Steve Jobs is dead, but we still have Obama. more...

Posted by: Ace at 03:12 PM | Comments (113)
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Their word. They actually said that. The report really said, "economically retarded."

No it didn't.

But in that one moment of doubt, a million possibilities existed. I created those possibilities. You're welcome.

No but actually the panel seems to think this is a boondoggle for some vague reasons.

The group, which exists by state law and was directed by the California State Legislature to conduct the report, concluded that “moving ahead on the [High-Speed Rail] project without credible sources of adequate funding, without a definitive business model, without a strategy to maximize the independent utility and value to the state, and without appropriate management resources, represents an immense financial risk on the part of the state of California.”

As Spinal Tap said of the detailed criticism of their albums: "Yeah, but that's just nit-picking, isn't it?"

Now this will not be the final word. Independent commissions like this, after all, merely represent the interest of tax-paying citizens, or, in ObamaWorld, the people who don't matter who cling bitterly to their children's future.

Barack Obama

Tony Stark's got nothin' on him.

Posted by: Ace at 02:32 PM | Comments (170)
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I, actually, do welcome our new ape overlords.

Because apes would know better than to pour billions into Solyndra and the external combustion engine.

Making a genetically superior monkey. Swell.

Fusing primate cells apparently requires more potent, early stage cells from a living embryo, said lead researcher Shoukhrat Mitalipov of the Oregon National Primate Research Centre at Oregon Health and Science University.

Well, they must know how scary this is for people. I'm sure they gave the genetic ultra-monkeys some cute, nonthreatening names, at least.

The experiment produced three healthy male rhesus monkeys they named Roku, Hex and Chimero, with gene traits from all of the separate embryos used to meld them.

Well, that's another way to go, I guess.

Let me guess how this all turns out: Roku's the "nice one," like Gizmo, that Hex and Chimero murder before breaking out of the lab and raping women to create monkey Uruk-Hai.

Meanwhile, a chimp has learned how to strike matches.

Eh so what. Simple enough trick. But does he have the cognitive functions to do something with fire?

Oh. Ohhh.

In related news, everyone says the human parts of Rise of the Planet of the Apes were awful, but the ape parts were great.

Thanks to @drewmtips and @gpollowitz

Posted by: Ace at 01:46 PM | Comments (172)
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They are recalling "around 8000" Volts for minor "structural repairs," because, as it turns out, part of the vehicle's GreenSmart technology involves catching on fire and murdering you, which turns out to have been the hit it was planned to be.

They've sold 7,671 of the short-range vehicles/rolling immolation murder-carts, so they seem to be recalling more vehicles than actually sold. I guess the rest of them are sitting in dealer lots, awaiting victims, like Christine, if Christine only had a range of 40 miles.

In other words, it's just one more damn Obama triumph.

Oh and incidentally another car Obama shoveled your money into, one not even built in the US, is being recalled for fire hazard.

Fisker Automotive is recalling its 2012 Karma because of a potential coolant leak.

The plug-in hybrid cars cost about $100,000. Fisker has sold about 50 of them and says 1,200 more are in production or waiting to be sold.

Improperly installed hose clamps in the car's battery pack could cause coolant to leak, which could start a fire. Fisker says no incidents have been reported by customers or retailers.

Looks like Obama might actually have a plan to create more jobs, in the automotive fire-fighting sector, and of course the skin reconstruction/burn ward industry.

Every day he figures out a new way to be incompetent, failing miserably in some new endeavor.

For the low price of $10 billion, he's invented the External Combustion Engine for us. He's like a Renaissance Man of Failure.

Posted by: Ace at 12:44 PM | Comments (307)
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I'm just calling this an open thread because this doesn't seem like the sort of thing that warrants its own post, but it's funny.

This, from Ben in the sidebar, is also good.

A drunk Colorado woman punched an iconic $30 million painting and rubbed her bare buttocks on the artwork before collapsing in a heap and urinating on herself at a museum, the Denver Post reported.

...

“It doesn’t appear she urinated on the painting or that the urine damaged it, so she’s not being charged with that,” Denver District Attorney spokeswoman Lynn Kimbrough told the Post.

She did, they say, $100,000 in damage to the $30 million painting.

$30 million?

I don't want to be Joe Philistine but like I was just saying, quoting Adam Carolla, if I could do that (and I could), then it's not super-duper art.

I mean, I like it, sure. It looks like those "Indian" wall-hangings you used to be able to buy at Six Flags Great Adventure for $5. To go with your rubber sucker-tipped arrows. So, sure, shoot me that painting, and a little plastic bow with the sucker-tipped arrows, and I'll pay 50, maybe 60 buck.

But... come on. If this is super-art then I've got some old book covers from middle school that I need to get on the market, stat.

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Posted by: Ace at 12:31 PM | Comments (121)
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Winning. Vid at the link, or below.

By the way, even uber-liberal Tim Noah (now at TNR) cannot imagine how this can be anything but unconstitutional.

