The professional media in action.

Posted by: Ace at 02:57 PM | Comments (14)
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A state senator in South Dakota is accused of sexually fondling a male page.

Can you guess what party he belongs to?

Well, you'll just have to read the story to find out if you're right.

The story has sixteen paragraphs.

Guess which paragraph notes his party affiliation?

Your answer is either "1st paragraph" if you guessed he was a Republican or "16th paragraph" if he was a Democrat, right?

Well, it's not in the first paragraph.

Thanks to T-Web.

Posted by: Ace at 02:53 PM | Comments (8)
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1,190 feet.

Now 1,739 ft. Booyah.

Via Isophorone.

Posted by: Ace at 02:24 PM | Comments (39)
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I know that makes no sense. Stick with it. It will make sense, while still making no sense.

Chinese police have arrested three men for killing two young women to sell their corpses as "ghost brides" for dead single men, a Chinese newspaper reported, warning the dark custom might have claimed many other victims.

Yang Donghai, a 35-year-old farmer in western China's Shaanxi province, confessed to killing a woman bought from a poor family for 12,000 yuan ($1,545) last year.

She thought she was being sold into an arranged marriage, but Yang killed her in a gully and sold her corpse for 16,000 yuan, the Legal Daily reported Thursday. He and two accomplices then killed a prostitute and sold her for 8,000 yuan before police caught them.

"I did it for the money; it was a quick buck," Yang said, according to the paper. "If I hadn't slipped up early, I planned to do a few more."

The women were victims of an old belief, still alive in the yellow-earth highlands of western China, that young men who die unmarried should go to their graves accompanied by deceased women who will be their wives in the afterlife. Often these women die natural deaths.

Police in Yanan, the poor and dusty corner of Shaanxi where Chairman Mao Zedong nurtured his Communist revolution, said the dark trade went beyond these cases.

"The actual number is far from just these," the paper said.

China is the new superpower for weird shit.

Posted by: Ace at 02:15 PM | Comments (20)
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Well... okay, but only because half of their days are spent away from home, at work, on the computer. At home, as regards free time? I doubt very much that this is true.

The survey found 65 percent of respondents spent more time with a computer than with their spouse or significant other.

But the thing is: it's fake but accurate. People do spend too much time on the computer, I think. Not everyone, but a lot. Almost to the point of excluding their loved ones.

Unless you consider "mikey" a loved one.

But what the hell can this finding possibly mean?

A majority of Americans (52%) describe their most recent experience with a computer problem as one of anger, sadness or alienation.

First: if it's an "experience with a computer problem," what the hell kind of feeling are people supposed to have? Jubillation? Coquettish insouciance?

Second: Alienation?

From what?

Jaglesh at customer service?

Thanks to carl carlson.

Posted by: Ace at 01:45 PM | Comments (27)
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This story is more fun if you pretend this guy looks like the Joker, which he really doesn't.

Just play along.

[A] 35-year-old man from the Dutch town of Hellevoetsluis decided to paint his face black and dress up as Batman's goofy trickster-thief rival and was astounded that his new appearance was accepted without a hitch. Initially, the man was asked not to wear a hat, but when he argued it was because of religious beliefs, he was allowed to leave it on.

Ah yes, The Joker's famous black-painted face, and his signature striped hat.

Do the Dutch know who the hell The Joker is? Are they confusing him with the Hamburglar? Maybe Batman fights the Hamburglar over there.

Eh, what do you expect from the Dutch. They've got pasty white blood pumping through their veins.

You read history? I love history. I find that shit fascinating. One of the things I appreciate is that the Scandis conquered the Netherlands, and did so much fuckin' -- right? right? -- they changed the bloodline forever. White face, blonde hair became slighly whiter face, slightly blonder hair.

They're goose-eggs.

Posted by: Ace at 01:03 PM | Comments (44)
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Shockingly, dressing like an idiot isn't dressing for success -- even success at street crime.

Police caught up with and arrested a 16-year-old youth after his loose-fitting pants slipped down around his legs and forced him to his knees, the Police Department said Wednesday.

Officers spotted the boy Monday afternoon and gave chase, Covington police said.

The 16-year-old, whose name was not released, was wanted in the beating and robbery of a 35-year-old Covington man Nov. 2 and the carjacking and beating with a brick of another man Jan. 14, police said.

...

He also was booked as being a child in need of supervision.

... and maybe a nice belt, too.

Really, if you want to be a l33t street fighter, you have to dress more like Bart Connors in Gymkata.

Thanks to JackStraw.

Posted by: Ace at 12:37 PM | Comments (17)
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Bonus: It runs on nothing but switchgrass, turkeynecks, and hatred, so none of you guys will ever have to spend a penny on gas again.

I'd hit it.

Via Kaus, I think. Maybe in some roundabout way.

Posted by: Ace at 11:54 AM | Comments (28)
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It's not going to knock your socks off, but it'll kill five minutes of your bosses' time.

Posted by: Ace at 11:40 AM | Comments (16)
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Got this off HotAir. Looks like Think Progress was caught dead-to-rights.

Posted by: Ace at 11:11 AM | Comments (35)
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