected. I was completely surprised, and while I'm still a staunch adherent of the Jedi Order, I must say I may have been wrong about these Sith fellows. Even the Elite Guard were polite and professional, and didn't kill hardly anyone. So, what I'm saying is, basically, you have nothing to fear from a Sith in the White House. Signed, Sentinel Beth Gonto, MBA, SGC, EEOC

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i][/b][/s][/u] at March 28, 2014 12:40 PM (qyfb5)

232 I was born

Posted by: Mr. Dave at March 28, 2014 12:40 PM (48LnO)

233 What do you mean probably? This is costing like 1/2 Million for each actual new enrollee

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 28, 2014 04:36 PM (nzKvP)


Just wanted to leave open the possibility that it wasn't, because it is based on speculation and not actual numbers.

Posted by: flounder at March 28, 2014 12:40 PM (Kkt/i)

234 Aw, fuck it. iPad ate my comment.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at March 28, 2014 12:40 PM (48LnO)

235 >>Have you noticed that EVERYTHING this administration touches turns into exclusively a marketing/messaging exercise? I was trolling over at DU the other day and came across a thread where one of the loons was hacking on Obama for being a used car salesman cause all he does is try to sell shit. I kid you not, even some of the dummies see through this dope. Of course he was roundly attacked by others because calling Obama a used car salesman is racist. That was a knew one on me.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 28, 2014 12:40 PM (g1DWB)

236 Some of you may have heard of me. I run a big, red Republican state. I've butted heads many times with that scoundrel in the White House, but you know what? After dropping a big rock with an impolite word on my foot I had to have that foot put in a cast. Not only did it not cost me a dime, but after signing up with Obamacare, they even gave me money back! I can't wait to get out of here and drop a big rock on the other foot. Thanks, Obamacare.

Posted by: Rick Perry, Govenator of Tejas at March 28, 2014 12:40 PM (nsOJa)

237 I know of 1 couple who got ACA and it is lower than what they were paying. Fucking pisses me off, because the Mrs. chooses not to work. Mr. doesn't make big bucks, but has a healthy investment portfolio, no house payment, etc........ We both work and blamo........its big bucks for us.

Posted by: Misanthopic Humanitarian at March 28, 2014 12:41 PM (HVff2)

238 Hi I'm Mr. Moo Moo. Now I use that name because I post on a conservative blog larded with evil socon types who are trying to destroy the president. He's succeeding though because social media. Anyway, I didn't like Obamacare because I'm the archetype of a fiscal conservative and I pay a lot of taxes ($48,000 this year!). But you know what? Obamacare, I've discovered, will likely help people like my best friend's female lawyer sister in law get the abortions she needs to become successful in her career. Take that, socons!

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at March 28, 2014 12:41 PM (oFCZn)

239 185 ---I hear obama ordered a BLT on Saudi Arabia Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 28, 2014 04:32 PM (nzKvP) ---------------- Seriously?!?

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at March 28, 2014 12:41 PM (dfYL9)

240 because it is based on speculation and not actual numbers. Posted by: flounder at March 28, 2014 04:40 PM (Kkt/i) Ya want actual? Try finding an actually DR

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 28, 2014 12:41 PM (nzKvP)

241 Hi, I never thought this would happen to me but... I am a shy college student from a small Midwestern town who never did very well with the ladies. I attend a university in California and wow, what a change! her name was Annie and she gave me the clap, good thing I had Obamacare, they gave me several shots and some ointment and the pain and rash went right away. But now they are asking for $1200 for something called a copay?

Posted by: Withheld by request at March 28, 2014 12:41 PM (OeL36)

242

and you're thinking you won't get the "Self Proclaimed Fans of Boobehs."

Rookie

 

Dear Mr. Tangonine.  We have just added 300 bonus points to your account.

Posted by: AoSHQ Style Guide Compliance Division at March 28, 2014 12:41 PM (JtwS4)

243 You cannot imagine the absolute shock and horror I had when my doctor told me those 4 words that every woman dreads to hear: "You have prostate cancer". I about died on the spot! Thank God my doctor had the paddles at the ready and restarted my tiny, little, shriveled, black bean Republican heart! When I came to, I thought to myself "Verla, how can this be happening to you? You go to church every Sunday, you teach Sunday School, you tithe 10%, you brake for animals. You are a good person, why would God let this happen to you?" My next thoughts were how am I going to pay for the expensive and extensive cancer treatments? As a woman, having your prostate removed is a very tricky operation. I would have to see the best. My life depended on it. I immediately got online, but as our ever perspicacious Senate Majority leader, Harry Reid noted just the other day, I am not savy with the interwebs. I was forced to go old school. I called the 1-800-FCKU number and spoke with a lovely ACA Navigator, Shaniqua. She assured me that she would take great care of me, and I have to say I was impressed with just how thorough she was! She wasn't going to take any chances with me having any problems, and she asked me all kinds of questions about my various bank accounts, credit cards and safety deposit box that left me so reassured. She even went to the trouble to ask me my mother's maiden name and what the name of my first pet was! I hope I didn't take up too much of her time because it took me a while to remember what my first job ever was! Anyhow, I got a nice laminated insurance card in the mail the next day, and I am currently in the process of making all my appointments to deal with this deadly tumor. As a life-long Republican who voted for Republicans my entire life, I am amazed by the compassion and helpfulness of the awesome people that work in our blessed government like Shaniqua. I will continue being a Republican because I have been one my entire life, but I can't but help be grateful for the provisions of Obamacare. And as a woman, I really look forward to 2016, because I've always admired Hillary...

Posted by: Verla Insko, Lifelong Republican at March 28, 2014 12:41 PM (o6g4X)

244 PHD who gets a gov subsidy? He ain't makin' much money for a PHD. What is he, unemployed? Workin at McDonalds? The 14th century Polish-Lithuanian Genderqueer Poetic Semniotics Studies field can be very...selective.

Posted by: Brother Cavil at March 28, 2014 12:41 PM (naUcP)

245 Here is ole Mark's street. Looks to be starter homes in a development outside of Monroe. Might just visit over there next trip to Monroe and axe around. http://tinyurl.com/pe467r9

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 28, 2014 12:41 PM (0FSuD)

246 >That's how you know he's fake.

Of course quite paradoxically, A socialist assumes what is good for the self is good for everybody. While a Conservative knows that the two do not always correlate, and would instinctively know "Just because 'I' got a good deal doesn't mean everyone does, after all someone has to pay for it"

You know what conservatives sound like when they take a government entitlement action as a benefit? Ashamed and guilty. Because they know someone else is footing the bill for them.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Laughing Maniacally While Throwing Matches. at March 28, 2014 12:41 PM (0q2P7)

247 I'm a die hard republican. I believe in freedom and individual reasonability and the right to bear arms. However when Obamacare extended Medicaid, I got ecstatic! Now I can get to see a doctor without having to pay for it. I'm glad Obama is taking care of the poor!

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at March 28, 2014 12:42 PM (HDwDg)

248 A real conservative would call himself a "severe" conservative. Posted by: rickl at March 28, 2014 04:06 PM (zoehZ) That's already blown into the viral contagion, "severe" conservative! Love it, and still laughing.

Posted by: panzernashorn at March 28, 2014 12:42 PM (/vO0r)

249 Hi! I'm Wembley McMoneypants. I am a pitiless Republican. For years orphaned children have been working in my Koch sponsored coal mines. As a small business owner I was first terrified that Obamacare was going to destroy my dream of becoming a Captain America villain. But when I learned how much my company could save on Obamacare's small business exchange(coming sometime in 2017) I was all for it.

Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at March 28, 2014 12:43 PM (WdbF7)

250 Dear America, I never thought it could happen to me. I was standing outside an abortion clinic, yelling at all the whores that were going inside, and all of the sudden I tripped and broke my ankle! Now, first of all, I was shocked that some of those evil abortionists actually came out to help me. They were so kind they even brought me inside and helped to set my ankle for FREE! I was so shocked and thankful! While I was there, they told me that if I was uninsured I should really sign up on the ACA website. I told those Godless harpies that there was no way I was signing up for something the baby killing president supported, but they told me that I should just look to see if it might be helpful. Well, I looked online, and it turns otu I can get insurance for my whole family of 17 for only $8/month. I was so shocked I cried. Thank you Obama, and thank you Planned Parenthood!

Posted by: Lauren at March 28, 2014 12:43 PM (hFL/3)

251 Hey, It's a Big Fucking Deal

Posted by: Obama's Tonto, Joe Biden at March 28, 2014 12:44 PM (nTgAI)

252 I'm a pretty big deal.

Posted by: tangonine at March 28, 2014 12:44 PM (x3YFz)

253 Thanks to the Affordable Care Act, I can now afford things I never thought possible. It's enabled me to buy Copenhagen instead of that cheap Grizzly stuff, and even a shirt with sleeves on it.
===
In these parts, Grizzly is commonly known as "Welfare Bear".

Posted by: mrp at March 28, 2014 12:44 PM (JBggj)

254 Hilarial. Yes, you can tell seminar callers because they'll tout credentials before violating some tenet of conservatism. So, here we go: I've always been a proud American because we are the best country in the world and so I never trusted Obama because I didn't think he liked America as much as me because he went to law school and lived in a big city. But since I have had a pre-existing condition and I never could get me some insurance, I was really thankful that I could wait until the very last minute, as I was being dragged into the hosiptal on a gurney from the ambulance to sign up for Obamacare. It turns out I saved thousands of dollars from not paying premiums until I had to and now I have the same premiums as everyone else, even though I I cost my insurance company hundreds of times more than other customers. If that's what America's not about, then I guess I was wrong about everything.

Posted by: joeindc44 at March 28, 2014 12:44 PM (+JbYP)

255 Hi, I'm an insurance company executive, so obviously I hate democrats. But when I heard that Obama was going to chase my competitors out of the market and allow me to force people to buy my product. Why let's just say I had to go to the ER after 4 hours. And it was covered! Thanks Obama.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at March 28, 2014 12:44 PM (HDwDg)

256 251   Verla:  Are you from NC?  Asking for friend.

Posted by: NCwoof at March 28, 2014 12:45 PM (aUQgu)

257 ok that sucked, but serious you guys, read Annie C.'s column today to see how a true conservative reacts to buying Obamacare.

Posted by: joeindc44 at March 28, 2014 12:45 PM (+JbYP)

258 I never miss that Laurie Dhue each day on Fox's Special News Journal. She tells it like it is.

Posted by: knot a mole at March 28, 2014 12:45 PM (wu/TK)

259 First one to say "there I was..." wins.

Posted by: tangonine at March 28, 2014 12:45 PM (x3YFz)

260 You know what isn't conservative? Paying $62 a month and not knowing that someone else is FORCED to pay a hell of a lot more for their plan to pay for yours. You, sir, are an asshole.

