Ace of Spades HQ

February 07, 2014

AoSHQ Podcast: Taking The Week Off
— andy

We had CAC lined up to guest with us this week and talk about early polling and election prognostications, then everyone got too busy to actually record the thing. So, in true AoSHQ fashion, we put it off until next week.

In the meantime, feel free to listen to an a episode from the archives, and I'll answer a few Moron Mailbag questions.

James writes: "Thanks very much for the podcasts, they're great fun. When you post the file, would you also please post it in pieces, maybe 30-40 minutes each? My connection is spotty enough that the longer files invariably error out at some point during the download."

A: Have you tried streaming it with Stitcher? Also, let me know in the comments how common this issue is. It's easy enough to split the file, but that's one more thing to have to do.

Buzzsaw90 asks: Doesn't the CBO report prove that Obama is another (better) Lincoln? Which president has emancipated more slaves from the chains of work they did not wish to do?

A: Lincoln is clearly a mere speck of the greatness that is Barack Hussein Obama, 44th President of the United States. Also, asking this question is racist.

Emile says: I've noticed Gabe acting as the official timekeeper.What, if anything, is standing in the way of more or longer podcasts? I know you guys are busy but if it's a matter of hitting the tipjar it would be worth it for me.

A: See the lead above. I'd love to post podcast every day, but keeping it topical means recording one every day too (as opposed to pre-recording a bunch of audio and dribbling it out, I mean) and that's not happening. We can barely get together to record one a week as it is. That said, hitting the tipjar for the Head Ewok is never a bad idea.

We also got lots and lots of election-related questions, which we'll queue up for CAC next week. Thanks for listening and for sending all the questions, comments and even occasional compliments.

Questions & comments here: Ask the Blog

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Open thread in the comments.

Posted by: andy at 10:46 AM | Comments (269)
Post contains 392 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Hey, did anyone notice on the last Justified episode that Nick Searcy, noted AOSHQ moron, was listening to Rush Limbaugh on his stakeout right at the beginning of the episode?

Cool beans.

Posted by: PJ at February 07, 2014 10:48 AM (ZWaLo)

2 do a little dance

Posted by: willow at February 07, 2014 10:48 AM (nqBYe)

3 darn you PJ

Posted by: willow at February 07, 2014 10:48 AM (nqBYe)

4 You know, we just don't see enough SCOAMF on live television.
http://is.gd/708kg2

Posted by: HR at February 07, 2014 10:50 AM (ZKzrr)

5 >> Hey, did anyone notice on the last Justified episode that Nick Searcy, noted AOSHQ moron, was listening to Rush Limbaugh on his stakeout right at the beginning of the episode? Oh yeah. I replayed it right then on the TiVo to make sure I actually heard it.

Posted by: Andy at February 07, 2014 10:50 AM (YOv7L)

6 why doesn't anyone Ever ask the guys what flower they might be if they could choose?

Posted by: willow at February 07, 2014 10:51 AM (nqBYe)

7 Never understood this pod cast thing. From what I understand you all have a good time doing them. I am too anal to sit through an entire one.

Posted by: Nip Sip at February 07, 2014 10:51 AM (0FSuD)

8 PJ, Rush clearly noticed. I heard him play the clip yesterday.

Posted by: mugiwara at February 07, 2014 10:51 AM (LltoM)

Oh yeah. I'm cool. I got a question in there. I'm so much better than the rest of you.

CRAP. I could've been mentioned in the podcast and been 1000 times cooler than just being in a post. Now i hate drm lazy bastards for depriving me of the greater glory. It like my glory has a big hole in it. With nothing to fill it...

Posted by: Bearded Spock at February 07, 2014 10:51 AM (SO2Q8)

10 WAKE UP, PEOPLE. THE JEWS CONTROL ALL THE PODCASTS!

Posted by: WEAK TEA ASSHOLE at February 07, 2014 10:52 AM (iUMdy)

11 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at February 07, 2014 10:52 AM (PYAXX)

12 Geeze, I hate leaving behind a mess in the last thread.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at February 07, 2014 10:52 AM (aDwsi)

13 I can't wait to hear CAC's podcast with The Federalist this week! *bounds off*

Posted by: alexthechick - Come to us, oh mighty SMOD at February 07, 2014 10:52 AM (VtjlW)

14 do a little dance Make a little love...

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at February 07, 2014 10:52 AM (PYAXX)

15 Hey, did anyone notice on the last Justified episode that Nick Searcy, noted AOSHQ moron, was listening to Rush Limbaugh on his stakeout right at the beginning of the episode? Cool beans. Posted by: PJ at February 07, 2014 02:48 PM (ZWaLo) Rush played it yesterday, or the day before on his show.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: TGIF! at February 07, 2014 10:53 AM (IXrOn)

16 Did Ace ever post his "Bane responds to the STFU" bit?

Posted by: Waterhouse at February 07, 2014 10:53 AM (hBNxo)

17 10 WAKE UP, PEOPLE. THE JEWS CONTROL ALL THE PODCASTS! Posted by: WEAK TEA ASSHOLE at February 07, 2014 02:52 PM (iUMdy) ******* Wait...Gabe is Jewish?

Posted by: tasker at February 07, 2014 10:53 AM (RJMhd)

18 Also, be sure to follow BenK on Twitter as well, or he'll be a sad panda. @BenK84

Posted by: Hobbitopoly at February 07, 2014 10:53 AM (fk1A8)

19 13 I can't wait to hear CAC's podcast with The Federalist this week! *bounds off* Posted by: alexthechick - Come to us, oh mighty SMOD at February 07, 2014 02:52 PM (VtjlW) Sometimes I can hear maps. And oranges.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at February 07, 2014 10:53 AM (oFCZn)

20 why doesn't anyone Ever ask the guys what flower they might be if they could choose? Posted by: willow at February 07, 2014 02:51 PM (nqBYe) ha!

Posted by: artisanal 'ette: TGIF! at February 07, 2014 10:53 AM (IXrOn)

21 My question is why did you let the Jews steal our ampersands?

Posted by: WalrusRex at February 07, 2014 10:53 AM (pkL1X)

22 Thank the Good Lord- that Stormfronter sure stank up the last thread....

Posted by: backhoe at February 07, 2014 10:53 AM (ULH4o)

>>>why doesn't anyone Ever ask the guys what flower they might be if they could choose?

Ace, what have you found to be the most enchanting part of your job?

Posted by: Bigby's Frostbitten Hands at February 07, 2014 10:54 AM (3ZtZW)

24 The Stitcher widget fucks with my computer. Can that be fixed?

Posted by: garrett at February 07, 2014 10:54 AM (iUMdy)

25 Pfft. That Lincoln guy had it so easy.

He could go enjoy things like the theater anytime he wanted. When I want to take Michelle to a show in NY or something everyone gets all bitchy 'cause it costs a ton of money and inconveniences lots of people.

Woe is me.

Posted by: SCOAMF at February 07, 2014 10:54 AM (R5Pm3)

26 &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Posted by: Boss Moss at February 07, 2014 10:54 AM (6bMeY)

27 16 Did Ace ever post his "Bane responds to the STFU" bit? Posted by: Waterhouse at February 07, 2014 02:53 PM (hBNxo) ******* Ace's Bane is awful--sounds like he's on helium doing Mickey Mouse.

Posted by: tasker at February 07, 2014 10:54 AM (RJMhd)

28 From last thread. Here's hoping you never have to use it to defend yourself. The cops will seize it and you will most likely never see it again. Posted by: EC at February 07, 2014 02:51 PM (GQ8sn) Nothing on the 57 is illegal, so seizure would be out of the question unless I was not in NC. The cops might have gun envy, but they can't just take it.

Posted by: Nip Sip at February 07, 2014 10:54 AM (0FSuD)

29 go away evil star trek sock

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at February 07, 2014 10:54 AM (SO2Q8)

Ace, what have you found to be the most enchanting part of your job?

You folks can go home now. This thread's been won.

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at February 07, 2014 10:55 AM (A0sHn)

31 Ever ask... what flower they might be if they could choose? A Vagina.

Posted by: Zombie Georgia O'Keefe at February 07, 2014 10:55 AM (iUMdy)

32 artisanal 'ette

giggle, i do wonder if they might be silent for a few seconds pondering .

