Ilbis thinks this is the AoSHQ theme song.

Well, yes. That's the honest version. The Chris Klein version, with 33% less placating, is of course Allah's mix of Lionel Ritchie's Hello with special guest vocals by Pat O'Brien.

(Note: The latter is not work safe. The former might not be either... but it's just a cute animation with bunnies of a song called "Everyone's Had More Sex Than Me.")

Posted by: Ace at 10:29 AM | Comments (11)
Post contains 75 words, total size 1 kb.

An intuitive mathematical genius with a gift for irrelevancies and nonsequitors.

That's just how Chris Matthews rolls.

Thanks to co-host Karol, who's publicizing a Big NYC Blogger Party mid-December.

Posted by: Ace at 10:19 AM | Comments (12)
Post contains 51 words, total size 1 kb.

The loyal opposition demonstrates again it's primarily loyal to its own political fortunes.

They need us to lose this war, and if Al Qaeda can't win it and the US military won't lose it, they'll have to force a surrender politically.

Posted by: Ace at 10:09 AM | Comments (165)
Post contains 49 words, total size 1 kb.

But Remember When The Boy Had To Kill Brave Ol' Yeller? Gosh, That Was Sad... And Ol' Yeller's Never Coming Back

For every optimistic sign, there is an even more optimistic sign, but for ever even more optististic sign, there is the ominous threat of full-blown Mad Max style civilizational collapse:

Orders to U.S. factories posted a solid increase in October while - worker productivity jumped by the largest amount in two years, the government reported Tuesday. It was the latest evidence that the economy is rebounding from the Gulf Coast hurricanes and a spike in energy prices, leading analysts to predict the economy will turn in a solid performance in coming months.

"The momentum of growth has been very strong," said Nariman Behravesh, chief economist at Global Insight in Lexington, Mass. "This suggests that growth in the fourth quarter of this year and early next year will remain robust."
...

Meanwhile, the Labor Department reported that the productivity of American workers shot up at an annual rate of 4.7 percent in the July- September quarter, the best showing in two years. The new figure was revised upward from an initial estimate of 4.1 percent growth in productivity.

The big jump in worker efficiency helped to push labor costs down by 1 percent at an annual rate in third quarter, double the 0.5 percent drop in unit labor costs that had originally been reported. The stronger productivity and falling labor costs should help ease fears at the Federal Reserve that overall inflation was on the verge of worsening because of rising wage pressures.

Click for the song that's sweeping the nation:

Guess What? I got a fev-ah.
And the only. Prescription.
Is More Cowbell.

Posted by: Ace at 09:42 AM | Comments (8)
Post contains 294 words, total size 2 kb.

No one watches this show, but that doesn't mean it's not fun to parodize.

Posted by: Ace at 08:06 AM | Comments (4)
Post contains 20 words, total size 1 kb.

Yep:

What's the difference between the Paul Wellstone funeral and a performance by Margaret Cho, comedian?

In parts, the Wellstone funeral was funny.

Pow, zing.

...

Here's Margaret Cho's routine: say something nasty about a conservative. Wait for applause and "woo-woos" from partisan crowd. Make declarative statement about a liberal orthodoxy ("You don't choose to be gay"). Wait for more applause. Repeat. Imagine a less funny, more sour, double whiny Maureen Dowd, and you've got it.

Cho's jokes are all bile-soaked grenades, most too vicious to repeat. But even worse is her timing. The classic joke formation calls for a few beats between setup and joke. The late master Robin Harris was a genius at this: "My friend Tiny needs two tickets when he goes to the zoo" -- beat, beat, beat -- "one to get in, one to get out." With Cho it's like this: "Does the pope look like a transvestite or what?" Pause. Applause and woo-woos. Pause. Pause. Pause. Look around. Wait. Pause. "I mean, what's with that dress he wears?" Woo-woos, applause, etc.

Yep, that's her act. She doesn't tell jokes or make funny observations. She just says something mean, gets applause, says something pro-gay, gets applause.