Posted by: Seems legit at March 28, 2014 12:45 PM (A98Xu)

261 Posted by: Verla Insko, Lifelong Republican at March 28, 2014 04:41 PM (o6g4X) Woman. Prostrate cancer. Diet Pepsi on screen Thanks.

Posted by: Misanthopic Humanitarian at March 28, 2014 12:46 PM (HVff2)

262 I know of 1 couple who got ACA and it is lower than what they were paying. Fucking pisses me off, because the Mrs. chooses not to work.

Did she choose before or after she started collecting subsidies?
http://is.gd/1FLZ3b

Posted by: HR at March 28, 2014 12:46 PM (ZKzrr)

263 Dick Cheney here....happy to know my next heart surgery won't cost me a dime...thanks to obamacare. The Mrs. and I are checking to see what other free shit we can cop from the feds....all thanks to obama.

Posted by: BignJames at March 28, 2014 12:46 PM (j7iSn)

264 Since when has staunch been a synonym for fake?

Posted by: Hepcat at March 28, 2014 12:46 PM (Q4mug)

265 The wife made the succinct point that it would have probably just been cheaper to offer subsidies (Medicaid Expansion) to the uninsured, and had net positive "insured" individuals in the process. But they could not sell that to the public either.
Posted by: flounder
...........
I've been saying that for years.

Actually, Indiana's Medicaid substitute is even better.. they give people a Health Savings Account and fund it depending on income level.  So, they are only funding real medical costs, not shoving billions to insurance companies, and teaching people how to manage their health care dollars at the same time.

Posted by: Chitown-Jerry at March 28, 2014 12:46 PM (Z7PrM)

266 yeah, exactly, WHO IS PAYING $62 for Obamacare???? Plus, didn't he get upset over what Annie C described as choosing hospitals or choosing doctors visits?

Posted by: joeindc44 at March 28, 2014 12:47 PM (+JbYP)

267 Others have written about this, but this is further proof at how small this presidency really is. Trying to sell their signature program through using the old "hey I am the last guy who should support this, but I do" trope, and doing it clumsily. Posting this on the website. This is a small gimmick from a small presidency. It doesn't quite look like it, but Obamacare is dead. As I have said before, it will be nothing more than a tax increase on the wealthy. The only question is what comes next. It won't be single payer. I certainly don't trust the GOP. But Obamacare is dead. The wound exists. We are just waiting for the patient to bleed out.

Posted by: SH at March 28, 2014 12:47 PM (gmeXX)

268

 

i've known a few people who have had to suffer through chemotheropy,this guy sounds way to chipper

Posted by: kj at March 28, 2014 12:47 PM (lKyWE)

269 I think the "best case scenario" here is a guy who has a vestigial association with the opposition party, but is star-struck because he got a call from a Big Celebrity's handlers, and basically they wrote a letyter for him. Which sounds kind of dorky, and sounds like it was written by the White House, and so we all mock it. I didn't say it was a *good* case, just the best case.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i][/b][/s][/u] at March 28, 2014 12:47 PM (qyfb5)

270 Bars of pure plutonium, three for a dollar!

Posted by: toby928© at March 28, 2014 12:47 PM (QupBk)

271 I was so shocked I cried. Thank you Obama, and thank you Planned Parenthood! Posted by: Lauren at March 28, 2014 04:43 PM (hFL/3 Surprised you didn't bleed to death with that broken ankle.

Posted by: Misanthopic Humanitarian at March 28, 2014 12:47 PM (HVff2)

272 Posted by: joeindc44 at March 28, 2014 04:47 PM (+JbYP) Just spitballing, but if he has cancer, then he'll hit the plan max every time to it seems like a decent enough deal for him. But only because he's the hell out there on the bell curve.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at March 28, 2014 12:49 PM (HDwDg)

273
Krazy Konservative Kredentials










*snort*

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 28, 2014 12:49 PM (TIIx5)

274 My name is Luke. I'm a lifelong Conservative Republican who grew up on a small farm with my Aunt and Uncle. Times were tough after they died in a tragic arson. I spent my days searching for my estranged sister, unable to afford even basic medical insurance. With the help of Ben, an old family friend, I found my wealthy sister. Sadly, a heated argument with my father resulted in Ben being murdered and me losing an arm. Thanks to Obamacare, a new prosthetic was fitted and I'm once again able to hike through the jungle. Thanks, Obama!

Posted by: Luke S. at March 28, 2014 12:49 PM (SY2Kh)

275 Posted by: Misanthopic Humanitarian at March 28, 2014 04:46 PM (HVff2) Based on a true story from just a few days ago. NO. REALLY.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 28, 2014 12:49 PM (659DL)

276 Surprised you didn't bleed to death with that broken ankle.

That's the magic of Obamacare. 

Posted by: HR at March 28, 2014 12:49 PM (ZKzrr)

277 I hate to say it, but, the morons and moronettes are wrong. The ACA has done wonders for me. I do not know why Republicans and conservatives, and libertarians hate the American Camp Association with so much fervor. I thought we were all survivalists at heart, here. Best Regards, Jane JANE, YOU IGNORANT SLUT!!!

Posted by: Zombie of Bill Murray at March 28, 2014 12:50 PM (o6g4X)

278 Obama, Sebelius, and all the rest have no credibility. Assume it's bullshit until proven otherwise. They will do anything and say anything to lie this thing into reality. Deadlines are meaningless, as are laws, as is the truth.

Posted by: Feh at March 28, 2014 12:50 PM (1ru6+)

279 seminar callers, once establishing a credential, veer wildly into insane territory, like Clinton was a good president because he taxed enron or some shit like that. Or, I liked Reagan but his firing of the ATC led to 9-11.

Posted by: joeindc44 at March 28, 2014 12:50 PM (+JbYP)

280

I love Obamacare

 

Posted by: Vlad The Impaler Putin at March 28, 2014 12:50 PM (nTgAI)

281 Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at March 28, 2014 04:47 PM (qyfb5) Sounds reasonable to me.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 28, 2014 12:50 PM (XyM/Y)

282 Did she choose before or after she started collecting subsidies? http://is.gd/1FLZ3b Posted by: HR at March 28, 2014 04:46 PM (ZKzrr) She was unemployed at the time of the insurance change. She's capable of working, had been laid off at old job, company merger. She was looking for job at time of insurance change. But when this happened. She quit looking.

Posted by: Misanthopic Humanitarian at March 28, 2014 12:50 PM (HVff2)

283 I'm Troy McClure.  You may have seen me in such films as "The Tea Party: America's Last Best Hope" and "Obama: A Strange Foreigner From Kenya" or even my one appearance on Faux- I mean Fox News.  Obviously my conservative credentials are incontestable.  Today I'm here to talk to you about how awesome Obamacare is.  I didn't think it would be great, until one day...

Posted by: Troy McClure at March 28, 2014 12:51 PM (b6nAI)

284 Dick Cheney here....happy to know my next heart surgery won't cost me a dime...thanks to obamacare. The Mrs. and I are checking to see what other free shit we can cop from the feds....all thanks to obama. Bravo! That made me lol!

Posted by: runningrn at March 28, 2014 12:51 PM (o6g4X)

285 So I really am a staunch conservative. At age 25 I looked into buying insurance on the open market because my company didn't have their own plan, but rather gave each employee a stipend. I was completely healthy, and applied for a plan with $125 premium and a $1500 deductible. It was fantastic insurance. However, I got denied because I had a "preexisting condition" because I was diagnosed with migraine headaches in my teens although I hadn't been to a doctor or taken medication in 5 years. I was practically a poster child for Obamacare. Fast forward 2 years. The law kicks in and I'm thinking, "well the law sucks in general but I might as well take advantage of it." So I go to the exchanges and check out the plans and my options are essentially a $500 premium with a $1500 deductible or a $200 premium with a $6500 deductible. For those keeping track at home that is a 400% premium increase for option 1 or a 75% premium increase and 433% deductible increase for option 2. And they wonder why young people aren't signing up.

Posted by: Elephant in the Room at March 28, 2014 12:52 PM (Ggh94)

286 Comrades, you have a little girl running your country and you are weak as a people, but Obamacare provides coverage for 90% of Russia. Spacibo Obamacare.

Posted by: Czar Putin at March 28, 2014 12:52 PM (nsOJa)

287 @280 Just spitballing, but if he has cancer, then he'll hit the plan max every time to it seems like a decent enough deal for him. But only because he's the hell out there on the bell curve. *************** he had insurance that was $428 a month. Now it's $62??? SO, is he getting treatment at the same place? Same deductibles? We know that ACA choices include moderate cost plans that still have $10,000 deductibles. Or he has to go to a hospice instead of Mt. Sinai.

Posted by: joeindc44 at March 28, 2014 12:52 PM (+JbYP)

288

How many Phd's don't have enought money to afford their own insurance and would appearently qualify for a subsidy.

Mark  Bearden - no record of any federal or state political contribution (that I could find), much less to a republican. 

No record of a Mark Bearden in Monroe, NC white pages.

No Linked-In North Carolinian named Mark Bearden that has a PHd - a fact that would be prominently noted in any profile. 

I'm close to calling bullshit.

 

 

Posted by: Brian at March 28, 2014 12:53 PM (Hd5n8)

289

I stubbed my thumb clubbing a baby seal in northern Canada. Real bloody mess, tore off the nail and left splinters, too. So I had Cookie, the ship's cook, look up all that Obamacare stuff I kept ignoring and, you know? I got signed up pretty quick.

I'm on my way back to the US now and, while gangrene has set in, I'm told the entire operation should only cost me an arm, not a leg.

That's a joke. Really, you guys should check it out

Posted by: Bigby's Thumbnails at March 28, 2014 12:53 PM (3ZtZW)

290
My health has been a serious issue for the past twenty six years.  But now with Obamacare (and legalized marijuana) I'm feeling like a new man.   If you don't believe me, check the voter's role.   You will see I continue to do my civic duty, and vote early and often for Democrats.

Posted by: Barry Goldwater at March 28, 2014 12:53 PM (ANvDa)

291

Dear fellow Republicans, staunch and severe: 

 

I couldn't believe it.  I was just 14 and had gone away to sailing camp for the first time.  One of the duties was swabbing below decks, and I was swabbing the girls' quarters because they weren't supposed to be there at that time of day.

 

Well, one was, and as I turned a corner she started changing.  It was the first real naked girl I had seen in my life.  I froze, and kept my head down. She was older, like 16.  I was skinny and had long hair so I thought she might think I was another girl.  But she saw me.  She knew who I was.  She walked right up to me and put a breast in my mouth.  Then she knelt down...

