August 22, 2009
— Open Blog Good evening all morons and moronettes. It's Saturday night so throw some meat on the fire, pour some whiskey, and prepare to speak of manly things.
Item #1: Charles Bronson Was a Man Part XIV
Everyone knows that Charles Bronson had the manliness of three ordinary manly men. He accumulated it while growing up in abject poverty in Pennsylvania. His family was so poor that he was forced to wear the hand-me-down dress of an older sister to school which will toughen you up fast. But then his father died when he was 10 and he had to start working in the local coal mine making $1 for each ton of coal he dug out. When WWII came he joined the Army Air Force and flew bombing missions over Japan in a B-29.
Later even the Japanese came to respect his sheer masculinity. This is a commercial from 1970 for the cologne, Mandom!. Really what else would you expect Bronson to wear? And his manly badassery hadn't even peaked yet - Death Wish was still four years in the future. So toss your shirt, slather on some Mandom, shoot some stuff and maybe you can be one tenth a Bronson. And yes the ISO standard for manliness is measured in Bronsons.
Item #2: 10 Curse Words You Don't Know
Okay a lot of these you will know, but I think it's time we expanded the moron verbal palette as it were. There are many, many curse words in English that have fallen from use over the years and these really ought to be brought back to their rightful place of shame. Plus we can always plunder other languages for the best of their expletives. Personally I enjoy the Norwegian ones since they have a nice bite to them and sound like they should be curse words. And for the English ones, I will point you all to the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue. That is if you have bawbels for it, you bunch of proud pommel-lovin arse rompers. And that applies to all you shanker-ridden swiving wagtails as well.
Update: (genghis of Spades) Well gorble my smackers you bunch of gimdibblers. Sorry you've had to suffer through this past week in a kitteh-free zone, but that'll all change on Monday. Unless he hacks my computer again, shutting me down for another week.
Meanwhile, to reinforce Maet's point, whatever it was, while the profanity of the icebacks is quaint and charming, it's just a matter of time before it becomes a dead language, much like Latin and C++, only to be studied in the ivy-covered halls of academia and by warrior-monks at the monasteries of ancient Redmond (where they painstakingly illuminate code by hand).
A more practical list of profanity you may wish to study and learn is Spanish for when the Mexican Empire finally decides it's had enough of our b.s. and moves north to invade and enslave us.
In the meantime, you should probably brush up on your pseudo-profanity, otherwise known as a minced oath. For study purposes just watch "Napolean Dynamite" repeatedly because, gosh darn-it, it's coming to a blog near you. Very very soon.
Original kitteh-free post resumes below. more...
Posted by: Open Blog at
06:11 PM
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— Open Blog Via Allah-p, HotAirPundit provides some red meat for the party.
The Marine's name is David Hedrick. His mastery of the silent "bitch" has rarely been surpassed in all of TownHall-Fu.
"Stay away from my kids"
"If Nancy Pelosi Wants To Find A Swastika, Maybe She Should Look On The Sleeve Of Her Own Arm"
UPDATE: fixed the 'M' in Marine. Apologies for loose shit.
Posted by: Open Blog at
01:45 PM
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— DrewM News so damning that the Friday afternoon dump wasn't good enough.
The White House hired a private communications company based in Minnesota to distribute mass e-mails, helping to shed light on how some recipients received e-mails in support of President Obama's health care plan without signing up for them, FOX News has learned.The company, Govdelivery, describes itself as the world's leading provider of government-to-citizen communication solutions and says its e-mail service provides a fully-automated on-demand public communication system.
It is still unknown how much taxpayer money the White House provides to Govdelivery for its services.
Now the company they hire has other government contracts but this is spending public money to fund a political message. Yes, the line can be thin sometimes but Obama is taking it to a whole new level. Change! indeed.
*I changed the headline because I don't think the company really qualifies as a "Spammer". The White House gave them the emails, it's not Govdelivery's fault some of them were unsolicited.
Posted by: DrewM at
09:12 AM
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— Open Blog When political activism and grant money colors science, bad public policy is sure to follow. Initially I was at a loss when I read this. Do they truly comprehend the economic impact here?
First, what do they think these fleets can be retrofitted with to reach their goals? The technology has yet to be invented that allows either a carbon-neutral jet engine, or some other form of propulsion.
Second: What do they think will happen to their economy if tourism and all the myriad business commerce that takes place via air travel were to cease?
Then I remembered rule number 1 of perplexing government actions: Follow the money.
This isn't about pollution. This isn't about neo-luddites, or about politicians with a visceral hatred of humanity.
