Six Meat Buffet devotes an entire post to ridiculing a commenter who bothers him.

Childish, yes. But if you've ever been in a comedy club, you know comics only take so much heckling before they make the heckler the star of the show.

PS, VonKreedon: Stop heckling or I will recount your GURPS-in-jail story in cringeworthy detail.

Posted by: Ace at 07:28 AM | Comments (11)
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June 24th: Land of the Dead.

I'll be there.

As I've argued with my typical brilliance and punchiness, zombie-flicks are the closest thing in the horror genre to a guarantee of at least a two-star experience.

Thanks to AllahPundit, who frets that it looks too much like the Dawn of the Dead remake.

Hey-- that rocked. What's the problem? Sure, I guess I prefer the Old School slow-shambling zombies, but if they want to speed them up for the kids (it's always about the kids, you know) I'm down with that, too.

As long as they look like gruesome and funereal like Nick Nolte after a three-day bender and devour human flesh (also, you know, like Nick Nolte after a three-day bender), they're zombies. The slow-shamble isn't sacred.

Update-- Debate in the Comments: Zombies-- retro or turbo?

Posted by: Ace at 08:21 PM | Comments (157)
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...and a beefcake bodybuilder lady pic at Temple of Jennifer.

I was all ready to rip on Rosie for her poetry-without-rhyme-or-meter thing.

But I have to admit-- there's something about the device that actually seems to work. It's just prose forced into an artificial format, but it does draw your eye down the page, and the fact that it kinda-sorta looks like a poem gives the rather pedestrian prose a veneer of the poetical.

As for her lesbian awakening-- well, everyone can laugh because it's Rosie, but it was a sort of sweet story. At least as far as I read; I stopped reading before it "got good."

Not sure if a sex story featuring Rosie O'Donnell can "get good," and I didn't really want to find out.

No, I'm Not Selling Out Update: Honest opinion. What can I say? I can't kneejerkedly trash everything a liberal does all the time.

99.999999% of the time, yes. I'm right there jerking the knee. But that one in one million times-- eh, whatever.

And To Prove It... Krakatoa sends this Filthy Critic review of recent movies about retardation, House of D and of course Riding the Bus With My Sister.

Of course, the [Duchovny's wife in House of D] tells him to go back to America and make everything right. I have no fucking idea why. I have this sneaking suspicion that Duchovny doesn't either. Just that every bad coming-of-age flashback movie has this sort of closure. ... [Why] would his estranged wife and son come all the way from France to see that? "Hey, honey, I know things have been awkward between us. But, if you just fly across the ocean to meet my retarded friend, I think everything will be all right. He's magical." What a fucking load of crap.

I like the way this guy thinks.

So many valuable lessons can be learned from retards, especially when they act nothing like real ones. Hell, why the fuck not make it a talking dog as long as it's so obviously fantasy?

Now this is getting scary. On to the Rosie movie:

McDowell must give up her lucrative yuppie lifestyle to make sure her little sister is okay. But, ho ho! Who takes care of whom? Sure, O'Donnell is the one you have to keep from eating a jar of Vaseline, but McDowell learns hard-won lessons about love and life. And who better to teach them than a retard? Or, rather, a potentially retarded celebrity hamfisting her way to a very special Emmy? Oh, man, I hope she goes to claim it in character.

Is this guy cribbing from me, damnit?

I think most people should be disgusted with Hollywood's "Precious Moments" portrayals of the retarded. It fucking pisses me off. Retards are people too, and they are people with serious problems. They are not cuddly pals who always teach us how to be better people.... But, Hollywood keeps trotting them out to prop them up as something they aren't. It think it has little to do with helping us understand mental disabilities, and a shitload to do with Hollywood wanting to feel good about themselves. Maybe they find it easier to act retarded than actually help the retarded. Or maybe they'd rather just approximate what goes on in families with handicapped members then spend time with them. Either way, fuck off, Hollywood. Use a monkey, a dwarf or anything but the helpless retarded.

He finishes by asking the question that we all want answered: Who makes a better "natural retard," Robin Williams or Rosie O'Donnell?