Posted by: The guy who's writing to the wrong place at March 28, 2014 12:54 PM (JtwS4)

292 As a gay man in my early 50's I have to say that after witnessing Michelle  Obama do the watoosy in Xian-Jin square...I am still a gay man.
 

Posted by: A. Cooper at March 28, 2014 12:54 PM (NpXoL)

293 I'm Guy Hardman,

I can't publicly tell you exactly how I feel about President Obama.

However, as much as I loathe government and government programs, after signing up for ObamaCare, I feel such relief knowing that my healthcare is covered in the case of hunting accidents, or the accompanying health problems that may result after eating all of that scrumptious red meat which I kill with my own hands.

I'm not entirely sure, but I even think ObamaCare may cover treatment should one of my children grow up queer.

I feel ObamaCare helps me live the independent, Conservative lifestyle I want to live without fear of out of control hospital costs.

God Bless America!
And ObamaCare too...

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at March 28, 2014 12:54 PM (AC0lD)

294 251 Verla: Are you from NC? Asking for friend. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Who is this friend? I do feel that I must warn you that as a life-long Republican, I am a long-time charter member of the NRA and I have a CCW...

Posted by: Verla Insko Lifelong Republican at March 28, 2014 12:54 PM (o6g4X)

295 Posted by: Misanthopic Humanitarian at March 28, 2014 04:50 PM (HVff2) In theory a tactical divorce would make the most sense for the wife and I. I'd not longer be eligible for her insurance, but I'd instantly become eligible for nearly fully subsidized insurance. (Although my income is so low I may fall into the "non-Medicaid expanded" gap.)

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at March 28, 2014 12:54 PM (HDwDg)

296 It will be hilarious to find out about this guy after our NC morons go on an A-team investigation.

Posted by: Misanthopic Humanitarian at March 28, 2014 12:54 PM (HVff2)

297 You guys, don't be surprised if you see your fake testimonials being passed around the internet as true success stories, LOL.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at March 28, 2014 12:55 PM (r+7wo)

298 OK, so actually I think it went like this.  Mr.Bearden did write Obama a letter, and got a phone call saying they were going to use it with some changes if we was ok with that.  He said ok and he hasn't seen the final changes...because his original letter was this:


I am a staunch Republican and I didn't vote for the President.

I'm a patient, and was previously paying $428 a month for my health coverage. I was not thrilled when it was cancelled.

Then I submitted an application at HealthCare.gov. I looked at my options and they were awful.  Most of the plans didn't have what I needed but I was required to because of this stupid law. And I signed up for a plan for $662 a month.

It's the crappiest health care I have ever had.

So right now, here's what I want to tell anyone who still needs health insurance, or knows someone who does:

Don't sign up on the website. Look into other options. You still have time, and take it from me: This is something you want to do.

I wrote a letter to President Obama this past February to tell him about my experience with the Health Insurance Marketplace. I hoped he'd read it, and he did.

I am not a supporter of the President and I never will be. Now, I get mad when I see Obamacare ads on television.

Obamacare doesn't work.

 

Posted by: DangerGirl at March 28, 2014 12:55 PM (GrtrJ)

299 How fucking lame is our government when it has to sock puppet and troll its citizens and trick them into signing up for a program? If I told you this was happening even four years ago, you'd be laughing at me. This is absolutely fucking pathetic.

Posted by: EC at March 28, 2014 12:55 PM (doBIb)

300 Posted by: Brian at March 28, 2014 04:53 PM (Hd5n I found a "Mark Berman" (or however it's spelled) in nearby Charlotte who, despite having 3 degrees listed apparently is in "sales" at US foods. Draw your own conclusions.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at March 28, 2014 12:56 PM (HDwDg)

301 You  people are El Feugo!

Posted by: eleven at March 28, 2014 12:56 PM (fsLdt)

302 Has any of the unsolicited testimonials for any of zippy's policies turned out to be nonfiction? I thought the Ph.D. was a nice touch.

Posted by: Travis McGee at March 28, 2014 12:56 PM (Ph479)

303 You guys, don't be surprised if you see your fake testimonials being passed around the internet as true success stories, LOL.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at March 28, 2014 04:55 PM (r+7wo)


-----


ctrl-c

ctrl-v


lather. rinse. repeat

Posted by: fixerupper at March 28, 2014 12:56 PM (nELVU)

304
jebus pixie...... took my hard returns AND spaces......

Posted by: fixerupper at March 28, 2014 12:57 PM (nELVU)

305 @296 See @160 address and phone number. I also linked a street view of his street somewhere above.

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 28, 2014 12:58 PM (0FSuD)

306 This is Jesus Christ.  If I were to come back again ... and I'm seriously thinking about it... I'd be a Republican. And I'd be 100% for Obamacare in case my human half were stricken with the plague or plantar warts or something.

So let up on Obama.  Even though he's a Muslim, he's an okay guy.   ( Don't worry, Harry Ried and Hillary are going straight to hell. )

Sincerely,

Jesus

Posted by: Hepcat at March 28, 2014 12:58 PM (Q4mug)

307 And its great to know that the next time I am dodging sniper fire, I'll have good Health Insurance through the Exchange...

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at March 28, 2014 12:58 PM (84gbM)

308 Bring out your Dead Talking Points

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at March 28, 2014 12:58 PM (IHAZk)

309 When you elect an informercial president, you'll get an informercial federal government and informecial federeal policies.

Posted by: Francis at March 28, 2014 12:58 PM (47IEJ)

310 I'm a staunch conservative, fanatical Republican voting traditional values, Orthodox Jew. I watch FOXNews religiously and get the New York Post. I canceled the New York Notsi times because it's anti-Israel bent. I hate Jewish liberals who I think are a bunch of kapos who were so devoted to FDR that they sat in circle jerks defending him and ignored the Holocaust. I am pro-life pro-traditional value and have half my family in Israel. The Democratic Party has abandoned Israel. However I suffer from chronic Jewish illness called Gaucher's disease and the ACA has allowed me to get insurance for the first time. It is so great that I'm rethinking my ideology. In fact maybe those Jews during the FDR days were right in saying the new deal was more important than saving Jews. I think the ACA is more important than preventing another holocaust in Israel so thank you Pres. Obama.

Posted by: Chaim Shmeckle at March 28, 2014 12:58 PM (DXQGz)

311 Bonjour.

I just want to let all my fellow staunch conservatives know that if this guy posted on the internet, it must be true. They don't let anything false get onto the internet.

Posted by: French Model at March 28, 2014 12:59 PM (08jH8)

312 I'm Jai Taylor-Taylor! I'm in my 6th year at C.U. finishing up my degree in Pop Culture studies. I couldn't be on either of my moms' insurance because I just turned 26, but I decided to buy a new iPhone and a sweet new  snowboard instead of health care. I mean, I'm healthy, man. But last weekend I did a total face plant when attempting a reverse 1080 at Steamboat and broke my leg!
Luckily the EMT dude told me about Obamacare, and I found a plan for $36/month. This means I can afford physical therapy AND self-medicate IYKWIMAITYD. Righteous!!

Posted by: Lizzy at March 28, 2014 12:59 PM (udjuE)

313 Sock puppets?  Never heard of them.

Posted by: Charlie Gibson at March 28, 2014 12:59 PM (kFxpe)

314 The way to identify yourself as a Republican: I'm a life long Republican, voted for Reagan and Bush..

Posted by: Francis at March 28, 2014 01:00 PM (47IEJ)

315 1.  Sure, I'll bite.  So, since he claims to have a PhD, where or when did he earn it?  University Microfilms (which records just about every PhD dissertation in America) has no record of him. See http://dissexpress.umi.com/dxweb/search.html .

2.  Why does he also have almost no web presence besides this one story?  If he is a retired clinical psychologist, where are all the miscellaneous reviews of him by various patients?  If he is a retired educator (rather than clinician) in academia, where is the university info one would expect to find about him?

Sorry, but a modern retired PhD in the USA generally has some professional-related web-presence!  This guy doesn't.  Why not?

Posted by: RK from TX at March 28, 2014 01:00 PM (R0SCq)

316 But Obamacare is dead. The wound exists. We are just waiting for the patient to bleed out. *** Suspended animation

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at March 28, 2014 01:00 PM (g4TxM)

317 Here's my honest reply I'm posting where I find Mark's letter:

Mark,

Great to hear your experience, but every story like yours there will be, by necessity, an equally bad one. Why? Because this is simple a "rob Peter to pay Paul" system.
 
I'm a registered independent. Before the Unaffordable Healthcare Act, my health care was $485/mth - nearly identical to yours, and my worst-case annual exposure was $9,700 (usually more like $6k/yr). Today, under ACA, my premium would be $1,125/mth and my annual worst case exposure would be $22,700 (usually $14,000). It is clear the reason yours is so good now is because mine is so bad. Except it now makes no financial sense to be part of the system, so yours may not stay good that long.

As 60 yr olds, my wife and I are being forced out of the healthcare system by cost for the first times in our lives. Turns out it's a blessing in disguise. After looking around for an option, we found and are entering a faith-based healthcare initiative that is fully ACA compliant. It only costs $330/mth w/ no lifetime cap.

So I won't be putting any money into the ACA system to balance out your great premiums, and will pay no penalty. Someone else will have to pay your premium for you, until they also find creative ways of reducing their healthcare. Direct Primary Care is another great alternative that is starting to get momentum, that is also ACA compliant.

We all need to realize that if someone is getting a great deal under the AHCA system like you, that someone else is getting an equally bad deal. It has to be that way. Despite the fibs told at the highest levels to get us to all sign up, it's the only way the system will work.

I wish you the best!

@ChuckBlakeman


Posted by: Chuck Blakeman at March 28, 2014 01:00 PM (Sk8X3)

318 oh right, you know what we need? Hellen Kelly Jones to dig up this guy's tax records?

Posted by: joeindc44 at March 28, 2014 01:01 PM (+JbYP)

319

Hello all,

I am Cletus W. Bojangles, from Hog's Mud, MS. And I jess wanna tell you a lil' something today 'bout mah helf cayer, mmkay?

As a gun toting uneducated Republican yahoo (yeeeehaw!) I was afflicted with the same dieugnosesis that other folks like muh self is - dats right, ah gots a SMALL PEENER!

Now, ya might say "hay, that ain't the end of the wirld." But lemme tell you, when yer tryin to nail a fine looking sheep from bahind, dat small thang don't work. So, I's went to ma exchange, and gotz me a plan for only $48/month. Well shucks! That's barely more than a gallon of Grandma's porridge!

