April 10, 2014

Great: Leftist Crank David Letterman to be Replaced by Leftist Crank Stephen Colbert
— Ace

You know, the racist.

Stephen Colbert, the host of Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report," will succeed David Letterman as the host of "The Late Show," CBS Corp. CBS -2.52% announced on Thursday.


CBS said in a statement that it had signed a five-year agreement with Mr. Colbert to take over its flagship show when Mr. Letterman retires next year.

Mr. Colbert will retire the character he plays on his Comedy Central show--a send-up of Republican talk-show hosts--and will be himself as the host of the CBS show, the company said.

Craig Ferguson meanwhile has what's apparently called a "Prince of Wales" clause that guarantees him the show upon Letterman's retirement. However, that guarantee isn't solid; CBS can just pay a hefty penalty to him if they don't give him the show.

So I guess they'll be doing that, and I guess Ferguson becomes a free agent, and might just retire.

I imagined CBS might have trouble imagining Ferguson as an 11:30 host (although I'm not really sure there's such a terrific difference between an 11:30 show and a 12:30 one).

But then I don't see how you give Ferguson the middle finger in order to hire a different oddball with a narrow appeal and a weird vibe.

Ferguson's weird vibe is both more original and less alienating than Colbert's own weird vibe. Sure, Ferguson's show is essentially Pee Wee's Playhouse, as hosted by a recovering-alcoholic Scotsman. But the weirdness -- involving puppets, gay skeleton robots, and pantomime horses -- wasn't the sort of weirdness with an animus towards anyone.

Colbert says he'll be playing himself on the new show. Well, fine... but I've never seen Colbert play himself before. I've seen him play (very well, I have to admit) the strange homophobic gay history teacher Chuck Noblet on Strangers with Candy, and I've seen him play a strange mutant Bill-O'Reilly-As-Glimpsed-in-Progressive-Nightmares character on clips from the Colbert Report.

Basically I've seen him play a lot of strange characters. I assume there's a reason for that, that that's his metier.

What evidence does CBS have that the real Colbert will play with a large audience?

Okay, One Last Point: Sorry to be campaigning so hard for Ferguson, even after it's too late to matter.

But here you go.

An 11:30 host has been thought to need two things to succeed.

First, he had to be funny, obviously.

But more importantly -- remember, there are a lot of funny guys out there, and very few are asked to host an 11:30 talk show -- he had to be likable, "relatable" (as they say in Hollywood focus groups), and someone the audience had an easy feeling of rapport with.

This is part of the reason there was such a big tumult regarding the Leno vs. Letterman choice NBC made so long ago. Neither man seemed to have Johnny Carson's easy charm. Letterman was odd and often bitter in his humor; Leno was odd and often off-putting in his puppylike need to ingratiate.

Both men were clearly bored during most interviews.

If either man had had that Carson-like Relatability Factor, there would have been no controversy at all.

I don't know who Colbert is as a real person. I've seen him play the Chuck Noblet character and the Mutant Bill O'Reilly character. (And, by the way, the Mutant Bill O'Reilly character is more or less exactly like the Chuck Noblet character, except not gay.)

I have become a fanboy of Ferguson's, however, and not just because he's funny. Oh, the show is funny, sure. But I watch the show because he's likable, and he seems interesting.

So on the likability front, CBS has evidence that Ferguson has it. They have no such evidence (apart from, I guess, some impromptu "test interviews") that Colbert does.

Craig Ferguson Will Net $8 Million for Not Being Hired. $8 million penalty clause if he isn't hired to replace Letterman.

Chickenfeed, really. Letterman's deal with CBS (which NBC would have had to match clause-by-clause if NBC wanted to keep him) included a $50 million penalty clause if his show didn't air at 11:30. (That is, CBS intended to air it at 11:30, so had no problem writing in this huge penalty; but if NBC tried to match the contract (NBC had matching rights, the right to duplicate any third party contract and compel Letterman to sign with them instead of the third party), but keep Letterman on at 12:30, they would have had to pay him $50 million for the privilege.)

Now that I read a few articles (and commenters' posts), it does seem like Ferguson's ratings have taken a big hit, losing audience to Seth Meyers.

How that happened, I have no idea. Before the Fallon/Meyers debut (and I don't expect those high ratings to last), Ferguson's show was getting good ratings and he was building audience.

They Made the Right Choice: You can't top Big Funny like this.

“Simply being a guest on David Letterman’s show has been a highlight of my career,” Colbert said in a statement. “I never dreamed that I would follow in his footsteps, though everyone in late night follows Dave’s lead.”

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go grind a gap in my front teeth,” he quipped.

Bazinga.

It's possible Ferguson just didn't want the show that much. He's previously expressed equanimity about continuing on with his current show. (However, I suspect those expressions of reluctance were made at about the same time he was negotiating a new contract.)

Posted by: Ace at 08:31 AM | Comments (484)
Post contains 944 words, total size 6 kb.

1 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 10, 2014 08:32 AM (PYAXX)

2 So I can keep right on not watching Late Night.

Posted by: Mark in Sandy Ut at April 10, 2014 08:33 AM (xGX1p)

3 Ferguson would have been good. 

Posted by: rd at April 10, 2014 08:33 AM (D+lxs)

4 From one leftist douchebag to another. Time until his schtick becomes boring: 12 months max.

Posted by: joncelli at April 10, 2014 08:33 AM (RD7QR)

5 Comedy Central just got funnier.

Posted by: X at April 10, 2014 08:33 AM (KHo8t)

6 The only reason Colbert is "funny" to his audience is because he's a fake right winger. Without that, he's going to be even worse. Should've given it to the Scotsman.

Posted by: DarrenODaly at April 10, 2014 08:34 AM (bGmyh)

7 Yes, and you expected anything else? And the Korean whatsername will no doubt be his first guest.

Posted by: JEM at April 10, 2014 08:34 AM (o+SC1)

8 Well I haven't watched Letterman in well over a decade. So I guess I won't watch Colbert, either.

Posted by: blaster at April 10, 2014 08:34 AM (4+AaH)

9 Time until his schtick becomes boring: 12 months max.

His schtick became boring about the time I hit puberty.

Posted by: pep at April 10, 2014 08:34 AM (4nR9/)

10

Seriously, what did you expect?  This is CBS we're talking about...

 

You don't watch Letterman, you won't watch Colbert.  Let it go.

Posted by: RobM1981 at April 10, 2014 08:34 AM (dFemX)

11 CBS Corp. CBS -2.52%

Lol.

Posted by: HR at April 10, 2014 08:35 AM (ZKzrr)

12 Good. Now I don't have to avoid him when searching Comedy Central for South Park reruns.

Posted by: wth at April 10, 2014 08:35 AM (wAQA5)

13 Yeah, that #CancelColbert campaign didn't actually work out so well.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 08:36 AM (ZPrif)

14 Ferguson should skip the networks altogether and cut a deal with Netflix or Hulu or Amazon for a show. 

Posted by: Colorado Alex at April 10, 2014 08:36 AM (3x3F6)

15
Colbert isn't as reliable a leftist as Letterman by any means, but, yeah, he is annoying.

This seems like a really stupid choice, though. His schtick will get old really fast. He does his schtick really well, but he has no range outside of it.

Posted by: dan-O at April 10, 2014 08:36 AM (D0bIN)

16 I just don't see Colbert making it.

The smarmy part of his Colbert Report schtick was never an act.

I'll enjoy hearing about the flaming crash up.

Posted by: H Badger at April 10, 2014 08:36 AM (n/0Nw)

17 Ting tang ling bing hah so

Posted by: Burt Toste at April 10, 2014 08:36 AM (kUpEx)

18

And CBS will continue its slide into inanity. 

 

They peaked in the 1960's when they had Green Acres, Beverly Hillbillies and Petticoat Junction in primetime.  But that was "too rural" for the folks in Manhattan.  And everyone knows Manhattan is the center of the world. 

Posted by: rd at April 10, 2014 08:37 AM (D+lxs)

19 Oh, and he won't be able to resist relapsing into character either.

Posted by: joncelli at April 10, 2014 08:37 AM (RD7QR)

20 oh, geez, at least Letterman was funny years ago.

maybe they'll reconsider and give the job to Conan, at least he has experience taking Letterman's place

Posted by: mallfly at April 10, 2014 08:38 AM (bJm7W)

21 Colbert is a horrible interviewer. When he's wrong and called out on it, he goes twisted, cuts you off, or attacks, depending on who the guest is. And, he bows and drools with "superstars." He's weird. So, now we've got the same schtick that Stewart and he present - stupid faces, shrugs and dumb sounds. Unless he changes.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 10, 2014 08:38 AM (IXrOn)

22 I don't watch Colbert's lame assed bullshit now, and I will continue not to watch his lame assed Bullshit in the future.

Posted by: maddogg at April 10, 2014 08:38 AM (xWW96)

23 CBS is still on the air? Huh. I did not know that.

Posted by: shredded chi at April 10, 2014 08:39 AM (qXebp)

24 Tonight Show features QuestLove openly racist Black Nationalist and Communist as it's band leader. The equivalent would be hiring a talented musicians, who happened to be a proud White Nationalist and supporter of Nazism. Late night chat shows are hard left these days.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 08:39 AM (ZPrif)

25 Stop me if you've hear this one. 

Republicans are stupid.   Get it?

Posted by: Stephen Colbert at April 10, 2014 08:39 AM (4nR9/)

26 Well I haven't watched Letterman in well over a decade. So I guess I won't watch Colbert, either. I plan on not watching several times a week.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 10, 2014 08:39 AM (0HooB)

27 "Mr. Colbert will retire the character he plays on his Comedy Central show"

And, at least the Late Show isn't really about politics. So his potential to be partisan hack should be going down. As someone who never watches late night talk shows anyway, the only downside I see is that they've rewarded a tool for being a tool.

Posted by: red sweater at April 10, 2014 08:39 AM (oATMN)

28 I look forward to not watching it as much as the Colbert Report.

Posted by: no good deed at April 10, 2014 08:39 AM (ILBCY)

29 does he stay in character?

Posted by: california red at April 10, 2014 08:39 AM (7jrCM)

30 I suppose the bet is they will lure a different demo to that slot. Because he is certainly not a fit with Letterman's demo. To quote a phrase,  "That's a pretty big gamble to take with a $50 million dollar plane lieutenant".

Posted by: Marcus T. Throat Punching the shit out of the Progressive Mob at April 10, 2014 08:39 AM (GGCsk)

31

CBS is also changing the format of the Late Show.  It will now be known as: NCIS: Late Show.

 

 

Posted by: Colorado Alex at April 10, 2014 08:40 AM (3x3F6)

32 Colbert often had priests on his show (as he's a Catholic). I imagine that'll end PDQ on CBS. Frankly I think Colbert is typecast at this point. As soon as people see he's not doing the shtick anymore they'll tune out. I don't actually know what else he can do. Even his time on the daily show was a pretty similar shtick (bogus interviews and odd characters.) Plus he'll try to reclaim his "Cole-Bert" pronunciation (as he said he wanted to do when he retired the character) which won't end well either.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 10, 2014 08:40 AM (HDwDg)

33 Seems an odd choice. Has he ever broken character? I mean, I've never seen him do any sort of interview or anything when he's not doing the Colbert Report shtick. Does he stay in character for Late Night? Just seems odd.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 08:40 AM (da5Wo)

34 Meet the new douche.

Same as the old douche.

Posted by: Tex Lovera at April 10, 2014 08:40 AM (wtvvX)

35

People who might otherwise be expected to know these things were speculating last week, and nobody I heard said they believed Colbert would want it.

 

It's a different audience.  As much as Dave  used to be "cool" back in  the day, he's been a tired old foop for years now.  Does Colbert really want that?

 

I always figure people like him have cool cred they never earned, and it's the fact that they got placed in the right spot, at the right time that allowed them to acquire it.  Remove them from that spot, and they lose it.

 

 

Posted by: BurtTC at April 10, 2014 08:40 AM (TOk1P)

36 Ferguson is an appealing, if odd, sort of guy.

Colbert comes off as a pompous douchebag, and that worked on Comedy Central, but I doubt it will work on a network show.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 10, 2014 08:40 AM (QFxY5)

37 Colbert's whole fake right wing pundit schtick got old so fast I don't really understand how all the lefties could continue to watch and har-har at him.  It would be like watching a bombing SNL skit that never ended.

Posted by: Sphynx at April 10, 2014 08:40 AM (OZmbA)

38 The reports are that he won't be doing the Late Show as the O'Reilly impression, but as his normal self, right? I'm sure it'll still be a character he does at times.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 08:40 AM (ZPrif)

39 >>>This seems like a really stupid choice, though. His schtick will get old really fast. He does his schtick really well, but he has no range outside of it. that's a good way to put it. I did think he was funny on Strangers with Candy (which I think he co-created). But his comedy ranger seems pretty narrow. He does a specific thing well. And I don't know that that specific thing is funny anymore. All jokes run out of appeal eventually.

Posted by: ace at April 10, 2014 08:40 AM (/FnUH)

40

Mr. Colbert will retire the character he plays on his Comedy Central show--a send-up of Republican talk-show hosts--and will be himself as the host of the CBS show, the company said.

 

 

 

 

 

Sadly,  my mom will never  be able to distinguish the  difference.  Colbert and Stewart are her  TV news  sources.  le sigh

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 10, 2014 08:41 AM (BAS5M)

41 Craig Ferguson is hilarious.

steven colbert is pathetic.

So, that pretty much explains CBS' choice right there.

Posted by: Tex Lovera at April 10, 2014 08:41 AM (wtvvX)

42 I can't stand Colbert, or Letterman for that matter.  If Colbert does get the job, might be fun to watch if his first ever guest is that stupid bint who started the #CancelColbert idiocy. 

Posted by: Sharkman at April 10, 2014 08:41 AM (TM1p8)

43 Ferguson is the only one worth watching. And it appears that his guest enjoy being on his show with all of its quirky shticks, like the "awkward silence" bit.

Posted by: Lizzy at April 10, 2014 08:41 AM (gzJJ2)

44 Letterman degenerated into an asshole leftist. Colbert is not quite so leftist, and not as much of an asshole. This is an improvement.

Posted by: wooga at April 10, 2014 08:41 AM (AEy5L)

45 And speaking of racism, Drudge has a hilarious photo of Holder up now...

Posted by: Tex Lovera at April 10, 2014 08:41 AM (wtvvX)

46 Since I haven't actually seen the show since Johnny Carson hosted it, I really don't care.

Posted by: tangonine at April 10, 2014 08:41 AM (x3YFz)

47 31
CBS is also changing the format of the Late Show. It will now be known as: NCIS: Late Show.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at April 10, 2014 12:40 PM (3x3F6)

lol

Posted by: red sweater at April 10, 2014 08:42 AM (oATMN)

48 Colbert's whole fake right wing pundit schtick got old so fast I don't really understand how all the lefties could continue to watch and har-har at him. It would be like watching a bombing SNL skit that never ended.

They still respond like trained seals to Maher.  If they can do that, they can stand anything.

Posted by: pep at April 10, 2014 08:42 AM (4nR9/)

49 As much as Dave used to be "cool" back in the day, he's been a tired old foop for years now. Does Colbert really want that?

He's already that.

Posted by: HR at April 10, 2014 08:42 AM (ZKzrr)

50

I was sort of hoping that CBS would hire Leno. 

 

Can you imagine what would have happened after Jay goes to CBS and their rating go up 50%?  I would watch just to tweak the bitter old man. 

Posted by: rd at April 10, 2014 08:42 AM (D+lxs)

51 Colbert always plays the "observant Catholic" card when confronted with his hard left politics. In other words, he pulls a Pelosi.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 08:42 AM (ZPrif)

52 You mean to tell me that Colbert was acting? Playing a scripted part? I thought it was real!

Posted by: Smith! the Art Critic at April 10, 2014 08:42 AM (ORWoy)

53 So I guess they'll be doing that, and I guess Ferguson becomes a free agent, and might just retire. They just can't allow themselves to make the right decision. The left.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 10, 2014 08:43 AM (IXrOn)

54 >>Sadly, my mom will never be able to distinguish the difference. Colbert and Stewart are her TV news sources. le sigh Posted by: Count de Monet<<


Ours too!!!

Posted by: LIVs Everywhere at April 10, 2014 08:43 AM (OZmbA)

55 I see it being an epic failure.

I will admit Colbert is funny with his Bill O'Reilly schtick at times, but it's a very narrow character that he has excelled at.  Colbert as the funny mainstream comic?  Not seeing it.

It is absurd though that CBS feels completely comfortable with an out and out left wing comic as their showcase for Late Night.  The MSM doesn't even pretend anymore to not be in the tank for Left.

Posted by: McAdams at April 10, 2014 08:43 AM (x13zk)

56 @50: I'm sure Jay has a non-compete for at least a one-year period.

But after that?  Who knows....?

Posted by: Tex Lovera at April 10, 2014 08:43 AM (wtvvX)

57 Sure, Ferguson's show is essentially Pee Wee's Playhouse, as hosted by a recovering-alcoholic Scotsman.


No true Scotsman!