I won't give away his answer, but let's say his answer is unsatisfying in the same way that, say, a Marvel Comics' issue promising to show who would win in a fight, Thor or Hulk, also always turns out to be unsatisfying.

Posted by: Ace at 03:06 PM | Comments (51)
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It won't break the filibuster, but it may increase pressure on Democratic senators.

Patterico suggests that the Senate begin passing non-binding resolutions of support for each of Bush's nominees, to demonstrate they do in fact have majority support in the Senate.

If they do. There's the rub.

Collins, Snowe, Chaffee, McCain, and Specter currently don't have to actually vote on these nominees; their allies the Democrats are doing the dirty work for them. Maybe they would defect on such votes, perhaps joined by Voinovich and perhaps Hagel, thus causing the tactic to backfire.

Posted by: Ace at 02:53 PM | Comments (11)
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Well knock me over with a feather and stack me naked in a pile of dirty men.

Always remember: They support our troops. After all, they keep saying so, don't they?

The Mainstream Media

Believe everything we say. We went to better schools than you did! And even if we didn't-- we dress nice!

By the Way, He's Got An Agenda:

Three and a half years later, both his parents are “really proud of me,” Delgado says. Not so much because he went to war—serving a year in Iraq—but because he fought for and won status as a conscientious objector (CO), and is now speaking out against the war, the way his grandfather had spoken out against the wars in Korea and Vietnam, when his father had not.

In other artcles he describes himself as a liberal and notes early reluctance to want to fight, even prior to his negative experiences in the military, and especially at Abu Ghraib. If the example of the Left was followed when it came to allegations made by anyone with a possible agenda or political affiliation, then DelgadoÂ’s claims would already have been discredited by the media. (Just think about how many times allegations against Bill Clinton or John Kerry were dismissed out of hand because those making the allegations were either registered Republicans or had any affiliation whatsoever with anyone on the Right.) I do not believe that just because someone has an affiliation or agenda that his or her claims should be ignored, but those facts should obviously be taken into consideration, and I wanted to point out the mediaÂ’s double standard when it comes to these things.

I'm certain Bob Herbert dilligently noted all this.

I'm certain about a lot of things.

I'm crazy.

Posted by: Ace at 12:35 PM | Comments (14)
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Suddenly just regained most of the former functioning of his brain.

Said "I want to talk to my wife" and then spoke nonstop for 14 hours. I guess after 10 years of brain-damage-induced silence a guy actually winds up feeling like talking to his wife.

Little tip for you married fellas out there.

I won't make the obvious point. Oh wait, yes I will.

Michael Schiavo just announced that he is withdrawing his proposal of marriage to the fireman. "He's just not the man I fell in love with," he was quoted as saying. "He used to be so different. So sweet-natured, so unconscious, so... inert. I used to call him 'Droolie.'"

Thanks to The Warden.

Posted by: Ace at 11:36 AM | Comments (46)
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Great scam. A "wrong number" message hypes a stock, claiming that "that hot stockbroker I'm dating" knows such-and-such a stock is going up from $0.50 to $5.00 in the next couple of days, and that "Katie and Ron" have been told, but otherwise it's very hush-hush.

And then people call the number left on the "wrong number" message, buy the stock, and the hucksters then sell it like the Dickens when the price gets driven up high enough.

I got a similar message the other day.

I'm soooo fucking hhhhottt for this stock. I want to go craaaazy on this stock. I want to get any of these hookers and just do coke and have sex with this stock.

Betsy was going to buy 100 shares, but now she's not into it. She's so jealous.

If you agree with any of this, just wink or say Yes. Please go into the bathroom and leave me a message.

I don't do this for a living. This is all, like, new to me.

Thanks to the Fat Kid.

Posted by: Ace at 11:31 AM | Comments (39)
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I get the "Condi is Sooooo Hot" treatment that Instapundit got the other day.

And I've only mentioned she's hot three or four times.

Thanks to Knowledge is Power/SondraK (sponsored by her coquettish ass), who celebrates the tenth anniversary of the Million Man March.

Man, the tenth anniversary already? And I've got nothing planned, damnit. Oh, well. I guess I'll just play a couple of tracks from one of the six billion albums Tupac Shakur has released since he got himself dead and watch Garret Morris' old SNL bit, "I'm gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whiteys I see."