And with that helf plan, I gots me a PEENER surjery and made it gigantic, so nowz me n mah sheep can have all the fun a country boy could ever wunt!

Thank ye, Brock O'Bama! (He is Irish, right? He's BLACK! God damn, son! Say it ain't so!)

Sincerely,

Cletus

Posted by: Cletus Bojanges The Confederate Pickup Driving Gun Nut at March 28, 2014 01:01 PM (Q/obp)

320 One day after firing the maid, I learned that I had cancer. Can you imagine? That disease is only for poor people who are lazy and on welfare. What would the neighbors think? When Mumsie returned from the garden club and Poopsie came home from his weekly round of golf, we consulted with our trust fund advisors and decided that the best course of action was for all of us to sign up for Obamacare. This way instead of us paying for my treatments, we could use that money toward our trip to the Riviera instead. It's all part of our overall strategy of not paying our fair share.

Posted by: Richie Rich at March 28, 2014 01:01 PM (1WdJ6)

321 Nobody needs to stalk the guy. He's obviously a douche-tool. Just make fun of him and enjoy it. No need to googleearth search him and post links. That's creepy.

Posted by: garrett at March 28, 2014 01:01 PM (3j/+H)

322 I'm Jared Loughner, and am a lifelong radical socialist in the mold of Bill Maher, Lyndon LaRouche, Barney Frank and a little of Che Guevara. I did not vote for Obama because he secretly is a Right wing fascist, as has been shown by his embrace of the NSA.

An injury I sustained while taking part in a shooting spree that
left 6 dead, 12 wounded, including some Congress-critter at a strip mall in Tucson. But I was having some mental problems previous to that encounter with vigilante justice which were apparent to the authorities at my community college, but they just shunned me and left my physiological problems to fester.

I've been reading about ObamaCare but I'm not going to signup because I am getting free care here at the prison.

Thanks, Obama!

Posted by: Jared Loughner at March 28, 2014 01:01 PM (e8kgV)

323 he is a tent revival preacher no money used to snake oil sales Posted by: thunderb at March 28, 2014 04:22 PM (zOTsN) So, he's the drunk tent preacher from True Detective???

Posted by: Pug-De-Da! at March 28, 2014 01:02 PM (vFh9Q)

324 I'm Jedediah Jones. I was over at the Phelps funeral party where we was eating deep-fried pork and drinking all the Dixie we could under incandescent light bulbs we bought at Wal-Mart (thanks Earl), but I'm here to say, sitting in this ER ward with my hands all busted  from a fight I got into with some frilly hipster freak who was going on and on about gay marriage and climactic  change, that I'm about as dyed deep Republican as a man can get, but man alive, I can't believe I'm saying this, but this new Obamacare coverage is doing me right ...

Posted by: Feh at March 28, 2014 01:02 PM (oNXJk)

325 I'm Joe Biden and I'm from Delaware.

Posted by: Joe Biden at March 28, 2014 01:02 PM (S+el1)

326 @323 See earlier post by Thurb. He went to a Christian University and Liberty and specializes in Teen ministry. All Bull shit.

Posted by: Nip Sip at March 28, 2014 01:02 PM (0FSuD)

327 To continue my previous comment, I also found no record of him at the North Carolina Psychological Association website.  See http://ncpsychology.com/find-a-psychologist/ .

Posted by: RK from TX at March 28, 2014 01:02 PM (R0SCq)

328 Well, jumpin' Jehoshaphat!  When I heard about this internet enrollment thingy, I thought for sure this Obamacare Act was out of my reach.  There I was with no computer ciphering skills, not sure if I should pay the penalty or if I should high-tail it into the backcountry. Luckily, Barry's technical support group hooked me up with one of those navigators, who like an angel from heaven, took me by the hand and led me down the path to affordable care and discount drugs.

Thank you, Barry. 

Now me and my blind dog, Bojangles, can get the coverage we need on America's dime!

Posted by: Fritz at March 28, 2014 01:02 PM (UzPAd)

329 Thanks to the Affordable Care Act I might finally get my wound that won't heal fixed. Thanks, President Obama!

Posted by: Ani DiFranco at March 28, 2014 01:02 PM (3j/+H)

330 I am Cletus W. Bojangles, from Hog's Mud, MS. I lol'd.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at March 28, 2014 01:02 PM (oFCZn)

331 I'm seriously considering changing my name to "Devil In The Curtains."

Posted by: Country Singer at March 28, 2014 01:03 PM (r/e1Q)

332 As a staunch conservative, I used to be worried about Obamacare. I thought it would be the undoing of America. I had high hopes that the court would strike it down, and was devastated to learn that Justice Roberts decided to uphold under the taxing power. I took no comfort in Roberts finding this vague outer limit to the Commerce power. However, I have come to realize that this Administration has basically sabatoged its own program for what .... Well they are going to ensure that the Court issues many negative rulings related to this law. And yes, the Court will now be able to reign in the commerce clause now that we know there is an outer limit. I don't pretend that this will be a blessing in disguise. But I no longer fear Obamacare like I used to.

Posted by: SH at March 28, 2014 01:03 PM (gmeXX)

333 remember, the GOP isn't just a bunch of rednecks. We're also a bunch of heartless CEO's.

Posted by: joeindc44 at March 28, 2014 01:03 PM (+JbYP)

334 >>>> 267 First one to say "there I was..." wins. Posted by: tangonine at March 28, 2014 04:45 PM (x3YFz) To think that I, a long haired, noble faired creeping gnome could be the star of a Hollywood movie. There I was....

Posted by: Eric Burdon, winner at March 28, 2014 01:04 PM (8MjqI)

335 My job is very tough on my body. From jumping from rooftops to tangling with ne'er-do-wells, criminals, and villains I'm pretty much a walking ER waiting room.

My parents, who were tragically murdered in front of me when I was a boy, always told me to be good and help the helpless. I'm not about to give up stalking the cowardly and superstitious lot that preys upon society.

So I for one am grateful for the reforms to our healthcare system. I encourage you, citizen, to sign up for the ACA without delay.

Posted by: B. Wayne CEO of Wayne Enterprises [/i][/b] at March 28, 2014 01:04 PM (AA6QE)

336 Posted by: garrett at March 28, 2014 05:01 PM (3j/+H) OT, how is fishing garrett?

Posted by: Misanthopic Humanitarian at March 28, 2014 01:04 PM (HVff2)

337 You guys, don't be surprised if you see your fake testimonials being passed around the internet as true success stories, LOL. THAT would be priceless!

Posted by: rickb223 at March 28, 2014 01:04 PM (ndIek)

338 Dear Obamacare Forum,

I had be long suffering due to a terrible rash after numerous unwanted intrusions from an Ewok.  But thanks to Obamacare, my condition is in remission, and I am now dating Chuck Schumer's garbage disposal.

Posted by: Marco Rubio's Garbage Cans at March 28, 2014 01:04 PM (kFxpe)

339 Hello. My name is Rachel and I'm a lifelong Republican, voted for Reagan and Bush. While on vacation in Israel I was involved in a terrible construction accident that left me with a crushed pelvis, broken ribs, punctured lung, and two dislocated shoulders. Obamacare hadn't yet been passed, and the lack of affordable health care coverage resulted my death. You have three days to sign up for Obamacare. Don't wait, and don't assume that an oncoming bulldozer will stop in time. Signed, Rachel C.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at March 28, 2014 01:06 PM (SY2Kh)

340

I am a conservative Christian. Let me tell you I've never voted Democrat and never will. I also was skeptical about the Affordable Health Care Act--but one evening I decided to explore the website.

I found the site easy to use and got a plan that dropped my monthly health care premiums to a very affordable $36.75 a month. So I'm in--count me a supporter.

I will admit I was a little spooked when my plan ID number turned out to be 666. But I'm hoping I'll be forgiven.

Still conservative but loving Obamacare. Now I'm off to my snake handling meeting.

Posted by: northernlurker at March 28, 2014 01:06 PM (Xmw9g)

341 Mark the Bear Den: "I may not be a supporter of the President. " ...Then again, MAYBE I AM. Because... "I get mad when I see Obamacare dragged through the mud on television." ...Odd, that would be some act. Because who the hell in gross American media has the balls to televise dragging anything Obamanish through mud? Mud is racist.

Posted by: panzernashorn at March 28, 2014 01:06 PM (/vO0r)

342 Signed,
Rachel C.

I dunno, that one seemed kind of flat.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 28, 2014 01:07 PM (0AKks)

343

You guys, don't be surprised if you see your fake testimonials being passed around the internet as true success stories, LOL.

 

God, I hope they use the Devil Curtains.  That so should go viral...

Posted by: eleven at March 28, 2014 01:07 PM (fsLdt)

344 You guys are absolutely killing me! LincolnTurf and his sister wives--made me cry I was laughing so hard! Thank you all--I haven't laughed like this in a long time--I needed it!

Posted by: runningrn at March 28, 2014 01:07 PM (o6g4X)

345 Have I mentioned that it drives me nucking futs when people refer to Obamacare as "health care"? It's (allegedly) health insurance!!

Posted by: GatorGirl at March 28, 2014 01:07 PM (oj2UX)

346 He llo,  I am a conse rvative.  I like Obamacare.  It is gre at .

Typing with nose bec ause in straight jacket.

Posted by: Hepcat at March 28, 2014 01:07 PM (Q4mug)

347 ... 'mud and feather' ACA 'cause chickens came home to roost...

Posted by: panzernashorn at March 28, 2014 01:08 PM (/vO0r)

348 eleven--I am still snickering over that! Sister wives and devil curtains--thread winnah!

Posted by: runningrn at March 28, 2014 01:08 PM (o6g4X)

349 Some seriously funny stuff. Haven't laughed this much since the Kaboom post. Great job guys and gals. Now I have to go home school my wife sister on how not to beat the haunted curtains during Hannity and Colmes on Fox.

Posted by: NASCAR at March 28, 2014 01:08 PM (VmDUh)

350 Call me One Percenter. Sure, this 360 swivel in first class is nice, and the reception tonight underwritten by UBS at the Ambassador's residence is going to feature a live performance by Tina Turner, but there are more important things in life than these Zegna loafers and the Coach attaché my girlfriend at Goldman Sachs got me to celebrate our fourth weekend of sex. One of those more important things in life is Obamacare.

Posted by: Feh at March 28, 2014 01:09 PM (oNXJk)

351 Wasn't this Axlerod's bread and butter during first election?

Posted by: M1911 at March 28, 2014 01:09 PM (j/KPN)

352 You guys, don't be surprised if you see your fake testimonials being passed around the internet as true success stories, LOL.

I'm going to be disappointed if they're not.