Posted by: EC at April 10, 2014 08:43 AM (GQ8sn)

58 What are the numbers of people who watch Colbert vs. Letterman?

I can tell you, some suit somewhere has said, "and we'll add all these CC viewers to the Late Show--boom! #1 baybee!"


Posted by: RoyalOil at April 10, 2014 08:43 AM (VjL9S)

59 I don't think Colbert knows that he has become his character. That is why he was so shocked when no one laughed at his Asian slur. It was not funny, it had no context, but it was Colbert. I doubt that he can sustain an adult audience for any length of time.

Posted by: pat at April 10, 2014 08:43 AM (KCg4m)

60 In other words, he pulls drops a Pelosi.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 12:42 PM (ZPrif)

Most of us do that in the morning, but i guess late at night will work too.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 10, 2014 08:44 AM (QFxY5)

61 Colbert. Is. Not. Fucking. Funny. He would not even be funny if I was a Liberal. (G-d forbid) He. Is. Not. Funny.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 10, 2014 08:44 AM (7ObY1)

62 Isn't the big question whether Fox will get into the late night chat show game?

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 08:44 AM (ZPrif)

63 46Since I haven't actually seen the show since Johnny Carson hosted it, I really don't care.

Posted by: tangonine at April 10, 2014 12:41 PM (x3YFz)

?

Posted by: maddogg at April 10, 2014 08:44 AM (xWW96)

64 Y'see, for me CBS is the network that ran a segment on '60 Minutes' three decades ago where they allowed a plaintiff's attorney to show an Audi 5000 whose transmission hydraulics had been internally replumbed to pull the throttle open via the throttle-valve cable, as proof of 'unintended acceleration'. This was long before NBC set fire to a GM pickup with model rocket motors. I'm not a very trusting sort.

Posted by: JEM at April 10, 2014 08:45 AM (o+SC1)

65 CBS?  Never heard of it.

Posted by: Charles Gibson at April 10, 2014 08:45 AM (BAS5M)

66 >> But then I don't see how you give Ferguson the middle finger in order to hire a different oddball with a narrow appeal and a weird vibe

Also, even if we consider Ferguson's oddball comedy and Colbert's oddball comedy to be equally niche and have equal appeal (or lack thereof), you have to consider what there is left beyond that.

At least with Ferguson, he has a genuine nice-guy appeal. He seems like someone you would want to have a beer with. Like Leno.

Colbert? He is a clown; a caricature. He may be funny, but nobody ever thinks: "Man, that would be fun to hang out with him".

Posted by: dan-O at April 10, 2014 08:45 AM (D0bIN)

67 So I guess that Cancel Colbert thing worked out then?

Posted by: brak at April 10, 2014 08:45 AM (iEoiA)

68 And I see that Arsenio has a show again. Where and when is that even showing?

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 08:45 AM (ZPrif)

69 Posted by: ace at April 10, 2014 12:40 PM (/FnUH) Since I'm a fan of self-deprecating humor, I'm fairly open Colbert's particular shtick, but even I've grown tired of. At best I can watch a show every few months now, but that's it.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 10, 2014 08:45 AM (HDwDg)

70 Another White Guy replaced by another White Guy.

Posted by: NPR at April 10, 2014 08:45 AM (jfUIE)

71 I didn't watch Letterman or Colbert because they were both stupid and spiked my BP. I don't think my habits are going to change.

Posted by: Gmac-Pondering the coming implosion, and hoping its 404care at April 10, 2014 08:45 AM (baiNQ)

72 CBS decided to try to grab some of the coveted "18 to 34" demographic with another hip leftist who is only funny to those "in on the joke" as it were I predict a large drop in both Fallon and Colbert's ratings. Hell, I think Fallon is already seeing a scary drop since he's starting to do the unthinkable and mock Obama. The 18 to 34 demo seems to mainly tune in at the end of these shows to see their favorite douche hipster bands perform on the show

Posted by: kbdabear at April 10, 2014 08:46 AM (aTXUx)

73 Ill bet Colbert wasn't their first choice and might not have even been their second choice.

Posted by: MTF at April 10, 2014 08:46 AM (1Boes)

74 Sure, Ferguson's show is essentially Pee Wee's Playhouse, as hosted by a recovering-alcoholic Scotsman. Redundancy.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 10, 2014 08:46 AM (xZxMD)

75 Instead of Colbert playing himself, CBS should get Kate Upton and have her play with herself. I'd watch.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 10, 2014 08:46 AM (8ZskC)

76 Chuck **Knoblet**.

Posted by: DRH at April 10, 2014 08:46 AM (xFoDt)

77 Chat shows are cheap and get decent ratings. There's tons of them.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 08:46 AM (ZPrif)

78 They all suck.  Wanna hear one of my songs?

Posted by: Steve Allen at April 10, 2014 08:46 AM (4nR9/)

79 O/T: There's a student in my lab today wearing the Three Wolf Moon t-shirt.  Thought you'd get a chuckle out of that.

Posted by: chemjeff at April 10, 2014 08:47 AM (dBV5N)

80

Does Colbert even have any standup experience?  I can't see his monologue being anything.  Also all his "humor" is basically politics.

 

Oh and if he is going to be himself does that mean he was actually go by CoberT  instead of his fake "Colbear" pronunciation?

Posted by: buzzion at April 10, 2014 08:47 AM (LI48c)

81 Sure, Ferguson's show is essentially Pee Wee's Playhouse, as hosted by a recovering-alcoholic Scotsman. Hey, we both play ourselves!

Posted by: Pee Wee Herman at April 10, 2014 08:47 AM (8ZskC)

82 And yes, I realize by definition what Colbert is doing is not "self-deprecating." What I'm saying is that as a fan of self-deprecating humor, I think I'm more apt to laugh when other people make fun of me (or my group) as well.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 10, 2014 08:47 AM (HDwDg)

83 The writing on the wall for Ferguson was obvious when Letterman retired during one of Craig's weeks off with reruns. If there was any sense that Craig mighta been successor, then they woulda timed things for an appropriate homage same day from Craig, and neither his personal nor official Late Late Show twitter accounts have said squat about Dave's retirement. Shame too 'cause I like Craig and Colbert's a fucking chump.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at April 10, 2014 08:47 AM (kqGWM)

84 Also, Ferguson isn't overtly political or partisan. Colbert will clearly toe (tow? - I always get this wrong!) the progressive line. Probably a pretty easy call, since Colbert will be competing with NBC's whatshisface who had Biden and Michelle O on during the first week of his show.

Posted by: Lizzy at April 10, 2014 08:48 AM (gzJJ2)

85 And, he bows and drools with "superstars." He's weird.

And that is EXACTLY what the entertainment industry wants from it's variety show hosts.


Can't really blame CBS for not putting a fuzzy foreigner in the prime slot.  Blame them for Colbert, yes, but not for not picking Ferguson.  (and that's without considering how Piers soiled the well)  Given how quickly this came about, Colbert's agent must have played an excellent hand.

They should have found out where Craig Kilborn is hiding.   The Daily Show was watchable with him as host... arrogant and self deprecating at the same time.

Posted by: Vince McMahon at April 10, 2014 08:48 AM (kFxpe)

86 45 And speaking of racism, Drudge has a hilarious photo of Holder up now...

Posted by: Tex Lovera at April 10, 2014 12:41 PM (wtvvX)

 

For a man in a position of great power, Holder really is a whiny little bitch.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 10, 2014 08:48 AM (DrWcr)

87 O/T: There's a student in my lab today wearing the Three Wolf Moon t-shirt. Does it have the extra wolves on the guns?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 10, 2014 08:48 AM (8ZskC)

88 This is a great example of how insulated conservatives are from pop culture. Every comment here is basically...who is this or he's not funny. Well to a large chunk of the public he is funny. CBS didn't just hire him because he shares their political views, he hired him, because they think he can make them money by holding a large audience. Pretending he's not funny or nobody watches him is just silly.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at April 10, 2014 08:48 AM (0LHZx)

89 Wouldn't it be funny if CBS's Nielsen numbers went UP after Late Night every night?

Posted by: elaine at April 10, 2014 08:48 AM (GNZ0/)

90 @72 - Fallon's crew might be smart enough to recognize that the road of leftist orthodoxy leads to the tarpits.

Posted by: JEM at April 10, 2014 08:48 AM (o+SC1)

91 >>>Can't really blame CBS for not putting a fuzzy foreigner in the prime slot. yeah but he's not a foreigner, he's an American citizen, and pretty proud about it.

Posted by: ace at April 10, 2014 08:49 AM (/FnUH)

92 Honestly, I think that time-slot is not as important as it was years ago. The decision is more of an issue to the chattering TV class than anything else. My bet is more people are watching porn, playing Call of Duty or sleeping because they are exhausted from trying to make money in the Obama economy than watching TV.

Posted by: Marcus T. Throat Punching the shit out of the Progressive Mob at April 10, 2014 08:49 AM (GGCsk)

93 79 O/T: There's a student in my lab today wearing the Three Wolf Moon t-shirt. Thought you'd get a chuckle out of that. I'm surprised the ladies aren't ripping off his clothes.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at April 10, 2014 08:49 AM (WCaqs)

94 Toe, as if standing in perfectly straight row of people, all with their toes on a chalk line. That's how I think of it, anyway.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 10, 2014 08:49 AM (ZshNr)

95 I guess Ferguson should've insulted more flyover country folks and Asians.

Posted by: Kevin in ABQ at April 10, 2014 08:50 AM (nWEus)

96 He would not even be funny if I was a Liberal. (G-d forbid)

He. Is. Not. Funny.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 10, 2014 12:44 PM (7ObY1)

As a guy who learned it the hard way:  sarcasm and parody are the lowest depths of humor.  It's easy, cheap, spiteful and lazy humor.

That's Colbert.  He's exceptional at low hanging fruit.  And not very witty, at all.

Contrast?  Dennis Miller.

He has intellectual references to history, subtle humor, comes out of the blue.  He's awesome. 

Colbert is a hack.  A famous hack, but hack nonetheless.

Posted by: tangonine at April 10, 2014 08:50 AM (x3YFz)

97 I'd rather see Craig Kilborn. What's he been up to anyway?

Posted by: Mainah at April 10, 2014 08:50 AM (659DL)

98 >>>At least with Ferguson, he has a genuine nice-guy appeal. He seems like someone you would want to have a beer with. Like Leno. yeah I just added an update making that point.

Posted by: ace at April 10, 2014 08:50 AM (/FnUH)

99 so, cbs decides the late night slot is not worth the trouble?

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2014 08:50 AM (rDidD)

100 I'm gobsmacked that some of you actually find Colbert's so-called "O'Reilly impression" funny. I just don't see it. It's the worst BillO impression ever.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 10, 2014 08:50 AM (7ObY1)

101 Current late night chat shows -- Jimmy Kimmel Live! -ABC Nightline -ABC Late Show with David Letterman -CBS The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson -CBS The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon -NBC Late Night with Seth Meyers -NBC Last Call with Carson Daly -NBC Saturday Night Live -NBC Conan -TBS The Pete Holmes Show -TBS The Daily Show with Jon Stewart -Comedy Central The Colbert Report -Comedy Central @midnight -Comedy Central The Arsenio Hall Show -syndication Chelsea Lately -E! Watch What Happens: Live -BRAVO The Tavis Smiley Show -PBS Charlie Rose -PBS Inside Comedy -Showtime Olbermann -ESPN

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 08:50 AM (ZPrif)

102 Colbert will clearly toe (tow? - I always get this wrong!) the progressive line. Probably a pretty easy call, since Colbert will be competing with NBC's whatshisface who had Biden and Michelle O on during the first week of his show. Posted by: Lizzy at April 10, 2014 12:48 PM (gzJJ2) ___________ Jimmy Fallon also had Sarah Palin and Bill O'Reilly on. He's a leftbot no doubt, but I think he'll surprise you with who he has on and the jokes he makes at Obama's expense.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at April 10, 2014 08:50 AM (0LHZx)

103

49 -

 

See, that's just it though.  I don't  think it's about the guy, it's about the audience.   Colbert's audience makes him cool, and not a tired old foop. 

 

How many of those people are going to jump to CBS with him?  How much of Dave's audience will stick around?  My guess is, not anywhere near as much as they are hoping,  because Colbert  IS NOT  the cause of his own success. 

 

 

Posted by: BurtTC at April 10, 2014 08:51 AM (TOk1P)

104 79 O/T: There's a student in my lab today wearing the Three Wolf Moon t-shirt. Thought you'd get a chuckle out of that.

Posted by: chemjeff at April 10, 2014 12:47 PM (dBV5N)


Dude. You should smack him upside the head just on general principles.

Posted by: joncelli at April 10, 2014 08:51 AM (RD7QR)

105 My (really apolitical) wife likes Letterman. She recently discovered Jimmy Fallon. Interviewed the Hillary, skit with Sarah Palin, and most recently, a phenomenal duo with Stevie Nicks. I'd say Colbert is wasting his time and will have even fewer viewers after most of the country switches to Fallon. Fallon threatens to actually replace the late great Johnny Carson.

Posted by: jwb7605 [/i][/u][/s][/b] at April 10, 2014 08:51 AM (ZALPg)

106

Every comment here is basically...who is this or he's not funny.

 

 

You're not funny.  Nobody  watches  your comments  anyway.

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 10, 2014 08:51 AM (BAS5M)

107 90 @72 - Fallon's crew might be smart enough to recognize that the road of leftist orthodoxy leads to the tarpits. If you had a funny, nominally conservative comedian host a nighttime network show, he'd do really, really well.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at April 10, 2014 08:51 AM (WCaqs)

108 Ferguson should never have even considered going to letterman's slot, he is exactly where he should be doing what he does better than anyone. he makes a crazy amount of money and is happy.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2014 08:51 AM (rDidD)

109 yeah but he's not a foreigner, he's an American citizen, and pretty proud about it.

Posted by: ace at April 10, 2014 12:49 PM (/FnUH)

 

And that's even worse to them.

Posted by: buzzion at April 10, 2014 08:52 AM (LI48c)

110
Dude. You should smack him upside the head just on general principles.

Posted by: joncelli at April 10, 2014 12:51 PM (RD7QR)


her, not him

Posted by: chemjeff at April 10, 2014 08:52 AM (dBV5N)

111 Every comment here is basically...who is this or he's not funny.

There are four lights, dude.  Four.

Posted by: HR at April 10, 2014 08:52 AM (ZKzrr)

112 79 O/T: There's a student in my lab today wearing the Three Wolf Moon t-shirt. Thought you'd get a chuckle out of that. Posted by: chemjeff at April 10, 2014 12:47 PM (dBV5N) Three Ewok Moon FTW. http://tinyurl.com/lk2prdg

Posted by: RWC at April 10, 2014 08:52 AM (fWAjv)

113 You're not funny. Nobody watches your comments anyway. Posted by: Count de Monet at April 10, 2014 12:51 PM (BAS5M) Thread winner.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 08:52 AM (da5Wo)

114 no one who is conservative should ever let their television tune into colberts show.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2014 08:52 AM (rDidD)

115 Of the four of them (Fallon, Kimmel, Colbert and Ferguson), Ferguson is the only one who is actually funny.  The other three are just varying degrees of annoying.

Posted by: Steve in Greensboro at April 10, 2014 08:52 AM (bbivj)

116 dont forget Bill Maher there is a real diversity of opinion, race and gender in late night tv btw, chandler is quitting so she is taking her lone vagina with her. Smiley at PBS and Hall in syndication. ppfffftttt

Posted by: thunderb at April 10, 2014 08:53 AM (zOTsN)

117 Dennis Miller with Norm Macdonald as the 'couch' guy. Youtube some of their radio conversations. Absolute gold.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at April 10, 2014 08:53 AM (WCaqs)

118 her, not him Posted by: chemjeff at April 10, 2014 12:52 PM (dBV5N) This changes the mental picture dramatically. Is the shirt... tight?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 10, 2014 08:53 AM (8ZskC)

119 Three wolves t-shirt. Ok, as a scifi fan, I want a three moons t-shirt.

Posted by: Smith! the Art Critic at April 10, 2014 08:53 AM (ORWoy)

120 88 This is a great example of how insulated conservatives are from pop culture. Every comment here is basically...who is this or he's not funny.

Well to a large chunk of the public he is funny. CBS didn't just hire him because he shares their political views, he hired him, because they think he can make them money by holding a large audience.

Pretending he's not funny or nobody watches him is just silly. Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo



Is that you, Stephen Colbert???!   Precious.

Posted by: Sphynx at April 10, 2014 08:53 AM (OZmbA)

121 I remember once upon recommending Craig Ferguson to Ace, who at that point hadn't really seen much of his show. 

Didn't realize that later on he'd become a fan of his. 

Ferguson deserves the slot.  He's the best late-night talk show host on television, hands down.  Colbert is utterly insufferable.