Had he appointed Cordray yesterday, during a brief period when the Senate was technically in recess, the action would have been supported by precedent. Apparently, though, that appointment would have lasted only through 2012. By appointing Cordray today, Obama can keep him at CFPB through 2013.

The trouble is that the Senate isn't in recess. For complicated reasons the Republicans have the ability to prevent the Senate from going into recess, and they have done so in order to maximize the difficulty of Obama making recess appointments. The White House maintains that keeping the Senate in pro forma session is a stupid gimmick, which is certainly true. It further maintains that because it is a stupid gimmick, that gives the president the right to act as though the Senate were in recess. That's the part I have trouble following.

Awful. Politico has a story about how the fightin' fightin' nutroots are TOTALLY PSYCHED over this.

But of course they are. They are intemperate juveniles who only care about doing endzone dances against the right.

Perhaps Politico should add that perspective.

You know, Politico, if the next Republican president did something brazenly unconstitutional, we on the right would not have a party in the Smooshroom* just because we got to jump around like monkeys saying "In you face, liberals!" We'd be concerned.

* The "Smooshroom" is from Jersey Shore, and I think maybe it's some kind of sex room. I don't watch Jersey Shore. I only know this reference from Beavis and Butthead, which is better than it was in the 90s.
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Posted by: Ace at 11:31 AM | Comments (291)
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I know the most popular answer is going to be "No," because people will trample over their dying grandmother to scream about cover versions and adulterations of the original.

Like, what? For 100 years in music everyone covered everything, eighteen times, but now we can only have one "official" version of a song?

Anyway, I think this might be something. Let go of your hate.

Although... I have to admit, it does sound like a hard rock version of Glee, now that I hear more of it. more...

Posted by: Ace at 10:41 AM | Comments (201)
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No seriously. Everyone talks about her hair which is, admittedly, a nightmare.

But what about her teeth? What's Debbie Wasserman-Shultz's mouth have in common with Steven King's Cujo? They both feature rogue canines. Heyyyo!

No but seriously, the last time I saw a mouth like that it had a Quint in it. Hiiiyyya!

Anyway, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz might be an atheist's case in chief against the existence of God. Would a kind, loving god make an idiot ugly?

And don't say "maybe she's good in bed." Again, look at those chompers. I hear she gave the wrestling team bjs in high school. There were no survivors.

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Posted by: Ace at 10:33 AM | Comments (121)
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Chris Kyle was having a wake for a fallen friend (Micheal A. Monsoor) and Jesse Ventura insisted on not only railing against the war, and not only claiming these guys were killing innocent women and children, but going to the next level -- saying "we deserve to lose a few guys."

At a wake. For a guy who'd jumped on a grenade to save his team.

He can't go any lower, you say? Wrong. He can go down to the floor.

Via Breitbart.tv and @andrewbreitbart more...

Posted by: Ace at 09:56 AM | Comments (192)
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According to Joan Baez.

Legendary civil rights campaigner Martin Luther King, Jr loved telling "racial jokes" about himself and members of his entourage, according to folk singer Joan Baez.

...

Baez says, "Before performing at the March on Washington I spent a lot of time with Dr King. In private, he and his lieutenants - Jesse Jackson, Andrew Young and others - were constantly ragging on each other and telling racial jokes about themselves! Totally not PC. I'd be standing there with my mouth open thinking, 'Oh dear, we're not supposed to say these things', and they'd just be howling!

She also says they told "dirty" jokes.

From @williamamos

Oh, and MSNBC I guess is adding its own racial humor to the lineup.

I call this joke "Pilgrims on Thanksgiving."

SHARPTON: Give me your idea of the kinds of things people ought to deal with this Thursday when their families and friends get together.

HARRIS-PERRY: You know, it's an interesting question. I've been thinking a lot about Thanksgiving and the moment that we're in because, you know, our economic crisis right now is highly tied to the European economic crisis and so I was thinking about kind of what is that first Thanksgiving when these illegal immigrants from Europe come over and are fed by the people of the actual Americas, the Native and indigenous people, you know, here on this land, that they are trying to escape religious prosecution and persecution in Europe and then you have the Europeans basically calling them dirty, no good, worthless, basically 99 percenters, right? And all of that is now playing out in a different way as we see the 99 percent pushing back against this idea that the elites are the only one that deserve to have a Thanksgiving dinner. All of that.

So this radical racial Marxist will be an MSNBC weekend host.

This woman is supposed to be a professor. I think Adam Carolla was just describing his idea of "Art" simply as "if I couldn't do it, then it's art." Which makes sense. Art is craft. If you just cut a big piece of steel and throw it up in a plaza, I could have done that. So you're not demonstrating any more craft than a talentless guy like me has. So it's not art.

Applying this rule to academic scholarship: If you're speaking in a goofball racial cant which I could easily make up myself as a parody, and not name-checking any movement, person, or event more obscure than the Pilgrims, and the current rage OWS, which all children have heard of, then you're not a "professor." You're some kind of huckster who gamed the system to get a fake job with a real paycheck.

Posted by: Ace at 09:27 AM | Comments (132)
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