Who's got the contact at Buzzfeed?  "21 Conservatives Who Love Obamacare"...

Posted by: HR at March 28, 2014 01:10 PM (ZKzrr)

353 As a Super hero without invulnerability, and a pre existing condition (blindness) I had a heck of a time finding adequate Health Insurance. Even as a Lawyer, I couldn't seem to afford the Premiums and co pays, because I was always getting shot, and stabbed, and hit, and busted up, and blown up.... and generally had a lot of health issues. Plus I had a serious issue getting enough Pain medication, and drugs for my insomnia... But now? Thanks to the Affordable Care Act, not only do they HAVE to cover me, but I get a subsidy as well. So thanks Obama!

Posted by: Matt Murdock at March 28, 2014 01:10 PM (84gbM)

354 there you go, Feh. We need testimonials from the 1% of Americans that makes up the GOP.

Posted by: joeindc44 at March 28, 2014 01:10 PM (+JbYP)

355

I'm Graham Cleary IV, a fourth generation Yale graduate, lacrosse player, and investment banker.  Totes Republican.  Me and my bros were out on a yachting trip when the captain, my buddy Theodore Bingham III, hit a pier after downing one too many scotches (or maybe it was the high-priced hooker giving him a lapdance that was blocking his view, can't remember).

 

I had decided to drop my Cadillac Insurance plan and go for ObamaCare, plowing the difference into some high-stakes currency speculation.  Boy, did I hit the jackpot!  Not only did ObamaCare pick up my bill, but I made a killing betting against Euro.

 

Thanks Obama!

 

 

Posted by: MacGruber at March 28, 2014 01:10 PM (S+el1)

356 Hi, I'm Tony W.
I was told tht if I signed up for ObamaCare that I could attract more hot babes on Twitter.  I used to have Congressional health care but was forced to give it up after a misunderstanding over some of my postings on Tweeter.  I have a <>redacted<> long penis which is just too much for my wife who prefers power women like Hiliary Clinton.
Now, only two weeks after signing up for ObamaCare, I have all the hot babes I can handle.

Tony W.

Posted by: #OccpyAthony WeinersShort at March 28, 2014 01:11 PM (e8kgV)

357 Hi, I'm Julia. And, now I can see. All thanks to the Affordable Care Act. No, really, hear me out. I was born with no eyes, no mouth, and basic generic gender features. I was also born with a horrible crook in my neck, so I am also only able to see over my left shoulder. Growing up on the farm, I could only use my sense of smell to do my chores. Mom milked the cows and gathered the eggs with me, while Dad was out shooting, I don't know what, but, it sure smelt good at dinnertime. We were what the left people called conservatives. We saved our pennies and worked hard. Our local church became the Tea Party meeting place. But, then one day, a foreigner told me about the Affordable Care Act. Pat said it would cover gender operations, and plastic surgery. I begged Momma and Pappa to bring me to the big city and have some operations done. They said they loved me the way I was, I was God's gift. It was only until I was 27, when I was kinda forced to go on the ACA. But, then, I discovered it was a miracle. I got a couple of eyes, and mouth, and, well you know the rest. I am whole now. I am a person. All because of the Affordable Care Act.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at March 28, 2014 01:11 PM (IXrOn)

358 As a long-time Republican, I can still remember the enthusiasm with which I cast my ballot for Bob Dole. My enthusiasm grew deeper still when I cast my votes each election, through 2012, when I proudly voted for Mike Huckabee. I am a true Republican who appreciates the no-holds-barred style of Bill O'Reilly and I go weak in the knees over Shep Smith. Last year I lost my job when a large corporation bought us out and cut jobs in order to maximize their profits. Continuing my insurance under COBRA was prohibitively expensive so, thank goodness for the Affordable Care Act. I was able to secure a basic plan for less than $100 per month and, while many criticize the plans for their high deductibles, it's never been an issue for me. After all, when you think about it, the deductibles really only apply if you actually choose to see a doctor. Thus, despite my love for all things Republican, I am compelled to tell you my story and encourage you to look past party differences and give the Affordable Care Act a chance.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 28, 2014 01:13 PM (DmNpO)

359 Hi, My name is Timon Blisterpaddle. I'm a serious progressive and a Daily Kos junky. My first Dad named me after the character in the Lion King, because he said since my other Dad's nickname is Mufasa, and my older brother already got Simba.

Anyway, when  I was making heart shapes in the top of a latte for one of my fave customers the other day I dropped it and scalded my arm. It was really bad and I was crying. Smurfette the manager said I'd be okay, since I had signed up for Obamacare. That made me feel a lot better. So I took my pink slip after I apologized for the mess and went to the hospital to get fixed up. Well, they said that this was the wrong place, and I should visit my assigned clinic, which is a 3 hour drive. I don't have anything serious enough for ER. So, I hopped on a bus and got to my designated care facility just after midnight.

But I could finally relax because Obamacare will fix me up good as new, right?

Well I'm here to tell you that's a load of shit. I've been here for three days now, and I've seen 2 techs and filled out enough paperwork to fill a fucking dumpster. It seems that if I needed pediatric vision care, I'd be at the front of the line. Or, an abortion. Man, talk about a turbo line - they've got a revolving door, no shit.

Unfortunately being a white, 35 year old male, keeping my left arm isn't "normal and customary" whatever the hell that means "at my age".

They say that I'm being discussed by the committee as I write this, and let me tell you it's hard to type on an iPad sitting in the same plastic chair I've been in for the past 72 hours when I can't feel my left hand anymore and it's turning funny colors and starting to smell bad. I guess I have to fill out another form for new dressing? Which one is that again?

In the meantime I think I've learned quite a bit of Spanish, it's just too bad all my amigos get in and out so fast. But I did learn something new from Javier I think might help me... ¿Cuándo voy a ver a un médico?
¿Por favor me ayude?

Posted by: Designated Health Facility 421, Blue level, section B at March 28, 2014 01:13 PM (pgQxn)

360 As a true red boned Republican who what came from an actual family with guns, and who knew his own father, I want to tells you something - ACA is a great law by a great man even though I am a racist and he had no vote in Congress except by proxy. I love Reagan. I have guns. I eat lots of meat, mainly while farting the Star Spanieled Bannert. I pray alliegance to the USA flag every afternoon like every one of my friends who watch Fox news and listen to Paul Harvey gab on about farmers a lot. Obamacare is the best thing since the interstate freeeway system was put in under Truman. I am older than dirt and I pray to Reagan.

Posted by: Bubba Jones IV Worthington Esq at March 28, 2014 01:13 PM (92l2D)

361 Nood. And first!

Posted by: rickb223 at March 28, 2014 01:13 PM (ndIek)

362 Nood. Please proceed accordingly.

Posted by: john01 at March 28, 2014 01:13 PM (ukNFU)

363 Hi, my name is Francis. I am very religious, and quite active in my Catholic community. Needless to say I have had some concerns about the mandates of Obamacare that seem to be at odds with religious liberties. But just recently I was able to personally hear the President speak to these issues and, Lordy, was I convinced. Now I feel everyone should sign up for Obamacare!

Posted by: Francis at March 28, 2014 01:13 PM (08jH8)

364 I signed up for Obamacare and got a free penis pump!

Posted by: Hepcat at March 28, 2014 01:14 PM (Q4mug)

365 Hi, I am an elephant. That's right. A real, live honest to God pachyderm. Also known metaphorically as a symbol of political strength and dignity. That is until the drive-by shooting. The doctors had to put me in suspended animation to repair the terrible damage. But at the same time they also gave me a sex change operation. Which also turned me into a donkey. But it's all good. I am still breathing and get to march in all the gay pride parades.

Thanks Obamacare!
Signed A. Jackass

Posted by: Marcus T at March 28, 2014 01:14 PM (tZb3y)

366 Fishing is pretty damned good right now.

Posted by: garrett at March 28, 2014 01:14 PM (3j/+H)

367 Hi. My name is Chris Christie. I'm a staunch conservative, pbbbfffft....snort...guffaw. Okay, okay, okay, I messed up. Let me start over...

Posted by: S. Muldoon at March 28, 2014 01:15 PM (g4TxM)

368 Hi, I'm Sandra F.

My boy-toy and I were used to hours and hours of unprotected sex which unfortunately sometimes led to "problems."
Now with ObamaCare I can screw like a horde of bunnies and know that I have abortion coverage for all those "problems."

Thanks Obama

PS come on over Barry so we can do a three-way

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at March 28, 2014 01:15 PM (e8kgV)

369

Some hilarious stuff here, guys.

 

Been laughing so hard, my cheek muscles are aching.

Posted by: wheatie at March 28, 2014 01:16 PM (iSCdf)

370 As the heir to a powerful family that armed America through most of her wars, I've always considered myself a staunch conservative, looking to protect America from foes foreign and domestic. If that involves me, my demi-god ally, and giant green monster super-scientist bestie going it alone, so be it. Of course, I've always been aware of the dangers of a single payer system and those advocate for it. But when I was forced to give up my self-insured ways, I discovered that gateway socialized medicine wasn't as bad as all those victims of it in other countries made it out to be. Instead, all I did after a recent scrape with a Russian supervillain was take a look at my Obamacare caddilac plan and then ignore it and go to Costa Rica for some great privatized custom health services. Also, my company recently received a 100 billion dollar defense contract in exchange for my support, so there's that. As in that's my price. $100 billion. What's yours, suckers?

Posted by: joeindc44 at March 28, 2014 01:17 PM (+JbYP)

371 Being born deaf, dumb and blind, I was obviously a Republican straight out of the womb. You can only imagine the health issues I have encountered over the years given all my various maladies. I had been denied health insurance for decades because of my "pre-existing" conditions. I spent many years on my knees praying for insurance I could afford. With my limitations, I obviously am not able to work. God finally heard my pleas, and I was fortunate to easily navigate the Obamacare website on my Braille iPad Air. Thanks to Obamacare, I have health insurance for the first time! I've also been able to cure that most onerous, life-long affliction, and just changed my party registration to Democrat...

Posted by: Helen Keller at March 28, 2014 01:18 PM (o6g4X)

372 I signed up for Obamacare and got a free penis pump!

Once I get out of here, I'm going to have to check that out.

Posted by: Donald Thompson at March 28, 2014 01:18 PM (0AKks)

373 I am an anti Obama traditional values pro traditional marriage and for low taxes. I have felt l along that ACA would raise the deficit bankrupt and weaken America and destroy its ability to fulfil it's overseas obligations. Thank you President Obama!