Posted by: Jeff B., RINO emeritus at April 10, 2014 08:53 AM (ewYO6)

122 it would have been smart to offer Ferguson the slot and it is smart if Ferguson said no.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2014 08:54 AM (rDidD)

123 Colbert HAS no real person. Al Franken's bogarting it.

Posted by: richard mcenroe at April 10, 2014 08:54 AM (XO6WW)

124 Colbert gives me douche chills. Then again all libtards give me douche chills.


Posted by: dananjcon at April 10, 2014 08:54 AM (NpXoL)

125 >>If you had a funny, nominally conservative comedian host a nighttime network show, he'd do really, really well. *AHEM*

Posted by: Greg Gufeld at April 10, 2014 08:54 AM (gzJJ2)

126 Colbert replacing Letterman instead of Chelsea Handler, Ellen DeGeneres or Whoopi? More proof of the CBS "WAR ON WOMEN"!!!!

Posted by: Every MSNBC anchor at April 10, 2014 08:54 AM (LDwc9)

127 There's a student in my lab today wearing the Three Wolf Moon t-shirt.

I'm obviously wearing it ironically.  DUHHHHH!

Posted by: ChemJeff's student at April 10, 2014 08:54 AM (4nR9/)

128 Wasn't Colbert's "ching chong" "joke" on a twitter feed run by Comedy Central, not Colbert himself? Personally I never got the appeal. I've tried to watch him a few times and didn't laugh once.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/s][/i][/b][/s] at April 10, 2014 08:54 AM (qKrH5)

129 >>>Honestly, I think that time-slot is not as important as it was years ago. The decision is more of an issue to the chattering TV class than anything else. sure, of course, obviously true.

Posted by: ace at April 10, 2014 08:54 AM (/FnUH)

130 Gutfeld is better than Ferguson, and he's American and quite possibly an Ewok. O/T Dick Durbin denied Holy Communion http://tinyurl.com/q8szvfu "“Senator Durbin was informed several years ago by his pastor at Blessed Sacrament Parish here in Springfield that he was not permitted to receive Holy Communion per canon 915 of the Code of Canon Law,” Paprocki wrote. “My predecessor upheld that decision and it remains in effect. It is my understanding that the senator is complying with that decision here in the Diocese of Springfield in Illinois.”"

Posted by: Iblis at April 10, 2014 08:54 AM (9221z)

131 I like Craig Ferguson. He's light-hearted and quite funny. But I hear he used Mozilla when Brendan Eich was running things. What was he thinking?! Off with his head...

Posted by: t-bird at April 10, 2014 08:55 AM (FcR7P)

132 Reminds me, Norm MacDonald does great Twitter/podcast coverage of major golf events. Not sure how much he's doing for the Masters, or if it's live, but he's great. Has guests, mixes up golf commentary with talk show style banter. Uncensored, reads viewer Tweets, etc.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 10, 2014 08:55 AM (ZshNr)

133 Yeah...this isn't for us. It blows my mind that people are watching Seth Meyers who has never been funny.

Posted by: resist we much at April 10, 2014 08:55 AM (u0wJh)

134 >>>Wasn't Colbert's "ching chong" "joke" on a twitter feed run by Comedy Central, not Colbert himself? the twitter account was a Comedy Central account, but they repeated, verbatim, the same joke Colbert had done on his show.

Posted by: ace at April 10, 2014 08:55 AM (/FnUH)

135 Well to a large chunk of the public he is funny. CBS didn't just hire him because he shares their political views, he hired him, because they think he can make them money by holding a large audience.

Pretending he's not funny or nobody watches him is just silly.

You mean the same people who put Katie Couric in the anchor chair?

Posted by: ChemJeff's student at April 10, 2014 08:55 AM (4nR9/)

136 http://tinyurl.com/lk2prdg

Posted by: RWC at April 10, 2014 12:52 PM (fWAjv)


-----


**winces**


<<click>>


phew........

Posted by: fixerupper at April 10, 2014 08:55 AM (nELVU)

137 92 Honestly, I think that time-slot is not as important as it was years ago. The decision is more of an issue to the chattering TV class than anything else. My bet is more people are watching porn, playing Call of Duty or sleeping because they are exhausted from trying to make money in the Obama economy than watching TV. Posted by: Marcus T. Throat Punching the shit out of the Progressive Mob at April 10, 2014 12:49 PM (GGCsk) ________ The shows still get between 4 and 5 million viewers. That's nowhere near the numbers of 10-20 years ago. But still 5 million people is a lot of people. And as important as the numbers themselves is most people are watching it live, ie not DVR. So they actually have to sit through the commercials which advertisers love. Late night and sports are about the only thing left on TV where people are actually watching commercials.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at April 10, 2014 08:55 AM (0LHZx)

138 >>>It blows my mind that people are watching Seth Meyers who has never been funny. are they?

Posted by: ace at April 10, 2014 08:55 AM (/FnUH)

139 The only late night show I like is the one while I'm sleeping.

Posted by: dantesed at April 10, 2014 08:55 AM (88xKn)

140 http://tinyurl.com/lk2prdg

Posted by: RWC



Is this real??   I WANT ONE!

Posted by: Sphynx at April 10, 2014 08:55 AM (OZmbA)

141 Dang.  pep = ChemJeff's Student

Posted by: pep at April 10, 2014 08:55 AM (4nR9/)

142 meh, not gutfeld, he is not especially funny. he has a good enough show but it is not his humor it is his panel.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2014 08:56 AM (rDidD)

143 I would have gone with Chevy Chase.

Posted by: RWC at April 10, 2014 08:56 AM (fWAjv)

144 Three Ewok Moon FTW.

That's no moon....

Posted by: HR at April 10, 2014 08:56 AM (ZKzrr)

145 This is a great example of how insulated conservatives are from pop culture. Every comment here is basically...who is this or he's not funny.

Well to a large chunk of the public he is funny.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at April 10, 2014 12:48 PM (0LHZx)

My dog thinks it's funny when I crouch and play puppy.

Intellect of the receiver.

You're arguing that the pie in the face gag is 'funny' because idiots are laughing.  Think about it.

Posted by: tangonine at April 10, 2014 08:56 AM (x3YFz)

146 Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at April 10, 2014 12:48 PM (0LHZx) Actually I used to watch his show all the time. And I have his book "I am America and So Can you." And I think it's pretty funny. What I'm saying is he seems to be stuck in one routine and I don't think he can escape it. It's a gravity well to him now. I realized that prior to daily show I didn't know much about him so I skimmed a biography. Turns out he didn't actually do all that much prior to the daily show. Some time with Second City, a failed TV show with Sedaris (not strangers with Candy) and then Daily show (which was the same time as Strangers with Candy more or less.) He's been doing variations on this bit for over a decade, I don't think he can play it straight. He'd be better off bringing the character to the Late show.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 10, 2014 08:56 AM (HDwDg)

147 All this is fine and dandy, but who watches these shows anymore anyway? I'm either watching the History Channels, Sports, News or some movie I've seen 600 times

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 10, 2014 08:56 AM (t3UFN)

148 Colbert is funny. And making a living as one of the highest paid comedians in America is objective proof that you are funny -- at least to a large % of Americans. Comedy is subjective. It's silly to pronounce that Comedian X is objectively not funny. Might not be funny to you, but clearly funny to others. The most objective measures we have are ticket sales, TV ratings, revenue generated, etc, etc. Many on the Left want to insist that Andrew Dice Clay was never funny. Sold out stadiums filled with tens of thousands laughing their asses off and paying top dollar are strong evidence that, to that group at that time, he was funny. Colbert's objective success as a professional comedian is strong evidence that he is actually funny. A lot of people on the Left insist Leno is not funny. Even though he's the highest earning comedian on the planet for for most of the past 20 years. They just didn't like his comedy.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 08:56 AM (ZPrif)

149 http://tinyurl.com/lk2prdg



Needs to be ewoks howling at Kate Upton's 'moon'

Posted by: Sphynx at April 10, 2014 08:56 AM (OZmbA)

150 The polls are skewed... Nobody watches Late Night TV... Keep burying that head in the sand some more

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at April 10, 2014 08:56 AM (0LHZx)

151 As I said in the previous thread to echo Ace's sentiments. Wow, big news. Smarmy liberal hack replaces smarmy liberal hack. Well done CBS. I can continue not watching your network. It was rumored that Chelsea Handler was up for it which didn't make sense either as her potty mouth humor wouldn't work on primetime network TV. Colbert will drag along his and Stewarts clapping seals. But beyond that it's a stinkburger. Is there no new and fresh talent worth trying? SO we have basically the same stable of late night hosts that we're stuck in a revolving orb of suck? CNS had a chance to be bold and find a new talent. Colbert sucks and they can continue irrelevance.

Posted by: Minnfidel at April 10, 2014 08:57 AM (igKtt)

152 You're arguing that the pie in the face gag is 'funny' because idiots are laughing. Not just idiots. Also, vice presidents.

Posted by: Joe Biden at April 10, 2014 08:57 AM (8ZskC)

153 are they?

Posted by: ace at April 10, 2014 12:55 PM (/FnUH)

nope.

Posted by: tangonine at April 10, 2014 08:57 AM (x3YFz)

154 Didn't Stewart produce the Colbert show too? Colbert started on Stewart's show, then moved onto his own, with the help of Stewart. It will be a different world for him on CBS.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 10, 2014 08:57 AM (IXrOn)

155 If CBS had any cojones, they would go with someone like Daniel Tosh... 

Posted by: Dice at April 10, 2014 08:58 AM (kFxpe)

156 TVByTheNumbers shows who watches these shows. They get good ratings and our pretty cheap to produce. Colbert is paid millions because he gets good ratings.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 08:58 AM (ZPrif)

157 Three Ewok Moon FTW.


http://tinyurl.com/lk2prdg

Posted by: RWC at April 10, 2014 12:52 PM (fWAjv)


Must. Have. This.

Posted by: joncelli at April 10, 2014 08:58 AM (RD7QR)

158 he is not especially funny, he is funny to liberals because he is ridiculing conservatives. he never does anything non-political and funny.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2014 08:58 AM (rDidD)

159 Craig Ferguson likes America so much he became a citizen.

That right there must have disqualified him in the eyes of CBS.

Posted by: Z as in Jersey at April 10, 2014 08:59 AM (K1YYB)

160 Not just idiots. Also, vice presidents.

Oh, well.  If the regime declares it funny, it must be so.  Har.

Posted by: HR at April 10, 2014 08:59 AM (ZKzrr)

161 Is this real?? I WANT ONE! Posted by: Sphynx at April 10, 2014 12:55 PM (OZmbA) Yep. $17.99 http://tinyurl.com/laanmfn

Posted by: RWC at April 10, 2014 08:59 AM (fWAjv)

162 >>>meh, not gutfeld, he is not especially funny. he has a good enough show but it is not his humor it is his panel.

Gutfeld is a funny writer, who has learned over time to deliver his written humor with reasonable skill in the verbal format.  But he's nowhere near the caliber of Craig Ferguson in terms of sheer spontaneous charisma. 

Here's the best way I can think of to praise Ferguson's show: it's literally the only late-night show I have ever seen where the interviews are every bit as fun and entertaining as the "comedy bits."  And 100% of the reason for that is Craig Ferguson: he not only brings the absolute best out of people who in any other context would be horribly boring, he is one of the smoothest (even with his open quirkiness) conversationalists I've ever seen.  A Scotsman with the Irish gift of blarney.

Posted by: Jeff B., RINO emeritus at April 10, 2014 08:59 AM (ewYO6)

163 http://tvbythenumbers.zap2it.com/category/ratings/late-night/

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 08:59 AM (ZPrif)

164 well, letterman was a seriously funny comedian early in his career, colbert is an actor.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2014 09:00 AM (rDidD)

165 You know, if we told 35% of the GOP to go fuck themselves we could win elections.

Posted by: Head in the Sand at April 10, 2014 09:00 AM (Aif/5)

166 at this point in time i prefer kimmel and ferguson. let all the others go down in flames! (said grumpily)

Posted by: concrete girl at April 10, 2014 09:00 AM (Hcorn)

167 Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 10, 2014 12:56 PM (HDwDg) ___________ Valid point. Time will tell I guess. He's had his show on for what, 5 years on Comedy Central? And it;s essentially been the same skit every day. To me, if he can pull it off for 5 years without losing an audience, he can keep doing it for another 5 or 10 or who knows how many more years. I've never really found him entertaining. But I realize that my tastes do not mirror everyone else's. Same goes with movies. With the odd exception here and there the most popular movies are ones I find least interesting. But I'm not going to say, these movies don't matter or these movies are not watched by anyone.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at April 10, 2014 09:00 AM (0LHZx)

168 Cheap to produce TV shows. Doesn't that illustrate the problem Hollywood is having with their blockbuster movies not making enough money to pay the production costs?

Posted by: Smith! the Art Critic at April 10, 2014 09:00 AM (ORWoy)

169 Gutfeld is funny enough, but his schtick is too belabored. You're nuts if you think he'd do even minimally acceptable numbers as a late night talk show host in any time slot.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at April 10, 2014 09:00 AM (kqGWM)

170 last weeks ratings, Meyers crushed Ferguson 12:35-1:35 a.m. Seth Meyers*...0.59/4...0.55/3Â…1.627 millionÂ…1.797 million Ferguson*...0.39/2...0.35/2Â…1.420 millionÂ…1.330 million

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 09:01 AM (ZPrif)

171 I don't think anyone occasionally minds a little self-deprecating humor. But people who happen to be outside the liberal-progressive thunderdome take it in the neck all day long. It's the news, TV and generally any media outlet that criticizes and lies all day long about people who don't agree with them. It's why I don't really watch TV anymore. At that point it's not entertaining or funny. The lack of a variable, different repertoire to me indicates more a lack of talent or skill than an indicative of it. Especially at that time of day- I don't need it. This is a predictable move. But I am glad all the people out of work or sucking up my tax money on public assistance now have a another sycophant to watch  while they eat Mickey D's and drink a six of Bud.

Posted by: Marcus T. Throat Punching the shit out of the Progressive Mob at April 10, 2014 09:01 AM (GGCsk)

172 are they? Posted by: ace at April 10, 2014 12:55 PM (/FnUH) To the extent that this means jacksh*t, it appears that they are. Do not understand!!! At 12:35 a.m., NBC’s “Late Night With Seth Meyers” hit three-week highs last week, with its 0.70 rating in adults 18-49 and 1.995 million total viewers up vs. the prior week by 4% and 8% respectively. In 18-49, it outdelivered CBS’ “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” by 79% (0.70 vs. 0.39) and ABC’s “Nightline” by 95% for their common half-hour (0.80 vs. 0.41).

Posted by: resist we much at April 10, 2014 09:01 AM (u0wJh)

173

142 -

 

Have you read any of Gutfeld's books?  Pay any attention to the stuff he did when he was on Huffington Post?  As an editor of (I don't remember which) one of  those men's magazines?

 

The man is hilarious.  And I rarely watch the Fox shows, but when I have, it appears to me he carries everyone else, allowing them to riff on the vibe he creates.

 

I don't know, it seems to me  it would be almost impossible for you to be any more wrong about this than you are. 

Posted by: BurtTC at April 10, 2014 09:02 AM (TOk1P)

174 the twitter account was a Comedy Central account, but they repeated, verbatim, the same joke Colbert had done on his show. Ah, thank you. I didn't pay attention during that one.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/s][/i][/b][/s] at April 10, 2014 09:02 AM (qKrH5)

175 Damn I miss Strangers with Candy...

Posted by: Countrysquire at April 10, 2014 09:02 AM (LSJmV)

176 I deserve a second chance.

Posted by: Joey Bishop at April 10, 2014 09:03 AM (l3vZN)

177

Keep burying that head in the sand some more

 

 

I prefer  it to where your's is perma-buried.

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 10, 2014 09:03 AM (BAS5M)

178 Chelsea Handler was never seriously considered for Dave's chair by anyone other than her own publicist. Good grief, people. Get a clue.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at April 10, 2014 09:03 AM (kqGWM)

179 Myers and Fallon have boosted ratings big this year Ferguson and Letterman have lost ratings this year. Season averages Show...18-49 this season...18-49 last season...total viewers this season...total viewers last season 11:35 p.m.-12:35 a.m. TonightÂ…1.58/7Â…0.76/3Â…5.018 millionÂ…3.383 million DaveÂ…0.56/2Â…0.67/3Â…2.769 millionÂ…2.923 million Kimmel...0.67/3...0.68/3Â…2.643 millionÂ…2.475 million 12:35-1:05 a.m. NightlineÂ…0.40/2Â…0.39/2Â…1.608 millionÂ…1.449 million 12:35-1:35 a.m. Seth Meyers...0.72/4...0.49/3Â…2.024 millionÂ…1.625 million Ferguson...0.36/2...0.39/2Â…1.345 millionÂ…1.437 million

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 09:03 AM (ZPrif)

180 A lot of people on the Left insist Leno is not funny. Even though he's the highest earning comedian on the planet for for most of the past 20 years. They just didn't like his comedy. But by that logic, Twilight is a good literature because it sold well. Twilight has a large fanbase for reasons not to do with literature. It's about creepy women who want to be rough-handled by a seventeen year old. The same is true with comedians. Colbert tells liberals what they want to hear. Most people are probably apathetic towards him, or laughed at a few of his jokes here or there. But he has a devoted fanbase because he's liberal. If he weren't, would he be successful?