A while ago a liberal reviewer from Slate, who was a fan of Cho's, admitted as such. Even while trying to claim the woman was funny, she had to admit that actually she wasn't:

The funniest part of a Cho gag is neither the setup nor the punch line, but that in-between moment when the audience is left in suspension, wondering what kind of character will emerge to take over her voice and body.

Ah. So the best part of a Margaret Cho show isn't when she's actually talking or telling jokes. It's when she's got her mouth shut, and you're filled with the tantalizing hope that This joke might actually turn out to be funny.

Then she tells the joke, and the frisson of comedic promise is dashed, dashed and shattered like a ceramic bong dropping to the floor out of Andy Dick's drunkenly-gesticulating hands.

Talk about damning with faint praise. The best part of 95% of movies is the opening credits, when you're filled with anticipation that this might actually be an enjoyable, smartly-made movie. And then the actual movie begins, ruining everthing.

But Margaret Cho is going with what works for her:

With each successive tour, Cho extends the length of these liminal moments, and a viewer new to her comedy will no doubt think, "Jeez, this woman's timing is really off."

If I had her act, I'd extend my periods of absolute silence as well.

Related: The Secret Martyrdom of Margerate Cho;

and Margaret Cho names dog after "chic" terrorist;

and Seriously, Margaret Cho isn't funny.

Thanks to See-Dubya.

Posted by: Ace at 08:02 AM | Comments (14)
Post contains 476 words, total size 3 kb.

Allah sends along...

75% of women agree with Katie Holmes' choice, and would rather kiss Tom Cruise than Chris Klein. I guess the women aren't in a placating mood.

Also from that story: 53% of women would rather kiss Owen Wilson than Luke (47%). My take: Why choose if you don't have to? I tell you, they should have named Bottle Rocket "Hot Toasty Delicious Wilson Brothers Sandwich."
I might have actually bothered to have seen it.

More interviewing here...

KLEIN (on working with Ryan Reynolds): This was a really cool opportunity for a couple of us actors to go out to the middle of nowhere, leave our egos at home and come to work everyday to make it the best we could. And I think we did.

Uh-huh. Something tells me this guy wouldn't leave his ego outside a bank vault.

You character goes through a significant transformation after high school. Have you ever reinvented yourself?

Yes, I became a complete fucking tool and a total fucking hump.

Okay, no, he didn't say that. Here's what he actually said: more...

Posted by: Ace at 10:57 PM | Comments (124)
Post contains 1148 words, total size 7 kb.

John Kerry, a day late and a million votes short, awkwardly attempts relating his own Cool Dick Cheney Fact.

Posted by: Ace at 10:36 PM | Comments (13)
Post contains 31 words, total size 1 kb.

Remember 'way back when I said I'd add some folks to the blogroll? Well, I finally did. I'm sure I glitched a lot of them, so let me know if yours is broken.

On the other hand, the long-broken Feisty Republican Whore and Urban Grind links should be fixed.

I finally added Naked Testicle Spiderman back to the blogroll. Hopefully this gesture of goodwill will end this vicious feud. Too many tears have been shed and too many lives have been lost already. Give up the hate, Jeff.

Digital Brownshirt is finally on there, as is JackM's new-ish site, Letters from Desolation Row. And, um, the understatedly named The Dorian Davis Republican Spectacular. I've owed him that link for the while.

Sorry about the lateness for these fixes/additions. Soon, in like six years, I'll get around to trimming the blogroll of all the dead links and abandoned blog. (Got rid of Allah's lapsed link, now being used for porno.)

Now: Yes, part II of the poetry contest, and all of those thank-you notes for donations I've assholishly not yet written. This week.

Posted by: Ace at 10:14 PM | Comments (20)
Post contains 186 words, total size 1 kb.

Hmmm... guess the MSM still has the juice.

The media enjoys correcting "misperceptions" the public may have, like the belief that Saddam had ties to Al Qaeda. (Let's just skip over that for the moment.)

Anyone think the media will make a concerted effort to educate the public that not only are we not in a recession, but the economy has been growing nearly as strong as it did under Clinton for the past two and a half years?

Posted by: Ace at 08:35 PM | Comments (14)
Post contains 97 words, total size 1 kb.