They're all between 8 and 13.

Really, really amazing. Wish I could embed the video, but the best I can do is link.

Pretty much a must watch, even if you're sitting there, like I was, thinking you don't want to watch little girls sing the Anthem.

Thanks to JAFKIAC.

Posted by: Ace at 07:44 PM | Comments (118)
Post contains 64 words, total size 1 kb.

I used to envy Mary Katharine Ham's position on the O'Reilly Factor.

Used to.

He's quite serious about this. Just as the Nazis demonized the Jews and Gypsies before throwing them into the ovens, so too does HuffPo demonize its political opponents, so, you know.

Connect the dots. Do I have to draw you a map?

All right, let me draw it for you verbally. Let "X" mark where the Nazis are.

Let "X" also mark where HuffPo is.

The "X" indicates they're both at the same position. Distance = 0.

Map completed.

Q.E.D.

What a fucking moron. I wonder where the Big Oil Company Fatcats fit into this scheme.

He's just lookin' out for the folks, people. Just lookin' out for the folks. His over-the-top diatribes against "Internet smear merchants" like "Stuart Smalley over there" have absolutely nothing to do with embarrassing revelations concerning himself, a young woman, a shower, and some sort of combination Middle Eastern crepe and bath-sponge.

Posted by: Ace at 05:57 PM | Comments (67)
Post contains 181 words, total size 1 kb.

Governors in both states say they're willing to consider it.

Heh.

Also, Obama says he'll sharpen criticism of Hillary, blamed his Texas and Ohio losses on those mean mean meanies in the media. And Lorne Michaels.

If they ever start mocking his ears he is gonna break down and cry.

UPDATE: Howard Dean says if the state parties can come up with an agreeable plan, which doesn't seem all that difficult, the DNC would go along with it, but won't pay for it.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at 02:39 PM | Comments (116)
Post contains 95 words, total size 1 kb.

Okay I'm going to semi-retire that something-normal-comma-something unexpected joke construction for a while. It's getting really hack.

But:

Via Allah, who's riding his own sturdy headline-horse pretty hard lately.

Eh, just kidding. It's a good one. Always useful. Wish I could use it myself, but I can't swipe everything from him.

Whoops! Hat tip to McGurk, who is responsible for one of the best damn photoshops to ever appear on this site. He posted this over the weekend.

Sorry.. I was away from the blog. It's awesome enough to warrant a re-post anyway.

PS, I'll find some use for that photoshop again. It's been a while since I slapped up Andrew Sullivan. But I, like most people, stopped reading him years ago.

Is he still the only true conservative in America, apart from Glenn Greenwald? Still on the gay marriage jag? Still balling his eyes out over "torture"?

Not sure. I'll have to check on that.

Bonus! If you really want to go the opposite direction from that big gun = overcompensation for small penis thing (so far in the opposite direction, in fact, that it begins to seem... suspicious), you can try the world's tiniest gun.

And... Yes, this was linked before, but let us not forget the world's first true automatic shotgun, plus mini-missile frag grenade shells.

Posted by: Ace at 01:42 PM | Comments (33)
Post contains 241 words, total size 2 kb.

Kudos, I guess, for a paper printing such a long, embarrassing, and thorough trashing of a blatantly erroneous and agenda-driven concoction by one of its own reporters.

But: A six paragraph correction like this should probably run after every singe NYT political, cultural, or legal article published.

What the fuck did the reporter get right here?

To quote Shattered Glass, after a reporter attempts to verify a fantastical Steven Glass story: "I was able to confirm one fact. There is, apparently, a US state called 'Nevada.'"

Thanks to CADDaddy.

Posted by: Ace at 01:02 PM | Comments (21)
Post contains 113 words, total size 1 kb.

Gee, what do you think they're trying to say? Support the troops, I reckon. Or they'll kill you and eat your ass.

I haven't had fall-off-the-bone tender
Children's Fingers like this since Da Nang.

And in a development that surprises absolutely no one except John McCain himself, the Republican nominee is now being treated by the MSM as a Republican, with only 30% positive coverage as compared to Obama's 67%.

