Hah! They think they can co-opt bloggers' independence with promises of additional traffic and, get this, filthy corrupting corporate money!

Well, it's going to take more than that, Microsoft Corporation. I'm going to need a public-relations gift package too. Like maybe a t-shirt and a baseball cap and a mousepad that says "My blog [Heart] the Microsoft Corporation." And Oooh!-- maybe some bottled water and some cookies or something. You know, something to nosh on.

Hardball, baby. You won't buy this boy on the cheap.*

* Unless that's all you're offering, in which case I reserve the right to reconsider this hasty declaration. Seriously. Give me a ringy-dingy. We'll hash out the terms.

Thanks to, um, that excitable chap with the purple blog, the very mention of whose name causes half of my readers to think "Go get him!" and the other half to tune out, bored to the point of being Arafat.

Incidentally, this particular very-excitable fellow embraces the liberal theory that Bush won because America is filled with morons, by offering a bit of cynicism from the misanthrope Mencken as his "Quote of the Day." The quote gets right to the point-- it actually calls the public "morons."

Well, you keep quoting Mencken saying that the American people are morons, Mr. Excitable. The best Mencken quote is on this site and no other.

Posted by: Ace at 02:59 PM | Comments (12)
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Excellent digest and links at Winds of Change.

Posted by: Ace at 02:47 PM | Comments (1)
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Shocking, I know, but there's the evidence, right there in black-and-white.

Getting the major media in the bag for the Republican Party was the smartest thing we ever did. Their partisan efforts on our behalf must be worth, oh, something like 15% at the polls.

Posted by: Ace at 02:44 PM | Comments (3)
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My, how you've grown:

JOURNAL OF THE CONTINENTIAL CONGRESS

(Philadelphia)

Friday, November 10, 1775

Resolved, That two Battalions of marines be raised, consisting of one Colonel, two Lieutenant Colonels, two Majors, and other officers as usual in other regiments; and that they consist of an equal number of privates with other battalions; that particular care be taken, that no persons be appointed to office, or enlisted into said Battalions, but such as are good seamen, or so acquainted with maritime affairs as to be able to serve to advantage by sea when required; that they be enlisted and commissioned to serve for and during the present war between Great Britain and the colonies, unless dismissed by order of Congress: that they be distinguished by the names of the first and second battalions of American Marines, and that they be considered as part of the number which the continental Army before Boston is ordered to consist of.

Ordered, That a copy of the above be transmitted to the General.

Two-hundred-twenty-nine years old. But they read at the level of a two-hundred-fifty-six year old.

Thanks to both ScottK and JimM for the tip. Stupid me, I forgot to buy a gift.

Gee, I wonder if they'd want booze...

More: Halls of Montezuma has some Marine bragadoccio, both funny and well-earned, with lots of links.

The New York Post also celebrates the Marines' birthday.

Thanks again to ScottK.

Posted by: Ace at 02:29 PM | Comments (1)
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First, Bush won convincingly.

Then, Tom Daschle was booted out of Washington and back to South Dakota, where he belongs. Ummmm... okay, so he's probably just booted out of one Washington job to another. You get my point.

The liberal legacy media is thoroughly dispirited and discredited, and Dan Rather is looking at the coming report on his "mistakes" with the same spooked panic as a dog eyeing up a vacuum cleaner.

Last week, Arafat died, except he didn't quite die. Instead, he seems to be lingering in some comatose nightmare state, beset by frightening demons, kind of like Jacob's Ladder except with a happier ending.

And then we moved on Fallujah. Finally.

But now comes the cherry on the Sunday, because we seem to have confirmation that Ami the Hot Chick on Survivor: Vanatu is, yes, a full-on lesbian.

And she's pretty bossy, too.

What did I do to deserve all this? Surely the Powers That Rule Fate can't be that impressed by gonzo Republicanism, cock jokes, and Billy Squier references.

Or... can they?

You can count on Billy Squier's cock to cut your taxes.

Just Got Slightly Better Update: A Romanian judge has been booted off the bench for moonlighting in hardcore porn.

Her oevure is said to include such cinematic masterpieces as Here Comes the Judge, Hung Jury, Oral Arguments, and the legendary Penal Colony.

Thanks to GregS. I've been waiting to use those cheap jokes on this blog for a year now. Now I'm at peace. (How about Justice of the Piece? No? A little too forced? Oh, well.)

Posted by: Ace at 01:14 PM | Comments (27)
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She's not a conservative but not quite a liberal either, and she's a little feisty. I've been putting off reading this article all day, and now I regret doing so:

Democrats of Manhattan, rise and shine! ItÂ’s been over a week now. The American people have spoken, and what they said was: They donÂ’t want you. The vote is in, the map is more red than blue, that smirking jerk you love to hate is back for four more years. So now what?

Clearly, your most frequently stated option is not a realistic possibility. If you were really going to kill yourself in the event that President George W. Bush got re-elected, you would have done so by now. This leaves you, like every other loser, with two things: a bitter taste in your mouth, and a choice. You can sit around and keep telling each other how stupid and scary the winners are. Or you can put down the hemlock and the Häagen-Dazs, splash some cold water on your face, look in the mirror and tell yourself some awful truths.

Read your lips:

Bush is not an idiot. Kofi Annan is not an oracle. Michael Moore is not Everyman. Women are not ovaries with feet. And to be an American is not an embarrassment.

Great start, huh? She actually then says she voted for Kerry, but at least she hasn't got her head completely up her ass about the state of things:

Curiously, then, it is not the party I voted against that is driving me nuts right now. It is the party I voted for. ItÂ’s the same feeling that I got about the Democrats after 2000: I agree with them, but I canÂ’t stand them, in the exact same way I canÂ’t stand anyone who would rather whine than shine.

