Ace of Spades HQ

April 10, 2014

Wow
— Ace

If this is a joke, it's not evident from the written transcript:

Lord Lawson of Blaby (Con):
My Lords, is it not clear that my noble friend the Minister is completely mistaken in saying that it is not a question of mitigation or adaptation but both? There are competing claims on resources, and we have to decide which is our priority. Is it to decide single-handedly to decarbonise the world and thus, to no useful purpose, push up British energy prices, make fuel more expensive for British homes and litter the countryside with wind farms and solar panels? Is it not better instead to devote our resources to increasing our resilience to extreme weather events, whether or not the frequency of such events is marginally increased by global warming?
Baroness Verma:
As always, I am extremely grateful to my noble friend for his intervention. However, I am also grateful to him for allowing me to say that the UK has among the cheapest energy prices in Europe. I think my noble friends will agree that this is about measures that address the issues of today, but which also look forward to ensuring that we have a much better future.
Viscount Simon (Lab):
My Lords, the noble Lord, Lord Judd, mentioned food in his initial supplementary question. In a programme some months ago on the BBC, it was stated that this country has the largest production and consumption of baked beans in the world. Can the noble Baroness say whether this affects the calculation of global warming by the Government as a result of the smelly emission resulting therefrom?
Baroness Verma:
The noble ViscountÂ’s question is so different. He raises a very important point, which is that we need to moderate our behaviour.

I suppose that Viscount Simon might have been making a joke-- but he's Labor (the left). And the BBC doesn't indicate that he was joking.

Now, actually, yeah, those smelly emissions are methane and methane is in fact a greenhouse gas.

In fact, one of the major sources of greenhouse gases are cows' smelly emissions.

But this idea that we have to "moderate" our farting to save the planet...

Posted by: Ace at 10:48 AM | Comments (517)
Post contains 364 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Buuuuuurp!

Posted by: rickb223 at April 10, 2014 10:48 AM (d0Dmj)

2 Wow what? Guess I need to check the link.

Posted by: Country Singer at April 10, 2014 10:49 AM (L8r/r)

3 Do Brits eat a lot of beans? I don't get it.

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 10:49 AM (GQ8sn)

4 The vegans are gonna have a sad when they find out protein comes from beans.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 10, 2014 10:49 AM (d0Dmj)

5 Does anyone really pay any attention to debates in the House of Lords between baronesses and viscounts?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 10, 2014 10:50 AM (8ZskC)

6 April 10

not

April 01

Posted by: Mega at April 10, 2014 10:50 AM (hHFOx)

7 Dutch oven anyone?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 10, 2014 10:50 AM (t3UFN)

8 The Green lobby have long been concerned about methane emissions from cows possibly contributing to global warming, but few have so far focused on human emissions. An electronic bracelet probably won't work for this one.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 10, 2014 10:51 AM (8ZskC)

9 Fuck you .

Posted by: Mongo at April 10, 2014 10:51 AM (XWw96)

10 Bean on toast is the scourge of us all!!!!!

Posted by: no good deed at April 10, 2014 10:51 AM (ILBCY)

11 They can have my baked beans when they take them from my cold, dead,...uh...

Posted by: joncelli at April 10, 2014 10:51 AM (RD7QR)

12 Well, that is the last of Pax Britannica .

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at April 10, 2014 10:51 AM (l3vZN)

13 Forget cutting back on the baked beans. Cut back on the fucking Guinness. Gah. Save the planet AND save the olfactory sense of those around you.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 10:51 AM (4df7R)

14 A short thread with an even shorter lifespan.

Posted by: toby928© at April 10, 2014 10:51 AM (QupBk)

15 Does anyone really pay any attention to debates in the House of Lords between baronesses and viscounts?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 10, 2014 02:50 PM (8ZskC)

When I hear the word "Baroness", I always picture a certain look.

Am I right in this case?

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 10:52 AM (GQ8sn)

16 are we SURE this wasn't an April's Fool article that ran the wrong day..? I can hardly wait to see what Colbert's take on this will be.

Posted by: mallfly at April 10, 2014 10:52 AM (bJm7W)

17 and of course it's back as soon as I comment. Doh.

Posted by: toby928© at April 10, 2014 10:52 AM (QupBk)

18 Is "viscount" pronounced "vie-count" or "vee-count?"

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 10:52 AM (4df7R)

19 Read the piece at the link.

OK, I skimmed it.

I had lamb for lunch. In my digestive system, this trumps beans. Exponentially.

I think I'll find an Englishman, hold him down, and fart in his face now.

Where's Piers Morgan?

Posted by: Country Singer at April 10, 2014 10:53 AM (L8r/r)

20 Is it too much to ask that Climate Change minister Baroness Verma be placed in the stocks with her face ass high in Piccadilly Circus for 72 hours,- during which all and sundry may come and fart in her face. Is that really too much to ask?

Posted by: naturalfake at April 10, 2014 10:53 AM (0cMkb)

21 3 Do Brits eat a lot of beans? I don't get it.

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 02:49 PM (GQ8sn)

Yes.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 10:53 AM (4df7R)

22 Dutch oven anyone? Um, no.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 10, 2014 10:53 AM (d0Dmj)

23 Clearly, the bean rations need to be increased from 85 grams to 60 grams.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at April 10, 2014 10:53 AM (T0MgD)

24 Are these real people or some kind of BBC comedy sketch?

Posted by: Citizen X at April 10, 2014 10:53 AM (7ObY1)

25 Beans, beans they warm the heart . . .

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 10, 2014 10:54 AM (BAS5M)

26 "More beans, Mr. Taggart?" "I think you've had enough!"

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at April 10, 2014 10:54 AM (APuJ7)

Dutch oven anyone?

-----

Or Dutch Door Action, maybe

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at April 10, 2014 10:54 AM (T0MgD)

28 Pro tip: Once you hit 50, never trust a fart.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 10, 2014 10:54 AM (d0Dmj)

29 No Baked Beans for You!

Posted by: M-16 British Bean Nazi at April 10, 2014 10:54 AM (RJMhd)

30 Rather than decreasing bean consumption, why not just subsidize Beano for everyone? I mean, you're a bunch of socialist twinks in Parliament, right? Subsidies are your thing.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 10:54 AM (4df7R)

31 Mandatory Butt plugs by the Year 2020, perfect confluence of the Gays and the Greens.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 10, 2014 10:54 AM (ZshNr)

32 Viscount Simon (Lab) They let dogs in the Parliament?

Posted by: Citizen X at April 10, 2014 10:54 AM (7ObY1)

33 Ok, I googled Baroness Verma.

One Baroness fantasy utterly destroyed.

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 10:54 AM (GQ8sn)

34 "Do Brits eat a lot of beans? I don't get it." Baked beans are essential to a proper English breakfast.

Posted by: jwest at April 10, 2014 10:54 AM (u2a4R)

35 We also need to consider the possibility that bean-loving Mexican immigrants might contribute greatly to America's long-term alternative fuel needs.

Posted by: El Gobernador Jeb Bush at April 10, 2014 10:54 AM (8ZskC)

36 21 3 Do Brits eat a lot of beans? I don't get it. Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 02:49 PM (GQ8sn) Yes. --- Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, and spam!

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at April 10, 2014 10:54 AM (APuJ7)

37 Want some beans Baroness?

Posted by: Lyle at April 10, 2014 10:55 AM (BAS5M)

38 25 3 Do Brits eat a lot of beans? I don't get it. Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 02:49 PM (GQ8sn) ************ They eat 'em for breakfast--I shat you not.

Posted by: M-16 British Bean Nazi at April 10, 2014 10:55 AM (RJMhd)

39 Do Brits eat a lot of beans? I don't get it. Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 02:49 PM (GQ8sn) Apparently beans on toast if a big Brit breakfast thing. This is always a source of great confusion in fandom when a Brit show gets popular and the fic starts being written and the Americans are all what the fuck you have baked beans on toast for breakfast what the actual fuck.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 10:55 AM (mf5HN)

40 Humans bad. Unless they seek to save others by enslaving them.

Posted by: --- at April 10, 2014 10:55 AM (MMC8r)

41 What's next? Bangers and mash?

Posted by: jwest at April 10, 2014 10:55 AM (u2a4R)

42 Lord Lawson of Blaby (Con) I can think of a lot of politicians who should have (Con) after their name. Start with Charles Rangel and Elijah Cummings. From there, it's a long list.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 10, 2014 10:56 AM (7ObY1)

43 Isn't vegimite Australian? --- Originally, yes, but it doesn't mean it hasn't moved over to Britain. Christ, I think they eat more curry in London than in Mumbai.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at April 10, 2014 10:56 AM (APuJ7)

44 Put a cork in it!!

Posted by: M-16 British Bean Nazi at April 10, 2014 10:56 AM (RJMhd)

Stiff upper lips and tightened sphincters.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 10, 2014 10:56 AM (DrWcr)

46 One Baroness fantasy utterly destroyed. A riding crop would be involved, just not the way you pictured it.

Posted by: toby928© at April 10, 2014 10:56 AM (QupBk)

47 Didn't Mandatory Butt Plug tour with Butthole Surfers in 1996?

Posted by: no good deed at April 10, 2014 10:56 AM (ILBCY)

48 We are a silly people. A silly people of a rotting civilization.

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 10:56 AM (O96tM)

49 They eat 'em for breakfast--I shat you not. You eat 'em for breakfast & shat you will!

Posted by: rickb223 at April 10, 2014 10:56 AM (d0Dmj)

50 43 What's next? Bangers and mash? --- Did someone say spicy faggots?!?

Posted by: Andi Sullivan at April 10, 2014 10:56 AM (APuJ7)

51 Clench Tight and Carry On

Posted by: toby928© at April 10, 2014 10:57 AM (QupBk)

52 39 25 3 Do Brits eat a lot of beans? I don't get it. Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 02:49 PM (GQ8sn) Hell yeah, an baked beans for breakfast are good as shit. Probably helps you shit too! Cheap protein is why they are popular.

Posted by: Nip Sip at April 10, 2014 10:57 AM (0FSuD)

53 Environmentalism is an anti-human nature cult. Four legs good. Two legs bad.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 10:57 AM (ZPrif)

54 You eat 'em for breakfast & shat you will! SWEET! Comodo Dragon gives ampersands! &&&&&&

Posted by: rickb223 at April 10, 2014 10:57 AM (d0Dmj)

55 in b4 Lady Pooperly!

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 10:57 AM (O96tM)

56 The "British Foods" section of Wegmans has a lot of Heintz Baked Beans. The Who even wrote a song about it, cleverly titled "Heintz Baked Beans." The Brit Foods section also has Spotted Dick, but that's a tale for another time.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 10, 2014 10:57 AM (7ObY1)

57 So, what's this bullshit about cutting back on Mr. Bean?

Posted by: Rowan Atkinson at April 10, 2014 10:57 AM (8c12T)

58 or Lady Tooterly

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 10:57 AM (O96tM)

59 Isn't vegimite Australian?

Are Vegemite and Marmite the same thing? Chemical composition, I mean; they're both vile.

Posted by: HR at April 10, 2014 10:57 AM (ZKzrr)

29 -

Even over 40, it's trust but verify.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 10, 2014 10:57 AM (TOk1P)

61 A riding crop would be involved, just not the way you pictured it.

Posted by: toby928Â© at April 10, 2014 02:56 PM (QupBk)

I blame watching GI Joe cartoons as a kid. The Baroness and her thick Eurotrash accent, with her skin-tight latex catsuit, and a rack that would tip Guam over. Twice.

Gone....

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 10:57 AM (GQ8sn)

62 They can have my baked beans when they take them from my cold, dead,...uh...

Posted by: joncelli at April 10, 2014 10:57 AM (RD7QR)

63 I wish my lab would modify her "behavior". That dog can light up a room and clear it with her "emissions".

Posted by: Cheri at April 10, 2014 10:57 AM (G+Wff)

64 Apparently beans on toast if a big Brit breakfast thing. This is always a source of great confusion in fandom when a Brit show gets popular and the fic starts being written and the Americans are all what the fuck you have baked beans on toast for breakfast what the actual fuck.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 02:55 PM (mf5HN)

...

Okay, this might just be a me thing, but that's not normal American breakfast fare? I am dead serious. What about with eggs? Don't people eat eggs, beans and toast at breakfast?

Sometimes I'm not sure what I know of life comes from my mom being British. *whine*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 10:58 AM (4df7R)

65 Baroness Verma does indeed exist, a member of the House of Lords and a Junior Minister in the Ministry of Energy and Climate Change. What she said or is smoking is beyond my ken to verify.

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at April 10, 2014 10:58 AM (l3vZN)

66 The Brit Foods section also has Spotted Dick, but that's a tale for another time.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 10, 2014 02:57 PM (7ObY1)

There's medication for that, but the National Health Service doesn't provide it.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 10, 2014 10:58 AM (DrWcr)

67 Apropos to nothing- Vegetarians and vegans are absolutely the most unpleasant people in the world to be around from an olfactory standpoint. They fart constantly. So unless you have a wild desire to smell the inside of a vegetarians/vegans colon, stay away.

Posted by: naturalfake at April 10, 2014 10:58 AM (0cMkb)

68 Lady Shatterly

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 10:58 AM (O96tM)

mine are loud but not stinky. So i exempt myself.

but, yes, my shit does stink.

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at April 10, 2014 10:58 AM (SO2Q8)

70 The Brit Foods section also has Spotted Dick, but that's a tale for another time. --- Can you believe this guy? I'm trying to get something to eat and he's asking me if I got the clap.

Posted by: Roy O'Bannion at April 10, 2014 10:58 AM (APuJ7)

71 She's no Baroness Velma, that's for sure, eh Scoob?

Posted by: Shaggy at April 10, 2014 10:58 AM (BAS5M)

72 Is the "baked bean breakfast" more middle class and less high brow? This suggestion is coming from the House of Lords.

Posted by: M-16 British Bean Nazi at April 10, 2014 10:58 AM (RJMhd)

73 We could establish an international fart emission credit market where killing one cow will entitle you to fart excessively for up to six months.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 10, 2014 10:58 AM (8ZskC)

74 Perhaps the Lords saw this..... http://tinyurl.com/mpfmxvh

Posted by: Nip Sip at April 10, 2014 10:59 AM (0FSuD)

75 70 Lady Shatterly Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 02:58 PM (O96tM) ******* LOL!

Posted by: M-16 British Bean Nazi at April 10, 2014 10:59 AM (RJMhd)

76 In b4... ..roll that beautiful bean footage..!

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 11:00 AM (O96tM)

77 I've often heard Her Majesty say, give me a Sandwich and a Douchebag and there's nothing I can't do.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 10, 2014 11:00 AM (7ObY1)

78 Bangers and mash. *om nom nom*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:00 AM (4df7R)

79 Okay, this might just be a me thing, but that's not normal American breakfast fare? I am dead serious. What about with eggs? Don't people eat eggs, beans and toast at breakfast?

Everything except for the beans.

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 11:00 AM (GQ8sn)

80 Baron Von Barrrrnt!

Posted by: M-16 British Bean Nazi at April 10, 2014 11:00 AM (RJMhd)

81 Brits have Bovril (meat extract) and Marmite (yeast extract), which is Vegemite in Australia.

Posted by: --- at April 10, 2014 11:00 AM (MMC8r)

82 In some way, isn't this the story of Obama?

Posted by: RUReadingthis at April 10, 2014 11:00 AM (1xtIS)

83 79 I've often heard Her Majesty say, give me a Sandwich and a Douchebag and there's nothing I can't do. --- Spoken like a true Douchebag.

Posted by: Lord Sandwich at April 10, 2014 11:01 AM (APuJ7)

84 Beef jerky?

No son, it gives me wind,
something terrible.

Posted by: GnuBreed at April 10, 2014 11:01 AM (wNF3N)

85
Everything except for the beans.

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 03:00 PM (GQ8sn)

Really? Okay, I'll have to remember that.