Posted by: willow at February 07, 2014 10:55 AM (nqBYe)

33 1 Hey, did anyone notice on the last Justified episode that Nick Searcy, noted AOSHQ moron, was listening to Rush Limbaugh on his stakeout right at the beginning of the episode? Cool beans. Posted by: PJ at February 07, 2014 02:48 PM (ZWaLo) No. But when I did ask if anything special happened on the episode not one of you morons pointed out Nick's great story line in that episode. He was the star, baby!

Posted by: Judge Pug at February 07, 2014 10:55 AM (NRYdU)

34 Taking The Week Off ---------------------------- Because, that's what drives the economy.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at February 07, 2014 10:56 AM (aDwsi)

35 I thought I was supposed to get free shipping with AoSHQ Platinum. What gives?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at February 07, 2014 10:56 AM (8ZskC)

36 BossMoss , showoff.

Posted by: willow at February 07, 2014 10:56 AM (nqBYe)

37 Boy, this staying sober all day is BORING. The diet has started!

Posted by: Nip Sip at February 07, 2014 10:56 AM (0FSuD)

38 Podcast playing, from 7 days ago. Is this the new one?

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 07, 2014 10:56 AM (ZshNr)

39 In many ways, this is Obama's story.

Posted by: aquaviva at February 07, 2014 10:57 AM (wFinq)

40 Nothing on the 57 is illegal, so seizure would be out of the question unless I was not in NC. The cops might have gun envy, but they can't just take it.

Someone will take a shine to it and it will mysteriously disappear on its way back from the police evidence locker.

Posted by: EC at February 07, 2014 10:57 AM (GQ8sn)

41 Are the AoSHQ Hobo-Skin Wallets still on Backorder?

Posted by: Ask The Blog at February 07, 2014 10:57 AM (iUMdy)

42 Posted by: Lincolntf at February 07, 2014 02:56 PM (ZshNr) Okay, I know we have a long and storied history of not actually reading the posts- but not even the headline?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at February 07, 2014 10:57 AM (PYAXX)

43 >>>I can't wait to hear CAC's podcast with The Federalist this week!

*bounds off* Posted by: alexthechick - Come to us, oh mighty SMOD at February 07, 2014 02:52 PM<<<

Something tells me that there's another arachnid thread waiting in the wings now. Can't wait for that.

Posted by: tiny spider that builds huge decoy spiders at February 07, 2014 10:57 AM (R5Pm3)

44 Oh, yeah I've heard this one before.

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 07, 2014 10:57 AM (ZshNr)

28: "The cops might have gun envy, but they can't just take it."

They can, and they will. It will then either get lost in Evidence, or be "accidentally" destroyed.

Their having a legal authority to do so is a different matter all together.

Feel free to reference the many reports and YouTube videos of Law Enforcement Officers doing all sorts of things that they "can't do".

Posted by: Azenogoth (Freedom or Fire) at February 07, 2014 10:57 AM (/qzu7)

46 I don't like the podcasts. I can't tell who's who. Maybe if it had a puppet show with everyone's name on their puppet or something.

Posted by: Boss Moss at February 07, 2014 10:58 AM (6bMeY)

So, Wall Street and the DOW jumped up due to the release of the crappy jobs report because everyone now thinks the Fed will not taper QE#478 because of the extremely weak economic data.

Did I just see Spock walk by sporting a Goatee?

Posted by: Registered Voter at February 07, 2014 10:58 AM (Rm+rQ)

48 On phone, can only read a part of the page at a time.

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 07, 2014 10:59 AM (ZshNr)

49 Posted by: Azenogoth (Freedom or Fire) at February 07, 2014 02:57 PM (/qzu7) This. In fact, IIRC, this exact thing happened to that hating hater of hatiness- George Zimmerman. The police confiscated his weapon as evidence in the investigation. To my knowledge, he still doesn't have it back (he had to buy a new weapon). It happens a lot- and not just with guns.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at February 07, 2014 10:59 AM (PYAXX)

50 47 So, Wall Street and the DOW jumped up due to the release of the crappy jobs report because everyone now thinks the Fed will not taper QE#478 because of the extremely weak economic data. Did I just see Spock walk by sporting a Goatee? Posted by: Registered Voter at February 07, 2014 02:58 PM (Rm+rQ) Your agonizer, please.

Posted by: Insomniac at February 07, 2014 10:59 AM (UAMVq)

51 Ace recently hat-tipped CBD. CBD is suspected to be a Jooooooo. QED: Joooooos control this blog!@

Posted by: WAKE UP PANTSLESS at February 07, 2014 11:00 AM (B/VB5)

52 The diet has started! Posted by: Nip Sip ------------------- Kinetic energy, being a product of velocity and mass, we thank you.

Posted by: Skiers at Vail at February 07, 2014 11:00 AM (aDwsi)

53 Maybe if it had a puppet show

Avenue AoSHQ?

Posted by: HR at February 07, 2014 11:01 AM (ZKzrr)

54 Someone will take a shine to it and it will mysteriously disappear on its way back from the police evidence locker. Posted by: EC at February 07, 2014 02:57 PM (GQ8sn) They have to give me a receipt for it and I have all the serial numbers.

Posted by: Nip Sip at February 07, 2014 11:01 AM (0FSuD)

55 28: "The cops might have gun envy, but they can't just take it." They can, and they will. It will then either get lost in Evidence, or be "accidentally" destroyed. Their having a legal authority to do so is a different matter all together. Feel free to reference the many reports and YouTube videos of Law Enforcement Officers doing all sorts of things that they "can't do". This. I have a good friend who had his gun confiscated during a burglary investigation. It was his legally. The cop said he had to take it for "processing". Then it was up to my buddy to try to claim it back when the investigation was over. They dorked him around for a few months, then it was "accidentally destroyed". It's common practice for the cops to take your guns when you're under investigation for any type of shoot, legit or not. Good luck getting them back.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at February 07, 2014 11:01 AM (gtjN1)

56 So, Wall Street and the DOW jumped up due to the release of the crappy jobs report because everyone now thinks the Fed will not taper QE#478 because of the extremely weak economic data. Did I just see Spock walk by sporting a Goatee? - I think it's like Wiley Coyote running off the cliff. The secret is don't look down.

Posted by: WalrusRex at February 07, 2014 11:02 AM (pkL1X)

57 Tonight : Puppet Show and Podcast

Posted by: garrett at February 07, 2014 11:03 AM (iUMdy)

58 I have a good friend who had his gun confiscated during a burglary investigation. It was his legally. The cop said he had to take it for "processing".

Sorry, but we also had to shoot your dog.

Posted by: The Local Police at February 07, 2014 11:03 AM (8ZskC)

59 go cuse.

Posted by: eleven at February 07, 2014 11:03 AM (Hy7dS)

60 55 28: "The cops might have gun envy, but they can't just take it." They can, and they will. It will then either get lost in Evidence, or be "accidentally" destroyed. Their having a legal authority to do so is a different matter all together. Feel free to reference the many reports and YouTube videos of Law Enforcement Officers doing all sorts of things that they "can't do". This. I have a good friend who had his gun confiscated during a burglary investigation. It was his legally. The cop said he had to take it for "processing". Then it was up to my buddy to try to claim it back when the investigation was over. They dorked him around for a few months, then it was "accidentally destroyed". It's common practice for the cops to take your guns when you're under investigation for any type of shoot, legit or not. Good luck getting them back. Posted by: bonhomme at February 07, 2014 03:01 PM (gtjN1) That's theft! Somebody call the...oh.

Posted by: Insomniac at February 07, 2014 11:03 AM (UAMVq)

61 Okay, so Ace would have an Ewok puppet- obviously, and Gabe would have a unicorn puppen (also obviously), but what about the others?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at February 07, 2014 11:03 AM (PYAXX)

54: "They have to give me a receipt for it and I have all the serial numbers."

How quaint. That will of course make all the difference.

/sarc

Posted by: Azenogoth (Freedom or Fire) at February 07, 2014 11:04 AM (f6ZLT)

63 It's common practice for the cops to take your guns when you're under investigation for any type of shoot, legit or not. Good luck getting them back. Another one the cops love to do is to fingerprint your gun and keep it in a locker that's not climate controlled. Fingerprint powder is caustic and over a period of months will damage the weapon. Not to mention what can happen in a dank locker. When you get it back it's cheaper to destroy and get a new one than to try to restore it.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at February 07, 2014 11:04 AM (gtjN1)

64 It's common practice for the cops to take your guns when you're under investigation for any type of shoot, legit or not. Good luck getting them back.