I think there's a lot in truth in this. Truth be told, I'm more of a Republican than a conservative. Oh, I'm conservative on several issues, but actually I'm sorta moderate on several. I'm the worst sort of political enthusiast -- driven not by true ideology, but by pure partisanship.

But it's not just pure partisanship; that's the thing. Part of what makes me root so passionately against the Democrats every election cycle is that they annoy me. Not necessarily their policies, although I do disagree with them more than I agree with them.

It's just that they're, you know, whiny solipsistic sanctimonious pricks with an outsized sense of entitlement. Or does that put it too subtly?

It's often been said that liberals look for heretics while conservatives look for converts. That's not completely true, of course; I see a certain amount of heresy-hunting on the right, and it does piss me off.

But it is true to some extent. Liberals have to stop acting as if they are entitled to rule due to their exalted status as God's Special Creatures, and begin behaving as if (and this the reality, of course) they had to sell their programs and earn the votes of the public.

Name-calling and whining -- calling the the majority of America morons -- every time you lose an election is doubly counterproductive. First, of course, you're alienating 51% of the public, which is not wise.

But it's worse than that. It's a sign of a fundamental misperception of the nature of reality, and liberals' place in it. Liberals are not ordained to rule by divine providence. When they are not elected, it is not some sort of betrayal. We don't owe liberals anything.

Liberal can be elected -- witness Bill Clinton -- but they have to begin behaving as if they understand that it is the public's right to vote for them, or vote against them, as they choose and as they think wisest. And they can start by jacking up the suasion and sense and dampening down the sanctimony and self-regard.

Update: Intesting observations on Democrats and the "religion problem" over at Polar Opposite Politics. One guy there seems to be a former (current?) reader, the other guy some kind of evil-goateed-Sulu type nefarious character. Kind of like Crossfire, except, you know, with a maniacally laughing Sulu.

At any rate, here's a bit:

My impression is that the mass media and the advance of technology have accelerated and exacerbated cultural issues in this country. In the big cities, most people know gay folks, are friends with gay folks. When you have a personal connection to someone gay, you are less likely to want to infringe their rights. And that viewpoint, taken for granted in Hollywood, is clearly well-represented in our popular culture.

That popular culture is then broadcast into homes all across the world, including homes in middle America. Maybe it persuades some of them that perhaps homosexuality isn't all that "bad." But equally if not more likely, maybe it creates more resentment among folks who don't like Hollywood cramming its values down their throats.

That's from First Assassin Sulu, by the way.

Ted Rall Ain't Helpin' Either Update: I can't be bothered to read this humanoid vermin, but I don't have to, because Secure Liberty has.

Whatta hump. The left's big loudmouthed champions are a nickle-and-dime home-movie-making pixie (well, a pixie weighing three bills and change) and a... cartoonist.

Nothing against cartoonists in general, mind you.

Posted by: Ace at 12:56 PM | Comments (5)
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It's not surprising it took this level of psychotic outrage to wake the Dutch up. Seems like it took an awful lot to wake America out of its slumber as well.

This letter is sent to me by Jim Oberg, who vouches for its authenticity and says it came from a Dutchman he knows personally:

It's sad indeed, but what's even sadder is the fact that everybody was predicting things like this were bound to happen sooner or later (but everybody knew it would be sooner).

Everybody was warning for muslim extremism, with Christians and Jews being harrassed by young Morroccans, spit in their faces, beaten up, robbed, etc. Everybody was saying something HAD to be done, except the government. Even when Pim Fortuyn was assassinated (the right-wing politician who dared to say these things aloud in the press) the ruling parties spoke out that the limit had been reached, did nothing and after a few weeks went back to every-day business.

Posted by: Ace at 11:56 AM | Comments (21)
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I was the first blogger to bring you the news that Bob Dole was, shockingly enough, on frickin' fire.

And while everyone knew that Zell Miller lit up John Kerry like a roman candle, I was still the first to determine that he too had caught flame and was now officially on frickin' fire.

Despite the best efforts of six firefighting companies, Zell Miller continues to blaze out of control:

The more Maureen Loud [sic] gets on 'Meet the Press' and writes those columns, the redder these states get. I mean, they don't want some high brow hussy from New York City explaining to them that they're idiots and telling them that they're stupid."

High-brow hussy? I don't know about high-brow. Kinda middle-brow at best. I don't think you can actually be "high-brow" watching television eighteen damn-bastard hours a day. I gotta think you occasionally have to crack open a book to be high-brow.

No problems with "hussy," though.

Posted by: Ace at 11:37 AM | Comments (8)
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Our fair and balanced media just keeps getting even more fair and more balanced by the moment.

ABCNew's Carole Simpson notes that the Red States are mostly former slave states, and implies that means an awful lot for present-day politics.

The mask is slipping. It's about time. As everyone has said a thousand times before: We're not mad that you're liberal (though we're also not happy about that).

We're mad because you're liars. Stop lying, give us the same amount of disclosure about yourselves that you give regarding any other political actor -- you're always quick to note that the Heritage Foundation is conservative, right? -- and we will stop calling you liars, and just start simply ignoring you entirely.

Another Shot Into the Bowline: Skip the first two paragraphs, making a dumb James Bond/Spectre joke, and go to the third paragraph to read about our neutral and objective media's collective funk.

Posted by: Ace at 11:23 AM | Comments (5)
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It's not nearly as tragic as you might be worrying.

Posted by: Ace at 11:11 AM | Comments (11)
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