Back in 99' the Washington legislature apparently passed a law prohibiting politicians from lying about opponents during campaigns. The Washington supreme court has now overturned that law citing free speech concerns.

I suspect Washington campaigns will become a lot more interesting now.

"My opponent has a wide stance"

"Perhaps, but you have a family of gerbils packed up your ass and your jacuzzi is filled with Crisco."

"My opponent has $90,000 in graft money stashed in his freezer"

"Perhaps, but you have the severed limbs of 10 hobos stashed in yours"

Sorry about the WA/AK mixup

Posted by: Purple Avenger at 07:56 AM | Comments (18)
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Fox Reality Channel will be featuring a new instant holiday classic, The Sorceress And The Sausage.

The show, which first aired in Britain in 2004, featured six men competing for the 21-year-old Mexican stunner. They were filmed in Ibiza, Spain, kissing and seducing Miriam for weeks before she revealed she was a pre-op transsexual - a she-male. One contestant punched out a producer and they all sued, claiming they'd been tricked and were devastated.

But he's so pretty! I can't believe a little thing like an extra complete set of wedding tackle would matter to a guy when he's looking at this:

Trick or Treat

Here's a link to one of the original negative reviews.

The reviews are a bit harsh. If two people fall in love, what does it matter if the lovely bride is hung like a bull elephant? Am I right? More to love.

Thanks to Spongeworthy.

[UPDATE - PA] If you're feeling a hotness in your pants maybe its your I-Pod.

...The iPod uses a lithium ion battery -- the same type of battery under recall for setting laptops on fire.

Williams said the fact is iPod Nano burst into flames while he was at work was bad enough, where he works could have been another issue. He works at a kiosk in Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport.

“If TSA had come by and seen me smoking, they could have honestly thought I was a terrorist,” said Williams...

UPDATE 2 (Jack M.): "The Sorceress and the Sausage"? More like "The Princess and the Penis" if you ask me.

I'm telling you...when will Red Eye hire me to write for the show? Not just anyone can make these artfully crafted kinds of jokes, you know.

Posted by: LauraW. at 06:23 AM | Comments (76)
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The weekly reminder. I'm just like that Yahoo email, without the helpful link.

14 games again this week, all Sunday except Dallas (BOOYAH!) and Buffalo on Monday. I'm clawing and scraping myself up out of the cellar (whatever those are, we don't have em down here) with 26, ten points behind the evil Bart.

I'm pacing myself.

UPDATE: PHenry asked if we could post combined leader results from AOSHQI and AOSHQII (because the bastard is leading right now). Here's what I got:

1 PHenry 39
2 DrewBledsoe for HoF 37
3 Bart 36
3 BostonIrish 36
4 RedHatRob 35
4 sundanceloki 35

If there's another pool, lemme know. Also, if you've bailed from a pool and the only reason you're in the cellar is you ain't pickin (unlike me, so I got a reason), lemme know. ace (0), steve_in_hb(16), did you move to another? Once that's tidied up I'll post the bottom feeders too.

Posted by: Dave In Texas at 05:41 AM | Comments (14)
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The operation took place several hours ago, and targeted a cell accused of smuggling weapons for Iran.

They were carrying rifles, RPGs, and one man was believed to have an anti-aircraft weapon. Also suspected to be a splinter group from the Mahdi Army, which was ordered by Mook to cease attacks on U.S. Forces and Iraqis.

Last month U.S. forces arrested a Quds officer, Mahmudi Farhadi, who was posing as a businessman with a trade delegation. In January we picked up five other Quds in a raid in Irbil.

Iran insists they were there on official business. Which isn't technically a lie. Why I'm sure I read somewhere that we send Rangers out as part of trade delegations all the time.

Iran is a peaceful nation. Write that down.

Posted by: Dave In Texas at 04:45 AM | Comments (11)
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I can't discuss my main problems with the movie without spoiling the ending -- though the filmmakers did a fair job of spoiling the ending themselves -- so I'll just make this short.

Acting, fine. Dialogue -- well, it's a talky, slow movie, but the dialogue is okay.

