Uncle Jimbo at Blackfive has the full take down of this assclown but hereÂ’s a taste.

Think about any of the generals you've seen in recent years -- Norman Schwarzkopf, Barry McCaffrey, Wesley Clark (all now retired) and others -- and the image you'll conjure no doubt includes a chest full of shimmering decorations. In Petraeus' case, most of them don't represent actual military action as much as they do the general's devotion to the institution of the U.S. Army and vice versa. According to an annotated photograph produced by the Times of London last year, the majority of ribbons on Petraeus' impressive "rack" were earned for various flavors of distinguished service. As brave as he may be and as meritorious in general, is all that ostentation the best way to present the situation in Iraq to an increasingly war-skeptical public?

Umm, isnt’ that coming awful close to calling Petraeus a ‘chickenhawk general’?

This guy, Matthew DeBord goes on to critique the message supposedly sent by General Peraeus wearing his Class A Uniform before Congress. I am sure someone will correct me if I am wrong but I am pretty sure that by regulation, he has to wear that uniform in front of Congress.

Of course if the General wore what he wears on a ‘normal day’ in Iraq, the ever ready to be offended and stupid Mr. DeBord would be railing about the disrespect the General was showing Congress by not wearing his dress uniform.

I know to a guy like DeBord everything is about fashion and proper place settings but allow me to offer this pimple on the ass of humanity a bit of adviceÂ…when it comes to the men and women wearing their nationÂ’s uniform, here are the only two words you really needÂ…thank you. If you go much beyond that you run the risk of beclowing yourself.

Bonus bit of assclown bashing below the fold. more...

Posted by: DrewM at 09:19 AM | Comments (54)
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Are you scared now, Idiots?

The price of beer is likely to rise in coming decades because climate change will hamper the production of a key grain needed for the brew — especially in Australia, a scientist warned Tuesday.

Jim Salinger, a climate scientist at New Zealand's National Institute of Water and Atmospheric Research, said climate change likely will cause a decline in the production of malting barley in parts of New Zealand and Australia. Malting barley is a key ingredient of beer.

“It will mean either there will be pubs without beer or the cost of beer will go up,” Mr. Salinger told the Institute of Brewing and Distilling convention.

...

New Zealand and Australian brewer Lion Nathan's corporate affairs director Liz Read said climate change already was forcing up the price of malted barley, sugar, aluminum and sugar.

Yes, I've read that Australia's aluminum farmers are suffering from droughts, causing a poor aluminum crop this year. Sad.

...

Ms. Read said that in addition to climate change, barley growers are grappling with competition from other forms or land use, such as the dairy industry.

"In addition to" = "completely because of the other thing but a story about land use competition from milk producers won't get your story published"

The next headline coming if you jerkoffs don't get with the program?

Global Warming Causing Scarcity of Tits, Ass
Benny Hill Fans, NBA Players Hardest Hit

Thanks to krakatoa.

Posted by: Ace at 08:53 AM | Comments (62)
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There's a twist. "Allah bless America" for doing just that.

Must watch.

Posted by: Ace at 08:27 AM | Comments (37)
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He found $140,000, cash.

He turned it in to the bank.

He got a $2000 finder's fee.

His mom says it should have been 10%.

Anyone who's not retarded would put that figure closer to 100%.

Sad.

Thanks to RobG.

BTW, the headline is a joke. He's not really mentally handicapped.

At least he hasn't been diagnosed as such yet. Though I would say this is a pretty good sign he ought to schedule an appointment to make sure he's not -- what's the proper medical term? -- brain-fucked.

Posted by: Ace at 08:16 AM | Comments (29)
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I had a similar story in the sidebar, which quickly mentioned this anecdote, but it seems interesting enough, and weird enough, for a post.

A man who received a heart transplant 12 years ago and later married the donor's widow died the same way the donor did, authorities said: of a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

Maybe the wife is just really, really annoying.

So that movie they remake every two years -- "Oh noes! I got this serial killer's hand and now I wants to stab people!" -- has some basis in fact.

I guess.

Thanks to Dave in Texas.

Posted by: Ace at 07:45 AM | Comments (23)
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Yes, a hooded sweatshirt. It's a racial codeword, ya know.

I guess the white racial codeword -- to let you know I'm talking about "one of us" -- is slacks.

This is actually from some bint in the British press, which is about 80% goofier than our own press, if you can imagine such a thing.

A critic writes:

Zoe inhabits a particular corner of London media life so insulated from the real world that she has to project all her own experiences onto the rest of us as a substitute for actually knowing what sheÂ’s talking about. A glance at any daily front page in the Independent gives you an idea what I mean. Mm, yes. Plastic bags. Something must be done. Food miles. Absolutely. A Chilean glacier retreating? Terrible. Terrible. Shit, weÂ’re out of tapenade.

In a sense itÂ’s classic Guardianista handwringing - Zoe hates herself for the slightly jittery feeling she gets when she sees a group of black youths on a street corner, and if her spider sense can detect lurking racism inside even herself, then it stands to reason that the rest of us, whose liberal credentials are far less impeccable, must be far, far worse, surely?