Posted by: Vladimir P at March 28, 2014 01:18 PM (DXQGz)

374 Hi, I'm Walter and I'm a lifelong conservative Republican. Even though I had insurance through my job as a high school chemistry teacher, the expenses related to my cancer treatment threatened to bankrupt my family. Eventually I had to leave my job as I could no longer function in a classroom environment. Desperate for money I resorted to dealing drugs with a former pupil of mine. My life spiraled out of control. I lost my wife, my house, and even witnessed the murder of my best friend and neighbor. Every time I thought I could escape the crushing weight of my medical bills, circumstances conspired against me, my family under constant threat of destitution and even jail. Thanks to Obamacare, I now only pay $62 dollars a month and it's the best healthcare I've ever had. Don't believe the critics. Sign up for Obamacare today. Say My Name, Walter W.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at March 28, 2014 01:18 PM (SY2Kh)

375 Hi, I'm Cletus Van Damm from Plano, TX. I'm no fan of Obama, am a staunch Tea Partier, and love Michelle Malkin so much I keep Filipino women tied up in my basement. But last year, I burned myself setting fire to a bunch of Dixie Chicks CDs, and I lost my health coverage. I tried Obamacare, and let me tell you, it covered ALL my skin grafts

Posted by: UGAdawg at March 28, 2014 01:19 PM (nyOqB)

376

Dear Penthouse conservative Blog site,

I never believed any of these stories were true, until one day when....

Posted by: Darth Randall at March 28, 2014 01:19 PM (6n332)

377
During a phase of life when money was hard to obtain, I make the mistake of flat-backing with client #9 and many others.  I hated every minute of sexing those creeps, especially the nine guy who wore black socks, but after all the bumping, I contacted venereal warts that reoccur frequently.

I am often treated for this malady, and without the ACA, it's doubtful I would be able to afford treatment.  Thank you President Obama for passing this wonderful healthcare bill because it allows me to keep my BMW and dine in Manhattan with many of my beautiful girlfriends. 

The best part about ObamaCare is the rate.  I currently pay about $114 each month and consider it a bargain. 

PS  I'm still doing a little stuff, so if your interested, please call me and we can arrange a date for a nominal fee.  The good news is if you have an eight ball, I'm in for the night with no fee.  Call me honey!

Posted by: Ashley Dupre at March 28, 2014 01:21 PM (nQjHM)

378 I was born with just a head, no arms, no legs, no real body to speak of, just a kind of lumpy thing below my neck. Other than listening to Rush Limbaugh there was no joy in my life until I found out that Obamacare lets me stay on my parents' health plan until I'm 26 years old. Mom just told me that to celebrate, she and Dad got me a special gift. I just hope that it's not another fucking hat.

Posted by: S. Muldoon at March 28, 2014 01:21 PM (g4TxM)

379 These are hilarious! I'm a bible-thumping reactionary knuckle-dragger who will shoot you 'tween the eyes if you think the world is more than 6,000 years old! But I loves me my big government takeover of healthcare!

Posted by: Teh Most Interesting Man at March 28, 2014 01:22 PM (dTh2r)

380 I thought the NFL came down hard on on FenelonSpiking? $20,000 fine or something?

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at March 28, 2014 01:22 PM (hn5v5)

381 Hi, my name is Mike Hausfrau and I'm a severe conservative Republican. I'm so Republican that I think Fred Phelps won't get into Heaven because he was a registered Democrat, and no amount of Holy Queer stomping is going to get that black mark off your soul. I'll never vote Democrat, because I don't want some commie New Yorker getting in my face telling me I can't marry my cousin Bonnie. We have 3 lovely children, Glenda, who has a great smile even with a cleft pallet, Jeff whose a little slow, but not chink lookin' retarded, and Cleetus whose right foot only has 3 toes, but that's OK, 'cause he'd probably shot them off by now if they weren't missing in the first place. Anyway, now that the lead smelting plant is gone, I'm outta work and money is tight. So we do our own doctoring. And they said my years of cooking meth would never amount to anything. I'll tell you my special blend moonshine will kill any of those microscopic buggers you poor it on. When it burns you knows its workin. Heck, it'll degrease your combine too! Anywho, we had to pull one of Cleetus' tooths the other day, so I decided to add it to our homeschool lesson on the space program. So we tied the tooth off to our Aerotech model rocket, at let fly. Faster than you can say "Houston we have a problem" the rocket exploded and took Cleetus' tooth with it. Unfortunately the force of the blast also dislocated his jaw, and gave him 1st degree burns on his frontside. Since dousing in my special blend just set Cleetus to smoldering, Bonnie insisted we take him down to the hospital. I took him to Doc Johnson's, but he wouldn't take Cleetus because he didn't have enough fur. I said "But it done burned off!" and Doc Johnson said, we'd have to take him to a hospital for people. So I said "Fine!" and drove him down to St. Luke's with all them rosary rattlers. So we get down there, and I tell 'em we don't have much money, with the meth heads switching to Krocadil and all. And they say "No problem. Just sign up for Obamacare" And I say what's an Obama? And they said "Its free health care" So I say "what's the catch?" And they said "Do you pay taxes? and I said "Hell no!" and they said "No catch". So now Cleetus got his jaw wired up, Glenda got her face fixed, but Jeff's still slow so there's that. But thank the Good Lord for Obamacare! Wait...whatdya mean the President's black? That's unpossible!

Posted by: Iblis at March 28, 2014 01:23 PM (zCnVx)

382 Damn straight. MittHeavy works for ObamaLite fans.

Posted by: Obama did not sign up for his own ACA shit. at March 28, 2014 01:23 PM (/vO0r)

383 Unh! Me caveman! Me like free stuff!

Posted by: Teh Most Interesting Man at March 28, 2014 01:24 PM (dTh2r)

384 I'm a life-long conservative, in the sense that I pull the lever for ultra right wing senator John McCain every six years, durn right on schedule. I don't even give it a thought!

As a staunch supporter of war in all its myriad forms, I was naturally reluctant to support a man like Barack Obama, his obvious genius and aptitude for the job notwithstanding.

Now I'm here to tell you something important: ObamaCare works. Sure there are a few minor issues, what with the Republicans doing their darndest to keep it from working, but take it from me: those people (MY PEOPLE) are wrong on this.

See, last year I was doing my conservative Christian duty by protesting at the funeral of a sodomite with all the other staunch Republicans just like me, when I got a sudden pain in my chest. I went to the Doctor because my shrew wife wouldn't shut up about it no matter how many times I backhanded her, and right away this fella wants to CUT OFF MY FEET!

Nobody dislikes Barack Obama more than me, his well-spoken, cool manners notwithstanding, but on this point he was right.

Now on my new ObamaCare plan, it's going to be a long time  before any doctor gets a chance to cut off one of my feet. Hell, I can't even get an appointment anywhere anyway, which suits me just fine. Now my wife can nag me all she wants about getting a physical, which only leaves me more time for the gun range and church services.

ObamaCare works!

Posted by: Kensington (@NYKensington) at March 28, 2014 01:24 PM (/AHDz)

385 Sure, banging this Vietnamese girl feels good in my McMansion on the wetlands, but a man has to think about the health of his penis. That's why I'm making this video about Obamacare

Posted by: Feh at March 28, 2014 01:27 PM (KyaHN)

386 I signed up for Obamacare and got a free penis pump!  .. and I'm not even a US citizen.

Posted by: Dr. Evil at March 28, 2014 01:29 PM (e8kgV)

387
I don't believe any of you dick-breath losers have ObamaCare, but are simply creating hate and discontent for one of America's best presidents evah.

Posted by: Kirsten Powers at March 28, 2014 01:30 PM (nQjHM)

388 Obamacare will change your life. It did mine!

Posted by: a dead Pittsburgh Hospital patient in suspended death trance at March 28, 2014 01:32 PM (/vO0r)

389 Hi, I'm the Devil in the Curtains. I make people like Dick Cheney who they are and absolutely love that most of the world population is going to drown as a result of climate change. However, due to a change in employment, I went from being able to afford a Cadillac health plan under my old job as the Devil in the Bush White House to being uninsured as the Devil in some Mormon Polygamist's Curtains. While I absolutely never thought that I would endorse any of the Great Works of the Messiah Barack Obama, I must confess that under ObamaCare, I now once again have affordable coverage, which is very useful since my new employer's sister-wives are abusive and are constantly inflicting injury upon me. Thanks ObamaCare!

Posted by: The Devil in the Curtains at March 28, 2014 01:32 PM (r/e1Q)

390 You all are, hands down, the funniest fuckers on the entire interwebs. 

Posted by: Peaches at March 28, 2014 01:33 PM (6wI9/)

391 Yeah this guy is a lying SOB

Obamacare is a bill meant to deny people care through insane amounts of bureaucratic paperwork and doublespeak.

I had my insurance canceled in December.  I had to buy a single policy through 'covered california' blueshield.  I bought the BEST POLICY.  PLATNUM 'ULTIMATE PPO'

I need injections every 2 months.  Never had a problem getting them.  Now, Obamacare is making my DR. fill out insane amounts of paperwork, and they are denying my care.  My DR. is pissed off and cannot believe what is going on.  Its been 6 months since my last injections, and I'm in agony.  Looks like i'm going to have to pay cash for it if i'm going to keep my job..  Then i'm cancelling Obamacare with extreme prejudice.  Hope I'm still allowed to do that...

This 'insurance' aka obamacare isn't insurance.  Its just a huge tax.  You get a card.  thats all.  They don't actually pay for anything.  This is below even a snake oil scam... and 'prezdint' is doing this to us.

For us to allow this crap to occur in our once great nation is a disgrace.  We live in a creepy pseudo democratic fascist state now..  It took only 6 years to happen.  A black 'president' can get away with anything.  This man is a disgrace to western civilization.  How we allowed this to occur will be forever discussed in future history books for thousands of years to come... To our ever-loving disgrace

I am ashamed and embarrassed for our once great nation.

For Gods' sake don't get sick or have a heart attack!  You'll never believe doctors would actually avoid you on purpose because you have obamacare until it happens

Posted by: Kevin Samsung at March 28, 2014 01:34 PM (TcDKW)

392 My boy-toy and I were used to hours and hours of unprotected sex Posted by: Sandra Fluke at March 28, 2014 05:15 PM (e8kgV) fnord (e8kgV) And you people were aghast when I said I'd hit that.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at March 28, 2014 01:35 PM (qyfb5)

393 Hi, my name is Dorothy and I'm originally from a small town in Kansas. Recently, three of my closest friends have all been diagnosed with serious health concerns. My friend Hunk, was diagnosed with heart troubles, and is waiting for placement on a list. His transgendered wife Zeke, must undergo testicular replacement. What nerve ! Hunk's husband, Hick, is in need of a brain procedure, as soon as possible. We've been told to contact some one named Sebilius about getting all these procedures. What a witch she turned out to be....... ( I just saw a bathtub fly by my window, BBL)

Posted by: seamrog at March 28, 2014 01:36 PM (5Kn1s)

394 I'm a staunch Republican who didn't know anything about Obamacare but then when I was down protesting Amerikkkan emperilism a giant paper mâché vagina fell on my foot. Luckily I happened to hear Chris Matthews say that Repulicans are racists so I signed up for Obamacare. Not only is foot healed but now I'm disabled and will never again be exploited Big Corporation. Thank you, Obamacare!