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at April 10, 2014 09:04 AM (53Nsb)

181 it would have been smart to offer Ferguson the slot and it is smart if Ferguson said no. Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2014 12:54 PM (rDidD) It's possible he did turn it down.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 10, 2014 09:04 AM (IXrOn)

182 I saw clips of the "real Colbert" speaking at a dinner when W was in the WH. He did a stand up routine that was supposed to be, you know, funny insult humor and turned out about like you'd expect. He spent about 45 minutes lecturing the President on how stupid and evil he was while pausing occasionally for laughter and applause from the media. He won't last.

Posted by: Daybrother at April 10, 2014 09:04 AM (QfspF)

183 Like myself, Craig Furgeson is a big fan of Old Time Radio. Unlike myself, he actually has guest hosted for Greg Bell on the SXM OTR channel.

Posted by: Countrysquire at April 10, 2014 09:04 AM (LSJmV)

184 Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 01:03 PM (ZPrif) _______ I ask in all seriousness...Nightline is still on the air? I am truly surprised. I thought that went away long, long ago.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at April 10, 2014 09:04 AM (0LHZx)

185 >>>Myers and Fallon have boosted ratings big this year Ferguson and Letterman have lost ratings this year. but this is a little misleading, as we're just months from those shows' debuts.

Posted by: ace at April 10, 2014 09:04 AM (/FnUH)

186 It's the news, TV and generally any media outlet that criticizes and lies all day long about people who don't agree with them. It's why I don't really watch TV anymore. Posted by: Marcus T. Throat Punching the shit out of the Progressive Mob at April 10, 2014 01:01 PM (GGCsk) Pretty much this. Also, any time you spend around other people, they pretty much randomly parrot the lies about the Kulaks Who Are So Evil anyway, so it's not like I'm missing anything.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at April 10, 2014 09:05 AM (qyfb5)

187

I think Gutfeld makes a lot of conservatives squirm, because  they're not entirely sure his gay schtick is an act. 

 

I think it's brilliant that he keeps doing it  over and over and over again.  If  you don't like it, that's one thing.  If you don't understand why it's great humor though, you simply  don't understand humor. 

Posted by: BurtTC at April 10, 2014 09:05 AM (TOk1P)

188
At 12:35 a.m., NBC’s “Late Night With Seth Meyers” hit three-week highs last week, with its 0.70 rating in adults 18-49 and 1.995 million total viewers up vs. the prior week by 4% and 8% respectively. In 18-49, it outdelivered CBS’ “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” by 79% (0.70 vs. 0.39) and ABC’s “Nightline” by 95% for their common half-hour (0.80 vs. 0.41).

Posted by: resist we much at April 10, 2014 01:01 PM (u0wJh)

The idea that humans still waste hours or what could be sleep watching a not funny person interview the narcissist of the week pushing their latest book... evades me.

Why?

What, exactly, do you get from watching late night shows?

/awaits.

Posted by: tangonine at April 10, 2014 09:05 AM (x3YFz)

189 NBC late night ratings got the expected new show bump, but perhaps surprisingly, they've retained more of their audience over time than some people were projecting. It'll be interesting to see if they hold up over a year or two. Perhaps that's why Dave retired when he did, and Colbert was chosen just one week later. CBS must be scared shitless that if they don't move now then those NBC ratings leads might solidify into something much harder to crack.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at April 10, 2014 09:05 AM (kqGWM)

190 Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at April 10, 2014 01:00 PM (0LHZx) Firstly, the bar for Cable is lower. I just checked TV by the numbers, he's being beat by Big Bang Theory reruns and Adult swim (I'm not sure if that's total or 18-49 demo, but still. Data for April 3, a random date I chose last week.) Secondly, I'd submit that he's as much riding a "wave" of "acceptable humor" as anything else. It's trendy to make fun of the right, so he's working from an advantage. He'll lose that I suspect when he has to play a "non-character"

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 10, 2014 09:06 AM (HDwDg)

191 >>>last weeks ratings, Meyers crushed Ferguson 12:35-1:35 a.m. i also think Ferguson was in repeats.

Posted by: ace at April 10, 2014 09:06 AM (/FnUH)

192 last week TOTAL VIEWERS Comedy Central, 11-11:30 p.m. “The Daily Show,” 1.540 million Comedy Central, 11:30 p.m.-midnight ET, “The Colbert Report,” 1.157 million TBS, 11 p.m.-midnight, “Conan,” 0.849 million ** Adult Swim, 11:30 p.m.-12:30 a.m. ET, 1.864 million viewers Adult Swim, 12:30-1:30 a.m. ET, 1.357 million viewers

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 09:06 AM (ZPrif)

193 The same is true with comedians. Colbert tells liberals what they want to hear. Most people are probably apathetic towards him, or laughed at a few of his jokes here or there. But he has a devoted fanbase because he's liberal. If he weren't, would he be successful? Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at April 10, 2014 01:04 PM (53Nsb) ___________ Yes and when Nielsen counts ratings they don't ask are you a liberal? They ask are you watching the show. CBS has bet that there are enough die hard lefties who will watch the show, even if to non-lefties, Colbert sucks. It's probably a good bet.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at April 10, 2014 09:06 AM (0LHZx)

194 I saw clips of the "real Colbert" speaking at a dinner when W was in the WH. He did a stand up routine that was supposed to be, you know, funny insult humor and turned out about like you'd expect. He spent about 45 minutes lecturing the President on how stupid and evil he was while pausing occasionally for laughter and applause from the media. He won't last. Posted by: Daybrother I remember that. he was gawdawful

Posted by: thunderb at April 10, 2014 09:06 AM (zOTsN)

195 Also, as I said the other day, Andy Levy.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at April 10, 2014 09:07 AM (qyfb5)

196

Colbert's thing has been playing a spoof character.  I wonder if he can actually handle the late night talk show host gig?  A lot of people have tried and failed so it obviously isn't an easy thing to do.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Days of Rage Sale at the Outrage Outlet! at April 10, 2014 09:07 AM (hLRSq)

197 82 And yes, I realize by definition what Colbert is doing is not "self-deprecating." What I'm saying is that as a fan of self-deprecating humor, I think I'm more apt to laugh when other people make fun of me (or my group) as well. Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 10, 2014 12:47 PM (HDwDg) ---------------- I am more apt to laugh when people make fun of me or my group too, but only if (1) it is not mean-spirited and (2) it is based on reality. Making fun of women for loving shoes is funny. Even if it's based on a crude stereotype, it's a fair generalization. Making fun of conservatives for being stupid, "racist," or wanting sick children to die is NOT funny because it is based on lies. Colbert is a sanctimonious prick who makes fun of a strawman to the applause of a self-congratulatory in-crowd. He is the very opposite of self-deprecating. Colbert

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at April 10, 2014 09:07 AM (dfYL9)

198 Horde! Super important question of super importance. Whose hair would win in a steel cage death match? Trey Gowdy or Giorgio Tsoukalos?

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 09:08 AM (mf5HN)

199 The story of Craig Ferguson's gay skeleton robot is in many ways the story of Obama.

Posted by: Furious George at April 10, 2014 09:08 AM (yFb77)

200 Yes and when Nielsen counts ratings they don't ask are you a liberal? They ask are you watching the show. CBS has bet that there are enough die hard lefties who will watch the show, even if to non-lefties, Colbert sucks. The question isn't if he can sell his product. It's if it sells because he's funny or because he does liberal 'comedy'.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at April 10, 2014 09:08 AM (53Nsb)

201 Hey! It's great to be here on "The Late Show". I know there's plenty of you who know me as the character "Steven Colbert" on "The Colbert Report". Yes....Thank you. But I'm retiring that Character...aww, yeah I know I loved him too. From here on out I'm going to just be me. No character. Just me. The real Steven Colbert. So...let's get started. Hey, how about those Republicans? They suck! Thank you. And they're stupid and racist. Every single one of them. Thank you....thank you so much. Oh, a standing ovation? Thank you. I wish they'd all just die. Hey, you too, huh? Okay, when we get back from commercial- Stupid Asian Tricks!!!! Ching chong ding dong wang tang doodle! We'll be right back!

Posted by: Steven Colbert's First Monolgue at April 10, 2014 09:08 AM (0cMkb)

202 Colbert has one joke: His persona. That will travel as well as an August sushi delivery. His built-in audience is going to drop off cause he can't be in character making fun of Republicans every night. Without the Colbert character, does CBS realize that they've just put their show in the hands of a largely unknown quantity?

Posted by: Oschisms at April 10, 2014 09:08 AM (y9dfJ)

203 Too tired to stay up late anymore, but I recently discovered Craig Ferguson is the voice of Owl in the 2011 Winnie the Pooh movie, which is one of my toddlers' favorites.  He's much funnier than the Owls in the other Pooh movies (my kids love them all, but the 2011 one is my favorite).

Posted by: not the mama at April 10, 2014 09:08 AM (5dxeo)

204 I want the Ace of Spades Late Night Show.

'rons and 'ettes rotate in and out as hosts.

RATINGS!

Posted by: tangonine at April 10, 2014 09:09 AM (x3YFz)

205 Sadly empress I'd have to go with Giorgio. His hair has secret reverse engineered alien technology.

Posted by: Adam at April 10, 2014 09:09 AM (Aif/5)

206 Hey, how about those Republicans?
They suck!
Thank you.

ZOMG!  THAT'S SO FUNNY!  HEY YOU GUYS, CHECK OUT THIS AMAZEBALLS COMEDY!

Posted by: HR at April 10, 2014 09:09 AM (ZKzrr)

207 I seriously doubt Ferguson has a say in any of this. Again, he was on vacation with reruns when Dave announced his retirement, and got a huge audience for that single night which coulda spilled over to Craig's benefit, especially if he gushed appreciation for Dave giving him a chance in the later time slot. Dead silence from Ferguson's personal and official Late Late Show twitter accounts regarding Dave's retirement says more than any words could have.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at April 10, 2014 09:09 AM (kqGWM)

208 The question isn't if he can sell his product. It's if it sells because he's funny or because he does liberal 'comedy'. Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at April 10, 2014 01:08 PM (53Nsb) ___________ As long as he sells, who cares? Think of a $250 t-shirt. Is it 25 times better than a $10 t-shirt? Fuck no. But people will pay $250 for it. Are the people idiots? Fuck yeah. Does the designer selling the $250 shirt care? Fuck no. CBS is the same way.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at April 10, 2014 09:09 AM (0LHZx)

209 I think Gutfeld makes a lot of conservatives squirm, because they're not entirely sure his gay schtick is an act. Gutfeld has a gay schtick?

Posted by: Tami [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 10, 2014 09:10 AM (bCEmE)

210 What, exactly, do you get from watching late night shows? /awaits. Posted by: tangonine at April 10, 2014 01:05 PM (x3YFz) Buddy Hacket on Johnny Carson talking about the airlines losing his luggage. Bill Cosby on Johnny Carson talking about a trip to the dentist. Ya, two shows out of 30(?) years. and ya, it was Carson not these other guys.

Posted by: Smith! the Art Critic at April 10, 2014 09:10 AM (ORWoy)

211 Whose hair would win in a steel cage death match? Trey Gowdy or Giorgio Tsoukalos?


Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 01:08 PM (mf5HN)

 

 

Have to go with Tsoulakos.  It's got that whole crazy, I don't give a fuck thing going for it.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 10, 2014 09:10 AM (DrWcr)

212 It's about creepy women who want to be rough-handled by a seventeen year old. Twilight franchise gross sales are estimated at $5.7 Billions. The fanbase is almost entirely women, sure, but it may have a bit more broad appeal than you're thinking. Source: http://www.statisticbrain.com /total-twilight-franchise-sales-revenue/

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/s][/i][/b][/s] at April 10, 2014 09:11 AM (qKrH5)

213 Whose hair would win in a steel cage death match? Trey Gowdy or Giorgio Tsoukalos?


Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 01:08 PM (mf5HN)


I'm going with Giorgio. The aliens will back him up if he gets in trouble.

Posted by: joncelli at April 10, 2014 09:11 AM (RD7QR)

214 ot I guess the vote was to hold Lerner in contempt.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 10, 2014 09:11 AM (IXrOn)

215 Jeepers, I had to google Ferguson's image to know who Ace is talking about and I still don't know who Ace is talking about. This day job certainly prevents me from being current and hip and unemployed.

Posted by: Chaos the Other Dark Meat at April 10, 2014 09:11 AM (oDCMR)

216 As long as he sells, who cares? Well...the people in this thread who are debating if he is 'funny' or not. I mean, iphones sell, but I wouldn't say they're delicious, and I wouldn't say it doesn't matter if they are delicious or not, particularly if I want food.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at April 10, 2014 09:11 AM (53Nsb)

217 Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at April 10, 2014 01:09 PM (0LHZx) Right we get that. But he won't be selling the same product. And we're all saying we don't think he can sell the new one. You're the one who keeps arguing that it'll sell by default.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 10, 2014 09:11 AM (HDwDg)

218 A lot of people on the Left insist Leno is not funny. Even though he's the highest earning comedian on the planet for for most of the past 20 years. They just didn't like his comedy. But by that logic, Twilight is a good literature because it sold well. -- This is a boring argument. This is just the No True Scotsman fallacy. If you think you have access to some objective definition of "Good" comedy or "true" comedy then ... whatever. Nothing I say will convince you otherwise. Look, there are comedy films that are hugely successful that I don't like or find funny. But it's dumb to insist that they are objectively not funny and that the millions of fans insisting that they personally laughed and thought it was hilarious are just deluded somehow. It's a juvenile, dumb argument. There is no objective definition for comedy. Insisting your personal tastes are some objective standard is silly.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 09:11 AM (ZPrif)

219 Liberal entertainment is largely based on politics and their favorite social issues. Those are the repetitive, droning consistencies in all their "comedy". It full of political allusions and ad hominems, demagoguery and outright mockery. Who needs that? That is not entertainment or an escape. It's mindless propaganda and churlishness meant to chide. I don't find Colbert or many of the others to be funny. They are untalented buffoons who are stooges for the liberal masses.

Posted by: Marcus T. Throat Punching the shit out of the Progressive Mob at April 10, 2014 09:12 AM (GGCsk)

220 I'm sure it's been said, but the primary difference between Colbert & Ferguson as far as CBS is concerned is that Ferguson will sometimes make fun (however indirectly) of the SCOAMT.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 10, 2014 09:12 AM (PYAXX)

221

"If either man had had that Carson-like Relatability Factor, there would have been no controversy at all."

 

I think Carson was good in not making the show all about Carson.  He'd have the guests on and he would draw them out, putting them at ease and getting them to talk.  There are people that are good doing that, we know them.  But those same people usually do not have the ego that is needed to land such a talk show anyway.  It is a rare talent to have a great ego and have it on a leash.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Days of Rage Sale at the Outrage Outlet! at April 10, 2014 09:12 AM (hLRSq)

222

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 01:03 PM (ZPrif)

 

Fallon and Myers are "new" and this will be the best they get IMO. 

 

I remember how Dave Letterman was kicking Jay Leno's ass the first year they competed too.  That changed after a year.  By the end of the second year, Letterman was solidly in second place.  And stayed there for the next 20 years.

 

Posted by: rd at April 10, 2014 09:12 AM (D+lxs)

223 Self deprecating humor died with Rodney Dangerfield.

Posted by: jwb7605 [/i][/u][/s][/b] at April 10, 2014 09:13 AM (ZALPg)

224

209 -

 

I watch the Fox shows very rarely, but I'm pretty  sure I've seen him do it there.  He peppers it all through his writing. 

 

I  ask  this with complete sincerity:  are you  really saying you don't know about it, or are you just messing with me? 

Posted by: BurtTC at April 10, 2014 09:13 AM (TOk1P)

225

The fanbase is almost entirely women, sure, but it may have a bit more broad appeal than you're thinking.

 

No.  It's just broad  appeal.

 

 

[ISWYDT]

Posted by: 50 Shades of de Monet at April 10, 2014 09:13 AM (BAS5M)

226 Colbert?

Was Rosie O'Donnell busy?

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at April 10, 2014 09:13 AM (AC0lD)

227 Whose hair would win in a steel cage death match? Trey Gowdy or Giorgio Tsoukalos?


Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 01:08 PM (mf5HN)

Don Shipley.  https://twitter.com/buds131


Posted by: tangonine at April 10, 2014 09:13 AM (x3YFz)

228 21-12 vote on contempt just put her in jail already

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 10, 2014 09:14 AM (IXrOn)

229 Nothing says wise corporate decision like alienating half of your potential audience before the first show starts.

Posted by: taylork at April 10, 2014 09:14 AM (9bPUR)

230 But he won't be selling the same product. And we're all saying we don't think he can sell the new one. You're the one who keeps arguing that it'll sell by default. Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 10, 2014 01:11 PM (HDwDg) ________ The product he's selling is "Republicans are evil racists". He may sell it in a different way, but it's still the same product. And the audience buying that product (leftards) will keep on plunking down the money to buy it, so to speak. Think of it like Apple. Fanbois will buy anything with an apple logo on it, whether it's a good product or a shit product. They're buying the brand. Colbert's brand is "I Hate Republicans".