I don't think it's the latter. It's the former. Lefties and liberals suffer from an overweening moral vanity and they just never get tired of saying "I'm/We're better!" But one can't just come right out and say that; it's a bit unclassy. So instead it's the neverending parade of concerns and worries and outrage which serves notice that the speaker or writer is in fact Very Conscientious and anyone who is Very Conscientious should immediately agree and in fact attempt to one-up the original statement by saying something even stupider.

My friend Boston Irish used to go to parties and attempt this one-upsmanship with liberals. If someone made a liberal statement, especially one involving a "study" or a "fact" that "everyone knows," he would immediately deadpan, "And even worse, a study says that by 2010 the entire state of California will be homeless."

"I know!" came the inevitable, thrilled chirp of agreement.

No matter how jackass a "fact" he threw out there, no one would disagree. To disagree with a "fact" like that would be not play the game of We're-So-Special and to be a total buzzkill.

I'm not sure if the left and liberals have functioning bullshit detectors anymore. Perhaps years of actually swallowing such tripe has dulled them. Or perhaps they still sort of know this stuff is horseshit, but they are observing a social code that says you can never express a hint of skepticism over a purported "fact" which seems to advance The Cause.

Posted by: Ace at 07:29 AM | Comments (43)
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Hmmm...

Sadr wanted, he said, a ruling from the country's cleric's on his army. This seems to be such a ruling.

With the Iraqi government applying pressure to the Sadrist movement and Muqtada al Sadr to disband the Mahdi Army, IraqÂ’s senior Shia cleric has weighed in on the issue. Grand Ayatollah Ali Sistani, the most revered Shia cleric in Iraq, backed the governmentÂ’s position that the Mahdi Army should surrender its weapons and said he never consulted with Sadr on disbanding the Mahdi Army. Instead, the decision to disband the Mahdi Army is SadrÂ’s to make.

Sistani spoke through Jalal el Din al Saghier, a senior leader of the Islamic Supreme Council of Iraq, a rival political party to the Sadrist movement. Saghier was clear that Sistani did not sanction the Mahdi Army and called for it to disarm.

"Sistani has a clear opinion in this regard; the law is the only authority in the country," Saghier told Voices of Iraq, indicating Sistani supports Prime Minister Nouri al Maliki and the government in the effort to sideline the Mahdi Army. "Sistani asked the Mahdi army to give in weapons to the government.

If you read on, you'll see that Sadr is backing away from his previous quote (which he disputes) and saying he doesn't give a fig about Sistani.

AJ Strata actually had this the day before. Why did no one notice? Because this big news was tucked away at the end of an article, where few would see it.

Thanks to RBT.

Posted by: Ace at 07:07 AM | Comments (12)
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This is just an accident, right? They just happen to keep missing out on these stories somehow, despite having reporters in attendance, right?

Posted by: Ace at 06:22 AM | Comments (13)
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Yeah, itÂ’s hard to believe thatÂ’s possible but heÂ’s traveling to Syria to meet withÂ…Hamas.

A senior Hamas official has confirmed that former President Jimmy Carter will meet with Khaled Meshal, the exiled head of the Palestinian terror group Hamas, during a visit to Syria next week, according to the Associated Press.

The official, Mohammed Nazzal, told the AP that Carter sent an envoy to Damascus requesting a meeting with Hamas leadership, including Meshal, and that Hamas "welcomed the request." The meeting will take place on April 18, he said.

I guess he was worried that Bill Clinton was challenging him for title of “Worst Ex-President Ever” and decided to up the ante.

And who is Jimmy leaning to supporting in the Democratic primary? Why heÂ’s hinting heÂ’s with Mr. Talk To EverybodyÂ…The Obamassiah.

Speaking to local reporters Wednesday on a trip to Nigeria, the former Democratic president noted that Barack Obama had won his home state of Georgia and his hometown of Plains.

"My children and their spouses are pro-Obama. My grandchildren are also pro-Obama," he said at a press conference, according to the Nigerian newspaper This Day. "As a superdelegate, I would not disclose who I am rooting for, but I leave you to make that guess."

I am sure the press will get right on asking Obama what he thinks about CarterÂ’s trip.

Posted by: DrewM at 06:05 AM | Comments (23)
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A lot of these are on here just because they're famous, of course.

Cheezburger Cheezeburger? Come on.

I never, ever got the Kids In The Hall's "Chicken Lady" sketch, which seemed to be their "Mango." Well, that and the Buddy Love guy on every other show.

And "Ministry of Silly Walks" is an awful sketch. John Cleese's silly walk is hilarious, but the sketch written around it (by Michael Palin and the not-terribly-funny Terry Jones) is just not funny at all.

Anyone want to guess in advance at #1? It's the Stairway to Heaven of comedy sketches. You know on every Labor Day Block Party Weekend Countdown you're ending with Stairway to Heaven, and you know what the capper has to be here.*

Still, a lot of good ones on here. Check out your favorites before they get pulled down.

Thanks to Ray Midge.

* Oh, now that I see #2, I see it's not obvious which has to be number one at all. #2 is a pretty strong candidate, stronger than whatever Stairway to Heaven has to beat, like, I don't know, Born to Run or whatever winds up in the top ten.

The Best Sketch from the Last SNL: Not great, but it's funny, and it's Walken.
more...

Posted by: Ace at 07:48 PM | Comments (115)
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