I don't know what all the fuss is about. I assumed they were all gay.

A little too dapper, you know? A little fussy.

Look at them. Everyone of them has the same thought: "I am just dying for an Appletini."

At any rate, biologists have discovered a whole rave of these mincing little perverts:

Researchers have found a number of same-sex pairs of penguins at aquariums in Japan, with an imbalance between the numbers of male and female birds suspected to be the cause, a report said.

A research group led by Keisuke Ueda, professor of behavioral ecology at Rikkyo University in Tokyo, found about 20 same-sex pairs at 16 major aquariums and zoos, Kyodo news agency said.

Penguins in captivity "may be more likely to form same-sex pairs" due to the difficulty of finding partners of the opposite sex because breeding facilities in Japan only have an average of 20 birds, the agency quoted Ueda as saying.

It is not known if the frequency of homosexuality is higher than in the wild, where telling the sexes apart is tough, he said.

Okay. Can I be serious for a second?

I may be a whacked out nutjob here, but I wonder if homosexuality is an evolutionary response to overpopulation.

Guys suddenly go gay in jail. Why? I've had years upon years of no action whatsoever and I never considered sex with a guy as fungible for sex with a girl.

What if homosexuality is both genetic and chemically determined? What if when there are too many male pheremones around-- signalling overpopulation, or, more commonly now, prison -- a homosexual attraction is engendered in some?

I don't know. Has anyone studied the incidences of homosexuality in cities -- or in big familes; lots of bodies in cramped spaces -- as opposed to the countryside or small families?

This may sound crazy, but I know there's some sort of fish that does something like this. If a male gets shut out of the breeding lottery, some sort of chemical change occurs and it turns female, either entirely female or at least largely female.

And no, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, or that it's a defect or anything. Maybe it's nature's way of saying "You guys are fucking wayyy too much." Or at least producing too many offspring.

Thanks to Robert McClelland, who I think posted this as some sort of baiting/trolling thing, but I think it's pretty interesting.

Posted by: Ace at 08:18 PM | Comments (19)
Post contains 424 words, total size 3 kb.

A rare admission that jihadists are dying by the dozen:

posting on an Islamic Web site Friday made a rare admission of significant casualties among insurgents fighting U.S. forces in Iraq (news - web sites), saying 24 guerrillas, most of them non-Iraqi Arabs, were killed in battles in Fallujah the day before.

The posting on a site known as a clearinghouse for militant Muslim statements said three hours of fighting in Fallujah on Thursday resulted in the "martyrdom" of 24 fighters from different Islamic factions, 19 of them from Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Bahrain, Egypt, Syria and Jordan. The rest were said to be Iraqis.

Such postings often refer to large U.S. casualties. References to dead among the insurgents aren't unusual, but usually the numbers given are small.

Just curious: if these bastards are "insurgents," can we call the human-hunting madmen in New Orleans "insurgents" as well? Obviously they're unhappy about something, right?

They just need a website or something. And then the MSM will stop using judgmental terms about them like "depraved."

Thanks to Super Christmas News Elf GregS, who sadly informs me he's giving up informing for me for a while in order to pursue what he terms "my real life."

I'm thinking about closing up shop without GregS.

Hope you enjoy your "life," Greg, you traitor.

Posted by: Ace at 08:07 PM | Comments (2)
Post contains 236 words, total size 2 kb.

No, it's not just the plot of a semi-bad Jean Claude Van Damme movie, this really happened:

Murder is always an act of depravity, but the circumstances coming into focus as police probe the death of Toree Donaldson suggest barbarity almost beyond belief. Apparently his killers had nothing more in mind than target practice last month as they trained an assault rifle on the 19-year-old and chased him screaming through the streets of the Lower 9th Ward.

That residents failed to respond either to the booming assault rifle or to Donaldson's cries for help as he banged on their doors only deepens the sense of shock among those investigating the crime.

A Gay Republican (hey, he told me so; plus, he kept asking me if I thought he "had a shot" with FoxNews' David Asman) from New Orleans has a modest proposal, and it involves distributing a shitload of guns.

Posted by: Ace at 08:02 PM | Comments (5)
Post contains 172 words, total size 1 kb.