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at April 10, 2014 09:14 AM (0LHZx)

231 Self deprecating humor died with Rodney Dangerfield.

Posted by: jwb7605 at April 10, 2014 01:13 PM (ZALPg)

he's dead?  sonfa...

Posted by: tangonine at April 10, 2014 09:14 AM (x3YFz)

232

I WANT to be pissed by this ... but I just can't summon it.

 

Truth is, after a day of work dumbassery, an evening with my own tribe, and the requisite six beers to wash it all down with - I'm out WAY before any of that shit comes on.

 

Just do not have a dog in this fight. All the same tho, fuck Colbert. He's a dick of the highest rank.

Posted by: ScoggDog at April 10, 2014 09:15 AM (AWhKR)

233 215 Jeepers, I had to google Ferguson's image to know who Ace is talking about and I still don't know who Ace is talking about. This day job certainly prevents me from being current and hip and unemployed.

Posted by: Chaos the Other Dark Meat at April 10, 2014 01:11 PM (oDCMR)

He used to play the boss on "The Drew Carey Show" if that helps.

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at April 10, 2014 09:15 AM (AC0lD)

234 I want the Ace of Spades Late Night Show.

'rons and 'ettes rotate in and out as hosts.

RATINGS!

 

Posted by: tangonine at April 10, 2014 01:09 PM (x3YFz)

 

With Vic as Ed McMahon.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 10, 2014 09:15 AM (zF6Iw)

235 I watch the Fox shows very rarely, but I'm pretty sure I've seen him do it there. He peppers it all through his writing. I ask this with complete sincerity: are you really saying you don't know about it, or are you just messing with me? Posted by: BurtTC at April 10, 2014 01:13 PM (TOk1P) I've heard him talk about his wife on The Five, so I'm sincere. Could be I've just missed it or count it more as a NY hip thing.

Posted by: Tami [/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 10, 2014 09:15 AM (bCEmE)

236 The only thing was a tad off with Ferguson (when I used to watch him a lot) was he leaned in close when talking to people sometimes. The "in your space" thing. Not sure that is a big deal to most people Doesn't bother me unless there is bad breath involved. Otherwise, I always liked him. He was sincere. And, the improv kept you on your seat sometimes.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 10, 2014 09:15 AM (IXrOn)

237 I'd rather see Craig Kilborn. What's he been up to anyway?

Posted by: Mainah at April 10, 2014 12:50 PM (659DL)



Not putting up pictures of George W. Bush with crosshairs superimposed over it and the graphic "Snipers Wanted."  Anymore.

Posted by: NC Ref at April 10, 2014 09:16 AM (Myqtp)

238 I would rather watch vomit run down off a pile of drying feces for five hours than listen to Colbert for ten minutes.

Posted by: Inspector Cussword at April 10, 2014 09:16 AM (Qp0nB)

239 Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at April 10, 2014 01:14 PM (0LHZx) This is the "iPhone 5c" version though. The product intended for broader consumption. You know how many fanbois traded in their iPhone 5s's for the cs? I'm guessing not many. There's your comparison.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 10, 2014 09:16 AM (HDwDg)

240

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at April 10, 2014 01:09 PM (0LHZx)

 

Different venue, different audience.  Do the audiences overlap at all?

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Days of Rage Sale at the Outrage Outlet! at April 10, 2014 09:16 AM (hLRSq)

241 Gutfeld was freakin' KILLING me last night, Red Eye was so funny. Haven't laughed that hard at Red Eye in a long time. Now HE would have been a great replacement.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 10, 2014 09:16 AM (7ObY1)

242 It was a huge disappointment for me when I came of age and realized I wasn't gay.

Posted by: Lena Dunham at April 10, 2014 09:16 AM (Aif/5)

243 just yesterday people were saying they wanted ace to do late night...in disquise of course.

Posted by: concrete girl at April 10, 2014 09:16 AM (Hcorn)

244 What evidence does CBS have that the real Colbert will play with a large audience? Oh, but see, Ace, he's going to mock being a host who mocks being a host of a late night talk show. It's going to be meta-meta-meta and chock full of irony and all that shit the youfs love these days. Or not ( *archeyebrow *wink * fingerasidenose* )

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at April 10, 2014 09:16 AM (m58Tu)

245 With Vic as Ed McMahon. Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 10, 2014 01:15 PM (zF6Iw) hehe, or just "the voice" interjecting here and there

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 10, 2014 09:16 AM (IXrOn)

246 Whatever happened to the talk of Leno going to Fox? Did that ever go anywhere or was it just wishful thinking by Leno fans?

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at April 10, 2014 09:17 AM (0LHZx)

247 Hey Merovign? You still here?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 09:17 AM (da5Wo)

248 I have never heard Gutfield "gay schtick". Not on The Five or Red Eye. Are you sure you are thinking about Gutfield? And he is married

Posted by: thunderb at April 10, 2014 09:17 AM (zOTsN)

249 There is no objective definition for comedy.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 01:11 PM (ZPrif)

Well, if no one laughs, it's not funny.  By definition.

Posted by: tangonine at April 10, 2014 09:17 AM (x3YFz)

250 Which person will host a late night talk show on TV should ideally hold as much interest for us as which custodian will change the lights in the third grade classroom in a school two states away.

Posted by: Furious George at April 10, 2014 09:17 AM (yFb77)

251 Gutfeld was freakin' KILLING me last night, Red Eye was so funny. Haven't laughed that hard at Red Eye in a long time. Now HE would have been a great replacement. Posted by: Citizen X at April 10, 2014 01:16 PM (7ObY1) yeah, it's a great show. He mentioned how hard it is to get guests on his show, because they are afraid the backlash. Sad. He seems to have a poop fetish, I noticed. Brings it up a lot.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 10, 2014 09:18 AM (IXrOn)

252 ME NO LIKEY!!!

Posted by: Hong Suk Dik at April 10, 2014 09:18 AM (csE5D)

253 243 just yesterday people were saying they wanted ace to do late night...in disquise of course.

Posted by: concrete girl at April 10, 2014 01:16 PM (Hcorn)


I long to see ace do standup with a paper bag over his head a la the Unknown Comic.

Posted by: joncelli at April 10, 2014 09:18 AM (RD7QR)

254 It's possible he did turn it down. Posted by: artisanal 'ette even better for ferguson, no temptation. his show and he are where they should be.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2014 09:18 AM (rDidD)

255 248 I have never heard Gutfield "gay schtick". You've never heard about Gutfeld's Haitian poolboys, that he keeps chained up naked in the basement when they aren't "working?"

Posted by: Citizen X at April 10, 2014 09:18 AM (7ObY1)

256 I didn't know there were any Republican talk show hosts. At least Leno isn't an asshole.

Posted by: free tibet, etc. at April 10, 2014 09:18 AM (6wqZn)

257 Looks like Kaeper had a zipper control problem. Possibly some rape control problem as well. Breaking News ‏@BreakingNews General manager says 49ers in 'process of gathering the pertinent facts' regarding sexual assault allegation involving QB Kaepernick - @TMZ

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 09:18 AM (ZPrif)

258

235 -

 

Ok, just wanted  to be sure.  Yes, he is married, and he's not gay.  But he tosses comments out there all the time.  Like I said, I've read him much more than I've  watched his  shows, but it's there.

 

He'll say something like "I wanted to know what real Americans  had to say about the Obamacare exchanges, so I asked my illegal Guatamalan houseboy  while he was giving me my daily massage."

Posted by: BurtTC at April 10, 2014 09:18 AM (TOk1P)

259 You know how many fanbois traded in their iPhone 5s's for the cs? I'm guessing not many. There's your comparison. Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 10, 2014 01:16 PM (HDwDg) __________ Not a valid comparison. They don't have to trade in anything. It's not like they have to give up a show to watch another. There is still only 1 show with Colbert, just on a different channel at a different time. It's more like trading the iphone5s white versio for the iphone 5s gold version

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at April 10, 2014 09:18 AM (0LHZx)

260 This is a boring argument. This is just the No True Scotsman fallacy. If you think you have access to some objective definition of "Good" comedy or "true" comedy then ... whatever. Nothing I say will convince you otherwise. I didn't claim there was one definition of good comedy, or that it was mine. But your argument is that things of poor quality cannot be considered poor quality if they sell well, or that we can't determine if something has poor quality. That's not true. Most of Colbert's schtick is about bias confirmation, not humor. That's not me asserting One True definition of comedy, it's my observation. It seems like you're the one doing the rules enforcing.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at April 10, 2014 09:19 AM (NersQ)

261 Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at April 10, 2014 01:14 PM (0LHZx) But, see, if that's really what played well, Leno would be doing it, Letterman would be doing it, or Colbert would already be making more money than either of them. There's a *reason* he only does that schtick on Comedy Central. So when he moves to CBS, he'll at least have to tone it down- and probably all but eliminate it. Apple Fanbois may buy anything with the Apple logo on it in general, but do you believe that would apply to a MacBook that explicitly ran Windows?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 10, 2014 09:19 AM (PYAXX)

262 From the short clips I've seen, Colbert seems like a grade A dbag. I thought he is playing himself on the Colbert Show.

Posted by: Titanium at April 10, 2014 09:19 AM (JLKJJ)

263 Like Tango, I pretty much quit watching after Carson retired. A lot of Carson's shtick mimicked Jack Benny's, but I recon if you're going to copy someone, copy the best.

Posted by: Countrysquire at April 10, 2014 09:19 AM (LSJmV)

264 I long to see ace do standup with a paper bag over his head a la the Unknown Comic. Posted by: joncelli at April 10, 2014 01:18 PM (RD7QR) God help the first audience member who mutters that he's seen/heard this before.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 09:19 AM (da5Wo)

265 Who the hell watches late night shows for the interviews?

Letterman's show should have lasted 15 minutes so he could just throw things out a window and make fun of Larry "Looks like an owl!" King.

Posted by: Shoot Me at April 10, 2014 09:19 AM (EQcfE)

266 Which person will host a late night talk show on TV should ideally hold as much interest for us as which custodian will change the lights in the third grade classroom in a school two states away.

That custodian isn't going to train millions of stupid people to view us as subhuman.  Someone should probably take an interest.

Which isn't the same as watching it, or pretending it's funny.

Posted by: HR at April 10, 2014 09:20 AM (ZKzrr)

267 Not putting up pictures of George W. Bush with crosshairs superimposed over it and the graphic "Snipers Wanted." Anymore.

Posted by: NC Ref at April 10, 2014 01:16 PM (Myqtp)

Which, in and of itself, is hilarious. 

As if hippies can shoot.

Posted by: tangonine at April 10, 2014 09:20 AM (x3YFz)

268 He mentioned how hard it is to get guests on his show, because they are afraid the backlash. Sad. In the back of his new book, he has a list of "cool" celebs. Not a very long list, and they've all been on his show as guests. That is kind of sad.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 10, 2014 09:20 AM (7ObY1)

269 It's like replacing degraded uranium with nuclear waste: fucking radioactive. Then again, I can't think of a single CBS show I ever watched regularly (other than the original Twilight Zone in syndicated reruns) so it's not like this changes my habits.

Posted by: Naes1984 at April 10, 2014 09:20 AM (LiHKo)

270 well if someone decided ferguson was not the right guy for letterman's time, how the fuck is colbert the right guy?

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2014 09:21 AM (rDidD)

271 257 Looks like Kaeper had a zipper control problem. Possibly some rape control problem as well.

Breaking News ‏@BreakingNews
General manager says 49ers in 'process of gathering the pertinent facts' regarding sexual assault allegation involving QB Kaepernick - @TMZ

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 01:18 PM (ZPrif)


Pfft. A couple million dollars and a suspended sentence and you're back in the saddle.

Posted by: Big Ben at April 10, 2014 09:21 AM (RD7QR)

272 No. It's just broad appeal. I thought it was funny. Didn't know if anyone else would. What I mean is that among women who like Twilight, I don't agree that they're all creepy 40+yr olds who want some rumpy bumpy with a 17yr old. If that were true, Twilight would sell about as well as any random Harlequin novel, which is good, but not $5.7 Billions good.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/s][/i][/b][/s] at April 10, 2014 09:21 AM (qKrH5)

273 By definition.

Posted by: tangonine at April 10, 2014 01:17 PM (x3YFz)

Incorrect.

The only definition I accept is:

"If I don't laugh, it isn't funny."

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 10, 2014 09:21 AM (QFxY5)

274 Hmmm. Why not. And for once I can access AoS from Istanbul (did Pixy fix that?). Colbert - great idea (though I'd say that, of course), great character, joke is old. You have to figure he drew up a whole new show outline for CBS before they said yes, but...I'm curious to see what else he's got. Ferguson - I have seen one comic live in the last 10 years, and it was Ferguson. He was funny and likeable, but strangely enough, around minute 30 he started to get a little hacky, leaning on toilet and sex jokes. His show is more clever than his standup act. Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel: Ugh. Painful interviewers, just...yikes. Best interviewer on TV right now: Chelsea Handler. Quick, fearless, funny, and just edgy enough. Plus, estrogen. That would have been my choice.

Posted by: A Liberal AoS Reader, Really! at April 10, 2014 09:21 AM (NgsCI)

275 He'll say something like "I wanted to know what real Americans had to say about the Obamacare exchanges, so I asked my illegal Guatamalan houseboy while he was giving me my daily massage." Right, or if there's a pic of some male actor up, he'll do a double-take and say something like "What was I saying? I was lost in his dreamy eyes for a minute."

Posted by: Citizen X at April 10, 2014 09:21 AM (7ObY1)

276 But, see, if that's really what played well, Leno would be doing it, Letterman would be doing it, or Colbert would already be making more money than either of them. There's a *reason* he only does that schtick on Comedy Central. So when he moves to CBS, he'll at least have to tone it down- and probably all but eliminate it. Apple Fanbois may buy anything with the Apple logo on it in general, but do you believe that would apply to a MacBook that explicitly ran Windows? Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 10, 2014 01:19 PM (PYAXX) __________ Hmmm..interesting question. I guess it will depend how different the show is on CBS vs. Comedy Central. But keep in mind it is Comedy Central, not some obscure network that's channel 482 on DirectTV. Comey Central is like ESPN. Everyone gets it, everyone watches it. So going from Comedy to CBS is definitely a change, but it's not THAT big of a change, IMO.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at April 10, 2014 09:22 AM (0LHZx)

277 "He's going to mock being a host who mocks being a host of a late night talk show."

Sorry, weft, I've been there and done it so well that anyone else would be a fool to try.

Posted by: Martin Mull, Host of Fernwood Tonight at April 10, 2014 09:22 AM (K1YYB)

278 Pfft. A couple million dollars and a suspended sentence and you're back in the saddle. Posted by: Big Ben at April 10, 2014 01:21 PM (RD7QR) ISWYDT

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 10, 2014 09:22 AM (PYAXX)

279 I'm going with Giorgio. The aliens will back him up if he gets in trouble. Posted by: joncelli at April 10, 2014 01:11 PM (RD7QR) True, true, but I'm thinking that Gowdy can always call in Traficant for back up.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 09:22 AM (mf5HN)

280 Well, if no one laughs, it's not funny. By definition. -- Actually, no. You'll see tons of professional comedians say they saw some other comedian doing a show and it was great, but it just didn't connect with the audience. There are comedy bits, and music, and literature, that bombs at the time it is released, but later audiences decide is genius and funny and brilliant. Something can be a subjective failure then and a subjective hit now because tastes change and sometimes a comedian, musician, writer is ahead or behind of changing tastes. Tons of stuff is hugely popular at one time which is later derided as stupid and sucky -- the Left looks at most of American history that way.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 09:22 AM (ZPrif)

281 ok just read reviews of one of his books he does toss out a joke about a pre-op transgendered pool boy so its in his writing but its not in his television appearances

Posted by: thunderb at April 10, 2014 09:22 AM (zOTsN)

282 CBS picking Colbert to replace Letterman is simple bias confirmation.

Posted by: tasker at April 10, 2014 09:23 AM (RJMhd)

283 Wait, so the "Great" in the post title is sarcastic, yes?

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 09:23 AM (O96tM)

284 Colbert will work out as well as Dennis Miller on MNF.

Posted by: Titanium at April 10, 2014 09:23 AM (JLKJJ)

285 I pretty much quit watching after Carson retired. A lot of Carson's shtick mimicked Jack Benny's, but I recon if you're going to copy someone, copy the best.

Posted by: Countrysquire at April 10, 2014 01:19 PM (LSJmV)

Getting old, too, I see.  If you say your mom ushered you out of the room when the Benny Hill Show came on then we're on the same page.

Posted by: tangonine at April 10, 2014 09:23 AM (x3YFz)

286

I long to see ace do standup with a paper bag over his head a la the Unknown Comic.