This.

My CCW instructor highly recommended you don't carry $1500 guns for personal defense. A generic Glock will do just fine.

Posted by: EC at February 07, 2014 11:05 AM (GQ8sn)

65 "That said, hitting the tipjar for the Head Ewok is never a bad idea."

Don't you mean the good people at Chevron?!?!?

Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at February 07, 2014 11:05 AM (WdbF7)

66 AllenG, Zim got his guns back. And, it was, like, weeks ago.

Only thing illegal on a FiveseveN would be the optional armor-piercing CopKillerTM boolits, ironically available only to police.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at February 07, 2014 11:05 AM (xq1UY)

67 They have to give me a receipt for it and I have all the serial numbers. Which will do you no good once they report them "accidentally destroyed" and then file off the serial numbers. Even in the cases where it's "only" bureaucratic runaround, you're still out your gun for potentially a year or more.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at February 07, 2014 11:05 AM (PYAXX)

68 AllenG, Zim got his guns back. And, it was, like, weeks ago. Oh, well, weeks ago. And he was acquitted when?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at February 07, 2014 11:06 AM (PYAXX)

69 How quaint. That will of course make all the difference. /sarc Posted by: Azenogoth (Freedom or Fire) at February 07, 2014 03:04 PM (f6ZL People to get compensated for lost "evidence". You must prove they took the gun and "lost it". Reporting the gun as stolen to the national database is a good start.

Posted by: Nip Sip at February 07, 2014 11:06 AM (0FSuD)

70 Which will do you no good once they report them "accidentally destroyed" and then file off the serial numbers. Well, they have to get their drop pieces from somewhere, after all.

Posted by: Insomniac at February 07, 2014 11:06 AM (UAMVq)

71 what about the others? I thought Gabe would be Aquaman?

Posted by: garrett at February 07, 2014 11:06 AM (iUMdy)

72 Obama is going to have a huge Ouchie when he realizes who lit the Olympic flame. Check euro sites or Dead spin for the story. Same Russian chick posted a banana pic of the Obama's last year.

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 07, 2014 11:07 AM (ZshNr)

73 I thought Gabe would be Aquaman? Posted by: garrett at February 07, 2014 03:06 PM (iUMdy) Hmmm... maybe. Or maybe the "new" Green Lantern (you know- the one who DC revealed was gay to so much fanfare last year).

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at February 07, 2014 11:07 AM (PYAXX)

74 I think Zimmerman finally did get his gun back. Probably because he was sufficiently high-profile that awkward questions would be raised if he didn't.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 07, 2014 11:07 AM (pFqpP)

75 Actually--to be fair--I don't even know what Bane is suppose to sound like--but I am still pretty sure Ace's Bane is el stinko.

Posted by: tasker at February 07, 2014 11:08 AM (RJMhd)

76 I think Zimmerman finally did get his gun back. Probably because he was sufficiently high-profile that awkward questions would be raised if he didn't.

Now imagine if you're some nobody.

Posted by: EC at February 07, 2014 11:08 AM (GQ8sn)

77 Is this the new one?

Posted by: Lincolntf

AoSHQ Podcast: Taking The Week Off

Posted by: weft cut-loop[/i] [/b] at February 07, 2014 11:08 AM (cxs6V)

78 DrewM - Punch Gabe - Judy

Posted by: Puppeht Options at February 07, 2014 11:08 AM (iUMdy)

79 I don't even know what Bane is suppose to sound like Kind of like Darth Vader, based on the comics. He has a funky breathing-mask thing that distorts his voice.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at February 07, 2014 11:08 AM (PYAXX)

69: "People to get compensated for lost "evidence". You must prove they took the gun and "lost it". Reporting the gun as stolen to the national database is a good start."

I'm not as well acqainted with this aspect, but I can't recall any case where a person is compensated any where near the value. No matter what the confiscated property is.

Posted by: Azenogoth (Freedom or Fire) at February 07, 2014 11:09 AM (LJpVo)

81 but I am still pretty sure Ace's Bane is el stinko.

But that's what makes it so funny.

I'm sure it would get old quickly, but he said he thought about putting the transcript up at least, since he had spent so much time on it.

Posted by: Waterhouse at February 07, 2014 11:09 AM (hBNxo)

82 Only thing illegal on a FiveseveN would be the optional armor-piercing CopKillerTM boolits, ironically available only to police. Posted by: Stringer Davis at February 07, 2014 03:05 PM (xq1UY There is a very long thread at gunwalker, http://tinyurl.com/mlpvlkw about SS190 ammo, supposedly amour piecing. The ATF does not declare them as such, FN does. Go figure. And yes, I have some.

Posted by: Nip Sip at February 07, 2014 11:09 AM (0FSuD)

83 Actually--to be fair--I don't even know what Bane is suppose to sound like Bingle YouTube Bane. There ya go.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at February 07, 2014 11:10 AM (o4Xc4)

84 So what's wrong with ace? Is there like Ewok parvo running around or something?

Posted by: Burn the Witch at February 07, 2014 11:10 AM (0jFxY)

85 No Drew would be Aquaman.

Posted by: tasker at February 07, 2014 11:10 AM (RJMhd)

86 There needs to be a AoSHQ Podcast Morning Bro crossover at some point in the future,......sponsored by Chevron.

Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at February 07, 2014 11:10 AM (WdbF7)

87 Or maybe the "new" Green Lantern (you know- the one who DC revealed was gay to so much fanfare last year). His constructs are FABULOUS!

Posted by: Insomniac at February 07, 2014 11:11 AM (UAMVq)

88 Now imagine if you're some nobody.

Posted by: EC at February 07, 2014 03:08 PM (GQ8sn)

Egg-zactly.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 07, 2014 11:11 AM (pFqpP)

89 And yes, I have some.

So you did find some after all?

Posted by: EC at February 07, 2014 11:11 AM (GQ8sn)

90 83 Actually--to be fair--I don't even know what Bane is suppose to sound like Bingle YouTube Bane. There ya go. Posted by: bonhomme at February 07, 2014 03:10 PM (o4Xc4) ********* Thanks. --btw I was accidentally feminizing your name the other day--I blame dyslexia because the subject was-- castration. (Off to go listen.)

Posted by: tasker at February 07, 2014 11:11 AM (RJMhd)

91 Taking the week off? Hell, take the rest of your life off.

You're welcome.

Posted by: Barky O'Genius at February 07, 2014 11:12 AM (8ZskC)

92 Commenter podcast, must do.

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 07, 2014 11:12 AM (ZshNr)

93 Check out the Clint Eastwood story on the margin. Anyone expect Tom Cruise do that?

Posted by: JoeyBagels at February 07, 2014 11:12 AM (dcDAk)

94 84 So what's wrong with ace? Is there like Ewok parvo running around or something? Posted by: Burn the Witch at February 07, 2014 03:10 PM (0jFxY) Worms.

Posted by: Judge Pug at February 07, 2014 11:13 AM (NRYdU)

95 Clint Eastwood

http://tinyurl.com/k4nsygg

Posted by: ed gibbon at February 07, 2014 11:13 AM (4eNxd)

96 I have suggested a 'Phone a Moron' segment.

Posted by: garrett at February 07, 2014 11:13 AM (iUMdy)

97 AllenG, have you met General Sarcoff? JFCA, I used the italics and the hipster ",like," what did I miss -- "get this"?

YES he was acquitted A LONG TIME AGO and he JUST NOW got his guns back. Your point exactly, my point exactly, this is why we can't have nice blogs of our own. What's that you say?

Posted by: Stringer Davis at February 07, 2014 11:13 AM (xq1UY)

98 Beware the power of cheese.

Posted by: HR at February 07, 2014 11:14 AM (ZKzrr)

99 Okay... Ace- Ewok pupphet. Gabe- Unicorn or Aquaman (with an option on Green Lantern) Drew- ??? JohnE- ??? Andy- ??? OR Ace- Ewok Gabe- Judy Drew- Punch But that still leaves JohnE & Andy as ???.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at February 07, 2014 11:14 AM (PYAXX)

100 Cops take nice guns alla time. Its why pimps carry gold-plated 1911s with pearl handles

Posted by: Bigby's Frostbitten Hands at February 07, 2014 11:14 AM (3ZtZW)

101

Ooops. "Work" time is over. Time to go.

See y'all later. Have a good weekend.