We drink tea though, right?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:01 AM (4df7R)

Don't people eat eggs, beans and toast at breakfast?

When I make scrambled eggs, I always cover them with pork and beans.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at April 10, 2014 11:01 AM (T0MgD)

87 I believe sweasel has a wall of beans in her pantry

Posted by: Rowan Atkinson at April 10, 2014 11:01 AM (8c12T)

88 Has anyone gotten metrics on whale farts? There may not be that many but I bet they're huge.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 10, 2014 11:01 AM (8ZskC)

89 Pro tip: Once you hit 50, never trust a fart. Posted by: rickb223 at April 10, 2014 02:54 PM (d0Dmj) Do tell.

Posted by: physics geek's underwear at April 10, 2014 11:01 AM (MT22W)

90 I have a friend who was born and raised in Berlin. They eat the "English Breakfast" there too. Beans and all. He showed me some pictures of typical English Breakfasts. The fuck. That's breakfast, lunch and dinner, and I have a big appetite.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 10, 2014 11:01 AM (7ObY1)

91 animals from 2 legged to 4 legged toss dishonorable and harmful emissions out willy nilly, to address this i think all animals other than Our l-ds and masters and their special children should be put to sleep, but gently you know , starvation, not shooting them or anything.

Posted by: willow at April 10, 2014 11:01 AM (nqBYe)

92 But this idea that we have to "moderate" our farting to save the planet... Pull my finger...

Posted by: blaster at April 10, 2014 11:01 AM (4+AaH)

93 (meat extract)

I need my brain washed out with soap.

Posted by: HR at April 10, 2014 11:01 AM (ZKzrr)

94 EAT MOAR KOWS

Posted by: the chikins at April 10, 2014 11:01 AM (SO2Q8)

95 Let me stop you right there, Beth. Eggs and soldiers aren't a thing here either.

Posted by: no good deed at April 10, 2014 11:01 AM (ILBCY)

96 Really? Okay, I'll have to remember that.

We drink tea though, right?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 03:01 PM (4df7R)

Honestly, I don't know. It may be a regional thing here in the US, but I've never had baked beans for breakfast.

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 11:02 AM (GQ8sn)

97 Spoken like a true Douchebag. There will always be plenty of Douchebags in Parliament.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 10, 2014 11:02 AM (7ObY1)

98 "What about with eggs? Don't people eat eggs, beans and toast at breakfast? " A proper English breakfast has eggs and bacon, baked beans, blood sausage, fried tomato, mushrooms and sometimes some hash browns. With toast and tea, of course.

Posted by: jwest at April 10, 2014 11:02 AM (u2a4R)

The Who even wrote a song about it, cleverly titled "Heintz Baked Beans."

Then there was that baked beans scene in "Tommy", also written by The Who.

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 10, 2014 11:02 AM (BAS5M)

100 Pro tip: Once you hit 50, never trust a fart. Posted by: rickb223 at April 10, 2014 02:54 PM (d0Dmj) So true, you just never know when your ass will betray you.

Posted by: spypeach at April 10, 2014 11:02 AM (10H0T)

101
"Viscount Simon..."

"Silly Party."

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at April 10, 2014 11:03 AM (kdS6q)

102 There is a city in the UK named Cockermouth. Make of it as you will....

Posted by: Rowan Atkinson at April 10, 2014 11:03 AM (8c12T)

103 Don't people eat eggs, ~~beans~~ bacon and toast at breakfast?

Sometimes I'm not sure what I know of life comes from my mom being British. *whine*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 02:58 PM (4df7R)

Welcome to America.

Posted by: Country Singer at April 10, 2014 11:03 AM (L8r/r)

104 We drink tea though, right?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 03:01 PM (4df7R)

Sweet tea!

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 11:03 AM (GQ8sn)

105 that gives me an idea for some sophisticated humour.

Posted by: Benny Hill at April 10, 2014 11:03 AM (l3vZN)

106 But this idea that we have to "moderate" our farting to save the planet... ************ Have you ever smelled hippies in San Fran after their granola....

Posted by: M-16 British Bean Nazi at April 10, 2014 11:03 AM (RJMhd)

107 Dang it, I thought the first iteration had disappeared.

Posted by: joncelli at April 10, 2014 11:03 AM (RD7QR)

108 "Upon further inspection we find these principles not at all consistent with a Catholic moral theory, they constantly neglect humanity's place as the pinnacle of creation and while they claim to be concerned with 'stewardship' and 'intergenerational justice' they instead would see our species eliminated." --tsrblke (Modified quote.)

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 10, 2014 11:03 AM (HDwDg)

109 another wack job , :you know i think we should start with the Old Farts then move to those other disreputable people that don't think like we do. you know those that won't take our theories seriously enough"

Posted by: willow at April 10, 2014 11:03 AM (nqBYe)

110 Let me stop you right there, Beth. Eggs and soldiers aren't a thing here either.

Posted by: no good deed at April 10, 2014 03:01 PM (ILBCY)

But they're yummy! Y'all are missing out.

And don't you go dissing toast soldiers. Toast soldiers dipped into a soft boiled egg. *stomach growls* DAMMIT.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:03 AM (4df7R)

111 In fairness, I've prepared frijoles negros refritos with eggs, kielbasa and grits for breakfast.

Posted by: toby928© at April 10, 2014 11:03 AM (QupBk)

112 But this idea that we have to "moderate" our farting to save the planet... But they keep talking. Such hypocrites.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at April 10, 2014 11:03 AM (m58Tu)

113

Never in my life, not once before I hit this thread, have I heard of beans for breakfast.

I've seen enough English tv and movies, so I figured they all ate those skinny fish for breakfast, but beans?

Crazy, man.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 10, 2014 11:04 AM (TOk1P)

114 I'd like to think the eco-nazis and enviro-cultists are losing their jihad against America. Is there any evidence of that, though?

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 11:04 AM (ZPrif)

115 Honestly, I don't know. It may be a regional thing here in the US, but I've never had baked beans for breakfast. Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 03:02 PM (GQ8sn) Some areas of VA and MA where English tradition still lives they serve beans, sliced tomatoes and maybe some herring roe fried up with the eggs. Now I am getting hungry.

Posted by: Nip Sip at April 10, 2014 11:04 AM (0FSuD)

116 My mum's a brit, and she loves her some beans on toast.

Posted by: spypeach at April 10, 2014 11:04 AM (10H0T)

117 Who names their kid Viscount?

Posted by: The LIV at April 10, 2014 11:04 AM (Aif/5)

118 Every time we get a glimpse into the Leftist's magical Utopia, the more idiotic and perverse it appears. The weather in Leftist Utopia is always the same. The politics in their Utopia are monolithic. Everyone drives the same car. Everyone eats the same food. Everyone has the same apartment. And no one poops.

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 11:04 AM (O96tM)

119

Bad news:

I had Taco Bell the other day and I set the crusade against global warming back by 50 years. I think the earth shan't recover from this one....

Posted by: Jollyroger at April 10, 2014 11:04 AM (t06LC)

120 Viscount Simon's other name is "John Cleese"

Posted by: MTF at April 10, 2014 11:04 AM (1Boes)

121 113 In fairness, I've prepared frijoles negros refritos with eggs, kielbasa and grits for breakfast.

Posted by: toby928Â© at April 10, 2014 03:03 PM (QupBk)

Whoa whoa whoa, that's cultural appropriation!

Posted by: Insomniac at April 10, 2014 11:04 AM (DrWcr)

122 fried tomato That what they mean by Fried Tom on a Bap? (and they say WE mutilate The King's English.)

Posted by: Citizen X at April 10, 2014 11:04 AM (7ObY1)

123 Bet ya he owns stock in Beano.

Posted by: M-16 British Bean Nazi at April 10, 2014 11:04 AM (RJMhd)

124 I'd like to think the eco-nazis and enviro-cultists are losing their jihad against America. Is there any evidence of that, though? I'll let you know after this can of pork & beans......

Posted by: rickb223 at April 10, 2014 11:05 AM (d0Dmj)

125 Did the Viscount maybe mean to put a /sarc tag there?

Posted by: blaster at April 10, 2014 11:05 AM (4+AaH)

126 It astounds me to hear hereditary peers, who have never worked a day in their lives (and going back 5 or more generations in most cases), discussing bodily emanations as if it were a serious issue.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at April 10, 2014 11:05 AM (T0MgD)

127 The above describes a world of which a child would conjure, btw.

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 11:05 AM (O96tM)

128

@115

Never in my life, not once before I hit this thread, have I heard of beans for breakfast.

Clearly you've never been to Mexico.

Posted by: Jollyroger at April 10, 2014 11:05 AM (t06LC)

129 Let them eat farts!

Posted by: Good Lt at April 10, 2014 11:05 AM (0xh/L)

130 Who names their kid Viscount?

Three of 'em on my block.

Posted by: Sno'flaque at April 10, 2014 11:05 AM (ZKzrr)

131 Why are there 239 beans in Irish stew?

Because one more would make it too farty.

Posted by: Phinn at April 10, 2014 11:05 AM (i5GO4)

132 A disturbed and dull child.

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 11:05 AM (O96tM)

133 Let me say right now, English sausage?* SO GOOD. I wish we could get it over here, but what with Mad Cow that's pretty much impossible.

*Get your pervy minds out of the gutter, you lot. I can HEAR you leering.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:05 AM (4df7R)

134 Problem is the eco-nazis are deeply burrowed in at the highest levels of government. And it's a cult that has found a lot of adherents among the uber-rich and the secular ruling class look for something to replace the Christianity they have abandoned.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 11:06 AM (ZPrif)

135 Don't people eat eggs, beans and toast at breakfast?

That's a brit thing, MWR, and it's wonderful. Melt some cheese in the beans and you get eggs and cheesy beans on toast.

Posted by: Mega at April 10, 2014 11:06 AM (hHFOx)

136 In a hundred years the present environmental alarmism will be viewed to be as rational as Shakerism and Santeria. There are many ways nature conspires to kill us. But farts would not crack the top thousand.

Posted by: Beagle at April 10, 2014 11:06 AM (sOtz/)

137 Don't think that some egghead isn't trying to invent electronic underwear that will monitor your "emmissions". Over the limit = fart tax. Going commando will now be against the law.

Posted by: Cheri at April 10, 2014 11:06 AM (G+Wff)

138 You know what causes the stinkiest farts evah? Seaweed. Mother of Gaia.

Posted by: M-16 British Bean Nazi at April 10, 2014 11:06 AM (RJMhd)

139 So did any of you all or your kids grow up eating beanie weenies? Same theory. Cheap protein.

Posted by: Nip Sip at April 10, 2014 11:06 AM (0FSuD)

140 L-rd Poopy, "shouldn't brocolli, salads, and meat also be on the list?" Duchess Idiot, ' Yes, i believe eveything should be on the list that insults Gaia, perhaps we can make them eat oatmeal instead:. L-rd Poopy, "perfect , we've found our answer".

Posted by: willow at April 10, 2014 11:06 AM (nqBYe)

141 Well, I did my part to alleviate this really cold winter. *Pprrrttt*

Posted by: votermom at April 10, 2014 11:07 AM (GSIDW)

142 Let me say right now, English sausage?* SO GOOD. I wish we could get it over here, but what with Mad Cow that's pretty much impossible. What does "that times of the month" have to do with it? (Ducking & running)

Posted by: rickb223 at April 10, 2014 11:07 AM (d0Dmj)

143 You know what causes the stinkiest farts evah? Posted by: M-16 British Bean Nazi at April 10, 2014 03:06 PM (RJMhd) Pregnancy. My wife was walking death when she was carrying each of our three children. I swear that the silk flowers wilted.

Posted by: physics geek at April 10, 2014 11:07 AM (MT22W)

144

Melt some cheese in the beans and you get eggs and cheesy beans on toast.

And it is my understanding that adding the cheese negates the effect of the beans.

Or not.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at April 10, 2014 11:07 AM (T0MgD)

145 i do think Soy should be out at this point. tastes like crap and well. the unmentionable thing happens.

Posted by: willow at April 10, 2014 11:07 AM (nqBYe)

146 A proper English breakfast has eggs and bacon, baked beans, blood sausage, fried tomato, mushrooms and sometimes some hash browns. With toast and tea a big fookin' glass of porter, of course. FIFY Years ago I ate an English breakfast at a pub in the slaughter house district of London. And those slaughter house guys downed their breakfast with porter. Therefore, so did I. Wonderful breakfast, even the blood sausage was larrupin'. And with the dang glass of porter so filling didn't need to eat lunch or dinner.

Posted by: naturalfake at April 10, 2014 11:07 AM (0cMkb)

147 How about those eco-tard Brits stick some tubing up their asses connected to a tank to capture all their emissions, and then use them to power their generators!

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 11:07 AM (GQ8sn)

148 How much do the eco-fascist regulations contribute to the insanely high cost of infrastructure in America. Takes forever to build a highway or bridge nowadays. A big part of that is all the enviro studies that have to be done and the endless court cases as the eco-nazis sue to block every proposed road and bridge.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 11:08 AM (ZPrif)

149 Pro tip: Once you hit 50, never trust a fart.

Word.

Posted by: Al Roker at April 10, 2014 11:08 AM (4WhSY)

150 Don't think that some egghead isn't trying to invent electronic underwear that will monitor your "emmissions". Over the limit = fart tax. Going commando will now be against the law. Posted by: Cheri at April 10, 2014 03:06 PM

I'm thinking bracelet.

Posted by: Eric Holder at April 10, 2014 11:08 AM (bAGA/)

151 Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 03:03 PM (4df7R) In some what whacky inversion, when I was in Honduras, Eggs, beans and toast was dinner. (There may not have been toast, I don't' remember.)

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 10, 2014 11:08 AM (HDwDg)

152
That's a brit thing, MWR, and it's wonderful. Melt some cheese in the beans and you get eggs and cheesy beans on toast.

Posted by: Mega at April 10, 2014 03:06 PM (hHFOx)

I honest to God didn't know it wasn't an American thing, too. Must be a mix of being in New England and having a Brit mum. I don't have beans with breakfast often, but there's nothing like it on a cold day in the middle of winter! Beans, eggs, toast, some fried ham or pancakes...

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:08 AM (4df7R)

153 England is an island.

They have been inbreeding for years.

Their "royalty" is even more inbred than the general population.

Do I need to continue?

Posted by: shibumi who is exceptionally cynical today at April 10, 2014 11:08 AM (25HWz)

154 Beans on toast. S/be Beans in the toasted.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 10, 2014 11:08 AM (IXrOn)

155 If beans are problem, kale poses an even greater threat to our environment. This factoid should cause all eco-hipsters' heads to explode.

Posted by: LASue at April 10, 2014 11:08 AM (S/lBi)

156 Topic relevant: http://youtu.be/lbT-j_GUpOc

Posted by: Country Singer at April 10, 2014 11:09 AM (L8r/r)

157 A fart by any other name would smell as sweet.

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 10, 2014 11:09 AM (XUKZU)

158 How about those eco-tard Brits stick some tubing up their asses connected to a tank to capture all their emissions, and then use them to power their generators!

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 03:07 PM (GQ8sn)

Better yet, since methane is so flammable, they can burn their farts to heat their hospitals instead of incinerating dead babies.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:09 AM (4df7R)

159 Pregnancy. My wife was walking death when she was carrying each of our three children. I swear that the silk flowers wilted. Posted by: physics geek at April 10, 2014 03:07 PM (MT22W) Makes sense. Have you ever watched a pregnant woman eat? Garbage disposals wouldn't take the mixtures they put down.

Posted by: jwest at April 10, 2014 11:09 AM (u2a4R)

160 OT Feel good story of the day: Nigerian child bride forced into marriage poisons meal, kills groom and 3 others http://tinyurl.com/n6cog92

Posted by: The Political Hat at April 10, 2014 11:09 AM (CTCNK)

161 4 The vegans are gonna have a sad when they find out protein comes from beans. Posted by: rickb223 at April 10, 2014 02:49 PM (d0Dmj) No, the vegans are just plain sad. And, I hold them responsible for Hurricane Katrina and any other weather-related event that caused loss of life and property. And I fart in their general direction.