Posted by: joncelli at April 10, 2014 01:18 PM (RD7QR)

 

Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to the Unknown Chingabasura!



Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 10, 2014 09:23 AM (zF6Iw)

287 Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at April 10, 2014 01:22 PM (0LHZx) The bar is set considerably lower on cable. Colbert was beat by reruns on cartoon network and TBS. CBS is not going to let that fly.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No Really!) at April 10, 2014 09:23 AM (HDwDg)

288 What, exactly, do you get from watching late night shows? /awaits. Where else can you see a masturbating bear...I mean, besides the zoo.

Posted by: resist we much at April 10, 2014 09:24 AM (u0wJh)

289 but its not in his television appearances Allrighty then. I must be watching a different Red Eye every night.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 10, 2014 09:24 AM (7ObY1)

290 That custodian isn't going to train millions of stupid people to view us as subhuman. Someone should probably take an interest. Which isn't the same as watching it, or pretending it's funny. Posted by: HR _____________ Good point. Two thoughts: 1) our taking an interest will not yield results in today's hipster-douchebag culture; and 2) said host won't be training leftist dolts, merely attracting folks who have already chosen to be leftist dolts.

Posted by: Furious George at April 10, 2014 09:24 AM (yFb77)

291

275 -

 

Heh.  Exactly.  I don't know how anyone could miss it.  It's kind  of  his bread and butter. 

 

And again, for those who are missing the point.  No, Greg Gutfeld is NOT gay!  That's part of the gag (pun intended). 

Posted by: BurtTC at April 10, 2014 09:24 AM (TOk1P)

292 I have a feeling he, colbert, is a place holder for obama.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2014 09:24 AM (rDidD)

293 Where else can you see a masturbating bear...I mean, besides the zoo.

Posted by: resist we much at April 10, 2014 01:24 PM (u0wJh)

 

My webcam feed.

Posted by: Andrew Sullivan at April 10, 2014 09:24 AM (DrWcr)

294 I think Eric Holder would be great in that time slot.

Posted by: Trey Gowdy at April 10, 2014 09:25 AM (1Boes)

295 Liberals are inherently unfunny. Good edgy-political humor needs a bit of truth to it, but the Lefties always base their humor on political interest rather than truth. They can make jokes about the GOP being the KKK, not because the GOP has ties to the GOP, but because their political bias dictates they pretend so. It's self-limiting humor wise. It will always attract the trained seal idiots, but nobody who likes good jokes.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 10, 2014 09:25 AM (ZshNr)

296
Colbert will work out as well as Dennis Miller on MNF.
Posted by: Titanium




Needs more Jinky the Fruit Bat.....

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at April 10, 2014 09:25 AM (kdS6q)

297 I confess I have seen more The Five than Red Eye, so he must alter his comments to the time slot

Posted by: thunderb at April 10, 2014 09:25 AM (zOTsN)

298 Hey Merovign? You still here? Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 01:17 PM (da5Wo) Occasionally.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at April 10, 2014 09:25 AM (qyfb5)

299 Twilight is an objectively successful book and movie series. But there is no objective definition of Quality. That's what most of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance was about, by the way, the author's mental illness caused by him getting obsessed about finding an objective definition of Quality. It's a futile waste of time. Different people have different tastes

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 09:25 AM (ZPrif)

300 The only definition I accept is:

"If I don't laugh, it isn't funny."

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 10, 2014 01:21 PM (QFxY5)

uh... isn't that exactly what I said?

Posted by: tangonine at April 10, 2014 09:25 AM (x3YFz)

301

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at April 10, 2014 01:18 PM (0LHZx)

 

 

Success in one type of show with one particular demographic appeal does not automatically ensure success with a different show with another demographic appeal.  Are the people who watch the Colbert Report to watch Steven "Bill O'Reilly" Colbert the same people who will watch Steven Colbert interview some actress about her last movie, her changing personal life, and then segue to meeting with the director of a Animal Rescue group talking about the Great Horned Owl that is on its way to healing?

 

I wish I could be as certain about things like that, but my experience is there are few people who can do that role - more of a facilitator or moderator than an actor.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Days of Rage Sale at the Outrage Outlet! at April 10, 2014 09:25 AM (hLRSq)

302 I must be watching a different Red Eye every night. ------- Yeah I don't really watch it anymore mainly because of its time slot and I already DVR too many shows but I do remember him mentioning have boys chained in his basement, ect.

Posted by: Adam at April 10, 2014 09:25 AM (Aif/5)

303
Ferguson would have been awesome, I have always liked him.  Hoping he gets an earlier slot somewhere else.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at April 10, 2014 09:26 AM (hUf/y)

304 Ties to the KKK

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 10, 2014 09:26 AM (ZshNr)

305 But keep in mind it is Comedy Central, not some obscure network that's channel 482 on DirectTV. Comey Central is like ESPN. Everyone gets it, everyone watches it. So going from Comedy to CBS is definitely a change, but it's not THAT big of a change, IMO. It's going from the 11:30 time-slot (Eastern) on Comedy Central to the 11:30 time-slot on CBS. I'm willing to bet CC gets clobbered by CBS in that time-slot (though I don't have those numbers at my finger-tips). Far fewer people watch Comedy Central at 11:30 PM than you seem to think.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 10, 2014 09:26 AM (PYAXX)

306 I cry foul on invoking the "No True Scotsman" fallacy when you're talking about Craig Ferguson. That's not even funny, right there. Laddie.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at April 10, 2014 09:26 AM (xq1UY)

307 We used to get Benny Hill in Houston on Channel 39 at 10:00 on weeknights when I was in school. Came on right after Make Me Laugh. Now off my lawn.

Posted by: Countrysquire at April 10, 2014 09:27 AM (LSJmV)

308 God help the first audience member who mutters that he's seen/heard this before. Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 10, 2014 01:19 PM (da5Wo) I hereby volunteer me and MWR to be the Hot Air Button girls so that when someone does that, we can bash that person over the head with a giant Hot Air Button.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 09:27 AM (mf5HN)

309 My favorite memory of Craig Ferguson is the year he hosted the Boston Pops' "Pops Goes the Fourth!" celebration    while being delightfully, genially    shitfaced.   lol!   



The man's adorable,     no    bones about it.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 09:27 AM (4df7R)

310 And a Ferguson link just appeared in the sidebar.

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at April 10, 2014 09:27 AM (AC0lD)

311 Liberals are inherently unfunny. -- huh? The majority of working comedians and comedy writers are left-wing. Usually not super activist left-wing, though some are, but still left-wing. I have no problem hating and criticizing them. I don't get the insisting they aren't funny.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 09:27 AM (ZPrif)

312 Colbert is a moldy bag of used douche-fluid. I hope he kills CBS dead.

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at April 10, 2014 09:27 AM (vHRtU)

313 An 11:30 host has been thought to need two things to succeed.

First, he had to be funny, obviously.

Well, no.  First, he had to be hired, and to be hired, he had to be a left-wing douchebag.  That's been standard at the networks for a couple of decades now.

Posted by: Null at April 10, 2014 09:28 AM (P7hip)

314 “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go grind a gap in my front teeth develop heart disease,” he quipped. Hahahahahahaha!

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 09:28 AM (O96tM)

315 I thought Ferguson was a recovering alcoholic

Posted by: thunderb at April 10, 2014 09:28 AM (zOTsN)

316

297 -

 

Now that you mention it, I may have never seen a single episode of The Five, so it's possible he was told to  keep it under wraps. 

 

Which would be interesting.  Now I'm curious to see  what  he's like  WITHOUT the gay stuff. 

Posted by: BurtTC at April 10, 2014 09:28 AM (TOk1P)

317 uh... isn't that exactly what I said?

Posted by: tangonine at April 10, 2014 01:25 PM (x3YFz)

Not exactly:

"Well, if no one laughs, it's not funny. By definition."

I don't care whether no one else on the planet laughs....

Hell; my wife tells me I am not funny at all, but I think I am!


Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 10, 2014 09:28 AM (QFxY5)

318 ...I long to see ace do standup with a paper bag over his head a la the Unknown Comic. or a chuck barris, gong show type role...that guy held himself some power.

Posted by: concrete girl at April 10, 2014 09:28 AM (Hcorn)

319 Going for someone like this Chelsea Handler chick (?) or a Joan Rivers type (preferably with her talent) might be interesting. From a ratings standpoint, I mean. All of these late shows are pretty much alike, aren't they? Keep politics out of it and concentrate on the more gossipy aspect. Talk about shoes!

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at April 10, 2014 09:28 AM (dfYL9)

320 I hereby volunteer me and MWR to be the Hot Air Button girls so that when someone does that, we can bash that person over the head with a giant Hot Air Button.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 01:27 PM (mf5HN)



OOHOOH!   I    am   totally down with head bashing!  



What are we head bashing people with Hot Air buttons for anyway?     Not that it matters, because *BASH BASH BASH!*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 09:28 AM (4df7R)

321
Colbert will give CBS what Letterman gave them, a name with one funny joke a month, but with constant leftism for the clapping monkeys and shots at conservatives.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at April 10, 2014 09:29 AM (hUf/y)

322 colbert is a moron for making a move as well. if someone loved him they would have told him he was lucky to have a job. he was able to make his character work because no on knew who he was. once he leaves his "personality" he is screwed and after he gets fired from lettermans gig he has nowhere to go.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2014 09:29 AM (rDidD)

323 I liked Letterman back in the day...I guess the Chris Elliot days...mainly because he had bands that you didn't really see anywhere else. I lasted about a week once he moved into his new slot. It was bad enough that he didn't carry over the edginess, but when Paul Schafer started playing his cheese WITH the bands? I was out.

Posted by: resist we much at April 10, 2014 09:29 AM (u0wJh)

324 Specifically, I don't find any Leftist political humor funny. Yes, all the big comedians are Liberals and I've laughed at Larry David creations, even Scott MacFarlane, for years. They are funny.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 10, 2014 09:29 AM (ZshNr)

325 1) our taking an interest will not yield results in today's hipster-douchebag culture; and 2) said host won't be training leftist dolts, merely attracting folks who have already chosen to be leftist dolts.

1) True.  More of a situational awareness thing.
2) Kind of disagree.  I think a lot of people don't actively choose to become a leftist dolt; they just perceive that it's popular to be one (whether it is or not, but that's all they're exposed to) so they follow along.

Posted by: HR at April 10, 2014 09:30 AM (ZKzrr)

326

Where else can you see a masturbating bear...I mean, besides the zoo.

 

Posted by: resist we much at April 10, 2014 01:24 PM (u0wJh)

 

 

 

My webcam feed.

 

 

Posted by: Andrew Sullivan at April 10, 2014 01:24 PM (DrWcr)

 

 

 

I have an inside  perspective! 

Posted by: Timothy Treadwell at April 10, 2014 09:30 AM (BAS5M)

327 Also, as I said the other day, Andy Levy. I watch Gutfeld almost every night. I love that show. The show with Sunny and Nick? Laughed out loud over and over. Only reliable giggles I get from TV. I thought TV's Andy Levy was unique and terrific under the old format but he still adds a lot on the panel. He's a very funny guy. Neither of them would work out as a traditional late night talk host though.

Posted by: Daybrother at April 10, 2014 09:30 AM (8wH5z)

328 Seth McFarlane

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 09:30 AM (O96tM)

329 The last time I watched Colbert, he was on his knees looking up at me like a gopher.

What were you doing on your knees, Steve?  Huh? Huh?

Posted by: Arec Bardwin at April 10, 2014 09:30 AM (oJUxt)

330 Personally I won't be watching Colbert when he replaces Letterman. But I suspect he'll be moderately successful in that role. I think Fallon will beat Colbert, though. I think Fallon's dumber humor and music skits appeal to more women and more people enjoy his non-threatening nature. But we'll see. I won't watch either except when some skit they do goes viral.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 09:30 AM (ZPrif)

331 btw, is Seth short for something, or is that it?

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 09:30 AM (O96tM)

332 I almost wrote "the Family Guy"-guy. I got close.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 10, 2014 09:31 AM (ZshNr)

333 Colbert is a moldy bag of used douche-fluid. I hope he kills CBS dead. Posted by: OG Celtic-American seriously funny, nearly hacked up a lung. funnier than anything colbert ever said.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2014 09:31 AM (rDidD)

334 Has anyone seen Colbert as a comedian not playing a character?  That's what's so incredibly stupid about this decision.  He's never been tested in the role, and he's not getting "training wheels"on a later slot, he's been given the flagship spot in late night.

I mean, Chris Farley was hysterical as the fat guy character running around and brought big numbers to SNL in the 90's, but you wouldn't have given him a late night show.

Colbert is the wiseass O'Reilly impersenator that gets the liberal college kids who are into politics.  I don't see that transition to CBS when he has to drop that character.

Posted by: McAdams at April 10, 2014 09:31 AM (x13zk)

335 Craig Ferguson Will Net $8 Million for Not Being Hired. $8 million penalty clause if he isn't hired to replace Letterman. Chickenfeed, really ************** Chickenfeed? Ferguson must have a whole fleet of poulets.

Posted by: tasker at April 10, 2014 09:31 AM (RJMhd)

336 No True Scotsman would be subject to confirmation bias. 


Yeah.

Posted by: Kinley Ardal at April 10, 2014 09:31 AM (9LuAk)

337

I hereby volunteer me and MWR to be the Hot Air
Button girls so that when someone does that, we can bash that person
over the head with a giant Hot Air Button.


Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 01:27 PM (mf5HN)

 

I thought MWR was slotted for the "Girls on Trampolines" bit?

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 10, 2014 09:32 AM (zF6Iw)

338 Soothsayerism #5: Always stick with what you know.

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 09:32 AM (O96tM)

339 Jimmy Carter: Southern White Men Drawn To GOP Because of RacismÂ… Weasel Zippers: And others in the South are drawn to the Democratic Party because they are dog shit stupid. I guess we know which you are jimmy ha?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 10, 2014 09:32 AM (t3UFN)

340 I thought Ferguson was a recovering alcoholic Posted by: thunderb So is Letterman.

Posted by: Daybrother at April 10, 2014 09:32 AM (5jJ0l)

341 I don't see that transition to CBS when he has to drop that character. Posted by: McAdams at April 10, 2014 01:31 PM (x13zk) *************** I stopped watching his show when he dropped "the character" must have been the first month....

Posted by: tasker at April 10, 2014 09:32 AM (RJMhd)

342 I think a lot of people don't actively choose to become a leftist dolt; they just perceive that it's popular to be one (whether it is or not, but that's all they're exposed to) so they follow along. Posted by: HR ____________________________ Agree that there has always been the "cool kid" factor in being a lefty, but . . . where the heck was I going with this? Maybe when I use the term "leftist dolt" I'm just repeating myself.

Posted by: Furious George at April 10, 2014 09:33 AM (yFb77)

343 ferguson is recovering from about everything.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2014 09:33 AM (rDidD)

344 So basically this like exchanging a coiled 14" turd for a quart of diarrhea.

Posted by: Man who cleans toilets at April 10, 2014 09:33 AM (R5UOB)

345 340 I thought Ferguson was a recovering alcoholic Posted by: thunderb So is Letterman. Posted by: Daybrother at April 10, 2014 01:32 PM (5jJ0l) *********** Holy crap --didn't know that. All Colbert would have to do is draw on a gap in his teeth-- and he's Letterman!

Posted by: tasker at April 10, 2014 09:33 AM (RJMhd)

346 I thought MWR was slotted for the "Girls on Trampolines" bit?

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 10, 2014 01:32 PM (zF6Iw)



I   can multitask.


*bounce up on trampoline*


*WHACK! someone over the head with Hot Air button on descent*


*repeat*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 09:34 AM (4df7R)

347 hey, remember when Letterman treated one (or several) of his young woman staffers very badly...after he got sex from them?

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 09:34 AM (O96tM)

348 I thought Ferguson was a recovering alcoholic Posted by: thunderb So is Letterman. Posted by: Daybrother my only point being was that Ferguson being tipsy at an appearance with the Boston Pops would be a cause for concern

Posted by: thunderb at April 10, 2014 09:34 AM (zOTsN)

349 Waiting for the apocalyptic thud of Colbert's failure.

Posted by: --- at April 10, 2014 09:34 AM (MMC8r)

350 He ought to grind down that one ear, after fixing his teeth.

Posted by: the littl shyning man at April 10, 2014 09:34 AM (tmFlQ)

351
did letterman ever get divorced for banging the help at his show?

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at April 10, 2014 09:34 AM (hUf/y)

352 I can multitask.
*bounce up on trampoline*
*WHACK! someone over the head with Hot Air button on descent*
*repeat*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 01:34 PM (4df7R)

 

Ratings gold!

Posted by: Insomniac at April 10, 2014 09:34 AM (DrWcr)

353

OT:  Noticed at ABC that Obama will be speaking at the 50th Anniversary of the passage of the Civil RightÂ’s Act. 

 

Two questions. 