Mild content warning here. Let's say it's dirty-Benny-Hill-plus as far as offensiveness.

It's a bunch of Air Force guys singing love-songs to Gold Bond Powder, for keeping their, um, balls nice and dry.

Thanks to JanelleM.

Posted by: Ace at 07:57 PM | Comments (9)
Post contains 50 words, total size 1 kb.

Great for the Ukraine:

Pro-West opposition leader Viktor Yushchenko claimed victory in Ukraine's historic presidential election rerun, telling supporters the vote was a triumph for the country and proclaiming that "now we are free" from dominance by neighboring Russia.

Speaking in a hall at his campaign headquarters packed with journalists and campaign activists, the man who led the "orange revolution" that shook Ukraine for weeks said: "It has happened.

"For 14 years we have been independent, but now we are free. This is a victory for the Ukrainian people, for the Ukrainian nation," the 50-year-old opposition leader and former prime minister said as his audience broke into applause and chants of "Yu-shchenk-ko! Yu-shchen-ko!"

Yushchenko appeared in public as the central election commission reported that he held a 16-point lead over his pro-Russian opponent, Prime Minister Viktor Yanukovich, with more than 63 percent of the country's precincts reporting results.

The commission credited Yushchenko with 55.98 percent of the vote, compared to 40.2 percent for Yanukovich. Three independent exit polls published at the close of voting Sunday gave Yushchenko at least a 15-point lead over his rival.

...

Al Hunt was quick to point out that a mere 15 advantage does not constitute a "mandate." Ellis Hellican suggested immediately that Yushchenko "reach out" to the opposition who poisoned him and show "political goodwill" by immediately accepting the re-subjugation of the Ukraine by Russia.

"It's the only way to show that Yushchenko is really serious about 'uniting' the Ukraine," Paul Krugman mused.

"Today we are turning the page on human disrespect, censorship, lies and violence," he said. "People who were dragging the country toward the abyss are today stepping into the past."

Dan Rather is still waiting for the returns from three districts in Kiev to make the CBSNews projection. "Right now it's as tight as hemhorroidal tick's butthole," Rather mused, although he did allow that Yushcheko had declared victory "as he sees it and he decrees it."

Peter Jennings could only observe that the people of the Ukraine had a "temper tantrum" today. "And so sad," he went on, "the day after we celebrate the birth of a semi-important religious philosopher."

...

Yushchenko, whose support is strongest in the agrarian, nationalist Ukrainian-speaking west of the country has pledged to lead Ukraine toward eventual membership in the European Union and the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO).

Michael Moore called this as an engineered "coup" by rightist military interests determined to "expand the hegemonic American Empire" still further East.

He also said something about some Trans-fucking-Caspian pipeline or something, but his words were garbled by the presence of upwards of seven partially-chewed bearclaws in his mouth.

...

Apart from the national and international tensions it has generated, the Ukrainian election campaign was marked by a dioxin poisoning episode that took Yushchenko off the stump last September with a severe illness that has left his face sallow, puffy and pock-marked.

Yushchenko has insisted it was an attempt to murder him. He fell ill the day after having dinner with the chief of Ukraine's SBU intelligence service, Ihor Smeshko, who has denied that he or his agency had any role in the poisoning.

Donations for Ihor Smeshko's scheduled funeral should instead be sent to MoveOn.org, in order to insure that the 22nd Amendment is not changed in order to allow President Bush a third term.

MoveOn.org-- Your Oxymoronic Soft-Money Slush-Fund.

Nice little bonus:

He doesn't look half-bad at this point.

Posted by: Ace at 07:47 PM | Comments (3)
Post contains 586 words, total size 4 kb.

Kausfiles collects up Polipundit posts about the erroneous predictions made by Democrats and/or the media (one in the same, really).

It's just too damn sweet.

Posted by: Ace at 12:40 PM | Comments (10)
Post contains 41 words, total size 1 kb.

Sorry, Christmas is always a slow news day, you know? Can't hurt to repost this yet again. (Or... can it?)