It is about money. This is a shakedown. Force airlines to buy carbon offsets directly or via fines the EU will impose.
Under the new law, from January 1, 2012 all airlines -- both European and non-European -- operating within Europe would have to limit CO2 emissions or face penalties.
The Western world's governments are all looking more like mobsters every day, complete with the expensive suits and the thriving protection rackets.
If you don't believe it can happen here, you should reconsider what Cap and Trade is all about.
The ghosts of La Cosa Nostra are kicking themselves for not having the foresight: Forget buying off politicians -- we should have been the politicians.
Posted by: Open Blog at
07:13 AM
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— Dave in Texas Well duh. Could I have a little news with my coffee?
We're not in the post-racial period," Paterson said."The reality is the next victim on the list - and you can see it coming - is President Barack Obama, who did nothing more than trying to reform a health care system."
Paterson said the campaign against him is being "orchestrated" by reporters who would rather make the news than report it.
Critics suggested the governor might consider his actions in office as a possible reason for his unpopularity. Critics are racists too.
We're pretty much all racists in this post-racial, having elected a black man to the Presidency of the United States period.
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ok, I get it that the 48% who didn't are "racists". Dissent is racism now. Get with the program you boogerheads.
Posted by: Dave in Texas at
05:09 AM
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August 21, 2009
— Dave in Texas His name is BenK. The Commish.
It's time for some football, and I have a wingman who has set up the places you want to be.
Where everybody knows you're awful lame
so they're naturally glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name.
Your loser name.
This is for you damned losers,
details follow. cheerleader too. I'm a giver.
Posted by: Dave in Texas at
08:52 PM
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— Open Blog Well another week has come and gone. No pots of gold from the sky, but then no major disasters or kittehs either. Sadly due to the carelessness of a certain moronette who shall remain nameless the genghis managed to escape. There haven't been any sighting yet, but based on some clues from his last emails, he seems to be on a mission to take down 'Big Brothel' whatever that is. So be on the lookout if you're in the Nevada or Thailand area.
Anyway here are a few items that you may enjoy:
Item #1: Really Crappy Taxidermy
I know that taxidermy is a skill as well as an a art and everyone has to start somewhere. But really some of these are so awful that it seems a shame to have wasted perfectly good fur and horns. If one of these was my starter mount, I think I would just burn it and hope the next one is decent enough to actually show to another human being. But apparently there are enough examples of bad taxidermy that there is an entire blog dedicated to it.
Item #2: The Worst Boyfriends From Television and Movies
Yeah we know that women are attracted to bad boys, but a lot of these guys are just cads, losers, and/or sociopaths. Now as a scientist-type I do respect empirical results and so if this is what charms the ladies well who am I to judge. So the question becomes which of these douchebags I should model myself after. I'm thinking a Zabka-Bond hybrid might be just the perfect combination.
more...
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07:00 PM
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— Purple Avenger Below the fold we have the official theme song for ObamaCare. This post is also sponsored by festering bed sores, chronic nasal drip, and Morgellons's disease. None of which will qualify for more than an aspirin in the near future. more...
Posted by: Purple Avenger at
06:45 PM
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— Purple Avenger Yea, the same super rich John McAfee of McAfee anti-virus fame.
...Bill Gates, Warren E. Buffett, the heirs to the Wal-Mart Stores fortune and the founders of Google each lost billions last year, according to Forbes magazine. In one stark example, John McAfee, an entrepreneur who founded the antivirus software company that bears his name, is now worth about $4 million, from a peak of more than $100 million. Mr. McAfee will soon auction off his last big property because he needs cash to pay his bills after having been caught off guard by the simultaneous crash in real estate and stocks.This whole piece is worth a read since it dovetails with the $2T adjustment Ace just wrote about. Curiously, it was written by the NYT which hasn't been notoriously sympathetic with the plight of the super rich in the past. I guess now that their numbers are drastically contracting, as well as their wealth, along with their ahem...ability to be the stated ATM of choice the Obama administration“I had no clue,” he said...
My spies in the Obama administration tell me that they've stopped shipping out unicorns. All unicorn shipments will be replaced with ChiaPets along with a little flyer telling the recipient if they take a couple of hits of blotter along with squinting a bit after pounding down a 6-pack, they'll start to see something that resembles a unicorn. more...
Posted by: Purple Avenger at
04:39 PM
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— Gabriel Malor It's been a while since I put up one of these. This one strikes me as timely. Check out the former U.S. Pension Office:
Click over to SHORPY for the large size. There is a picture in the comments there of the space as it looks today.
Posted by: Gabriel Malor at
03:52 PM
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