Plot -- ah, there's the rub. Not only is it full of contrivance along the way, but the ending is simply awful. I suspected from the commercials this was a misconceived movie -- they were trying to make Russell Crowe a good guy, which would be fine in a different movie, but in a movie where one good guy (Christian Bale) has to get this other good guy (who's a heartless killer, but he's charming and okay at doodling with pencil and can quote from Proverbs so we know he Has A Conscience), the plot simply doesn't allow for any sort of plausible and satisfying detente between the men. They're at cross-purposes, and one man's farm and another man's life depend on defeating the other; it's just not realistic they could share goals.

The filmmakers know what emotional climax they want to get to but seem to have no idea how to actually get the plot to accommodate them, and so simply force the emotional resolution they want through unspeakably lame sudden changes in heart arrived through ever-more-personal confessions between the male leads.

I swear, at one point I was expecting Bale or Crowe to admit, "One time? At band camp?"

There were any number of easy plotlines they could have selected to get there -- external threats that unite them, like Evil Railroad Pinkerton Goons or the like -- but they rejected those, I guess, as "too easy" and went with something that would really make us think.

It made me think all right. It made me think this movie was a misconceived piece of shit and a waste of any number of good actors.

I should have known the movie was headed in a bad direction when, in two-shots with Christian Bale and Russell Crowe riding on horseback side by side, the director and DP chose to keep neither man in focus. Each man drifts in and out of focus as he moves slightly closer or further from the camera. I assume they knew how to actually keep a single actor in focus, if they chose to; but some theory of "natural focus" or something made them choose to frequently simply let the subject become blurry for no particular reason, except to highlight the reality of the unreality, or the unreality of the reality, not sure which. The only thing it heightened for me was the awareness that I was watching a movie, and furthermore, one apparently lensed by a meth addict with an itchy focus finger.

A charitable two stars just for the plethora of decent actors (including Peter Fonda and Alan Tudyk, and a very distracting cameo from Luke Wilson showing up to play a two-bit heavy -- um, no, don't do that, he doesn't fit and he's too big a star now and we're all just waiting for him to say something funny). But very disappointing and not recommended at all, not even on video.

Action? No, not worth it, not particularly realistic or good. Watch Open Range again, or try the underrated Wyatt Earp. Or try a movie that actually manages a convincing job of uniting a lawman and the fugitive he's trying to bring to justice: Midnight Run.

Incidentally... I have no idea why this movie is rated R. Or rather I know why it's rated R; I just don't know why on earth the filmmakers sought that rating. There isn't enough violence in the film to grab the R; a couple of bloody gunshots and one pulling of a bullet from a gut but I bet they could have gotten away with that in a PG-13 movie. The rating seems to come exclusively from the three or four f-bombs they drop near the film's beginning.

Sometimes studios want an R rating to suggest an adult-themed movie or something, but I don't get the reason to restrict the audience just for the sake of three or four uses of "fuck." I mean, if you're doing Midnight Run or Goodfellas where every other word is "fuck," fine, go with it. But for three or four? They went R for that?

I'm not questioning their taste; I'm questioning their business acumen. The movie's a stiff and they needed all the box office they could get. Why not try to trick some teenage girls into seeing a couple of male hotties?

(On second thought, Bale's 14-year-old son wags a gun around. He does so with lawful intent, but maybe the MPAA has some PC rule about underage boys holding guns, like their PC rule about smoking. So maybe that's the real reason they got the R, and since they were already stuck with that, they threw in a few takes with the f-word in them.)

Posted by: Ace at 08:53 PM | Comments (47)
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Something tells me this would have been a bigger story if the Army and Marines had failed to meet their Fiscal Year 2007 recruiting goals. I guess the fact that young men and women continue to volunteer to serve their country in a time of war isnÂ’t a big story after all.

Or maybe it’s just that this type of news fails the most important test ‘the deciders’ in the MSM subject every story to…does this news help or hurt Democrats?

Army officials said they had exceeded by several hundred their target of recruiting 80,000 new active duty soldiers for fiscal year 2007, which ended on Sept. 30.