Posted by: Pinky Wymyn Vagina at March 28, 2014 01:39 PM (ZpKd+)

395 As a pistol packin', Hawt, Red State Grizzly MILF, you can imagine my surprise when I rolled an ankle while wearing my my favorite Republican red Laboutins! Who knew there were shoes that weren't made for walkin? Anywho, my Neanderthal, snow machine ridin', dog sleddin', eye candy husband forgot to sign us up for health insurance, so it was left to me. You can imagine the trepidation I felt if word ever got out that I was navigatin' THAT website! Luckily, I was able to get in and out with an awesome plan that covers everyone, includin' my retard baby. I have to keep things on the QT, but I'm whisperin' a very enthusiastic (but quiet) Thanks Obamacare!

Posted by: Sarah P. at March 28, 2014 01:39 PM (o6g4X)

396 Once again, I am reminded why I love hanging around with you morons. And I'm not even drunk!

Posted by: OregonMuse at March 28, 2014 01:40 PM (I8YZX)

397 I'm a Portuguese Water Dog and I love Obamacare!


Posted by: Hepcat at March 28, 2014 01:43 PM (Q4mug)

398 395 I signed up for Obamacare and got a free penis pump! .. and I'm not even a US citizen. I may need to email you after I have my prostate removed!

Posted by: Verla Insko, Lifelong Republican at March 28, 2014 01:44 PM (o6g4X)

399 I'm literally sitting here reading these aloud, accented where appropriate, and laughing my fucking ass off. Great job, Morons!

Posted by: mugiwara at March 28, 2014 01:44 PM (3a584)

400 302  Verla

Me too.  Lunch?

Posted by: NCwoof at March 28, 2014 01:44 PM (aUQgu)

401 My name is Binky Stephenson, I'm a father of four in the suburbs of St. Louis, Missouri, and I regularly tune into conservative pundits.

Posted by: Binky Stephenson at March 28, 2014 01:46 PM (D8Yi3)

402

I go to church Sunday and pray for the foot which I ranned ober with the Taco Truck. Mi abuela tell me sign up for Covered Ca.  Now I can limp to work and feed the 14 keeds. The EBT ees for the cerveza. Gracias ObamaCare!

Posted by: Manuel Labor at March 28, 2014 01:47 PM (wAQA5)

403 I love you all.

Posted by: MDH3 at March 28, 2014 01:54 PM (GKyUC)

404 Hello, I'm Bubba Johnson, illegitimate son of Bill Clinton and Emilu Johnson.

I rebelled against my father and became a staunch Republican.  But now that I'm battling heart disease and rosacea that's making my nose to swell, I'm glad there's Obamacare. 


Posted by: Hepcat at March 28, 2014 01:56 PM (Q4mug)

405 #393 this fella wants to CUT OFF MY FEET! Front-page worthy.

Posted by: m at March 28, 2014 01:57 PM (2AqeI)

406 I'm a conservative. I saw Rush Limbaugh on TV once, so you know it's true, And you can believe me when I tell you wingn- oops, I mean all of you fine, upstanding, God-fearing conservatives that Obamacare is the best thing ever invented.

Posted by: OregonMuse at March 28, 2014 01:57 PM (I8YZX)

407 OT/ Malaysian airliner sky writing: "Submit an application Now, Dorothy ! " Only 3 days left* (* subject to change )

Posted by: seamrog at March 28, 2014 02:01 PM (5Kn1s)

408 From his Facebook conversations it seems Mark the letter-writer works at Walmart.

Posted by: grammie winger at March 28, 2014 02:03 PM (oMKp3)

409 FWIW, he also claims he broke his foot in two places while at work, and Walmart made him come back after he went to the ER, and finish our his shift. Okay.

Posted by: grammie winger at March 28, 2014 02:05 PM (oMKp3)

410 My name is Emil Pudwakker. I am the reddest of red state residents in the red state of Texas. Problem is though, I needed to move to Oregon to be with my partner Billy Joe Jim Bob Walker just a couple of months ago. Found that I needed to sign up for Obamacare real quick like. You know what? The state website here in Oregon was a breeze to navigate, and even simpler to sign up on. I have no idea what the problem was all the right leaning sites like Breitbart and Ace of Spades was yammering on about. It was so easy, I almost gave up my Second Amendment rights- that's how easy it was. Anyway, thanks to Obamacare, I never have to worry about being uncovered, alone, and afraid anymore. I wonder if my coverage is portable to Texas if i ever go back to visit my ex-wife. Signed A Really Red- almost a Chinese Red- Republican. From Texas. Now in Oregon. Yeah.

Posted by: Bill H at March 28, 2014 02:06 PM (3sZO1)

411 I'm Speight Haterate, and I am NOT a Republican. The Republicans are nothing but a bunch of weak-kneed lily-livered pinky-in-the-damned-air panty-waists who'd all come out tomorrow as Lefty-Larry-Light-in-the-Loafers if it just weren't so danged cozy there in the closet playing naked-twister with their banker friends from Goldwhore-Saks 5th Ave. Screw those damn people! And don't even get me started on that damned Commie-in-Chief and his party of weak-tea-drinking oatmeal-dribbling limp-wristed mommy-pants clingers. they're too damned busy smuggling illegal aliens into the White House and laying pipe to underage student activists from the LBGT college club and B-list climate-wringers one botox injection away from walking the gutter at Hollywood and Slut. Screw those people! But you know what I like? I like Obamacare! You want to know why? Because I can't think of any faster damned way way to get rid of all you people. Screw you people!

Posted by: spd rdr at March 28, 2014 02:08 PM (+fXXA)

412 Summary of the fake-Republican "tells": "staunch Republican" - the more typical parlance would be "conservative" or maybe "Republican" "self-proclaimed" - no one proclaims themselves to be "self-proclaimed"; suggests it was written by someone else "Fox News addict" - Fox News is a dog whistle for the left not the right "the President" - this is a biggie. No. One. Not one person right of center calls him "the President" -- it's just "Obama" (or worse) "I wrote a letter to President Obama" - again, the "President Obama" thing; but also no conservative would ever send a letter to Obama with the hope that he would read it. No one. "I may not be a supporter of the President." - again with "the President," but also "may not be a supporter" is about as weak a statement of non-support as one could make. It's almost like it's written by a supporter, who just can't "go there." "I get mad when I see Obamacare dragged through the mud on television" - seriously? Perhaps he could be concerned that others will pass up a good opportunity on the basis of their misdirected emotion, but getting mad? Wouldn't happen to a conservative or Republican. "And even though I regularly tune in to conservative pundits," - huh? This is cringeworthy, like your dad trying to sound cool by using teenager slang with your friends." "Obamacare works." - for everyone because it worked for you? What's his motivation to stretch his anecdote this far? BS "It just might change your life." - well, at least you got that right, bi*ch

Posted by: cyrus pants at March 28, 2014 02:09 PM (scDPS)

413 My take after reading his Facebook history is that he's kind of koo koo.

Posted by: grammie winger at March 28, 2014 02:13 PM (oMKp3)

414 "And even though I regularly tune in to conservative pundits," - huh? This is cringeworthy, like your dad trying to sound cool by using teenager slang with your friends."

Yeah, it sounds about as authentic as Al Gore talking about his Christian faith.

Posted by: OregonMuse at March 28, 2014 02:13 PM (I8YZX)

415 Posted by: cyrus pants at March 28, 2014 06:09 PM (scDPS) **TWEEET!!!** Explaining the joke, 10 yard penalty and loss of down.

Posted by: Bill H at March 28, 2014 02:18 PM (3sZO1)

416 **TWEEET!!!** Explaining the joke, 10 yard penalty and loss of down.

Nonsense. Kudos to cyrus pants for his fine, ace-worthy analysis.

Posted by: OregonMuse at March 28, 2014 02:21 PM (I8YZX)

417

Hello everyone,

My name is Chai Rosensteinman,

I am an Ultra-Orthodox Right-wing settler jewish man, who is also very strongly Conservative, and who ordinarily would be hating anything associated with the Muslim in currently in the White House, as he has betrayed our only true ally – the Land of Israel. 

Several years ago, I developed a pre-existing condition when I sprained my ankle running down the emergency exit stairwell in my former job at the World Trade Center helping to accumulate wealth for the 1 %,  after I received  a mysterious phone call warning me away from the building on the morning of 9/11/01 - just in time, thanks to Hashem!!

I would have been dancing along with my fellow jews near the scene, but for my ankle!

Oy!!!

Anyway, I was then forced to go into the international diamond business, and many times had to go to Europe to pick up merchandise for my cousin Avi, back in New York, with a suitcase of jewels handcuffed to my wrist.   Recently,  on my way to present Avi with my new acquisitions, a group of young Shvartzes dark as the pit of Sheol and probably summoned from there as well  by the Anti-Semites Al Sharpton (spit spit)  and Louis Farrakhan (spit spit spit) surrounded me, as I could not run away due to my ankle injury,  and managed to chop off the hand with the suitcase handcuffed to it with a machete.

Due to my pre-existing ankle injury, I had no health insurance coverage, and was desperate  with no treatment to replace my missing hand – how could I support my 23 children?   Â– until my wife Goldie suggested I go onto Healthcare.gov and check out the options afforded me by the Affordable Care Act.

Now, thanks to the ACA and the special jewish technology developed in the Occupy Territory, I am bionic and feel like G-d’s “chosen people” once again!

 Biddy biddy biddy biddy biddy bum!!!

Sign up for the ACA this year before Passover rolls around – it is a real mitzvah!

Posted by: Schmuelly Lo-Tech at March 28, 2014 02:40 PM (u+Xox)

418 Ahem.

Posted by: The Barrel at March 28, 2014 02:43 PM (3a584)

419 Ouch.

Posted by: grammie winger at March 28, 2014 02:45 PM (oMKp3)

420 Yo dawg, I'm a real conservative with creds from Chi city jes keepin' the capitalism alive on the street corners. Sellin buds, blow an bitchez, know wut I'm sayin? Gots me ObamaCare after dem Hop Sing muthas drove by an capped my ass. Ha ha fuck the gubmint, they can't even clean up dis toilet. Soak those Mofos for every penny, dude. Needs execute ma secun-mendment now so's I can pay back them Asian Boyz. Later.