Posted by: tcn at April 10, 2014 11:09 AM (3kDQa)

162 tastes like crap and well. the unmentionable thing happens.

And moobs.

The real point, of course, is that they want us all to starve to death. Can't eat animals for protein because "unsustainable" and global warmening; can't eat plants for protein because global warmening; can't eat fish for protein because "save teh oceans"; can't eat insects for protein because what will the birds eat.....

Posted by: HR at April 10, 2014 11:09 AM (ZKzrr)

163 Who names their kid Viscount? I have a friend who named their kid Marquis.

Posted by: no good deed at April 10, 2014 11:09 AM (ILBCY)

164 I'm reading these comments and it's like I don't even know Beth.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 11:10 AM (da5Wo)

165 Remember my prediction, obama will granted a knighthood before he leaves office. (If necessary, they'll grant him an honorary citizenship or whatever).

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 11:10 AM (O96tM)

166 Vegans and vegetarians have sharply higher rates of mental illness than carnivores. True fact. Possible that crazies seek out weird, unnatural diets. Possible the weird, unnatural diets cause increased mental problems.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 11:10 AM (ZPrif)

167 I don't have beans with breakfast often, but there's nothing like it on a cold day in the middle of winter! Beans, eggs, toast, some fried ham or pancakes...

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 03:08 PM (4df7R)

Or both and then you could add maple syrup...

Posted by: Mega at April 10, 2014 11:10 AM (hHFOx)

168 American version of Beans on Toast. Huevos Rancheros. Yum.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 10, 2014 11:10 AM (IXrOn)

169 oh, his knighthood will be for his 'work' on ~~global warming~~ ~~climate change~~ climate shift.

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 11:11 AM (O96tM)

170 ... Okay, this might just be a me thing, but that's not normal American breakfast fare? I am dead serious. What about with eggs? Don't people eat eggs, beans and toast at breakfast? Sometimes I'm not sure what I know of life comes from my mom being British. *whine* Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 02:58 PM (4df7R) No, that is not normal American breakfast fare. I mean, sure, eggs and bacon and sausage and pancakes and hashbrowns and fuck me I have to go to Denny's for dinner now. But beans on toast? Not so much. Om nom nom bangers and mash om nom nom

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 11:11 AM (mf5HN)

171 OT Feel good story of the day:

Nigerian child bride forced into marriage poisons meal, kills groom and 3 others

http://tinyurl.com/n6cog92

Posted by: The Political Hat at April 10, 2014 03:09 PM (CTCNK)

AWESOME.

I'll be more than happy to pony up some money for a lawyer for her.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:11 AM (4df7R)

172 How about they eat termites instead? How much methane do they produce anyway?

Posted by: no good deed at April 10, 2014 11:11 AM (ILBCY)

173 141 So did any of you all or your kids grow up eating beanie weenies?

Same theory. Cheap protein.

Posted by: Nip Sip at April 10, 2014 03:06 PM (0FSuD)

Loved beanie weenies. Of course my older sisters had to ruin it for me by describing it in a way you would expect your stooooopid older sisters to describe it.

Posted by: joncelli at April 10, 2014 11:11 AM (RD7QR)

174 Eureka! I've got it. Methane absorbent underwear. At the end of every day, you take them off, throw them in your gas tank, and they power your vehicle for a day. Don't tell anybody, ok. I don't have a patent on this yet.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 10, 2014 11:11 AM (BZAd3)

175

I'm going to invent a device that captures the farts of people in cars and sends it the the engine. Brown energy.

Now just stick this rod up your ass while you're in your Prius, Lord Smellypants...

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at April 10, 2014 11:12 AM (SO2Q8)

176

So did any of you all or your kids grow up eating beanie weenies?

Same theory. Cheap protein.

Posted by: Nip Sip at April 10, 2014 03:06 PM (0FSuD)

----

I ate it once. Stayed down about 15 minutes.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at April 10, 2014 11:12 AM (T0MgD)

177 Posted by: HR at April 10, 2014 03:09 PM (ZKzrr) Heh, actually a small town around here was doing "Chocolate covered Cicada ice cream" a while back and the health department pulled the plug. So not far off.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 10, 2014 11:12 AM (HDwDg)

178 This is good. Refutes the lie that the parties switched. Noah Rothman ‏@NoahCRothman MSNBC'ers say 1964 Civil Rights Act is when South started going red. Which is why Reagan's coalition looked like this pic.twitter.com/dJP7ovxUmE

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 11:12 AM (ZPrif)

179 Now just stick this rod up your ass while you're in your Prius, Lord Smellypants...

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at April 10, 2014 03:12 PM (SO2Q

It'll be all the rage in the Castro District.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 10, 2014 11:12 AM (DrWcr)

180 A proper English breakfast has eggs and bacon, baked beans, blood sausage, fried tomato, mushrooms and sometimes some hash browns. With toast and ~~tea~~ a big fookin' glass of porter, of course. FIFY Years ago I ate an English breakfast at a pub in the slaughter house district of London. And those slaughter house guys downed their breakfast with porter. Therefore, so did I. Wonderful breakfast, even the blood sausage was larrupin'. And with the dang glass of porter so filling didn't need to eat lunch or dinner. Ahem. FIFM I'll be in the barrel.

Posted by: naturalfake at April 10, 2014 11:12 AM (0cMkb)

181 Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 10, 2014 03:11 PM (BZAd3) Public disclosure, you lose

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 10, 2014 11:13 AM (HDwDg)

182 OT: Sen. Angus King (I-Maine), who caucuses with the Democrats, will decide after the midterm elections whether to switch sides and join the Republicans. http://tinyurl.com/lutuahj

Posted by: The Political Hat at April 10, 2014 11:13 AM (CTCNK)

183 166 I'm reading these comments and it's like I don't even know Beth.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 03:10 PM (da5Wo)

Hey, it's not Beth's fault y'all are a bunch of heathens who don't know the beauty of beans for breakfast.

No, that is not normal American breakfast fare. I mean, sure, eggs and bacon and sausage and pancakes and hashbrowns and fuck me I have to go to Denny's for dinner now. But beans on toast? Not so much.

I"m learning so much today...

Next y'all are going to tell me that there isn't really a Santa Claus!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:13 AM (4df7R)

184
Vegetarians/vegans fart more than omnivores.
So I guess everybody should stop eating.

Posted by: YIKES! at April 10, 2014 11:13 AM (mETGQ)

185 Don't worry, MWR. I grew up eating smoked boudin with Stein's cane syrup on crackers for breakfast. We all have our childhood anomalies.

Posted by: no good deed at April 10, 2014 11:13 AM (ILBCY)

186 167 Remember my prediction, obama will granted a knighthood before he leaves office. (If necessary, they'll grant him an honorary citizenship or whatever). Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 03:10 PM (O96tM) ********** King of Fartopia

Posted by: M-16 British Bean Nazi at April 10, 2014 11:13 AM (RJMhd)

187 Next y'all are going to tell me that there isn't really a Santa Claus!

Are you sitting down?

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 11:13 AM (GQ8sn)

188 Weenies? My sister told me they were just ground up lips and assholes. I haven't eaten a hot dog in years.

Posted by: tcn at April 10, 2014 11:14 AM (3kDQa)

189
BTW

Arms of David Simon, 3rd Viscount Simon

Coronet
A Coronet of a Viscount

Crest
Upon a Well proper an Eagle rising Or

Escutcheon
Gules three Lotus Flowers in pale proper between two Flaunches Or each charged with a Lion rampant of the field

Supporters
Dexter: a Guillemot; Sinister: a Monal proper

Motto
J'Ai Ainsi Mon Nom (Such is my name)

That's two Flaunches, you bloody peasant Levelers. Not one -- TWO.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at April 10, 2014 11:14 AM (kdS6q)

190 can't eat plants for protein because global warmening; can't eat fish for protein because "save teh oceans"; can't eat insects for protein because what will the birds eat..... Posted by: HR at April 10, 2014 03:09 PM (ZKzrr) well Heather WE can't eat those things, of course Their lives will be a buffet every day. We already see this with the warming heads, their homes, their lifestyles, their using more energy than a city block of regular folks.

Posted by: willow at April 10, 2014 11:14 AM (nqBYe)

191 Hey, it's not Beth's fault y'all are a bunch of heathens who don't know the beauty of beans for breakfast. Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 03:13 PM (4df7R) *looks at the state of British dental health* I'm going with our diet.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 11:14 AM (da5Wo)

192 Eureka! I've got it. Methane absorbent underwear. At the end of every day, you take them off, throw them in your gas tank, and they power your vehicle for a day. Don't tell anybody, ok. I don't have a patent on this yet. - I'm selling offsets. You pay me $100 a month, I'll not mow the lawn so there will be long grass, and you can fart as much as you want.

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 10, 2014 11:14 AM (XUKZU)

193 They have been inbreeding for years. Their "royalty" is even more inbred than the general population. Do I need to continue? Posted by: shibumi Barrelless Verma is an imported numpty so it's going to have to be a long explanation.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at April 10, 2014 11:14 AM (m58Tu)

194

Their "royalty" is even more inbred than the general population.

Do I need to continue?

---

yes please

Posted by: Zombie Joffrey Lannister at April 10, 2014 11:14 AM (SO2Q8)

195 Cow farts have vastly more methane than human farts, because they're ruminants, fermenting cellulose in their multiple stomachs. The smelly portion of farts is hydrogen sulfide. Methane has no odor.

Posted by: Original Roy at April 10, 2014 11:15 AM (Dg1cR)

196 So did any of you all or your kids grow up eating beanie weenies? Same theory. Cheap protein. Posted by: Nip Sip at April 10, 2014 03:06 PM (0FSuD) I always tell young boy that weenies are a great source of protein...

Posted by: Harry Reid at April 10, 2014 11:15 AM (CTCNK)

197 Vegetarian diets tend to generate farts that strip the paint off walls. How will the gaia worshippers reconcile THAT

Posted by: kbdabear at April 10, 2014 11:15 AM (aTXUx)

198 Are you sitting down?

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 03:13 PM (GQ8sn)

Noooooooooooooooooo!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:15 AM (4df7R)

199 I'm reading these comments and it's like I don't even know Beth. Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 03:10 PM (da5Wo) Maybe if you poured maple syrup on her? *bounds off all innocent*

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 11:15 AM (mf5HN)

200 I have methane ... In my ass.

Posted by: Buzzion at April 10, 2014 11:15 AM (Ybyy0)

201 Beano sales rise in the UK. Beano, the comic continues strong.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 10, 2014 11:15 AM (IXrOn)

202 But this idea that we have to "moderate" our farting to save the planet... South Park already covered the consequences of such moderation.

Posted by: talldave2 at April 10, 2014 11:16 AM (/s1LA)

203 Doesn't anybody remember "The Most Awful Family In Britain" Sketch by Monty Python? There were a couple that revolved around baked beans and this was one. http://youtu.be/LzXGhZebNOo

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at April 10, 2014 11:16 AM (pgQxn)

204 Public disclosure, you lose . Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 10, 2014 03:13 PM (HDwDg) Bastard! I knew I couldn't trust you. At least my nuclear powered skateboard concept is still safe.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 10, 2014 11:16 AM (BZAd3)

205 Sen. Angus King (I-Maine), who caucuses with the Democrats, will decide after the midterm elections whether to switch sides and join the Republicans.

http://tinyurl.com/lutuahj

Posted by: The Political Hat at April 10, 2014 03:13 PM (CTCNK)

So in other words, he's still going to be voting the same...

Posted by: Country Singer at April 10, 2014 11:16 AM (L8r/r)

206 Sen. Angus King (I-Maine), who caucuses with the Democrats, will decide after the midterm elections whether to switch sides and join the Republicans. Finally, a man of principle and conviction in Washington DC!

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 11:16 AM (O96tM)

207 Posted by: kbdabear at April 10, 2014 03:15 PM (aTXUx) I rode the train to Chicago next to a family with a "Proud Vegan" bag. I had to leave the car for a while. My wife wondered what the smell was and I said "Vegan diets aren't healthy" and she said "apparently."

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 10, 2014 11:16 AM (HDwDg)

208

Their "royalty" is even more inbred than the general population.

---

the trick is to get regularly conquered and your women raped by the invaders. Works like a charm. Actually after a while the women are raping the invaders...

FOR THE GENE POOL

Posted by: France at April 10, 2014 11:16 AM (SO2Q8)

209 Scrapple is part of the all-American breakfast. Not beans on toast.

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 10, 2014 11:16 AM (BAS5M)

210 Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 03:13 PM (4df7R) Seriously though, what do you mean by "beans"? I mean, my first thought is baked beans. Or are y'all throwing some lima beans on a piece of toast?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 11:17 AM (da5Wo)

211 Anyone want to know where Kate Upton sequesters her farts?

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at April 10, 2014 11:17 AM (SO2Q8)

212 Maybe if you poured maple syrup on her?

*bounds off all innocent*

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 03:15 PM (mf5HN)

Speaking of, the sugar shacks around here are going full bore now that spring's finally set in. I might indulge and buy some genuine NH-made maple syrup this week. It's pricey, but oh so nummy.

And no, I will not be wasting it on syrup wrestling. We can use Mrs. Butterworth for that.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:17 AM (4df7R)

213 Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 10, 2014 03:16 PM (BZAd3) Seriously though, I know they're doing methane collection at garbage dumps, is anyone working methane collection of cattle? I mean it's basically free fuel (free as in the vast majority of costs are already sunk.)

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 10, 2014 11:17 AM (HDwDg)

214 someone was saying yesterday they made several gallons of maple syrup. life Isn't fair! looks in my empty of maple syrup cup board.

Posted by: willow at April 10, 2014 11:17 AM (nqBYe)

215 Even I'm not that dumb.

Posted by: C*ntessa Brewer at April 10, 2014 11:17 AM (bAGA/)

216 Seriously though, what do you mean by "beans"? I mean, my first thought is baked beans. Or are y'all throwing some lima beans on a piece of toast?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 03:17 PM (da5Wo)

Yeah, it's the baked beans or something similar that we have here.

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 11:17 AM (GQ8sn)

217 Maybe if you poured maple syrup on her? *bounds off all innocent* Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 03:15 PM (mf5HN) *THUD*

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 11:17 AM (da5Wo)

218 The population of the United Kingdom is 63 million. One of their former colonies is largely vegetarian with twenty times the people. I won't even mention the cows. Hubris can emanate from the most surprising places.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at April 10, 2014 11:17 AM (659DL)

219 The smelly portion of farts is hydrogen sulfide. Methane has no odor. Posted by: Original Roy at April 10, 2014 03:15 PM (Dg1cR) So tell me; are cow fart degrees in high demand?

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 10, 2014 11:18 AM (BZAd3)

220 I never understood how the sur names of "Lord" and "King" came about.

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 11:18 AM (O96tM)

221

It may be a regional thing here in the US, but I've never had baked beans for breakfast.

A now defunct breakfast nook in Scituate, MA had a Hemingway breakfast: eggs, fish cakes, sausage, hash browns and beans. You folks carry on, I'll be down memory lane.

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at April 10, 2014 11:18 AM (JtwS4)

222 someone was saying yesterday they made several gallons of maple syrup.

life Isn't fair!

looks in my empty of maple syrup cup board.

Posted by: willow at April 10, 2014 03:17 PM (nqBYe)

That was Muad'dib.

He successfully transmuted the Water of Life into maple syrup.

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 11:18 AM (GQ8sn)

223

Nigerian child bride forced into marriage poisons meal, kills groom and 3 others

---

sounds like it was not a dull affair

Posted by: Kal Drogo at April 10, 2014 11:18 AM (SO2Q8)

224 Hmmm... a paradox that has vexed man for ages Hold it in and bear the pain... Or let it out and bear the shame ..

Posted by: kbdabear at April 10, 2014 11:18 AM (aTXUx)

225

Remember my prediction, obama will granted a knighthood before he leaves office.