Posted by: Azenogoth (Freedom or Fire) at February 07, 2014 11:14 AM (/qzu7)

102 I have suggested a 'Phone a Moron' segment.

Posted by: garrett at February 07, 2014 03:13 PM (iUMdy)

Let's be truthful here. It wouldn't be so much "Phone a Moron" as "Drunk Dial Someone and HOPE It's a Moron."

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at February 07, 2014 11:15 AM (4df7R)

103 Posted by: Stringer Davis at February 07, 2014 03:13 PM (xq1UY) Ah. Sorry. Yes, missed the sarcasm. I blame the Jooooooos. 'Cause that seems to be the meme today.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at February 07, 2014 11:15 AM (PYAXX)

104

"I can't believe I'm 202 pounds and he threw me up in the air three times," John said.

That wasn't to save his life. That was to get him off his lawn.

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at February 07, 2014 11:15 AM (A0sHn)

105 96 I have suggested a 'Phone a Moron' segment. Posted by: garrett at February 07, 2014 03:13 PM (iUMdy) That could potentially be problematic if said phone call comes during the drinking times.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at February 07, 2014 11:15 AM (oFCZn)

106
Liberals never ask me about global warming because I have the answers that makes their nuts shrivel up into their paunchy bellies.

Posted by: Joe Bastrdi at February 07, 2014 11:15 AM (nQjHM)

107 A certain someone had a rifle that was used to kill a buffalo which had smashed it's way out of a livestock trailer on interstate 495 in MA. confiscated after the deed. He got it back after about 4 months. The only charge was for unsecured load. I.E the buffalo

Posted by: NativeNH at February 07, 2014 11:15 AM (sh8Iq)

108 That could potentially be ~~problematic~~ f*cking hilarious if said phone call comes during the drinking times. FIFY.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at February 07, 2014 11:16 AM (PYAXX)

109

In The Super Friends cartoon, who was that superhero-in-training kid?

I see Gabe as that guy.

Posted by: @JohnTant at February 07, 2014 11:16 AM (PFy0L)

110 FWIW : "New manager hired for evidence room with troubled past" "Preliminary results of a subsequent audit revealed that 54 containers of drugs, 34 packages of cash and 27 guns were unaccounted for." http://tinyurl.com/ls5cj6h

Posted by: Mike Hammer at February 07, 2014 11:17 AM (aDwsi)

111 Drew as Aquaman only because it sounds like Drew is phoning in from his underwater lair.

Posted by: tasker at February 07, 2014 11:17 AM (RJMhd)

112 From the Daily Mail (because the US MFM will ignore it)

In the latest blunder for an Obama administration ambassadorial nominee, prolific Democratic campaign fundraiser Noah Mamet admitted Thursday that he has never been to Argentina Â– the nation where he wants to represent U.S. interests as America's top diplomat.

Mamet's embarrassing showing comes after a similar face-palm moment from George Tsunis in January who told Arizona Sen. John McCain that he, too, had never visited the country where he asked to be posted.

'Mr. Tsunis, have you been to Norway?' McCain asked.

'I have not,' Tsunis admitted.

The prize for ambassadorial cluelessness, though, may go to Colleen Bell, an Obama bundler who put $800,000 in play for Democrats. She's trading in her work as producer of the soap opera 'The Bold and the Beautiful' to become ambassador to Hungary.

Asked by McCain to describe America's strategic interests in that nation, she launched into a rambling response worthy of a teen beauty pageant contestant.

Faced with a tough question last week during his confirmation hearing about Chinese military provocation against Japan in the East China Sea, (Max) Baucus said plainly, 'I'm no expert on China.'

What does knowledge or qualifications have to do with getting a job? I mean if we started using that Prezzy would have never gotten elected

Posted by: TheQuietMan at February 07, 2014 11:17 AM (1Jaio)

113 Oh, so now all you fancy britches cobloggers feel that you've been liberated from your onerous podcasting job, too? Thanks a heap, Barky!!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] at February 07, 2014 11:17 AM (HsTG8)

114 That could potentially be problematic I'm not seeing this as a problem.

Posted by: garrett at February 07, 2014 11:18 AM (iUMdy)

115

>>>In The Super Friends cartoon, who was that superhero-in-training kid?

Which ones? There were 4 I think. Zan, Jayna, Wendy and the Dork

Posted by: Bigby's Frostbitten Hands at February 07, 2014 11:18 AM (3ZtZW)

116 its 10am and peroni-fest has begun now entertain me

Posted by: navycopjoe at February 07, 2014 11:19 AM (At8tV)

117 I'm not seeing this as a problem.

Posted by: garrett at February 07, 2014 03:18 PM (iUMdy)

The first step is acknowledging that you have a problem. So this could be a problem.

Posted by: Barky O'Genius at February 07, 2014 11:19 AM (8ZskC)

118 If the podcast had video with boobehs I would listen to it. With the sound off.

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at February 07, 2014 11:19 AM (A0sHn)

119

Which ones? There were 4 I think. Zan, Jayna, Wendy and the Dork

----------

Wasn't the Wonder Twins. Must have been The Dork.

Posted by: @JohnTant at February 07, 2014 11:20 AM (PFy0L)

120 Cops take nice guns alla time. Its why pimps carry gold-plated 1911s with pearl handles In the movies, or real life? I have no idea what a pimp looks like in real life.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at February 07, 2014 11:20 AM (o4Xc4)

121
No. But when I did ask if anything special happened on the episode not one of you morons pointed out Nick's great story line in that episode.

He was the star, baby!

Posted by: Judge Pug at February 07, 2014 02:55 PM (NRYdU)

Raylan's dig at Art for needing more range time cracked me up.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at February 07, 2014 11:20 AM (TIIx5)

122 115 Which ones? There were 4 I think. Zan, Jayna, Wendy and the Dork like the obamas michelle, malia, the one everyone forgets, and the Dork

Posted by: navycopjoe at February 07, 2014 11:20 AM (At8tV)

123 That could potentially be problematic if said phone call comes during the drinking times. Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at February 07, 2014 03:15 PM (oFCZn) Otherwise known as When A Moron Is Conscious.

Posted by: alexthechick - Come to us, oh mighty SMOD at February 07, 2014 11:20 AM (VtjlW)

124 Eastwood missed his appointment with FoxNews yesterday. I should have guessed he didn't show because he was out saving somebody's life at a golf reception. Or tearing someone apart with his bare hands, which with him looks just the same.

They didn't cover very well. Could have interviewed the empty chair. He'd get it.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at February 07, 2014 11:20 AM (xq1UY)

125 120 I have no idea what a pimp looks like in real life. really? wow

Posted by: navycopjoe at February 07, 2014 11:21 AM (At8tV)

126 OT- Been reading a bit about the Sept referendum in Scotland to declare independence. No mention of longbows or broadswords yet.

While on one hand I understand the desire for independence, on the other the details don't seem to have been fully explained by the pro-independence side. Also, it's being led by the socialist left (Labor Party) which dominates Scotland politics.

It's pretty fascinating. Even though support is only at about 40% for the time being, the independence side seems to be gaining steam.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at February 07, 2014 11:21 AM (SY2Kh)

127 I think Ace should be a Gorn.

Posted by: eleven at February 07, 2014 11:22 AM (Hy7dS)

128 Gabe is All-American Boy from Sky High.

Posted by: Larsen E. Whipsnade at February 07, 2014 11:22 AM (rXcBX)

129 112 Look, I raised $10 million for the Dem Convention. So what if I defaulted on the loan for money? I now got me this job as Sec. of Transportation, and I deserve it. Believe me, being Mayor of Charlotte fully qualifies me to deal with the nation's transportation. I've been on plenty of gravy trains.

Posted by: Anthony Foxx at February 07, 2014 11:22 AM (aDwsi)

130 I have no idea what a pimp looks like in real life.

Ugly.
http://is.gd/UdcZLU

Posted by: HR at February 07, 2014 11:22 AM (ZKzrr)

131

That could potentially be problematic if said phone call comes during the drinking times.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at February 07, 2014 03:15 PM (oFCZn)

Otherwise known as When A Moron Is Conscious.

Posted by: alexthechick - Come to us, oh mighty SMOD at February 07, 2014 03:20 PM (VtjlW)

Or unconscious, let's be fair. I'm sure there are more than a few members of the Horde who go to bed at night with an IV drip of bourbon plugged into their arm.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at February 07, 2014 11:23 AM (4df7R)

132 Been reading a bit about the Sept referendum in Scotland to declare independence. No mention of longbows or broadswords yet.

