Tim Blair has a funny round-up.

Thanks to Alarming News, who shares with us why she won't miss 2004, the worst year of her life.

Posted by: Ace at 05:43 PM | Comments (2)
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Next important BBC corporate memo: "Why You Shouldn't Smash Your Nut-Sac With a Ballpeen Hammer."

Thanks to GregS.

Posted by: Ace at 02:48 PM | Comments (7)
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And a soldier on the ground there says a hearty FU to AP.

Posted by: Ace at 02:46 PM | Comments (1)
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Sorry I've been such an absentee blogger. Long story short, turns out a friend from college actually made himself some pretty decent connections in Hollywood, and that he actually likes a script I wrote some time ago and have had no luck getting read by agencies or studios.

I had to spend the last three days giving it a last edit and generally putting it into good shape.

Anyway, that's done now. For the next couple of days, my only excuses for not blogging will be sloth and "too much nog."

Merry Christmas Eve!

Posted by: Ace at 11:09 AM | Comments (24)
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NickS. sends along this very funny video of a ground-crew flight controller using non-regulation gestures to send a plane to take-off.

PS: No, that's not his penis, although it looks like it might be for the first few seconds.

Linking Faux-Pas: I tried to figure out what site this came from, but couldn't, so I hotlinked right to the video. I've now changed the link to link to the original post.

Sorry to steal your bandwidth and traffic, dude.

Posted by: Ace at 10:53 AM | Comments (10)
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Now it's up to 4%, having been revised from 3.7% and then to 3.9%.

Do I hear sleighbells? No, the tone is too deep and clunky for sleighbells. Some kind of bell, though, I'm sure.

Ahhhh... that guy. Spreading Christmas joy to all the good retailers and employers and stockholders throughout the land.

Posted by: Ace at 09:45 AM | Comments (15)
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He wanted John Taylor's black coat.

I was, as many of you know, I was always more of Nick Rhodes man myself; mascara, light pink lipstick, and fingerless lace gloves always said "Wild Boy" to me.

Not so much to the ladies, alas. The most play I'd tend to get was some chick telling me that Don't You (Forget About Me) was really Simple Minds' worst song ever, and that I really should check out their early stuff. And then asking me if she could borrow my compact.

As if I'd carry around a compact! I mean, I did, but why would you assume that?

Posted by: Ace at 09:37 AM | Comments (26)
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Once again we're having a few scattered engagements in the ongoing and interminable Christmas Wars. Responding to a typically unhinged James Wolcott piece about how no one hates Christmas at all and, anyway, even if they do hate it, it's perfectly hateful anyway, Lileks launches a few surgical strikes of scarcasm:

I believe it was quite clear in the column, where I explicitly condemned the godless networks for not having an animatronic Baby Jesus read the news the third week of December, or running a crawl below all prime-time programming spelling out the recipe for figgy pudding. As long-time readers of this site will note, I am not just a loud militant Christian who wants to tamp the thick bristling wad of God down everyoneÂ’s throat with a miter, I am frequently given to posting long MP3 files of myself sobbing in despair over the fact that advent candles are not forcibly screwed into the facial apertures of government officials. ThatÂ’s me, all right.

Lilkes makes a point that I think is quite important:

I don’t think people in the Evil Coastal Godless Baal-Loving Media hate Christianity. I’m sure some hold it in disinterested contempt, the way they view NASCAR and Simplicity dress patterns and those giant salad forks some people inexplicably used as kitchen-wall decorations. But for many – yes, the dreaded inexact “many” – religious ideas don’t register at all, so they don’t know how their actions might seem to those who take the whole God thing seriously.

This is the key. I'm not religious myself. But I don't get very flummoxed about anyone's expression of heartfelt religious beliefs -- live and let live, let's be tolerant and all that. And it should be noted the Left is quite tolerant of religion, too, so long as that religion is some sort of hybrid Eastern Mysticism/Kabala/Wiccan-Santeria New Age concoction (assuming that chickens are not in fact slaughtered, as Santanistas occasionally do, but are instead merely photographed upon the altar as some kind of f-stop offering, and then set free into the wild where they can be viciously devoured by wilding raccoons, which I have always considered the Crips of the surburban garbage-can ecosystem).

They always say that it's important to tolerate not the beliefs or practices which you like -- that's not tolerance, after all; that's just doing your thing -- but to tolerate those beliefs and practices which you abhor. Well, most of the people saying this abhor Christianity and all of its expressions; where's this reservoir of good-spirited tolerance I keep hearing so much about?

But Lileks himself can't resist a less-than-tolerant attack on Wolcott, an attack I must say I enjoy. Noting a rather shabby typo of Wolcott's:

But when I read that, I thought: he has cats. Everything about his work suggests that he has cats. Not that thereÂ’s anything wrong with cats. I love cats, even though I prefer dogs. But sometimes you just get the impression of a soul whose incessant pissy hauteur is best expressed at the moment when they dump a stinky disk of fish guts into the bowl and mutter something clever to the elegant creatures feasting at their feet.

It turns out Wolcott doesn't have cats, but rather "ocicats," whatever they are, and they're named Roland, Jasper, and Henry.

What-- he couldn't have named one Monsieur Faggsworth? That's every bit as good a name for an "ocicat" as "Pretzel" is for a chocolate lab.

Thanks to NickS.

Posted by: Ace at 09:31 AM | Comments (39)
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The increasingly-irrelevantly named KerrySpot scoops that CBSNews will announce Dan Rather's replacement on the same day it releases (parts of?) the Rathergate internal report.

Yeah, that should do the trick. Because we're all so thrilled to hear that John Roberts (or whoever) will be standing in as the new infomannikin.

Posted by: Ace at 06:11 PM | Comments (3)
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That's her photo, at least; she wants other bloggers to donate their Christmas photos.

Posted by: Ace at 06:07 PM | Comments (2)
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