(If necessary, they'll grant him an honorary citizenship or whatever).
Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 03:10 PM (O96tM)

I don't know about that. I don't think her Majesty was too thrilled with an unusable DVD of Obama's greatest hits.

Posted by: Cheri at April 10, 2014 11:18 AM (G+Wff)

226 Seriously though, what do you mean by "beans"? I mean, my first thought is baked beans. Or are y'all throwing some lima beans on a piece of toast?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 03:17 PM (da5Wo)

No no, baked beans. Pork and beans.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:18 AM (4df7R)

227 Noooo, willow! BANNION! For to be assisting MWR in obtaining maple syrup and then for to be sending some to willow.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 11:18 AM (mf5HN)

228 Scrapple is part of the all-American breakfast. Not beans on toast. Posted by: Count de Monet at April 10, 2014 03:16 PM (BAS5M) Funny. I ran across that in an old cookbook this morning. I was looking up pork recipes. The recipe was called Philadelphia Scrapple. Never heard of it until today. funny that

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 10, 2014 11:18 AM (IXrOn)

229

is anyone working methane collection of cattle?

I mean it's basically free fuel (free as in the vast majority of costs are already sunk.)

You need a small staff to monitor the cows and periodically reinsert the hoses in to their ass.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at April 10, 2014 11:18 AM (T0MgD)

230
This is good. Refutes the lie that the parties switched.

Noah Rothman @NoahCRothman
MSNBC'ers say 1964 Civil Rights Act is when South started going red. Which is why Reagan's coalition looked like this pic.twitter.com/dJP7ovxUmE
Posted by: Costanza Defense

Rothman is being a disingenuous fop.

He's showing a map of districts, and guess what -- lot's of heavily black districts in the South.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at April 10, 2014 11:19 AM (kdS6q)

231 Icebergs and ice sheets have lots of methane trapped in them. They have purposedly been releasing it in order to warm the planet and melt even more. They have waged war against man ever since the Titantic. They are not icebergs but evilbergs.

Posted by: Burt Toste at April 10, 2014 11:19 AM (kUpEx)

232 We should have a government policy mandating people light at least 50% of their farts on fire. That should take care of some of the methane.

Posted by: Joe Biden at April 10, 2014 11:19 AM (S+el1)

233 The late john pinnette had a joke about beans for breakfast over in England.

Posted by: Buzzion at April 10, 2014 11:19 AM (Ybyy0)

234 Speaking of, the sugar shacks around here are going full bore now that spring's finally set in. I might indulge and buy some genuine NH-made maple syrup this week. It's pricey, but oh so nummy. *does double take* Uhhh....I've always known a "sugar shack" to be similar to a "house of ill repute". And no, I will not be wasting it on syrup wrestling. We can use Mrs. Butterworth for that. Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 03:17 PM (4df7R) *DOUBLE THUD*

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 11:19 AM (da5Wo)

235 I mean it's basically free fuel (free as in the vast majority of costs are already sunk.) Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 10, 2014 03:17 PM (HDwDg) Swiss farmers have been collecting cow fart methane for decades and using it in their homes. No sarcasm - true.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 10, 2014 11:20 AM (BZAd3)

236 Methane absorbent underwear. At the end of every day, you take them off, throw them in your gas tank, and they power your vehicle for a day. Honest to Allah this already exists (sort of). There is underwear with an activated carbon pouch to filter yer farts. I don't remember where I saw it, but I saw it.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/s][/i][/b][/s] at April 10, 2014 11:20 AM (qKrH5)

237 he's Labor (the left).

So not a Tory (the left)?

Posted by: Mega at April 10, 2014 11:20 AM (hHFOx)

238 Hold it in and bear the pain...

Or let it out and ~~bear the shame~~ shift the blame ..

Posted by: kbdabear at April 10, 2014 03:18 PM (aTXUx)

"It was the dog!"

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:20 AM (4df7R)

239 Late to the party - anyone mention that Obama wants to regulate cow farts? And he wants to reduce by 25%. Please, MSM, ask him to quantify cow fart emissions today and where he came up w/the 25% number.

Posted by: Lizzy at April 10, 2014 11:20 AM (gzJJ2)

240 That was Muad'dib. He successfully transmuted the Water of Life into maple syrup. Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 03:18 PM (GQ8sn) He's my new bestest friend besides all you other guys and gals!

Posted by: willow at April 10, 2014 11:20 AM (nqBYe)

241 I don't remember where I saw it, but I saw it. You saw it here, and it's from the Japanese.

Posted by: no good deed at April 10, 2014 11:21 AM (ILBCY)

242 Late to the party - anyone mention that Obama wants to regulate cow farts?

And he wants to reduce by 25%.

He's doing a bang up job in Nevada right now.

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 11:21 AM (GQ8sn)

243 Related: Denver Public Schools administrators believe they are the first school district in the nation to actively seek out people who were initially brought to the United States illegally to now teach in the classroom.

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 10, 2014 11:21 AM (XUKZU)

244 No no, baked beans. Pork and beans. Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 03:18 PM (4df7R) *shakes head* God love ya, but you Brits are fooking weird. *adjusts kilt*

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 11:21 AM (da5Wo)

245 Scrapple is part of the all-American breakfast. Not beans on toast.
Posted by: Count de Monet at April 10, 2014 03:16 PM (BAS5M)

Dammit. Now I want some souse. On Wonderbread. With mayo and onion.

Posted by: Country Singer at April 10, 2014 11:21 AM (L8r/r)

246 230 Scrapple is part of the all-American breakfast. Not beans on toast.
Posted by: Count de Monet at April 10, 2014 03:16 PM (BAS5M)

I always thought scrapple was an exclusively southern thing until I moved to PA. Now livermush, don't think I've ever seen that outside the south.

Posted by: joncelli at April 10, 2014 11:22 AM (RD7QR)

247 BANNION! For to be assisting MWR in obtaining maple syrup and then for to be sending some to willow.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 03:18 PM (mf5HN)

*shoves syrup through USB to willow!*

Um... okay, that probably wasn't the best idea...

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:22 AM (4df7R)

248 >>>>Or are y'all throwing some lima beans on a piece of toast?<<<<<<

Lima beans, butter beans, and pinto beans are all meant to be served over cornbread.

Posted by: the guy that moves pianos for a living... at April 10, 2014 11:22 AM (5REbo)

249 Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 10, 2014 03:20 PM (BZAd3) I figured we here in cattle country would be more on the ball about that. Then again, cattle spend a lot of time on the range, so it may not be that easy.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 10, 2014 11:22 AM (HDwDg)

250 The Who's "Tommy" baked beans scene. Ick.

Posted by: Lizzy at April 10, 2014 11:22 AM (gzJJ2)

251 Does this bring us back to the box of Chicken Farts that Ace brought up the other day?

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at April 10, 2014 11:22 AM (pgQxn)

252 Thanks to all who commented. Went to google images of 'English Breakfast'. One can get an education off this often smart sometimes military blog. You can learn things here.

Posted by: Smith the Curious at April 10, 2014 11:22 AM (Vz2xO)

253 Icebergs and ice sheets have lots of methane trapped in them. They have purposedly been releasing it in order to warm the planet and melt even more. They have waged war against man ever since the Titantic. They are not icebergs but evilbergs.

Posted by: Burt Toste at April 10, 2014 03:19 PM (kUpEx)

That's allot of whale farts.

Posted by: YIKES! at April 10, 2014 11:22 AM (mETGQ)

254 227 Remember my prediction, obama will granted a knighthood before he leaves office. (If necessary, they'll grant him an honorary citizenship or whatever). Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 03:10 PM (O96tM) I don't know about that. I don't think her Majesty was too thrilled with an unusable DVD of Obama's greatest hits. Posted by: Cheri at April 10, 2014 03:18 PM (G+Wff) You're mixing your gifts. He gave the prime minister unusable DVDs. He gave the queen an iPod full of his speeches.

Posted by: Buzzion at April 10, 2014 11:22 AM (Ybyy0)

255

And no, I will not be wasting it on syrup wrestling. We can use Mrs. Butterworth for that.

Oh noe you did-ent! [headshake]

Posted by: Aunt Jemima at April 10, 2014 11:23 AM (BAS5M)

256
*shakes head*

God love ya, but you Brits are fooking weird.

*adjusts kilt*

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 03:21 PM (da5Wo)

...Now I want shortbread.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:23 AM (4df7R)

257 Well, this stinks: The Obama administration has been waging a secret media war in capitals across two continents blaming Israel for the recent collapse of peace talks with the Palestinians, according to former Israeli diplomats and Washington, D.C. insiders familiar with the peace process. Multiple sources told the Washington Free Beacon that top Obama administration officials have worked for the past several days to manufacture a crisis over the reissuing of housing permits in a Jerusalem neighborhood widely acknowledged as Israeli territory. Senior State Department officials based in Israel have sought to lay the groundwork forIsrael to take the blame for talks collapsing by peddling a narrative to the Israeli press claiming that the Palestinians were outraged over Israeli settlements, the Free Beacon has learned. These administration officials have planted several stories in Israeli and U.S. newspapers blaming Israel for the collapse of peace talks and have additionally provided reporters with anonymous quotes slamming the Israeli government.

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 10, 2014 11:23 AM (XUKZU)

258 You need a small staff to monitor the cows and periodically reinsert the hoses in to their ass. Posted by: Vashta Nerada at April 10, 2014 03:18 PM (T0MgD) \ Doing the jobs that people here just won't do....

Posted by: tcn at April 10, 2014 11:23 AM (3kDQa)

259 Obligatory Blazing Saddles clip https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6dm9rN6oTs

Posted by: kbdabear at April 10, 2014 11:23 AM (aTXUx)

260 You're mixing your gifts. He gave the prime minister unusable DVDs. He gave the queen an iPod full of his speeches. So classless.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 10, 2014 11:23 AM (d0Dmj)

261 feels a splat on my face. licks off syrup. thanks MWR.

Posted by: willow at April 10, 2014 11:24 AM (nqBYe)

262 Oh noe you did-ent! [headshake]

Posted by: Aunt Jemima at April 10, 2014 03:23 PM (BAS5M)

I hold you in higher esteem than that, Aunt Jemima!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:24 AM (4df7R)

263 If you are going to worry about methane, may I suggest....

Posted by: Methane Hydrates On The Sea Floor at April 10, 2014 11:24 AM (sOtz/)

264

Such a debate, in the House of Lords, underscores the death of a race.

If it weren't for nukes, they'd have been done long ago.

Posted by: prescient11 at April 10, 2014 11:24 AM (tVTLU)

265 Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 03:21 PM (da5Wo) Says the crazies who invented golf! :picks up shillelagh: :and beer stein: (What? I'm an American mutt.)

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 10, 2014 11:24 AM (HDwDg)

266 "frijoles negros " I am rather offended that you would use a term like "negroes" to refer to the color of your breakfast beans. In the future please show more consideration of an ethnic group by referring to your beans as "black" instead of "negro". In addition, please lower your gas emissions by curtailing your use of said beans immediately. Gaia thanks you.

Posted by: Viscount Liemon at April 10, 2014 11:24 AM (XyM/Y)

267 My ideal breakfast:

Scrambled eggs, sourdough toast with butter, yellow corn grits, bacon, and hash browns (shredded not patties).

And coffee. Black.

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 11:24 AM (GQ8sn)

268 Were they wearing the powdered wigs?

Posted by: Retard Strength Trumps Smart Power at April 10, 2014 11:24 AM (27KAF)

269 Verma's one of the crackpot mouthpieces ennobled by Labor. I'm sure the noble Lord's remark about baked beans was a jibe.

Posted by: JEM at April 10, 2014 11:24 AM (o+SC1)

270 First Lords and Ladies, to quote Mel Gibson...

Then you shall shut yon pie-holes and save the Earth from your noxious CO2 emissions.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 10, 2014 11:24 AM (b7rtK)

271 252 The Who's "Tommy" baked beans scene. Ick. Posted by: Lizzy at April 10, 2014 03:22 PM (gzJJ2) Think Blazing Saddles instead.

Posted by: tcn at April 10, 2014 11:24 AM (3kDQa)

272 I always thought scrapple was an exclusively southern thing until I moved to PA. Now livermush, don't think I've ever seen that outside the south. Posted by: joncelli at April 10, 2014 03:22 PM (RD7QR) My (NYTimes cookbook) says Scrapple is a Pennsylvania Dutch specialty. Made of pork trimmings of "whatever nature." This recipe has pig's knuckles, pork and chicken livers. Basically some sage, red pepper and cornmeal. Probably healthy, but I'll pass. Going with Moo Shu Pork tonight.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 10, 2014 11:25 AM (IXrOn)

273 These administration officials have planted several stories in Israeli and U.S. newspapers blaming Israel for the collapse of peace talks and have additionally provided reporters with anonymous quotes slamming the Israeli government. Posted by: WalrusRex at April 10, 2014 03:23 PM (XUKZU) Walrus, G-d help me I hate these people. . hate.them.

Posted by: willow at April 10, 2014 11:25 AM (nqBYe)

274 252 The Who's "Tommy" baked beans scene. Ick. Now that you mention it - the cover of The Who Sell Out with the picture of Roger in the pile of baked beans with the giant can...

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at April 10, 2014 11:25 AM (pgQxn)

275 I'll admit I've done my share to contribute to gorebull warming, but after this last winter, I don't think I've done enough.

Posted by: LFW - Honorary Pointy Eared Vulcan at April 10, 2014 11:25 AM (V40IZ)

276 ...Now I want shortbread. Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 03:23 PM (4df7R) *blinks* I think I was just insulted.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 11:25 AM (da5Wo)

277 My ideal breakfast: Scrambled eggs, sourdough ~~toast~~ biscuits, cat head size, with butter, yellow corn grits, bacon, and hash browns (shredded not patties). And coffee. Black.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 10, 2014 11:26 AM (d0Dmj)

278 The Obama administration has been waging a secret media war in capitals across two continents blaming Israel for the recent collapse of peace talks with the Palestinians, according to former Israeli diplomats and Washington, D.C. insiders familiar with the peace process.

Like there was ever any doubt?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:26 AM (4df7R)

279 Good Lord, man! What's next, a government crack-down on Sharting?!?!

Posted by: Sharkman at April 10, 2014 11:26 AM (zJe//)

280 Why the hell won't Denny's and/or IHOP deliver to my work? Why? NO ONE HAS SUFFERED AS I SUFFER NOW!

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 11:26 AM (mf5HN)

281 This is good. Refutes the lie that the parties switched. Noah Rothman Ã¾@NoahCRothman MSNBC'ers say 1964 Civil Rights Act is when South started going red. Which is why Reagan's coalition looked like this pic.twitter.com/dJP7ovxUmE - Jimmy cracker says: When asked why white male Southerners have turned to the GOP, Carter said: Â“ItÂ’s race. ThatÂ’s been prevalent in the South Â… . Ever since Nixon ran Â— and ever since Johnson didnÂ’t campaign in the deep South, the Republicans have solidified their hold there.Â” Republican proposals, such as cutting food stamps and assuming the guilt of minorities and the mentally ill who are in jail, appeal to the rich, he said. Â“Those kind of things just exalt the higher class, which is the whites, and they draw a subtle, but very effective racial line throughout the South,Â” Carter said.

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 10, 2014 11:27 AM (XUKZU)

282 Scrapple is part of the all-American breakfast. Posted by: Count de Monet at April 10, 2014 03:16 PM (BAS5M) Isn't that a board game? *ducks and hides*

Posted by: The Political Hat at April 10, 2014 11:27 AM (CTCNK)

283 Such a debate, in the House of Lords, underscores the death of a race.

If it weren't for nukes, they'd have been done long ago.