And even that understates how positive Obama's coverage has been -- 25% of his coverage was neutral, and the 8% of his coverage that was negative at all came only from special NBC White House correspondent Satan, the Prince of Lies, who vowed "Barack Obama will never establish a Kingdom of Heaven on Earth while I yet draw breath!"

He then laughed as he got into a limo with "longtime companion" David Shuster.

Posted by: Ace at 11:39 AM | Comments (87)
Post contains 173 words, total size 1 kb.

Don't get excited. I doubt there's a majority in our own caucus for this, nevermind in the entirety of the Democrat-controlled Senate.

Still. Baby steps. Baby frigging steps.

Senate Republicans are set to announce Wednesday the hardest-hitting package of immigration enforcement measures seen yet — one that would require jail time for illegal immigrants caught crossing the border, make it harder for them to open bank accounts and compel them to communicate in English when dealing with federal agencies.

...

One would discourage states from issuing driverÂ’s licenses to illegal immigrants by docking 10 percent of highway funding from states that continue to do so. Another would extend the presence of National Guard on the border and a third would end language assistance at federal agencies and the voting booth for people with limited English ability.

A bill by Sen. Jeff Sessions, R-Ala., who is leading the effort, would impose a maximum two-year jail sentence on someone caught crossing the border for a second time.

Â…Other bills in the package would:

• Block federal funding from cities that bar their police from asking about immigration status.

Give the Department of Homeland Security the authority to use information from the Social Security Administration to target illegal immigrants.

• Require construction of 700 miles of fencing along the Southern border, not including vehicle barriers. [ed.: Counting vehicle barriers as part of the human-traffic-stopping fence is a cheap trick the open borders cocksuckers keep trying to play -- and I include Bush and McCain in that description.]

• Impose sanctions on countries that refuse to repatriate their citizens.

• Deport any immigrant, legal or illegal, for one drunken-driving conviction.

• Enable local and state police to enforce federal immigration laws

None of this will pass, but at least it is pushing towards border security and far, far away from amnesty and open borders.

Posted by: Ace at 11:27 AM | Comments (28)
Post contains 302 words, total size 2 kb.

"According to some psychologists," you understand.

Their headline?

Was Killing the Puppy a Way of Coping for One Marine?

Stressful Environment May Have Contributed to Marine Apparently Tossing a Dog to His Death

The media is ever eager to malign our soldiers -- except when a larger target, such as the president or war itself, presents itself. In that case, apparent psychopaths are explained away as casualties of "the system."

Note well they're not even absolving these soldiers -- what in fact they're doing is indicting all soldiers, because by fixing blame not on a trio of low-grade sociopaths unfit to wear the uniform but on the military itself, they're indicting all soldiers as would be killers of humans as well as puppies.

Gee, thanks for your "defense" of the troops, ABCNews. With friends like you, our soldiers don't need Al Qaeda.

Posted by: Ace at 11:09 AM | Comments (43)
Post contains 178 words, total size 1 kb.

Ah, satirical. No problem them.

They don't actually claim it was satirical per se, but rather an elaborate hoax designed not to harm anyone, just protest against the War in Iraq.

Although the detonators on their makeshift bombs fired, the main charges failed to explode and no one was killed.

See, they made bombs with real explosives but which failed to blow up... intentionally. They knew the detonators wouldn't fire the charges. That's part of the gag.

Get it?

Well criminy, nothing's funny if you have to explain it to death.

The Religion of Peace TV's Greatest Bloopers and Practical Jokes.

Posted by: Ace at 10:47 AM | Comments (19)
Post contains 127 words, total size 1 kb.

Quickly spreading pancreatic cancer, the National Enquirer reports.

Cripes.

Thanks to tmi3rd.

Update: A "good" source of Perez Hilton's says Swayze's working on a movie and does not appear ill at all.

Thanks to Liberrocky.

Update 2 [Dave in Texas]: Swayze's representative Annett Wolf confirms he is being treated for pancreatic cancer, is well enough to work, and the brief prognosis from his doc sounds encouraging.

Posted by: Ace at 10:13 AM | Comments (38)
Post contains 94 words, total size 1 kb.