Let me know when Sophie Marceau shows up in a tent.

Posted by: Braveheart at February 07, 2014 11:23 AM (8ZskC)

133 What does knowledge or qualifications have to do with getting a job? I mean if we started using that Prezzy would have never gotten elected

Posted by: TheQuietMan at February 07, 2014 03:17 PM (1Jaio)

Has there ever been an Administration that so blatantly and shamelessly sold ambassadorships? To totally unqualified lickspittles?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 07, 2014 11:23 AM (pFqpP)

134 really? wow Yes, really. I'd guess they don't look like a '70s blacksploitation movie pimp, but I don't know.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at February 07, 2014 11:23 AM (o4Xc4)

135 No mention of longbows or ~~broadswords~~ claymores yet. FIFY

Posted by: Anthony Foxx at February 07, 2014 11:24 AM (aDwsi)

136 I have a mostly empty Bear shaped Honey Jar that we could use for Andy or JohnE.

Posted by: garrett at February 07, 2014 11:24 AM (iUMdy)

137

I have no idea what a pimp looks like in real life.

Your average Bears fan.

Posted by: Larsen E. Whipsnade at February 07, 2014 11:24 AM (rXcBX)

138 Has there ever been an Administration that so blatantly and shamelessly sold ambassadorships? To totally unqualified lickspittles?

Um, I know. Like, totally.

Posted by: Caroline Kennedy at February 07, 2014 11:24 AM (8ZskC)

139 I have no idea what a pimp looks like in real life. Your average Bears fan. Posted by: Larsen E. Whipsnade at February 07, 2014 03:24 PM (rXcBX) Navycopjoe is a pimp!?!

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at February 07, 2014 11:25 AM (PYAXX)

140 Has there ever been an Administration that so blatantly and shamelessly sold ambassadorships? To totally unqualified lickspittles? Posted by: Alberta ---------------------------- I'm pretty sure you meant 'ball lickers', or 'throne sniffers', but maybe not.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at February 07, 2014 11:25 AM (aDwsi)

141 Better only call on a weeknight and even then the odds aren't in your favor.

Posted by: Everyday Moron at February 07, 2014 11:25 AM (Aif/5)

142 Actually what is the funny is when Gabe has to go-- "Gawd damn it Ace!"

Posted by: tasker at February 07, 2014 11:25 AM (RJMhd)

143 We could get a Clark Cub Doll for Gabe, too?

Posted by: garrett at February 07, 2014 11:25 AM (iUMdy)

144

I'd guess they don't look like a '70s blacksploitation movie pimp, but I don't know.[/]

Some of them look like '70s Harvey Keitel.

Posted by: Taxi Driver at February 07, 2014 11:25 AM (A0sHn)

145 Pimpin' is as pimpin' does. Or so I've been told.

Posted by: Turnip Defense League [/i] at February 07, 2014 11:26 AM (O7Q1u)

146 137 Your average Bears fan. you have that wrong we're the one's getting screwed on sundays

Posted by: navycopjoe at February 07, 2014 11:26 AM (At8tV)

147 Has there ever been an Administration that so blatantly and shamelessly sold ambassadorships? To totally unqualified lickspittles? ---------------------------- I am NOT a 'lickspittle'..., whatever that is. I'm ..., well..., something else.

Posted by: Caroline Kennedy at February 07, 2014 11:27 AM (aDwsi)

148 "Pimp" is so judgmental. I prefer "Vagina Distribution Logistics Professional."

Posted by: Roscoe the Pimp at February 07, 2014 11:27 AM (8ZskC)

149

Forget pimps. Your average hooker isn't exactly a looker.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at February 07, 2014 11:27 AM (4df7R)

150 How incompetent do you have to be to be unqualified to be a lickspittle?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at February 07, 2014 11:27 AM (PYAXX)

151 you have that wrong we're the one's getting screwed on sundays ::Spits out drink::

Posted by: Raiderfan at February 07, 2014 11:28 AM (Hy7dS)

152 So you did find some after all? Posted by: EC at February 07, 2014 03:11 PM (GQ8sn) Box of 50, $100. Just what I need. Speaking of that Gun show in CLT 15th and 16th. They will probably be in Triangle area also.

Posted by: Nip Sip at February 07, 2014 11:28 AM (0FSuD)

153 How incompetent do you have to be to be unqualified to be a lickspittle?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at February 07, 2014 03:27 PM (PYAXX)

You know how to drool, but not how to clean it up?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at February 07, 2014 11:28 AM (4df7R)

154 you have that wrong
we're the one's getting screwed on sundays

Posted by: navycopjoe at February 07, 2014 03:26 PM (At8tV

It's hard for a pimp out there or for that matter a Bears fan.

Posted by: Larsen E. Whipsnade at February 07, 2014 11:29 AM (rXcBX)

155 You know how to drool, but not how to clean it up? Posted by: MWR ------------------ Drool first, lick second. They know, they know.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at February 07, 2014 11:29 AM (aDwsi)

156 149 Your average hooker isn't exactly a looker depends on location Waikiki ho's are pretty hot the ho's in British Columbia back in the day were smoking!!! ....or so I was told of course

Posted by: navycopjoe at February 07, 2014 11:30 AM (At8tV)

157 you have that wrong we're the one's getting screwed on sundaysPosted Show the Judge, on the Clark Cub Doll, where the mean lady touched you.

Posted by: garrett at February 07, 2014 11:30 AM (iUMdy)

158

>>>>I'd guess they don't look like a '70s blacksploitation movie pimp, but I don't know.

WRONG

Posted by: Bigby's Frostbitten Hands at February 07, 2014 11:30 AM (3ZtZW)

159 Forget pimps. Your average hooker isn't exactly a looker. Yeah, those I've seen on COPS. Broken-down meth-heads, the poor dears. It's funny when a cop goes undercover as a hooker on that show. They have to black out a few teeth because no hooker has all her teeth.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at February 07, 2014 11:30 AM (o4Xc4)

160 How incompetent do you have to be to be unqualified to be a lickspittle?

In Peruvia you have to be a popinjay even to qualify for consideration. It's a sad state of affairs when Peruvia has more stringent ambassador qualifications than America has.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at February 07, 2014 11:30 AM (8ZskC)

161 The podcast is awesome.

Keep up the good work.

Posted by: aquaviva at February 07, 2014 11:31 AM (wFinq)

162 I'm not as well acqainted with this aspect, but I can't recall any case where a person is compensated any where near the value. No matter what the confiscated property is. Posted by: Azenogoth (Freedom or Fire) at February 07, 2014 03:09 PM (LJpVo) like your cash, for instance.

Posted by: BignJames at February 07, 2014 11:31 AM (ZNQKl)

163 Isn't a podcast supposed to be aimed at whales?

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at February 07, 2014 11:32 AM (LLfr9)

164 159 we have a ho in the building who parks next to us insanely hot black chick who owns 5 condos in Waikiki at 25yo

Posted by: navycopjoe at February 07, 2014 11:32 AM (At8tV)

165 I did something. real stupid. I had to go a couple of mountain.towns today so as I was approaching one it seemed a good idea to pull into the parking lot of a Mexican restaurant where I sometimes have lunch and snarf a chimichanga. I did not know the restaurant had gone out of business and that nobody plowed the parking lot. I'm stuck like a fly on flypaper.

Posted by: WalrusRex at February 07, 2014 11:32 AM (pkL1X)

166 the ho's in British Columbia back in the day were smoking!!! When I lived in Ottawa there was a woman who stood on the main street nearby hitching a ride. She was there for weeks, and nobody would give her a ride! She looked very very very plain.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at February 07, 2014 11:32 AM (o4Xc4)

167 like your cash, for instance. Which they can take as evidence that you were "planning to commit" a crime. Not even a specific crime or type of crime. Simply having enough cash on your person is, apparently, evidence that you were planning on committing some crime somewhere at some time.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at February 07, 2014 11:32 AM (PYAXX)

168 bonhomme, well played. Anybody catch the Kerry/Bush aftershave reference?

When I am out working the old log-splitter, people will walk right up and ask if it's worth it to get your own firewood. I like to tell them that there are two things in life that I've never paid for, and firewood is one of them.