Posted by: prescient11 at April 10, 2014 03:24 PM (tVTLU)

They remind of the worthless middle management types that were marooned on the primitive earth in the hitchhiker's guide series.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at April 10, 2014 11:27 AM (FMbng)

284 So. They came for the Olestra, and not a sound was heard. Now, they've come for the beans. Will no one at least make noise? Next, they will come for the curry.

Posted by: Jean-Pierre Folderol, Member, The League of Ugly Shirted Gentlemen at April 10, 2014 11:27 AM (FlRtG)

285 You're mixing your gifts. He gave the prime minister unusable DVDs. He gave the queen an iPod full of his speeches.

Posted by: Buzzion

Oh right I forgot. He gives such shitty gifts its hard to keep 'em straight. Wait, the Pope got seeds supposedly from the WH garden if I remember. What a tool.

Posted by: Cheri at April 10, 2014 11:27 AM (G+Wff)

286 Funny I had read a long time ago about collecting methane from ice sheets and went to look it up after my sarcastic comment. Yep the climate change guys repeat what I said but sadly are not joking.

Posted by: Burt Toste at April 10, 2014 11:28 AM (kUpEx)

287 *blinks*

I think I was just insulted.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 03:25 PM (da5Wo)

I'm hungry! I can't help it if the first place my mind goes when i'm hungry and think of scotland is shortbread.

At least i didn't say haggis?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:28 AM (4df7R)

288 What is the velocity of your farts Baroness? With beans or without noble sir? Yahhhhhhhhhiii! We will not entertain discussion on the velocity of queefs.

Posted by: Fewenuff at April 10, 2014 11:28 AM (wDwaq)

289 If it weren't for nukes, they'd have been done long ago.

Are we sure they still have them?

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 11:28 AM (GQ8sn)

290 Next, they will come for the curry.

Posted by: Jean-Pierre Folderol, Member, The League of Ugly Shirted Gentlemen at April 10, 2014 03:27 PM (FlRtG)

That I can get behind. Nobody needs to shit liquid fire.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 10, 2014 11:28 AM (DrWcr)

291 The word from the Downing Street is that the Royals "flavor" their emissions with lilac and hibiscus.

Posted by: Fritz at April 10, 2014 11:28 AM (UzPAd)

292 delurking just long enough to say - Shrimp and grits!! nom nom nom

Posted by: traumakitty at April 10, 2014 11:28 AM (qbhII)

293 American companies were looking at this in the 70s: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6ZAktYiumc The corporate slogan at the end rocks. (From Kentucky Fried Movie, you should click)

Posted by: Weirddave at April 10, 2014 11:29 AM (N/cFh)

294

You need a small staff to monitor the cows and periodically reinsert the hoses in to their ass.

small staff . . . reinsert hoses . . . ass

we're dying here hehehehehehehehehe

Posted by: Beavis and Butthead at April 10, 2014 11:29 AM (BAS5M)

295 I'm hungry! I can't help it if the first place my mind goes when i'm hungry and think of scotland is shortbread.
At least i didn't say haggis?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 03:28 PM (4df7R)

Just don't ask BC to show you his Scotch eggs...

Posted by: Insomniac at April 10, 2014 11:29 AM (DrWcr)

296 Actually, even our entire country is run by Golgafrincham "B" ark types.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at April 10, 2014 11:29 AM (FMbng)

297 You need a small staff to monitor the cows and periodically reinsert the hoses in to their ass. (assuming 'staff' means people, not a pole on which a flag is hung) so where does the hose go? into the cow's ass or the staff's asses?

Posted by: Smith the Curious at April 10, 2014 11:29 AM (Vz2xO)

298 I always thought the "All-American breakfast" was cold pizza.

Posted by: HR at April 10, 2014 11:29 AM (ZKzrr)

299 These administration officials have planted several stories in Israeli and U.S. newspapers blaming Israel for the collapse of peace talks and have additionally provided reporters with anonymous quotes slamming the Israeli government. Posted by: WalrusRex at April 10, 2014 03:23 PM (XUKZU) Un-friggen-believable. I wouldn't be suprised to see Obama issue another EO reviving the Wilson administration's Committee on Public Information.

Posted by: Mainah at April 10, 2014 11:29 AM (659DL)

300 I'm hungry! I can't help it if the first place my mind goes when i'm hungry and think of scotland is shortbread.
At least i didn't say haggis?

Not Scotish. Irish.

And you're bonnie lass!!!!

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 11:29 AM (GQ8sn)

301 Omgoodness Ihop? Bannion, er would you please' dear one' (talks nice knowing i'm not the boss of you), find Ihop and send it to alex quickly. as we know we do not want happy , happy fun alex to get upset. holds large glass of something for your effort

Posted by: willow at April 10, 2014 11:29 AM (nqBYe)

302 300 I always thought the "All-American breakfast" was cold pizza.

Posted by: HR at April 10, 2014 03:29 PM (ZKzrr)

Wheaties.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 10, 2014 11:30 AM (DrWcr)

303 delurking just long enough to say - Shrimp and grits!! nom nom nom

Posted by: traumakitty at April 10, 2014 03:28 PM (qbhII)

Yes! I'm supposed to be in Charleston for a conference in June...and that's what I'm looking forward to.

Posted by: Country Singer at April 10, 2014 11:30 AM (L8r/r)

304 269 My ideal breakfast: Scrambled eggs, sourdough toast with butter, yellow corn grits, ~~bacon~~Country Ham, red eye gravy, sliced tomatoes, and hash browns (shredded not patties). And coffee. Black with kalhula Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 03:24 PM (GQ8sn) FIFY

Posted by: Nip Sip at April 10, 2014 11:30 AM (0FSuD)

305 153 In some what whacky inversion, when I was in Honduras, Eggs, beans and toast was dinner. (There may not have been toast, I don't' remember.) Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 10, 2014 03:08 PM (HDwDg) --------------------- That is true where I'm from too (Panama.) Eggs are served at lunch or dinner, not breakfast, usually with rice, perhaps bacon. Same thing in Cuba, where my mother grew up. Eggs (with beans or mofongo) are for dinner. I've been in the US for decades now but still NEVER cook, much less eat, eggs for breakfast. I do love a good American breakfast of eggs, bacon, grits, bacon, toast, bacon, jam, bacon, etc. But.... it's what's for DINNER!!!

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at April 10, 2014 11:30 AM (dfYL9)

306 Based on these arguments, is it too far a stretch for liberals to commit mass suicide... for the planet and all. please.

Posted by: nuke it from orbit at April 10, 2014 11:30 AM (y17gV)

307 300 I always thought the "All-American breakfast" was cold pizza.

Posted by: HR at April 10, 2014 03:29 PM (ZKzrr)

One of my older sisters (not the one who told me that beanie weenies were severed penises in bile) used to eat cold pizza and chocolate cake for breakfast all the time. Baffled the hell out of my poor Dad.

Posted by: joncelli at April 10, 2014 11:31 AM (RD7QR)

308 This is why he is the best speechifyer ever: President Obama: "We are here today because we know we cannot be complacent. History travels not only forwards, but backwards and sideways."

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 10, 2014 11:31 AM (XUKZU)

309 Yes! I'm supposed to be in Charleston for a conference in June...and that's what I'm looking forward to.

Poogan's Porch off Meeting St.

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 11:31 AM (GQ8sn)

310 Why the hell won't Denny's and/or IHOP deliver to my work? Why?

NO ONE HAS SUFFERED AS I SUFFER NOW!

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 03:26 PM (mf5HN)

This probably won't help, but maybe in a vicarious way?

http://bit.ly/1lNCuRc

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:31 AM (4df7R)

311 So tell me; are cow fart degrees in high demand? Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 10, 2014 03:18 PM (BZAd3) They have a shortage in the House of Lords, I hear.

Posted by: Original Roy at April 10, 2014 11:31 AM (Dg1cR)

312 Says the crazies who invented golf! :picks up shillelagh: :and beer stein: (What? I'm an American mutt.) Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 10, 2014 03:24 PM (HDwDg) Holes on a golf course? 18 Shots in a bottle of booze? Just over 17. You're welcome.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 11:31 AM (da5Wo)

313 Dow down 258
NASDAQ down 130

Posted by: Jethro Bodine at April 10, 2014 11:32 AM (e8kgV)

314 I can recommend chocolate cake for breakfast.

Posted by: HR at April 10, 2014 11:32 AM (ZKzrr)

315
True story! Vietnam flight crews used the familiar fart call to avoid paying the penalty of buying the bar in the evening.

Upon emitting a gaseous eruption, the proper call was to trigger intercom, and use the clear text terminology "fart" to avoid penalty. The proper response to a fart call was to "roger the fart." No penalty incurred, carry on!

Posted by: Doctor Fish at April 10, 2014 11:33 AM (nQjHM)

316 Poogan's Porch off Meeting St.

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 03:31 PM (GQ8sn)

Noted!

Posted by: Country Singer at April 10, 2014 11:33 AM (L8r/r)

317 >216 someone was saying yesterday they made several gallons of maple syrup.

life Isn't fair!

looks in my empty of maple syrup cup board.

Posted by: willow at April 10, 2014 03:17 PM (nqBYe)<

That was me Willow. Here you go. **stuffs a quart of light amber syrup through USB**

If you like that, try my bacon infused variant.

Posted by: Muad'dib at April 10, 2014 11:33 AM (sjdRT)

318 Dow down 258
NASDAQ down 130

Posted by: Jethro Bodine at April 10, 2014 03:32 PM (e8kgV)

"Carney, ask Yellin if we can go to 105% on the printing presses."

"Yellin says 105% possible, but not recommended."

*thoughtful drag on cigarette* "Tell Yellin to go to 105% on the presses."

"What is it, Mr. President? What are we doing?"

"We're going to kill the economy, my friend."

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 11:33 AM (GQ8sn)

319 292 Insomniac "That I can get behind. Nobody needs to shit liquid fire. Your pardon Sir. Might I recommend "supporting from a distance" in preference to "get[ting] behind"?

Posted by: Jean-Pierre Folderol, Member, The League of Ugly Shirted Gentlemen at April 10, 2014 11:33 AM (FlRtG)

320 I'm hungry! I can't help it if the first place my mind goes when i'm hungry and think of scotland is shortbread. At least i didn't say haggis? Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 03:28 PM (4df7R) Scottish? SCOTTISH???????????

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 11:33 AM (da5Wo)

321

At least i didn't say haggis?

----

Haggis...mmmmmmmm!

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at April 10, 2014 11:34 AM (T0MgD)

322 I .... for one.... am relieved to know we slaughtered millions of bison 150 years ago.... for the planet.... and the children.

Posted by: fixerupper at April 10, 2014 11:34 AM (nELVU)

323 One of my mother's friends told me that she became a vegetarian because of cow farts. She told me this at my grandmother's wake, so what could I say? "You're a fucking idiot" didn't quite seem appropriate. Also inappropriate? Crooning about your "morally superior" eating habits at someone's wake.

Posted by: Lauren at April 10, 2014 11:34 AM (hFL/3)

324 Dow down 258
NASDAQ down 130

Posted by: Jethro Bodine at April 10, 2014 03:32 PM (e8kgV)

This reminds me, anyone want to clue me in to why gas prices jumped twenty cents in a day between Tuesday and Wednesday this week? The gas station across from my work went from $3.38 on Tuesday to $3.56 Wednesday. I was not a happy camper.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:34 AM (4df7R)

325 Are you sitting down? Liar!

Posted by: the tooth fairy at April 10, 2014 11:34 AM (QupBk)

326 One of the finest creations ever to come out of my kitchen, a 6 layer quesadilla, spam, spam, spam, eggs, bacon, and spam.

Posted by: SpongeBobSaget at April 10, 2014 11:34 AM (L02KD)

327 O/T- On the radio the other day Tucker Carlson was joking how the Daily Caller was going to open a LGBT club. Ladies, Guns, Beer, and Tobacco. heh!

Posted by: Mainah at April 10, 2014 11:34 AM (659DL)

328 Scottish? SCOTTISH???????????

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 03:33 PM (da5Wo)

*cues up "All Things Scottish" skit from SNL*

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 11:35 AM (GQ8sn)

329

My favorite breakfast:

A large Bloody Mary served in a mason jar with olives, onions, asparagus and other assorted veggies.

Then back to bed.

Posted by: Cheri at April 10, 2014 11:35 AM (G+Wff)

330
Scottish? SCOTTISH???????????

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 03:33 PM (da5Wo)

You said kilt!

*hangs head in shame* Okaaaaaaay. This silly Brit/American mutt begs your forgiveness. *puppy dog eyes of woe*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:35 AM (4df7R)

331 One of my mother's friends told me that she became a vegetarian because of cow farts.

We've had this discussion at my work. If you don't kill the cow, it keeps on farting. For years.

Posted by: HR at April 10, 2014 11:35 AM (ZKzrr)

332 >>But this idea that we have to "moderate" our farting to save the planet... Twelve-year-olds everywhere hardest hit.

Posted by: Y-not at April 10, 2014 11:35 AM (zDsvJ)

333 A world run by telephone sanitizers... just look at Gaylord and Slo Joe Bidet.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 10, 2014 11:35 AM (b7rtK)

334 feels a splat on my face. licks off syrup. thanks MWR. Posted by: willow at April 10, 2014 03:24 PM (nqBYe) Please continue.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 10, 2014 11:35 AM (TIIx5)

335 This reminds me, anyone want to clue me in to why gas prices jumped twenty cents in a day between Tuesday and Wednesday this week? The gas station across from my work went from $3.38 on Tuesday to $3.56 Wednesday. I was not a happy camper.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 03:34 PM (4df7R)

Oil is priced in US dollars.

We're printing like there's no tomorrow. Do the math.

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 11:36 AM (GQ8sn)

336 This reminds me, anyone want to clue me in to why gas prices jumped twenty cents in a day between Tuesday and Wednesday this week? The gas station across from my work went from $3.38 on Tuesday to $3.56 Wednesday. I was not a happy camper. Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 03:34 PM (4df7R) ---- Because they can.... summer blends.... and refinery maintenance. But mostly because they can.

Posted by: fixerupper at April 10, 2014 11:36 AM (nELVU)

337 A world run by telephone sanitizers... just look at Gaylord and Slo Joe Bidet.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 10, 2014 03:35 PM (b7rtK)

*SHUDDER * The Golgafrinchans made flesh.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:36 AM (4df7R)

338 "President Obama: 'We are here today because we know we cannot be complacent. History travels not only forwards, but backwards and sideways.'"

Just add "up" and "down", and it's the _Star Trek_ turbolift theory of history.

Posted by: torquewrench at April 10, 2014 11:36 AM (noWW6)

339 i can think of a whole lot of people that could help the fight on global warming, simply by reducing their personal CO2 emissions to zero....

Posted by: redc1c4 at April 10, 2014 11:36 AM (q+fqH)

340 You said kilt! *hangs head in shame* Okaaaaaaay. This silly Brit/American mutt begs your forgiveness. *puppy dog eyes of woe* Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 03:35 PM (4df7R) *hands over bikini* *points at trampoline* You know how to make amends.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 11:36 AM (da5Wo)

341
All this gas flying about and the goverment hasn't issued any guideline to the people on which way to aim your back side.
I mean is it north, south, west, east, up, down or sideways?

Posted by: Lord Baboonbutt Meatpuppet La Bobo, Ministry of Silly Walks at April 10, 2014 11:36 AM (mETGQ)

342 I don't know how ace posted this without a link to The Farting Contest of Lord Windesmear and Paul Boomer. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPplyQWf-u4

Posted by: no good deed at April 10, 2014 11:36 AM (ILBCY)

343 Baroness Verma, if you bring up this nonsense again, I shall taunt you. And fart in your general direction.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie © at April 10, 2014 11:36 AM (1hM1d)

344

Well you know, when you eat a whole can of beans, it's hard to tell which one made you fart.

Posted by: Welfare Queen at April 10, 2014 11:37 AM (1Rgee)

345 President Obama: "We are here today because we know we cannot be complacent. History travels not only forwards, but backwards and sideways." And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!