First, will he mentioned the following numbers?:

 

House of Representatives:

Democrats for:       152 (61%)

Democrats against:    96

Republicans for:     138 (80%)

Republicans against:  34

 

Senate:

Democrats for:        46 (69%)

Democrats against:    21

Republicans for:      27 (82%)

Republicans against:   6

 

Second.  Will Obama hail the progress blacks have made in fighting discrimination through this law, but lament the fact that now Christians are discriminated against for their beliefs?

 

Yeah, two stupid questions, I know.

Posted by: Sharkman at April 10, 2014 09:35 AM (TM1p8)

354 So-- has anyone solved Maet's ONT puzzles yet?

Posted by: tasker at April 10, 2014 09:35 AM (RJMhd)

355 @343: "ferguson is recovering from about everything." Including a punk rock youth. Just imagine being 18 in 1980 while living in Glasgow.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at April 10, 2014 09:35 AM (kqGWM)

356 my only point being was that Ferguson being tipsy at an appearance with the Boston Pops would be a cause for concern

Posted by: thunderb at April 10, 2014 01:34 PM (zOTsN)


This was several years ago, and it's entirely possible he was only   drunk on the excitement,   since he's so enamored of America and it's a helluva show;   lots of pageantry   and flag waving and people dressed up in red white and blue. 

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 09:35 AM (4df7R)

357 Come to me...

Posted by: Da Barrel at April 10, 2014 09:35 AM (Aif/5)

358 Sharkman to the white courtesy phone!

Posted by: The Barrel at April 10, 2014 09:36 AM (RJMhd)

359 Come to me, Sharkman.

Posted by: The Barrel at April 10, 2014 09:36 AM (DrWcr)

360 at least this guarantees one less shitty show on comedy central. that's kind of a win. Of course once his ratings tank and CBS fires him we'll be rid of him all together.

Posted by: Vote Lord Humungus 2016 at April 10, 2014 09:36 AM (HEa5q)

361 Sharkman, BARREL.     Soooo much Barrel.


Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 09:36 AM (4df7R)

362 I'm surprised CBS didn't just make it official and hire Obama.

He's certainly been on enough late night shows to be qualified.

Posted by: WolfinNC at April 10, 2014 09:36 AM (HELQE)

363 Don't touch the wet spot in the barrel, sharkman. Or the dry spots, for that matter.

Posted by: Citizen X at April 10, 2014 09:36 AM (7ObY1)

364

Jimmy Carter: Southern White Men Drawn To GOP Because of RacismÂ…

 

Why that senile old Jew-baiter isn't cowering in a dark corner of hell gargling Satan's balls is a question that the nation ponders.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 10, 2014 09:36 AM (zF6Iw)

365 C'mon in Sharkman.  The sludge is fine!

Posted by: The Barrel at April 10, 2014 09:36 AM (BAS5M)

366

Posted by: Sharkman at April 10, 2014 01:35 PM (TM1p


An excellent point, but barrel nonetheless.

Posted by: Big Ben at April 10, 2014 09:36 AM (RD7QR)

367 >>>So basically this like exchanging a coiled 14" turd for a quart of diarrhea.<<<

Dude.  And a bucket of chicken farts.

Posted by: Arec Bardwin at April 10, 2014 09:36 AM (oJUxt)

368 If I were doing sketch comedy, I would do a skit about an old Soviet tv show starring a "comedian" who apes a middle class business owner and mocks Kulaks and other enemies of The State. The funny thing is, I wouldn't *have* to write it to mock Colbert and Stewart, it would do so by its very nature.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at April 10, 2014 09:36 AM (qyfb5)

369 Ferguson's Sid the Cussing Bunny cracks me up.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HKOHxHDoGI

Posted by: Muad'dib at April 10, 2014 09:37 AM (sjdRT)

370 Your agonizer, Mr. Sharkman. . .

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 10, 2014 09:37 AM (zF6Iw)

371 Sharkman: There will be selfies. Many many selfies.

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at April 10, 2014 09:37 AM (R5UOB)

372 OOHOOH! I am totally down with head bashing! What are we head bashing people with Hot Air buttons for anyway? Not that it matters, because *BASH BASH BASH!* Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 01:28 PM (4df7R) I knew I had you at head bashing. In somewhat related news, I have finally tracked down the best explanation of the 'Ettes yet: http://bit.ly/OKHmdH

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 09:37 AM (mf5HN)

373
Where else can you see a masturbating bear...I mean, besides the zoo.
Posted by: resist we much




At the beach in Provicetown MA -- on any given Summer weekend....

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at April 10, 2014 09:37 AM (kdS6q)

374 So.

Colbert will stop being a pretend Republican douchebag and become the real douchebag that he is?

How will anyone know the difference?

You all know he'll diss and dismiss Republicans/Conservatives and pretend to say stuff Republicans/Conservatives would supposedly say.

So what's the difference?

I don't watch any of them anymore but I might be interested to see Craig Ferguson in that spot because he's, like you know, FUNNY!

Why do we even pay attention to these whores any more?

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That (Waiting For SMODOT) at April 10, 2014 09:37 AM (JS0vr)

375 Interesting that Jon Stewart gets the snub. This means The Daily Show is the end of the line for him. He'll never do anything bigger or better. Just milk this for as long as he can and keep dyeing his hair to keep from being replaced.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 09:38 AM (ZPrif)

376 false
false
false

EN-US
X-NONE
X-NONE

-----

I'll take "Number of Successful Escapes From The Barrel" for $1000.00 Alex

Posted by: fixerupper at April 10, 2014 09:38 AM (nELVU)

377 btw, is Seth short for something, or is that it? That's it. Adam and Eve's third son was called Seth. It means Appointed.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/s][/i][/b][/s] at April 10, 2014 09:38 AM (qKrH5)

378

Where else can you see a masturbating bear...I mean, besides the zoo.
Posted by: resist we much

 

City park in San Francsisco?

Posted by: Insomniac at April 10, 2014 09:38 AM (DrWcr)

379 who gives a shit?

i mean really: who watches this crap, other than mouth breathing window lickers?

Posted by: redc1c4 at April 10, 2014 09:38 AM (q+fqH)

380 If I recall accurately, letterman was not married when banging his intern and he did not treat her badly. I do not think he married his current wife until their kid was 5 or so.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2014 09:38 AM (rDidD)

381 I understand Alec Baldwin is available.

Get him liquored up and bring nothing but actors who are still in the closet....then just sit back.

Posted by: Paladin at April 10, 2014 09:38 AM (YNPwP)

382 ferguson is recovering from about everything. Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2014 01:33 PM (rDidD) which makes him humble

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 10, 2014 09:38 AM (IXrOn)

383 Reading Colbert's Wiki is fascinating. He's death in his right ear, he is the youngest of 11 RC kids. He is a practicing Catholic, so you won't get that bias. His dad was dean of med school at Yale, then St Louis, then U South Carolina. He is a fuck off. When to best private school in Charleston, didn't do shit. His Episcopal HS school got him into Hampton Syndey also Episcopal, in VA, an all boys college known as the preppiest place in VA. THAT is hard. Then he transfer to NW. His dad and two brothers died in Eastern Airline Crash in 64 when asshole pilots flew a plane into the woods a mile short of Charlotte runway. They lived half the rest died. He's a trade up from Letterman.

Posted by: Nip Sip at April 10, 2014 09:39 AM (0FSuD)

384
I knew I had you at head bashing.


What can I say?  I'm transparent in so many ways.



In somewhat related news, I have finally tracked down the best explanation of the 'Ettes yet:

http://bit.ly/OKHmdH

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 01:37 PM (mf5HN)


PERFECT.   And the allusion to a fawn just makes it easier for me to    *frolic!*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 09:39 AM (4df7R)

385 I assume Comedy Central will try a new comedy news show to replace Colbert.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 09:39 AM (ZPrif)

386 An ideological decision was made, as opposed to a business one. The had Ferguson waiting in the wings who had proven himself to be funny and broadly likeable, and they picked a sarcastic liberal douchenozzle.

Posted by: Reggie 1971 at April 10, 2014 09:39 AM (UQ3Cy)

387 They should have hired Lena "Tater" Dunham.

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 10, 2014 09:39 AM (GW+jL)

388 I understand Alec Baldwin is available. Get him liquored up and bring nothing but actors who are still in the closet....then just sit back. Posted by: Paladin That I'd watch.

Posted by: Countrysquire at April 10, 2014 09:40 AM (LSJmV)

389 Not putting up pictures of George W. Bush with crosshairs superimposed over it and the graphic "Snipers Wanted." Anymore. Posted by: NC Ref at April 10, 2014 01:16 PM (Myqtp) Holy crap! Really!? Not cool Kilborn. Not. cool.

Posted by: Mainah at April 10, 2014 09:40 AM (659DL)

390 which makes him humble Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April and kinda key to him staying offa everything.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2014 09:40 AM (rDidD)

391 He's death in his right ear, ************** And you all know what hole I deal death from....

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at April 10, 2014 09:40 AM (RJMhd)

392 376 Interesting that Jon Stewart gets the snub. Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 01:38 PM (ZPrif) ---------------------- Yes. Why not Stewart? I would think he would do better.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at April 10, 2014 09:41 AM (dfYL9)

393 Ferguson is adorable.  I really can't say that enough.    I love a Scottish accent, and paired with a great sense of humor?   Be still my    heart!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 09:41 AM (4df7R)

394 so was jerry springer even considered? I am guessing maury povich said no.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2014 09:41 AM (rDidD)

395 Sharkman, you might want to clean out the thermite stains before hopping into the old barrel first.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Days of Rage Sale at the Outrage Outlet! at April 10, 2014 09:41 AM (hLRSq)

396 Nip Sip: Wiki you say? Well that makes sense then. Case closed.

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at April 10, 2014 09:41 AM (R5UOB)

397 And the allusion to a fawn just makes it easier for me to *frolic!* Wait! Wait! Dammit! Who forgot to set up the camera!?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 10, 2014 09:41 AM (PYAXX)

398 388 They should have hired Lena "Tattoed Tater" Dunham. Posted by: WalrusRex at April 10, 2014 01:39 PM (GW+jL) FIFY

Posted by: Nip Sip at April 10, 2014 09:42 AM (0FSuD)

399 PERFECT. And the allusion to a fawn just makes it easier for me to *frolic!* Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 01:39 PM (4df7R) Our Hot Air Button girl costumes: http://bit.ly/1iyr7ID

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 09:42 AM (mf5HN)

400
Has anyone seen Colbert as a comedian not playing a character? That's what's so incredibly stupid about this decision. He's never been tested in the role, and he's not getting "training wheels"on a later slot, he's been given the flagship spot in late night.
Posted by: McAdams



If you mean a character other than his CCConservative -- yes.

He's a Second City alum, and beside Strangers With Candy he did that Exit 57 sketch show.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at April 10, 2014 09:42 AM (kdS6q)

401 @376: "Interesting that Jon Stewart gets the snub." Not really. As soon as John Oliver jumped ship for HBO after his gig as substitute Daily Show host for however long, then it shoulda been obvious that Stewart wasn't going anywhere.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at April 10, 2014 09:42 AM (kqGWM)

402 Comedy Central has left-wing geek comic Hardwick on @midnight. He also does Talking Dead for AMC. Many weeks the #2 rated show on cable, with Walking Dead #1.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 09:42 AM (ZPrif)

403 Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 01:42 PM (mf5HN) That sound you hear is all the 'Rons hitting their bunks in perfect synchronization.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at April 10, 2014 09:43 AM (PYAXX)

404 Gutfeld has a gay schtick?

Posted by: Tami at April 10, 2014 01:10 PM (bCEmE)


The whole "House Boys in Bondage" comments?  Watch the show much?

Posted by: Paladin at April 10, 2014 09:43 AM (YNPwP)

405 I love a Scottish accent, and paired with a great sense of humor? Be still my heart! Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ So how YE doin, lassie?

Posted by: Countrysquire at April 10, 2014 09:43 AM (LSJmV)

406 Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 01:41 PM (4df7R)

Here's a lass with a sweet Scottish accent:

http://tinyurl.com/mjt9jxq


Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 10, 2014 09:43 AM (QFxY5)

407
Our Hot Air Button girl costumes:


http://bit.ly/1iyr7ID

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 01:42 PM (mf5HN)



Airy.  Breathable.  Affords    a good range of motion.   And as an added bonus, nothing to get in the way whilst trampolining.


I approve!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 09:43 AM (4df7R)

408 Wiki you say? Well that makes sense then. Case closed. Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at April 10, 2014 01:41 PM (R5UOB) Ha Ha. It's a good read. He probably wrote most of it. http://tinyurl.com/zpmkn

Posted by: Nip Sip at April 10, 2014 09:43 AM (0FSuD)

409 382 I understand Alec Baldwin is available. Get him liquored up and bring nothing but actors who are still in the closet....then just sit back. - We could get great jokes like two fags walk into a chicken plucking plant . . .

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 10, 2014 09:43 AM (GW+jL)

410 >So how YE doin, lassie? Posted by: Countrysquire at April 10, 2014 01:43 PM (LSJmV<



OK.  Now be funny.

Posted by: Muad'dib at April 10, 2014 09:44 AM (sjdRT)

411 Posted by: Sharkman at April 10, 2014 01:35 PM (TM1p

barrel.  Now.  In, and if you say 1 word I follow you with a 9-banger.

/slams lid shut.

Posted by: tangonine at April 10, 2014 09:44 AM (x3YFz)

412 john stewart is also smart to stay where he is. he kinda invented his niche and no one is better than he is at what he does.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2014 09:44 AM (rDidD)

413 Yes and when Nielsen counts ratings they don't ask are you a liberal? They ask are you watching the show. CBS has bet that there are enough die hard lefties who will watch the show, even if to non-lefties, Colbert sucks.

It's probably a good bet.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at April 10, 2014 01:06 PM (0LHZx)


Of course, conservatives would never self-select themselves out of the Nielsen ratings base because they value their privacy more than do liberals, would they?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 10, 2014 09:44 AM (IxLzY)

414 Not really. As soon as John Oliver jumped ship for HBO after his gig as substitute Daily Show host for however long, then it shoulda been obvious that Stewart wasn't going anywhere. --- Oh, ok Mr. Insider. Thanks for the info. How did that relate to Letterman's just announced retirement exactly?

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 09:44 AM (ZPrif)

415 They should have got Jeb Bush to do it He'd bring the love

Posted by: Navycopjoe at April 10, 2014 09:45 AM (hKIk9)

416 The most I can do in a Scottish accent is, "Ach!  MacDougal!"    *deep sigh*  


*wanders off to find footage of Tom Hiddleston talking in a Scottish accent*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 09:45 AM (4df7R)

417 CNN just announced their new evening lineup. All reality, all the time. Other than Mike Rowe it looks like loser city.

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at April 10, 2014 09:45 AM (vHRtU)

418 Wasn't Jon Stewart on the short list for the CBS evening news slot?

Posted by: Soothsayer the Unstompable at April 10, 2014 09:45 AM (O96tM)

419 he kinda invented his niche -- Stewart was a replacement host on The Daily Show.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 09:45 AM (ZPrif)

420 i mean really: who watches this crap, other than mouth breathing window lickers?

Posted by: redc1c4 at April 10, 2014 01:38 PM (q+fqH)

^^^ this

Posted by: tangonine at April 10, 2014 09:45 AM (x3YFz)

421 410 382 I understand Alec Baldwin is available. Get him liquored up and bring nothing but actors who are still in the closet....then just sit back. - We could get great jokes like two fags walk into a chicken plucking plant . . . orrrr - What's the most commonly asked question in a gay bar? May I push your stool in?

Posted by: S Colbert. at April 10, 2014 09:46 AM (R5UOB)

422 @384 The Eastern airlines crash was in 74 not 64. Colbert was born in 64.

Posted by: Nip Sip at April 10, 2014 09:46 AM (0FSuD)

423 This is going to fail. His "character" will not fly on network TV especially at that time slot. Conan's "character" didn't fly either but at least he was affable. Colbert is rude and unpleasant. It will eventually bite him in the ass when he "ironically" insults the wrong celebrity or group and it will be ugly. Ferguson just needs to bide his time and gets the show in 2 years. I'm calling it right now: he doesn't get to the election 2016.

Posted by: Naes1984 at April 10, 2014 09:46 AM (LiHKo)

424 Just fucking kill me and bury me in the barrel.

Posted by: Sharkman at April 10, 2014 09:46 AM (TM1p8)

425 he kinda invented his niche ====== Ahem.

Posted by: Craig Kilborne at April 10, 2014 09:46 AM (MMC8r)

426 417 They should have got Jeb Bush to do it
He'd bring the love

Posted by: Navycopjoe at April 10, 2014 01:45 PM (hKIk9)

 

 

Part of their shtick could be getting raided by ICE on a nightly basis. 

Posted by: Insomniac at April 10, 2014 09:46 AM (DrWcr)

427 @390: "Holy crap! Really!? Not cool Kilborn. Not. cool." Kilborn is a fucking loon. Fox tried resurrecting him in 2010. "The Kilborn File" was a six week test to see how he would fare after six years off television, and whether or not enough affiliates would pick up a 30m show to make it worthwhile. Needless to say, the experiment died a quiet and merciful death.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at April 10, 2014 09:46 AM (kqGWM)

428 best of luck with colbert, but beyond is parody of a 'typical' conservatives, there ain't much there there. Ferguson would have been the better choice. He's way more likable that colbert any day of the week and twice on a sunday.