Top Ten Mandated Changes to Make Christianity More Politically Correct and "Inclusive"

10. "Christian fish" logos must be certified by the EPA as dolphin-safe

9. Key lyric of Norman Greenbaum's hippie-Christian anthem, Spirit in the Sky, changed from "I've got a friend in Jesus" to less-divisive "I've got a friend in Walter"

8. Good Friday officially renamed "Passable Friday;" Ash Wednesday officially renamed "the Day Before Thursday"

7. Placards displaying "John 3:16" outlawed at sporting events; spectators wishing to display their spiritual beliefs may substitute oversized foam-finger bearing the corporate slogan "Dude, You're Getting a Dell!"

6. The requirement that an actual belief in Christ is required to be a Christian ruled discriminatory; churches must offer alternative methods of qualification, such as "celebrating the magical joy of a baby's smile" or "just sitting in the park, thinking about Nature and shit"

5. Christ's words are modified to make them less "harsh" and "hostile" to non-believers; "I am the Way and the Light" changed to "I am the Way and the Light, if you believe in that kind of thing, and assuming that's your bag"

4. By government fiat, Christian Heaven becomes history's first open-enrollment paradise; no particular belief system is required for entry, but applicants must have either a high-school diploma or eight weeks of N.E.A.-approved adult education (in cooking, basic automotive maintenance, or modern Spanish flamenco guitar)

3. Common name "Christopher" -- from the Latin for "Christ-Bearer" -- declared intolerant and offensive; by court order, all men named Christopher have their first names immediately changed to "Mitch" (also acceptable: Walter; see Number 9 above)

2. New Testament rewritten to delete references to Caiaphas and other Jewish priests; henceforth, Christ is accused of blasphemy by Hans Gruber and the German mercenaries from Die Hard

...and the Number One Mandated Change to Make Christianity More Politically-Correct and "Inclusive"...

1. Christian Trinity officially changed from Father, Son, and Holy Spirit to Easter Bunny, Santie Clause, and the Ghost of Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (a.k.a., "The Spirit of Diversity")

Correction: Norman Greenbaum, not "Martin," as I keep writing.

Posted by: Ace at 12:23 PM | Comments (7)
Post contains 377 words, total size 3 kb.

Food for thought. Someone should mention this to Chris Matthews the next time he claims that the Iraqi terrorist resistance is just like Vietcong nationalism:

Mr Malbrunot said his captors were driven more by Islamic holy war than Iraqi nationalism.

"One of the lessons we drew from our captivity was that we were immersed in Planet Bin Laden," he said.

When the men were freed earlier this week, their captors said it was because of France's anti-war stance.

But Mr Malbrunot told French television the influence of the al-Qaeda leader was especially strong while they were with "a cell of the Islamic Army in the north".

"We were very aware of the fact that it wasn't the Iraqi agenda that motivated our kidnappers, but the internationalist jihadist agenda.

"I think this is the real challenge for the next 10 years - the clash of cultures that these people are advocating, are seeking."

Remember: the left's narrative is that the Iraq War has largely caused this level of anti-American resentment and terrorism; George Bush, they like to say, is bin Ladin's recruiting officer. And they say that this is largely, or almost exclusively even, an indigenous resistance to the foreign occupation.

George Bush, on the other hand, says that this is the central front in the war on terror, and that if we don't fight them here, we'll fight them somewhere else-- possibly in New York, Washington, or Los Angeles.

The French kidnap victim doesn't seem to have much doubt about whose narrative is closer to the truth.

They want to kill us. They want to fight us-- anywhere. They have chosen Iraq not because Iraq is particularly sacred -- and not because Al Qaeda Recruiting Officer George Bush drove them to it -- but because they see it as a convenient place to kill Westerners.

Whether we invaded Iraq or not, these people would still want to kill Westerners.

Theirs is an ideology of destruction and murder, not liberation and national pride.

Remember that always.

Thanks to GregS.

Posted by: Ace at 12:03 PM | Comments (1)
Post contains 366 words, total size 2 kb.

Alex sends along this email circulating at his SF law firm:

HAVE A VERY HAPPY ONE!

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all ...

... And a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2005, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the Western Hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Posted by: Ace at 11:18 PM | Comments (18)
Post contains 307 words, total size 2 kb.

Image courtesy of Jamie Rieger Productions.

Posted by: Ace at 09:37 PM | Comments (3)
Post contains 12 words, total size 1 kb.