Posted by: Kodos at April 10, 2014 11:37 AM (QupBk)

346 One of the finest creations ever to come out of my kitchen, a 6 layer quesadilla, spam, spam, spam, eggs, bacon, and spam. The Python boys just filed for a cease and desist.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at April 10, 2014 11:37 AM (659DL)

347 Because they can.... summer blends.... and refinery maintenance.

But mostly because they can.

Posted by: fixerupper at April 10, 2014 03:36 PM (nELVU)

I know THAT. Just usually they try to space it out a bit. Three cents every other day or so. Not twenty cents overnight!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:37 AM (4df7R)

348 Ladies, Guns, Beer, and Tobacco. heh! Posted by: Mainah at April 10, 2014 03:34 PM (659DL) --- ... Im stealing that...

Posted by: fixerupper at April 10, 2014 11:37 AM (nELVU)

349

This reminds me, anyone want to clue me in to why gas prices jumped twenty cents in a day between Tuesday and Wednesday this week?

Summer blend

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at April 10, 2014 11:38 AM (T0MgD)

350 I remember Chaucer referring to people "making vile musick at both ends". I guess Chaucer would have been a greenie, eh?

Posted by: Bob at April 10, 2014 11:38 AM (xkSSa)

351
*hands over bikini*

*points at trampoline*

You know how to make amends.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 03:36 PM (da5Wo)

You do NOT want me jumping on a trampoline in a bikini. It would be traumatic for everyone involved. But I will wear one of my tighter shirts. *nod*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:38 AM (4df7R)

352 "And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!" Hahahaha. My exact thoughts too.

Posted by: Lauren at April 10, 2014 11:38 AM (hFL/3)

353 We've got to keep our phoney baloney jobs!

Posted by: William J. Le Petomane at April 10, 2014 11:39 AM (Wwj9z)

354 Yes! I'm supposed to be in Charleston for a conference in June...and that's what I'm looking forward to.

Posted by: Country Singer at April 10, 2014 03:30 PM (L8r/r)

Nothing like New Orleans Shrimp and grits

Posted by: traumakitty at April 10, 2014 11:39 AM (qbhII)

355 President Obama: "We are here today because we know we cannot be complacent. History travels not only forwards, but backwards and sideways."

Like I mentioned on the last thread, if history goes BACKWARD then if we all think about it REALLY REALLY hard we might be able to make it so that Barack Obammy was never born. Shall we try?

Ready.

Set.

GO!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:39 AM (4df7R)

356 President Obama: "We are here today because we know we cannot be complacent. History travels not only forwards, but backwards and sideways." Fifty bucks for ANYONE who can tell me what the hell that is supposed to mean in any of the recognized world languages. Hell, I'll even go for Klingon and Quenya.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at April 10, 2014 11:39 AM (659DL)

357 "Carney, ask Yellin if we can go to 105% on the printing presses." Captain, the presses will never take it!

Posted by: Scotty at April 10, 2014 11:39 AM (XUKZU)

358 There are only 90 inherited peerages now, and they're "elected." Most of them are descendants of appointed peers anyway, so the much-feared English Ruling Class is not nearly the threat some imagine it to be.

So far as the inbred royalty goes, take a closer look. They've imported several new dynasties since we have -- and appear in the process of importing another. They had to change their name during WWI so they wouldn't appear so German (funny, so did my family). Prince Philip, a Greek, is related to Alexandra of Russia.

Somewhat more diverse than Kennedys or Bushes. For all the good it does them.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at April 10, 2014 11:39 AM (xq1UY)

359
Larry the Cable Guy tells a story about his grandmother and her walking farts. As a white hair shopping near herds of elderly folks, Larry wasn't telling a joke, it's the truth! Grandma farts long and loud but doesn't miss a step.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at April 10, 2014 11:40 AM (nQjHM)

360 "And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!"

Are we twirling towards freedom across an ocean of tomorrows?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:40 AM (4df7R)

361 Fifty bucks for ANYONE who can tell me what the hell that is supposed to mean in any of the recognized world languages. Hell, I'll even go for Klingon and Quenya. - It means Barky has found Ace's time machine.

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 10, 2014 11:41 AM (XUKZU)

362 "Abortions for some, tiny american flags for others!"

Posted by: Obamos at April 10, 2014 11:41 AM (hFL/3)

363 You do NOT want me jumping on a trampoline in a bikini. It would be traumatic for everyone involved. But I will wear one of my tighter shirts. *nod* Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 03:38 PM (4df7R) *sigh* Fine. But the one that looks like this.... http://tinyurl.com/mrjwv2n

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 11:41 AM (da5Wo)

364 "I fart in their general direction."

Posted by: French Knight in the Castle - Monty Python at April 10, 2014 11:41 AM (baiNQ)

365

You do NOT want me jumping on a trampoline in a bikini.

-------

You let *us* worry about what we want.

Posted by: @JohnTant at April 10, 2014 11:41 AM (eytER)

366 President Obama: "We are here today because we know we cannot be complacent. History travels not only forwards, but backwards and sideways." Fifty bucks for ANYONE who can tell me what the hell that is supposed to mean in any of the recognized world languages. Hell, I'll even go for Klingon and Quenya. Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at April 10, 2014 03:39 PM (659DL) ---- ---- ---- Could be interpreted to mean Obama finally is aware he has no clue what he's talking about 97% of the time. But I wouldn't bet on it.

Posted by: Beagle at April 10, 2014 11:42 AM (sOtz/)

367 I always did like that serving of Heinz Baked Beans that accompanies a "full English breakfast" while traveling in England. Even if it did remind me of Teresa Heinz and yielded the sort of noxious gas that her husband, Jean Fraud Kerry is full of.

Posted by: Comanche Voter at April 10, 2014 11:42 AM (wdHk6)

368 Fifty bucks for ANYONE who can tell me what the hell that is supposed to mean in any of the recognized world languages. Hell, I'll even go for Klingon and Quenya.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at April 10, 2014 03:39 PM (659DL)

TRANSLATION:

"I"m up here and I'm supposed to say something profound. I don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about, but whatever. If I just string a bunch of words together in a way that sounds DEEP, my lapdog media cockholsters will be slavering all over themselves to gobble my knob on the news tonight."

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:43 AM (4df7R)

369
I fart on your mustache!

Posted by: Baghdad Bob at April 10, 2014 11:43 AM (nQjHM)

370 FYI and for what it is worth? Stephen Colbert will be the next host of CBSÂ’ Â“Late Show,Â” drawing congratulations from retired Army Gen. David Petraeus, former commander of U.S. troops in both Iraq and Afghanistan. Â“It is great to see a figure who has been such a tremendous supporter of our men and women in uniform Â— and who visited them in combat Â— selected to host the Â‘Late Show!Â’ Â” Petraeus told Military Times on Thursday. Colbert famously visited U.S. troops in Iraq in June 2009,when then-Iraq commander Gen. Ray Odierno gave Colbert an Army regulation haircut under a direct order from President Obama. In a March 2009 interview with Stars and Stripes, Colbert said he was honored to be asked to entertain U.S. troops, especially since the media had largely stopped covering the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. In his office, he keeps a flag from the 82nd Airborne Division that a wounded soldier who attended his show gave him. Â“Those men and women are sacrificing as much as they ever have; theyÂ’re away from their families, their families are losing homes back here, their families are losing jobs back here, and, you know, weÂ’re in a time of change, not much has changed for them yet,Â” Colbert said at the time.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 10, 2014 11:43 AM (t3UFN)

371 I'm eating Mexican food tonight, sorry Earth.

Posted by: Dr Spank at April 10, 2014 11:43 AM (5UteM)

372 That is such utter bovine excrement that they believe man can have any effect on the environment. Its like a fart in a hurricane.

Posted by: Gmac-Pondering the coming implosion, and hoping its 404care at April 10, 2014 11:43 AM (baiNQ)

373

President Obama: "We are here today because we know we cannot be complacent. History travels not only forwards, but backwards and sideways."

-------

History traveling backwards? You mean like back in the day when it was socially acceptable to eat dogs?

Posted by: @JohnTant at April 10, 2014 11:43 AM (eytER)

374 I'm pretty sure Prince Phillip is only technically Greek--if I remember right Greece imported their royal family from Denmark.

Posted by: the guy that moves pianos for a living... at April 10, 2014 11:43 AM (5REbo)

375 I like curry.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 10, 2014 11:43 AM (7ObY1)

376 Fine. But the one that looks like this....

http://tinyurl.com/mrjwv2n

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 03:41 PM (da5Wo)

...

Fine. But you're posting bail if I get picked up for public lewdness!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:43 AM (4df7R)

377 @352 A Chaucer scholar! "He war somedeel squeemish of farting."
I believe you'll find it in Rabelais, as well. The prissy thing, pretty modern.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at April 10, 2014 11:43 AM (xq1UY)

378 In five years, the libs hair will be on fire screaming at the world, "We are running out of cow farts! The Republicans want to exhaust our supply of cow farts for future generations... and kill old people!"

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 10, 2014 11:44 AM (BZAd3)

379 Scott Brown trailing Jean Shaheen by 8 points. hahahahahaha! Tsunami. November.

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 11:44 AM (O96tM)

380 We got your farts right here: http://tinyurl.com/7temwyj

Posted by: Japan at April 10, 2014 11:44 AM (CTCNK)

381 @352 A Chaucer scholar! "He war somedeel squeemish of farting."

Now I'm having traumatic flashbacks to reading "The Miller's Tale." The ending. Blech!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:45 AM (4df7R)

382 Could be interpreted to mean Obama finally is aware he has no clue what he's talking about 97% of the time. But I wouldn't bet on it.

Posted by: Beagle

Oh, he knows quite well because 97% of the time he's talking about his favorite subject.

I'll give you one guess.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at April 10, 2014 11:45 AM (m58Tu)

383 ... Fine. But you're posting bail if I get picked up for public lewdness! Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 03:43 PM (4df7R) Done and done. Where the hell is that Logistics Director guy?? We need one of those shirts, stat.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 11:45 AM (da5Wo)

384 Fifty bucks for ANYONE who can tell me what the hell that is supposed to mean in any of the recognized world languages. Hell, I'll even go for Klingon and Quenya. - It means Barky and Biden have been playing Mad Libs again.

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 10, 2014 11:45 AM (XUKZU)

385 OT, but the Gosnell movie folks reached 500K and released a 1 minute video of one of the producers reading the Grand Jury report against Gosnell. Very quick, and very damning. http://youtu.be/AHTDBLFKB-o

Posted by: Lauren at April 10, 2014 11:46 AM (hFL/3)

386 Drive Pickup Truck Leave Lights on During the Day Hoard 100w Incandescents Flush Toilet Twice Warm truck in the driveway before driving. ** adds "Fart in Public" to the list of things to do to piss off the Treehuggers

Posted by: fixerupper at April 10, 2014 11:46 AM (nELVU)

387 >>TRANSLATION: "I"m up here and I'm supposed to say something profound. I don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about, but whatever. If I just string a bunch of words together in a way that sounds DEEP, my lapdog media cockholsters will be slavering all over themselves to gobble my knob on the news tonight." And, darn it all, I've already used that "skies of tomorrow, oceans of tomorrow line.

Posted by: Lizzy at April 10, 2014 11:47 AM (gzJJ2)

388 It means TOTUS needs a tune-up and Abacus-brain Gaylord never caught on.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 10, 2014 11:47 AM (b7rtK)

389

Fifty bucks for ANYONE who can tell me what the hell that is supposed to mean in any of the recognized world languages.

Devil's Advocate: (1) "In this day and age you can not redraw international boundaries with military force"; (2) "Putin's 19th century tactics do not work in the 21st century"; (3) Putin is clearly kicking ass, redrawing boundaries, slut shaming Obama and generally doing as he pleases; (4) ergo, history has travelled backwards. Everything Obama impotently says today is still true, but Ukranian events are happening in the past.

Best I got.

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at April 10, 2014 11:47 AM (JtwS4)

390 @377 You're right ofv course; there was a great, peace-hoping international royalist movement in the 19th century, and they're all related to Victoria. But Elizabeth II is related to William the Bastard, or even the Tudors, about as much as I am, and I'm not English. Although both my families raided there from time to time.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at April 10, 2014 11:47 AM (xq1UY)

391 Fine. But you're posting bail if I get picked up for public lewdness! My sister owns a bail bond company. You're covered!

Posted by: rickb223 at April 10, 2014 11:47 AM (d0Dmj)

392 Somebody who frequents the ONT needs to ask aussie about the big cyclone in Australia and whether or not she's in any danger.

Posted by: joncelli at April 10, 2014 11:48 AM (RD7QR)

393 I'll give you one guess. ---- ---- ---- Himself! aka Teh Won, Historical First, Let Me Be Clear... FTW!

Posted by: Beagle at April 10, 2014 11:48 AM (sOtz/)

394 Considering: - the FDA banned the only OTC asthma medication available in the US (which had been available for 50 years and had no viable replacement) 2 years ago because the minuscule amount of propellant was put on a greenhouse gas list - NYC has successfully banned foods and drinks that it deemed "unhealthy" - Moochelle and friends have legislated what kids can and cannot eat in school - and the countless other nanny state and "Climate Change" regulations we've seen... Is it really far fetched to believe that we're not far from seeing regulations on the sale of beans, broccoli, and Mexican food... for the sake of The Planet and The Children?

Posted by: Damiano at April 10, 2014 11:48 AM (j0wOO)

395 @MWR, I grew up in North Florida, so my breakfasts were very southern. Staples included: Scrambled or fried eggs, grits (fried if made from leftovers), griddle cakes with cane syrup or French toast with milk gravy, biscuits, sausage patties or country ham, and bacon. Baked beans were a side for fried chicken.

Posted by: Mandy P., lurking lurker who lurks at April 10, 2014 11:48 AM (qFpRI)

396 Is it really far fetched to believe that we're not far from seeing regulations on the sale of beans, broccoli, and Mexican food... And lose 30 million votes?

Posted by: rickb223 at April 10, 2014 11:49 AM (d0Dmj)

397 395 Somebody who frequents the ONT needs to ask aussie about the big cyclone in Australia and whether or not she's in any danger. Posted by: joncelli at April 10, 2014 03:48 PM (RD7QR) I'll do my best to remember.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 11:49 AM (da5Wo)

398 methane is odorless. Try again.

Posted by: lonetown at April 10, 2014 11:49 AM (b5Kv/)

399 *snort!*

White wing supremacist: swan attacks foreign students

UK Telegraph: http://fw.to/kCYVNfm

My guess? Some foreign student was chucking stones at the swan or otherwise harassing it, and the swan remembers and acts accordingly.

They might not have the biggest brain in the animal kingdom, but swans are mean bastards, and I wouldn't put it past them to hold a grudge.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:49 AM (4df7R)

400 You do NOT want me jumping on a trampoline in a bikini. It would be traumatic for everyone involved. But I will wear one of my tighter shirts. *nod* Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 03:38 PM (4df7R) Not the Hot Air Button Girls uniform? *sadpanda*

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 11:49 AM (mf5HN)

401 398 @MWR, I grew up in North Florida, so my breakfasts were very southern. Staples included: Scrambled or fried eggs, grits (fried if made from leftovers), griddle cakes with cane syrup or French toast with milk gravy, biscuits, sausage patties or country ham, and bacon. Baked beans were a side for fried chicken. Posted by: Mandy P., lurking lurker who lurks at April 10, 2014 03:48 PM (qFpRI) See???? THIS is someone who knows what food is all about.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 11:50 AM (da5Wo)

402 This ... from the country that once ruled 1/3rd of the world.

Posted by: thrill at April 10, 2014 11:50 AM (L8CQp)

403 Speaking of Wow Factor.

What growth in the economy? Family Dollar to shut 370 stores.
http://tinyurl.com/n3qlr2m

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 10, 2014 11:50 AM (b7rtK)

404 Where the hell is that Logistics Director guy?? We need one of those shirts, stat.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 03:45 PM (da5Wo)

#twoweeks

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:50 AM (4df7R)

405 I shall endeavor to reduce my emission occurrences to 16 a day from the average 17. Just doing my fart, er part.

Posted by: Javems at April 10, 2014 11:51 AM (nTgAI)

406 The Fox News - NIPCC report in the side bar, while not mentioning cow farts, does make virtually the whole of the left look even more (as if that is even possible) like idiots over their climate hysteria.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 10, 2014 11:51 AM (BZAd3)

407 Alternate post title: !

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 11:51 AM (O96tM)

408

"Now, actually, yeah, those smelly emissions are methane and methane is in fact a greenhouse gas."