But really, the proper spoof of this site wouldn't have anything to do with Condi Rice. It would be more like a junior-high gay crush-diary, pretty much just all "I wonder if Instapundit likes me... Why did Instapundit not say hello to me in the hall today? Does he think he's all that? Is Michael Totten talking smack about me to him again?" and of course "AoS + IP: TLF."

Ugggchhh. What have I become.

What. Have I. Become.

PS: I haven't really made it. Plug in your own site's URL into the code at SondraK's site and you can turn your own site into a "Condi is soooo hot" shrine.

PPS: Someone should do a Pat O'Brien site spoofer.

Really. Seriously.

I'd link it. It would be sooooo f'n' hot. I'd go crazy on that spoof. I might even bring Betsy, as long as the spoof was into Betsy. She's so jealous.

Posted by: Ace at 11:05 AM | Comments (3)
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Must, must read. This is everything that's wrong with the mainstream LIBERAL media in one story.

Terry Neal uncritically takes the word of a liberal advocacy group that Orin Hatch previously supported filibusters.

His actual words made it clear that he did not support filibusters at all, and he specifically said:

I personally do not want to filibuster Federal judges. [President Clinton] won the election. He ought to have the right to appoint the judges he wants to.

If you had liberal professors in college, you know this for a fact: Yes, you could argue with them when it comes to final exam time. And, if you present a perfectly-argued essay with very few gaps in logic and sufficiently backed up by evidence, they might even give you a good grade.

But they are going to be reading your essay much, much more carefully, and little slips here and there are going to cost you.

On the other hand... if you just parrot back to the professor the crap she was spouting all semester, you can turn in a rather shoddy effort and get an A.

If you're principled, you may have chosen the former course. If you were me, on the other hand, you almost always chose the latter.

And so it is with our *very* liberal press corps. If a conservative group had presented Terry Neal with a "quote" allegedly from Chuck Schumer displaying hypocrisy on the issue, you'd better believe Neal would have checked and re-checked that quote to make sure the conservative group had gotten it right and wasn't misrepresenting him.

But when the target is Orin Hatch... well, Terry Neal just giggles with delight and, without any questioning or even a simple three-second Google search, writes "Great Job-- A+++" at the top of People For the American Way's essay.

And then prints that essay up in the WaPo as his own "story."

Thanks to Traffic Santa, who I'm afraid may have me on his "Naughty" list.

Posted by: Ace at 09:51 AM | Comments (11)
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The New York Sun notices the "Pajamas Media" venture of Blair, Simon, Reynolds, Charles "LGF" Johnson, Wretchard et. al:

In a dramatic sign that Web logs are going mainstream, three of the largest political blogs are banding together to form what is believed to be a first-of-its kind ad-supported network.

...

The venture will be called Pajamas Media, a not-so-subtle reference to the September remarks of a CNN executive, Jonathan Klein, who said a typical blogger has "no checks and balances" and is just "a guy sitting in his living room in his pajamas."

No launch date has been set.

...

The LittleGreenFootballs blogger, Charles Johnson, said the challenge is to keep the freewheeling character of a popular blog - where opinions and criticism are given freely - while meeting high standards and aggressively pursuing stories.

"Look at how blogs, with no coordination and limited money, scooped major papers and the networks on stories like Dan Rather, Eason Jordan, and the tsunami," he said.

Blah blah blah. Here's the part that interests me:

...

Mr. Hespos said that with attractive demographics, a popular blogger can make between $4,000 and $5,000 a month, which he said makes blogs economically viable. Based on standard rates of between $10 and $15 per thousand page views, he said it shouldn't be difficult to get Pajama Media's blog network into the $5,000-a-month range to start. Moreover, if the venture manages to gather page views going into the millions, the revenues could easily increase to between $12,000 and $15,000 per month.

They've signed up 180 blogs and counting for the deal. And Simon notes that blogs are taking off while the legacy media continues to lose marketshare.

Thanks to the Hotline's Blogometer.

Posted by: Ace at 09:23 AM | Comments (12)
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