And then, about half will ask what the other thing is. So I start the chainsaw.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at February 07, 2014 11:33 AM (xq1UY)

169 Isn't a podcast supposed to be aimed at whales? You are demerited 2 internets.

Posted by: eleven at February 07, 2014 11:33 AM (Hy7dS)

170 Gee willickers, you have to show the bitch your pimp-hand.

Posted by: butters stotch at February 07, 2014 11:33 AM (LLfr9)

171 I'm stuck like a fly on flypaper.

Posted by: WalrusRex at February 07, 2014 03:32 PM (pkL1X)

Uh-oh!

Any cat litter in the trunk? Something to shovel yourself out with? Any hardware stores nearby?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at February 07, 2014 11:33 AM (4df7R)

172

Republicans instead seem to want ..

One (living) person, one vote, one time (per election)

Former President Jimmy Carter tells a great story about how when he first entered politics in the Democrat-controlled Georgia Legislature, the first topic of debate was how long a dead person could vote after he/she died.

Posted by: Lois Lerner at February 07, 2014 11:34 AM (e8kgV)

173 I'm stuck like a fly on flypaper. You forgot the Kitty Litter, didn't you? Dubass.

Posted by: Red Forman at February 07, 2014 11:34 AM (iUMdy)

174 I heard something about pie. Is it too late?

Posted by: Meghan McCain, Tomorrow's Conservative Today at February 07, 2014 11:34 AM (8ZskC)

175 165 I did something. real stupid. I had to go a couple of mountain.towns today so as I was approaching one it seemed a good idea to pull into the parking lot of a Mexican restaurant where I sometimes have lunch and snarf a chimichanga. I did not know the restaurant had gone out of business and that nobody plowed the parking lot. I'm stuck like a fly on flypaper. Posted by: WalrusRex at February 07, 2014 03:32 PM (pkL1X) **************** Shit. Can you find a way to get some gravel under the tires?

Posted by: tasker at February 07, 2014 11:34 AM (RJMhd)

176

>>>insanely hot black chick who owns 5 condos in Waikiki at 25yo

Of course. She's related to the Hos. I'm sure Don left a pile o' cash somewhere

Posted by: Bigby's Frostbitten Hands at February 07, 2014 11:34 AM (3ZtZW)

177 You're a cop, Stringer? They get free coffee all the time.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at February 07, 2014 11:35 AM (LLfr9)

178 I saw someone use a tarp under their tires once.

Posted by: tasker at February 07, 2014 11:35 AM (RJMhd)

179 >>>Dubass.

Now that's funny!

Posted by: Turnip Defense League [/i] at February 07, 2014 11:35 AM (O7Q1u)

180 Posted by: WalrusRex at February 07, 2014 03:32 PM (pkL1X) This is me *totally* not laughing at your pain. If the above suggestions don't work, maybe some old dude on viagra will drive by in his pickup hauling a horse trailer, and he'll let you hitch his horses up to your car.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at February 07, 2014 11:36 AM (PYAXX)

181 What the hell is going on at ebay? "You czar what you wear"? WTF?

Posted by: mrp at February 07, 2014 11:36 AM (JBggj)

182 Clark Cub

*chortle*

Posted by: HR at February 07, 2014 11:36 AM (ZKzrr)

183 Someone fetch the Canadians--they might know some other options.

Posted by: tasker at February 07, 2014 11:36 AM (RJMhd)

184

>>>I'm stuck like a fly on flypaper.

I'm sure you're doing all of this, but: Low gear, easy on the gas, rocking it?

Posted by: Bigby's Frostbitten Hands at February 07, 2014 11:37 AM (3ZtZW)

185 >>>I'm stuck like a fly on flypaper. I'm sure you're doing all of this, but: Low gear, easy on the gas, rocking it? If that doesn't work, trey sticking your tongue to something metal.

Posted by: garrett at February 07, 2014 11:38 AM (iUMdy)

186 Is this snow, ice, slush? Ditch or level?

Posted by: Bigby's Frostbitten Hands at February 07, 2014 11:38 AM (3ZtZW)

187 Can you fashion some kind of rudimentary lathe?

Posted by: eleven at February 07, 2014 11:38 AM (Hy7dS)

188 Also: What kind of car?

Posted by: Bigby's Frostbitten Hands at February 07, 2014 11:39 AM (3ZtZW)

189 Do you have bubblegum and a matchstick?

Posted by: MacGyver at February 07, 2014 11:39 AM (hBNxo)

190 Try drinking your urine.

Posted by: Bear Gryls at February 07, 2014 11:39 AM (iUMdy)

191 Assume a tow truck.

Posted by: An Economist at February 07, 2014 11:40 AM (UAMVq)

192 Do you have a phone and a pen?

Posted by: Barack Hussein Obama at February 07, 2014 11:40 AM (iUMdy)

193 They released surveillance footage of the shooting at the theatre in Florida. It puts an interesting spin on things.

Posted by: Adam at February 07, 2014 11:40 AM (Aif/5)

194 I did something. real stupid. I had to go a couple of mountain.towns today so as I was approaching one it seemed a good idea to pull into the parking lot of a Mexican restaurant where I sometimes have lunch and snarf a chimichanga. I did not know the restaurant had gone out of business and that nobody plowed the parking lot. I'm stuck like a fly on flypaper. Posted by: WalrusRex at February 07, 2014 03:32 PM (pkL1X) In many ways, this is the story of Obama.

Posted by: garrett at February 07, 2014 11:40 AM (iUMdy)

195 I did something. real stupid. I had to go a couple of
mountain.towns today so as I was approaching one it seemed a good idea to pull into the parking lot of a Mexican restaurant where I sometimes have lunch and snarf a chimichanga. I did not know the restaurant had gone out of business and that nobody plowed the parking lot. I'm stuck like a fly on flypaper.

Posted by: WalrusRex at February 07, 2014 03:32 PM (pkL1X)

Got a convenience store nearby? Get a gallon or two of bleach, and pour on the treads of your car's drive wheels. It makes the rubber very sticky, and traction improves a lot. Old drag racers' trick.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 07, 2014 11:40 AM (pFqpP)

196

I did something. real stupid. I had to go a couple of
mountain.towns today so as I was approaching one it seemed a good idea to pull into the parking lot of a Mexican restaurant where I sometimes have lunch and snarf a chimichanga. I did not know the restaurant had gone out of business and that nobody plowed the parking lot. I'm stuck like a fly on flypaper.

Send up smoke signals?

Posted by: Infidel at February 07, 2014 11:41 AM (Z1SI2)

197 like your cash, for instance. Which they can take as evidence that you were "planning to commit" a crime. Not even a specific crime or type of crime. Simply having enough cash on your person is, apparently, evidence that you were planning on committing some crime somewhere at some time. Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at February 07, 2014 03:32 PM (PYAXX) Prepping for the future, when having cash, or any assets at all, will be a crime against the state.

Posted by: BignJames at February 07, 2014 11:41 AM (ZNQKl)

198 All you need is love.

Posted by: Pahn McLennon at February 07, 2014 11:41 AM (hBNxo)

199 >>178 I saw someone use a tarp under their tires once. Just a tarp or did it have something wrapped in it?

Posted by: Aviator at February 07, 2014 11:41 AM (DI+ja)

200 Get all the men and dogs out of the truck before Spring.

Posted by: Ernest Shackleton at February 07, 2014 11:41 AM (8ZskC)

201 I'm sure you're doing all of this, but: Low gear, easy on the gas, rocking it? If you get really desperate, let a little air out of the tires that send power to the ground and put your floormats under the tires. You'll probably destroy the floormats, but like I said, desperate.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at February 07, 2014 11:41 AM (9PrpA)

202 193 They released surveillance footage of the shooting at the theatre in Florida. It puts an interesting spin on things. Posted by: Adam at February 07, 2014 03:40 PM (Aif/5) Link?

Posted by: Insomniac at February 07, 2014 11:41 AM (UAMVq)

203 Okay, so you go to Wal-Mart and buy a tarp, a telescoping pole, several ropes, and a Dr. Pepper...

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at February 07, 2014 11:42 AM (PYAXX)

204 Get all the men and dogs out of the truck before Spring.

I got recipes.

Posted by: Roald Amundsen at February 07, 2014 11:42 AM (ZKzrr)

205 Make an ice sculpture of Andie McDowell's face.

Posted by: Phil Connor at February 07, 2014 11:42 AM (8ZskC)

206 This is silly, but I can't bring myself to listen to the podcasts. In part, it's because I'd need to find a chunk of time. But it's also because I'd rather not have my illusions about my favorite pixelated people shattered by hearing their voices. It'd kill it for me if Ace sounded more like Truman Capote than like Clint Eastwood.

