At least he had sound legal reasons for doing so:

On Tuesday, Hussein threatened not to return to court after five witnesses testified about brutalities they experienced during a government crackdown 23 years ago.

At the end of the nine-hour court session, Hussein complained that he and his seven co-defendants were tired and had been deprived of opportunities to shower, have a change of clothes, exercise or go for a smoke.

"I will not be in a court without justice. Go to hell, all you agents of America," Hussein told the court.

Give the bastard an OrbiTreck and a carton of Marlboros. Smoke 'em up, Johnny. The gallows await.

Posted by: Ace at 08:34 AM | Comments (11)
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As do the Brits. And nine in ten of South Koreans.

Then again, they eat dogs, so, you know, their judgment is suspect.

Special bonus dig at Saint Andrew of the Sacred "Heart-Ache" for doing his part to increase those numbers, by calling psychological ploys (fake mentrual blood, etc.) torture, thereby diminishing the word.

Posted by: Ace at 08:29 AM | Comments (12)
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Well, if you feel like it. I'm not the boss of you or anything.

Posted by: Ace at 09:25 PM | Comments (51)
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I don't understand why, but it seems a gender war has broken out here. If the threads you're currently arguing this out over get too full, you can use this one.

If you ladies get into trouble, don't count on me bailing you out. I'm not into placating. I'm not tolerant of that at all. I'm not into babysitting or handholding; the girl has to bring something to the table.

Meanwhile... Videogame teaches you how to give women orgasms.

I'm confused. If you have a videogame, who gives a rat's ass about women's orgasms?

Or should I say -- "orgasms." Seriously, ladies, you're not having orgasms. If there were such a thing as a female orgasm, the world population would be 8.9 gazillion.

You're just having sex. That's all.

Leave something for us, huh?

And... Erotic Bible calender, featuring a topless Eve.

Also, wearing a thong and pasties -- Ruth. Ruth.

These are the sort of tips that get emailed to me. I'd love to blog about military strategy in Iraq, but ya gotta work with the tools at hand.

Posted by: Ace at 07:26 PM | Comments (209)
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Fitzmas presents being returned?

H/t to some dickhead at Slate who never links me. No link for you.

Also Approaching 40... As we had a dust-up over whether Jenifer Anniston's 36 year old* breasts were attractive, I guess the best evidence rule compels me to link the photographs. (NOT SAFE IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S LOOKING OVER YOUR SHOULDER.)

* 36 years, 3.6 years, who can say, what's the difference?

Posted by: Ace at 07:03 PM | Comments (43)
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It's called "Flory." The crack staff at Ace of Spades HQ has managed to obtain a shooting script.

E X CL U S I V E

Must Credit Ace of Spades Worldwide News service.

"FLORY"

Shooting script revised 7/29/2005

OPEN TITLES

FLORY

a film by

MEL GIBSON

FADE UP: on a WHITE CARD TITLE.

TITLE:

It's all a DIRTY JEW LIE.

fin

ROLL END CREDITS.

I keed, I keeeeed. I'm sure Mel Gibson's Holocaust movie will be longer than twenty seconds long. It'll take a "teaser" of twenty minutes just to show "those people" killing Jesus.

Again: I keeeeeeeeeed.

Thanks to Chickpea.

Posted by: Ace at 06:18 PM | Comments (32)
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Whence the Slaadi?

I told ya D&Ders would be the most upset.

Thanks to OgreGunner.

Posted by: Ace at 05:22 PM | Comments (19)
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I'm really not sure whether this is meant to make chess players seem more macho, or boxers seem more intelligent.

Anyone?

(h/t to Jonathon Adler at The Corner)

Posted by: Harry Callahan at 12:08 PM | Comments (8)
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Click the pic at 4:00 PM Eastern time.

Guests? Oh, sure, we've got guests. Tom Maguire of Just One Minute will discuss Plamegate and the "good leaks" of classified CIA information about secret airplanes and black site prisons.

Late Switch: We'll be talking to Jeff Larkin about the 2006 races and other stuff. Tom Maguire doesn't seem to want to return my emails.

Greg Gutfeld returns to talk about other stuff going on. Perhaps we'll get an update as to whether the Huffington Post still sucks.

Bonus: Some of my favorite Cool Facts about Dick Cheney.

Call in at 866-884-TALK.

Posted by: Ace at 11:45 AM | Comments (24)
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Let me see if I can get this straight.

The Post Office just broke even for the first time since the 1970s.

Therefore they will raise the price of a stamp in 2006 and then again in 2007.

And just because they are going to issue a stamp for Mickey Mantle, Aquaman and Curious George next year, doesn't mean that I'm not pissed off!

Posted by: Tanker at 11:41 AM | Comments (17)
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