Posted by: hack at April 10, 2014 09:47 AM (piR98)

429 OK. Now be funny. Posted by: Muad'dib +++++++++++++++++++++++ I just flew in from Glasgow, and my bloody arms are tired. Yeah, I got nuthin.

Posted by: Countrysquire at April 10, 2014 09:47 AM (LSJmV)

430 Interesting if true. Sadly, why does this not surprise me?

BLM fracking racket exposed!
Armed siege and cattle theft from Bundy ranch really about fracking leases.

http://tinyurl.com/lpe7n2w

Posted by: rickb223 at April 10, 2014 09:47 AM (d0Dmj)

431 Woody might have finally done something--beyond the pale with Liberals: Woody Allen under fire for all-white cast of Broadway production about Harlem's legendary Cotton Club[/] DailyMail

Posted by: tasker at April 10, 2014 09:47 AM (RJMhd)

432 Just fucking kill me and bury me in the barrel.

Posted by: Sharkman at April 10, 2014 01:46 PM (TM1p

Nope.  No killing.  Now get your ass back down there.

Posted by: tangonine at April 10, 2014 09:48 AM (x3YFz)

433
Also, why are we not protesting yet another hosting job going to a hetronomative cis-genedered white male?

Wanda Sykes is still available and she has direct experience -- at taking a late night talkshow down in flames.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at April 10, 2014 09:48 AM (kdS6q)

434 Just fucking kill me and bury me in the barrel.

Posted by: Sharkman at April 10, 2014 01:46 PM (TM1p


-----


You want a funeral.


You'll settle for a wake.


You're getting composted.

Posted by: fixerupper at April 10, 2014 09:48 AM (nELVU)

435 well, if i am gonna be wrong about something may as well be something I do not care about - daily show.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2014 09:48 AM (rDidD)

436 Sharkman, there's a gloryhole in there with your name on it.

Posted by: Arec Bardwin at April 10, 2014 09:48 AM (oJUxt)

437 You were looking for the king of late night comedy? Heeeeeeere's Johnny!

Posted by: Johnny Carson at April 10, 2014 09:48 AM (R5UOB)

438 >Posted by: Countrysquire at April 10, 2014 01:47 PM (LSJmV)<



Just kidding!  I thought the first attempt was funneh.

Posted by: Muad'dib at April 10, 2014 09:48 AM (sjdRT)

439 Stewart was a replacement host on The Daily Show.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 01:45 PM (ZPrif)


There's a reason why Time Life    albums   always advertise themselves as, "All the top hits by the artists who made them famous."   It doesn't matter who    started    something; what matters is who ran away with it and made it their own.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 09:49 AM (4df7R)

440 Colbert is a smug, self-worshiping jackass. No brainer for the CBS brass - Letterman is also.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/s] [/u] at April 10, 2014 09:49 AM (cCpYP)

441 So the choices were a scot or a Canadian They couldn't find an American to do it?

Posted by: Navycopjoe at April 10, 2014 09:49 AM (hKIk9)

442 If CBS gave the show to Dan Rather I'd at least watch the first 10 minutes. Just to see how insane he is nowdays. I haven't watched Letterman since 2001 and sure won't start with Colbert. I only watch Elementary on CBS mainly for LL. I catch Person of Interest when I remember it's on and quit watching NCIS some time ago. I actually consciously refuse to watch anything on NBC and I think there is one show I catch on ABC sometimes. Mmmmm....I guess I don't really watch much of anything on the Nets anymore. Got any movie reviews Ace?

Posted by: Daybrother at April 10, 2014 09:49 AM (BDB07)

443 who is the fat guy from king of queens? him.

Posted by: yankeefifth at April 10, 2014 09:49 AM (rDidD)

444 That line about grinding a gap in his teeth? I wrote that. *sits back smugly*

Posted by: Bill Maher at April 10, 2014 09:49 AM (/AHDz)

445 He's a Second City alum, and beside Strangers With Candy he did that Exit 57 sketch show.
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix

Aren't all of those "characters"?  That was my point, not that he's only played one  character.

Posted by: McAdams at April 10, 2014 09:50 AM (x13zk)

446 Okay, I'll go clean out the barrel, but I must tell you that I've been working on a time machine and spending that time in there will give me a great chance of finishing it.  Then!  I'll be back, in the past, to vex thee, without the stain of the barrel sullying me!

Posted by: Sharkman at April 10, 2014 09:50 AM (TM1p8)

447 Heh. Popcorn anyone? Woody Allen is under fire for failing to have any black gangsters in his Broadway musical about legendary 1920s Harlem nightspot, the Cotton Club. Allen insists he always casts regardless of race, but the New York Daily News cites a source as saying the quirky filmmaker specifically requested there be no African-American stars in his show. 'Bullets Over Broadway' is an adaption of Allen's 1994 screenplay of the same name and stars Zach Braff as the lead. 'Everyone's white at WoodyÂ’s Cotton Club and in the gangster numbers,' a Broadway insider told the Daily News' Confidential. Are there minorities in Harlem?

Posted by: RWC at April 10, 2014 09:50 AM (fWAjv)

448 Newd.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 10, 2014 09:50 AM (0HooB)

449 Are there minorities in Harlem?


Posted by: RWC at April 10, 2014 01:50 PM (fWAjv)

 

 

I heard there's a rose in Spanish Harlem.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 10, 2014 09:51 AM (DrWcr)

450 Hopefully Colbert will bring less O'Reilly and more Phil Ken Sebben.

Posted by: Scott M at April 10, 2014 09:51 AM (AdBfq)

451 Colberts wiki has one telling comment. He thinks people with Southern accents are classified as stupid, so he worked to lose his accent. Talk about stupid.

Posted by: Nip Sip at April 10, 2014 09:51 AM (0FSuD)

452 BLM fracking racket exposed! Armed siege and cattle theft from Bundy ranch really about fracking leases. http://tinyurl.com/lpe7n2w Posted by: rickb223 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ So the Koch brothers are behind this? I KNEW IT!!!

Posted by: Countrysquire at April 10, 2014 09:51 AM (LSJmV)

453 Stewart reportedly gets $15M a year. And has well over $100M net worth. Colbert reportedly was at $6M a year, with only $50M in the bank.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 10, 2014 09:51 AM (ZPrif)

454 Woody Allen under fire for all-white cast of Broadway production about Harlem's legendary Cotton Club



Yeah, I don't get this.   I mean... the whole POINT of The Cotton Club is, y'know, Harlem.   If you make a production about The Cotton Club   but  cast an all-white cast, then sorry, you ain't making a production about The Cotton Club.  


Woody has officially gone off his rocker.   Years of lusting after little girls will do that to a twisted fruit like him.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 09:52 AM (4df7R)

455 http://www.scotlandvacations.com/scottishhumour.htm

Posted by: Smith! the Art Critic at April 10, 2014 09:52 AM (ORWoy)

456
Aren't all of those "characters"? That was my point, not that he's only played one character.
Posted by: McAdams



Almost all comedians play "characters", unless you think Rodney Dangerfield or Gilbert Gottfried are like they are on stage when they're at home.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at April 10, 2014 09:53 AM (kdS6q)

457 Mr. Colbert will retire the character he plays on his Comedy Central show--a send-up of Republican talk-show hosts--and will be himself - A Democrat talk-show host - as the host of the CBS show, the company said. FIFT

Posted by: rockhead at April 10, 2014 09:53 AM (jtTKf)

458 Drive me to Harlem, or somewhere the same.

Posted by: D. Fagen at April 10, 2014 09:54 AM (LSJmV)

459

>So how YE doin, lassie?

Posted by: Countrysquire at April 10, 2014 01:43 PM (LSJmV<

 




OK. Now be funny.

Posted by: Muad'dib at April 10, 2014 01:44 PM (sjdRT)

 

Just lift his kilt.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 10, 2014 09:54 AM (zF6Iw)

460 In somewhat related news, I have finally tracked down the best explanation of the 'Ettes yet: http://bit.ly/OKHmdH Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at April 10, 2014 01:37 PM (mf5HN) fnord (mf5HN) I keep trying to hire Veronica, I think she would make a great Sith. They keep telling me she's not real, she's only a fictional character. I'm not sure I want to live in a universe where this is the case.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at April 10, 2014 09:54 AM (qyfb5)

461 @416: "Oh, ok Mr. Insider. Thanks for the info. How did that relate to Letterman's just announced retirement exactly?" Oh, okay, Mr. Can't Be Bothered to Read the Fucking Thread. Stewart's been mentioned more than a dozen times already. Both for his role in helping create and nurture Colbert's Comedy Central persona, and being previously named named as a potential replacement for both Leno and Letterman. You don't have to be an "insider" to know Stewart was on the short list for a long time. Good fucking grief. This thread is all about late night television, and you wanna troll me for even mentioning someone who's won sixteen Emmy awards for writing and production? Get a clue.

Posted by: Walter Freeman at April 10, 2014 09:54 AM (kqGWM)

462 @455 It's on the internet must be true. There are no fucking frackable formations in NV. Sorry.

Posted by: Nip Sip at April 10, 2014 09:54 AM (0FSuD)

463 So the choices were a scot or a Canadian

They couldn't find an American to do it?

Posted by: Navycopjoe at April 10, 2014 01:49 PM (hKIk9)



Honestly, Ferguson was and is a Scot, but he's one of the proudest Americans you'll ever see.   He GETS it.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit [/s][/u][/i][/b] at April 10, 2014 09:55 AM (4df7R)

464

OT, but in the sidebar I see that ever cautious George Will has thrown in the towel  on  the  GOP  and is calling for an Article 5 convention. 

 

Thats pretty remarkable.

Posted by: MTF at April 10, 2014 09:55 AM (LISuA)

465 Posted by: tasker at April 10, 2014 01:47 PM (RJMhd) Wonder if there are any in blackface a la Ted Danson?

Posted by: Hrothgar at April 10, 2014 09:58 AM (o3MSL)

466 Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Bossy Assault Hobbit at April 10, 2014 01:55 PM (4df7R) Yes, Beth, the ones that get in legally still get it, for the most part!

Posted by: Hrothgar at April 10, 2014 09:59 AM (o3MSL)

467 nood?

Posted by: Hrothgar at April 10, 2014 09:59 AM (o3MSL)

468 Almost all comedians play "characters", unless you think Rodney Dangerfield or Gilbert Gottfried are like they are on stage when they're at home.
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix


I don't think Letterman, Leno, Carson, Conan, etc are playing "characters". 

Colbert in a sketch comedy show like Second City or Strangers With Candy is playing specific characters that are usually over the top.  Just like he was with the O'Reilly character.

Much different, and it's a big gamble for CBS to not see how he can do with hosting a flagship Late Night show when he's never done that kind of comedy.

Posted by: McAdams at April 10, 2014 10:00 AM (x13zk)

469 I guess Cochran was just curious.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at April 10, 2014 10:02 AM (qyfb5)

470 BLM fracking racket exposed!
Armed siege and cattle theft from Bundy ranch really about fracking leases.

http://tinyurl.com/lpe7n2w

Posted by: rickb223 at April 10, 2014 01:47 PM (d0Dmj)


So you are opposed to America being self-sufficient in energy, too? Inasmuch as he is leasing surface (i.e. grazing) rights, and Noble is interested in subsurface rights, there is no conflict.



I have been on many drilling leases on ranch land. The cows don't mind, and usually the rancher gets a nice check for the lease and road access rights. If there is a conflict between farming/ranching and the oil industry, you can bet it is being ginned-up by leftists or foreign interests. I know many farmers and ranchers who work the rigs in their off-season.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 10, 2014 10:07 AM (IxLzY)

471 Pretty much anyone in the InfoTainment Industry is playing a character.

They just might seem serious because they're playing a serious character.

Those folks on the News at night? They're playing Newscaster/Anchor and hoping for an opportunity at something bigger.

When you start to look at the Media as an InfoTainment Industry, a lot of how they act and what they say and do becomes clearer.

They're all playing roles. Ad libbing for sure but they're PLAYING ROLES.

This goes back years and years.

Everything you see on TV or the Movies is pretty much fake. It very rarely shows any facts or reality and if so it's only coincidental and was not the object of the Role Players or the Directors/Producers.

The object has always been to
a) make money
b) move an agenda
c) sell that power and access (see a)

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That (Waiting For SMODOT) at April 10, 2014 10:10 AM (JS0vr)

472 good points by Ace. Sure, Colbert's a terrible person but that alone shouldn't net him the late show.

Posted by: joeindc44 at April 10, 2014 10:11 AM (+JbYP)

473 Re: Meyers vs. Ferguson. Who does Meyers follow? Fallon, ergo, new, and "seemingly" funny. Who does Ferguson follow? Letterman, ergo, old and not funny. It's not exactly rocket science. Who, at 12:35 in the morning can be bothered to switch channels? Hell, I DVR Craig myself, but that's because I'm asleep.

Posted by: Fringe at April 10, 2014 10:13 AM (oWl4T)

474 Thanks for turning me on to Fergusen, ace.

Posted by: Max Power at April 10, 2014 10:43 AM (q177U)

475

Since Steven Colbert has been giving the stiff middle finger to conservatives and Republicans for the past decade or so, I'm not getting a real big "likability" vibe from him, and will not be watching their show.

 

This case could be one where living in the leftist bubble will really hurt a network.  They just don't see how toxic Colbert is with most of the country, because they find his anti-Republican schtick amusing.  Since they don't know any actual Republicans over at CBS, they can't see how anybody would find Colbert to be anything other than charming. 

Posted by: Haiku Guy at April 10, 2014 10:48 AM (bIy5N)

476 I didn't read all the comments, so if this has been said before, I don't care. Ferguson didn't get the gig because he isn't sufficiently moonbat liberal enough. He's said as much in little asides and comments, so he's on their radar as "maybe not one of them". Colbert is a sure thing, another loyal pawn on the chessboard of liberal bias.

Posted by: OneEyedJack at April 10, 2014 10:51 AM (agLwc)

477 Out of character, back in the day...the week that Colbert subbed for Sterwart on the Daily Show and had a few outbreaks of Bush Derangement Syndrome. I used to watch The Daily Show just for the put-on interview segments featuring Colbert and Steve Carell. Funny stuff. So thought, cool, a week of Colbert. Not so happy smiley though

Posted by: McEwan at April 10, 2014 10:55 AM (oGRPn)

478 With a guest list like this, I smell ratings bonanza...

http://tinyurl.com/kh8kcno

Posted by: Piers Morgan at April 10, 2014 11:29 AM (dqzWI)

479 Colbert will bomb. He's exactly the sort of personality who does not succeed in this context.

Posted by: rrpjr at April 10, 2014 11:33 AM (s/yC1)

480 Ha Ha. Colbert made a joke.

Posted by: East Bay Jay at April 10, 2014 11:58 AM (7v8o1)

481 Colbert and Stewart got famous for identical reasons, namely recycling a 40 year old act called "Weekend Update" and then trying to fill the other 15 minutes left in their timeslot.

Posted by: davis at April 10, 2014 12:23 PM (Kxz3Y)

482

I don't know how his ratings are, but several of Fallons little skits have showed up in my inbox, so I think he's doing something right.

 

I can't get NBC, so even if I wanted to watch live I would have to pass. I wish someone would do a netflix show. One of the few things I miss not having cable is The Soup.

Posted by: Lea at April 10, 2014 01:17 PM (lIU4e)

483 He's been in comedy - stand up, sketch, concept, movies, books, audios, live shows, armed forces shows, serial faux news, writing, producing, serial faux Glenn O'Rantity, the whole schmeer - for almost three full decades now, and this here highly sophisticated audience full of conservative white males who CLAIM they've never watched him or don't regularly and haven't watched Letterman for years, and for all those reasons have all along self-excluded (through disciplined self-denial, of course, much the same as online pron and handjobs) imagines it's in any sort of position to judge his performance and his range? Based on your comments, I'm definitely moving a bunch of my client-base ads to CBS Late Night. The last year plus of Letterman (It seems he's gonna keep going until sometime in October 2015) then immediately followed by the first year of Colbert as host is - mark twain, fellers - bound to be a ratings bonanza for CBS. Who'll suffer? Fallon at least some; Kimmel at lot; the poor fuck Comedy Central slots into 2350 hours, a WHOLE bunch. Also: the state of his marriage and his manner around women make him a particularly big draw wit' da ladies. But, by all means, continue as long as you want with your self-deception. It reminds me of when this website went hoohah over Sarah Palin, and THAT sure worked out for you morons, am I nestles paw on that ubitcha?

Posted by: rex the wonder god at April 10, 2014 11:08 PM (aLo9s)

484 Excellent . . . excellent . . .

Posted by: Ghost of Ellsworth Toohey at April 11, 2014 11:37 AM (E3sHO)

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