Posted by: Y-not at February 07, 2014 11:43 AM (zDsvJ)

207 Put off the 2014 elections until next year.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at February 07, 2014 11:43 AM (juDHN)

208 Link? ----- Fox may have it on the web, they just showed it on tv. The guy came up to the old man, got in his face and then threw the old mans popcorn in his face. His reaction of pulling the gun out and shooting was instantaneous.

Posted by: Adam at February 07, 2014 11:43 AM (Aif/5)

209 Do you have a young priest and an old priest?

Posted by: garrett at February 07, 2014 11:43 AM (iUMdy)

210 Anybody watching this BBC mini series on Ian Fleming? Boring and kinky. Fleming is an asshole and Ann, his future wife is a slut. And she likes to be spanked. And by spanked, I mean spanked -- hard. And possibly anal, too.

Posted by: Judge Pug at February 07, 2014 11:43 AM (NRYdU)

211 Someone fetch the Canadians--they might know some other options.
Do you have any virgins nearby to sacrifice to the Snow Gods?

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at February 07, 2014 11:44 AM (LLfr9)

212 It'd kill it for me if Ace sounded more like Truman Capote than like Clint Eastwood. You want Clint Eastwood. You'd take Truman Capote. You'll get TFG.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at February 07, 2014 11:44 AM (PYAXX)

213 Pickled Ewoks make good traction mats.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 07, 2014 11:44 AM (pFqpP)

214 Nah srsly most of the time you can get by if you just gear it down to 3 or L or whatever then go light on the gas.

Posted by: Bigby's Frostbitten Hands at February 07, 2014 11:44 AM (3ZtZW)

215 190 Try drinking your urine. Posted by: Bear Gryls at February 07, 2014 03:39 PM (iUMdy) ********** Pee on the ground near your tires. Buy a six pack.

Posted by: tasker at February 07, 2014 11:44 AM (RJMhd)

216 CUPERTINO, Calif.Â— Apple Inc. has bought $14 billion of its own shares in the two weeks since reporting financial results that disappointed Wall Street, Chief Executive Tim Cook said in an interview.

Mr. Cook said Apple was "surprised" by the 8% decline in its shares on Jan. 28, the day after it reported lower iPhone sales than projected and warned that revenue in the current quarter might decline from the same period a year ago. Mr. Cook said he wanted to be "aggressive" and "opportunistic."

With the latest purchases, Mr. Cook said Apple had bought back more than $40 billion of its shares over the past 12 months, which Mr. Cook said was a record for any company over a similar span.

"It means that we are betting on Apple. It means that we are really confident on what we are doing and what we plan to do," said Mr. Cook, speaking in a conference room at the company's corporate headquarters here. "We're not just saying that. We're showing that with our actions."

Posted by: Steve Jobs at February 07, 2014 11:44 AM (e8kgV)

217 Andy, how about a transcript of the podcast. You wouldn't mind typing it up, would you?

Thanks Buddy.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at February 07, 2014 11:44 AM (IN7k+)

218 This could get interesting.

Posted by: The Donner Party at February 07, 2014 11:45 AM (A0sHn)

219 Tractor fail compilation. video.
Oh My!

Posted by: J. U. Pavik at February 07, 2014 11:45 AM (T0S3Y)

220 Buy US Treasury Notes, they are great for traction!

Posted by: Ben Bernanke at February 07, 2014 11:45 AM (iUMdy)

221 Put off the 2014 elections until next year.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at February 07, 2014 03:43 PM (juDHN)

How is that going to help WalrusRex get out of the snow?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at February 07, 2014 11:45 AM (4df7R)

222 Put fireworks under the truck.

Posted by: NBC Dateline at February 07, 2014 11:46 AM (8ZskC)

223 Do you have any virgins nearby to sacrifice to the Snow Gods?

Posted by: andycanuck at February 07, 2014 03:44 PM (LLfr9)

Even if so, he's not near any active volcanoes.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at February 07, 2014 11:46 AM (4df7R)

224 How is that going to help WalrusRex get out of the snow?

Global Warming!

Posted by: HR at February 07, 2014 11:46 AM (ZKzrr)

225 Buy US Treasury Notes, they are great for traction! US Treasury Notes are approximately the same value as kitty litter. Kitty litter is good for traction. QED- US Treasury Notes are good for traction!

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at February 07, 2014 11:46 AM (PYAXX)

226

Pee on the ground near your tires.

Buy a six pack.

Posted by: tasker at February 07, 2014 03:44 PM (RJMhd)

Not necessarily in that order. But not necessarily not either.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at February 07, 2014 11:47 AM (4df7R)

227 Is there a horse nearby? It might not pull the truck out but you could fuck it while you wait.

Posted by: Andrew Mendoza, Horse Whisperer at February 07, 2014 11:47 AM (8ZskC)

228 Pickled Ewoks make good traction mats.
The secret is in the fur.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at February 07, 2014 11:47 AM (LLfr9)

229 As far as CAC goes. Try to schedule him a week during full moon. Moon was first quarter this week. We was out. jk Have just started listening to the podcast in the past couple months. I know many give y'all (Gabe, check the spelling g of a good ole southern boy here) grief but I enjoy listening during commute to work on weekends. Thanks.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at February 07, 2014 11:47 AM (/djtm)

230 >>>I'm stuck like a fly on flypaper.

Posted by: WalrusRex at February 07, 2014 03:32 PM (pkL1X)<<<

Don't worry. We're coming to rescue you.
.
.
.
Uh. Uh oh...

Posted by: Chinese rescue ship at February 07, 2014 11:48 AM (R5Pm3)

231 Take the arms and legs off of the dead hookers in the trunk and lay them out in front of the drive wheels.

Posted by: garrett at February 07, 2014 11:48 AM (iUMdy)

232 Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at February 07, 2014 03:46 PM (4df7R) Okay, so get a virgin to sacrifice to the snow gods. Then, to substitute for a live volcano, get one of those dunk-tank thingies, about a ton of baking soda, and a couple-hundred gallons of vinegar...

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at February 07, 2014 11:48 AM (PYAXX)

233 227 Is there a horse nearby? It might not pull the truck out but you could fuck it while you wait. Posted by: Andrew Mendoza, Horse Whisperer at February 07, 2014 03:47 PM (8ZskC) OMG, I am so going to hell for laughing as hard as I did!

Posted by: Insomniac at February 07, 2014 11:49 AM (UAMVq)

234 Sorry, WR, I should've warned you.

Posted by: Admiral Ackbar at February 07, 2014 11:49 AM (hBNxo)

235 Kitty litter.

Posted by: Hobbitopoly at February 07, 2014 11:49 AM (fk1A8)

236 226 Pee on the ground near your tires. Buy a six pack. Posted by: tasker at February 07, 2014 03:44 PM (RJMhd) Not necessarily in that order. But not necessarily not either. Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at February 07, 2014 03:47 PM (4df7R) ******** Ha! True. ******** WalrusRex-- Look out back of the restaurant --they might have some cardboard boxes you can rip apart and get under the tires for traction.

Posted by: tasker at February 07, 2014 11:50 AM (RJMhd)

237 HorsefuckerSock Wins All

Posted by: garrett at February 07, 2014 11:50 AM (iUMdy)

238 What's your latitude and longitude?

Posted by: MV Akademik Shokalskiy at February 07, 2014 11:50 AM (8ZskC)

239 Well, seeing as the Mexican restaurant is closed, you might as well order a pizza, and ask the delivery guy to bring a tow rope if he wants to earn a great tip.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 07, 2014 11:50 AM (pFqpP)

240 Okay... first, build a large wooden badger...

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at February 07, 2014 11:51 AM (PYAXX)

241

Kitty litter

I believe everything J.K. Simmons says, too. He could be selling left-handed farts and I'd buy one.

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at February 07, 2014 11:51 AM (A0sHn)

242 Only a few days ago Russia threatened to quit the START talks as the U.S. deployed an Aegis anti-ballistic missile ship to Spain. All on the back pages, yet taken together one can adventure the thought that a comprehensive failure has overtaken the foreign policy of Barack Obama. The irony is that Obama campaigned on the platform of Â“smart diplomacy.Â” But as things have turned out, he was smart only in his own mind.