I'm sure some other pedant has already pointed this out, but actually, methane is odourless. What makes passed gas smell is the presence of sulphur-bearing compounds, usually from the metabolism of proteins containing tryptophan.

Posted by: Titus Quinctius Cincinnatus at April 10, 2014 11:51 AM (YYJjz)

409 Where the hell is that Logistics Director guy?? We need one of those shirts, stat.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 03:45 PM (da5Wo)

#twoweeks

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 03:50 PM (4df7R)/i]

*pulls out scissors*

I'll make MWR one right now!

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 11:51 AM (GQ8sn)

410 "Family Dollar to shut 370 stores." Clearly because people are just shopping at Saks with all their excessive wealth, right? RIGHT?

Posted by: MSM at April 10, 2014 11:51 AM (hFL/3)

411 Next, they will come for the curry. Posted by: Jean-Pierre Folderol, Member, The League of Ugly Shirted Gentlemen at April 10, 2014 03:27 PM (FlRtG) Please no. One of my favorite foods. Thai curry, mostly.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 10, 2014 11:51 AM (IXrOn)

412 hahaha!!!

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 11:51 AM (GQ8sn)

413 Is it really far fetched to believe that we're not far from seeing regulations on the sale of beans, broccoli, and Mexican food... for the sake of The Planet and The Children? Posted by: Damiano at April 10, 2014 03:48 PM (j0wOO) --- Nope. remember.... right now.... there is a war going on in Utah because the Federal Governemnt has put dozens of ranchers out of business and the the last rancher standing in the area isn't taking any more and calling "bullshit".... .... over a fucking turtle.

Posted by: fixerupper at April 10, 2014 11:51 AM (nELVU)

414 #twoweeks Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 03:50 PM (4df7R) Aw fuck it. If you want something done right..... *rummages through drawers for scissors and white undershirt*

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 11:52 AM (da5Wo)

415 Speaking of Wow Factor. What growth in the economy? Family Dollar to shut 370 stores. Emburning Times get closer.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 10, 2014 11:52 AM (d0Dmj)

416 What growth in the economy? Family Dollar to shut 370 stores.
http://tinyurl.com/n3qlr2m

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 10, 2014 03:50 PM (b7rtK)

Dammit ! I hope they don't close the one near me.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:52 AM (4df7R)

417 *shhharrrttt*

Posted by: NASDAQ [/i] [/b] at April 10, 2014 11:52 AM (m58Tu)

418 Wait, so what you're saying is that it's the feces that makes the methane stinky?

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 11:52 AM (O96tM)

419 Nothing like New Orleans Shrimp and grits

Posted by: traumakitty at April 10, 2014 03:39 PM (qbhII)

I have an ex-gf that I'm still on really good terms with that lives in Charleston, so I'm sticking to my shrimp and grits story.

Posted by: Country Singer at April 10, 2014 11:52 AM (L8r/r)

420 Not the Hot Air Button Girls uniform?

*sadpanda*

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 03:49 PM (mf5HN)

Oh, you're right! Shoot...

OOH! I know! Beth can wear one, I'll wear the other!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:53 AM (4df7R)

421 What makes passed gas smell is the presence of sulphur-bearing compounds, usually from the metabolism of proteins containing tryptophan. Tryptophan? No wonder they knock you out!

Posted by: rickb223 at April 10, 2014 11:53 AM (d0Dmj)

422 I saw Sulphurous Ass open for Global Stench at CGBGs in 1980.

Posted by: Beagle at April 10, 2014 11:53 AM (sOtz/)

423 What growth in the economy? Family Dollar to shut 370 stores. -------- Because of the impending alien invasion people have more money and no longer have to shop at a dollar store.

Posted by: Paul Krugman at April 10, 2014 11:53 AM (Aif/5)

424 The Masters is so comforting.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 10, 2014 11:53 AM (IXrOn)

425 OOH! I know! Beth can wear one, I'll wear the other! Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 03:53 PM (4df7R) Some MWR on Beth action??? Now we're talking!

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 11:54 AM (da5Wo)

426 Some MWR on Beth action??? Now we're talking!

Huh? Is this going to be like Fight Club or something?

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 11:54 AM (GQ8sn)

427 *pulls out scissors*
I'll make MWR one right now!

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 03:51 PM (GQ8sn)

HEY! You can't go cutting up my shirt WHILE I'M WEARING IT. Sheesh!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:54 AM (4df7R)

428 NH would be a key pickup. How are the other GOP candidates doing? If they have any native NH support they should be able to beat Brown in the primary. All the money in the world just buys signs and airtime. If NH GOP'ers don't like him, they'll defeat him.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 10, 2014 11:55 AM (ZshNr)

429 CNN.com Top Story

Anyone wanna guess?

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at April 10, 2014 11:55 AM (m58Tu)

430 >Some MWR on Beth action??? Now we're talking!

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 03:54 PM (da5Wo)<

Is it June 21st yet? Huh? Is it is it??

Posted by: Muad'dib at April 10, 2014 11:55 AM (sjdRT)

431

Some MWR on Beth action??? Now we're talking!

Huh? Is this going to be like Fight Club or something?

No. Because we'll definitely be talking about it. And asking for pics.

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at April 10, 2014 11:55 AM (JtwS4)

432 President Obama: "We are here today because we know we cannot be complacent. History travels not only forwards, but backwards and sideways." Fifty bucks for ANYONE who can tell me what the hell that is supposed to mean in any of the recognized world languages. --------------------- Makes perfect sense to me. In Marxese, history moves inevitably toward the realization of communism. (Science!!!) To be against communism is to be against history, "on the wrong side of history." Despite Science!!!, Marxists see that the "inevitable" current of history is often thwarted, sidetracked, or even set backward by reactionaries. These glitches created by the counter-revolution are ultimately futile since History cannot be stopped. Nevertheless, they must be fought because they delay communism.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at April 10, 2014 11:55 AM (dfYL9)

433 Mercapatan is added to natural gas (which is mostly methane after being processed) to make it smellable.

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 10, 2014 11:55 AM (BAS5M)

434 Huh? Is this going to be like Fight Club or something? Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 03:54 PM (GQ8sn) Oh no. Buttered popcorn better - extra butter.

Posted by: LoneStarHeeb at April 10, 2014 11:55 AM (BZAd3)

435

"Tryptophan? No wonder they knock you out!"

Oops, actually I was wrong - it's methionine, not tryptophan.

Posted by: Titus Quinctius Cincinnatus at April 10, 2014 11:55 AM (YYJjz)

436 HEY! You can't go cutting up my shirt WHILE I'M WEARING IT. Sheesh! Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 03:54 PM (4df7R) No! I'm not getting grabby! I'm......making sure the shirt is pulled way from your skin. Don't want to get cut.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 11:55 AM (da5Wo)

437 Huh? Is this going to be like Fight Club or something?

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 03:54 PM (GQ8sn)

Beth is my fully realized mirror universe persona. *nod* The only question is, which of us is the evil one? mwahahahaha!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 11:56 AM (4df7R)

438 What growth in the economy? Family Dollar to shut 370 stores. http://tinyurl.com/n3qlr2m Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 10, 2014 03:50 PM (b7rtK) And these are the guys that cater to the more impoverished amonst us! I prefer Dollar General myself when shopping for fine jewelry and furs for Mrs H.

Posted by: Hrothgar at April 10, 2014 11:56 AM (o3MSL)

439 Over the years, we have covered it several times on the ONT: there are ways to prepare beans that do not result in the expected. No reason for the many overseeing agencies, here and abroad, not to impose those on the big producers.

We've been hearing about USDA's jurisdiction in your garden, and your home kitchen if you serve anyone outside immediate family. Here's their entree, so to speak.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at April 10, 2014 11:56 AM (xq1UY)

440 CNN.com Top Story Anyone wanna guess? Someone did something in Florida?

Posted by: rickb223 at April 10, 2014 11:56 AM (d0Dmj)

441 Not the Hot Air Button Girls uniform? *sadpanda* Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 03:49 PM

Just imagine Poppin' Fresh in one....

Posted by: MrScribbler at April 10, 2014 11:56 AM (dDzOj)

442 Huh? Is this going to be like Fight Club or something? ------------------------- No. Because we'll definitely be talking about it. And asking for pics. Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at April 10, 2014 03:55 PM (JtwS4) So it's like CrossFit.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 11:56 AM (da5Wo)

443 This thread is getting stinky. We need another one toot suite.

Posted by: Mama AJ, here all week at April 10, 2014 11:56 AM (SUKHu)

444 BCochran certainly lives a Walter Mitty life...

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 10, 2014 11:57 AM (b7rtK)

445 Beth is my fully realized mirror universe persona. *nod* The only question is, which of us is the evil one? mwahahahaha!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 03:56 PM (4df7R)

So......how do you feel about eyepatches and goatees?

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 11:57 AM (GQ8sn)

446 CNN.com Top Story Anyone wanna guess? Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 10, 2014 03:55 PM (m58Tu) fnord (m58Tu) Kissing Republicans?

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at April 10, 2014 11:57 AM (qyfb5)

447 CNN.com Top Story

Anyone wanna guess?

Someone did something in Florida?

Posted by: rickb223 at April 10, 2014 03:56 PM (d0Dmj)

Another plane went missing?!?!

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 11:57 AM (GQ8sn)

448 Fart Proudly, an essay by B Franklin. http://tinyurl.com/6kc4fh

Posted by: Lester at April 10, 2014 11:58 AM (2UPXV)

449 Senator Ted Cruz ‏@SenTedCruz 6h Looks like there may have been more than a "smidgen of corruption" behind the #IRS targeting after all... http://tinyurl.com/k9gzj82 Â… *I changed his freebeacon url

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: The Green Jacket at April 10, 2014 11:58 AM (IXrOn)

450 Posted by: Margarita DeVille at April 10, 2014 03:55 PM (dfYL9) fnord (dfYL9) BINGO

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at April 10, 2014 11:58 AM (qyfb5)

451 I imagine Ace in James Bond villain pajamas, tossing out the word "fart" and cackling as the horde chases it for 500 posts.

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at April 10, 2014 11:59 AM (JtwS4)

452 Makes perfect sense to me. In Marxese, history moves inevitably toward the realization of communism. (Science!!!) To be against communism is to be against history, "on the wrong side of history." Despite Science!!!, Marxists see that the "inevitable" current of history is often thwarted, sidetracked, or even set backward by reactionaries. These glitches created by the counter-revolution are ultimately futile since History cannot be stopped. Nevertheless, they must be fought because they delay communism. Posted by: Margarita DeVille at April 10, 2014 03:55 PM (dfYL9) ---- ---- ---- Yeah, it's economic determinism, historical materialism and traditional leftist cant dressed up as deep thoughts by Jack Handey. Like Marx, Obama is always preaching his own personal arc of history. If you want to be serious about it.

Posted by: Beagle at April 10, 2014 12:00 PM (sOtz/)

453 @435- history moving backward and sideways. In the current context that means that Spartan warriors had butt-boys and no one thought it was weird, but then somehow things went all pear-shaped and homosexuality got relegated to the fringe for the next few thousand years.

Posted by: JEM at April 10, 2014 12:00 PM (o+SC1)

454 awesome JUDGE SIDES WITH LOUISIANA IN VOUCHER CASE JINDAL: Â‘WIN FOR CHILDREN AND THEIR PARENTSÂ’ BY: Elizabeth Harrington Â— April 10, 2014 3:44 pm A federal court has rejected attempts by the Justice Department to scrap LouisianaÂ’s school choice program, ending a months-long battle between the state and the Obama administration.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: The Green Jacket at April 10, 2014 12:00 PM (IXrOn)

455 Posted by: Stringer Davis at April 10, 2014 03:56 PM (xq1UY) Serious you guys, y'all are too stupid to even cook beans, let alone have a healthy diet. That's why the administration will be quartering a political health officer into each of your homes to ensure that you eat (and vote) correctly!

Posted by: Hrothgar at April 10, 2014 12:00 PM (o3MSL)

456 Another plane went missing?!?!

Posted by: EC

Sadly, no. But you're in the right ballpark.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at April 10, 2014 12:00 PM (m58Tu)

457 Alright, I'm outa here. See you folks later.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 12:00 PM (da5Wo)

458 JUDGE SIDES WITH LOUISIANA IN VOUCHER CASE
JINDAL: Â‘WIN FOR CHILDREN AND THEIR PARENTSÂ’

BY: Elizabeth Harrington Â— April 10, 2014 3:44 pm

A federal court has rejected attempts by the Justice Department to scrap LouisianaÂ’s school choice program, ending a months-long battle between the state and the Obama administration.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: The Green Jacket at April 10, 2014 04:00 PM (IXrOn)

$25,000 vouchers for all?

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 12:00 PM (GQ8sn)

459 NH would be a key pickup. How are the other GOP candidates doing? If they have any native NH support they should be able to beat Brown in the primary. All the money in the world just buys signs and airtime. If NH GOP'ers don't like him, they'll defeat him.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 10, 2014 03:55 PM (ZshNr)

The problem around here in NH is that the Repukes will go for Brown, no problem. But the rest of us -- conservatives, libertarians, independents -- won't be so easily swayed. ESPECIALLY the libertarians. There's a huge Luap Nor contingent up here, and they're not fond of carpetbagger Brown.

If he makes it through the primary he'll stand a good chance to win, provided he doesn't fuck up royally. But he's going to have to ingratiate himself to the conservative side of the party if he wants to beat Shaheen, because he's not going to win just pulling the moderates in. A lot of the moderates are going to go for Shaheen because she's a known, familiar quantity. And the problem with Brown is that he's a fucking RINO of the first degree who dragged his loser ass up here to the Granite state when he couldn't cut it in Massachusetts against a fake indian. That doesn't exactly scream, "I respect and embrace my conservative fellows!"

To say he has an uphill battle is putting it mildly.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 12:00 PM (4df7R)

460 From the Glenn Ford movie Trial I think one quote will always stick with me. From Abbe the gal who was a Communist fellow traveler but reformed, "The truth on Monday was a lie by Tuesday."

And did I mention the Communist lawyer who wanted poor Angel Chavez to be convicted of murder and sentenced to death, well when Glenn started to give his speech at the end to argue mercy for Angel. The Communist lawyer tried to make the judge over-react by trying to incite him. So the lawyer called the black judge an Uncle Tom.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 10, 2014 12:01 PM (b7rtK)

461 358 President Obama: "We are here today because we know we cannot be complacent. History travels not only forwards, but backwards and sideways."

Fifty bucks for ANYONE who can tell me what the hell that is supposed to mean in any of the recognized world languages. Hell, I'll even go for Klingon and Quenya.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at April 10, 2014 03:39 PM (659DL)

What he's saying is that "Progress" isn't guaranteed. Things can get worse.

But to understand why Obama would want to make such a banal, dumbass comment like that, you have to consider the Marxist context. Marxism holds as an article of faith (literally) that history is the march of progress. Orthodox Marxism contended that Progress is inevitable -- that the revolution will occur automatically, regardless of what we did about it. Marx wasn't suggesting revolution, really, so much as predicting it.

See, Marx wasn't just a lousy economist, he was a lousy historian. In addition to devising completely wrong economic theories, he also devised a completely wrong theory of history itself.

Then, it was the next generation of Communists -- the Leninist faction -- that argued that Progress will not happen all by itself. That History must be pushed "Forward." That it has to be led by a small faction of revolutionaries, who through force of will MAKE the revolution happen.