Last month, the Army said it had already gone beyond its retention target of getting 62,200 soldiers to re-enlist for the same period.

The Marine Corps said it had exceeded its goal of growing its ranks to 184,000 in the same fiscal year and now had 186,000 Marines.

In a shocking but welcomed development, Reuters breaks from the meta-narrative and acknowledges that there are reasons other than lack of options that motivate brave Americans to serve their country.

Logan Bilyeu, a 20-year-old from Bend, Oregon, said he had been motivated to join the Army by a tradition of military service in his family and a desire to fight for the values associated with America.

"A lot of people have asked me why I joined, especially in times like this," he said. "It's about the flag. ... I understand that we all have to fight for our rights and what we believe."

Actually Logan, we don’t ‘all have to fight’ thanks to people like you and your fellow Soldiers, Marines, Airmen and Sailors.

May we be worthy of their service and sacrifice.

Hat Tip: OPFOR

UPDATE:

LetÂ’s flashback to the dark days of our military recruitment crisis (AKA, 2 weeks ago) when Senator Dick Durbin was arguing we needed to pass the DREAM Act and legalize millions of illegal aliens in order to deal with the, "recruitment crisis we face today."

Now that the military has shown there is no crisis, can we scrap the amnesty plan Senator? I won't be holding my breath.

Posted by: DrewM. at 06:09 PM | Comments (23)
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Eh, since Media Matters is now just making shit up, why can't I?

He did call him a "nut," which I take to be one of those "racial code words" I've heard so much about for the other n-word. Close enough; who's to say precisely what he said?

I call upon the Senate to denounce Jeffrey Toobin for trafficking in such slurs.

Posted by: Ace at 02:34 PM | Comments (25)
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So when Democrats claim they're not all anti-American jihadi-sympathizing wannabe-Quislings, they're right: 60% of them -- more than a majority! -- view an American victory in a major war as preferable to defeat.

Thanks to CJ.

Posted by: Ace at 02:16 PM | Comments (27)
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Her claim: That a medical condition that prevents someone from serving in the army should logically also prevent him from sitting in a chair for three hours doing a radio show.

From now on I think I'm going to call Lizzy Edwards "Professor Science." I think she's earned that right.

When did John Edwards serve, I'm wondering?

And I'm kind of doubting Elizabeth Edwards' reasons for not serving.

Good God, the woman looks like she played strong-side linebacker for one of Buddy Ryan's more thuggish squads. She could have been Rowdy Roddy Piper's stunt double in They Live. She's got all the the feminine grace of bulldozer colliding with a monster truck and then both smashing into a cock factory.

Posted by: Ace at 01:18 PM | Comments (64)
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CONTENT WARNING. Zombietime went to the Folsom Street Fair and her camera is unblinking. Well, I guess it blinks, but just to take the pictures.

Serious content warning. If you thought it was bad, baby, you have no idea.

Question: How many times do you think Nancy Pelosi will be asked about this disgusting public display by the MSM?

The under/over is zero. And if you're taking the over, you're a chump.

One of the few photos I can post here:

Oh... and this, of course. NOte: This is not from Zombietime's series, but an MSM report from the 2005 fair. (Thanks to Dianna for suggesting this clarification.)

Two toddlers dressed in studded leather harnesses enjoy frolicking among the men giving each other handjobs and bullwhip enemas.

Humorous...

I didn't know Cthulhu was "one of them." I've seen him in Japanese porn a lot but he's always seemed straight. Then again I here some straight male porn actors go gay for the higher paycheck. Cthulhu may lie dreaming in his House in R'yleh, but he still needs to pay the mortgage.

Oh: Reminder, this was largely sponsored by Miller Beer. And Miller Beer representatives did in fact wear leatherboy outfits in their booths.

So, there you go. I drank the beer, but I think I might switch to Coors Light. I'm not big on boycotting but I'm sick of this disgusting double-standard where corporations are allowed to pump money into shit like this but won't pony up a dime for anything tainted with conservatism, because that would be "controversial."

Posted by: Ace at 12:55 PM | Comments (53)
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