Under his watch the 70-year-old Pax Americana has fallen apart. Al-Qaeda has flourished. President Benigno Aquino of the Philippines caught the tone of rising concern when he warned, in an interview with the New York Times, that China was doing to Southeast Asia what Nazi Germany did to Central Europe in the late 1930s. Â“At what point do you say, Â‘Enough is enoughÂ’? Well, the world has to say it Â— remember that the Sudetenland was given in an attempt to appease Hitler to prevent World War II.Â”

But you wouldnÂ’t know it for the panegyrics still being sung by the mainstream media. To read some papers you would think the worldÂ’s biggest problem was gay rights at the Sochi Olympics.

The Sudetenland? Things are not as bad as that yet. But the operative word is Â“yet.Â” Someone Â— perhaps the elders of the Democratic Party Â— have got to put some competence back in the White House. Someone needs to stop the rot. An administration too inept to roll out a website; too obtuse to do much more than watch a US consulate burned by Â— dare we say it? Â— video protesters Â— such an administration may be overmatched in a contest of brinksmanship with a rival nuclear power.

Barack Obama is in trouble and so are we all. ItÂ’s time to stop the Happy Talk and for Republicans and Democrats to face the facts. The emperor has no clothes.

Posted by: Philander C. Knox at February 07, 2014 11:51 AM (e8kgV)

243 Don't panic. Do you have your towel?

Posted by: eleven at February 07, 2014 11:51 AM (Hy7dS)

244 I'm stuck like a fly on flypaper.

Bring up the command interface and type "/stuck".

Posted by: Hollowpoint at February 07, 2014 11:51 AM (SY2Kh)

245 You don't have your dog with you there by any chance, do you?

'Cause we could swing by.

Posted by: SWAT Team at February 07, 2014 11:51 AM (GQ8sn)

246 >> I have suggested a 'Phone a Moron' segment. Yeh, but people don't want to give out their *real* phone numbers, so... Okay, first we have a contest for a free burner phone. Oh, but we need a real address to mail it to. Okay, first we have a contest for a Mailboxes USA box. Then, a burn phone contest. Then finally, call a moron. #twoweeks

Posted by: Mama AJ at February 07, 2014 11:51 AM (SUKHu)

247 Video of the Florida theater old man rage-out shooting: http://preview.tinyurl.com/lcnywkv No blood or gore. The shooter is the one sitting right? If so, the victim grabbed the old man's popcorn and threw it at his face. The old man drew and fired almost immediately. That's what I see.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b][/s][/s] at February 07, 2014 11:52 AM (44jNh)

248 It'd kill it for me if Ace sounded more like Truman Capote than like Clint Eastwood. Posted by: Y-not at February 07, 2014 03:43 PM (zDsvJ) He's more of a Paul Lynd.

Posted by: Judge Pug at February 07, 2014 11:52 AM (NRYdU)

249 Whatever you do, don't insult any Eskimos.

Posted by: Canadian Human Rights Commission at February 07, 2014 11:53 AM (8ZskC)

250 133 ----Has there ever been an Administration that so blatantly and shamelessly sold ambassadorships? To totally unqualified lickspittles? Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at February 07, 2014 03:23 PM (pFqpP) ------------------------- No. To be sure, there's a long tradition of giving political donors ambassadorships, but the process is selective. For sensitive, critical jobs, you send knowledgeable pros, not donors. For mostly ceremonial ones in plum locations with a big, professional support staff ---Paris, anyone?--- you send a donor, but one who knows French and how to eat escargot. For donors who are twits and can't speak a foreign language, you've always got assignments like Barbados and San Marino, which are great places to live and of no importance whatsoever.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at February 07, 2014 11:53 AM (dfYL9)

251 I'm stuck like a fly on flypaper.

Where exactly are you? Just curious.

Posted by: Giant Snow Spider at February 07, 2014 11:53 AM (SY2Kh)

252 Stuck in the snow, Ah, how that brings back memories.

Posted by: J. U. Pavik at February 07, 2014 11:53 AM (T0S3Y)

253 Posted by: Mama AJ at February 07, 2014 03:51 PM (SUKHu) Easier- Set up a google-voice number for AoSHQ. When you've selected your Moron, give them the keys to that account. They set up google-voice to call their phone. The podcasters call the google-voice number. After the call, the moron goes and deletes their real phone number, and then the podcasters go and change the locks.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at February 07, 2014 11:53 AM (PYAXX)

254

>>>Yeh, but people don't want to give out their *real* phone numbers, so...

Do a Google Voice number. One number for All Teh Morons. Like a timeshare or something

Posted by: Bigby's Frostbitten Hands at February 07, 2014 11:54 AM (3ZtZW)

255 At least the Game of Thrones series has taken a bold stand on crossbows. They take too long to load, apparently.

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at February 07, 2014 11:54 AM (iQxYV)

256 This is truly crushing, as I've become addicted to the podcasts. It's my Friday reward to replace 1-1/2 hours of the insipid milquetoast of the Michael Medved show, with the added benefit of being an even lazier way to read AoSHQ -- without actually having to read! I'd prefer a 3hr daily show, myself.

The podcast > any talk radio show in existence. That's math, bitches, and math don't lie. Where on the radio can you hear four letter words, Gabe and Drew bitching at each other, and Ace getting nuanced in defense of Ezra Klein, Matt Yglesias and Hitler?

Posted by: Bivalve Curious at February 07, 2014 11:55 AM (aGqSh)

257 Posted by: Bigby's Frostbitten Hands at February 07, 2014 03:54 PM (3ZtZW) Jinx! Okay, all- off to code review. Yay.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at February 07, 2014 11:55 AM (PYAXX)

258 Oh, wait, I didn't account for getting WalrusRex out of the snow. #threeweeks

Posted by: Mama AJ at February 07, 2014 11:55 AM (SUKHu)

259 New thread. Ace with the Bane. Thankfully it is not oral.

Posted by: tasker at February 07, 2014 11:55 AM (RJMhd)

260 Pee on the ground near your tires.

Buy a six pack. >>

Then sit in the car with the keys in the ignition and honk the horn. And tomorrow you can retrieve it from the impound lot. Which is where the cops will take it after they arrest you for DUI.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at February 07, 2014 11:56 AM (tf9Ne)

261 You laugh at Barbados not being of importance, but wait until Charles III runs out of sterling and takes to piracy again

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at February 07, 2014 11:56 AM (iQxYV)

262

Do you have salt?

It's useless for melting snow, but we're out of seasoning.

Posted by: The Donner Party at February 07, 2014 11:56 AM (A0sHn)

263 It'd kill it for me if Ace sounded more like Truman Capote than like Clint Eastwood. Posted by: Y-not at February 07, 2014 03:43 PM (zDsvJ) The you'll be glad you didn't listen to lasts week. I'm not sure what kind of voice he was trying to use, but it was disturbing. I like listening to them. I usually put in the earbuds and listen while I walk the dog or even do some work around the house. It would be nice to have them broken into 1/2 hour chunks, because if I have to make or take a call, I lose my place & have have to try to find it.

Posted by: shredded chi - cereal killer at February 07, 2014 11:57 AM (jRs7b)

264 Crispy Tortilla Come, My Deep Fried Desire Free Me from Snowbank

Posted by: Chimichanga Fail Haiku at February 07, 2014 11:57 AM (iUMdy)

265 Ok, so the Mexican restaurant is outta business... that's no biggie, Mexicans are tough to eat.

Try to find some Uruguayan rugby players nearby that you can munch on. That'll get you through.

Posted by: Andes plane crash survivors at February 07, 2014 11:58 AM (R5Pm3)

266 Good grief, I was first!!

And now, last.

Just like life.

Heavy...

Posted by: PJ at February 07, 2014 12:01 PM (ZWaLo)

267 I have no idea whatsoever how it could be addressed, but I can't tell who's speaking when. Well, except for when Ace is doing impressions.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at February 07, 2014 12:03 PM (DmNpO)

268 I did my first podcast in 2003 (?) at a bar in Massachusetts, during a snowstorm, the day I had returned from a week in New Orleans. It was epic, but the guy who ran the site for which it was produced never posted it. It exists only in my memory, and the memory of the poster Deseeded, who used to come here once in a while. He was there. Nearly a fistfight at halftime, definitely some shoving.

Posted by: Lincolntf at February 07, 2014 12:05 PM (ZshNr)

269 Willow

Posted by: pj at February 07, 2014 04:12 PM (ZWaLo)

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