And if they don't MAKE it happen, the Glorious Revolution that Marx predicted might not occur at all!

So, what Obama is saying here is that he is a Leninist, not an orthodox, Marxist.

Posted by: Phinn at April 10, 2014 12:01 PM (i5GO4)

462 Serious you guys, y'all are too stupid to even cook beans, let alone have a healthy diet. That's why the administration will be quartering a political health officer into each of your homes to ensure that you eat (and vote) correctly! Ima gonna quarter him and serve him with fava beans.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 10, 2014 12:01 PM (d0Dmj)

463 "Family Dollar to shut 370 stores." So now people will have to drive 2 blocks to find one.

Posted by: jwest at April 10, 2014 12:01 PM (u2a4R)

464 Over the years, we have covered it several times on the ONT: there are ways to prepare beans that do not result in the expected.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at April 10, 2014 03:56 PM (xq1UY)

That reminds me of something my Dad did one night at the dinner table when I was a kid.

We were having pinto beans and cornbread for supper (we weren't exactly rich, y'all). As my Dad was sitting there he'd first take his fork and squish each bean individually and make a soft pfffft sound then eat the bean. After a few minutes, the rest of us were staring at him trying to figure out just what in the hell he was doing. He lets this go on for a few more minutes until I finally ask him what he's doing.

He just looks up and grins and says, "I'm mashing the farts out of 'em before I eat 'em."

Posted by: Country Singer at April 10, 2014 12:01 PM (L8r/r)

465 $25,000 vouchers for all? Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 04:00 PM (GQ8sn) sorry, h/t freebeacon.com current headline

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: The Green Jacket at April 10, 2014 12:01 PM (IXrOn)

466 Hey, we are just ferreting out hypocrisy! That is the greatest of all sins. And this guy claimed to be a Christian. And, yes, he didn't try to pass anti-make out legislation, but you know he would have! What? Some state senator who actually did try to pass anti-gun legislation was a secret gun runner? Local story! LOCAL STORY. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.

Posted by: MSM at April 10, 2014 12:02 PM (hFL/3)

467 That's why the administration will be quartering a political health officer into each of your homes to ensure that you eat (and vote) correctly!

Nothing in the Bill of Rights must be left unviolated.

Posted by: HR at April 10, 2014 12:02 PM (ZKzrr)

468 Posted by: artisanal 'ette: The Green Jacket at April 10, 2014 03:58 PM (IXrOn) There goes that damn Cruz again, stirring up our Republican peasants, just when we were ready to sell them out again.

Posted by: Bitch McCoonell at April 10, 2014 12:02 PM (o3MSL)

469 If Ace doesn't produce a nood soon, I'm going to talk about Justified.

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 12:03 PM (O96tM)

470 Do farts have lumps?

Posted by: Nighthawk at April 10, 2014 12:03 PM (hkjaf)

471 Looks like there may have been more than a "smidgen of corruption" behind the #IRS targeting after all... Posted by: artisanal 'ette: The Green Jacket at April 10, 2014 03:58 PM (IXrOn) fnord (IXrOn) Cummings is an effing crook and scum and liar and used his position as an elected official to harass political opponents. And he lied to the committee about this. And very little, if anything, will be done about it because *the very first thing* the corrupt do is seek to control the systems that can prevent corruption.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at April 10, 2014 12:03 PM (qyfb5)

472 It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. The air was clear, but I hadn't had a decent bowl of beans for a fortnight.

Posted by: Countrysquire at April 10, 2014 12:03 PM (LSJmV)

473 Do farts have lumps?

Posted by: Nighthawk at April 10, 2014 04:03 PM (hkjaf)

Yes. They're called turds.

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 12:03 PM (GQ8sn)

474 Louisiana will have to provide the federal government with data on applicants, including name, race, student I.D. number, address, and the public school district the student would be fleeing. The DOJ can challenge whether a school is Â“impeding desegregationÂ” under the 1975 court ruling Brumfield v. Dodd, an authority the agency has always held. oy

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: The Green Jacket at April 10, 2014 12:04 PM (IXrOn)

475 Is there no Republican candidate that can beat Brown? I know all about his history, but in your opinion, is any other NH GOP'er a legit contender, or did Brown's entrance into the race totally "Bigfoot" everyone else?

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 10, 2014 12:04 PM (ZshNr)

476 Yes. They're called turds.

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 04:03 PM (GQ8sn)

=========

I was afraid of that...

Posted by: Nighthawk at April 10, 2014 12:04 PM (hkjaf)

477 Beans, beans the magical fruit......the more you eat, the more you toot

Posted by: Bart Simpson at April 10, 2014 12:04 PM (61BD9)

478 Cummings is an effing crook and scum and liar and used his position as an elected official to harass political opponents.

And he lied to the committee about this.

And very little, if anything, will be done about it because *the very first thing* the corrupt do is seek to control the systems that can prevent corruption.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at April 10, 2014 04:03 PM (qyfb5)

Remember him going off at Issa not too long ago? Issa started to talk and Cummings went apeshit into a rant, so he cut off his microphone. And then he went even moar crazy.

Now we know why. Cummings was terrified that he was about to be exposed.

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 12:05 PM (GQ8sn)

479 If you skim the foam off the top of the cooking pot while the beans are cooking, you'll cut much of the gas effect. And adding a pinch of baking soda is supposed to help, although I can't say I've noticed that making any difference.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 10, 2014 12:06 PM (7ObY1)

480 Uh oh, I smell a fart tax coming.

Posted by: Heralder at April 10, 2014 12:06 PM (/Mxso)

481 Yes. They're called turds. Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 04:03 PM (GQ8sn)========= I was afraid of that... Posted by: Nighthawk at April 10, 2014 04:04 PM (hkjaf) ---- **smiles** My Dad used to say there are three kinds of turds in this world. There's mustards There's custards And there's stupid dumbshits like you.

Posted by: fixerupper at April 10, 2014 12:06 PM (nELVU)

482 Is there no Republican candidate that can beat Brown? I know all about his history, but in your opinion, is any other NH GOP'er a legit contender, or did Brown's entrance into the race totally "Bigfoot" everyone else?

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 10, 2014 04:04 PM (ZshNr)

The closest bet would be Jim Rubens. I honestly can't speak to whether he's a good or a bad choice, and like I've said, my personal choice is Testerman. But if it comes down to a shooting war (figuratively) between Brown and Rubens, I'd go with Rubens.

http://jimrubens.com/

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 12:07 PM (4df7R)

483 It sure will be uncanny when the 'real' Stephen Colbert is the exact same as his current 'character.' You know, the character that dumps on Conservatives and exalts Leftists.

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 12:07 PM (O96tM)

484 Cummings was terrified that he was about to be exposed. Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 04:05 PM (GQ8sn) ---- ---- ---- Why do they seem to worry about consequences when there are none?

Posted by: Beagle at April 10, 2014 12:07 PM (sOtz/)

485
Ooops, that one's on me.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at April 10, 2014 12:07 PM (hUf/y)

486 It's about time that women understood that the Dutch Oven isn't a #waronwomen, it's about keeping greenhouse gases from increasing global warming

Posted by: kbdabear at April 10, 2014 12:08 PM (aTXUx)

487 My Dad used to say there are three kinds of turds in this world.

There's mustards
There's custards
And there's stupid dumbshits like you.

Posted by: fixerupper at April 10, 2014 04:06 PM (nELVU)

Those aren't turds.

Those are 'tards!

Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 12:08 PM (GQ8sn)

488 It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. The air was clear, but I hadn't had a decent bowl of beans for a fortnight. Posted by: Country ---------------- I haven't read the entire thread, but I'm willing to risk pinning "Possible Thread Winner" on this one.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 10, 2014 12:08 PM (aDwsi)

489 Beans for breakfast. And now thou knowest why Anne Hathaway made me stay in London Town. She said she could smelleth me halfway to Avon.

Posted by: William Shakespeare at April 10, 2014 12:08 PM (7ObY1)

490

If Ace doesn't produce a nood soon, I'm going to talk about Justified.

Someone tell ace about psyllium husks.

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 10, 2014 12:08 PM (BAS5M)

491 Okey, here goes... Justified season finale: 4/10. Weak. Very weak.

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 12:08 PM (O96tM)

492 459 Another plane went missing?!?! Posted by: EC Sadly, no. But you're in the right ballpark. Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 10, 2014 04:00 PM (m58Tu) ********* There's a missing train?

Posted by: Joey Biden at April 10, 2014 12:08 PM (RJMhd)

493 I liked Testerman's positions as outlined on her website, and I definitely remember her being an effective conservative gadfly a few years ago, though I can't remember the issue.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 10, 2014 12:09 PM (ZshNr)

494 Now, it may seem odd to apply Henri Bergson's theory of comedy to the cult of the Yellow King, but if you consider the multiple accents employed by lawnmower man...

Posted by: not willow, but hoping to willow this thread at April 10, 2014 12:09 PM (JtwS4)

495 Ha! I'm a woman, so I don't fart. Ever.

Posted by: Hobbitopoly at April 10, 2014 12:10 PM (fk1A8)

496 A rhyme for fart lovers: Beans, beans, the magical fruit The more you eat, the more you toot The more you toot, the better you feel So eat your beans with every meal

Posted by: Foukf at April 10, 2014 12:10 PM (pRe5G)

497 Marc Faber says the stock market is setting up for a decline more painful than the sudden crash of 1987. "I think it's very likely that we're seeing, in the next 12 months, an '87-type of crash," Faber said with a devious chuckle on Thursday's episode of "Futures Now." "And I suspect it will be even worse. devious chuckle? drudge is redlining this atm

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: The Green Jacket at April 10, 2014 12:10 PM (IXrOn)

498 nood

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at April 10, 2014 12:10 PM (HVff2)

499 There's a missing train? Posted by: Joey Biden at April 10, 2014 04:08 PM (RJMhd) --- This. THIS is why I come here. **furiously wipes off monitor

Posted by: fixerupper at April 10, 2014 12:10 PM (nELVU)

500 before obama: Dissent is the highest form of patriotism after obama: Dissent is obviously Racism.

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 12:12 PM (O96tM)

501 Now this is a real man's breakfast. http://tinyurl.com/kgpd4th

Posted by: Insomniac at April 10, 2014 12:12 PM (DrWcr)

502 Disarming America: The U.S. has announced plans to place 50 nuclear missiles in storage as part of its commitment to the New START Treaty signed with Russia, ignoring Moscow's violation of another arms treaty. The Pentagon announced Tuesday the United States' Strategic Force Structure designed "to comply with the New START Treaty," as a Defense Department press release notes. It means that 50 Minuteman III missiles Â— out of a current force of 450 Â— will be removed from their silos and stored away. The silos will be kept "warm," that is, available for future use and for re-insertion of the missiles. But it is doubtful that an administration that has as its goal a world without nuclear weapons and that promised the Russians "flexibility" in the gutting of U.S. missile defense would ever even contemplate such a move. The missiles are gone. The Air Force now deploys three ICBM wings on its bases in Wyoming (Francis E. Warren), North Dakota (Minot), and Montana (Malmstrom). Each operates 150 ICBMs, with a squadron consisting of 50. The Obama administration proposes getting rid of one of those squadrons. The remaining 400 deployed ICBMs would be the lowest number since 1962, according to a history of the ICBM force written by Hans Kristensen of the Federation of American Scientists. He says that the U.S. had 203 deployed ICBMs in 1962, at the time of the Cuban missile crisis, with the force expanding rapidly to 597 the following year and topping 1,000 in 1966. The question is why. The New START Treaty was designed for a bipolar world that no longer exists. It ignores China's rapidly growing and increasingly deadly military and missile force as well as threats from an unstable North Korea and a soon-to-be-nuclear Iran. The president has said he dreams of a world without nuclear weapons, but so far it seems to mean only a world without U.S. nukes. Smells

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 10, 2014 12:12 PM (t3UFN)

503 498 Ha! I'm a woman, so I don't fart. Ever.

Posted by: Hobbitopoly at April 10, 2014 04:10 PM (fk1A

Liar!

Posted by: Insomniac at April 10, 2014 12:13 PM (DrWcr)

504 On Tuesday, Holder dropped all pretense of honor and character during this exchange with Congressman Gohmert (R-TX): --------------------- Gohmert again raised the issue of contempt, saying, Â“I realize that contempt is not a big deal to our attorney general, but it is important that we have proper oversight.Â” A visibly upset Holder, leaning back in his chair, shot back, Â“You donÂ’t want to go there, buddy. You donÂ’t want to go there, OK?Â” ---------------- The fcking Attorney General, before Congress, calls a Congressman 'buddy'.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 10, 2014 12:13 PM (aDwsi)

505 Buck Ofama. Sideways.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 10, 2014 12:23 PM (7ObY1)

506 The Limeys love their fart jokes

Posted by: TheQuietMan at April 10, 2014 12:24 PM (1Jaio)

507 These idjuts won't be satisfied until they've robbed all of us of our God-given sanctified right to shitty Mexican food at Taco Bell!!! TO ARMS MY TACO LOVIN' BROTHERS AND SISTERS!!

Posted by: sans_sheriff at April 10, 2014 12:25 PM (lj4x1)

508 As a former plant grazer who once roamed the planet in large herds, I take offense to the idea that my flatulence was responsible for doing any harm to the environment. I mean, the planet was covered with giant animals all walking around and farting, and I dont remember any ice melting. In fact it did the opposite! Might I also remind you that the CO2 levels when I was alive were much much higher than they are now and life flourished. That is until that big ball of light fell down from the sky and killed us all. But thats a different story.

Posted by: Brontosaurus at April 10, 2014 12:31 PM (nj7LO)

509 No, we all don't have to moderate our farting. Or rather, _we_ do but _they_ don't. Our farts are simply the roar of the masses which discomfit the mind and unsettle the olfactories (and warmeth Gaia most unpleasant when notteth cooling or storming unless, um, not). Their farts are sublime and tendeth toward the good and also occur in Prius. All the difference in the world...

Posted by: The Emperor Cletus Augustus at April 10, 2014 12:41 PM (xvN0P)

510 Baroness Verma:
The noble ViscountÂ’s question is so different. He raises a very important point, which is that we need to moderate our behaviour.

If she wants to hold it in that's her business. Wouldn't a law enforcing it rip one right thru Magna Carta though?

Posted by: DaveA[/i][/b][/s] at April 10, 2014 12:46 PM (DL2i+)

511 Who dealt it? The Viscount or the Baroness? next on BBC4.

Posted by: DaveA[/i][/b][/s] at April 10, 2014 12:55 PM (DL2i+)

512 Peasant Food.

Posted by: Cate at April 10, 2014 01:16 PM (VZRWF)

513 What a load of BS. I worked for a pipeline company in the 70's and 80-90's that used to blow off hundreds of pounds pressure of natural gas (methane) from miles of lines 30-48 inches in diameter. More gas than trillions of cows. Enough to heat every house in Canada all winter.

Posted by: Bill sometimes bill from Canada at April 10, 2014 02:00 PM (g4afw)

514 Beans should not be baked. They must be cooked slowly in a pot and they should have PLENTY of bacon. And onions. And beer.

Posted by: Erowmero at April 10, 2014 03:02 PM (1gcFZ)

515 We should all wear methane sensing undergarments with piezoelectric igniters to immediately flare off the gas. This would be a boon for the outergarment industry as certain portions of those garments would need to be fire resistant - requiring new clothes for all citizens and an agency to enforce compliance and a tax for non-compliance. You first, M'Lud.

Posted by: chuckR at April 10, 2014 03:20 PM (w6bKm)

516 "But this idea that we have to "moderate" our farting to save the planet..."

South Park has already done that one :-)

Posted by: Miley's Tongue at April 10, 2014 04:11 PM (R+h7Q)

517 These people are Phylum Idiota.

Posted by: Beverly at April 10, 2014 10:35 PM (8PIZC)

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