Posted by: Rufus T. Bone at March 28, 2014 02:46 PM (wAQA5)

421 427 Ahem. Posted by: The Barrel at March 28, 2014 06:43 PM Now THAT's funny.

Posted by: cyrus pants at March 28, 2014 02:46 PM (scDPS)

422 I went back thru four years of this guys Facebook conversations, wherein he details his various illnesses and ailments: Sprains, broken foot, broken ribs, seizures, and colonoscopies, some of which seem rather, umm, odd. There is no mention anywhere of any kind of cancer or chemotherapy. He appears to work at the deli in a local walmart.

Posted by: grammie winger at March 28, 2014 02:50 PM (oMKp3)

423 It sounds like it was written by the same email spammers who make $5000 a month working from home. And about as honest.

Posted by: Average Jen at March 28, 2014 02:51 PM (1WdJ6)

424

Ace, if you're still reading comments, I'd love to be able to find a photo you posted a few years back, possibly from Slublog? - of a stuffed donkey wearing a rubber elephant trunk, to illustrate these kind of "As a lifelong Republican I can't stand Bush / these crazy conservatives today / whatever" statements.  Any clues to help me find it in the archives?

Posted by: Alex at March 28, 2014 02:57 PM (/yzYn)

425 #426.

If you morons think those formatted paste-jobs are ugly on the outside, you ought to see the dog's breakfast you're presented with when you look at it in pixy's editor.  Ugh,

Posted by: OregonMuse at March 28, 2014 03:10 PM (I8YZX)

426 I am a card-carrying Teathuglican, from a family so conservative that even my mother is an old, white Christian male. When I am not waging a war on women, reading Glenn Beck books, or carrying my orders from Koch industries, I normally spend my time ranting about Obamacare... Or, I did, rather... Until, on a lark, I enrolled as part of a James O'Keefe sting operation. After paying my 9 dollar premium, I instantly grew about a half a foot and my sciatica vanished. I have 2020 vision, and my breath stopped smelling like pork rinds and pickled ages, which are the only foods we keep in our trailer. Our trailer, by the, sprouted a new half, and is now a double wide... Don't get me wrong, I still scream Benghazi and lie to make my points... But, I was wrong about Obama Care.

Posted by: bleck at March 28, 2014 03:29 PM (b6Qog)

427 I am a bleeding heart enviro liberal. I capture my farts in jars and eat my own feces to save the environment. I rescue animals and my hobbies include trying new vegan recipes and having at least 2 abortions a year. And I hate obamacare. Hillary 2016!

Posted by: Airandee at March 28, 2014 03:38 PM (96/TO)

428 "I may not be a supporter of the President. But now, I get mad when I see Obamacare dragged through the mud on television." HAHAHAHAHA. Bullshit. That sounds like a collaborative effort from Pajama Boy, Julia from the Life Of, and Jay Carney.

Posted by: Dion at March 28, 2014 04:01 PM (q+FIa)

429 Ever since we flee from tanks to live in the America, care of the health too much, always is too much. So. Years of treating by ourselves all sickness and injuries with Windex and Vodka of the Value-Rite, Flintstones gummis also; now? Now actual doctors we are to be seeing! No moneys take out of Vasili's plaid pants, because all is free! Clean-looking black man is clever, no? I vote still for the Republican, but the Obamascare is very good, as you too should try.

Posted by: -Shawn- at March 28, 2014 04:05 PM (9RxWG)

430 Dead giveaway #1 that the writer isn't a conservative: He refers to Obama as "the President." That's not how those who oppose Obama would refer to him in this context. They would say "I didn't vote for Obama." "I didn't vote for President Obama." "I didn't vote for this president." or something on that order. 

Dead giveaway #2: They would also note that they didn't vote for him TWICE. To further establish their credentials. "I didn't vote for him EITHER TIME." "I didn't vote for him "in 2008 or 2012." or something like that.

Dead giveaway #3: He capitalizes "President" despite the fact that, grammatically speaking, it is incorrect to do so in this context. You wouldn't write "the doctor," but you would write "Doctor Jones." Only someone being overly referential to Obama would make such an error.

Dead giveaway #4: He shills for ObamaCare. He could have stopped with: "Hey, I'm a conservative, but this law helped me." He wouldn't further go on to extol the virtue of a law which any conservative would hate - even if it helped him. He MIGHT say something along the lines of "Yeah. I didn't like the law either, but you should check it out. Maybe it will help in your particular circumstance even though I understand that it hurts the majority of Americans." His praise of the law would be fully caveated in order to fit it into an actual conservative worldview.

In short, this thing is so much bullshit that I can actually smell it from here.

Posted by: Jim B at March 28, 2014 06:03 PM (XIF5o)

431 This shit is gonna get good. My favorite thing about Ace is his ability to explain his thought processes. I often come to the same conclusions, but can't begin to explain how to get there. Ace reminds me of my kids when I ask why there's "poop on the wall" again.

Posted by: Matt at March 28, 2014 07:58 PM (VgrPC)

432 Does anyone know if Warren Buffet likes it? If he likes it then it must be good for the little guy.

Posted by: East Bay Jay at March 28, 2014 08:00 PM (7v8o1)

433 After my kids got "poop on the wall" again, the room went dark. When I came to, I was holding the family Bible in one hand, and waving Gramma's wedding shotgun . When the nice men told me Obamacare covered "bitter clingers", I felt my heart grow three sizes. I've always called myself Libertarian, but I must have been a Republican after all. Thanks for being there Obama!

Posted by: Matt at March 28, 2014 08:09 PM (VgrPC)

434 Here it is, Mark Bearden is real. https://www.facebook.com/mark.d.bearden?fref=tsere it is folks...

Posted by: D. Jones at March 28, 2014 10:57 PM (IphWE)

435 https://www.facebook.com/mark.d.bearden?fref=ts

Posted by: D. Jones at March 28, 2014 10:59 PM (IphWE)

436 I work in one of those giant university-owned mega organizations that was set up as an ACO to operate under Obamacare.  My office manager called me while I was at an out-of-town clinic to ask me to call a government site to change a password I never knew I had that had some kind of importance in obtaining a bonus payment from CMS under PQRI, or some such thing having to do with "meaningful use"--a bullshit term used to describe programs whereby "providers", or what used to be known as doctors, punch in some meaningless shit on their government mandated EMR's (electronic medical records), such as "medical education", or "smoking cessation", and then are eligible for bonuses tacked on to their ever-shrinking reimbursement for participating in these Pavlovian government programs.  It matters not whether you actually did or said the things you punch in to the computer, just that you hit the keys the way Big Brother wants to condition you to.  I called the goddam "place" and got an ear-full of  robot voices directing me here and there.  One of them explained that the site was so overloaded because people (like me) were calling in right before the deadline, that the deadline would be extended to Monday.  I still had no idea what I was supposed to be doing, but hopefully I'll be able to do so on Monday in our main office with the help of the IT staff, and get my few bits of corn like the chicken trained to play tic-tac-toe.
My point?  If the rest of this system works anything like what I experienced yesterday, this whole thing is a Chinese fire drill clusterfuck.  But that doesn't mean it will ultimately fail.  Look at the FDR administration.  Total failure from an operational standpoint, but a propaganda success, so much so that textbooks today still tout the benefits.
I have seen a couple of newly diagnosed cancer patients who were without insurance coverage get full benefits with no pre-existing condition exceptions.  You can see the appreciation in their eyes.  Thing is, they would have gotten coverage under Medicaid anyway, but now the benefits they get have that motherfucker's name attached to it and they are now his clients and the clients of his party.
This war is just getting started.  They are going to win many, many battles, but eventually they will run out of other people's money.  The problem with the inevitable win for our side is that we may have nothing left by the time we win.  These shit-head Democrats will have disemboweled America and all that will be left is a hollowed-out carcass.

Posted by: teapartydoc at March 29, 2014 05:20 AM (4U98b)

437

FOX NEWS?  "Fair and Balanced" just means the senile Harry Reid gets to speak!

 

Posted by: burt at March 29, 2014 06:45 AM (1+kJ5)

438 I also am a staunch Republican. BTW I caint spell too good so I had to cut and paste a lot of this. (BTW means also if you didn't know.) I'm even staunchier than Rush Limburgher—I'm from Dixie and love me some chick-fil-a, but I truly hate those damned Dixie Chicks. Something happened to me the other day and I just have to get it off my chest. Well, I admit it. I was drunk the day my mom got out of prison, and I went to pick her up in the rain. But before I could get to the station in the pick-up truck, She got runned over by a damned old train! It was a bad one. We didn't have no in-sur-ance but my buddy—Ol' Green Teeth—tole me all about Obama's new health care plan, the ACA. I don't know what that stands for and you should know that I think Obama is lower than a snake in a gully, but—by damn—Ol' Green Teeth was right! It turns out that I won't have to pay one buffalo nickel for Mama's healthcare, or her funeral neither.

Posted by: Jack at March 29, 2014 07:17 AM (mRu1t)

439 O-O-O I want to play! Here goes: Recently, I was down on the border exercising my 2A rights by taking pot shots at illegals when I backed into a bed of prickly pear! Woowhee - was I in a world of hurt! Thankfully, the border town I passed through had the only urgent care clinic in my ACA approved health policy network & they patched me right up! I'd already met my $6000 deductible back in Feb. when I had those neo-nazi tatts lasered off, so I was only on the hook for 30% after the $100 copay! Thanks, Obama! That was fun..

Posted by: BanditBird at March 29, 2014 09:46 AM (cRIgs)

440 I stumbled across this one... Dear Fellow Conservatives, I'm hater, yeah, just like you. I didn't vote for Obama because I use to hate anyone thats not like me. I just hate on people all the time unless they are like me. But I actually signed up for Obamacare just as a joke one time, and know what? It is great! I am a conservative Christian person, and I never voted for any democrats people before. But Obamacare is cool I am gonna vote for Obama next time for sure. I will definitely vote for him in the next election for sure. I also stopped hating people that look different of me, and Obamacare that I have to thank for changing me to not hate so much, and giving hope. Dr. Diane Mason

Posted by: MistressOverdone at March 29, 2014 06:49 PM (2/oBD)

441 Hi, I'm Bud. I'm so republican that I told my wife the only man she could cheat on me with was Newt Gingrich. Recently unfortunately I caught Herpes, must have been at the Cracker Barrel public toilet. Anyway signed up for Obamacare and that anti-itch cream don't cost me a dime!

Posted by: Awnree at March 30, 2014 05:33 PM (hE05f)

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